Tag Archives: fantasies

203. The S*ck and F*ck Mystery

203
This is the postscript on Post 201. Happy New (Severe Spanking) Year.

THE MYSTERY
I’ll start with revealing the mystery behind Kayla’s response, then I’ll then share my reflections on my behavior. Then for you pervs out there I’ll wrap it up with the final part of the punishment I received. 

When Kayla shared her thoughts, she ended it with, “It was exactly the kind of thing we talked about.”  While it was clear to me that Kayla appreciated what Mike did, I had no idea what she was referring to.  So I asked Mike and Kayla if they were willing to share what it was they talked about that made her appreciate the impromptu “suck and fuck” as we have come to jokingly calling it.

CATCHING UP WITH KAYLA AND MICHAUD
First some background to catch you up on Kayla and Michaud. (I wrote about the beginnings of their relationship in Post 186. Kayla gets a Boyfriend).  Kayla has shared her big attraction to Michaud is his laid back, accepting style.  She feels so comfortable talking with him and they see eye to eye on so many issues.  However, she has made it clear she doesn’t think of him as potentially being “the one.”  She says she doesn’t see herself considering marrying anyone until she is at least 27, if not 30.  She wants to enjoy and explore life, unencumbered.  She has shared those sentiments with Michaud.

Kayla recently told Michaud she wants to explore a “unique” relationship with him, sort of an experiment – as if their relationship wasn’t already unique enough.  Inspired by Mike and I, Kayla told Michaud she wants them to share everything — every thought, every desire, every pet peeve, every impulse, every fantasy.   Not necessarily act on them, but share those things verbally.   Even down to a quirky thing that we do in our household (when no kids are home).  She asked Michaud to accept a “no closed doors” policy.  That is, you don’t close doors to the bathroom, whether someone is showering, using the toilet, or whatever.  Basically, there is no “personal space” as all space is shared, even when using the crapper!  

Michaud was game and they implemented this “openness” about three weeks ago. What I didn’t know is that Michaud shared some things with Kayla regarding his sexual turn on’s.  Apparently he is turned on by Kayla telling him about sexual acts she performs with us.  He likes her to tell him every detail.  Kayla said it makes for great foreplay with Michaud.

Kayla also shared her sexual fantasies with Michaud, including the one about having four guys at one time.  With that in mind, Michaud told her that he wouldn’t mind “sharing her” at the same time with Mike.  Kayla told him that this wouldn’t happen, as Mike and I already told Kayla we don’t want Michaud to be part of our dynamic or play.  Nothing against him  We just don’t want to get entrenched in a relationship she has.  We believe it is good for her to explore her relationships on her own.  In addition, our dance card is pretty full and life is good.  We don’t want to complicate things.

MYSTERY UNVEILED
I was generally aware of Kayla’s “openness” experiment with Michaud, but I wasn’t aware of Michaud’s turn on regarding Kayla sharing her sexual experiences or his thoughts on sharing her with Mike.  Kayla didn’t purposely keep this information from me.  There just wasn’t an opportunity for her to bring it up to me and she isn’t compelled to tell me such details.

She told Mike about it during one of her Maintenance Sessions.  When she did that, Mike suggested that they do something specifically for Michaud’s benefit.  That way, not only would she have a juicy sexcapade to share with him, but she can let him know that Mike arranged it with him in mind.  Kayla loved the idea.  Mike simply told her that he would think about the details and let her know.   Well, apparently he thought about them and thus the now infamous “suck and fuck.”

DOUBTING MIKE’S INTENTIONS
Clearly, Mike’s action had Kayla’s support and endorsement, at least in general, if not specifically.   I felt so foolish for reacting as I did and doubting Mike’s intentions.  This is not the first time my doubts have got me into trouble.  I thought I was past having these moments of doubt.  At a minimum, I thought I was at least past ACTING on any doubts without first calmly and respectfully clarifying the situation.   Clearly I am not.

I think it was a combination of factors that led me to have that doubt. 

  • It caught me by surprise.  Kayla was practically heading out the door when Mike stopped her for the blow job.  
  • Kayla’s reaction didn’t seem joyful to me.  I now realize that I was reading too much into it.  Sure she didn’t jump for joy, but she often has a resolute look about her.  In hindsight I can see that her reaction was simply that of a compliant submissive.   
  • I have a “mama bear” instinct about Kayla, and if I think she is unhappy or being mistreated, I react, often without additional thought. 
  • Instead of assuming loving intentions, in an instant I created this false narrative in my mind.  I assumed Mike was just being a stupid alpha-male, flaunting his power and authority over Kayla as a “take that” to Michaud by in effect telling him all he can have is “sloppy seconds.”   Not only does such behavior repulse me, but using Kayla in that way also triggered “mama bear” to come out. 
  • I wasn’t in a particularly deep submissive mindset.  The holidays messed with our D/s routine.  I couldn’t even do simple things like being naked around the house.  Since before Thanksgiving a lot of my energy and focus was on holiday activities and not on submission.  Not that that is wrong, as such focus is good for my kids and the family overall.  But still, it softened my submissive mindset, leaving me vulnerable to mistakes. 

Whatever the reason(s), I am more committed than ever to stay diligent and not repeat this.  Ideally I wish I never have such thoughts again, but realistically, it is not about never having those thoughts.  It is about recognizing when I have them and controlling my reaction so that it is loving, purposeful, and effective in facilitating a healthy and respectful conversation.  I know I can do that!

