380. Our Domestic Discipline Contract v3.2

I’ve said this before but it is worth stating again. I strongly believe in having a written Agreement regarding Domestic Discipline, D/s, or however you categorize your relationship. In fact, even if it is a Vanilla Agreement!

The most valuable thing about an Agreement is not about formulating specific rules and expectations, or even about clearly documenting each other’s commitment. IT IS ABOUT THE PROCESS OF DOING SO.

I think EVERY relationship would find tremendous benefits in sitting down and codifying what they agree to as to roles and responsibilities, and the desires and expectations they have of themselves and of the other person. That process is nothing short of mind-blowing! Even if, after you go through it, you trash the Agreement. It isn’t the Agreement that matters, it’s the process of getting to the Agreement that matters most.

The process requires a level of communication, transparency, and. . . wait for it. You know what’s coming. It’s my favorite relationship word of all time. You know it. You are already saying it. Yep, it’s Fuckability!

LOL. Of course not. It’s VULNERABILITY!

Although, the more of the latter in a relationship, the more of the former you present to each other!

I will post a few of the things we changed in my follow up post but want to mention that, thanks to the inspiration from comments on my prior post, we renamed the “Negotiation” section to “Confirmation.” The new term evokes a concept of mutually reviewing, verifying, adjusting, adding, removing, exploring, and agreement. You might say that this is just stupid. Well, words are power, and, I know you are, but what am I?

DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE CONTRACT

WordPress made a mess of the numbering and other formatting. This was done from a cut-and-paste from Word and clearly the Gutenberg (Block) editor doesn’t like that because, well, because why make this easy? Thanks, WordPress!

  1. Purpose
  2. Definitions
  3. Effective Date, Term, and Confirmation
  4. General Duties and Obligations
  5. Jennifer’s Specific Duties and Obligations
  6. Discipline
  7. Maintenance Sessions
    Exhibit A:  Mantras

Whereas Michael and Jennifer voluntarily and without pressure from the other or from anyone else, are entering into a loving, caring, and consensual agreement to codify and reinforce their commitments, duties, and obligations to one another for the Purpose stated below.

SECTION I. PURPOSE

This Agreement codifies Jennifer’s desires to conduct herself in ways that serve Michael and allows her to live the life she desires for herself – a life of living and loving every moment, every day, with purpose, fulfillment, and love.  

This Agreement codifies Michael’s desires to conduct himself in ways that demonstrate acceptance, support, and love for Jennifer’s desires to serve him.

Michael’s statement of intent: Jennifer, my love for you is absolute.  No limits.  No conditions. No judgments.  I admire, respect, cherish, and love all that you are and all that you do for me and our family.  I commit to always treating as you wish to be treated.  Thank you for the immeasurable trust and confidence you place in me.  Most importantly, thank you for loving me.  I intend to consistently adhere to your wishes in helping you live the life you strive to live and to be the person you strive to be.

Jennifer’s statement of intent: Michael, I found the perfect partner in life in you.  Words will never fully express my thanks, joy, admiration, fulfillment, and love that I receive from you and feel towards you every second of every day.  I wholeheartedly enter into this Agreement with you as yet another chapter in my desire to submit to you.  I look forward to consistently making choices that fulfill all my commitments to you with your leadership to guide me, lift me, and correct me when I do not.  I dedicate myself to you as my love, respect, and trust in you are without end.  It is my unqualified intent to be accountable to you for any and all of my behaviors.

SECTION II. DEFINITIONS

DISOBEDIENCE:
 A violation by Jennifer of her Duties and Obligations. 

DISCIPLINEA consequence of Jennifer’s Disobedience. Other commonly understood terms for such consequences include but are not limited to “correction,” “discipline,” “correction,” “punishment,” and “reprimand.” The forms of Discipline are specified in Section VI.7.

CONFIRMATION: A process of mutually reviewing, verifying, adjusting, adding, removing, exploring, and agreeing on all aspects of this Agreement to make certain it best reflects the desires of Michael and Jennifer.  

MAINTENANCE:  A meeting, ideally weekly but as mutually agreed upon, between Michael and Jennifer to discuss topics either party wishes to discuss. 

HONESTY:  A behavior that lacks embellishment, deceit, disingenuousness, or withholds whole or

OBEDIENCE: Behavior that demonstrates submission to Michael’s authority in compliance with this Agreement.


