304. Driving my Dominant

304

Oh, no, no, no!  Not THAT kind of driving.  I mean, “driving” as in “motivating, influencing, have an effect on.”  As in, “What’s driving him to Dominant the way he does?”  Hee hee.  Yeah, Mike leaves the dildos for “female entrance” only. lol.   

I posted recently about my high sex drive.  Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you want to look at it), things of sort of leveled out to a more normal sexual urge.  Which still means lots of sex, just not so frenzied about it and craving it from one moment to the next.  

It got me thinking about the ebbs and flows of not just sexual appetite, but of my need for submission.   Although there is never a time I don’t want to feel submissive towards Mike, there are times I crave it more than others.  Even a few times where I requested a spanking, “just because.”    I posted about the first time I ever asked for one in post 42.  I’ve asked for a few here and there since then, but I don’t think I posted about them.   It hasn’t been a common thing for me.  

This, in turn, led me to think about whether Mike goes through such fluxes.   There has to be time’s his sex drive is higher than normal, or times he just feels the need to do something dominant – talk sternly, give orders, give harder discipline.  That would just be normal, no? 

MIKES SEX DRIVE
When it comes to sexual urges, he said he never feels it in the way I recently did regarding just not being able to get enough.  He thinks it’s because he gets it frequently and in many varieties.  He said the “thirst” never exceeds a certain threshold before it gets quenched. 

Not to say there aren’t times where he just wants it in a given moment, or, is excited about knowing he will “get it” soon.   But those feelings are soon remedied.   Yep, he is able to get a sudden quickie of either sex or a blow job just because he feels like it.  That’s how it goes when Kayla and I make ourselves available without hesitation.   

As they say, “Multiple blow jobs a day keep the urges away.”   

Do they really say that?  Well, we do.

Mike stated that there are times he is more turned on than others and that this usually shows up in his refractory period.  That is, the time it takes to regain an erection after climax.  There are times he is ready to go pretty quickly, and other times he has no interest after cumming.  Basically, if he is feeling particularly horny, he is likely to rebound quickly, thus, eventually able to satisfy his immediate craving.

OH, BY THE WAY . . . 
This is a little off topic, but since when does a Jenny post stay on topic?   When we are having sex, as in sex sex, Mike is very good at making sure the woman/women involved climax, even if he has already done so.  But, in the case of the quicky blow jobs,  it is all about his need to get off.   These bj’s can occur at any time, and practically anywhere.

For me, not being able to finish myself isn’t often a big deal.  I love the submission of a giving a bj without notice, but I typically not so turned on sexually that I feel the need to get to an orgasm.  The few times I have had that feeling I simply have to take matters into my own hands, literally!    It happens way more with Kayla. I think I mentioned before that she has actually climaxed from giving head.  She really gets turned on by it.  

There are times when Mike is working from home and she gives him a quick bj in the hallway.  He has to get back to work and will sometimes tell her to masturbate until she cums, or call me over to “help her.”   Oh, the things we submissive do for our Sirs!

Okay, where were we? 

MIKE’S DOMINANCE DRIVE
As for craving Dominance, Mike said he feels he never craves it.  He chalked it up to the fact that any need he has for Dominance is constantly being fed.  He said that between me and Kayla, there is always someone waiting, serving, deferring, listening, obeying or submitting to him in one way or another.  And as for spanking, he says he doesn’t ever recall thinking, “Man, I really just want to punish her a certain way just for the sake of how it makes me feel.” 

He said he is always thinking about what we “expect and deserve” out of a punishment.  He bases that on previous infractions and punishments and his sense of what we are needing from a submissive and atonement aspect.   He said he has felt the “need” to perhaps hit a little harder, or punish a little longer.  But it comes from balancing what I deserve based on my needs and expectations.  The closest thing he related to thinking about himself is when he sometimes just wants to change things up.  For one, he likes to surprise us sometimes with something a little different, and, he enjoys thinking up different things, especially when it comes to trying to be creative in having the “punishment fit the crime” so to speak.    

