Tag Archives: immersion

349. Immersion wrap up

349

Time for some kink.

I am not feeling particularly “into it” regarding sharing our fun and frolic, our happiness and hedonism, our ecstasy and excitement, our. . . you get the picture.   I blame the pandemic for that.   I just can’t motivate myself to share that stuff.   Stress and uncertainty seem to bring the worse out of people, especially when people are seizing this opportunity to publicly fan the fears while privately doing all they can to make things worse.   He is just so stupid!   And the fact I don’t even have to say who “he” is, is tragic and sad.  I digress.

Whatever the cause of my own angst, I will be a bit light on the sexual details.  But in typical Jenny verbosity, that doesn’t mean light on other details.  I will also use this as an opportunity to recap and update you on our various friendships as well as give newer readers some background.

IMMERSION BACKGROUND
I’ve written about what is now an annual event we refer to as “Immersion.”  It began as a time we would set aside specifically to “immerse” ourselves into our kinks.  Explore things we were curious about, do things we weren’t necessarily committing to doing all the time, and just have a lot of fun.  By setting a specific and finite time to do this, we felt even freer to explore and push ourselves to try new things in a controlled and loving environment.   This year’s Immersion was in early March, better known as 10 years ago!   Wow, it certainly feels that way!

CIRCLE OF TRUST BACKGROUND
I’ve also written about our ever-expanding “Circle of Trust.”  This is the name we give our collective friends with whom we interact. . . um, er. . . interact as in, have sex with.  Well, it’s the truth, sort of.  It’s more than that, but sometimes not much more than that!   Okay, okay, it’s simply a group of friends where, when together, we don’t hide any of our kinks.  It doesn’t always mean there is sex involved.  Sometimes we might just watch a football game, watch a movie, have a barbecue. . . and then have lots of sex!   Ha!  Really, I am exaggerating.   Yes, there are often sexual activities, but not always, and even less does it involve swapping partners, but that can be part of it at times.

Before Immersion, there were some in the COT that had little to no experience in swinging.  And even today no one identifies as “swingers” and, thanks to Covid-19, none of us have had any follow up “interactions” since Immersion 2020.

Enough background, on to SWAPFEST!

SWAPFEST 2020
No one seems to remember who first pitched the idea for our theme this year, but the idea was simple.  A week-long wife-swap within the COT.  For more on that – 346.  Immersion in the year 2020 p.c. – Swapfest.  

When I refer to a “day” regarding Swapfest, I mean an entire day and overnight stay.  The days typically began at 10 a.m. and ended at 10 a.m. the next day.

RAULE AND VALERIE
Valerie is a former coworker of mine, married over 20 years, empty nester.  They had joined us in the 2019 Immersion where they had their first threesome which was with Donna.   I talk with Valerie now and then and pre-Covid her and Raul would sometimes come over or be part of our Sinday Football.  They limited their threesomes with just Donna and were often comfortable just observing the activities going on around them.   They are the most private of our group and the most reserved.  They opted not to join us in Swapfest.

JOHN AND DONNA
They are our best friends and neighbors I first mentioned back in Post 20.  Pre-Covid we interacted with them several times a week.  And by interact, I don’t mean fucking!  lol.  Well, maybe a little.  I mean, we would often just have dinner together or double-dates or Donna might come by for lunch or I would go to her house for lunch.  We do typical BFF stuff, and maybe sometimes throw in is some BDSM and sex stuff.  Ya’ know, like I stated, typical BFF stuff.

It’s been more than a month since we have met face-to-face with them other than a “hello” in the yard or brief conversations 6+ feet away.  We have done some video calls with them just to stay connected and see how each other is doing.  Platonic stuff.

As for Swapfest

  • I got a day with John as did Kayla. Since I already knew him very well, I can’t say I learned anything new about him.  I spent a lot of time alone with him in their “red room.”  John and Donna have always been more into BDSM than us.  And for me, most “impact play” is not play, but part of discipline as I tend to not mix sex with discipline.  I will dabble in some play and Immersion gave me the opportunity for lots of dabbling with John!   Who knew it could feel so good?  Lol!  John knew just how to do it, too!  Very fun!  Kayla said she had fun as well.

    Donna also had a day with Mike.  I understand Mike also took the opportunity to have extended “impact play” with her.   How thoughtful of Mike to accommodate her love of being whipped all over her body!  hee-hee.  He reported having a lot of fun and enjoying that experience.

TJ AND KIM
I first wrote about them about a year ago.  In that time they have opened up to each other in very dramatic ways regarding their sexual desires.   While oversimplifying it, she was very sexually repressed and the two of them rarely had sex.  

Our “COT” relationship began with her simply watching me and Mike have sex.  I wrote about the details of her sexual awakeningI won’t repeat it here.  It led her to understand she enjoyed being in control, and TJ enjoyed the submissive role!

They joined us in 2019’s Immersion where, for the first time, they got into some level of swapping.    Kim had sex with the women – me, Donna, and Kayla.  And TJ both gave and received oral sex from the women AND I got to try a strap-on on TJ, a first for me!

