Tag Archives: immersion

273. Immersion 2018

273

You may want to review Immersion 2016 and these three posts on Immersion 2017 (Post 141, Post 145 and Post 151).  This year included some of what we’ve done before and some very extended play (torture) sessions.  And once again for a few days of our Immersion we stayed at the same get-away in the woods as we did last year.   

We named last year’s Immersion “The Forbidden Zone,” and want to have a tradition of naming them as a way to remember them.   Last year we explored some M/s type dynamics and various other kinks that seemed “forbidden” to us previously.  Mike said we would have to just refer to this year’s event as Immersion 2018 – for now.  He has a surprise that will become the nickname, and telling us what it is might ruin the surprise.  So for now, “Immersion 2018” it is.

Oh, and I was using the term “torture” facetiously.  It wasn’t torturing, but it was very physically demanding.  Think full body flog with lots of spanking and whipping – butt, breasts, thighs, palms, feet, you name it.  Then there were extended times of sensory deprivation. Oh yeah, and add in clothespins, and more clothespins, and then some more clothespins, and you will start to get the picture. 

To sum it up in one word – delightful!    Yes, I enjoyed it, as did Kayla and Mike.  And we had some “guest appearances”  that included John and Donna, Matt, and a mystery couple!

MYSTERY COUPLE?
Mike told me and Kayla he had a surprise in store for us.  I never imagined it would involve another person, let alone a couple.  Through John and via FetLife, Mike had met this couple and felt they were perfect for us to explore some new kink territory.

We never got their names.  We referred to him as “Mister,” and her as “Nurse Ann.”  Not having their names added a bit of mystique and additional naughtiness, not that we needed more to make it feel naughty.  

Upon introduction, my first reaction to Mister was, “Wow!”  The first thing I noticed was that he was very muscular – as in, his muscles have muscles.   And once his shirt was off (later), it was no surprise that his abs weren’t a six pack, but an eight pack.    And it wasn’t just the muscles that were striking.  He was handsome and had the perfect “come hither eyes and stare.  And it turned out he was extremely personable and outgoing.   Our guess is that he is in his early 40’s.  Oh, and he is African American.  

Then there was his wife, Nurse Ann.  She is tall, matching Mister at six feet.   She has this Nordic look to her, brunette with milky white skin.  The contrast in skin tone between Mister and Nurse Ann added to their individual beauty.   She isn’t muscular but is fit, and our guess is that she is in her late 30’s.  She didn’t talk much, and when she did, it was always a short, monotoned response.

We were told up front she would not speak much and that Mister would answer most questions.  My initial thoughts that the two of them would be part of some eight-person orgy were quickly laid to rest (me, Mike, Kayla, John, Donna, Matt, Mister, Nurse Ann).  Mister explained the ground rules were that sex would not include Nurse Ann, as she had a specific role to play.  More on her later. 

KAYLA’S DESIRES
I shared before that Kayla has always had this “gang bang” desire where she could have sex with four guys at once.   Yes, we all call it that as that is how Kayla has always referred to it.   While the word is harsh, it is accurate and she wants to own that word (hum…sounds a bit like me and the word
whore, but I digress).

Kayla first shared this desire with us well over a year ago.  Both Mike and I were very cautious about fulfilling her stated desire.  Until now Mike has passed on opportunities to make this happen for Kayla.   Our concerns were that perhaps she had unrealistic expectations about it.    The actual feelings it may evoke could be something very different from the “fantasy” feelings of a loss of control or being treated as a sex object.  

While Mike didn’t consult with me prior to Immersion, we have had talks about Kayla’s growth in general and specifically about her sexual confidence and maturity.   I should dedicate a post to “Tips for Increasing Sexual Confidence.”  As I look back, there are many specific things Kayla did or experienced that helped her with this.  It would be interesting to catalog those things.   Whatever her steps were, Mike felt the time was right to allow Kayla to fulfill this desire.

