159. Follow the Leader

Right now, in your head, think of the first three words that come to mind that describe the traits of someone who is a strong leader.   Got it?   Got all three?   Don’t read on until you have all three.  That’s only two. . . one more.   Okay, you may proceed.

Now think of the first three words that come to mind that describe the traits of someone who is a strong Dominant?   Hmm, any differences in your lists?

My guess is, unless you are into a D/s dynamic, your lists were very different, but why?  Who doesn’t like a good leader?  We praise and admire good leaders and society constantly reinforces such praise and admiration.  A Dominant?  No such praise and admiration.  We likely have a negative bias towards the word “dominant.” After all, even the word is akin to domineering – asserting one’s will over another in an arrogant way.  

From an early age we are taught that it is good and acceptable to follow leaders.  Respect our elders and authority figures like policemen and firemen.  Obey our teachers, coaches, professors, etc.  It isn’t threatening, no one feels demeaned or oppressed by this.  There are positive connotations all around.

Well, in kink, a strong Dominant is the exact same thing as a strong leader – no negative connotations should apply.  My relationship with Mike is as much Leader/Follower as it is Dominant/Submissive.  The terms are interchangeable to me.  And just like any good authority figure, with great power comes great responsibility.  I have yielded leadership power to Mike. In turn, Mike wields this power while embracing many key concepts that make this power exchange work for us.

I want to dive deeper into those concepts, which I will do on the next post. What is different is that I will not be sharing my concepts or what they mean to me.  I will be sharing Mike’s.  Yes, sort of another “interview” with Mike.   And the concepts are interchangeable whether he was describing what is important to him in being a Dominant or with being a leader:  empathy, maturity,  self-assurance, assertiveness, conscientiousness, emotional stability, and consistency.   Coming soon!

NEXT:  160. I’ll Take You to My Leader

158. Jen’s Simple Tips & my Golden Rule of Domestic Discipline

I feel I am a bit of an expert on DD, but I also know my expertise is limited to what it means for me to be submissive.  Yes, I have some insights into Kayla and Donna, but their journeys are their own, and Kayla’s is still rapidly evolving.   So, yes, I know I am no expert, but, I have learned a lot in a short amount of time.  

I enjoy reading “newbie” blogs – those who are new to DD or D/s or in exploring kink in general.  I feel compelled to impart some wisdom, perhaps to save them from struggling, feeling anguished, or giving up too soon.  However, those struggles and feelings may be necessary for growth.  Sometimes you can’t explain something away for someone — they  just have to experience it in order to truly reconcile it.   With that, what am I going to do?  Well, I am going to give my advice anyway.  

MY ADVICE TO SUBMISSIVES
Advice #1 – Take all advice with a grain of salt.  If it resonates with you, great, but if not, then just dismiss it and move on.  Your journey will be unique, because D/s or kink in general is such a diverse thing.  You may find one thing in common with another D/s relationship, but 100 things that are different.  So seek information, lots of it, but don’t try to force what you read or hear into your situation.   

Advice #2 – Recognize that being submissive is not playing or acting submissive.  It is a real mindset.  It is who you are.  Of course, unless it is not who you are and you just want to put on the submissive role when it suits you.  That’s fine too.  See, I told you, take all advice with a grain of salt.  No one will kick you out of the kink club for just using it as an occasional escape and release. 

But — and this is Advice #3, — if it is more than just play acting, then it is important to have a Dom who understands how to feed and nurture your submissive mindset.  This can be extremely difficult.  You don’t need a good Dom, you need the right Dom.  If your Dom is a newbie too, you are on the right path if your Dom is open to learning some Dom basics, and open to feeding and nurturing your mindset.

MY ADVICE TO DOMS
Although an infraction in the D/s rule book, I, a submissive, am going to give some advice to Doms.  Hey, they aren’t my Dom!  If this offends you, then just consider it my advice to submissives regarding what they should look for in a Dom.   Better?  