Throughout the past year, they would come over sometimes for our Football Sindays or otherwise hang out with us.  While there were times there was plenty of sex going on, the action was mostly the two of them having sex in front of everyone else who was having sex.  There were a few times where Kim would have sex with one or more of the women and one or more of the women would peg TJ.   However, Kim never had sex with any of the men and TJ never had anything but oral sex with the women.   That changed with Swapfest: 

  • TJ got a day with me, as well as a day with Kayla and a threesome day with me and Chelsea.  This was the most interesting experience for me because TJ likes to be dominated.  In addition to being pegged, he likes to have his penis slapped and whacked (especially with a ruler he has).   I’ve never been with a man who enjoyed that.  It was fun to sort of switch for a day.  While he enjoys being dominated, I wouldn’t call him submissive.  His submissiveness is limited to certain play and that is it.  He takes a more dominant role outside of play.  And even in play he could be a bit dominant.  He was always very exact in what he wanted and how he wanted it, even getting a little meanness to his tone re, “No, not like that.  I want you to…”  Hey!  At least he didn’t have a problem articulating his desires.

  • Kim got a day alone with Mike, and she also got a threesome with Kayla and John. Kim said that of all the men, she enjoyed her time with Mike the most.  Not because of the sex, but she said he was just more fun and interesting to talk with and “obey” compared to the others.  I may be biased, but Mike IS amazing, so why wouldn’t she feel that way!  I think it is because Mike is a submissive’s Dom versus a Dom’s Dom.  That is, he tries to tune into the needs and desires of the other person versus simply imposing his will, their needs and desires be damned.

  • TJ also had a day with Jill.  Of all the feedback we shared afterward, I think the two of them had the least enjoyable time together.  Their personalities just don’t click together.   Jill is almost too passive, expressionless, and unemotional.  TJ likes the woman to get into it.  That’s just not Jill.  There was no animosity, it was just clear they didn’t connect well.

The full swap experience was new for TJ and Kim.   Afterward they spoke of it in glowing terms – no regrets.  They feel it was a great outlet and made them appreciate each other even more.  They said they were open to the idea of swapping in the future with the caveat it is done while they were in the same room.

Oh – and as for where their kids were during Swapfest — Their eldest headed to the coast for spring break and their middle and youngest went to visit cousins in another state.   The spring break trip got Covid-canceled and their daughter decided to head to the lake where one her friend’s family had a house.  And, thanks to Covid, she ended up coming back earlier than expected, as did the two younger kids. as this was all going on just as Covid was upon us.   We ended Swapfest a little earlier than planned, but still got in all the swapping but didn’t get to some other planned events.

MATT AND JILL
You’ll know Matt as my one-time “boyfriend” of sorts.  Just a handful of dates.  He has been dating Jill now for at least a year.   Jill is a bit of an enigma.  She is quiet and reserved, but highly submissive.  She will tell you things about herself but you really have to pull it out of her.  And she’s very pretty!

As for Swapfest

  • I had a day with Matt while Mike had a night with Jill and a threesome with Jill and Kayla.   My time with Matt was fun but nothing new.  I’ve spent one-on-one time with him previously.   The only difference I noticed is that he is far more comfortable with his kinks and being Dominant than he was when we “dated.”

  • Mike had a hard time reading Jill’s reaction, as we all do.  She will tell you she had a great time, but she speaks so monotone and lacks expression such that there is always a disconnect between what she says she feels and what you feel that she feels.   We’ve come to understand that is just how she’s wired and if you want to know what she is thinking or feeling, you just have to ask, otherwise, she keeps it to herself.   Mike felt her demeanor had its own charm and turn on.  He admitted it was a bit of a turn on thinking she really didn’t want to do certain things but did them anyway.  Mike said she was open to everything, but again, rarely gave any signal she was “into it” other than when she orgasmed – but even then, her orgasm’s were subdued.   Kayla also gave similar feedback in that she got to have a threesome day with Mike and Jill.

Matt reported the both of them enjoyed Swapfest and were open to doing it again sometime.   Matt and Jill are both pretty much open to anything anyone suggests.

JAIME AND CHELSEA
 I got a day with Jaime and Mike got a day with Chelsea.  It was purposeful that Kayla was not paired with Jaime.   There’s a little jealousy issue that flares at times with Chelsea regarding Jaime and Kayla.  At least Chelsea is open about it and not passive-aggressive.  She has a solid friendship with Kayla and they are able to talk to each other about it.  Some feelings you can just explain away or easily reconcile and it works out best if everyone just recognizes it and honors those feelings.

Frankly, I believe she feels some jealousy around anyone with Jaime.  I was when they agreed to be part of Immersion 2020.  I can write an entire post (maybe I did) on how all kink can serves as an amplifier for how one already feels about themselves.   Whether submitting, objectifying yourself, swapping, or whatever the kink, said kink can either be a boost to your already high self-esteem, or for those with fragile or low self-esteem, it can create a post-kinky activity drop in your well-being.

Jaime had a threesome with Jill and Chelsea and one-on-one time with Donna, Kim, Jill, and with me.  Chelsea had one-on-one time with TJ, Matt, Mike, and another threesome but with me and TJ.   It was their first major foray into swapping.  

Before Immersion, all of us had a lot of conversations.  The entire group of us, various sub-groups of us, and even individual discussions.  Communication was important, but doubly so with Jaime and Chelsea.  I was concerned this was a bit too “advanced” for where they are in their relationship.   What made it worse is that because of Covid, we didn’t get a lot of follow up time to talk with them. We’ve done phone calls, chat, and video conference, but it isn’t the same.  I am still concerned that it may have been a bit much for them.   Perhaps in some ways, Covid has been a way for them to connect with just each other and stoke their passions as a couple.

In addition to the implications of the swapping, Jaime’s job has been severely impacted. He had a very large commercial contract get postponed that was going to be a major source of income.  He had freed up his calendar for that job and had to scramble to find whatever he could to fill the void — and there’s not much out there.  So they’ve got the financial concerns to deal with, which tend to be an amplifier of their own!   