She was able to fulfill that fantasy with Mike, John, Matt, and Mister.   And if you need a visual, well, as per her fantasy, at one point she had a dick in her pussy and butt, while alternating sucking on two others.  Then, while she was in a missionary position, they each took turns with her until they came.  If orgasms are a good proxy, then she had a fantastic time as evidenced by her three orgasms during it all.

MINI ORGY
By the way, I didn’t have all four men at once.  What do you think I am, a whore?  lol.  No, it just has never been a desire of mine, nor Mike’s – not that I would have been opposed to it if Mike wanted it.  I did have sex with Mister during our mini-orgy.  Is there some official number for when a “mini-orgy” becomes an actual orgy?

During the sex, we (minus Nurse Ann), would sort of rotate in different pairings or threesomes and such.  At any given time I found myself with a dick or pussy in my mouth, or a dick in one orifice or another, or someone’s tongue in my pussy or mouth.  It was delightfully decadent!

And while Nurse Ann was off limits sex-wise, she did get naked and masturbate as she watched.  Was there some other purpose to her being there?   More on that later.

OTHER IMMERSION ACTIVITIES
Mister and Ann were only there one full day, spent the night, and left early the next morning.   John, Donna, and Matt were there for all or part of about three days.   On the days it was just me, Mike, and Kayla, one day included me playing “pet,” just like last year.  I could only walk on all fours, eat out of a bowl, and use a make-shift litter box.   And there was Kayla’s DDlg/ABDL day, which she loved. 

Kayla doesn’t want to do the DDlg full time but since the end of Immersion she has expressed she wants to do this more than just one day a year.   That’s difficult with J in the house, but Mike will look for opportunities.  Also, this year the DDlg had an additional authentic element to it.  More on that later. 

The rental home is in a heavily wooded area and you can’t really see any other houses except for a few spots on the property and even then, it would take binoculars to see anything.  We all were always naked, inside or outside the house.  This didn’t feel as unique or naughty as it did last year. Since adopted naturism, naked is now our default and natural feeling state.

At the rental, Mike also made a temporary open-air out-house that Kayla and I had to use.  In case you are wondering wtf this has to do with anything, the idea behind this is the vulnerability of using the bathroom out in the open and blurring the line between humble and humiliate.

During Immersion we have a “zero tolerance” rule on non-submissive behaviors.  Mike is already strict (we like it that way), but the difference is that during Immersion Mike is looking for the slightest infraction.   And when he finds one, what may warrant a verbal reminder outside Immersion earns us a spanking during Immersion.   The lectures we get are also amped up and denigrating.

Last year we had a rule we could not speak to him unless we were physically touching him – not sexually, but a simple hand on his arm or where ever.  This year he modified this.  We could not speak to him unless we held his hand.  There were some exceptions that Mike would grant, but not many.  There were many spankings for not following this rule as it was very difficult to remember; however, it was a very enjoyable rule.  Such a simple thing, and something we should all do more often.  Touch one another that is, not the spanking part – unless that happens to be your thing too, hee-hee. 

REFLECTION?
I will post separately about my reflections on Immersion 2018.   As I wrote in my prior post, it made me realize that in many significant ways I have arrived at the destination my blogging was driving me towards.    But before I can reflect on Immersion 2018,  I guess I should tell you about the role Nurse Ann had in our event.  Next post!  

Next: 274. Got Milk(ing)? Immersion 2018

272. The end? Doubtful. . .

272

Yeah, I know, I have been lazy when it comes to posting lately.   Uninspired is probably a better word.  Sure, there is the hustle and bustle of summer which always impacts some of my “me” time, but honestly, I just haven’t felt motivated to post.

The good news is today was the start of school – J’s senior year in high school!   However, that increase in “me” time may no translate into more posts.  Here’s why. 

FIZZLE TO MY SIZZLE
I was excited to 
share my path to DD when I first started blogging.  Once shared, my writing then helped me reflect and reconcile various thoughts racing through my mind.   And I needed an outlet for sharing my amazing journey.  Our openness to explore DD led us to experiences that I never could have imagined, both sexual and otherwise.  Blogging has become a self-affirmation exercise and it feels good.  It is liberating and fulfilling to “shout” out important parts of who I am, the choices I make, and the things I enjoy.   This is especially important when much of my life is outside cultural norms.  

