Tag Archives: submissive wife

150. Entering the Forbidden Zone

150

Welcome to my 150th post!

Immersion 2017 is here. . . starting tomorrow to be exact.  (See prior posts re Post 141. Master/slave Immersion 2.0).

KID FREE
J is heading to my parents for a week leaving us child-free and carefree, with one hitch.  Our middle son T2 called to say he would be coming home for a few weeks.  He is away at college and will take some summer courses but has a gap with some free time so he decided to spend it at home.  How inconsiderate!  Doesn’t he know we need to get our kink on! 

The good news is we still have several days at home that will be kid free, and the better news is that Mike was able to quickly find us a getaway for the other days.  He rented a cabin in the Texas hill country.  It is on something like 15 or 20 acres so is secluded enough that we will be far from prying eyes.  I am very excited about this as it is really our first “vacation” with just the three of us.  The secluded nature of it presents new possibilities for kink exploring.

NEW ENERGY!
I am going into this “immersion” invigorated and excited.  Mike’s handling of what I shared on Post 148. Dom/sub Therapy Session really got me out of my self pity-spiral. Intuitively I always knew that it was detrimental to hold myself to some elusive ideal of the perfect submissive – submissive in all thought and action.   I never intended to strive for perfection.  I just wanted and still want to be “more” submissive.  But my inability to achieve progress that was satisfactory to me turned it into a burden that sent me down emotionally.  I already feel that burdened has lifted.  

Always the cunning linguist, Mike made it clear that from now on my progress as a submissive is at his “pleasure and measure” and he is extremely happy with my submission.  It would have been very un-submissive of me to not accept his “pleasure and measure” proclamation.  By accepting what he was saying, not only did it mean I was thinking submissively, but by giving up my unrealistic ideal and subjecting myself only to Mike’s ideal, it meant all the burden was lifted.  Voila!  My pity party was immediately over!  Mike’s a genius!

I do seek to think more submissively, but I have no arbitrary timeline in my mind or set definition of what that actually means.  I simply continue to be more submissive to the degree it suits Mike.  Odd, but giving up such control should be scary – for instance, what if Mike was more demanding of me than I was to myself?  It seems like that my desire to please him would create more pressure than the desire to please myself.  But, it was just the opposite for me.  I don’t know why that is.  I guess I trust Mike so much and perhaps know that my expectations of myself can often be unrealistic, but Mike’s expectations of me never are.  It’s odd, but in order to achieve the level of submission I want for myself, I had to stop wanting it for myself and instead want it for Mike.

ENTERING THE FORBIDDEN ZONE
On top of this much improved emotional state is the fact I have been looking forward to our Immersion for some time.  Last year was intense, and I was so glad when it was over, but I look forward to doing it again.  I like that we have set aside some time to throw out our routine and experiment with some crazier kink.   It’s like going into the laboratory and just mixing up stuff to see what you get.  We have given ourselves permission to try things we wouldn’t normally want to try, explore new sensations and experiences, all for the sake of experiment.   It helps us all identify and separate what is pleasurable versus tolerable, or what is tolerable versus what is intolerable.  

Mike thought it would be good if we had a slogan for our Immersion each year.  Sort of way to “market” to ourselves a particular theme or idea.  We threw around some ideas and Mike picked one of mine as our slogan — Entering the Forbidden Zone!  

Here’s a preview:   

PUPPY
Day 1 is my “puppy” day where basically I am treated like a dog.  Eat (human food) and drink water from bowls, sleep on the floor, and use a litter box.  Okay, that last one would make me a cat, not a dog, but just go with it.   Mike engineered a human sized litter box.  And yes, it is for both peeing and pooping.  The added twist is that Kayla will address hygiene issues for “cleaning the dog.”   Ugh, similar to last years “activities of daily living.”   I’ll be bathed and groomed.  Mike had me not shave my legs, pits, or pubes for the last week or so.  Mike and Kayla will “groom” me.   I also can not speak and must get around on all fours and stay off furniture.   It also comes complete with leash and collar.

The odd thing is that none of us have a Pet Play fetish.  It reinforces an owner/owned dependency and Mike just thought it would be entertaining for all and challenging for me.  Not something I would have chosen, but I am game!

BABY GIRL
On Day 2 my pet play is over and it is Kayla’s turn.  She will be diapered and treated like a baby.  She too can only crawl, and has to be helped with bathing, dressing, and eating.  She can not use the toilet because, well, she’s a baby!  That’s what the diapers are for.  She also can’t talk – just whine or cry when she needs something.   This experiment comes complete with pacifier, bottle feedings, and a make-shift high chair.

SHIBARI SENSATION DAY
No, Shibari Sensation is not the stage name for a Japanese stripper, but you have to admit, it would be a good one.  Anyway, Mike said Day 3 will be focused on experiencing as many different sensations as possible.  He said, “It will involve some ice, some food, the wand, lots of clothes pins, some bengay, and a surprise.”  He also has purchased some more rope for bondage play and has “some hogties and various other tied up positions” he wants to try.  And he added, “and of course, this includes spanking and flogging and more!”   Oh my!

Country Time
Once at our secluded get-away, Mike said to expect a lot of nakedness, both inside the cabin and out.  The way he put it was, “Expect a lot of open air high-jinks.”   I hope this comes complete with plenty of mosquito repellent!

Mike also said there would be other things in store for us that we would learn about when the time comes.   Oh that creative man! 

 

 

  

 

143. My Evolving Submission

evolve

COMMENT TO A BLOG COMMENT
Something interesting (to me anyway) happened.  Mike was looking at my blog on my phone, reading some of the comments and said, “Hey, I am going to respond to this comment as if you are responding.”  He then proceeded to type away.

To acknowledge his statement I responded with a nonchalant, “Okay, Sir,”

He then said, “Aren’t you wondering what the comment was or what I am writing?”

“Sure, Sir, I am curious, but I am sure I will read it in due time.”

“Wait,” he said, “you aren’t burning to know right now what it’s about?”

“No, Sir.  I am not.”

He seemed shocked.  “So, you aren’t dying to know what I am stating.  You know they are going to think it is you that is replying?  That doesn’t concern you?”

“Sir, I would never lie about such things.  I am not dying to know.  I trust whatever you are writing is something you believe is appropriate.  That’s good enough for me.”

Mike continued in amazement, “Jen, come on now, this blog is your little baby and I am messing with it.  What if I am saying something you don’t like.”

“Sir…Mike, I am fine with anything you decide to write.  Whatever it is, it represents what you want my response to say and therefore I accept it as my own.  I will read it in due course, no hurry.” (I have a habit of using his name when I am dead serious about something.  I still use “Sir,” but will throw in his name as well).

Mike continued to question me as if he didn’t believe me.  Well, not “as if” he didn’t believe me.  It was clear, he didn’t actually believe me.