SECTION III. EFFECTIVE DATE, TERM, AND CONFIRMATION

  1. TERM and TERMINATION: Michael and Jennifer agree to these terms effective March 17, 2021.  These terms remain valid until March 17, 2024 (“Termination Date”). This Agreement shall terminate on March 17, 2024, unless amended as mutually agreed upon.
  2. CONFIRMATION DATE: Michael and Jennifer shall meet starting no later than February 17, 2021 (“Confirmation Date”), to begin confirmation of a new agreement. If the parties are unable to meet by the Confirmation Date or are unable to complete the Confirmation on that day, both parties must mutually agree on alternative and or additional Confirmation Date(s).
  3. CONFIRMATION MEETING:  Michael and Jennifer will discuss and agree upon any desired changes to this Agreement.  It is not a critique of anyone’s past performance under the Agreement and discussions are focused on what is desired for the future. Michael will call the meeting to order by declaring, “Confirmation of our Domestic Discipline Agreement shall now begin.”
  4. SUSPENSION OF THIS AGREEMENT: Upon Michael’s declaration that Confirmation has begun, all aspects except Section III of this Agreement are suspended.  Jennifer enters Confirmation on equal terms as Michael, no longer submissive to him.  Jennifer speaks first to recognize that she is the primary author of this Agreement and can consider Michael’s input at her discretion.  If Confirmation must continue into a second or subsequent meetings, Jennifer will declare, “This Confirmation will continue on {stated date and/or time} and I am once again bound by our existing Agreement.”  Upon that declaration, the Suspension of this Agreement ends and the existing Agreement is in full effect until Michael calls the next Confirmation meeting to order.  Once this Agreement is signed, Jennifer will then declare, “This Confirmation is now over and I am bound by our new Agreement.”

SECTION IV. GENERAL DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS

  1. FOR JENNIFER: Jennifer shall, at all times, be Honest, Obedient, and Safe in her daily life, and to adhere to all aspects regarding the moral commitments she has made under this Agreement.  Jennifer shall defer to Michael’s judgment in determining if her behavior is Disobedient and defer to Michael’s judgment in determining proper Discipline.  If Jennifer has any concerns about Michael’s execution of her Discipline, she will accept that Discipline and respectively discuss her concerns during Maintenance Sessions.  Jennifer accepts Michael’s commands not because she is any less than Michael, but because Jennifer accepts Michael’s authority over her.
  2. FOR MICHAEL: Michael shall strive to never hesitate to hold Jennifer accountable for any behavior that is not consistent with her Duties and Obligations.  Michael commits to communicating his expectations and desires with Jennifer, however prurient, patriarchal, or misogynistic they may be interpreted by Jennifer or others as long as those expectations and desires are consistent with this Agreement.  Michael will strive to be stern and maintain a somber and serious tone in administering Discipline.

SECTION V. JENNIFER’s SPECIFIC DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS

Jennifer’s Duties and Obligations consist of (A) Honesty, (B) Obedience, and (C) Safety.

  1. HONESTY:  Jennifer’s shall always be unquestionably honest with Michael, behaving in a way that cannot be disputed or doubted.  Jennifer shall always treat others with honesty, subject to Section V. 3.2.Evaluating her honesty is at Michael’s discretion.  Any doubt Michael has to Jennifer’s honesty is sufficient to be labeled as dishonest.  

  2. OBEDIENCE: Includes (1) Respect Michael as Head of Household, (2) Physical Self Care, (3) Emotional Self-Care, (4) Finances