MY THOUGHTS
It was nice to hear this.  But I am not like, “Aw, that’s so thoughtful and nice of him.”  I mean, he could always have some day where he just needs to dominate more than usual.  That wouldn’t make him unthoughtful.  It’s bound to happen.  However, it did warm my heart to hear him express how, even after almost four years of DD (something that I imposed on our relationship), that he still strives to stay focused on my needs and those of Kayla’s.  Even though our need is to be submissive to him, doesn’t mean our need is for him to Dominate us. 

This may sound inconsistent with what I shared six months ago in the post about our dynamic evolving to be more about his Dominance than about my submission.   But it’s more nuanced than that.  Our dynamic did evolve to where both of us wanted Mike to demonstrate his Dominance more often.  That is, I wanted him to exert more power and influence over our activities and it just so happens that Mike was also wanting to do just that.  This differed from the way our dynamic had worked previously where his Dominance had been more about executing to the things I explicitly expressed I needed as a submissive. 

My discussion with Mike regarding the topic of today’s post showed me that although Mike is now setting the tone for his Dominance, (versus me setting the tone for my submission) the tone he sets is still based on his perception of what I want and need.   Even though our DD has evolved, the needs of “his submissives” still remain the primary motive behind the power and influence he chooses to exert. 

I liked hearing that.  I do want his needs to be fulfilled over my own.  That’s my chosen role as a submissive.  And it is great to hear that his needs are to strive to fulfill my needs.  That makes for an amazing symbiotic relationship where his Dominance feeds my submission, and my submission feeds his Dominance.    

Although I can imagine some submissive prefer a more dominant Dominant, that’s just not my preference, nor Kayla’s.  I assume that could change someday, but I doubt it. 

It’s yet another reason I feel so fortunate in my DD journey.  Somehow we have been able to remain in sync regarding what each other is able to deliver (give) and what each other needs (takes).  It can be very difficult to keep the “gives and takes” in balance.   

I chalk up our success to 100% authentic and unfiltered communication and a deep desire to see the other happy and fulfilled wrapped in a complete willingness to be vulnerable to one another regarding our thoughts and needs.  And the most elusive element of all – luck.   I feel very fortunate and lucky that somehow we always make things work for us. 

303. A kink in our routine

303

No, not The Kinks.  A kink.  And not the kinky kind of kink.

It was an unexpected 17 days between posts.  It’s been one thing after another.  My mom, who is in her early 80’s, had a bad fall.  I spent a lot of time tending to her and still will be doing so here and there.  Thankfully she is doing well. 

I know often times a fall like hers can mark the beginning of a swift decline, but she is on the road to bouncing back.    It will still probably be three or four more months before she is ready to mountain climb again (just kidding).   Seriously, she will need help with everyday tasks for several more months.   Thankfully she has long-term care insurance.  Not that it will end up paying all that much as she likely won’t need a home health aide for too long.  But it is comforting to know that there is a source to pay for her care if it becomes more serious.   If you are outside the U.S., maybe your socialized medicine provides such care, but in the great U.S.A., insurance doesn’t cover custodial care unless you are expected to recuperate very quickly.    There’s your insurance lesson for the day!

Enough about that.  There was more. . . 

The cold and flu bug hit our house, which isn’t that big of a deal except that J often struggles when he is sick.  His breathing can become compromised very quickly when he is all congested.   Plenty of inhalers and breathing treatments help address that, but his sleep schedule was all messed up which meant for some long nights.

Then there was more . . .  

My 21-year old niece came to stay with us for 5 days.  She lives on her own and is going through some issues and needed a respite from her boyfriend, friends, social media, and her parents.  So we became that respite.   We’re the “cool aunt and uncle” and often joke we are the Switzerland of our family as we tend to remain neutral to various things that happen in families.  Actually, it isn’t so much that we are neutral, it’s that we put out a more positive vibe that I think is comforting when someone is struggling.  As my niece puts it, we are “less judgey and more comforting.”  

Suffice to say all this tossed a few wrenchs into our normal routine.  