I think this was part of what motivated my “Whore” post.  I wanted to own that word, wear it as a badge of honor to take the power away from those who may want to hurl it at me.  

I now realize that to some extent, my self-affirmations have been part of my coming to terms with my need for submission.  I’ve known from the start that I needed DD – I thrive in it, I enjoy it, I am fulfilled by it.   But admitting that wasn’t always easy.  In some ways being submissive was a threat to my own concepts of myself, concepts I was raised with regarding women empowerment.   I responded to this threat by promoting the values of being submissive – in other words, I was promoting my own sense of self.

I felt this threat when I first adopted DD.  Then, I felt it as our relationship with John and Donna progressed and our sexual adventures progressed.  I felt it again when Kayla entered our household, and I felt it again as “My DD” evolved into a “DD for me.”

Blogging has been a self-affirming way to address those threats.   And now?    I love where I am as a wife, mother, lover, friend, person.  I remain passionate about where I am at and for what it requires to maintain it – submission.   I am not threatened by where I am.  I rejoice in having arrived here!  

DD 3.0 INSTALL IS COMPLETE
It’s only been about a year since “my’ DD began evolving from being Domestic Discipline that is 
MINE to Domestic Discipline that is FOR ME (Post 167).  That evolution was fueled by our last Agreement.  And a revelation I had over our recent Immersion is that this evolution is now complete.   

While this gives me a tremendous sense of accomplishment and peace, it has sort of left me with this “meh” feeling about writing.   It’s as if my writing was driving me towards something – a completely unknown destination.  The more I wrote,  the closer I knew I was getting somewhere.   It was a destination I couldn’t describe or see, but one that I would simply recognize when I got there.   I feel I am there now.  Our 2018 Immersion made me realize that.   

THE END?
Similar to how my DD got started, I believe my blog has been a selfish exercise.  I write for me.  I will continue to do so, but probably less regularly.  Maybe something will occur here and there that fills me with that same wonder and amazement that compelled my early desires to write.  Or something sparks that need to “shout it” to you all, as a self affirming declaration to readers.   
My passion for being submissive has not diminished, but it has evolved.  Day-to-day I am so immensely content and secure in my choices (i.e. not threatened) that I don’t have the same drive or need for affirmation. 

MORE TO COME!
HOWEVER. . .  you should know by now that I am quick to embrace a thought or desire and turn it into an actual pursuit.   Thus, I suspect it won’t be long before I need to share my excitement about such pursuits.  That sharing will be complete with what happened, reflecting on it, reconciling it, and affirming my feelings about it.   Yep, I anticipate there will be plenty to write about, but perhaps at slower pace?  Maybe not?

For instance, I still owe you insight into Immersion 2018!

Next post (coming soon), I promise!

Next:  Immersion 2018

270. I am not dead yet!

270

Ha.  My title made me think of Monty Python.  Check into it if you don’t get that reference.    Okay – so, wow!  Almost a month between posts.  My longest ever. 

Sure, summer tends to be busy, but I don’t have any one excuse, so I’ll give you many!  And it wasn’t just my blogging that took a break – I stayed off social media and email for most of that time as well.  

My brother and his wife and their two kids (adults) were in town for a visit.  That was fun, and exhausting.   Then there was that little thing of our 2018 Immersion That was also fun and exhausting in a different way!  lol.   Once I hadn’t posted in while, I realized I was enjoying the break.  It felt nice to just not think about things and give my brain and emotions a break from self-reflecting (blog), self-immolation (Twitter), and self-distraction (everything else online).  Yeah, let’s be honest, Twitter is about killing oneself over trying to address the endless unpatriotic thinking, hate, corruption, evil, and ignorance that seems to be en vogue in a lot of the U.S. right now.  Maybe November can bring in the leadership that can bring about change (jail).  I digress, but Twitter can suck the life out of you. 