    1. RESPECT MICHAEL AS HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD consists of 10 (ten) components: a) Respectful Tone, Acknowledgement, and Demeanor, b) Promptness, c) Sexual Obedience, d) Homemaker, e) Mantras, f) Availability and Awareness, g) Permission, h) Deference, i) Loyalty, j) Assignments.
      1. Respectful Tone, Acknowledgement, and Demeanor:  Jennifer shall maintain, at all times, whether in public or in private, a respectful tone in speaking to Michael; avoiding a tone that Michael interprets as rude, dismissive, frustrated, irritated, impatient, or is in any way displeasing to him; responding to Michael with “Yes Sir” or “No Sir” or “Thank you, Sir” as appropriate; never cuss at Michael.
      1. Promptness: Jennifer shall do what Michael expects or tells her to do without hesitation and without body language that Michael may interpret as rude, dismissive, or that conveys that Jennifer is in any way inconvenienced by Michael’s request, or is in any way displeasing to Michael, no matter the time or place of his request.
      1. Sexual Obedience: 
        1. Michael may demand any sexual or physical activity to be performed upon or by Jennifer on him or any other person, anytime and anywhere, and Jennifer shall comply without hesitation.  Anything.  Anyone.  Anytime.  Anywhere.  Without hesitation.   Jennifer is not allowed to have sex with anyone other than Kayla without Michael’s express permission.  Jennifer may use the next Maintenance Session to air her concerns and request any modifications or cessation of a particular act that Michael demanded.  Michael shall comply with Jennifer’s request
        1. Jennifer must share with Michael all of her sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies.
        1. Jennifer’s orgasms belong to Michael.  She must always ask if she has permission to orgasm and is allowed to asked repeatedly even when the answer has been no, as Michael may change his mind.  Jennifer can only orgasm when given permission to do so by If Michael is not present during Jennifer’s sexual activity, whether she is alone or with someone else, Michael must provide permission in advance else Jennifer is not to orgasm.
      1. Homemaker: Jennifer shall remain joyfulscheduled, and optimized regarding homemaker duties which include all household chores regarding organization and cleanliness, and presentability.
        1. Joyful: Jennifer shall always perform her homemaker duties in joyful manner, never behaving in a way that Mike interprets as burdensome, inconvenient, or unsatisfying. 
        1. Scheduled: Jennifer shall create, maintain, and adhere to a written schedule of chores, errands, events, sexual activities (including masturbation), and submit the schedule and any changes for Michael’s editing and approval.  Jennifer will not watch television, talk on the phone, or do anything to distract her if her schedule is not complete. It is at Michael’s discretion to determine what a distraction is.
        1. Optimized: Jennifer shall research the optimal way to perform various duties that she has not previously researched.  In the past this has included tips on ironing and folding fitted sheets.  She will share such research with Michael and incorporate what she learned, as well as Michael’s preferences, into her methods.
      1. MantrasJennifer shall begin each morning and end each evening by correctly reciting her Morning Mantra or Evening Mantra three times as per Exhibit A.  If Michael is home she will recite it in his presence.  If Michael is not home, she will recite them over the phone to him.  If a call was not possible, she will record herself reciting them out loud and text the recording to Michael.  Jennifer’s Morning Mantra shall be the first words she speaks for the day, and her Evening Mantra shall be her last.  If she speaks again that evening, she will again have to repeat her Evening Mantra so that it remains her last spoken words of the day.
      1. Availability and Awareness. Jennifer shall let Michael know where she is at all times. She is to provide Michael an appropriate and timely reminder of scheduled events she attends outside the house, including details on who she may be meeting.  She must keep her cell phone battery charged and have a way for Michael to reach her at any time.  Any delays in responding to a text or call from Michael must be explained and it will be at Michaels discretion as to whether or not the explanation is in keeping with this section VB1f.  Jennifer shall ask Michael’s permission before doing something that is, or could result in, a change in the usual routine or that could result in a delay in the performance of her Duties and Obligations.
      1. Permission: Jennifer shall ask Michael’s permission when; leaving the house for other than scheduled errands, faced with decisions regarding her social calendar, such as friends asking her to lunch, when a repairman asks for approval on work to be done, or when family members make a request of her time.  When such decisions are needed she is to let the person know using wording similar to:  “I need to check with my husband.”
      1. Deference:  Jennifer shall defer to Michael’s judgment on any and all matters that Michael and Jennifer may disagree on.  She may respectfully discuss the matter at a Maintenance Session and any discussion ends when Michael says it ends.  Any decision he makes will be accepted by Jennifer.  Jennifer shall also consult with Michael on any major decisions before Jennifer makes her opinions known to anyone other than Michael.  Jennifer will always defer to Michael in public, never questioning his statements and never offering her opinion unless Michael has asked.
      1. Loyalty: Jennifer shall never complain to others about Michael or about any of her Duties and Obligations.  Complaining includes coming across as burdened, frustrated, annoyed, or inconvenienced.  The one exception to this is Jennifer’s blog.  Any of Jennifer’s concerns or complaints should be aired only to Michael.   Further, accounts Jennifer provides to others regarding Michael or her Duties and Obligations should always be done in positive terms with reverence and joy.  EXCEPTION:  Jennifer may voice whatever she is feeling on her blog, even if it comes across contrary to Loyalty SO LONG that Jennifer has already expressed these feelings to Michael.
      1. Assignments At any time and at his full discretion, Michael may provide Jennifer with a specific Assignment such as reading a particular book or doing research, as well as providing a written report to him on the book or research.  The Assignment may also encompass any other tasks that he may assign for any reason.
  3. PHYSICAL SELF-CARE consists of four components: a) Physical Well-Being, b) Physical Appearance, c) Attire, d) Gracefulness
    1. Physical Well-Being:  Jennifer shall look after her physical well-being; hygiene, including being available for anal sex at any time, no cavities, maintaining weight and exercising to Michael’s satisfaction, going to regular doctor, dental, optometrist, or other medical appointments, taking medications as prescribed, getting the flu shot, maintaining OTC meds (vitamins, etc.), and getting good rest, including adhering to a bedtime prescribed by Michael.
    1. Physical Appearance:  Jennifer shall maintain a physical appearance pleasing to Michael.  This includes, but is not limited to; maintaining hair that is presentable and styled to Michael’s liking, maintaining or attaining a weight and body tone to Michael’s liking, putting on sufficient make up as early in the morning as reasonable, and maintaining or removing pubic hair according to Michael’s demands.  Jennifer shall seek Michael permission and approval before obtaining any body piercings, tattoos, or any type of body modification, including the removal of existing piercings. Jennifer shall comply with any demand from Michael regarding Jennifer obtaining any body piercing, tattoo, or any type of body modification.
    1. Attire:  Jennifer shall be fully nude at home unless given permission by Michael to the contrary.  Jennifer has Michael’s implied permission for things such as a solicitor or delivery person who comes to the door but Jennifer shall inform Michael of this.  Michael may deem that Jennifer is in violation if he feels the situation did not warrant clothing.  When Jennifer is dressed, whether in public or in private, Jennifer shall dress consistent to Michael demands and return any clothing she purchases that he tells her to return.  She is not to wear a bra or panties without permission. 
    1. Gracefulness:  Jennifer shall walk gracefully, sit down smoothly, and assume a pretty sitting posture per Michael’s discretion as to what meets this definition. 

      EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE consists of five components: a) Feelings, b) Relationships, c) Workload, d) Sexual Release, e) Journaling.
    1. FeelingsJennifer shall avoid overextending her time and emotions to other family members or friends. Jennifer shall comply with any demand from Michael regarding decreasing or eliminating her attention on others.  Jennifer shall always share with Michael any negative feelings she may be having about any person, experience, or subject.  Such negative feelings include but are not limited to anxiety, boredom, irritation, sadness, stress, and jealousy.  Any cussing by Jennifer for any reason at any time will be deemed a failure to properly express her feelings. Jennifer shall never disparage herself for any reason, such as referring to herself in a negative way.  While she may do so for humor, it is at Michael’s discretion as to whether the humor was appropriate.  
    1. Relationships:  Jennifer shall maintain healthy, positive relationships with friends and family.  Jennifer will cut off relationships that Michael believes are unhealthy; however, Maintenance Sessions can be used for open and respectful dialogue and Michael must allow Jennifer to make reasonable attempts to improve a questionable relationship before Michael forbids it.
    1. Workload:  Jennifer shall only take on tasks she can handle.  It is at Michael’s discretion to determine if she has taken on too much as evidenced by behaviors including but not limited to: missed deadlines, missed appointments, leaving the house without her cell phone or other items needed for that errand, not keeping personal belongings clean and in working order, and misplacing items.  Jennifer is to self-report immediately, not wait for Maintenance, as soon as she begins to feel burdened by her workload.
    1. Sexual Release:  Jennifer is not to engage in any sexual activity or orgasm without Michael’s permission as per Section 5B1c.  If Jennifer feels sexual activity and/or an orgasm is needed by her for emotional wellbeing, she can discuss with Michael and it is at his discretion for what, if anything, shall be done to address it. 
    1. Journaling: Jennifer must maintain a handwritten daily journal addressing these topics
      1. Her reflection on significant events of the day, including any Discipline she may have received that day.
      1. Any failure in adhering to her Duties & Obligations that occurred for which Michael was unaware. 
      1. Insights into any masturbating that was allowed or required of he, including details of when, where, how, and for how long she masturbated, and whether or not she achieved orgasm.
      1. A detailed account of any sexual activity she had with anyone other than Michael if Michael was not present during the activity, including details on the acts performed and how she felt before, during, and afterward. It must be written like a chapter in an erotic novel.
      1. Any concerns or troubling thoughts she has on any topic, including any moments she may not have felt submissive or acted as submissively as she would have liked.
      1. Points of clarity she wishes to seek from Michael regarding any topic she wants to address.

  4. FINANCES:  Jennifer shall keep within the budget and never make household purchases beyond basic necessities, as defined by Michael, such as food and toiletries without Michael’s permission, regardless of the cost of the item.  If something needs to be returned, she is to promptly return it.  She does not leave lights on in a room if she is the last to exit.  She is not to waste water or any household materials as determined at Michael’s discretion.  She is to maintain a general understanding of the household finances so that she can easily take over if Michael is unable to do so for any reason. 

  5. SAFETY consists of the following:
    1. RISK OF ACCIDENT, INJURY, OR THEFT:  Jennifer shall not engage in activities that increase the risk of accident or injury to herself or others.  This includes but is not limited to any traffic violations whether ticketed or not, leaving a pan on the stove, texting while driving, using the cell phone in other than hands free while driving, or unsafe activities such as leaving things on the floor that present a trip hazard (whether or not anyone actually has tripped), or standing on a ladder or chair without someone being there for support.  If Jennifer breaks something, Michael will determine if it was reasonable to assume her action could have led to the breakage.  Jennifer shall never run out of gas while driving, shall make sure the house is locked when she leaves it unoccupied, shall not leave her credit or debit card or driver’s license at any store or place of business, and shall make sure the garage door is closed after she comes home.