Being newly anointed “naturists” we all typically don’t wear clothes around the house.  But the cold weather often prompts one of us to don clothing of some sort.   I’ve mentioned before J really took to this nudist thing and actually his enthusiasm has a lot to do with why we made it our norm.   I mentioned before he has some tactile response issues and not wearing clothes seems to soothe him.   My niece was well aware of our clothing optional household as she was part of the “Naked Caravan.”    So she partook in it freely.  Frankly, it can feel more awkward if you are the only one with clothes on.

While her stay with us didn’t cramp our nudism, it did put a damper on our Domestic Discipline.  There were more “deferred” punishments that would be administered when we could get away over to John and Donna’s for some privacy.  And the sexual stuff was kept discreet – no random blow jobs in Mike’s home office.   

I do have some things I want to share and plan to get some posts out over the next several days.   At this point, I just wanted to drop a quick line as to what was going on. 

Next: 304. Driving my Dominant

302. Livin’ Libido Loca – Commas over Exclamation Points

302

HIGH SEXUAL DRIVE
My sexual drive has been off the charts.  From “off the charts low to “off the charts high.  Can’t seem to regulate it into some consistent middle ground.  After some time at the “low” end, I am currently riding a big high of sexual energy and appetite.  Luckily my lifestyle presents a daily all you can eat buffet – literally and figuratively speaking.

I know I’ve shared having sex, whether it be with Mike, John, or Matt, as well as with Kayla or Donna.  But I don’t think I’ve really talked directly about my sexual proclivities.  Sharing my fondness of one act or another is likely grounds for turning some of you off.   After all, everyone knows that everyone’s kink is disgusting, except their own.  Well, you will just have to be disgusted because I am in the sharing mood.   Actually, I don’t think I will share a bunch of details, but enough that your imagination can fill in the blanks. 

Lately, I wake up horny, like a ten on a scale of one to ten.  I stay aroused all day, maybe hitting five shortly after an orgasm, but staying around six or seven, even when doing nothing remotely sexual.  The bubbles are always there.  You know, those electrical tingles that rumble and flicker in your tummy and parts south.   While I may put them out of my mind for a moment or two, it doesn’t take much for them to demand my attention. 

Masturbation helps, but I noticed a jump from five back to seven very quickly.  Whereas, having sex with someone seems to keep me at a manageable five for a little longer before the sexual urges slowly start dialing themselves back up.   Hormones!!  or is it, Whore moans?  hee-hee.   Oh, I better not go there, else I may be spanked. 

Suffice to say, I’ve been actively seeking out sex lately, and often one orgasm just isn’t enough.  Fortunately, with my sex dial at maximum, I often climax first, and after reciprocating the delight, I can usually count on my partner to “come through” for me and deliver me a second. 

SEX AND MORE SEX
Mike doesn’t like to go down on me after cumming in or around my hinterlands.  So with him, it typically means my first orgasm is through oral sex and the second through vaginal or anal.   Of course, if Kayla is there, which she often is, she doesn’t hesitate to “clean me up” so to speak.   

Historically, I can reach orgasm from giving oral sex, but it is rare.  It’s far more common lately.  And sometimes I am lucky to have two in quick successions, such as when I am sucking on Mike while Kayla is going to town on me, or vice versa.  And if they aren’t done, it’s a bonus for me to see them through to their orgasm which just might bring me to number three.   

Pre-DD I was never multi-orgasmic.  It was like the orgasm was the exclamation point on the end of the sentence.  Now, it’s more like a comma.  It simply means marks a brief pause and that there is more come..er, I mean, more to come.  And come I do.  hee-hee   

It made for a fun Sunday at John and Donna’s.  Matt was there as well as he still joins us for our Sunday Football (or Sunday Ball’in as the guys lovingly call it).  Yeah, I admit it, I was the center of attention on a mini-gangbang.   Hey, I like it, and Mike loves the cuck.  And it was great because Kayla was there the whole time as well since J was out most of the day with his cousins.   So, between three guys and two women, there typically was always someone ready for another round of fun with me.   It was a nice day of debauchery. 