I just wanted to say, “I am alive!”   But, actually, haven’t been 100%, which put a damper on some of the Immersion activities.  I’ve been having some on-again off-again issues with my “lady parts” and my doctor recommended a hysterectomy four or five years ago.  Damn fibroids!  

I tried all sorts of natural treatments with some success.  Ultimately those efforts may have bought me some time, but haven’t changed the inevitable.  Pain, pressure, incontinence, constipation, backaches, body aches, you name the symptom, I have dealt with them for years.  And worst of all, it makes sex uncomfortable, sometimes even painful.  Maybe that explains my increased delight over the last few years in butt stuff and oral… hee hee.  Anyway — the symptoms have ebbed and flowed over the years, with some respite in between.  Lately,  it’s all flowing and no ebbing and has been without respite for many months.  I am ready.  I’ll have surgery next month.  

On that happy note, I’ll next share what happened in Immersion 2018. 

Stay tuned!

Post 271.  Unfair exploitative whoring?

258. Planning Immersion III – Surprise, surprise, surprise

Immerse3

We are preparing for our third annual “immersion.”  Check out Immersion 1 (Posts 31, Post 32, and Post 34) and Immersion 2 (Post 150, Post 151, and Post 152). 

J will be spending time at my parents house, our recent-grad, T2, will have already moved out by then, thus we are temporarily empty-nesters.  When the kids are away, the adults shall play!  Um, well, play even more than we already do, we just won’t have to be stealthy about it. 

I went into last year’s immersion invigorated and excited.  This year?  Just not feeling as excited.  I think in some ways I am “explored out.”  There isn’t really anything new I am yearning to explore.  However, I still look forward to it, just not with the same amount of gusto.  I love the intense submission of it all and there are some activities I look forward to repeating. 

I shared this with Mike and he got all giddy and said, “Then I will take it as a challenge to find some new and interesting things for you.”   He reminded me that part of our goal of each immersion is to explore new sensations and experiences to help us all identify and separate what is pleasurable versus tolerable – as well as what is tolerable versus what is intolerable.  

We make it fun and “brand” each immersion with a theme, (last year’s was Entering the Forbidden Zone).  Prompted by my less than stellar enthusiasm, Mike chose the theme this year of “Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!”  I have to admit, it did raise my enthusiasm to have to wait and see what all Mike has in store for Kayla and I.  

Kayla is very excited – much more than I am.  She really loved last years Immersion and still talks a lot about it.  She would prefer more role-playing, age play/ABDL, and humiliation stuff, but that is difficult to do regularly with a child in the house so Immersion is a great time to explore those things.  Mike said we will revisit some of the things we did last year, but he will have some new experiences for us all.   

He once again rented the same place we stayed at last year. Funny, but one of the things that made that place so fun was that it was secluded and we could run around naked outside.  That was such a novelty a year ago and now is like, “but of course!”  Anytime we have the opportunity, naked will be a “go to” state.  Which, speaking of nudism, leads me to something else to share – – – 

NEIGHBORHOOD NUDITY
After our vacation, Mike has gone “all in” on adopting nudity.  He really loves it and appreciates the positive influence it has on J’s behavior.  Mike said it is inconvenient to have to put something on if he needs to go get something from the tool shed, or if any of us simply want to be outdoors in our back yard.  As a result, Mike tasked me with talking to my neighbors and get their permission for us to be naked in our backyard. 

Our yard is pretty well shielded from the neighbors, but there are spots viewable from THREE different neighbors.  Thankfully large trees and the slope of the land hide us from more views.  One of our neighbors is John and Donna, so no problem there.

That leaves TWO other houses with views into our backyard.  Luckily, I know one of these neighbors pretty well and feel comfortable talking to them about this – however, I don’t know the other one real well – and she has the biggest view into our yard.  I have probably talked to her four or five times in 15 years.  Anyway, that will be an awkward conversation.

I’ll let you know how these talks go.  Mike gave me to the end of the week to talk to them. While one of these conversations will be uncomfortable, I think it is wonderful that Mike has embraced this.  It is very un-Mike like.  I think this vulnerability thing is rubbing off on him!  

