384. What’s up with fam and friends?

I ended the last post with thoughts of getting you up to speed on the DD of things. That is, how my submissive life has been over the last year, sexcapades and all. Well, sorry to you pervs out there, maybe next post!

I feel more in the mood to share a quick family update.

To refresh any memories, or as new info for the DD-Jennifer uninitiated, I refer to my kids by their initials. I’ve thought of using pseudonyms but afraid I’ll mess up and use their real names, or even call them by their pseudonym. That would be awkward! Anyways, I’ll repeat some things I’ve shared before as well as give you an update on the fam —

T1 and E
T1 is 32 and his wife is 28. They have a five month old boy. Yep, that means T1’s parents are in a relationship with someone younger than his wife – AND – if all goes according to plan, he will have a brother that is younger than his son. All in a days work of my life! LOL. And of course, it means I am a grandma! I love it. So whomever things grandma’s can’t be kinky, well, you’ve come to the wrong place!
T1 and E have a farm that I’ve posted about many times. We helped put a second home on their land which is where J now lives, but more on that in a bit .

T2
T2 is 26. He got married last year to his longtime girlfriend, G. They live in San Diego. And to show the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree, their marriage is/was a bit unique. They consider themselves poly, and for the last few years there was a male “roommate” who they just recently parted ways with, or more specifically, G parted ways with. T2 explained this all to us just recently. He said he is heterosexual, not that it matters to us, and that while they aren’t actively seeking any relationships, neither is opposed to it if it comes about, whether it be another man or woman.

Future family reunions will definitely be interesting! I can hear some of my more distant relatives saying, “Damn, that Jen has one F’d up family.” I don’t take offense. I get why people will make judgements and I don’t care. They can’t understand the concept of love beyond their own limited notions. Let’s not get on that soapbox and continue. . .

Oh, and I believe I mentioned before that Covid hit their household pre-vaccine. T2 came through it fine but G STILL has issues, what they call Long Covid. Frequent migraines and her taste has not returned to normal. So for those of you who think it’s a hoax, fuck you and your ignorance! And yes, I am allowed to say that in this context. I digress.

J
J is 21. That is so hard for me to say. As I’ve shared before he has a disability, and has far exceeded what we thought his adult life would be. He has fully moved into the farm. He has thrived there and has proven to be an effective farm-hand and beekeeper. He found a passion in beekeeping and they now have five hives. It suits him perfectly. He still has a room at home but his stays have become fewer and further apart. I visit the farm more than J comes home and frankly, his home is now the farm. That’s difficult for me to say, in a bittersweet way. But make no mistake, I am so proud of what he has achieved and who he has become.

We put a house on the farm that is J’s house! It’s a small one bedroom. If any of you have ever watched that show, Texas Flip N Move, it was a lot like that. It was a small home that had been refurbished and then moved onto the farm. If J ever decides it isn’t for him, it would serve as a great guesthouse. It’s the perfect set up for J. It’s close to the main house so T1&E can keep an eye on him. They see him every day. And he essentially has a full time job regarding farm work. He gets up early and works most of the day.

Truly amazing when I think back where he was ten years ago where we thought he would forever have to live with us. All the result of a lot of hard work by me, if I don’t say so myself! And really a group effort as well as he has always been surrounded by a lot of support and positivity. There’s nothing he can’t do, he just sometimes has to do it differently!

John and Donna
Still our best friends and neighbors! There was a long stretch during Covid that we didn’t see them. Probably 6-9 months. Then we started making a few exceptions here and there but still not a lot of interaction (yeah, you can substitute “sex” for the word “interaction”).

We had planned a big “Circle of Trust” reunion of sorts but then canceled as it coincided with the Omicron surge, but that reunion is back on and in a few weeks. It will be fun to see all our friends together. Can’t believe it has been two years since our last gathering! March 8, 2020 was our last “COT” convergence, just weeks before Covid entered our part of the country. We’re gonna’ have a lot of fun in a few weeks!

Jaime and Chelsea
John and Donna were not the only ones we saw during Covid. I shared that Chelsea stayed with us in August 2020, and she stayed again with us for almost two months this year, January and February. Suffice to say her and Jaime still struggle, but after her two month stint with us, signs are that it is mostly past tense – “struggled.” They are on a good path relationship wise. Maybe I’ll do a post about it. The short of it is that just when you think they have fully opened up and revealed the core of their needs and expectations, there is yet another layer to the onion that gets revealed. Oh, and Mike is now Chelsea’s full time Dom. So yeah, probably blog worthy, don’t ya think?