Sooooo, there you have it.  Immersion 2020, P.C.   (Pre-Covid).

346. Immersion in the Year 2020 P.C. – Swapfest

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Since I haven’t been posting regularly I plan on continuing doing an update on the people in my life.  I’ve posted about Mike and Kayla, and will share a family-friendly update about my kids, and then our friends within our “Circle of Trust,” and maybe my lunch bunch friends as well.  But before I do, I figured I should cover our 2020 Immersion. 

2020 P.C.?
There is a new way to mark time.  “PC” as in “Pre-Corona.”  (and conversely, AC for “After Corona).  Immersion was right on the cusp of Corona.  In hindsight, much closer than we imagined and we are fortunate we didn’t cause our own outbreak.  Immersion ran from March 6 – March 12, which in Corona time seems like years ago. 

I also want to mention that I put off writing about it because the idea of talking about overindulgent sexual gratification may be insensitive during these trying times.  However, I also feel it may be just the mental break we all need.  Dive into your fantasies and pick some to actually live out with a partner.   One positive of troubling times is that it underscores that that is no time like the present.

IMMERSION?
Our “Immersion” tradition began in 2016 as an idea we came up with to explore and experiment beyond our normal TTWD.   Setting aside specific “exploratory” time to fully immerse ourselves into all things kink is a great way to open your mind to new things.  There’s a psychological benefit to knowing that it is likely temporary and part of an experiment of sorts.   It allows us a greater psychological freedom to really explore our kinks.    

  • Our first immersion was about exploring a Total Power Exchange dynamic where I gave Mike ultimate control over everything.   Keep in mind up to that point we had been practicing a “DD for me” that was about discipline and rules that were on my terms, not Mike’s.
  • Our 2017 Immersion was dubbed “The Forbidden Zone” and was our first immersion with Kayla.   John and Donna even joined in part of it.   We explored all sorts of dynamics from Pet Play, Shibari, DD/lg.
  • For 2018 the theme was “Got Milk?”  Yep, exploring lactation fetish, among other things.   John and Donna also joined us and while we did explore other things, the notable “event’ was the lactation.
  • And last year, it was a group event with the main theme of Con/NonCon.  We jokingly refer to it as Con-NonCon-Con as in Consensual Nonconsent Convention.   The consensus is that this was our least favorite Immersion. No regrets, as Immersion is about new experiences and finding what turns you on or off.   The best part of it was the deepening of friendships within our Circle of Trust.  It had a total of 15 participants, although we weren’t all together at the same time.  

This year?  The theme was SwapFest!.  The idea was to take expand on the best of 2019’s Immersion and use it as an opportunity to better forge individual and collective relationships within our “Circle of Trust.”  We’ve become a very unique group of friends!

CIRCLE OF TRUST (COT)
If you’re new here, our COT is what we call our close group of friends with whom we kink.  This kink can involve swapping partners or various other sexually or kinky oriented play.   The official COT for us includes John and Donna, Matt and Jillian, TJ and Kim, and Jaime and Chelsea.  Auxiliary members include Valerie and Raul, with ad-hoc membership from Mister and Nurse Ann.   A cornucopia of debauchery!

IMMERSION 2020 PC: SWAPFEST
Not sure who exactly came up with the idea.  It was a collective idea that emerged from the guys.   It would include the three of us, of course, along with John and Donna, Matt and Jillian, TJ and Kim, and Jaime and Chelsea.

There was planning involved such that people took time off from work and TJ and Kim arranged for childcare.  TJ and Kim arranged to have all three of their kids visiting or vacationing elsewhere.  

The idea was simple, we would rotate through a mix of “couplings.”  These would be groups of two or three people who would spend the day and night together.  The idea of these swaps would be to get to know each other better and use that time to not only explore new activities but to learn more about each other.  I hope this image displays properly.  It shows how people were paired with each other:

Group

You read it like this – Day 1, Jill and Chelsea spent the day and night with Jaime, while Donna spent it with Mike, I spent it with TJ, Kayla with Matt, and Kim with John.  The women spent the day at the house/apartment of the respective man.  The rules were we (woman) would serve and submit to that man.   As always, limits and safe words were respected.

This was a big deal on many levels.  Not every couple considers themselves swingers.  They may have done some swap/soft swap here and there, but not as a lifestyle.  Not that we were intending for this to start such a lifestyle — it was meant as exploration and play.  But still, it was a big deal for many involved, especially Jaime and Chelsea.  But everyone was excited about it.  

Day 1 started at 10 a.m. when the women went to the homes of “their man.”  It didn’t end until 10 a.m. the next day when the women would go to their “next man.” 

It allowed us to get to know each other in a more meaningful way.  I learned more about certain kinks that some people have.  For instance, TJ surprised me the most in that he liked to be on the receiving end of certain humiliation play and punishments.  I guess I shouldn’t have been that surprised since I knew he liked being pegged, I just didn’t realize what else he was into in that regard.  

Being one-on-one with Jaime was also interesting.  He’s shy and quiet but once he got comfortable he let loose in ways that surprised me.   I could share details, but I think I’ll leave some things to your imagination.   It would take too long to give you a blow-by-blow (both literally and figuratively, hee-hee) of each of my pairings.

The threesomes were also interesting.  I drew one, with Chelsea and TJ.  I was glad I got to be with Chelsea on that one as she didn’t really know what to make of TJ and I was able to help her and keep her feeling safe and secure.   TJ is a freak – and I say that in a non-judgmental affectionate way.  I can enjoy a freak.  I can handle a freak.  Chelsea, well, she was a bit perplexed and unsure at times.   We got through it.  