    1. RISK OF JUDGMENT OF FAMILY OR FRIENDS:  Jennifer must show discretion and respect for her and her family’s safety regarding sharing aspects of her “Domestic Discipline” lifestyle with others, including aspects of Dominant/submissive and their open sex life.  Jennifer shall not initiate sharing of information without Michael’s permission.  She is to truthfully answer any questions someone may pose to her about her lifestyle.  Such answers should provide the minimal amount of information necessary to truthfully answer their question.  Jennifer shall promptly share with Michael any such disclosures she made to someone.  It will be at Michael’s discretion to determine if such disclosure was consistent with Jennifer demonstrating appropriate discretion and respect for Safety. EXCEPTION:  This does NOT apply to Jennifer and Michael’s relationship with Kayla.  Both Michael and Jennifer treat Kayla as their mutual wife, and no one is ashamed of this relationship.  As a result, Jennifer is to refer to Kayla as “her wife” or “our wife” at all times. Jennifer is to adhere to this section regarding any questions prompted by such a statement. 

SECTION VI: DISCIPLINE

  1. GENERAL GUIDELINES:   Jennifer grants Michael full and ultimate authority to determine the appropriate Discipline Jennifer is to receive.  Michael may use his discretion to provide any Discipline not explicitly defined or explained in this Agreement. 

  2. DISPUTES: If Jennifer feels the Discipline was not consistent with the intent or spirit of this Agreement, she is to say nothing at the time of the Discipline and accept it without complaint or use her Safe words to modify or stop the Discipline.  She can use the next Maintenance Session to discuss her concerns about the Discipline she received.

  3. SAFE WORDS: Jennifer can use two safe words when receiving Discipline.  Use of a safe word will not subject Jennifer to additional Discipline.

    1. YELLOW instructs Michael to pause.  Michael will stop the Discipline and, after awaiting an amount of time he feels appropriate, he will ask Jennifer if it is okay to resume or if she needs him to alter the Discipline.  Discipline will not resume until Jennifer indicates it is okay to either proceed with the Discipline that was being given or with whatever alteration she indicted.

    1. RED instructs Michael to stop.  Michael and Jennifer will discuss whether or not the Discipline can resume in some alternative form.  It will be at Jennifer’s discretion to resume; else it will be considered complete and After Care will commence.    

  4. HARD LIMITS: Jennifer may alter, add, or remove any Hard Limits at any time.  Current hard limits include Blood, Branding, Breath Play, Gun Play, Fire Play, Knife Play, Piercing (in the context of play or Discipline), Scat, and any illegal activities not to include public nudity or public sex.

  5. DISCIPLINE TIMING/LOCATION: Michael will strive to promptly administer all Discipline.  When Michael determines it is not possible to quickly administer Discipline, it will be administered as soon as reasonably possible.  Jennifer agrees to be subject to Discipline at any time, at any place, without regard to how public or private it may be, regardless who else may be present, and regardless the type of Discipline Michael chooses to administer, whether verbal, physical, bare bottom, or otherwise.  If Michael is comfortable administering the Discipline at a given time and place, Jennifer must accept the Discipline in that given time and place.  When Discipline is provided at home, Michael may provide it “on the spot” or may direct Jennifer to another area of the house, a corner, or send her to her bedroom.  If sent to her room, she is disrobe, if not already naked, and stand in the corner, waiting for Michael.

  6. DISCIPLINE INTEGRITY: Before initiating a disciplinary action, Michael will have Jennifer recite her Discipline Mantra per Exhibit 1.  Once recited correctly and to Michael’s satisfaction, Discipline shall generally be given in a calm, purposeful, and resolved manner, with the exception of lectures.  Jennifer expressly desires Michael to be as stern, serious, and mean as he chooses when lecturing her.  Michael may use condescending and/or degrading terms of his choosing.  Michael shall determine the type, duration, and intensity of the Discipline necessary for Jennifer to be Reflective, Remorseful, and Surrendered.  Jennifer’s demeanor and body language shall be consistent with being (1) Reflective, (2) Remorseful, and (3) Surrendered, and is subject to Michael’s interpretation.  Michael shall perform appropriate (4) After Care and perform the (5) Closing Ceremony to mark the end of that Discipline.

    1. REFLECTIVE:  Jennifer should be made to give deep thought to her actions and the consequences of her actions. This can be achieved through both the lecture and the type and intensity of the discipline. 

    2. REMORSEFUL:  Jennifer should feel remorse, not sorrow. Her remorse is expected to be for both letting Michael down for failing to be Honest, Obedient, or Safe, and for letting herself down for failing to uphold her Duties and Obligations in being submissive to Michael.