While I’ve done the “one in each hole” thing before, this time I really got into it.  They each had turns at different “stations of the Jennifer” as I jokingly called it.   I am so bad!  Anyway, that was something new.  

Also, while we keep discipline and sex separate, I have wanted the sex rougher lately.   Like, really getting my ass smacked hard while in doggy, or a harder nipple pulls or breast slaps than usual. I think the aggression and the mix of pain and pleasure helps. And even being handcuffed.  Yummers!   Not my usual sexual m.o., but I am not complaining – and neither is Mike

OTHERS?
It crossed my mind that maybe a new sexual adventure might help quench my thirst.  I thought of my friend Valerie and perhaps offering my help in their quest for a threesome.   However, I advised myself against it.   The friendship vibe I have with her doesn’t seem conducive to a threesome.  Plus, she doesn’t like even talking to me about the things we’ve talked about.  She is very private.  She will sometimes bring up a specific question or comment, but once she is satisfied with an answer, she switches the conversation to more mundane things.   If it is that awkward for her to talk about, then, I can only imagine how uncomfortable she would be with me as the third.  

MIKE’S THOUGHTS?
There aren’t any other prospects out there unless Mike has any requests for me, and he does not.   Mike’s take on my high sex drive has been great.  He can only do so much, and said it’s nice I can find release, however fleeting, without him.   That’s not just the “cuck” in him speaking, but.. well, wait a minute.  Yeah, that would be the “cuck” in him speaking.   ha!   

Although, to be honest, yes, he enjoys sharing me, but it isn’t just that.  He also enjoys my enjoyment, whether it be with Kayla or Donna or one of the other guys.   The way he puts it is he likes seeing me being sexually pleasured whether I am masturbating or having sex with someone else.  He likes to see me and think of me as a sexual being who enjoys sex.  Luckily, I make it so that he doesn’t have to think very hard, hee-hee.  Point is, my pleasure and enjoyment is at the center of his pleasure and enjoyment.  How thoughtful!  lol.

There you have it.  That’s what’s been going on sex-wise.  I hope it levels out soon.  I can’t believe it is almost contract time again!  It will be up on March 17, less than two months away.  If I am still in this sex frenzy, I am afraid it could distort my judgment.   We’ve already talked a little about it and there is not much we plan on changing.  Just codifying a few things that we basically already changed in practice. 

Yeah,  I have a feeling at some point I won’t have the same appreciation as I do today over the thoughts of having a vibrator in me 24×7.   Although I don’t think that is even necessary.  I am so horny that my heartbeat is enough to get me going.  Yep, those electrical tickles are at it again making their way to the hinterlands.   I need to excuse myself. . .

Next: 303. A kink in our routine

301. Pervertables

301

And now for something completely different.   Okay, not exactly completely.  It is kink related after all.

Classroom participation required!   I want to hear your ideas for pervertables.

WHAT GOT ME THINKING ABOUT PERVERTABLES?
We’ve probably spent close to $4,000 over the last three years on creating and growing our joy-box.  There is the $600 that I shared in
Post 43. XXX-Mas shopping, and the whopping $1,540 we spent as chronicled in 130. Growing our Joy Box.  Let alone the nice cabinet (with locks!) that Mike bought to store all this in.   And there have been a few other small purchases along the way.   This doesn’t even address how much I was allowed on new clothes per my dress code or what we spent on my etiquette lessons.

If you are considering expanding your pleasure chest, here’s my thoughts on how meaningful some of our purchases have been or if, in hindsight, I should have stuck with a pervertable.

PERVERTABLE? 
Watch this video from Go Eat a Carrot for a detailed explanation.  Simply put, a pervertable is anything you can repurpose or Macgyver for kinky purposes.   If you aren’t’ familiar with the American slang, Macgyver is a term for improvising.  Such as, “Using a stick, duct tape, nail clippers, and his socks, he Mcgyvered the stalled car to get it running.”   Okay, not a pervertable example, but, I am sure you can think of something kinky to do with a stick, duct tape, nail clippers, and socks.   Discuss!   

So here’s a rundown of my thoughts on pervertables.  