Advice #1:  For me the biggest thing for a Dom to learn and understand is that consistency is absolutely required.  Whatever the rules are, they need to be consistently applied.  A good submissive wants to please their Dom.  The submissive spends a lot of energy on concentrating on the rules.  The submissive makes every effort to excel at their tasks and do an excellent job everyday.  It really sucks when a Dom is nonchalant about a rule that a sub is heavily invested in and trying hard to focus on.

Advice #2:   Or perhaps it is 1a.  Whatever.   Make sure the rules you have are actually important and have meaning to the submissive.  Of course, the caveat to that is you may have a sub who enjoys random rules that only serve the purpose of displaying the control you have over them.  If that’s the case, fine.  Again, grain of salt.

But for me, especially early on, it was extremely important that every rule had a special meaning to me, the submissive.  Every rule was tied to addressing a behavior that I wanted to adopt, change, improve, or eliminate.   It wasn’t until later that one of the behaviors I wanted to adopt was serving Mike in the manner he wanted to be served, independent of whether it addressed a behavior I wanted to address.  I guess the better way to put that is that the behavior I wanted to address was behaving more submissively to Mike’s will.  But I had to evolve to that.  My DD would not have lasted long if Mike had imposed the things in the beginning that he imposes now.  I would have dropped DD in a heartbeat.

And if my DD never evolved past the more selfish form that was all about me and my needs, that’s okay, as long as it continued to satisfy both me and Mike.   So again, no right or wrong way to kink, as long as you are getting the satisfaction you seek. 

MY GOLDEN RULE OF DD – ADVICE TO BOTH DOMS AND SUBS
Make sure both of you recognize the effort and performance of the other.  

• For the Dom, it means giving praise.  
• For the Sub, it means giving thanks. 

When a Dom praises the sub it helps reinforce the importance of the task.  It shows it is important to the Dom, thus is becomes even more important to the sub.  It shows it has meaning to the Dom, which gives it an even deeper meaning to the sub.  Thus, it feeds the submissive nature of the sub.

When a sub thanks the Dom, it helps reinforce consistency in applying the rules.  This can be especially important for a new Dom who doesn’t want to come across as a hard ass or mean-spirited.  The Dom needs to know the sub appreciates the discipline that was administered, as it shows the discipline had meaning to the sub, which gives it an even deeper meaning to the Dom. Thus, it feeds the dominant nature of the Dom.

This giving praise/giving thanks is always important, but even more so early on when both people are new to their roles, still finding themselves, and trying to understand the needs of the other.  Giving praise/giving thanks help address the insecurities and even embarrassment that both Dom and sub are likely to have when first starting out.  Being successful with your kink requires you to be vulnerable.  Praise and thanks go a long way to build confidence to be vulnerable to your partner(s).  

That’s it.  Those are my top tips!   Happy kink!

NEXT: 159. Follow the Leader

157. A Severe Punishment for Two

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared a punishment story, so as promised in my last post, here you go!

This one is about Kayla (well not entirely as you will find out).  I know as per Post 148, that Mike decreed that I was to no longer punish Kayla.  Well, that lasted about six weeks, but perhaps may last longer next time.   

THE TRANSGRESSION
Our son was visiting his cousins, Mike was out running errands, and Kayla and I were at Donna’s, just hanging out.  Donna was sharing some of the things that John does to help around the house, “just because he wants to”, and of course Kayla was quick to brag on Mike.  She proudly explained that Mike doesn’t have to do any chores, but he will occasionally empty the dishwasher or sweep the floor.  Kayla then added, “and I know when Mike empties the dishwasher because he has a bad habit of leaving every cupboard and drawer open.”

My jaw dropped.  You see, one of Kayla’s Acts of Service is to always talk complimentary of Mike to others – never criticize him in front of others.  Kayla’s excuse was, “It’s just Donna.”  I didn’t accept that.  This was not in keeping with a submissive mindset and is something she not only agreed to adhere to, but it was her idea to do so.  As such, she should know better and her flippant retort made it worse.   