“Mike! I am serious and also saddened that you aren’t believing me…Sir.  I truly do not care that you responded on my behalf and I am 100% fine with whatever you chose to write.  I accept it as my own even without knowing what is says, because I know it says what you want it to say.  That’s good enough for me.”

Mike was a bit dumbfounded and said, “I am sorry that I inferred you weren’t being honest about your feelings.  It just surprised me that you didn’t feel the least bit violated that I was treading on your blog turf.”

“Sir, I don’t believe I can ever interpret anything you do as an imposition or as violating me in some way.   I trust you explicitly and without question, especially when it comes to any decision you make on my behalf.”

Mike was in awe and immediately had to hug me.  He said he always tries to wield his Dominance in a way that builds trust and was worried a bit about the recent punishment regarding the blender I didn’t buy.  He was concerned that maybe it went too far as it didn’t recognize the progress I’ve made in controlling my purchasing habits.  He then told me that ultimately he felt that particular punishment was in order as this was just too serious of a subject and I needed to not only keep my actions in check, but also my thoughts.  

I told Mike I appreciated that punishment and never expect him to have to justify a punishment.  If I feel confused or unsure about the motives or purpose, I will bring it up at a Maintenance Session, and frankly, I was neither confused nor unsure about the purpose of that punishment.

FREE MYSELF FROM INTENTION
I did admit that more than likely, if he made that blog comment on my behalf before the last punishment, I probably would have been like, “Noooo!”  Or, “Please tell me what you’re writing.”  But, the last punishment reinforced to me that consistently meeting my Duties and Obligations is not just about my actions, but also about my thoughts.  While not every thought leads to an action, every action starts as a thought.  Given my history with reckless buying habits, I need to free myself of the impulses and of the thoughts – not just try to suppress those impulses.  It is very much about freeing myself of my intentions, as I wrote about in Post 30. I found my thrill.

I told him that last punishment had me reflecting on my submission and on his dominance.  I finally fully understood the power of freeing myself from my intentions (per Post 30).  I  told him he has done everything to deserve my complete trust, my complete surrender.  While I’ve been very submissive, I haven’t fully submitted in my thoughts.  That’s something I want to work on.  

I realize a lot of it is around letting go of petty issues and yes, letting go of some old baggage I still carry regarding my disdain for misogyny.  I want to focus only on what is most important.  Our DD has evolved such that what is most important has changed.  It is still important to me to meet my Duties and Obligations, but of greater importance is simply my submission to him.  Thus, when he said he was going to respond to the comment on my behalf, I truly had no concerns or hesitations.  Nothing but trust that his comment was to his liking, and as a result, would be to mine as well.  In fact, I am glad he showed interest in whatever comment he felt he needed to respond to.

This marks another evolution of my DD, which is really D/s more than “just” DD.  I now look at Mike as my leader and the leader of our household, not just the executive in charge of administering the DD that I prescribed.   I love when Mike tells me what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.  I love cherishing and serving him, and I love that he cherishes and loves my servitude.

It sounds so misogynistic to state that.  But as I stated before, I don’t advocate this lifestyle for women, no more than I would for sub men.  Submissiveness is gender-neutral to me.  It just so happens I am a woman and it works for me.  Life would suck if my submission was a societal expectation.  I want women to lead in business, government, and in households.  But such leadership is not for me.

WHAT WAS THE COMMENT?
Oh –
the comment was on 141. Master/slave Immersion 2.0, from lurvspanking who questioned Kayla’s preparedness for multiple sexual partners at one time.  Mike’s comment was simply to state the topic is still in discussion and proceeding with caution. He ended it with, “It may not happen.”   His point being that we are well aware that reality may not live up to fantasy, and even if it does, it may not be best for Kayla right now.  Although he didn’t state it, because he was responding as me, it is going to be his decision and he is not yet convinced it should happen.

So, there you have it.  More evidence of my ever evolving submission. 

NEXT: 144.  To ‘Sir’ or not to ‘Sir’, that is the question. . . 

128. Transforming through Journaling

Transformj

Oh Joy!  I mentioned in my last post that our DD contract is not up for another year. Actually, it renews in October of this year.  I forgot that while we started this in March of 2015, we renegotiated in October 2015 with a two-year term!   Of course, the contract is just symbolic, but it is a power symbol.  Codifying your expectations for yourself and for your partner is such a beneficial exercise.  I would encourage every couple to do it and if DD is not your thing, instead of a DD contract, approach it as a document that serves as an affirmation of your love.  It is like wedding vows that you renew from time to time. 

This post – Journaling and a “caught naked” story:

JOURNALING
Daily journaling is one of the duties I adopted in our DD.  This is another thing that is so simple for anyone to do, whether or not it is part of your kink.  I am a very self-reflective person by nature, but I found the act of journaling is very powerful.  It can be meditative, healing, and uplifting to formally set aside time every day to be self reflective and do so in writing.  

Journaling also allows you to go back and read what your thoughts were in a particular moment.   I find a lot of personal growth in looking back on my feelings and actions of a particular moment with the benefit of 20-20 hindsight that is absent the emotional baggage that I was carrying in that moment.  This clearer vision allows me to see that moment with greater perspective, allowing me to better recognize how I may have contributed to anything negative that came from that moment.  Whether that negativity was in the form of how I behaved or simply how I felt.   Journaling is very powerful.

Recently I was flipping through my journals (I have filled several over the last 2+ years) and I noticed a common theme in my early journals that slowly faded over time and is absent from anything I journaled recently.  There was this self-doubt that at some times was blatant and other times was thinly disguised in such a way I only recognize it now with the benefit of hindsight.  I have sensed that my DD journey has helped me in removing self doubt, but it is interesting and fulfilling to see documented proof of that progress.

There are things I wrote that dealt with what I was feeling about a particular issue that, when looking at it now I can no longer relate to that feeling.  I want to go back and tell that Jenny that there was no reason to feel that way.  Of course, that Jenny wouldn’t listen because, while you can provide hope and encouragement, you can’t “tell” someone out of a feeling.  Reading my older journals just reinforces my belief that life is never about what happens to you, it is about how you react to what happens to you.   Not that it is easy to always react in ways that are self affirming and loving towards others, but clearly, I can see that I wasted a lot of energy on self loathing and being overly critical of myself.  

I believe that this led to my ability to feel compersion and to lose my tendency to let jealously come in. (Post 87. And there it was,  Post 88 Something True,  and Post 89. Spank Jealousy Away). I am more self-confident in who I am as a wife, mother, lover, sister, etc.   It is odd that subjugation, which some would describe as becoming “less than,” is actually a path towards being “more than” you once were.  Definitely a psychological conundrum, but I don’t care what the reasons, I only care of the results, and they have been amazing.

