Time for some kink.
Ha. Same image and title as I used when sharing our last “Immersion” fun back in 2020. Here’s the post about the 2020 funfest and it includes links to 2019 and other Immersions.
This will be a bit of rambley post (is that word? It is now). But that’s just to show you I haven’t changed! 🙂
For the DDJenny uninitiated:
Immersion started off as a once a year time for us to test limits, to explore deeper, often darker, forms of submissions. More Master/slave than Dominant/submissive, more BDSM than DD. We then started combining our Immersion with gatherings of our COT.
COT (Circle of Trust)
COT is the term we use to refer to our “like-minded” friends that we “play” with. In other words, kinky friends with whom we fuck together. Gosh, that doesn’t sound as nice as that first sentence. Oh well, truth hurts! LOL. Our COT is basically 4 couples and the three of us. That’s the core group, but there are a few “guests” at times.
IMMERSSION / COT GATHERING 2022
This year we spent a week at our “place in the woods.” A now, often used place we love to rent to get away from it all. As the name implies, it is remote and fairly isolated. With binoculars you can see another home, otherwise, you see trees and dirt.
We spent the first two days doing some of the M/s type things we’ve done in past Immersions. I won’t go into it, not because I don’t want to share, but, I have other things to share in this post. If you want to get an idea as to what those activities are, use the link at the start of the post to see the 2020 details and links to prior years.
We really haven’t deepened our exploration of new things in the last few immersions. I think the three of us have found our limits as well as found the limits we are comfortable relaxing during Immersion. The first two days of our stay was just the three of us revisiting (exploring) those limits. Then, our COT began to arrive and the fun really began.
COT’S TAKE TEAMWORK AND COOPERATION
I really liked the image on this post as it evokes thoughts of teamwork and cooperation. And with 5 couples in our Circle of Trust (COT) – okay 4 couples and 1 triad if you want to be technical. . . With 11 people sharing several days together and sharing way more than just their time (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), it takes teamwork and cooperation to hold things together.
Despite the time apart the relationships between everyone appears to be strong. Everyone is open about their individual needs and their needs within their own relationships and everyone is equally respectful of every one else’s needs. But, as we learned, needs change, and we all needed to share those changes. More on that in a bit.
One of our COT rules is that the women don’t get to complain. They can bring issues to their man, but they don’t bicker or complain to other men or the other women, and definitely do not talk bad of anyone. Maybe that’s why our COT works? The women aren’t allowed to be bitchy. LOL.
Okay, okay. I didn’t mean that as a misogynistic dig at us women. Honestly, I feel it is less about gender and more about the fact that because a group, which happens to be women, defers to a smaller group, conflicts can get resolved more easily Instead of 11 personalities advocating for their needs, it’s 5. And those 5, (the men), are savvy enough Dom’s to appropriately incorporate the needs of their women and balance the “greater good” of the fun everyone has in the COT.
Another rule is that issues are often aired publicly, for all to hear. I am not sure who first came up with the concept, but the men decided that it was best to share conflicts, and their resolution, with everyone. So if you do complain, everyone is going to know about it. It doesn’t prevent complaints, but it definitely creates an environment where concerns are respectfully aired.
MIKE DISCIPLINES CHELSEA
Our gathering began as any social gathering of friends may begin, except the women were naked. Minor exception, right? hee-hee. Point is, there was a lot of small talk, catching up on family, work, and life stuff.
During the chit-chat, Chelsea complained to me and Kayla about something irking her about Kim. I told her after her first comment that she needed to talk to Jaime about it. The second time she did it I told her that if she doesn’t go to Jaime, I would need to go to Mike about her behavior (per our standards, I would not bring a complain to another person, only to my husband).
When Chelsea commented about Kim for the third time, I had to tell Mike. After I did that, Mike talked to Jaime and to my surprise (maybe I should have expected it), Mike called Chelsea out of the living room with everyone around. “Chelsea, come with me right now.” It was stern and anything but discreet. The room got silent for a minute or two as Mike took Chelsea by the hand and directed her to one of the bedrooms.
The chatter in the room resumed but soon, even with the idle chatter, you could hear that someone was being spanked, and you knew it wasn’t Mike. I could see people looking over at Jaime, a bit puzzled. It didn’t dawn on me until then that, other than John and Donna, no one was fully aware of Mike’s role within Jaime and Chelsea’s dynamic. They would be now.
When Mike and Chelsea emerged, you could see the tears in her eyes and the redness of her bottom. Chelsea then apologized to everyone for disrupting the fun and then admitted she had done wrong by complaining about someone to me and Kayla. She then had to say who and what it was that was bothering her.
Chelsea didn’t like the way Kim was talking to TJ. It didn’t sound “submissive enough” to her. She noticed Kim would interrupt TJ mid-sentence, or correct certain things he said. Chelsea apologized to TJ and to Kim, admitting it was improper for her to go to me and Kayla and she should have gone to Jaime with her concerns. She also apologized and thanked me and Kayla for putting us in a position of having to hear her complaints. Mike then spanked her about ten more times right in front of everyone.