In addition to my own fun,  Mike and Kayla loved the experience as well.  We all swapped lots of interesting and sometimes funny stories!

We had planned a Day 6 gathering of everyone and canceled it due to the oncoming Corona and the expected early return of Kim and TJ’s kids.   Oh, the things we have had to give up due to this pandemic!   

FILL IN THE ‘IN
Sorry that I was light on the explicit details.  Just know there was a lot of f’in and suckin’ and whippin’ and lickin’ and pokin’ and prodin’ and all sorts of in’in and out’in.   May your imagination run wild!  

Let’s hope life A.C. is as fun and kinky as life P.C.!

NEXT: 347. Update on the Fam

 

330. Immersion 2019 Finale: ConNonCon

329

Immersion was about a month ago.  Plenty of time to reflect on it, but there is no greater impetus for reflection than writing about it.   Thinking through just the right words to convey an experience gives you a new perspective on that experience.

Yes, I know, many of you are saying I am still searching for the “right” words.  Hey, if I say enough of them, some of them are bound to be “right.”  If you know anything about me, it’s that I feel strongly that if you can convey something in fewer words, don’t bother, just say it in more!  I am not much of an editor.

Where were we?

Oh.  Anyway — As I wrote the last post I had this epiphany about kink.  Like major psychological groundbreaking thoughts.  I can’t wait to share them.  But before I thoroughly entertain, enlighten, and inspire you with an esoteric rant, let’s wrap up the kinky stuff that went on at our “Take it to 11” Immersion.

There was really only one activity that lived up to the “Take it 11” billing.  And that was our exploration into Consensual Non-Consent.

TRIGGER WARNING:  I share some rape themes which may be disturbing to some.  Here’s your chance to click away.

CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT

Let’s be straight.  This is rape-play.  Serious stuff.  The first order of business was to make sure we had a mutually agreeable understanding of what it meant.   We all recognized it can be a mind-fuck as much as a physical one, and we weren’t aiming for the former, but also didn’t want it to just be “rough sex.”

So we came up with some ideas that we thought struck the balance we were comfortable with.  In the end, I think what we ended up with was more along the lines of “rough sex” than true ConNonCon.  Pushing, slapping, rough handling and/or restraining of our bodies, vulgar and degrading language, stuff like that.

It was the three of us, plus John, Matt, and his girlfriend, Jillian.  Donna sat that activity out, but she watched.   Each of the participating women took turns, so it was three men on one woman.   And while the first woman (me) was with the three guys the other two (Kayla and Jillian) had to wait outside where they couldn’t hear or see what was going on.

It started first with a talk.  We sort of verbally sketched out a scene, talked again about what was off-limits.  For me, it was choking, punching, and cutting.  It may seem silly to have to articulate some of those limits, but that’s what you have to do to help avoid misunderstandings.  And then we did the scene.

I won’t go into details but to say it was rough.  And while there was no knife-play per se, one was allowed and used as long as it was limited to removal (cutting away) of clothes.  I had never experienced that.  Even though a controlled environment, it was still scary to have your clothes cut off by a long sharp knife.

In the end, I was physically exhausted and sore.  I was surprised how into the scene I got and just how sweaty everyone got.  I really tried hard to get away, which is why I was so sore.  And I don’t mean I wanted to get away – I didn’t.  I just wanted to try.  I would have been disappointed if I succeeded.

On an emotional level, it seemed to strike a balance for me.  A few moments of fear, but not like life-endangering fear.  Just a fear like, “Wow, he’s really getting into this, I hope he’s under control and doesn’t do something stupid.”  That little bit of the unknown was “rapey” enough for me.

We talked afterward — plenty of aftercare — then eventually repeated the process for the next one up, which was Jillian.  Kayla went last.  We didn’t do these all back-to-back as the guys needed time to um… let’s say, “re-charge.”   But over the course of the afternoon, we all got our ConNonCon experience.

The after-care was not just immediately after.  It continued all day and evening long with the guys checking in with us and with us gals checking in with each other.   Everyone reported having a good experience with it, and even today feel the same way.

I didn’t consult the BDSM rule-book, but as I stated, I think our version of this was more along the lines of rough-sex than ConNonCon.   That’s fine.  It seemed to satisfy everyone’s curiosity and cravings.  So no need to have to label it.   Ultimately, I can check that box and leave it open to maybe doing again someday.   Not a “must-have” for me, but not a “never again” either.

And that concludes Immersion 2019!  Looking forward to sharing my reflections and the discovery of what I call “Kink Think.”

Next: 331.  Kinkthink

329. More Immersion 2019: Playing with Friends

329a

This is a continuation of my prior post. No cutesy-intro with a clever non-sequitur this time.  I heard that!!! Who just said, “Since when has Jen been clever?” Was it you?

I am going to have to break this up into two more posts.  That’s how fun Immersion 2019 was!  LOL.

CONSENSUAL NONCONSENT
The ConNonCon was clearly the “big deal” of our Immersion.  It’s what we talked most about leading up to Immersion, and the activity that gave us the most reservations.  Not reservations as in, “people signing up in advance.”  Reservations as in, “concerns.”  Although come to think of it, we did have some advance sign-ups.

I will wait until my next post to share that experience.   Such a tease!!

PLAYING WITH OTHERS
We had a steady stream of guests during our stay at the “place in the woods.”  John and Donna, Matt and Jillian, Mister and Nurse Ann, Kim and TJ, Chelsea and Jaime, and Valerie and Raul.