And Kayla says it is the same for her, and I am seeing proof of that every day, both in what I observe and in the comments of others.  She has grown tremendously in self-confidence.  It isn’t that she lacks any self doubts, but she looks at those doubts as opportunities to grow instead of a weight that keeps her down.  Her friends have asked her where the “wallflower Kayla” has gone as Kayla is more outgoing and simply more in the moment than ever before.  Her parents have seen the transformation as well – they attribute it her spreading her wings and being more independent, which is technically accurate.  Of course her physical transformation with the shaved head and eyebrows was a shocker to friends and family, but she explained it as simply wanting to physically transform and start anew to match the transformation and newness she felt on the inside.

Hate to break the flow of my “self-reflective” theme of this post, but that leads me to a funny story I’ve got to share that sort of illustrates this.  It also prompted us to be a bit more careful about privacy.

CAUGHT NAKED
My middle son, T,  is away at college and is far enough away that trips home are rare, but close enough that they are not too challenging (several hours drive).  He has always had the habit of letting us know when he was coming home.

One Friday afternoon about two weeks ago (prior to Kayla’s immersion) Kayla was home alone when I was out running errands, J was still at school, and Mike was at work.  Being naked is our default attire and Kayla and I don’t get dressed until it is time for me to pick up J from school.  Well, Kayla was in the kitchen when suddenly T and a friend of his appeared from nowhere.  Kayla didn’t hear them pull up and of course T just lets himself in.

I can imagine the shock on T and his friends face, as well as what went through Kayla’s mind, but she handled it beautifully.   She acted like she would have acted had she been clothed.  A simple, “Oh hello, T, surprised to see you.  Who is your friend?”  Of course the first thing T said was, “You’re naked!” Kayla calmly said, “Yeah, you caught me.  I was getting ready to jump in the shower and I left my phone somewhere and wanted to have it near me as I am expecting a call, so I came out to look for it.”   

She also had enough composure to consider the fact she was uncertain of the condition of her bottom.  Kayla tends to recover fast from a spanking but she had got a caning that morning and the stripes tend to take a while to fade.  She quickly thought of a way to handle this.  “So guys, I am sure you’ve seen boobies before.  Take a good look.” And she stood in front of them like a criminal with their hands up and legs apart.  Then she said, “Now that you’ve had your look, if you’ll be gentleman, please turn your backs as I leave the room to get to my shower.  They complied and she left the room.

The “old” Kayla could have never pulled that off.  The immediate reaction would have been embarrassment and an attempt to cover herself as quickly as possible.  

One other little factoid – as a family we tend to talk about things that happen (non kink of course) and this incident was no secret.  Even J got to hear the story of “T and his friend seeing Kayla naked.”    

Turned out T’s friend needed to get home for some reason and his car was in the shop, so T offered to give him a ride.  His friend lives just one town over and T thought it would be nice to drop by to say hello.   Me, Mike, and Kayla, feel very fortunate that it happened the way it did.  It would have been much more difficult (impossible?) to explain why both mom and Kayla were naked, having sex, masturbating, getting spanked, etc., Very fortunate indeed!

We asked T to give us text when he was on his way and of course, we fibbed and told him that we asked Kayla to not walk around the house naked.  In addition, T doesn’t even have a house key, he always just comes in through the garage.  We are now keeping the door from the garage to the house locked.

NEXT: 129: Vulnerability. Plus, Choose Respect or Choose Love.

 

       

 

 

126. Catching up (on spankings and other stuff)

CatchingUp

As so many of my recent posts have focused on Kayla, I thought I’d talk about what is going on directly with me.  So, here’s a hodge-podge of things I thought I’d catch you up on.  

JOHN AND DONNA
We do still get together with them, maybe twice a month.  Maybe one of those two times will include the three of us, and sometimes only Mike and Kayla have gone, or even just Kayla by herself (but that’s another story for when I am talking about her experiences).  John and Donna are super-close friends and have been very accommodating in participating in TTWD.

Something I didn’t share on my last post – on one of the nights that J was at my parents, I spent the evening out with John and spent the night with John and Donna.  Sort of as reciprocation for Mike’s date night with Donna as well as Donna spending a week or so with us when John was out-of-town (Post 82. Enjoying the Ride, and Post 84. Happy Place). In doing so, my role there was to be completely submissive to John and be subject to any and all of his rules.  Although it was an extremely fun evening, and one I don’t mind repeating, I am glad it was just for one evening and night.  Such diversions are great, but my greatest fulfillment will always be playing with and directly serving Mike.

BTW, although I am not focusing on Kayla on this post, I will say that Kayla now allows both John and Donna to have sex with her.  One happy mini-orgy!  

One more quick thing about Kayla.  She will always be part of most posts simply because she is a big part of our life.  We don’t consider her as just living with us, or just experimenting with us.  While those things are true, it is deeper than that.  We all love each other and express that in many “vanilla” ways every day.  Which leads me to my next topic. 

BOWLING OVER MY SISTERS
I posted before that I “came out” to my sisters about adopting domestic discipline as well as my relationship with Kayla.  And although not my original intent, I did tell them about my blog.  Sis 2 said she read it, and Sis 1 said she didn’t want to know “those things” about me.   The way she explained it was that while she wants to know ZERO percent about our parents sex lives, she only wants to know about 20% of her sisters, and what I told her was more than enough to meet that quota.  She doesn’t want to know more.  

Sis 2 was far more curious and had to read it.  One of the things she told me was, in a non-judgmental and half-joking tone,  “So, my sister is a “predatory-polyamorous-swinger?”   I know she was jokingly teasing me about “predatory” as she knows Kayla is an adult (granted, a young one at that) and my sister understands the situation there.  As for poly, I  recognize I am in a poly relationship, but I don’t think of myself in the context of that label.  Same for the term “swinger.”  Yes, we swap and stuff with John and Donna, but, swinging occasionally on a single swing doesn’t really amount to being a swinger to me, no more than going bowling a few times a year makes you a bowler. (Ugh, not a good analogy, but, that’s what I told my sister).  Sticking with that analogy I said, “at the moment I am bowling, yes, I am a bowler, but outside that moment I don’t consider myself a bowler.  So I don’t consider myself poly or a swinger, although certainly the relationships I have definitely fit those definitions. 

MY DD / Punishments
It’s been awhile since I talked about it, but I do get routinely spanked.  At one point not too long ago I went more than a week between spankings…maybe like 9 or 10 days.  That was my longest stretch. Even though I received my Maintenance spankings, it got to be too much for me and I had to ask Mike for a spanking.  This was only the second time I have ever done that (I shared the first on Post 42). 

Similar to that occasion, I had this building sense of restlessness and uneasiness over nothing I could identify.  The only feeling I was sure of was that I knew a spanking would “cure” it.  Yes, those endorphins are addicting and, in their own way, relaxing!  Also, spanking gives me a unique way of connecting with Mike that is just different from anything else.  I guess I was missing that.  I get immense satisfaction from submitting to him.  Allowing him to spank me is part of that submission and thus part of that satisfaction.  

I am not one to “brat” to get a spanking.  While it is fine if others do it, it just isn’t for me. I find it inauthentic and not as fulfilling.  I know this because I tried it before.   Nope, I either want a spanking as a punishment or because I asked for one.   