    3. SURRENDERED:  Jennifer must be physically and emotionally surrendered during Discipline, granting Michael complete ability to deliver the Discipline.  This means no pulling away, pushing Michael’s hand, or in any way interfering with the Discipline. Unless instructed otherwise, Jennifer will avoid eye contact with Michael and maintain a surrendered demeanor and body language throughout the Discipline.  If she is standing, her head and eyes should be facing downward with her hands clasped behind her back or present herself in a manner that Michael demands of her in that moment. 

    1. AFTERCAREMichael is to comfort Jennifer by cuddling her and maintaining a comforting mindset with affirming words of love and commitment. No lecturing during After Care as all the focus is on expressing love for Jennifer and reassuring all is forgiven. 

    1. CLOSING CEREMONYAt the completion of the Discipline and Aftercare, Michael will say, “All is forgiven.”  Jennifer will respond, “All is forgiven.”  This serves as a sign that Michael has forgiven her and that Jennifer has forgiven herself.   Further, Michael harbors no negative feelings towards Jennifer for her need for Discipline, and Jennifer harbors no negative feelings towards Michael for his administering Discipline.  Life moves on in peace.   
      .
  7. TYPES OF DISCIPLINE

    1. SPANKING DISCIPLINE consists of Jennifer being spanked with an implement of Michael’s choice, or by hand.  Jennifer may be spanked on any part of her body that Michael determines is appropriate.

    2. NON-SPANKING PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE consists of any physical discipline other than a spanking.  It includes but is not limited to breast bindings, nipple clamps, tack bra, butt plug, extended corner time, pee drinking, nipple and/or clit clamps, enemas, or any other device or implement intended to cause appropriate discomfort consistent with the Discipline Michael wants to administer.

    3. NON-PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE includes but is not limited to loss of privileges such as television or internet or seeing family or friends.  Any restrictions on seeing family or friends is not to exceed one week. 

    4. VERBAL DISCIPLINE consists of any verbal admonishing and/or lecturing Michael may direct at Jennifer.  It is Jennifer’s desire that verbal disciplining be loud, angry, and mean with an intent to make her cry, even if she does not do so. 

SECTION VII. MAINTENANCE SESSIONS

  1. SUNDAY SESSIONS consist of  Michael and Jennifer meeting to discuss certain topics allowing Jennifer to seek clarification on any Discipline or any other aspect of their dynamic, have Michael review Jennifer’s behavior and progress, have Jennifer present her Daily Journal for inspection, and for Jennifer to receive Maintenance spankings.  Such spankings are not intended as discipline, but as a reminder of Jennifer’s submission and to provide her appropriate release as per Michael’s discretion. 

  2. THURSDAY SESSIONS consist of Michael and Jennifer meeting with Kayla to review the collective poly-marriage relationship with the intent of maintaining and fostering health and open communication between the three of them.  Jennifer will receive Maintenance consistent with Sunday Sessions.

  3. MAINTENANCE SESSION CEREMONY Jennifer shall be nude throughout and will begin with Michael administering her first Maintenance spanking.  Much like After-Care, Michael and Jennifer will embrace and Jennifer will speak, reaffirming her love and respect for herself, her family, and for Michael.  Michael will, in turn, express his love for Jennifer and thank her for the commitment of personal responsibility she has made and state his continued support to help her become the person she wants to be.

    1. SUNDAY SESSIONS:  Michael and Jennifer will discuss Jennifer’s behaviors and Discipline she received that week.  All discussions will focus only on that week.  Jennifer will not bring up past issues as those issues are considered resolved. Jennifer will present her Daily Journal to Michael for his review, inspection, and discussion.  Jennifer will self-report on any Disobedience that occurred that week for which Michael was unaware. Michael will administer any Discipline he deems necessary for any of Jennifer’s self-reported Disobedience, as well as for any Journal shortcomings.
      Michael will lecture Jennifer as to his expectations of her for the coming week and may choose to dialogue with Jennifer.
      Jennifer will be given corner time for self-reflection as determined by Michael.  Michael may choose to leave the room, stay, or come and go during her corner time.  When corner time is up, Jennifer is to follow any other instructions Michael may have provided, such as masturbating.  When she has completed all instructions and if Michael is not in the room, she is to lay in bed, meditate, and is acceptable for her to fall asleep as she waits for further instructions.  When Michael is ready, he will call Jennifer over.  She is to kneel in front of him, look up into his eyes, and recite all three Mantras per Exhibit A.  She will then bow her head and reach out her hands.  Michael may wait for as long as he chooses before holding her outstretched hands.  While holding her hands, Jennifer will remain kneeling with her head bowed. When Michael is ready, he will instruct Jennifer to take a position and receive her last Maintenance spanking.  Appropriate After-Care is administered and the Maintenance Session is over
    2. THURSDAY SESSIONS: After a Maintenance spanking is given, the remainder of the Thursday sessions are unstructured and at Mike’s discretion.  They may include a final Maintenance spanking.