I felt that Mike would want to immediately address this.  I sent him a short text and he called me.  I put Kayla on the phone and had her explain it.  That alone made her cry.   Mike then put me back on the phone.  I  asked him that if he felt this should be quickly dealt with that I was willing to handle it.  He paused and then said he didn’t want me to do anything if I felt it would “interfere with my peace.”  I told him it would not, so long as I knew this is what he wanted.  He then said yes, he wanted me to spank her a “sufficient” number of times and then Kayla should be “soaped” until he got home.  

JEN SPANKS KAYLA
I borrowed a paddle from Donna and spanked Kayla right there in front of Donna.  And to be honest, I spanked her really hard.  She was crying, as she is apt to do from a spanking.  She’s always been a crier, and while she doesn’t cry as much or as loudly as she used to, she was crying pretty good with this spanking.  I then sent her home and told her to start writing lines until I got there.  “I will always speak positively of Sir in front of others.”

JEN SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
I waited about twenty minutes and then left Donna’s and returned home.  I was shocked again to find her writing her lines but fully clothed.  It is a long established rule that we disrobe when we enter the house if there are no kids expected.  I guess I was on a roll as I had her disrobe and spanked her again.  Again, very hard, and again, she cried.

SOAPING
I led her to the bathroom, got the soap, and lathered up her tongue and mouth and then had her bite down on the bar and hold it in her mouth.  I told her to kneel in the corner and stay there until Mike got home.  

Mike came home about forty minutes later.  That’s a long time to hold soap in your mouth.  He talked to me about what happened and got an update.  He then waited.  He knew Kayla heard him come home, but he didn’t immediately attend to her.  He waiting another fifteen minutes, so in total, it was an hour in the corner with soap in her mouth. He told me to stay out of the room but to come in after fifteen minutes. 

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA
I didn’t witness it but Mike spanked her for almost all that fifteen minutes before I came into the room.  Kayla was sobbing and a drooling soapy mess as she still had the soap in her mouth as I walked in and Mike continued spanking her.  I assumed my spanking her would be it, but clearly, it was not.  I felt bad because I really spanked her hard and would have probably gone a little easier had I known Mike would spank her again.

Mike then told Kayla to finish writing lines until she got to 100.  As she sat down to write, Mike then turned to me and said, “We have another issue to address.”

MIKE SPANKS JEN
Mike said that he wasn’t happy that I spanked Kayla for not undressing when she entered the house.  He said I should have reported this to him first before taking any action.  He reminded me that since our “therapy session” I’ve actually achieved the mindset I was looking for (as shared on my prior post as well as two posts ago.   Now I put that at risk by spanking Kayla without his permission.   

So he spanked me using a thin bamboo paddle.  He said it would be one spanking for each line Kayla had to write.  100!  He stopped at 90 and had Kayla administer the last 10. He told her that if the swats were not to his liking that she would be in for 100 more.  Kayla didn’t disappoint!  Ouch!  He then had Kayla give me a half-dozen swats on each palm with a ruler.  He told me perhaps I’d think of this the next time I feel compelled to raise a hand to Kayla’s ass without his permission.  He then had me stand in the corner until Kayla finished her lines.  

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
He wasn’t quite done with Kayla’s punishment.  As part of our writing lines punishments, we may have to write additional lines and/or get spankings for any mistakes or sloppiness in the lines we wrote.  Mike found a few lines that were not to his liking, and spanked Kayla again.   In all, the spankings she got over the prior two hours were probably the hardest spankings she had received in a long time, and there were a lot of them.  So we were in the same boat.  Very sore and red asses!  In fact, my redness was colored with several purples splotches.  

AFTER CARE
We then had a collective After Care with Mike.  He had Kayla apologize to me for behaving in such a way that required immediate action on my part.  And I apologized to her for spanking her without Mike’s permission.  And that was that, all was forgiven.

POST SCRIPT
So what did I feel about what happened?  Nothing out of the ordinary, just a sore bum!    That’s just the life of a submissive.  I feel Mike acted totally appropriately as clearly both Kayla and I misbehaved.   