Of course, wouldn’t you know it, right after my requested spanking I had a series of transgressions that earned me more.  All minor stuff, and all stuff a “vanilla” would be appalled at.  And I say this as I use the reaction of my sisters as my litmus test for how a “vanilla” would react.  I shared this with them as well (because they asked).  Yes, even Sis 1 who doesn’t want to read my blog will still ask me questions.  It’s like she wants to know, but doesn’t want to know.  Anyway, here were some of those spankings: 

Open Door / Open Mouth
I left our garage door open over night.  Not only a no-no, but this was a THIRD offense so the spanking and punishment was quite harsh.  He took me to the garage and I was spanked extremely red using the push ups from our
Calisthenics of DoomMike then had me stand in the corner of the garage with one of the doors open for about an hour.  You couldn’t see me from where I was standing, but it was eery to hear the sounds of neighborhood so plainly.  I could hear people talking who walked by walking their dogs and stuff like that.  He also had me hold the remote to the garage door in my mouth the entire time.  Probably ruined it with my slobber but we don’t really use it since the cars have their built in buttons to open/close the door.  He repeated this punishment for three straight mornings.  

Dome light gets the vibe.
Another punishment also had to do with the car.  Maybe I have some subconscious issue with the car?  Anyway, for some reason I had turned on the dome light inside the car.  Not where it just comes on when you open the doors, but where it stays on permanently until you turn it off.  I forgot to turn it off and the battery died.   Hey, it is something anyone can do, so why get punished?  Because those are the consequences I not only agreed to, but that I crave.  I am so lucky to have a husband willing to deliver those consequences.  In addition to a spanking, Mike got creative and had me stand in the corner with a small vibrator inserted and left mostly inside me for about an hour.  As pleasurable as that vibe can be, an hour of buzzing in one spot while standing up is definitely not a joy.  The upside – I felt phantom vibrations for a few hours afterwards that were quite pleasing!

Iron Mike Hangs ’em Up.
The last one I’ll share really insults the feminist as it is a poster child for 1950’s misogyny. I iron all of Mike’s clothes and normally I leave them out until I have ironed them but for some reason one day I went ahead and hung them up un-ironed.  I did the ironing and was just pulling a few at a time from the closet.  Well, I got distracted and put the iron away before finishing, thus there were un-ironed clothes hanging in the closet.  Oh, the humanity!    I say that in jest as to me, any transgression is a transgression.  None are trivial to me as they all are things I commit to doing without fail (or at least without consequences when I fail).   

What iron related punishment could Mike come up with?  Branding is a hard limit, so no burning me with an iron!  A girls’ got limits!  But he immediately knew what he wanted to do.  

We have a couple of those hangers like they have in hotels – the hangers with those metal clips on them.  Well, he clipped them to my nipples – Like this.   Those clips are very tight, way more than clothespins, and they are a bit sharp.  Unlike in that picture, they didn’t have smooth rubber tips on the end.  The ends on ours have these grooves in them.  Ouchy ouchy!   I had to use our “yellow” safe word to have them removed for a bit, and eventually had to call “red” as I just couldn’t take anymore.  Oh, and similar to this picture, he had the end of the hanger tied to our ceiling fan such it pulled extra hard if I stood flat footed.

Yes, subjecting yourself to this type of punishment probably seems so absurd, but I love it!  I am a submissive wife who flourishes and feels complete when being accountable to my man.

POST SCRIPT
For most of my DD journey I would have described DD as a way of being accountable to myself, to my dreams and desires.  That’s why I refer to my blog as DD “Jenny Style.”  It is my own version of how domestic discipline helps me be the person, wife, and mother that I want to be.  It is about submitting on my terms, not Mike’s.  That is still a big part of my DD; however, slowly but surely those dreams and desires have become less specific about what I want, and more and more about simply serving Mike in the way he wants.

He has evolved as a Dom.  At first it was all about doing things in a way I specifically prescribed.  Now it is much more about doing things that he chooses for me to do and in the manner he prescribes.  I like that!  

It has been a smooth and natural progression that has worked well for me and for him. Perhaps I’ll explore that thought further on another post where I go on one of my esoteric rambles.  It’s been awhile since I’ve done any self-analyzing philosophical opining.  (Post 99. Be here now Slut in December, to be exact).   Humm, “self-analyzing philosophical opining.”   Nah, “esoteric ramble” has a better ring to it. 

NEXT: 127: About Compersion, Sex, and Change

 

 

 

 

115. My Abundant Life

abundance

I’ve realized that I prefer to blog about things that have happened several days ago and/or have reached some sort of conclusion versus blogging as events unfold or where the implications are uncertain.  I think I am just more eager to share something once I have reconciled it in my mind.  I guess that’s why I tend to be upbeat in my posts (or at least think I am).  With some exception, I tend not to post during times of indecisiveness or worry.  The result is I tend to write when I have good feelings about resolved situations and optimism about the future.  Not sure what that says about me, but, it’s a pattern I’ve noticed with myself.  This is defintely one of those posts!  

OPEN MARRIAGE?
Anyway, I thought I’d post about Kayla but in a different way than before.  More about what she has meant to me and my relationship with Mike.. You could call our marriage an “open marriage” but that label is not entirely accurate.  I would call it “situational openness.”  Thus far the only situations where we have swapped partners or had sex with others or threesomes has been with John and Donna, and with Kayla.  We are completely comfortable with that and plan to continue, but no plans to expand that – but also not adverse to it if the right situation came up.  

Whatever you call this openness, we are new to it.  It hasn’t been six months since our first “swinging” foray with John and Donna, and of course, the stuff with Kayla is just since the end of last year.  So while it is new to us, it also seems so natural and old hat to us.

NEW ENERGY!  Spankings as recreation?
Having Kayla living with us has injected a new energy into an already energetic household and relationship.  It’s like the thrill of a shiny new toy, and we all are serving as each others plaything in one way or another.  Not just sexual, although that is a big part of it, but even in just conversations about every day things and in sharing more about our ourselves and life experiences.  

Kayla has injected a greater playfulness than Mike and I have.  She likes to role play and set up scenes and roleplays for us.  Like a choreographer, she sets the music and lighting, and will pick out the toys.  Sometimes it is just us being us, but often she will give us a general idea as to the roles, from teacher/student, to doctor/patient, to master/slave, etc.  It is really fun and something I know Mike and I wouldn’t do on our own.  Not because we are adverse to it, but, it just isn’t something we do – but we do now – with Kayla!

The “scene” thing is entirely new to us.  Except for some “punishment” play with John and Donna, Mike and I have kept spankings and what not exclusive to punishments.  These scenes with Kayla are new in that spanking, flogging, etc., are all just in play.  A very different sensation.  I can’t explain it, because it may be the same intensity, or perhaps not, but the body reacts very differently.  It is more self-indulgent and more sensual.  