Next: Post 259 More Mike

125. Kayla’s Immersion (and “slappy” anniversary to me!)

ImmerseK

Wow, almost 3 weeks between posts.  That’s a record for me.  

Couple of reasons for this respite.  Same old, “life got busy” stuff but also we had flu bug hit our house.  First me, then my son.  It probably accounted for about four or five days of being all off schedule.  Then there was just other things we can file under “stuff happens” that kept me at bay.

The most noteworthy item regarding my DD household will, of course, be about Kayla.  But before that….

Slappy Anniversary!
Oh, by the way, March 17 was the two-year anniversary of us adopting a lifestyle of Domestic Discipline!   Still loving it and I can’t imagine myself living any other way!

Okay, back to Kayla…
Her original “contract” is up soon and she has been anxious to update and replace it. She found this “play” checklist that she used to articulate her desires and limits, and suffice to say, there were only a few things on this checklist that she marked “no.”   It really is a well thought out list.  I encourage you to check out it.  

For some of the items it was a “yes, but…” but again, very few no’s.  Kayla has recognized that she has a desire for a much deeper submission a more Master/slave versus Dominant/submissive.  Much like my Submissive Frenzy, and my subsequent M/s immersion, she is craving more subjugation.  Before she codified her terms of subjugation, I strongly encouraged her to have her own M/s immersion.  I wanted her to first experience some of the things she was craving and make sure they really “scratched the itch” in the way she anticipated.  

Spring Break gave us a great opportunity to do this “immersion” as there was a three-day period where J would not be with us.  He and his cousins were spending time at my parents.  Let the immersion begin. 

I am not going to share many details as those details are about Kayla’s journey, not mine. But I will share a few observations.

KAYLA PREPARES
Kayla went in confident that the immersion was an introduction to a new way of living versus just a trail that would soon end.  She prepared herself in some pretty extreme ways. She shaved off all her hair, from head to toe.  She got her nipples and her clit pierced, which is a fun story by itself that I’ll try to remember to post about later.  Just know that Kayla, who can take a spanking like pro, is not fond of needles and didn’t even get her ears pierced until she was 17.   She would tell you that she had more trepidation over getting those piercings than she had about the immersion.  

For me the most extreme things was shaving her head and eyebrows.  She said she wanted to look different and to her it represented starting anew and growing anew.  It was very emotional for her.  She cried when she first looked in the mirror, but not in a sad way.  She said she was overwhelmed with a euphoria and a sort of extra sensory reaction from seeing the visual representation of starting a new journey.   It wasn’t a bawling type of cry.  She was smiling and chuckling as tears streamed down her face.

We got a general agreement as to what she was looking for in her immersion. She didn’t want to give Mike or me too many specific requests or guidelines.  Through the checklist she told us what would be acceptable, plus she went over a range of ‘acts of service” that she wanted to have expected of her, and sexually she said she was completely at Mike’s disposal for anything, any time,  – and anyone – that he commanded.  She wanted to be surprised and have her limits pushed.  So push we did, especially Mike. 

KAYLA’S IMMERSION
I am not comfortable sharing much about it.  I think perhaps in some ways it is because it was more than what I would want for myself, so I have a little harder time connecting to it enthusiastically.  I also had to see Mike be the Master and again, in ways that were more than I would want for him.   I had to keep my mind focused on Kayla’s wishes and focused on her happiness.  Spoiler alert – she was happy with the entire experience.  However, I still don’t have the enthusiasm to write about it, plus, it was such a personal journey for her that I don’t want to risk diminishing it through my own interpretations.  It was something for her and not intended for me, so why risk taking her experience from her through my own analysis of it?  

The things she did and had done to her were very intense, both physically and emotionally. So much so I don’t even want to relive it in writing.  There were a couple of times I told Mike I thought it was too much, but he persisted and said as long as both of us felt Kayla was capable of speaking for herself he would continue until Kayla said she had enough. Half way through the third and last day, Kayla actually relented and called “red” to stop, not just the particular activity, but the immersion.