BONDAGE GEAR
We have some handcuffs, restraints, gags, and the more intimidating, spreader bar.  These are more commonly used by or on Kayla as she enjoys being restrained more than I do.  I don’t hate it, but it’s not my go-to thing.   While I gave the spreader bar a try, it’s entirely Kayla’s thing.  

  • Bondage Gear Pervertables?
      Restraints: Zip ties can be used as restraints but could be hard or to remove or even dangerous if you have to cut them off.  Cheap rope can also be used.
    – Gags:  Get a small wiffleball, you can find them about golf ball sized.  Thread a string through it and tie it around the head.  Viola!  Breathable ball gag. 

My thoughts:  You can try the pervertable, but I believe the real thing is a good kinky investment.  Less likely you’ll get hurt (in a bad way).  I feel our $ was well spent. 

BOOB PLAY
As sung in the Sound of Music. . . “Wartenburg on areolas and firm nipple suckers, tight nipple clippers and warm vacuum cup suction.  Bound, big bosoms tied up with strings,
these are a few of my favorite things.”

(er, no, sorry.  THESE are a few of my favorite things).   I digress.  Point is.  I love breast play and breast punishment. 

  • Boob Play Pervertables?
    – Nipple clips:  clothespins, chip clips.  Very inexpensive, and very effective.
    – Suction:   I can’t imagine anything being a good alternative to the real toy, other than a mouth!  But even then, a mouth gets tired!   
    – Wartenburg wheel:   There are plenty of things that can be used for sensation play; feathers, fingernails, clothes of different textures,
  • My thoughts:  If this is something you enjoy, spend the money on the real toy.  The exception is the nipple clamps.  Clothespins are inexpensive and are a great substitute.  The only downside is that some nipple clamps come with a mechanism to adjust them so you can customize the grip.  You can’t do that with a pervertable.   Oh, there is also my homemade tack bra.  It took a little effort to make.  A few repairs now and then as my sewing skills are sub-par, but overall, it works fine.   

SPANKING IMPLEMENTS
This is where we probably spent the most money.  Lots of paddles, crops, floggers, etc.    

  • Spanking Pervertables?
    –  Belts by far are #1 in my book.  Not just for how effective they are, but there is more of an emotional attachment.  It’s something Mike wears.  It’s his.  I get to see it in public and know where it’s been!  Yummy to think about!    Wooden spoons and hair brushes are tied for my #2.   You can use a long-handled bathbrush too, but beware, some implements may pack a surprising wallop. 
  • For the past several months Mike’s go-to is a board he has, pine I think.  About 18 inches long, 3/4 inch thick, and two-and-half inches wide.   Not sure where it came from, just something he had lying around.  But it works great as a paddle.   The only downside is that it is not rounded off for a grip.  It gets uncomfortable for Mike to hold it after a while.   Good thing for my butt!
  • My thoughts:   Stock up on spanking pervertables and minimize your purchases of “official” implements. The stuff we bought isn’t used very often.  They were fun to try out and occasionally fun to pull out for different sensations, but for someone who uses spanking as discipline and not part of play, we should have purchased fewer spanking implements.   If your spanking is part of the play, then, yeah, you probably want the real spanking gear.   The real stuff also gives a pleasurable visual.  Looking at a piece of wood just won’t give you the same visceral reaction as seeing him go for the prison strap.

VIBRATORS / DILDOS
Vibrators can be expensive.  While you can get some that are more moderately priced, my experience is that pleasure correlates to price.  As does durability.   But what can one do if needing to save on their pleasure budget? 