WE ALL ARE BARE DOWN THERE!
Another playful thing she did was to shave Mike’s pubes!  Mike never went bare down there and she was encouraging him to give it a try.  She finally just took it upon herself and hopped in the shower with him, scissors, razor, and shaving cream in hand, and he finally relented.  I think it makes him look a bit funny – not sure what it is – perhaps I am preconditioned to think of hair as masculine, and seeing him bare down there is emasculating.  I know that is just a personal bias, but it is how I reacted.  I never said anything and told Mike I was happy with whatever he decided regarding keeping it or not.  In my mind I was sure I would grow to like it and just needed to get used to it.  Mike kept it shaved for a little more than a week and just started to let it grow back.   

KAYLA’S SEX DRIVE
Kayla also has a pretty large sexual appetite.  She admits she has never had so much sex as she has had in the last month or so.  A day doesn’t go by that she isn’t involved in at least two or three acts, and she hasn’t slowed down.  She really loves to perform oral sex.  While she likes to perform it on me, she really loves to perform it on Mike.  I’ve “caught” her giving head on many occasions. Anytime there isn’t anyone else home, I can pretty much count on running into Kayla on her knees with Mike’s cock in her mouth.  I’ve even been awaken in the middle of the night from movement on the bed, only to roll over and see Kayla down in the sheets going at it.  I am perfectly fine with all of this.  I am not possessive of Mike when it comes to sex.  I get plenty of love and attention and sex from him and I am not threatened by him enjoying himself sexually without me.  I actually get a thrill from it. 

Last weekend Kayla had anal sex for the first time.  She enjoyed it.  She had been practically begging for it and Mike was putting her off, just to tease her.  Well, tease no more.  It was nice to watch someone, especially someone you love, experiencing something new for the first time.  It went well, and has been repeated several times.

MIKE AND KAYLA TAKE A ROAD TRIP
Today Mike and Kayla left for Orlando.  Mike has a business meeting and Kayla is tagging along.  Although he just has one meeting tomorrow and could return home tomorrow night, they are staying tomorrow night and Friday night.  They’ll be back Saturday.  I know it is weird and a bit hard to admit, but, I love this.  Much like Mike’s date night with Donna (shared in Post 90), I get a thrill from this.  I enjoy knowing Mike is having the time of his life, living a fantasy of being like a king.  I couldn’t be happier to allow him that experience.  

WHAT’S UP WITH JOHN AND DONNA? 
Oh, on the subject of Donna, Kayla joined us one time over to John and Donna’s.   Kayla hasn’t had sex with all of us — would 5 qualify as an orgy?  Anyway, while no sex, there is a “topless” rule at their house that Kayla adheres to, so me, Donna, and Kayla remain topless at all times – of course, often Donna and I are completely naked.  Kayla watched but didn’t participate.  She just wanted to get a sense of what all went on before deciding what she may be interested in doing.  Thus far she indicated she isn’t interested in sex with them, but would like to participate in the scenes.  She showed a particular interest in the bondage horse and other accoutrements they have.   I am certain on her next visit she will be trying out some of their toys and be more involved, perhaps as a spankee or other object of attention, excluding sex with John or Donna.    We shall see. 

THE CANE!
I mentioned in my last post that we got a cane. It is rattan with a crook, like you would imagine belongs in an old school house.   Kayla wanted it.  Both of us have since been spanked with it.  Gee, thanks Kayla!  I don’t like it.  I much more prefer the flat spanking implements (hand is still my favorite) than the sting of the cane.  However, I will say I enjoy watching it used on Kayla.  I admit the stripes it makes does something for me.  It’s a turn on.  Kayla likes it, and says she prefers it to the paddles.  The downside is she can’t take as many with the cane as she can with a paddle so the experience, while more intense for her, is shorter. 

CHORES GALORE!
Let’s see, what else?  I am just trying to give you a full download of the various things that Kayla has added to my DD household.  Oh, the chores!  It is great to have a second set of hands to help out, and Kayla takes her cleaning responsibilities as serious as I do.  In fact, she takes all her “acts of service” seriously.  She is highly organized, even more than I am and that is tough to do.  She gets a lot of fulfillment out of all the things she does every day.  Of course, with two of us it has meant that we run out of things to do. When that has happened, one of us, or Mike, will then come up with something new for us to add to our lists.  I must say my house has never sparkled so much!  My pantry, closet, drawers, garage, kitchen – you name it, looks a bit like an anal retentive s dream.  Make that wet dream, given we typically do all our housework in the nude!   

SPANKINGS GALORE!
I mentioned in my last post that Mike is becoming a bit of a hard ass.  I say that lovingly and is something I have said to him in loving jest.  Part because Kayla asked for greater rules and structure, and part because Mike is growing into a Dominant mind set.  He doesn’t just limit his greater dominance to dealing with Kayla.  I’ve been spanked for things I would never have thought I would be spanked for.  The hangers aren’t all facing the same way in the closet, something wasn’t ironed well enough,  or heaven forbid, I used something other than a loving tone in responding to him.   Oh my god – I love it!   Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I enjoy this.  I enjoy it, Mike enjoys it, and Kayla enjoys it.  While there is a lot of work that goes into all of this, it is packaged in a tremendous amount of love and play.  

LIFE GALORE!
No matter what the dynamics of a household or your life is, life happens.  That means there will be highs and lows along the way.  I know we have had them and will continue to have them, no different from your life or anyone else’s.   And don’t think I never have doubts.  There have been evenings I’ve laid in bed after an unfulfilling day, with my nipples sore from the clamps that were applied that day, my ass throbbing from a spanking, and my body just tired from the busy day and I’ve thought, “What am I doing?”  

Doubts don’t concern me.  In fact, I would be concerned if I never had them.  But each time I do I find it is simply an opportunity to reaffirm my confidence and love for the choices I have made.  

While almost two years into adopting DD, I still love it, have no regrets, and remain excited about each day.  I love life, every moment, every day!  I am living a life of abundance!

NEXT:  116.  Revealing DD to my Sisters

 

 

 

101. Compersion – with a side of Submission and Spanking

orders

I started writing this over the weekend although didn’t post until now.  Kayla has moved in, but let me first take you back about a week or so . . .

Kayla was spending more time with us as her move-in date neared.  She would pop-in at various times of the day, and evenings, and spent the night a few times.  Mike then realized something was wrong and he told Kayla she could no longer just show up as she pleased.  It was very un-sub like! 

For context – This began on Wednesday, December 14.   Our son J would be off for the Christmas and New Year’s break starting Monday, 12/19.  In addition, Mike was working from home all day for the 15th and 16th.

THE SCHEDULE
Mike told her that he felt it was unwise and unsubmissive to allow her to pick-and-choose when to be submissive or when she wanted to sleep with us.  She must come over on Thursday and Friday, arriving at 9am and that she would leave at 4pm.  That night she was expected to return and spend the night with us, and also come over for dinner and spend the night on Saturday.  For the following week they would discuss her needs and he would set a firm schedule for her.  The alternative to all of this would be that she could not come over until the move in date.