All 15 of us weren’t together at the same time.  Partly due to each couples personal schedules and party by design.  We felt some of them wouldn’t be comfortable with certain people or things that would be going on and wanted to gear our activities more towards where they were in their kinky journeys.   How thoughtful of us!!

My prior post shared the role Mister and Nurse Ann had in this year’s Immersion in that it was basically a repeat of last year. In addition to the nursing, Kayla and I enjoyed some sex with Mister!   Mister and Nurse Ann spent about half a day with us.

John and Donna spent more than a day and spent one of the nights with us.  We didn’t explore anything dramatically new in our “friendship” sans the ConNonCon.  So yeah, a lot of swapping around and 5-person group stuff.   Typical boring routine.

Kim and TJ spent an entire day with us but didn’t spend the night, arriving early one morning and leaving late that evening.  John and Donna were there for about half of the day that Kim and TJ were there.

Kim has basically taken on a Domme role with TJ.  I’d call it, Domme-light…or maybe Domme-medium?  Definitely the top in the relationship.   Kim and TJ looked to our Immersion as their own excuse to try more new stuff.  Kink is still very new to them.  4 months ago they rarely had sex and when they did it was “akin to a funeral procession and now… it’s a circus.”  (Those are Kim’s words, not mine).

While we have had sex in front of each other, up until Immersion Kim and TJ didn’t directly play with others.  The did that day.  Me, Donna, and Kayla all had sex with Kim.  At first Kim said TJ could not touch another woman, but eventually relented and allowed him to perform and receive oral.  Turns out she didn’t do it out of any objection to sharing him.  She just wanted to tease and torture him a bit.

The new experience for me was that Kim let me try out her strap-on on TJ.  I’ve never fucked a guy before!  I am still not sure how I feel about it.

I’ve used a strap-on on Kayla and Donna before.  I like it – not tops on my list but definitely not averse to it.  But on a man?  I felt disconnected.  I guess it just feels too dominating for my submissive tastes.  And the fact it was TJ had something to do with it.  He’s a bit odd in my book.  I am not emotionally attached to him in any way.   Oh well, at least I can check that off the fuckit list!

Kim did say that Those Things We Did (as we now refer to our Immersion activities with them), were limited to Immersion.  She didn’t want them to be part of our regular interactions.  Just experimenting and having fun and now the experiment and fun are over.  Well, at least the experiment part, and she added, “…at least until next time.”

 Chelsea and Jaime joined us one mid-afternoon to the evening when it was just me, Mike, and Kayla.  There’s a bit more to this story that I need to post about regarding Chelsea’s and Kayla’s trip to New York that was part of our graduation gift to Kayla.   Let’s just say there was a little friction in our collective friendship, but not to the point that Chelsea and Jaime weren’t welcomed, nor did it preclude them from wanting to come.

Immersion helped us put that friction behind us.  The five of us rarely get together.  It’s mostly Mike talking/texting with Jaime, or Mike going over to their place to help Jaime with an issue related to DD.  Mike is clearly Jamie’s mentor, and in mentoring Jaime also ends up mentoring Chelsea to some degree.  Chelsea has a massive crush on Mike, which is part of the friction I referred to and will cover on another post.  Kayla also goes out a lot with Chelsea and sometimes with both Chelsea and Jaime.  Up until Immersion the three of them never had sex together.   Immersion changed that.

The three of them had a threesome.  Neither I nor Mike participated in that.  There was talk of Chelsea having sex with Mike, but Jaime never seemed fully on board.  Mike could sense it and had the restraint to squash the idea.  It’s complicated to explain, but if it doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right.

Valerie and Raul joined us for an early dinner and hung out for the evening before heading home.  I shared before that they’ve been seeking a threesome but hadn’t found the right person.  I always thought Donna would be a good fit for them.  I’d be happy to help a friend out myself, but I think it would mess with our friend vibe and our vibe when we hung out with our other mutual friends.  Plus, I just sense Valerie doesn’t look at me that way or has hang-ups about Raul having sex with me.   Whatever, I respect it.

As part of inviting them to our Immersion, I explained what it was.  If they joined us, the idea was they would explore their own kinks.  It didn’t mean they had to have sex with us – it could just be something the two of them explore.   No rules about what they were expected to do with whom, just that they should look at it as an opportunity to explore.  Basically, I explained the full menu and they could order a la carte.

Long story short – they had a threesome with Donna.   Details at 11.

Just kidding.  This post is long enough.  Use your imagination.  I have to because I wasn’t invited and wasn’t there to witness it.  But I did get the first-hand accounts and get to see the after-glow.  Apparently, it went well!

Phew.  If our Circle of Trust gets any larger, I’ll need to rent an auditorium!  Maybe get some sponsors, vendors, and side-shows.   Immersion-Con 2020!   Are you in?

328. Immersion 2019: Take it to 11

328

I wish I hadn’t taken the break from posting.  I find it difficult to post about something that is “old news” to me.  I enjoy writing “in the moment” where I am still in awe of what happened or still trying to reconcile what it all means.   By now my Immersion is like, “Yep, that happened, no biggie.”

I’ll at least give you the Cliff Notes.  Are those even still around?  Am I showing my age, which, by the way, is now 50!   Yep!  And that’s good cause for an old-fashion Jenny rant about reflecting on life, aging, and a host of other mid-life issues.  As much as I know you would prefer a rant, I am instead going to indulge myself and write about kink.  Yeah, I know, boring, right?  Don’t worry, (I know you are worried).  I’ll rant some other time.

As I mentioned in my prior post, we once again held our annual Immersion, where we take a headfirst dive into exploring our sexual and kinky boundaries (emphasis on the “head” in headfirst, hee-hee).    This was our fourth such “Immersion” which this year we themed, “Take it to 11.”