EXHIBIT A:  MANTRAS

  1. MORNING MANTRA
    “Today I desire submission;
    through humility, not humiliation,
    through service, not suffering, 
    through being present, not in pain
    through being useful, not used,  
    through discipline, not punishment, 
    through focusing on Michael’s desires, my only need and purpose.”

  2. EVENING MANTRA
    “Thank you, Michael. 
    Thank you, Michael, for leading, as I follow you.
    Thank you, Michael, for working, as I serve you.

    Thank you, Michael, for providing, as I appreciate you.
    Thank you, Michael, for guiding, as I trust you.
    Thank you, Michael, for teaching, as I learn from you.

    Thank you, Michael, for deciding, as I obey you.
    I look forward to tomorrow when we get to do it all again.

  3. DISCIPLINE MANTRA
    I accept your leadership and authority over me.
    I accept and appreciate whatever discipline you decide is best for me.
    I apologize for {state the transgression} as that does not represent the person and wife you deserve and that I want to be.
    I am sorry that you have to take the time to correct me
    I will strive to do better
    I am ready to be disciplined.


    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    To see the three previous agreements we had, visit my Shortcuts and scroll to the Our Agreements section.

19 thoughts on “380. Our Domestic Discipline Contract v3.2”

  1. Well Jennifer and Michael, it would appear that with your latest DD contract you now have long term continuity, stability and commitment in your relationship. That is a wonderful thing – because you both seem to truly want that.

    Now, I am always left to wonder Jennifer just how many of the others who follow your blog here have similar type arrangements in their relationship? No, I do not expect you to know the answer to that question Jennifer. I state this only to possibly solicit some feedback from others. In the spirit of full disclosure, I can state that I do not have an agreement anywhere close to yours and Michael’s. I view yours as being near the extreme end of the spectrum.

    After all, how many women (wives) would honestly and willingly consent to some of the conditions that the two (or three) of you have agreed to? Permanently naked while at home. A husband who may – at his own discretion – demand that she (his wife) perform any sexual activity. Or, as stated in your contract: Anything, with anyone, at anytime, and anywhere – without hesitation. My guess is… not very many. Michael has for all intents and purposes, not one – but two – sexual and domestic slaves. Should they disobey or be disrespectful in any way he can (and he often does) – again with his own full discretion – punish them disproportionally to their particular crime. Wow! There must be times when he is busting a gut with laughter inside; or pinching himself. Most husband’s fantasies cannot approach the reality that Michael experiences in his life. Kudos to him. Regardless, I wish both of you continued success in all of your mutual experiences, learning and personal growth.

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    1. You are correct I couldn’t know how many have a written agreement. I think it’s likely the minority, but maybe a third to perhaps a little more. As for Mike laughing, I don’t get the inference. Laughing in disbelief? In joy? In a condescending way? His laughter would be in appreciation and awe. And yes, you could characterize us as domestic and sexual slaves, but “slave” has a specific connotation in kink that does not define our dynamic. And yes, Mike has extreme discretion as to making demands and providing consequences if those demands aren’t met. But with such power comes responsibility and our Agreement helps convey limits so that his demand are within what we are willing to accept. And, as always, we have a voice, whereas a slave would not. Thank you for your comment. I didn’t read it as being critical – quite the contrary – I found acceptance and curiosity in your words. I just felt they deserved some clarification on my part. Thanks again! Oh, btw, we are a household that is naked most of the time as we are nudists, so it’s not just me and Kayla who are naked.

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      1. And to add – while Mike does get treated like a god, let’s not forget that I am still part of our “DD equation.” I get tremendous pleasure and satisfaction from our dynamic as well – even MORE than Mike as far as I am concerned. So I feel like a goddess – getting all that I desire in order to feel fulfilled!

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      2. You are not a slave Jennifer and no one, including you, should say or think you are a slave. A slave lacks freedom and choice. You exercise both! You have chosen your DD lifestyle bravely and freely, You also freely chose to be vulnerable by codifying your relationship in a formal contract. Doing so gives you the freedom to live and love every moment of every day. You are a role model Jennifer for how deeply and submissively a wife can love and serve her husband. Long may your freedom of expression (which you so willingly and humorously share with us) and your contractual choice live!

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        1. I agree, I am not a slave. But i concede there are some elements of TTWD that venture into the category, especially for those who are not familiar with “slave” in the M/s world.

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          1. Jennifer, with your new contract, it amazes me how you find your bliss through even deeper expressions of service and devotion to Mike. Since bladder control is not a hard limit for you, I’m curious if you discussed, as part of your contract negotiations, deferring your toileting to Mike’s discretion, either as a form of obedience or of discipline. If not, is it something submissive you would try, if Mike insisted?