Mike’s actions were a pleasant surprise to me.  I love it when he does dom-like things that I am not expecting.  I found it erotic to hear his firm commands to Kayla regarding her schedule.   It also showed great awareness on his part for needing to exert his dominance as her carefree approach to her coming and going was not in keeping with a submissive mindset. 

Her only response was “Yes, Sir. I’ll stick to your schedule.”  Mike didn’t end his instructions there.

THE PUNISHMENT
Mike told her that her unsub-like attitude deserved punishment.  For her visit on Thursday and Friday she is to text him just before arriving to ensure J was not home.  She was to let herself in and immediately disrobe once inside.  She was not to say anything to me (if I was home) and was to immediately go and choose a spanking implement and go into Mike’s office.  Once there she was not to make any eye contact with Mike at any time.  She is to stand in the corner, holding the implement, and awaiting further instruction.  When he is ready she is to get on her knees and hold up the implement to Mike, again without making eye contact.  Mike will then instruct her as to the position she is to take and he will then spank her for five minutes at the speed and force of his choosing.  He again stressed she is not to make eye contact with him.  She will be instructed when to leave the room and there will be no aftercare.  She is to return at the top of every hour, never early and never late and this scene will be repeated.  The “closing ceremony” will take place at the 3pm.session.  (As per both my contract and Kayla’s, the closing ceremony outlines the aftercare that occurs after a punishment).

“ELABORATE”
He asked Kayla what her feelings were about this.  As I covered in other posts, Kayla has a hard time expressing herself and one of the things she wants to work on is sharing what is truly on her mind.  As part of her contract she is expected to explain her feelings anytime she is asked.   If her answer is unsatisfying she will be asked to “elaborate.”  That word is her queue that she has one last chance to express herself to our satisfaction or else she will be punished.  No stammering or hesitations.  It’s okay if she is uncertain, but she must state whatever comes to mind and she is allowed to amend or elaborate as necessary.  The key is she needs to express something, anything.  It doesn’t have to be “correct.”  Just quickly express her feelings with whatever words come to mind. 

To Kayla’s credit, she had a quick and thorough answer.  “I feel good about it, Sir.  I deserve it and while it makes me anxious, it also makes me happy to know that you are looking out for the things I said I needed and wanted.  I am ready.”   No need to elaborate there.

Kayla arrived the next morning, on time, and proceeded according to plan.  Kayla picked a medium-sized wooden paddle for her first spanking of the day.  Despite my curiosity I avoided hanging out near Mike’s office. 

COMPERSION
It will be odd to some of you but I felt that this punishment was between Mike and Kayla.  In my mind any eavesdropping on my part would diminish their experience together.  I feel that way in general and not just about this particular punishment.  I want Mike and Kayla to have a relationship that doesn’t always include me.   It excites me to allow Mike to explore on his own (as per Post 90 – Mike’s Date Night with Donna).  I know that is counter-culture and is contrary to how I am “supposed” to feel.  But it is my true feeling – I enjoy Mike’s enjoyment, even when it means he is experiencing something without me. 

I also enjoy it for Kayla.  I love the thought that she is exploring and experiencing a relationship with Mike that is her own – without my interference.  I am around plenty, and I am involved plenty, so there is no reason for me to insert myself at every opportunity to do so just because I am able.  I already told Mike and Kayla they don’t have to inform me of the things they experience together.  They can share if they are wanting to share, but they shouldn’t do so out of a sense of obligation to share with me.  I get a thrill out of thinking of Kayla and Mike’s relationship as their own, different from my relationship with Mike and different from my relationship with Kayla.   Compersion!  I never heard the term until recently but it fully describes what I feel.    

BACK TO THE SPANKING
Although I avoided going near Mike’s office, I could hear Kayla crying.  When she came out she immediately came to me and had me hold her.  I just let her cry for a while and eventually asked her what she was feeling.  She said it was a mixed bag of emotions.  Part good – happy and love.  Part bad – disappointment and embarrassment.  She felt she let Mike down and also felt embarrassed in front of me.   Oh, and of course, part of her, her ass to be precise, felt bad from pain. 

I reassured her that her feelings were normal and I feel that way too at times.  I told her that sometimes I have to remind myself that Mike does not feel let down.  Our submission is about our commitments to ourselves and feelings of letting someone down should be directed to ourselves.  Then, use that feeling as fuel for upholding the things we committed to.   As far as being embarrassed in front of me, I told her that for me, I relate the feeling of embarrassment to one of vulnerability.  As a submissive I thrive on feeling vulnerable to Mike, thus embarrassment is welcomed and enjoyed.  She wants to be submissive to me, thus her embarrassment is actually demonstrating the vulnerability she is feeling and that vulnerability in turn demonstrates her submission.  I encouraged her to try to welcome that feeling and wear it with pride, not shame. 

She stopped crying and said she thinks she gets it.  She then said her other feeling was one of being anxious over the rest of the day as she was in for many more sessions (six more!).  She wasn’t sure she could take it.   I told her I could relate.  One of the worst parts of a deferred punishment is the deferring – that waiting and knowing what is to come.  I told her ultimately she would need to discover what works best for her in dealing with that feeling, however, I would share how I do it.
 
Again, I try to tie it back into my submission.  In this case Mike is choosing to prolong the punishment and purposely making her feel the anticipation of what is to come.  So if that anticipation manifests itself as anxiety, or nervousness, or whatever the feeling is, it is that feeling that we are submitting ourselves to. That doesn’t make the feeling go away, but for me it makes it easier to accept and helps make it feel more positive than negative.  So whether we are submitting to a spanking that physically hurts, or submitting to the anxiety of the deferred punishment, it is still all about submission.  In that way, it makes me joyful.  Lastly, as for the pain part, I reminded her that the safe words are there for a reason and don’t hesitate to use them. 

#2
Kayla became more apprehensive as the top of the next hour approached but I chose not to bring it up or ask her anything as I thought it would just add to her anxiety.   She went to Mike’s office and soon I again heard her cries.  She came out and again rushed into my arms.  I didn’t say anything to her for some time.  I just held her and rubbed her back.  As she calmed down I asked her again how she was feeling.  She said that it was better than the first time.  She tried to connect the various feelings with her submission and that “sort of” worked.  She said she wasn’t completely there, but felt better about it.  She also said she longs for the closing ceremony with Mike and that she feels empty leaving the punishment without him holding her.   I simply acknowledged that this was tough and I can imagine feeling the same way and I was sorry she had to go through that. 

#3
Another hour and another spanking.  I didn’t hear any crying but could hear an occasional “Ow!”  She came out teary eyed but did not need my consoling.  She told me it hurt like heck but she was able to get through it and is determined to get through it.  I reminded her not to hold back her feelings and if she needs to cry, cry.  She said she did not and the feelings of embarrassment or of letting Mike down were gone.  She said any look of distress was simply due to her throbbing butt, which, after three sessions, was quite red.  