TJ accepted the apology and Kim even apologized for making Chelsea feel uneasy. They both explained their dynamic had evolved a bit over the last two years and apparently it showed. They went on to explain they identify more as swingers than D/s. There is still some Domestic Discipline that goes on, but Kim doesn’t get spanked very often. And she isn’t subject to many rules, especially when it comes to deferring to TJ. They didn’t realize it was that obvious. Kim even said that maybe some bad habits have creeped in that the two of them will need to talk about as, D/s or no D/s, she doesn’t want to come across as disrespectful. All in all it was a productive exchange. Teamwork and cooperation!
BUT, WHAT ABOUT MIKE AND CHELSEA?
Then, Kim brought up the elephant in the room. A no, it wasn’t the large, wood carved elephant decoration in the room. She said, “Now, that we’ve explained what’s going on with us, Jaime, why did Mike discipline your wife?”
The way Kim said it could have been taken two ways. It could have been interpreted as snarky, like, “Girl, you gonna’ question MY husband about what he expects from me when YOUR husband can’t address what is expected of YOU! Or, it could have been taken as truly being inquisitive.
Jaime interpreted it as the latter, thankfully. I think that’s another magic ingredient of our COT. People assume the best intentions of others. I think it is easier for us to do that because generally everyone is honest, to a fault. If someone doesn’t like something, you’ll know it in clear terms, no anal-retentive, passive-aggressive behavior. ANYWAY, he took her question in good faith and said, “We’ve had some changes too. Consider the Domestic Discipline in my house as being outsourced to Mike.” People nodded and that was that. Teamwork and cooperation.
That was the only drama of the gathering, and there was one surprise. On the last day everyone was there, two mystery guests arrived! Two men. So for the first time, the men outnumbered the women, seven to six. Who were they? What did they partake in, if anything? And, why did Kayla never get to see them? That, and more, on my next post! Sorry to leave you with that cliffhanger twice in a row, but I wanted to share the Chelsea incident first. I promise, next time I’ll share what, if any, kink-action the two penises, uh, er, ahem. . . I mean, the two men, saw.
8 thoughts on “386. Immersion 2022 – COT Reunion Drama?”
All the “kink” aside, you remain the gold standard in how to be poly and successful. Being able to openly complain about stuff to each other is so very important because nothing is being kept as secrets; what one knows, all know. Then being able to resolve conflicts and issues without all that drama.
Mike and Chelsea. I understand the dynamic and I’d say that the others were… taken aback by this interaction because (1) they hadn’t known about it and (2) that’s probably “not the way it works” – Jamie should discipline his own wife. But oddly, I get it and it makes sense – and this is coming from a guy who doesn’t know a whole lot about this.
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Thank you. And just like our plural marriage, our COT was founded in transparency. Having the conversation ahead of time that we know everyone’s collective kinks are going to vary and if the friendships are going to endure (as well as the friends-with-benefits enduring), we all needed to be open about things that bothered us. The key is to do our best to approach the differences with inquisitive minds and not judgmental ones. Given that we have all share many intimate kinks with each other (and not just verbally!), it becomes hard to throw rocks in our glass houses! And when someone picks up a rock (Chelsea in this case), it gets quickly dealt with.
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This is just the kind of scenario that really gets my spanking juices flowing… discipline meted out immediately following misbehavior, and the misbehaving woman made to explain and apologize after. And I love that she was naked and all could see the effects of her spanking. I continue to enjoy reading about the on-goings in your relationships, DDjenny…thank you for sharing!
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I agree. While I empathized with her, a part of me was like, “she’s so lucky!” Such is the submissive mind!!
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I am curious about something, and I hope the question doesn’t offend…it stems only from curiosity, not judgement. From reading your posts, Chelsea has struck me as a person more prone to seeking attention. As you gave her two warnings, prior to speaking to Mike about her misbehavior…do you think a part of her was needing discipline in that moment? Or, was she just really caught up in the moment and not heeding your warnings….? Nosy minds would love to hear your thoughts 🙂
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It is very hard to offend me, and this certainly does not. I don’t want to use the term “needy” too hastily because in some ways, all submissives are needy. (Whoa, now THAT statement might offend, but I stand by it). And the neediness is rooted, not in a need for attention, but a need to demonstrate and FEEL our submission. Mmm. It feels good! This need might result in us doing things, even subconsciously, that are clearly going to evoke a reaction from our Dom. That reaction serves to reinforce our submission to him. Exactly what we were needing!
That said, yeah, she a needy bitch. Lol. I am totally kidding. I mean, she has needs (don’t we all) and sometimes doesn’t express them appropriately, but I think her behavior wasn’t calculated. Subconsciously she may have wanted to put her submission to Mike on display, but I didn’t sense from her reaction that she was fishing for such a display. Hard to say with 100% certainty. I hadn’t really thought about her possibly manipulating the situation to get disciplined. It isn’t far fetched based on her past behaviors but she seemed to be very embarrassed by it all and I hope, by now, she’s outgrown such games.
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Thank you for being so open, DDJenny! You articulated what I was trying to ask well…if she might have been needing her submission to Mike put on display. Sort of a “hey, I’m with him” moment. Sounds like your group had another great retreat 🙂
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