MISTER AND NURSE ANN
Mister and Nurse Ann joined us for an afternoon like they did last year. We stayed in touch with them since last year.  They’ve been over to our house a few times as well as over to John and Donna’s.  We got to know them well enough that Nurse Ann even made a few visits to our house by herself just to breastfeed Kayla.

BTW, it’s been about a year since Kayla seriously explored age play.   I believe I wrote somewhere that over time she progressed, or sort of “aged-up” from a near infant-like play to more toddler.  She continued that progression and most play puts her about 5 years old.  She will still jump around a bit, and clearly, the breastfeeding is more infant-like.  I won’t re-hash this topic since I covered it in last year’s Immersion post, 274. Got Milk(ing)? Immersion 2018.  It was pretty much a repeat of that.

Oh, so you can mark your scorecard, yes, it included us having sex with Mister. hee-hee.

TAKE IT TO 11
Our “Take it to 11” activities were the “new ground” that we wanted to experiment with during Immersion 2019.   It involved a variety of things, most notably more Master/slave exploring, more BDSM, and the most daring one for us, playing around with “Consensual non-consent.”

MASTER/slave Exploring
There was some of what we’ve done before.  Again, you can refer to last year’s post for that stuff.   Orgasm denial was something new.  Not that any of us are against it, it just never resonated as something we wanted to explore, until now.

It is its own unique form of torture and pleasure.  Being on edge for four hours is as painful as it is pleasurable.  And when I was allowed to release, let’s just say it was intense.  Intense enough that I emptied my bladder as well.  I’d love to say it was because it was THAT intense of an orgasm, but perhaps I’m getting a bit incontinent in my advancing age.  I digress.

Honestly, I would chalk it up to it being THAT intense.  I was verbally louder than I’ve ever been, I shook more than usual, got lightheaded, and yeah, spilled the pee as well! The aftershocks went on for about ten minutes.

Kayla had a harder time with denial.  She’s always been very orgasmic and can orgasm without being touched.  She often orgasms just from giving head.  Mike had to really back off on the stimulation with her and she came many times without permission and was punished accordingly.

I guess since I sort of “mastered” the course, Mike isn’t that interested in adding this to our routine.  That’s fine with me.  It was fun but not something I crave.   Unfortunately (or fortunately?) for Kayla, this is something she will be repeating (and already has).

I got an email from someone recently who follows this blog that wrote of essentially “orgasm training” where, like Pavlov’s dog, he trained his wife or girlfriend to be able to cum on demand by using the sound of his voice.  I mentioned this to Mike and he had this grin like, “That’s it, that’s what I’ll work on with Kayla!”   Sorry, Kayla.  Or maybe not.  I think she’s going to enjoy it.

Another M/s type things we did that was new was . . . I am not sure how to best describe it. . . We spoke poorly of ourselves?   Basically, that we were nothing more than objects for Mike’s pleasure and expressed no will of our own other than to serve him, be his slave, his cunts, his whores.   Yeah, we did that.

Like a lot of things we do during Immersion, I can do it knowing it is part of exploring and likely for a limited time.  It’s not my thing and isn’t going to become my thing – not that there’s anything wrong with it if it’s your thing.  Honestly, I had a hard time doing it without laughing at times because it just seemed silly to me.  Clearly, I didn’t connect to that on a submissive level.  More power to you if it connects with you.

Kayla likes the “deeper/darker” stuff more than I do, but she didn’t particularly like the self-degradation or degradation from Mike.  She loves to serve Mike and be under his authority, but she thrives with the “warm stuff.”  She loves the hugs, the “good girl” and all the affirmations that Mike regularly gives her.

MORE BDSMRope.  Lots of rope.  
Mike researched Shibari, (and as he learned, more correctly known as Kinbaku), which are Japanese rope tying techniques.  He was anxious to apply the research.  BTW, here’s some info he liked about the type of rope of use.

There are all sorts of tips and safety measures you should learn about.  Just search Shibari and you can find the details.  I won’t go into them here.

I don’t particularly like being suspended or restrained beyond just my hands tied.  Although I liked the breast bondage stuff.  Shibari seemed like an awful lot of work and time for minimal pleasure.  I guess I am just not rope-bunny material.

Mike enjoyed the challenge of figuring out the various ties but admitted that in the end, he wasn’t that turned on sexually.   Kayla loves to be restrained but said she is good with the handcuffs, bed restraints, and spreader bars we already use.  Maybe it just requires more practice or we went about it the wrong way?  Any thoughts out there?

MORE BDSM – Wax on.  Wax off.
We also spent several hours in wax play.  We did this with some of our guests, which I will write more about later.   While we’ve done a little wax play here and there, we did a lot of wax play during Immersion.  Practically several full-body waxings as well as playing with different types of wax of different temperatures.

We all enjoyed it and have always enjoyed it when we’ve dabbled in it.  Frankly, for whatever reason, it’s more of a social thing for us.  We’ve done it many times with John and Donna, but rarely as part of play between the three of us.   I’m sure that’s normal whenever a bunch of friends get together.  “Hey, let’s all get naked and pour wax on each other!”   Well, normal for us anyway.

CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT & PLAYING WITH OTHERS
These two topics overlap because our “ConNonCon” also included playing with others.
As this post is long enough, I’ll cover those last two parts of our Immersion in another post.   Here’s a hint though.  It includes a lot of sex.   Surprised?   No?   What kind of person do you think I am?   Oh… that kind?   Well, okay, you’re right.