#4
Another hour and another spanking.  I didn’t hear anything coming out of the room.  When she emerged she was teary eyed but smiling.  She told me that Mike put down the implement and simply used his hand.   While she got a “ton of spankings” they didn’t seem as intense to her.  When she showed me her ass I could see that every square inch was red.  One thing with hand spankings is that it is easier to direct your aim to specific parts and it looked like Mike’s intention was to fully cover her ass.     

#5
She was in there a lot longer and when she came out she was crying.  She told me she had to use her safe word several times to have Mike pause for a while.  She said it is also driving her crazy that Mike is not saying anything to her.  He just tells her to get in whatever position, spank her, and then says, “we’re done.”  I held her and reassured her she was handling this all very well and was almost through it. 

#6
She emerged with teary eyes but didn’t seek any consoling from me.  I asked her what she was feeling and she said “fine.”  I felt bad for pushing for an answer but given her need to better express herself I felt I couldn’t just let it go.  I asked her to “elaborate.”  She said that she is focused on her submission and everything she is feeling can be summed up as “submissive.”  She is joyful in her submission and any tears are out of physical discomfort only and that emotionally she is joyful and she looks forward to the final spanking and Closing Ceremony. (that’s basically our term for After Care as per the Contract).

#7
She was in Mike’s office for twenty minutes.  I walked by the office and it was quiet.  Through the closed door I told them I was leaving to pick up J.  Mike simply said, “Okay, we’ll be done by the time you return.”  

Kayla was taking a bath when I returned home.  I went to speak with her and I could see her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, but she was smiling and happy.  When I asked her what she was feeling she proclaimed, “Proud, happy, excited, love!  I am looking forward to returning tomorrow.”  I didn’t see the need to ask her to elaborate.  

I never asked Mike what occurred and he never told me.  Later he told me that Kayla really seems to “get it” regarding being submissive and wants him to continue being strict with her.   As much as I’d like to know the details of what went on in the last session, I take solace in simply knowing the outcome.  Kayla was happy.   

GETTING UP TO DATE
The next day (December 16) she received the same punishments as the day before, but in emerging from each session she never sought solace from me.  She would be a bit teary eyed, but it appeared she did little crying.  Mike did each spanking by hand this time and Kayla said she really liked that.   After the first few sessions I stopped even asking her how she was feeling as each time she said “Wonderful.  Joyful.  Happy.” 

She spent several mornings and afternoons with us last week.  J was on Christmas break from school and our son T2 also spent several days with us.  Suffice to say the visits from Kayla that week lacked the submissive intensity of the prior week.  Kayla did earn some spankings, as did I.  Nothing cathartic or unusual.  We had to navigate the issue of our sons being home, which we did by either scheduling some errands so that either Kayla or I could be alone with Mike, or, some quick visits to John and Donna’s.   

She moved in yesterday and I already have some fun stories to share.  I think my posts will continue to be filled with Kayla stories for some time.  Suffice to say Mike and I are in love with her, and she with us. 

I remain cognizant of the fact that love, too, can come with an entourage of associates (not just jealousy as per Post 88 – Something True).  We must not let it blind us to the things that could be present that are unhealthy for any of us.  I am confident that Mike and I are mature and experienced enough to avoid this, but the fact is Kayla, at 22, may lack the life experience to recognize those things.  As such, we continue to do everything we can to ensure she is expressing what is on her mind and sharing not just her thoughts, but her motivations.   Thus far, everything seems to be aligned around one simple truth.  Love. Since there are three of us, more aptly, Compersion – with a side order of submission and spanking!  

Next: 102. Sharing Salacious Spanking Stories

54. Sex is fun. Four times the fun with the right couple!

So, what’s new?  Not much here.  Oh yeah, Mike, me, John, and Donna got together for a f-fest.  Ha!

I’ll do my best to tell the story for those of you that love the details, which, per my blog stats, seem to be most of you.  Stories of sexual adventure and punishments seem to get more visits!  I’ve said before I am more inclined to share my feelings and write about how or if I reconciled an issue from an emotional standpoint.  I am less inclined to give the steamy sizzling sensual experience that went with it, but I’ll give it a try.  It’s odd for me to write this.  While I’ve shared a lot, I’ve never tried to share this type of detail.  Hope you enjoy.  I sure enjoyed doing it and reliving it through writing about it!

Preamble
You’ll want to read the post linked here to get the backstory that led to Mike and I venturing into our first full swap with another couple.

One of the things Mike asked me before we did this was whether I would be in “sub” mode or not.  It was a good discussion for us as we had never really talked about turning the submission “on” or “off.”  It is always on as far as I am concerned, but with some modifications around the kids or in public.  I asked him not to think of me as just “submissive” but to consider me “his submissive wife.”  I had never said that before and I believe it helped for him to hear that.  It helped me to say it also.  I liked the sound of that and saying it made me feel all warm and tingly inside!  Mike was wanting to know whether he should instruct and guide me during our upcoming sexcapade or just leave me to my own adventurous devices.  I told him I want it to be whichever way he liked.

He still gets frustrated at times when I answer, “Whatever you wish,” but he is getting better and more comfortable at just stating what he wants versus asking my permission.  I remind him that in my mind there is no “sub-Jenny” and “non-sub Jenny,” there is just Jenny who is his submissive wife.   Period.  I gently reminded him that if something he asked for went too far, I am capable and willing to say so.  In fact, I am required to say so, by both common sense and our rules.

He then said, “Fine, you’ll do as you are told then.”
“Yes, Sir.” I said with a smile.

Warm Up
Donna came over Monday afternoon and we talked about the plans for that evening.  We both admitted to being both excited and a bit nervous, but mostly excited.   Being the blunt one, I told her, “I’ve imagined Mike fucking you and now I get to see it plus, I owe you a nice lick!”  She laughed and said she was looking forward to having him inside her, watching me and John and yes, having me go down on her.  As she was leaving she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss as her thumb and forefinger touched just above my breast. She then moved her hand downward, extending apart her thumb and forefinger as they encircled my breast.  She continued moving her hand down as her thumb and forefinger moved closer back together as they reached the underside of my breast.  Her finger and thumb were then once again together at the base of my breast.  “That’s a little tease for later”, she said.    My my, she isn’t reluctant at all.

Evening Fun
Mike and I enter their house.  I felt a little awkward knowing what we were about to do and not sure how we would get into the swing of things – pun intended.  Well, John didn’t waste any time.  He greeted us at the door and as we walked into the kitchen, Donna was laying blindfolded on their living room floor.  She was fully clothed, in her “regular” clothes.  I thought it was interesting that John didn’t have her in any of their “gear” or just naked.   I didn’t question it and am guess the disrobing would just add to the anticipation.

John announced, “I thought we’d let the girls start us off,” as he popped open two beers and handed one to Mike.   Wow, John wasn’t wasting any time.