Ha, I find it funny that I am okay using the word “behave.”  I would have previously written something like, “…both Kayla and I failed to adhere to our commitments.”    I would have felt “behave” was juvenile or demeaning in some way.   Not anymore.  It is an appropriate word because submission is all about my behaviors, so when I submit according to my commitment, I am behaving.   Simple as that.   I think my finding comfort in some of the vocabulary terms that I previously hated is another sign of my progression with a submissive mindset.    

Just another example of how words are power, which makes our upcoming contract renegotiation interesting – but that’s for another post.  

I marvel in reflection at how definitive our “closing ceremony” is regarding a punishment.  No matter how intense the punishment, how emotional either I or Kayla gets, or whatever the circumstances are, when it is over, it is over.  All is truly forgiven and no one dwells on it.  

That was evidenced by how Kayla reacted afterwards.  She looked at me a bit later and said with a wry smile, “Man, I won’t do that again.”  To which I replied as I hugged her, “That makes two of us.”  We never talked of it again as there is simply no need.    

NEXT:  158. Jen’s Simple Tips and my Golden Rule of Domestic Discipline

 

156. A Quiet Mind

In two months our Contract is up for renegotiation and will mark two and half years of Domestic Discipline.   As I start to think about the changes I want in the contract, it makes me reflect on my journey thus far.   I haven’t had a good esoteric ramble in a while.  Not sure this will qualify, but here it goes. 

MY MIND IS QUIET
I haven’t posted much lately (although, hey, this makes three in two days!).  While true it was due in part to our summer household schedule, I believe a lot of it also has to do with the fact my mind is quiet.  I read through my prior posts and at times I can see where I was struggling to reconcile my need for submission with the way I was raised.  As I made breakthroughs towards that reconciliation, I posted.  As I did something that surprised me, I posted.  As I learned something about myself, I posted.  As I became more and more confident in my submission, I posted.  

Now, I feel reconciled.  As I shared in Post 154, I feel triumphant.

It seems that it just suddenly happened.  Less than two months ago I felt I was struggling, and now, nothing.  No struggle.  It’s easy.  I could say it was like a switch went off, but really it is more like how you fall a tree.  We credit the last swing and suddenly it falls, but the last swing was no more important than the first.  Each post was like a swing, and now here I am, elated and content with my level of submission to my husband.  

I also recognize something in my older posts – insecurity.  I was insecure, unsure of myself, uncertain I could fully realize my hopes in my role and purpose in my family.  That insecurity was due in part to having some unrealistic expectations of this unattainable Utopian ideal in my head.  When I finally shed myself of the expectation of perfection in submissiveness, I suddenly found the perfect level of submission for me.  

CONTENTMENT AND CONFIDENCE
Not to say this is some final destination.  Needs can ebb and flow.  Mike’s needs, my families needs, and my needs, are not a constant.  Learning and evolving in life never ends.  I now face that learning with a level of combined contentment and confidence that I’ve never had before.

I am not stating that I am a perfect submissive.  I do make mistakes and I do get spanked.  It’s not about achieving a level of perfection.  It’s about achieving a level of contentment and confidence.  A mistake is not a failure, it is just an acknowledgement that I can always serve Mike better and with even greater consistency.  It’s like when you trip over something.  You don’t give up walking.  You just get up and get back at it.  

As I read through my older posts, and read blogs from those who are new to DD, I think about what words of wisdom I would want to share with my past self and the current newbies.   I think it is simply that you have to find your own way.  This is such a wonderful but strange and complicated dynamic that there is no secret formula.  But my formula was simply not to be afraid to make myself completely vulnerable to Mike, both emotionally and physically.  And above all, communicate, communicate, communicate.  And communicate isn’t just talking, it is listening.  And communicating is not just exchanging dialogue.  It is exchanging emotions, desires, and fears — that required vulnerability from both me and Mike.   

I’ve been fortunate to have a great partner in Mike.  He deserves more credit than I could possibly articulate, so I won’t even attempt it.  It would fall short of properly conveying all that he has done and what he means to me.  

