Time for some kink.
I am not feeling particularly “into it” regarding sharing our fun and frolic, our happiness and hedonism, our ecstasy and excitement, our. . . you get the picture. I blame the pandemic for that. I just can’t motivate myself to share that stuff. Stress and uncertainty seem to bring the worse out of people, especially when people are seizing this opportunity to publicly fan the fears while privately doing all they can to make things worse. He is just so stupid! And the fact I don’t even have to say who “he” is, is tragic and sad. I digress.
Whatever the cause of my own angst, I will be a bit light on the sexual details. But in typical Jenny verbosity, that doesn’t mean light on other details. I will also use this as an opportunity to recap and update you on our various friendships as well as give newer readers some background.
I’ve written about what is now an annual event we refer to as “Immersion.” It began as a time we would set aside specifically to “immerse” ourselves into our kinks. Explore things we were curious about, do things we weren’t necessarily committing to doing all the time, and just have a lot of fun. By setting a specific and finite time to do this, we felt even freer to explore and push ourselves to try new things in a controlled and loving environment. This year’s Immersion was in early March, better known as 10 years ago! Wow, it certainly feels that way!
CIRCLE OF TRUST BACKGROUND
I’ve also written about our ever-expanding “Circle of Trust.” This is the name we give our collective friends with whom we interact. . . um, er. . . interact as in, have sex with. Well, it’s the truth, sort of. It’s more than that, but sometimes not much more than that! Okay, okay, it’s simply a group of friends where, when together, we don’t hide any of our kinks. It doesn’t always mean there is sex involved. Sometimes we might just watch a football game, watch a movie, have a barbecue. . . and then have lots of sex! Ha! Really, I am exaggerating. Yes, there are often sexual activities, but not always, and even less does it involve swapping partners, but that can be part of it at times.
Before Immersion, there were some in the COT that had little to no experience in swinging. And even today no one identifies as “swingers” and, thanks to Covid-19, none of us have had any follow up “interactions” since Immersion 2020.
Enough background, on to SWAPFEST!
No one seems to remember who first pitched the idea for our theme this year, but the idea was simple. A week-long wife-swap within the COT. For more on that – 346. Immersion in the year 2020 p.c. – Swapfest.
When I refer to a “day” regarding Swapfest, I mean an entire day and overnight stay. The days typically began at 10 a.m. and ended at 10 a.m. the next day.
RAUL AND VALERIE
Valerie is a former coworker of mine, married over 20 years, empty nester. They had joined us in the 2019 Immersion where they had their first threesome which was with Donna. I talk with Valerie now and then and pre-Covid her and Raul would sometimes come over or be part of our Sinday Football. They limited their threesomes with just Donna and were often comfortable just observing the activities going on around them. They are the most private of our group and the most reserved. They opted not to join us in Swapfest.
JOHN AND DONNA
They are our best friends and neighbors I first mentioned back in Post 20. Pre-Covid we interacted with them several times a week. And by interact, I don’t mean fucking! lol. Well, maybe a little. I mean, we would often just have dinner together or double-dates or Donna might come by for lunch or I would go to her house for lunch. We do typical BFF stuff, and maybe sometimes throw in is some BDSM and sex stuff. Ya’ know, like I stated, typical BFF stuff.
It’s been more than a month since we have met face-to-face with them other than a “hello” in the yard or brief conversations 6+ feet away. We have done some video calls with them just to stay connected and see how each other is doing. Platonic stuff.
As for Swapfest
- I got a day with John as did Kayla. Since I already knew him very well, I can’t say I learned anything new about him. I spent a lot of time alone with him in their “red room.” John and Donna have always been more into BDSM than us. And for me, most “impact play” is not play, but part of discipline as I tend to not mix sex with discipline. I will dabble in some play and Immersion gave me the opportunity for lots of dabbling with John! Who knew it could feel so good? Lol! John knew just how to do it, too! Very fun! Kayla said she had fun as well.Donna also had a day with Mike. I understand Mike also took the opportunity to have extended “impact play” with her. How thoughtful of Mike to accommodate her love of being whipped all over her body! hee-hee. He reported having a lot of fun and enjoying that experience.
TJ AND KIM
I first wrote about them about a year ago. In that time they have opened up to each other in very dramatic ways regarding their sexual desires. While oversimplifying it, she was very sexually repressed and the two of them rarely had sex.
Our “COT” relationship began with her simply watching me and Mike have sex. I wrote about the details of her sexual awakening. I won’t repeat it here. It led her to understand she enjoyed being in control, and TJ enjoyed the submissive role!
They joined us in 2019’s Immersion where, for the first time, they got into some level of swapping. Kim had sex with the women – me, Donna, and Kayla. And TJ both gave and received oral sex from the women AND I got to try a strap-on on TJ, a first for me!