She went to sleep very early that day and we let her sleep in the next.  She slept for almost 18 hours.  Before she went to sleep we spent a lot of time with her, reassuring, lots of after care, and that continued the next day, and luckily J didn’t come home until late that day.  That gave us pretty much the entire day to focus on Kayla.  

She was chipper, and said she felt refreshed, but a bit sore, like after an intense work out.  We went easy on her for the whole day and pretty much took the day off from any DD.  She reflected positively on the experience and felt very good about reaching her limit.  She had no regrets, which was a relief to Mike and I as we thought perhaps things got a bit too intense.

She said she definitely wants some of the M/s things in her new contract but agreed she doesn’t want to try to live the immersion 24/7.  For one, it just isn’t practical for us, but more importantly, it isn’t what she wants.   She has already shared a draft and has made several edits.  She also wants to plan for another immersion in the summer.  Yikes!  That is asking a lot of Mike.  I plan to somewhat repeat my  M/s immersion from last year.  (J spends at least a week at my parents during the summer).  

It all makes for a funny conversation – talking about how to accommodate Kayla’s submissive needs and desires as well as mine.  If anyone overheard us they would think we are crazy.  Maybe we are!    Crazy happy, that’s for sure! 

NEXT: 126. Catching Up (on spankings and other stuff)

 

 

 

 

 

 

29. A girl has no name – a Submissive Frenzy

Your kinky ideas are needed.  Please read on.

As I watched the latest Game of Thrones episode I kept seeing examples of submission.  

  • The faceless men of Braavos have basically submitted to whatever mysterious order they are a part of.  As part of Arya’s initiation into the order, she must lose herself, and thus, must lose her name.  That’s pretty deep submission.  Of course the upside is you get to shape shift and assume any identity you want so you can be a ruthless assassin, but hey, we all got our kinks.  (This comparison makes me a tad uncomfortable as Arya is only 15 or 16 years old, but hey now, let’s move on).

  • The sect called the Sparrows are very much about submission as well.   They marched Cersei naked through the streets as part of her submission and atonement.  Their goal is to strip a person of everything that is false so that only the truth remains.  Hey, even the High Sparrow has his kinks.

  • The Knights of the Watch are also about acts of submission.  Those who “take the black” give up whatever life they previously had to live the rest of their life on the Wall.   Hey, even the Lord Commander has his kinks.

See a theme here?   I am seeing submission everywhere. 

I’VE GOT SUB FRENZY!
If you read my  last post you’ll know I am struggling with where I want my submission to lead me.   I was fortunate to read a blog about Sub Frenzy and I immediately recognized that is what I am going through.  It’s reassuring to know that it is normal, but that recognition doesn’t lessen the hunger inside of me.

Idea #1:
Mike and I talked about attending some social events in our area that we found on Fetlife.com.  Our thinking is that being around like-minded people and having me be submissive in a more public environment may satisfy my hunger.  That, and there is that opportunity of perhaps finding others I can “perform” for.  I definitely need to do something to satisfy my hunger for submission.

Idea #2
Another thought Mike and I are tossing around is a “submission immersion day.”   We’d make it a one time event on a weekend when our son is at my parents and then see if it should recur each month.  The idea would be to have a really intense 24-hour period of submission.  We’ve thrown around different ideas of what that might look like, and even got some feedback from John and Donna.    I am open to any suggestions if you have any.  Please share!

To give you an idea of where our minds are, here are some ideas we’ve been kicking around. 

  • I could be tied naked to our bed where I can’t move my arms or legs, I am blindfolded, and my ears are covered.  Perhaps earplugs and headphones playing white noise – just so I can’t hear what is going on around me.  Perhaps I am there for an hour or two and at any time Mike can come up and do whatever to me.  Spank, slap, pinch, insert, whatever.  And then he goes away and comes back again whenever.  The sensory deprivation along with the thought of not knowing what he’ll do or when already drives me crazy in a good way. 
  •  Other thoughts was that during our immersion day I would remain naked all day and if I come into a room that Mike was in I could only approach him on all fours and I can not speak at all to him until he gives me permission.

Any other ideas??  Please share?

Next: Post 30. I found my thrill. . .