  •  Vibrator pervertables? 
    – Washing machine.  Hee-hee.  I’ve never tried it, but I’ve heard the spin cycle can be really something.  If you need something smaller, I guess a cell phone could work?  Anyone ever actually try that?   Turning the bass up and straddling a subwoofer?  Seems like you’d really have to crank the volume up to make that work.  An electric toothbrush is a good option.  Can be intense and very focused on the clit, so said a teenage Jennifer {cough, cough}.
  • Insertable pervertables? 
    –  The vegetable bin in the refrigerator is one place to start.  Yeah, I must admit, I’ve had a cornucopia of phallic edibles up my cooch over my lifetime.   It’s actually been a long time though.   Also, I guess just about anything with a slender handle can work – hairbrush, certain kitchen utensils, etc.   The key is to make sure it isn’t jagged or otherwise dangerous – and long enough not to get lost!    Then there’s always the banister or bedpost finials if you’re adventurous!
  • My thoughts: From a vibrator perspective, nothing beats an actual vibrator designed for stimulating a woman’s genitals.  So spend the money!   As for dildos, yeah, there are a lot of pervertables from which to choose,  but many may be too long, too short, too wide, too skinny, or simply too dangerous.   Like, for me, yeah, I’ve got bedpost finials, but, if I wanted to masturbate with them, I would have to be fully effaced!  Ouch!


FINAL THOUGHTS
Sometimes a pervertable has to be used out of necessity.  If you are young and at home, you can’t really have dildos or vibrators or such in your drawer, unless you have really progressive parents.  Or, maybe you have roommates and you don’t want them to know anything about your masturbatory practices.  Or heck, maybe you are even married and want to keep it on the down low.  But if you are willing to have a budget for your joy box, consider where a pervertable will suffice and where the “real toy” is a must.   

I want to hear from some of you?  What have you used, or thought of using, or suggest someone try?   Heck, if I like it, I may be willing to try it, except the finial thing.  That would be a hard no.  

Next: 302.  Livin’ Libido Loca – Commas over Exclamation Points

300. Don da da don! 300th post – and it’s Intense!

300

Wow.  I never imagined I would do 300 posts.  I thought my need to share was complete at post 13  Hey, who just muttered, “Yeah, it should have been.”  I heard that.  Be nice!

Yes, this is one of those self-congratulatory “look at me” sort of posts.  Uh, that sort of describes a lot of my posts.  Okay, this is an especially self-congratulatory post.

THE FIRST 100
It was back in December 2016 that I posted 
#100In it, I stated, “I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires, and actions.”  Yep.

I boasted of 45,000 views and about 8,800 visitors since starting the blog in April of that year.   My how things have grown. 

THE SECOND 100
Was completed about a year later, in December 2017 when I posted 
#200 where,  in a rant, I used balloons as an example to explain to my sister why my DD doesn’t buy into the mindset of a misogynistic culture that does little to discourage sexual misconduct by men.  Yeah, I did that.  Balloons.  The connection should be obvious, but if it isn’t, read the post.

Oh, and in the second 100, in between posts about some surprising thought, desire or action, I wrote of how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires an actions.

THE THIRD 100
I did better than balloons!  I wrote of “managing the cans” and even mathematically calculated a Domestic Discipline Readiness Score.  And if that’s not evidence of an insightful yet evolving blog, then surely this is — even more posts about the same topic, vulnerability!

Oh.  And yeah,  more posts on how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires and actions.

TODAY
I am still writing about how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires, and actions.  Well, this time I really mean it.  At least, until something happens that surprises me.

And analogies?  I am great with analogies.  Sometimes my analogies are so good that they are as good as like, as like, . . . whatever.  So yeah, as long as my sisters keep questioning my DD, I will continue to create whatever analogies I can to make my point.

And apparently, it resonates with some of you.  I had 481,000 views from 88,000 visitors in 2018, about double from the year before.  And since the beginning, I have had over 750,000 views.  I could reach a million by mid-year.  Yeah, that’s good for a hit of dopamine or two.  Thank you for that.

MOST POPULAR PAGES IN 2018
Same as last year and by a wide margin.  Post 25. Intense Spanking Part II with 33,807 views.   And the odd thing, the prior post, Part I, only had 2,497.  The difference is Part I talks of my feelings and Part II explains the actual punishment.  Clearly, those who read Part II saw no need to read Part I.  And all this time I thought you were mostly here for my heartfelt journey of rebirth and renewal.  Well, I never!!  