Throughout the past year, they would come over sometimes for our Football Sindays or otherwise hang out with us. While there were times there was plenty of sex going on, the action was mostly the two of them having sex in front of everyone else who was having sex. There were a few times where Kim would have sex with one or more of the women and one or more of the women would peg TJ. However, Kim never had sex with any of the men and TJ never had anything but oral sex with the women. That changed with Swapfest:
- TJ got a day with me, as well as a day with Kayla and a threesome day with me and Chelsea. This was the most interesting experience for me because TJ likes to be dominated. In addition to being pegged, he likes to have his penis slapped and whacked (especially with a ruler he has). I’ve never been with a man who enjoyed that. It was fun to sort of switch for a day. While he enjoys being dominated, I wouldn’t call him submissive. His submissiveness is limited to certain play and that is it. He takes a more dominant role outside of play. And even in play he could be a bit dominant. He was always very exact in what he wanted and how he wanted it, even getting a little meanness to his tone re, “No, not like that. I want you to…” Hey! At least he didn’t have a problem articulating his desires.
- Kim got a day alone with Mike, and she also got a threesome with Kayla and John. Kim said that of all the men, she enjoyed her time with Mike the most. Not because of the sex, but she said he was just more fun and interesting to talk with and “obey” compared to the others. I may be biased, but Mike IS amazing, so why wouldn’t she feel that way! I think it is because Mike is a submissive’s Dom versus a Dom’s Dom. That is, he tries to tune into the needs and desires of the other person versus simply imposing his will, their needs and desires be damned.
- TJ also had a day with Jill. Of all the feedback we shared afterward, I think the two of them had the least enjoyable time together. Their personalities just don’t click together. Jill is almost too passive, expressionless, and unemotional. TJ likes the woman to get into it. That’s just not Jill. There was no animosity, it was just clear they didn’t connect well.
The full swap experience was new for TJ and Kim. Afterward they spoke of it in glowing terms – no regrets. They feel it was a great outlet and made them appreciate each other even more. They said they were open to the idea of swapping in the future with the caveat it is done while they were in the same room.
Oh – and as for where their kids were during Swapfest — Their eldest headed to the coast for spring break and their middle and youngest went to visit cousins in another state. The spring break trip got Covid-canceled and their daughter decided to head to the lake where one her friend’s family had a house. And, thanks to Covid, she ended up coming back earlier than expected, as did the two younger kids. as this was all going on just as Covid was upon us. We ended Swapfest a little earlier than planned, but still got in all the swapping but didn’t get to some other planned events.
MATT AND JILL
You’ll know Matt as my one-time “boyfriend” of sorts. Just a handful of dates. He has been dating Jill now for at least a year. Jill is a bit of an enigma. She is quiet and reserved, but highly submissive. She will tell you things about herself but you really have to pull it out of her. And she’s very pretty!
As for Swapfest
- I had a day with Matt while Mike had a night with Jill and a threesome with Jill and Kayla. My time with Matt was fun but nothing new. I’ve spent one-on-one time with him previously. The only difference I noticed is that he is far more comfortable with his kinks and being Dominant than he was when we “dated.”
- Mike had a hard time reading Jill’s reaction, as we all do. She will tell you she had a great time, but she speaks so monotone and lacks expression such that there is always a disconnect between what she says she feels and what you feel that she feels. We’ve come to understand that is just how she’s wired and if you want to know what she is thinking or feeling, you just have to ask, otherwise, she keeps it to herself. Mike felt her demeanor had its own charm and turn on. He admitted it was a bit of a turn on thinking she really didn’t want to do certain things but did them anyway. Mike said she was open to everything, but again, rarely gave any signal she was “into it” other than when she orgasmed – but even then, her orgasm’s were subdued. Kayla also gave similar feedback in that she got to have a threesome day with Mike and Jill.
Matt reported the both of them enjoyed Swapfest and were open to doing it again sometime. Matt and Jill are both pretty much open to anything anyone suggests.
JAIME AND CHELSEA
I got a day with Jaime and Mike got a day with Chelsea. It was purposeful that Kayla was not paired with Jaime. There’s a little jealousy issue that flares at times with Chelsea regarding Jaime and Kayla. At least Chelsea is open about it and not passive-aggressive. She has a solid friendship with Kayla and they are able to talk to each other about it. Some feelings you can just explain away or easily reconcile and it works out best if everyone just recognizes it and honors those feelings.
Frankly, I believe she feels some jealousy around anyone with Jaime. I was when they agreed to be part of Immersion 2020. I can write an entire post (maybe I did) on how all kink can serves as an amplifier for how one already feels about themselves. Whether submitting, objectifying yourself, swapping, or whatever the kink, said kink can either be a boost to your already high self-esteem, or for those with fragile or low self-esteem, it can create a post-kinky activity drop in your well-being.
Jaime had a threesome with Jill and Chelsea and one-on-one time with Donna, Kim, Jill, and with me. Chelsea had one-on-one time with TJ, Matt, Mike, and another threesome but with me and TJ. It was their first major foray into swapping.