Mike looked at me and said, “Jen, you know Donna has never been with a woman other than your special treat during your shave, so give her something memorable.”    John added, “Donna is not to speak.  Have her in any way you’d like.”  Now I thought to myself, “humm, I hadn’t really thought about different ways to “have” her.  I mean, yes, go down on her, suck her breasts, have her suck mine, stuff like that.   But I hadn’t thought about doing more.  There were toys around.  Oh the possibilities.  I had the perfect sub answer to this potential dom opportunity of mine.

“Mike Sir, tell me where you want me to start.”

Mike tells me, “Rub her tits and her pussy outside her clothing.  Get her really warmed up.  I rubbed her for a few minutes, and then Mike told me to start kissing her.  I remember him saying, “lots of tongue.”   And without hesitation, John chimes in, “And Donna, you need to start rubbing on Jenny.”  We made out and rubbed for quite a while, rubbing each other on the outside our clothing.   It was really nice.  It had been a very long time since I kissed another woman.  My insides were aching for us to get naked.  It got to the point that my yearning for Mike to give further instruction began to distract me.  I really needed him to give me the order to move on.  I was more than fully warmed up and I needed to fully feel her!   When was he going to let me go further?

Finally, Mike said, “Okay, slowly take off each other’s clothes and keep rubbing.” He hadn’t finished the sentence and I already had Donna’s shirt over her head.  I worked my hand inside her pants as she unbuttoned and then unzipped my pants.  Donna was very wet, way more wet than I anticipated.  I could feel her fingers slide easily past my folds and deep into my pussy.  I was very wet as well.  We fingered each other for some time and then I stopped to pull her pants and panties off and to take mine off as well.   John then told Donna, “Okay, take that blindfold off because you need to see the tits you’ll be sucking.”

With that she took off the blindfold.  It was nice to look her in the eyes as she began to suck my tits.  She kept her eyes open, looking up at me as she suckled.  I remember thinking about what was going through her mind as this was a first for her.  Frankly, it has been so long since I’ve had anyone but Mike that it felt like a first for me.   John then proclaims, “Donna, you are on your own now, do as you wish.”  With that, she got up and positioned me on my back on the floor.  She put her pussy in my face and leaned over to eat me out.  Ah, a classic 69.   She was extremely wet and tasty.   I hadn’t had a mouthful of pussy in about 27 years!   It was everything I remembered.  It was wonderful.

At some point Donna flipped around so that she was sitting on my face, facing me so that I could look up with my eyes and see her face.  Soon I saw Mike and John’s dicks come into view.  I hadn’t even heard them take their clothes off.  I saw as Mike’s cock entered Donna’s mouth, and Donna had one hand on Mike’s cock as it worked in and out of her mouth, and one hand on John’s cock that stood ready to the side.  The best part is that I was able to make eye contact with Mike.  It made me smile as I was eating Donna while watching her give him oral.

Donna came.  We had a bet as to who would come first, and we women thought for sure it would be one of the guys – but it wasn’t fair as we got a head start on the fun.   Anyway, it was the best bet I ever lost.  Her orgasm caused her to move off me and give up sucking on Mike for moment.  That’s when Mike said, “Jen, you can pick up where she left off.”  Mike sat down in a chair and I got on my knees in front of him but before I could start to do anything he told me to stand back up and just lean over to suck him, he said my ass needed to be “up and out.”

I looked back at John and made eye contact and gave a quick smile.  I knew this was it.  I leaned over and began sucking Mike and very soon I felt the unmistakable feeling of a cock sliding into my wet pussy from behind.  I raised up from Mike’s cock because I wanted to peer into Mike’s eyes and have Mike peering into mine as John’s cock made its way fully inside me.  I gave out a pleasurable “Ahh.”  My elbows were resting on Mike’s knees as Mike played with my tits and John worked his cock in and out, in and out, in and out.  I continued starting at Mike which made me more and more excited.  I loved being so close to Mike while John was fucking me. I could tell Mike was also taking pleasure in my pleasure.

John felt different inside of me than Mike does as they are “differently endowed.”   Both in good ways.  Mike is about 6 1/4 inches while John tops out at perhaps 7 and half inches.  Mike has a lot of girth and is quite thick, whereas John is a bit of “pencil” dick (said with affection!).  I love the contrast.  It felt different but it felt very good.

It wasn’t long before Donna reappeared and walked up to the side of the chair. She got on her knees and leaned in and kissed me, then kissed Mike.  Eventually the three of us were three-way kissing.  This is something I actually had never done and I found it hot as hell.  Feeling her tongue, then Mike’s, then her’s while in Mike’s mouth, and Mike’s and her’s in mine.  My hands on Donna’s tits, both her and Mike’s hands rubbing mine, John’s cock in me . . . all that stimulation and it wasn’t long before I came.   I couldn’t believe it, both guys outlasted the women.   Not that I am complaining!

So now it was Mike and Donna’s turn.  Mike stood up as Donna laid down on the floor (yes, they has a nice, soft carpet).  Mike got down and started fucking Donna missionary.  John came over to me and we both watched, as I had one hand on John’s cock and he had his fingers in my pussy.  We were standing to the side of Mike and Donna so we all could see each other.   I was still twitching from my orgasm and couldn’t take any more fingering, so I dropped to my knees and took John’s cock into my mouth.  Of course, I kept my eyes opened and made sure I could make eye contact with Mike.  Having him watch was such a turn on for me.

Soon John came in my mouth.  I leaned over to Donna as if to kiss her and let John’s cum drool into her mouth.  Shortly thereafter Mike came inside Donna and then Mike said, “Go and get my cum, baby.”

I went down on Donna and sucked his cum from her pussy.   I stayed down on her for quite some time, after all, the guys were spent for the time being and I owed her some nice cunnilingus from the treat she gave me.  Donna came a second time.

We all sat up and relaxed a bit, all of us marveling in our experience.  The word “wow” was said a lot, along with a lot of “that was awesome.”   There was more sex that night.  I had sex with Mike and Donna with John.  More orgasms, a break, some fun conversation, and then a third and final go at it but only after a little “punishment” demonstration.   John and Donna have let us watch many flogging sessions before, so that night was no different.   Donna really enjoys a good overall flogging where her breasts, stomach, back, thighs, and ass are all beautifully pink by the end.   It was a good way to recharge for our final go.  I’ll save the positions and combinations of our third and final go-round to myself.  A girl has to have some secrets, I am shy after all.

I do want to give a shout out to safe sex.  I don’t condone not using condoms, but for us, it was one part none of us being capable of reproduction one part because we’ve known each other for a very long time and the trust factor is very high, and one part just being foolish.  I guess we are taking a calculated risk.  That may not be completely smart, but, I am just being honest and I felt I should mention it.  Do as I say, not as I do.

It’s been four days and we can’t wait to do this again.  We plan to get together tomorrow night as well.

Sex is fun!

55. Agreement vs. Acceptance: A Spanking Disagreement