Matt and Jill / TJ and Kim / Raul and Valerie
Haven’t seem TJ/Kim or Raul/Valerie at all since March 2020 and briefly saw Matt and Jill. Jill also stayed with us at one time, but only for about a week, as she and Matt hit a bump. It was during Covid and not really something I liked. Ah, another blog post topic I presume? Anyways, they reconciled.

Oh, and apparently TJ and Kim have a COT of their own. Not the best of news given Covid, but there’s reasons we feel safe getting together with them. Soon we will need a Venn diagram to keep our play-partners clear in our minds! LOL. And aha, perhaps another blog post?

Oh, and no “lunch bunch” lunches since Covid either, but we have all agreed (I have Mike’s permission) that we will get together in April.

Who else? My sisters? The Nudies? Well, anyone else I didn’t mention mean there isn’t anything noteworthy about their last two years, at least from a DDJennifer blog perspective!

Oh, I know who else! Mike and Kayla! LOL! I should have led with them, don’t ya think? Well, I saved the best for last. Yes, that’s it!

Mike: Same great man! He’s the perfect husband and the perfect Dom. He’s become like a Dom-sensei, 100% for Jaime but even to Matt, and TJ to some degree. Oh, and Mike’s work was a bit of a whirlwind. He was lucky to be spared the many furloughs that took place at his company. And then, he recently got an awesome promotion. I credit the skills he has honed as a Dom as why they recognized him as such a great leader! I am not saying that in jest. And he has said as much.

Kayla: In many ways the 27-year old Kayla is indistinguishable from the then 21 year-old who moved in with us. More self assured and no longer hostile to herself. While she was an adult in age, she is now an adult through and through. I love her so much as she adds so much to my life and to Mike’s.

As I posted about, she is looking forward to motherhood. She has been highly focused on fitness as she wants to look good after the pregnancy. This is all her and not due to any comments or pressure from Mike. To the contrary, we’ve both told her not to worry, but there’s not much we can say to stop her. She went into overdrive after the start of the year with her fitness and diet routine. I will say that while she’s always been physically attractive, she looks incredible with abs! Nothing too over the top, but her entire body is now very toned and defined. A contrast to me, for sure! And I am okay with that!

Phew. So there you have it. An update on those who I have invited into my life! So much for shorter posts!

And truly saving the best for last…. what about me? hee-hee. Next post?

POST 385. COT Congregation and Immersion 2022

383. Baby Daddy

Jumping right in and picking up from my last post. . .

THE FRO-ZONE

Mike had a vasectomy a long time ago. At my urging he stored some man juice. At the time he thought it was dumb, but I insisted. And fortunately at that time, I ruled!! Those were the days! LOL. Seriously though, I felt strongly that if something ever happened to me I didn’t want to deprive him, or some other woman, of at least having the option of having kids.

So Mike put some sperm on ice! It wasn’t that expensive to be storing it and, periodically when the bill came due Mike would talk about ending it. I kept insisting he hold on a few more years.  Then, when Kayla came into our lives as a lover and wife, we both felt, “Well, you never know.”  Even though Kayla was originally of the mindset of never having kids, we knew that mindset could change.   And right we were.

TELLING KAYLA

Kayla knew Mike had a vasectomy and her thoughts were to have a sperm donor. We purposely never told her of the Mike’s special savings account because we never wanted her to feel pressured to have to make a withdrawal. And even though she now wanted a baby, we were uncertain she would embrace the idea. Sharing this with her wasn’t easy for Mike and me. But we knew we had to tell her this was an option.

We were concerned she would feel pressured. That she would HAVE to say yes. We were also concerned the other way – that she would feel offended that we didn’t just assume that this was the way to go. Perhaps she would feel insulted such as, “Why wouldn’t I want that?” and “Why wouldn’t you want that for me?”    

While both of us were okay with whatever Kayla decided, we DID have a preference. It was our preference for Mike to be the father. We both consider Kayla a permanent presence in our life. If there is to be a child, why not Mike’s?

Mike handled the talking and there was a lot of prefacing the “surprise” with a lot of, “We support you.” So much so that she finally say, “I feel a giant ‘but’ coming, so what’s up?” Mike said something like, “It’s not a ‘but,’ it’s an ‘and.’ AND what would you say about the possibility of me being the father?”