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          2. Unlike past contracts, I don’t look at our latest contract as a deeper expression of service and devotion- More of a reaffirmation and continuance. As for bladder control/toileting, it’s never come up. Not something that interests me but if it was something he wanted, I am open to it. We have done it on a limited basis before, during “Immersion.” The issue I have regarding it is that, to an extreme it is dangerous to hold your pee. So, like any other aspect of TTWD, we’d have to set certain boundaries.
            Oh, and I want to add I kind of chuckled at the phrase, “if Mike insisted.” He never has to insist. He simply states his wishes. I may or may not ask for clarification, but he never has to “insist.” He asks, I obey. With few exceptions.

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    2. Jennifer, I was simply implying that Michael probably laughs at times in personal recognition of his good fortune. Good fortune to have two obedient, compliant and happy wives. Good fortune to have the role, responsibilities and trust that have been bestowed upon him by all involved.

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      1. As you know Jennifer, words matter. Does Mike chalk his role in your relationship up to good fortune? He’s put in a lot of hard work over the years to be the Dominant HOH you want and need him to be. To much is given, much is expected. Mike has an awesome responsibility to love, cherish, provide, protect and nurture your thruple, while maintaining and augmenting appropriate discipline for you and Kayla as necessary. It takes all three to keep your polyamory relationship humming.

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        1. So as not to misread or portray his thoughts incorrectly, I asked him for his thoughts on your question. He is not much of a “How did I get here?”person. He knows he has much in his life to feel fortunate about, but feels life is a result of 1) a series of decisions within our control and sometimes the decision is more a guess than rational. 2) a series of events for which we have no control. He is always a “make the best of everything” kind of person, which has always attracted me! I think you summed it with one modification per Mike, “Much is given, much is expected, AND much is accepted.” You can’t dictate everything and to achieve what you expect you must balance expectations with acceptance of what others can offer.
          Thank you for recognizing his awesome responsibilities and you are absolutely correct that it takes all three of us connecting with each other to keep a poly relationship humming. I almost typed “working with each other” but it isn’t work. It shouldn’t ever feel like work. It’s about connecting day-to-day in very small ways that make it a joyful and often automatic effort – not work!

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      2. Ah, yes. Thanks for elaborating. That he does. Good fortune and joy! And frankly, it comes from the “happy wives” first and foremost. How we became and remain happy is through the obedience and compliance.

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  2. Great choice to replace negotiation! Lol when I saw the following details on the same line it made me laugh, “ anal sex at any time, no cavities”. Then I thought, does cum cause cavities and laughed some more.
    I like that you have confirmed in your agreement how much the bi-weekly maintenance sessions work, keeping you all inline with your agreement but more importantly with each other.

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    1. Thats SO funny!! Of course, that’s not how we read it, but then again, that’s what it states! So either I can’t have anal if I have a cavity, or it’s saying anal sex prevents cavities. Hum, it definitely involves “a” cavity. Lol. Anyways, thank you for appreciating our work!

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  3. Thank you for sharing your contracting process (and results) here. It’s great to see.

    I’ve just been considering negotiation, as part of our dynamic, and how it doesn’t really work. This sentence ‘we renamed the “Negotiation” section to “Confirmation.”.’ makes so much more sense. We discuss things, I check in to make sure I’m understanding, confirm his expectations an that I will meet them, and then we continue.

    Anyway a timely post for lining up my own thoughts, as well as a great insight into your world. Thank you

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  4. Thank you for sharing your newest contract. I confess I am a longtime lurker. I think you and Mike are so brave to express your love for each other and TTWD in a written contract. I hope you find these next three years as rewarding as you both intend. If at times you don’t, it must be because Mike has decided you’ve earned his discipline, most likely in the form of verbal lectures and spankings. For non-spanking physical discipline I see that your newest contract now explicitly includes pee drinking. Is that because Mike still finds it to be an effective form of discipline? I’m curious why you both felt the need to state it specifically in the contract. Did you have any discussions about it during your confirmation process? Perhaps it is mentioned as a deterrent since you find it so distasteful. You have the most intelligent and thought provoking blog about DD on the internet. Thank you for sharing your story and your feelings with us. Keep blogging and keep enjoying every moment of every day.

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    1. Thank you for your supportive words! And you are very observant to catch that “wee” little change in the Agreement! Lol. When we discussed that part Mike said, “We should include pee drinking in there.” My reply was that it’s not an exhaustive list and is there to provide examples. We don’t need to list everything. He was like, “Yes, but that thing is different than the other things and we should make it clear it’s part of what you accept.” I do accept it, always have, but I struggle with admitting it. Clearly, I ended up agreeing to formally put it in there. Know that every change you find had a conversation behind it. Everything that stayed did too. We go line by line through it and ask each other for their thoughts. It’s a true “confirmation” of all aspects of the Agreement. Thanks again! I am glad you peeped out behind the lurker shades to comment!

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