Next: 329. More Immersion 2019: Playing with Friends

327. When the kids are away, the adults shall play

327

So much to share since my time away from blogging.  Let’s dive in and see where I take this. . .

Our son, J, is working on T1’s and E’s farm as a farmhand.  He has his own room at their place but he still looks at it as “just visiting.”  He keeps his room here at home and has been home about every other weekend for maybe 3-4 day stretches.  He is feeling so grown up as he gets paid for his work.  He also works for E’s cousin’s.  It’s such a perfect fit for him.  I am a bit concerned that it’s a lot to ask of T1 and E, but they enjoy his company and he is thriving.

WE ARE PRACTICALLY AN EMPTY NEST. 
As I first wrote about in Post 319, this has had a significant impact on TTWD.   And before I get into that, it has also had a big impact on Mike and me.   While J has spent time away from us before, he hasn’t done it for such long stretches and never where we were so 100% comfortable in knowing his needs were being fully addressed.   It’s like a tremendous responsibility has been lifted from our shoulders.  Clearly, we still feel accountable for providing him all that he needs, but we no longer feel 100% responsible for being the ones to provide it at every moment.

AS FOR TTWD!?!
Obviously, it’s made things easier.  No need to hide, no need to muffle and mute various noises.   Yes, immediate spankings have increased as there is no need to defer discipline after J is asleep or out of the house and no need to have to do things in the privacy of our bedroom.

And it’s not just discipline that can occur “in place.”  Sex can also go on in previous rare or off-limit locations.  Kitchen, couch, by the front door, in the garage, you name it.  Any place is fair game if the mood strikes.   I think collectively Kayla and I set several new records for the number of blow jobs Mike received in one day. Oh my!   And then, there was Immersion 2019!

IMMERSION 2019
For the fourth year, we set aside some time to venture beyond our normal boundaries for the sake of fun and exploration.   It was yet another learning experience that was a mix of fun and craziness that served to solidify some existing boundaries and break down others.

What is Immersion?  Check out our 2016 Immersion, or 2017, or 2018.

And like last year, Mike rented the “place in the woods” where we could get a change of scenery.  What didn’t change is the exploration and debauchery!  It’s become our custom to “name” our Immersions.  2017 was “The Forbidden Zone” and last year was “Got Milk?”  This year, it was “Take it to 11

TAKE IT TO 11
When we sat down to talk about what we wanted from Immersion we all agreed that we would love to repeat as much of last year’s activities as possible –  and add to them! –
We wanted to push and even cross the line between humble and humiliation, shame and degradation. (Post 178 talks about the differences).    All three of us had this “go for it” energy and desire to just go crazy.   Hey, whoever  said, “Too late, you already are.”  I heard that!

We also enjoyed the “guests” we had had last year.  John and Donna, Matt, Mister and Nurse Ann.  Thus we extended invitations to them, including Matt’s girlfriend, Jillian.  And we asked Kim and TJ, Valerie and Raul, and Chelsea and Jaime.   15 kinksters gathering in a secluded get-away sounds like a set up for an X-rated sitcom.  Well, that sounds about right!

To be honest, while all of them took us up on the invite, they weren’t all together at the same time.  That was partly due to their own availability and partly intentional on our part.  They are each at different stages of their own exploration and frankly, it wouldn’t work to have them all together.

To keep this short and to the point

  • We repeated practically every aspect of what we did last year, Got Milk and all!
  • The three of us added some “Take it to 11” activities, exploring BDSM and deeper M/s activities (including consensual non-consent).  Further convincing me such activities are NOT for me regarding a day-to-day dynamic but still fun on a limited-time-only basis.
  • We had different levels of playtime with our varying combination of guests.  Each providing some salacious tales to tell.

Each bullet item is a post by itself.  I think that third bullet could be multiple posts, depending on the level of detail I provide.   As for the first bullet, just re-read the posts last year to refresh your memory –  273 and 274.   As for the other two items – well, that will have to be for another post.

Next: 328: Immersion 2019: Take it to 11

273. Immersion 2018

273

You may want to review Immersion 2016 and these three posts on Immersion 2017 (Post 141, Post 145 and Post 151).  This year included some of what we’ve done before and some very extended play (torture) sessions.  And once again for a few days of our Immersion we stayed at the same get-away in the woods as we did last year.   

We named last year’s Immersion “The Forbidden Zone,” and want to have a tradition of naming them as a way to remember them.   Last year we explored some M/s type dynamics and various other kinks that seemed “forbidden” to us previously.  Mike said we would have to just refer to this year’s event as Immersion 2018 – for now.  He has a surprise that will become the nickname, and telling us what it is might ruin the surprise.  So for now, “Immersion 2018” it is.

Oh, and I was using the term “torture” facetiously.  It wasn’t torturing, but it was very physically demanding.  Think full body flog with lots of spanking and whipping – butt, breasts, thighs, palms, feet, you name it.  Then there were extended times of sensory deprivation. Oh yeah, and add in clothespins, and more clothespins, and then some more clothespins, and you will start to get the picture. 

To sum it up in one word – delightful!    Yes, I enjoyed it, as did Kayla and Mike.  And we had some “guest appearances”  that included John and Donna, Matt, and a mystery couple!

MYSTERY COUPLE?
Mike told me and Kayla he had a surprise in store for us.  I never imagined it would involve another person, let alone a couple.  Through John and via FetLife, Mike had met this couple and felt they were perfect for us to explore some new kink territory.

We never got their names.  We referred to him as “Mister,” and her as “Nurse Ann.”  Not having their names added a bit of mystique and additional naughtiness, not that we needed more to make it feel naughty.  