The news made her cry. A lot. And for quite some time. And they were all happy tears. She didn’t give us an scintilla of grief for keeping this from her or from implying she had the option of saying no. This took her baby fever, and ours, from a fever to a full on possession! We all immediately went into overdrive on the planning and preparations.

I thought of stopping here and picking up on another post per my stated intentions of trying to make my posts smaller but more frequent. Oh well, that didn’t last. At least the smaller part. As for frequency, that remains to be seen (so far so good though). So. . . .

LOTS TO DO

Doctor visits! The insemination process is simple. She will have intra-uterine insemination (IUI). The date is semi-set for late July. Exact date will depend on when tests show it’s the optimal time for successful conception. If it takes on the first attempt, well — duh, baby in about nine months, around April. If it doesn’t take, we’ll repeat it and even repeat it again.

The doctor feels the chances are good as all the preliminary tests for Kayla look good and the tests done back when Mike made his “deposit” showed strong counts. But still, sometimes it can still take a few attempts. There enough Mike-spunk for probably six attempts.

In addition to the mechanics of conception, there are some legal things we are addressing. Mike is in charge of that. He has a family law attorney working on making sure everything gets addressed for everyone’s protection, especially for the child. Mike and Kayla will be the legal parents. And we will be updating wills and other things so that there is a blueprint to follow if live throws us a curve.

Family law as it pertains to non-monogamous/polyamorous parenting is in its’ infancy but evolving quickly. As the biological parents, Mike and Kayla are pretty much covered. Not being legally married can create some issues, but ones we are addressing in advance. And for me, well, we will just have to wait for laws to catch up with the wider reality of relationships.

It’s weird that the baby will have such an old father. I know, I know. You’re saying, “Jen, THAT ain’t the weird thing!” Okay, so yeah, the weird thing is my grandson will have an uncle that is younger than he is. What, that’s not it either? Then what is it?

Oh, you mean the whole, “The baby will have a dad with two submissive wives” thing? And the fact that MY husband is going to father a baby with another woman that I will take part in raising?

That’s not weird, that’s just practical. I can’t have any more babies coming out of me. That whole thing is shut-down, LOL.

It wasn’t as hard of a choice as you might have thought. I wish I was blogging back when we made this decision (which was only a few months ago) because honestly, I am so excited and at peace with this that I don’t recall all the dialogue, whether internal or with Mike and Kayla.

We’ve been reading books and articles on families raised in polyamory and we feel very much “ahead of the game” in the planning we’ve done. We’re pretty much ready!

Oh, and work-wise, Kayla plans to stay home. She will take as long as she can off, even an extended leave of absence, and then see. Maybe eventually work part-time from home, more freelance. No need to solve for this right now as we don’t know yet if the IUI will work.

WHO AM I?

We talked about titles. I mean, who am I to the baby? Kayla put that to rest and said, “You’re Mama Jen.” Works for me.

Yes, this is totally big news. The biggest! It changes the trajectory of the rest of our lives, and creates a trajectory for a soon-to-be human. We know that as the baby grows up we will have to make adjustments, but so does every family.

Oh, speaking of family. We haven’t shared this with anyone yet. Want to wait until Kayla is actually pregnant before announcing it.

Okay. Enough baby talk. Let’s talk about, oh, I don’t know… MY DD! Or more correctly, DD that’s for me! Next post.

NEXT: 384. WHAT’S UP WITH FAM AND FRIENDS

382. Baby makes Four?

Before I dive into some of the most noteworthy happenings in my life over the last year, I thought I would first bore you with the mundane. Hey, who said that? I heard several of you say, “Damn, I was hoping she would have changed after all this time.”

Anyways. . . I wanted to say that my marriage is as strong as ever and life just keeps getting better and better. I am in a great place and am loving life, every moment, every day! The DD life has continued and nothing really that noteworthy to mention on the DD front other than it remains a constant in my marriage.

So let’s talk the more major life events I mentioned on the prior post.

WHICH TOPIC?
Which topic should I try to address in this post? Our navigating the pandemic? T2 getting married! T1 and his wife having a baby– yep, I am officially a grandma who likes to fu.. um, er, ah… moving along. How about sharing a bit about some houseguests we had over the last year? Let’s see. What else did I mention on that last post?