Before Immersion, all of us had a lot of conversations. The entire group of us, various sub-groups of us, and even individual discussions. Communication was important, but doubly so with Jaime and Chelsea. I was concerned this was a bit too “advanced” for where they are in their relationship. What made it worse is that because of Covid, we didn’t get a lot of follow up time to talk with them. We’ve done phone calls, chat, and video conference, but it isn’t the same. I am still concerned that it may have been a bit much for them. Perhaps in some ways, Covid has been a way for them to connect with just each other and stoke their passions as a couple.
In addition to the implications of the swapping, Jaime’s job has been severely impacted. He had a very large commercial contract get postponed that was going to be a major source of income. He had freed up his calendar for that job and had to scramble to find whatever he could to fill the void — and there’s not much out there. So they’ve got the financial concerns to deal with, which tend to be an amplifier of their own!
Sooooo, there you have it. Immersion 2020, P.C. (Pre-Covid).
15 thoughts on “349. Immersion wrap up”
Hi Jenny, I’m new here with a few questions for you. May I contact you by email?
Email is in About. Would love to hear from you.
So… business as usual, huh? You guys have so much fun! It’s the ultimate in relationships that covers the entire spectrum of relationship things, from monogamy (of a kind) to being open, swinging, and polyamorous and in a family setting and, of course, not to forget a most excellent environment that supports kink… but really has something for everyone involved.
In my 20+ year poly relationship, it wasn’t so much about what the four of us were doing as a family but what we learned about each other and, importantly, ourselves. The sex, well, it is whatever it’s gonna be and some folks are pretty vanilla even in this environment and then you have Jennifer and her family but the thing to be noticed more than whatever labels one cares to employ is how Jennifer’s family not only interacts with each other but how they do it which is pretty impressive since the more people you have involved in this, the more chances for discord to happen. Two thoughts: Many hands make fast work… and too many cooks spoil the broth… and both of them are true and the real challenge in this is not to have the second thing happen so much.
Which is exactly why I don’t have a problem pointing people to your blog if they wanna see how this whole thing can work and work well, kinks notwithstanding.
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Thank u. I do believe we have been fortunate but fortune favors the kinky. Uh, okay, that’s not the saying. But it does favor those who are secure in who they are and who are willing to share their feelings and promote an environment where everyone is willing to do the same….respectfully and without judgment. I like to think i have a lot to do with that, but in all honesty, it’s about surrounding yourself with people who are like that. We have a great group of friends. I think I just pick good friends!! Not that they are perfect, but we appreciate each other’s imperfections.
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I found two statements that I could identify with, statements that describe me. I am a 50/50 switch in the percussive arts.
You wrote: I think it is because Mike is a submissive’s Dom versus a Dom’s Dom. That is, he tries to tune into the needs and desires of the other person versus simply imposing his will, their needs and desires be damned. That’s me, if I am not pleasing her, I get nothing out of it.
You wrote about Tim: His submissiveness is limited to certain play and that is it. He takes a more dominant role outside of play. And even in play he could be a bit dominant. He was always very exact in what he wanted and how he wanted it, even getting a little meanness to his tone re, “No, not like that. I want you to…” Hey! At least he didn’t have a problem articulating his desires. That’s the other side of me. I have stopped play more than once because the woman who had assured me she understood, went way the heck off base.
Nice to know that someone else has similar traits.
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Thank u for sharing. It’s always nice to discover, “Wow, so you’re into that too?!” We tend to think negatively of our kinks as if we are the only ones who enjoy certain things. It’s validating to find others with common kink interests. And they are plenty who do!!! Thanks again.
I’m glad you’re well! And I’m glad immersion went well. Stay safe.
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Sounds like good times!
Soon the pandemic will be over, and we’ll all be back to fucking everywhere again. 😀
I’m curious about swinging as a word. You said people don’t call themselves that anymore? Is it considered antique, or does it have other connotations?
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Ah, labels! They are always so tricky. They help us understand while also hurting our understanding. Labels (like any words) can box us in, but are necessary to convey meaning. I can’t speak for others but at least within our COT it isn’t really used. Like any label it carries the baggage of people’s different perceptions and bias. There are elements of accuracy in ones perception and bias, but they tend to miss the mark at fully defining whatever it is being labeled. True understanding is a conversation, not a label. But we must use labels when meaningful dialogue isn’t possible.
We accept what we do falls under the term, but it’s just not a label we connect with. But we aren’t defensive about it if someone wants to call us that. We get it, it is a PART of what we do under certain circumstances.
We’ve never talked within our group about what to call this. You don’t hear the word Swinger used but I think if someone did, no one would object. The more common term you hear among us is “open marriage.” Not that it’s a better term, but for whatever reason we seem to use it over other terms.
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Very well explained. Thank you!