Upon introduction, my first reaction to Mister was, “Wow!”  The first thing I noticed was that he was very muscular – as in, his muscles have muscles.   And once his shirt was off (later), it was no surprise that his abs weren’t a six pack, but an eight pack.    And it wasn’t just the muscles that were striking.  He was handsome and had the perfect “come hither eyes and stare.  And it turned out he was extremely personable and outgoing.   Our guess is that he is in his early 40’s.  Oh, and he is African American.  

Then there was his wife, Nurse Ann.  She is tall, matching Mister at six feet.   She has this Nordic look to her, brunette with milky white skin.  The contrast in skin tone between Mister and Nurse Ann added to their individual beauty.   She isn’t muscular but is fit, and our guess is that she is in her late 30’s.  She didn’t talk much, and when she did, it was always a short, monotoned response.

We were told up front she would not speak much and that Mister would answer most questions.  My initial thoughts that the two of them would be part of some eight-person orgy were quickly laid to rest (me, Mike, Kayla, John, Donna, Matt, Mister, Nurse Ann).  Mister explained the ground rules were that sex would not include Nurse Ann, as she had a specific role to play.  More on her later. 

KAYLA’S DESIRES
I shared before that Kayla has always had this “gang bang” desire where she could have sex with four guys at once.   Yes, we all call it that as that is how Kayla has always referred to it.   While the word is harsh, it is accurate and she wants to own that word (hum…sounds a bit like me and the word
whore, but I digress).

Kayla first shared this desire with us well over a year ago.  Both Mike and I were very cautious about fulfilling her stated desire.  Until now Mike has passed on opportunities to make this happen for Kayla.   Our concerns were that perhaps she had unrealistic expectations about it.    The actual feelings it may evoke could be something very different from the “fantasy” feelings of a loss of control or being treated as a sex object.  

While Mike didn’t consult with me prior to Immersion, we have had talks about Kayla’s growth in general and specifically about her sexual confidence and maturity.   I should dedicate a post to “Tips for Increasing Sexual Confidence.”  As I look back, there are many specific things Kayla did or experienced that helped her with this.  It would be interesting to catalog those things.   Whatever her steps were, Mike felt the time was right to allow Kayla to fulfill this desire.

She was able to fulfill that fantasy with Mike, John, Matt, and Mister.   And if you need a visual, well, as per her fantasy, at one point she had a dick in her pussy and butt, while alternating sucking on two others.  Then, while she was in a missionary position, they each took turns with her until they came.  If orgasms are a good proxy, then she had a fantastic time as evidenced by her three orgasms during it all.

MINI ORGY
By the way, I didn’t have all four men at once.  What do you think I am, a whore?  lol.  No, it just has never been a desire of mine, nor Mike’s – not that I would have been opposed to it if Mike wanted it.  I did have sex with Mister during our mini-orgy.  Is there some official number for when a “mini-orgy” becomes an actual orgy?

During the sex, we (minus Nurse Ann), would sort of rotate in different pairings or threesomes and such.  At any given time I found myself with a dick or pussy in my mouth, or a dick in one orifice or another, or someone’s tongue in my pussy or mouth.  It was delightfully decadent!

And while Nurse Ann was off limits sex-wise, she did get naked and masturbate as she watched.  Was there some other purpose to her being there?   More on that later.

OTHER IMMERSION ACTIVITIES
Mister and Ann were only there one full day, spent the night, and left early the next morning.   John, Donna, and Matt were there for all or part of about three days.   On the days it was just me, Mike, and Kayla, one day included me playing “pet,” just like last year.  I could only walk on all fours, eat out of a bowl, and use a make-shift litter box.   And there was Kayla’s DDlg/ABDL day, which she loved. 

Kayla doesn’t want to do the DDlg full time but since the end of Immersion she has expressed she wants to do this more than just one day a year.   That’s difficult with J in the house, but Mike will look for opportunities.  Also, this year the DDlg had an additional authentic element to it.  More on that later. 

The rental home is in a heavily wooded area and you can’t really see any other houses except for a few spots on the property and even then, it would take binoculars to see anything.  We all were always naked, inside or outside the house.  This didn’t feel as unique or naughty as it did last year. Since adopted naturism, naked is now our default and natural feeling state.

At the rental, Mike also made a temporary open-air out-house that Kayla and I had to use.  In case you are wondering wtf this has to do with anything, the idea behind this is the vulnerability of using the bathroom out in the open and blurring the line between humble and humiliate.

During Immersion we have a “zero tolerance” rule on non-submissive behaviors.  Mike is already strict (we like it that way), but the difference is that during Immersion Mike is looking for the slightest infraction.   And when he finds one, what may warrant a verbal reminder outside Immersion earns us a spanking during Immersion.   The lectures we get are also amped up and denigrating.

Last year we had a rule we could not speak to him unless we were physically touching him – not sexually, but a simple hand on his arm or where ever.  This year he modified this.  We could not speak to him unless we held his hand.  There were some exceptions that Mike would grant, but not many.  There were many spankings for not following this rule as it was very difficult to remember; however, it was a very enjoyable rule.  Such a simple thing, and something we should all do more often.  Touch one another that is, not the spanking part – unless that happens to be your thing too, hee-hee. 

REFLECTION?
I will post separately about my reflections on Immersion 2018.   As I wrote in my prior post, it made me realize that in many significant ways I have arrived at the destination my blogging was driving me towards.    But before I can reflect on Immersion 2018,  I guess I should tell you about the role Nurse Ann had in our event.  Next post!  

Next: 274. Got Milk(ing)? Immersion 2018