So now I have to start thinking about what a new Contract should look like.  I still like the idea of a written contract as it serves as our testament to what DD means to us and what we mean to each other.   We could simply renew the old one, but that would fail to recognize the many changes in our dynamic and would be the easy way out.  No, we need to codify our progress, our continued hopes and desires, and maintain some guard rails towards the road ahead.  A road filled with even more discovery and adventure.  This time the traveler on that road is no longer yearning for discovery and adventure.  Instead, she is just enjoying it as it comes and appreciating every bit of it.     

WHERE’S THE SPANK?
Okay, enough of this fluff.  You want a severe spanking story?  Perhaps read about a good mouth soaping incident?  Or exactly what has Mike been doing with the enema kit?   And what’s up with John and Donna?   You know you want to read about it!   Maybe next time you pervs!    

NEXT: 157. A SEVERE PUNISHMENT FOR TWO

155. Kayla Update: Acts of Service, Rituals, and more.

I added a post script to Post 153. Kayla the Master, that you may have missed.  I realized that Kayla was going through a Sub-frenzy.  Even before this frenzy, she was already more submissive to Mike than I am.  From the beginning she was into having more rituals and performing more acts of service compared to me.  The Immersion unleashed this frenzy that has taken those things to a greater extreme.  I’ll get back to that in a moment. 

She starts grad school August 22.  It will be an adjustment for all of us as we are all so accustomed to her being around the house almost all the time.  It will also be a big adjustment for her to be away so much during the day.  She is a bit worried that she can stay focused on school and on her submission.  She is an excellent student and has our complete support.  To help her with that balance, Mike has made it clear she would be punished if she was not focusing on school.  Not that she needs that motivation as she will likely get all A’s anyway, but, she liked the idea of making doing well in school yet another act of submission.

KAYLA NEEDING MORE
In response to Kayla’s desire for more structure, more discipline, and more submission, she needed and wanted to be subject to many more rituals and acts of service.  The three of us talked about this and did some web browsing to get ideas, many of which were implemented.     

Before I share with you the many rituals and acts of service that Kayla has to follow, it is important to share what these things mean to us and especially to Kayla.  Kayla was clear that these activities are about being Mike’s subject, not his object.  It’s easy to get those confused, but to us, a subject is the doer – the initiator, the giver.  An object is a thing being observed or used without regard.

ACTS OF SERVICE
For Kayla, these acts are important ways for her to go out of her way to show her love for Mike and that she is thinking of him.  There are subtle acts, such as physical touching whenever speaking to him, as well as a litany of overt services.  I probably am missing some, but this should give you a good idea:

• Maintaining his car.  She cleans it every day, makes sure the gas is above half a tank, she takes care of oil changes, inspection/registration etc.  
• She cleans his office every day
• She is always prepared when we go out.  She has all sorts of “just in case he needs them” things in her purse.  Hand lotion, glasses cleaner, moist towelettes, shoelaces, toothpicks, band aides, etc.  
• She runs errands such as getting gifts on his behalf for upcoming family birthdays such as siblings, nieces, nephews. 
• Offers back rubs, neck/shoulder massage
• Warms a towel in the dryer whenever he gets into the shower and has it ready for him when he gets out.  She also drys him.
• Meticulously folds his clothes and irons everything, lays out clothes for him to wear.
• Gives him a manicure and/or pedicure
• There’s a variety of sexual and kink related acts of service as well.  

I am subject to all of these, although we have developed a few different sex/kink related acts that are unique to me or unique to Kayla.   But Kayla is the Energizer Bunny when it comes to the acts and thus more often than not she performs most of them.  That’s fine by me!  Of course, I step in if there are things going on where Kayla is not available to do those things.  With school starting, I suspect I will be responsible for completing more acts of service.    

RITUALS
This is where Kayla and I differ greatly.  I don’t do much of this.  It just isn’t where I get fulfillment and more importantly, Mike hasn’t asked these things of me.  By the way, I would certainly do them if he required me to. 