AND BABY MAKES FOUR?
Okay, I will address the baby topic first! I had thoughts of dragging it out and addressing the other stuff first, but, okay, okay, to the more dramatic changes first – or at least, planned changes.

If all goes as planned, Kayla will be pregnant this fall, maybe as early as July. And the father?

Mike!

But let’s not jump ahead.

Here’s a recap for those who haven’t etched all things DDJenny into their memories. Kayla is 27 and moved in with us at the end of 2016.  About two years later we had our official/unofficial wedding, publicly acknowledging our love and acceptance of her as a wife.  Whether it was biology or catching baby-fever from T1 & E, or some other trigger, Kayla came to us last year expressing a desire to have a child.   She is well aware that Mike had a vasectomy, and was thinking that, if we all agreed, we could either find someone or use an anonymous donor.      

BEFORE SOLVING FOR SPERM

The first order of business was to talk about the seriousness of bringing a life into this world.  We naturally did the math and were like, “Oh, when the baby is 18, Kayla will be in her mid-40’s and we will be in our early 70’s.”  What would that be like and what would it mean to the child and to all of us?

Beyond age, is our lifestyle conducive to raising a child?  What’s the impact on us, and of course, most importantly, what will be the impact on this new human?   Yeah, all of that needed to be sorted out before we even talk about procuring the sperm. 

I wish I had been blogging during this dialogue.  I know I had more varying thoughts cogitating in my head when we were first talking this through. But to be honest, I quickly came to a conclusion, as did Mike, that we would fully support this.  And it quickly went from supporting it to deeply wanting it! We are all excited!  

Every aspect of the “baby business” can be addressed with a simple word – “love.”  Where there is love, there is a strong foundation for a happy and joyful life, and our household is full of love.   Our lifestyle, ages, and “everything” IS conducive to raising a healthy, vibrant, and loving child. And that’s because our “everything ” will adjust to be what it needs to be to make it so.

That doesn’t mean we give up things that are important to us. It simply means we pursue them in the context of an even higher priority. So some things will change and some won’t. “We” will remain “three” and our power dynamic and sex lives will continue — all within the framework of new priorities.

SOLVING FOR SPERM – BABY DADDY ? 

I will try something new with my blogging. I will try to keep them a little shorter and post more frequently. No promises, but maybe that will create better posting momentum. So with that, stay tuned because in March 2023, I’ll tell you how it all worked out! See ‘ya then.

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Just kidding. Give me a few days. I will share how it came about that Mike, vasectomy intact and all, WILL be the biological father if everything works out.

NEXT: 383. BABY DADDY

381. One eternity later

Wow. Two days in a row of posting. I am on a roll!

Huh?

My last post was March 17, yes?

What’s that you say?

Uh-huh. Yes. March 17. You can check it for yourself.

Oh.

You mean. . .

It was March 17, 2021? Are you sure?

Really? Double check that.

No way.

Seriously?

. . .

. . .

. . .

Well, where the f have I been?

At this point, I guess no need to pick up where I left off going over the changes we made to our Agreement. That’s old news.

Will I be posting regularly?
I don’t know, although I don’t plan on waiting until March 2023 to post again. I mentioned before I feel like my life reached a point it was unblogworthy. But a year worth of unblogworthiness? I guess so.

As I’ve stated before, our DD and exploration stopped evolving and reached it’s “perfect place” in our hearts and minds. Besides, how many times can you read of my latest punishment, sexual romp, or esoteric rant?

Oh, that many times!! Really? Well I’ll be darned. Maybe I should have kept blogging!

Here are some highlights of the last year which I will post about in more detail in coming posts.

• Covid
  We’ve remained Covid-free, but our middle son, T2, who lives in CA was not so fortunate. While his case was mild, his wife’s was quite severe. She thought she was going to die and more than a year later, still has issues with what they call Long Covid.
• Oh yeah, T2 got married! And it is a bit untraditional!
• And T1 and my daughter-in-law had a baby! So I am a grandma
• And if all goes as planned, Kayla will be pregnant this summer/early fall. Yawn. Wait. What?
• We’ve had two different houseguests for extended periods. Who and why did these women stay with us?
• My marriage is as strong as ever and I feel as fulfilled and purposeful as ever! Life is good.

Let’s see. Which of those sound the most interesting? Probably none of them. Maybe I will just talk politics instead?

Such a tease.

Thanks for sticking with me. More to come.

Next: 382. Baby makes four?