The second most popular was at 9,832 views – a huge gap between #1 and #2.   It must be one where I share my mind-stimulating, life-altering philosophy for endless fulfillment.  Well, no it mustn’t.  Another spanking post re Post 133. Intense Punishment.  Hum.  Is the word “intense” somehow a magnet for views?  I wouldn’t dream of simply adding it to a title just to see if it attracts views. 

And #3 was the first Domestic Discipline Contract I posted, 12. Our DD Contract with 5,613 views.   Yeah! I am proud of my contract!  Hopefully, it serves as fodder for others.  No, not to burn in effigy, but as inspiration for codifying their own dynamic. 

COUNTRIES
U.S. was tops in 2018 by far with 351,801, followed by the UK at 28,776 and Canada at 19,006.  Top countries where English isn’t the primary language was Germany at 9,354, India at 8,006 and Sweden at 4,396.   Way to go Swedes!  Is it perhaps because they love our age gap with Kayla?  This report says they do.  Scandinavians are so cool with their kink, and basically about life in general.  I love the Scandinavian mindset about a lot of things in life.  I often thought if I had to live in some other country, it would likely be one of the Scandinavian or Nordic countries.  I digress.     

SPECIAL THANKS – REFERRERS
The top referrer to my blog was once again Bottomsmarts, a Blogspot blog that is all things spanking.  

Next up on the referrer list is a blog that no longer exists.  It was Ournaturistblog.  They reblogged one of my posts when we were just becoming nudists.  I hope I didn’t so offend their readers that they had to shut down their blog!  hee-hee.  Of course not.  If that were the case, they would just delete their reblog.   It’s too bad they left, as they had some great nudist-culture content.  

Third up is Sayyidsgirl.  Interesting story and someone I chatted with at the beginnings of her journey.  Started out seeking a submissive role, and ended up more as a Domme, or as she puts it, “a switch who dominates.”  

SPECIAL THANKS – COMMENTORS
Naughty Nora topped the comment list and had 1,533 click-throughs to her page.  See, it’s good to make comments!  Check out her great musings on DD in her marriage and kink in general.

Next up was Sweet Girls Journal, another forty-something mother who found bliss in D/s.    And third was so close that I had to include both of them.  Collared Michael and Kdaddy

What’s cool about them is that it illustrates a broader community within TTWD.   Both have very different dynamics than me.  Check out Michael and learn about his journey in a FLM, including caged male chastity.  And check out Kdaddy – a bisexual, polyamorous guy providing meaningful insights into his own unique lifestyle.  

SPECIAL THANKS – THE EMAILERS
I won’t name you by name, but you know who you are.  I appreciate those who take the time to email me and share their story, or ask a question, or hound me mercilessly.  Just kidding.  No one does that.  Everyone is so kind and I enjoy every email. 

Thank you, and may the next 100 be as interesting to you as it is cathartic to me.  May they make you laugh in delight rather than puke in disgust!  Goals!

299. PSA – Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

299

Wow, three days in a row of posting! Yea me!

I ended a prior post with,  Love without limits, and you get loved without limits. “

I need to add, Love YOURSELF without limits, and you can then love without limits, and get loved without limits.”

NEGATIVITY BIAS
Sometimes it’s worth taking a break from the salacious kinky stuff and make sure emotionally we are dealing with any negative thoughts that may arise from our hedonism.  I wrote of this in 277. Understanding myself and my submission, and even a bit in 246.  Subconsciousness of Wrong.  I only recently came across an article that has prompted me to revisit that topic

Let’s face it, when it comes to our kinks, society conditions us to feel guilt, shame, and more shame, and then more guilt mixed in with a bit more shame, all in nice big guilt wrapper with a giant shame-bow at the top.  There’s an undeniable negativity bias regarding our feelings when it comes to our kinks.

BIAS BIAS EVERYWHERE
I have always been intrigued by bias.   I believe I included this link before about the
12 Common Biases that Affect How We Make Everyday Decisions.  or perhaps the 15 Logical Fallacies You Should Know Before Getting Into a Debate.  Yeah, we all have biases and we all fall for various logical fallacies at times.  And since no one seems to teach critical thinking, society seems to be falling for more and more of these.  But Trump followers notwithstanding, “negativity bias” is especially insidious.  