Ritual wise, she does a nightly weigh-in and inspection with Mike.  During this she recites what she did for him that day and she always provides him words of affirmation regarding how she believes in him and loves him.  They have this whole mantra or dialogue they do.  Kayla wrote it out as a script and memorized it.

I won’t share the details but basically it is a series of questions that Mike asks her and she gives the scripted answer, verbatim, else she is spanked.  It starts with Mike asking, “Who loves you?” and Kayla responding, “You do, sir.”  It goes on with Mike asking why, how is that love shown, etc.   Kayla responds to each question, some of them quite lengthy scripted responses she must correctly recite.  It also includes her saying a lot of self affirmations as well.   It’s cute and touching, and I enjoy listening to it each night as it always puts a smile on my face.

Oh, I want to mention that the weigh-in thing is Kayla’s idea.  Mike does not get on her about her weight.  That is 100% Kayla self imposing this ritual.  There is no “fat shaming” that goes on.  For one, she isn’t fat, in fact, she is in great shape and even more amazing shape since coming to live with us.  Kayla chooses to be accountable to Mike regarding her figure.  Mike is always very complimentary of her and there is no punishments if the scale ticks up.  

CUES
Mike and Kayla have developed many gestures or cues, to communicate with each other.  For instance, if he snaps his fingers she is to immediately drop to her knees and take a submissive pose.  If he winks at her, she is to flirt with whomever is with us.  A short wave of his finger means she is to go to her room and await a spanking.  There are many other gestures as well.  I can’t keep up.   Kayla wrote them all down and even Mike forgets them sometimes.  

For Kayla, these things give her a heighten focus and attention, at least until they become second nature to her.   She then adds a few more, repeats the heighten focus and attention, and again, those too eventually become second nature.  Repeat.

It’s a very eloquent thing to watch.  The simple interaction, that pinpoint gesture where her servitude is displayed in an instant.  It fulfills her to learn these things and to adhere to these things.  I get a sense of submissive fulfillment just watching her.

POSES
There are a variety of submissive poses.  Just Google it and you’ll see many types of poses for submissives and slaves.   Mike and Kayla have combined the cues with various poses such that a “double snap” means a specific pose, different than the single snap of the fingers.  Or if he holds up his hand as if to motion “Halt,” then it is yet a different pose.  
There’s a couple of kneeling poses, an attention pose, an inspection pose, a presentation pose, a sex doll pose, and others.  I can’t keep up.  That’s Mike and Kayla’s thing.  But again, I enjoy watching her react when he gestures her to take a pose. 

So, that’s an update on Kayla’s submission.  As I stated in my last post, my submission is on a pretty even keel.  Nothing has really changed, except my contentment.  Things are in a great rhythm and I am enjoying serving Mike, enjoying Kayla being part of our “love circle,” and just overall enjoying life!  

NEXT:  156. A QUIET MIND

154. Riding the Wave

I haven’t been posting much, partly due to the summer always being a busy time.  School starts soon and I expect I’ll be back to posting more regularly.  In addition to summer being busy, things just haven’t been all that noteworthy on the DD front.

RIDING THE POSITIVITY WAVE
I’ve been on a very positive-vibe “wave” ever since we started our Mini-Maintenance Thursdays about two months ago.  Those sessions helped me achieve the greater submissive mindset I wanted.  As shared in that post, I had this yearning to not just act submissively, but to think more submissively and rid myself of non-submissive impulses.

It was not going well until Mike came up with those mini-maintenance sessions that serve as a sort of confessional for me.  Those sessions relieved the pressure and sense of failure I was having whenever I had a non-submissive thought.  These weekly sessions provide accountability in a format that is more a celebration of my progress than it is a condemnation of the failures.  Well, to the extent a pretty hard spanking is a celebration — but it is!   It has been just the thing to help me.

TRIUMPHANT
I am feeling very triumphant right now.  I love being submissive.  Being a sub removes all the complexities of life and gives me one singular focus.  A focus on losing myself, to regain and reclaim myself so I can live and love life to the fullest.  In looking back at what prompted me to take this journey I can say, “Mission Accomplished.”  Or more appropriately,  SUBmission Accomplished! 

I am not so naive that I believe this wave is constant.  It will ebb and flow and I am sure there will be some surprises and down moments, because, well, that’s life!  Whether you live a DD lifestyle or not, life still happens.  There will be ups and down, but mostly ups! And I am certainly enjoying this particular crest and hope to ride it as long as possible.

So, since not much going on with me, I’ll give an update on Kayla, with her permission of course.  I’ll think I’ll keep this post short, and give you that update on the next one.  

NEXT:  155.  KAYLA UPDATE: ACTS OF SERVICE, RITUALS, AND MORE 

 

153. Kayla the Master

WHAT’S UP??
Three weeks without a post is a record for me.  I just haven’t felt the motivation to post. 
It is a combination of things being in a very smooth groove with no surprises.  No new insights, no new anything.   I am not complaining.  It’s been a nice respite from what seems like two plus years of ever evolving self discovery.

Part of the lull is that it is summer and our son is home from school and our middle son, who is in college, is in and out at unpredictable times.  Much of our TTWD is relegated to the evenings, behind closed doors, or occasional trips to John and Donna’s for added privacy when needed.  

FOCUS ON KAYLA
Over the last three weeks most of the focus on TTWD has been on Kayla.  She had an amazing experience with the Immersion, and really discovered some fetishes that she enjoys.  She likes to play “little girl,” to the extent of wearing a diaper, but not all the time.  She also likes serving Mike in more intense and continual ways.   She has always served him, but lately she is always at the ready to do any and everything for him.  She likes to bathe him, shave him (mostly his face, but not always, hee hee), and well, be his receptacle in ways you can surly imagine. 

She is extremely focused on anticipating his needs and moves in a flash when he expresses any need.  I imagine if I didn’t know the situation as I do, that I would think she was under Mike’s spell.  

I’ve talked to her about this.  I assume there is a threshold where perhaps this can be unhealthy.   I don’t know what the threshold is, and she certainty hasn’t crossed it, but it’s out there somewhere.  She functions fine when he is not around, and she hasn’t allowed anything harmful to happen to her (not that I think Mike would harm her).   My concern is that the trust she puts in Mike, although well deserved and earned, may lead her to believe she can place this type of trust in other men in the future.   She very well may be able to do that, but she needs to keep her senses and sense of self.  

When I talk to her about this she admits she thrives on losing herself to Mike.  She reiterated her “Manifesto” to me.  She admits she has no sense of self, only a sense of him.  She recognizes our situation is unique and feels this is a safe and nurturing environment and she would “snap out of it” if she ever felt otherwise.   She says it is that sense of safety and sense of nurturing that allows her to lose herself.  Otherwise, she wouldn’t do it.  So, that’s that.

NOT WANTING
In some ways I’ve had fewer “submissive” needs over the last several weeks.  I’ve had some spankings and other punishments, but nothing out of the ordinary – and I am not left wanting.   My “balance” has allowed me to focus more on Kayla, to talk with her and guide her, and to be a sufficient proxy when Mike is not around.  I haven’t always been in a mood for that, but lately, it’s just seems very natural and easy for me.

Not wanting.  That really sums up my feelings lately.  I am happy with where things are we me, with Mike, with our household.  And when things are going well it makes it easy to give your energy to others.  Lately, that energy has been on Kayla.  I am happy for her and happy that I am able to give her that.    

KAYLA THE MASTER?
She starts school soon.  That will be an interesting transition.  She has spent so much of the last seven months with us old folks.  The return to the environment, routines, and demands of school may be a shock to her system.

Oh, and Kayla is starting a Masters program.  We joke whether or not it is appropriate for a submissive to get their Masters?!   Of course we are kidding, as a sub can be as educated as they wish to be, it’s just, do they have to call it a Masters?

ADDENDUM: It dawned on me after posting this, that Kayla is showing all the signs and symptoms of Sub Frenzy!  Can’t believe I didn’t recognize that sooner.  Ah, to be in frenzy!! 

NEXT: 154. RIDING THE WAVE