“It can lead to ruminative thoughts that interfere with our productivity, and it can impact our bodies by stimulating inflammatory mechanisms that lead to chronic illness and accelerate aging.”  (That sentence sounds better when said with an English accent in my head.  Try it and I think you’ll agree). 

Sure, those aren’t my words, they are from the article.  But it’s saying, negativity bias can literally kill us.   Instead of me giving my dime-store analysis on negativity bias, I encourage you to read the article linked below.  It is absent any kink (sorry you pervs), but has real-world application to everyone, especially kinksters who may sometimes have negative thoughts about their proclivities.

I do want to add this comment though – I consider myself very self-compassionate.  Sure, I tease myself about different things.  Did you know my boobs are saggy?  Yeah, I’ve never mentioned it, except maybe once or a hundred times.  hee-hee.  Anyway, my favorite line of this article is that self-compassion spurs positive adjustment in the face of regrets.

I think my Domestic Discipline journey has been all about positive adjustments in the face of regrets.  In fact, being spanked is in many ways a positive adjustment in the face of regret.    Yeah, I just connected self-compassion with allowing my husband to spank me.  {Mic drop}.

Okay, enough from me.  I strongly encourage you to check out this article.

Next: 300. Don da da don! 300th post – and it’s Intense!

 

298. Beware I.S.D.’s – Improvised Spanking Device

298

Trying my best to shake my posting doldrums per my last post.   I thought it would be a good time to share a spanking, just in case you might wonder if I am still spanked.  Actually, that’s not why.  It’s because I know without an occasional spanking story, you spankos will leave me.  Be honest.  Yes, I am talking about you.  Although sorry if this one disappoints, not really a lot to this one. 

So I got this spanking yesterday.   Not a big deal, sort of a typical spanking.  No catharsis or anything like that.  But it was with a new implement of sorts, so I thought it blogworthy.  

Mike used the dog leash.  I was spanked because I forgot to walk the dogs – part of my scheduled routine.   In fairness, my schedule got off track because something came up and I had to run to J’s school.  I had errands to run and figured it best to just do them after I was done at the school.  Well, once the routine was all off, I was, well, out of my routine.  Thus I completely forgot to walk the dogs. 

Even worse, I forgot that I forgot.  It wasn’t until Monday when I went to walk them that it dawned on me that I didn’t walk them on Friday.   Of course, I had to inform Mike of this. 

Always looking to try and have the punishment fit the crime, he had me fetch the dog leash.  Having never used it before to spank me, he gave me three swats with it and then asked me how it felt.  “Wonderful.  Give me lots more please!”  Just kidding, I didn’t say that.   It was more like, “It’s fine, Sir, you can continue.”  (Tip: always test out improvised spanking devices least you avoid painful welts on your boobs, not that there’s anything wrong with that if that’s what you like).

I then got 15 in quick succession, no pause in between.  About halfway through I started to squeal a little, and then a little more, and a little more.  It wasn’t too loud (J was home), but reflected just how much it stung.  It was more like a whip than a spank. 

Mike then lectured me, and then said those 15 were for forgetting to walk the dogs, and I would now get more for forgetting that I forgot.  He said they would be harder than the first set, and they were.  Fortunately, he stopped at 7.  I had three or four pink stripes across my butt.

As it has been cold, it isn’t uncommon for any one or more of us to wear some clothes around the house.  Naturism be damned as sometimes you just gotta keep warm.   So J didn’t question why I was covered and had to stay covered the next day before the marks were sufficiently gone.  

So there you go, a spanking story!  And a short post from Jen!

No waxing philosophical and no ramblings about feelings of a humbling deliverance.   I shall eschew the obfuscation of a non sequitur, and minimize my predisposition for acute prolixity.  Yes, indeed.  This is the end of this spanking story.

Or maybe not.  You know, this got me thinking. . .  nah, never mind. 

Next: 299.  PSA – Stop Being so Hard on Yourself