This issue is a big one for me as it is not something that just arose with our DD.  I have always had this problem.  Pre-DD it was a common occurrence — jumping to conclusions, feeling attacked or feeling Mike had ill intentions.  I credit Domestic Discipline with helping me towards eradicating this terrible habit.

As Mike often reminds me, “Progress, not perfection!”   

FINAL PUNISHMENT – CLOSING CEREMONY
I shared with you that my punishment was not complete.  Mike gave me until the next day to write my 100 lines, which I completed.  As in keeping with our “lines rules,” I am spanked for mistakes or sloppy lines – two spankings for each error.  Mike “grades’ me very strictly.  He counts it as a mistake if words don’t line up very closely underneath the matching word in the row above.

I was thankful to have the entire day to work on the lines, thus I didn’t have to do them in one sitting.  This was a first, but was necessary because the family interruptions that occurred throughout the day.  Thus I didn’t become as fatigued in my writing and the result was Mike only found three errors, thus six spankings.

Because our middle child hung around the house most of the day, we had to arrange to go over to John and Donna’s for me to be spanked.  They are accustomed to us using their house as a get-away when a spanking is needed.  When we use their house the spankings are always done in one of their bedrooms.  We don’t let them watch.  These are solemn occasions.  I am not allowed to make eye contact or speak with John or Donna until after our Closing Ceremony.  Mike simply asks them, “Can we use your room for moment.”  They know what that means.  Once the punishment is over, we then “turn off” punishment mode and act as if we are on a social visit.

Mike brought a small paddle with him.  Thankfully Mississippi is too big to smuggle out of the house discreetly!  I couldn’t have taken any more with that beast.  As is our protocol I immediately get undressed when I enter their house.  My bottom was very bruised from the night before and I know they saw it as I walked past them towards a bedroom.  I am sure they were like, “Wow, what did she do!?”

Once in the room Mike had me lay across his knee.  He even commented how bruised my ass was, “Wow, I’ve never seen it this bad.  I have a feeling these six are going to hurt.”
He then proceeded to lecture me as he rubbed my bruised and sore butt.  I thought I was over the extreme emotions of the events but I started to cry, even before he spanked me.
He then spanked me.  I let out a shrill on number three and dramatically increased the volume on numbers four,  five and six.   I know John and Donna could hear me. 

We then had our Closing Ceremony.  It felt so good to completely put this behind me.  Mike told me to go wash my face and get my clothes on.   He said I could take a few minutes and he left the room to go talk to John and Donna.  I composed myself, got dressed, stopped off at the bathroom to wash my face, and emerged as if nothing happened.  We talked about what each of us did to ring in the New Year (the family and festivities stuff, not the “suck and fuck” or punishment).  Then we returned home.  All is forgiven.   

I love my Domestic Discipline!

Oh, almost forgot  – I asked Kayla, “So, what did you tell Michaud and how did he react? Did he actually get turned on by it?”   That’s for another post!

Next:  204. Returning to Submissive Headspace

 

58. Sex with Donna . . . What did I forget?

Those of you who only know me by my latest posts are getting a heavy dose of sexual adventure. That definitely reflects my life over the last two to three weeks. Don’t forget though that to me, I am a typical housewife, with typical challenges and demands in life. I just have an atypical way of addressing them. And through that atypical way, domestic discipline, has far surpassed my wildest dreams. I am happy, Mike is happy, there are far fewer conflicts and those that arise are quickly and completely resolved, and we are exploring many of our lifelong sexual fantasies. I feel fulfilled and feel a greater sense of purpose and value, as does Mike. This one time control-freak who thought they had it all together now really does have it all together.

So, a story about today . . . .

I had the mornings and early afternoon to myself as our son started back at school. Donna was off work today and she came over at 11, just when it was time for me to remove the plug. I was naked when she arrived as I remain naked at home until it is time to pick up my son from school. She disrobed as soon as she was in my house as we now have this rule that she and I have to be naked when entering each other’s house – assuming no other guests. When we open the door the first question we ask is, “Hi, do you have any guests?”

Fast forward about, oh, 60 seconds, maybe less. We started kissing and groping and diving right in to having sex. It was wonderful to just have each other to ourselves without the guys around.

Well, we were still going at it when Mike came home as he often does for lunch. It was quite comical as he walked into our bedroom and calmly said, “Hello Jen, hello Donna.” It was as if we were just sitting at the table enjoying some iced tea instead of naked on the bed with our faces buried in each other’s pussies. However, he then said, “Jen, you were supposed to text me when Donna comes over and Donna, you are supposed to let John know as well. We agreed you all could have sex without us, but we needed to be informed.”

Crap, I forgot, and so did Donna.

Donna texted John right away and let him know she had already been over and forgot to tell him.   A few minutes later Mike’s cell rang and it was John. They talked for a while. When the call was over Mike told me to go get “little bit.” That’s the name we have for this 12 inch oak paddle we have. He made a point to tell Donna that John said she not only needs to watch, but that she would be next. John wanted Mike to spank her.

This is new. Mike and I have both spanked and flogged her before, but as part of play, not punishment, and John was always there.   I met this with mixed emotions. Part of me thought, “What fun, we get to share a punishment!” But part of me said, “Wait, this is just between Mike and me. Do I really want him punishing someone else?”   Whatever conflict I was thinking in my head I didn’t show it. I got the paddle and brought it over to Mike. I got over his knee and he gave me some warm ups by hand, then proceeded to give me 15 with the paddle. He then had me stand up and told me to put my arms above my head and face him so I could watch him spank Donna.   He called Donna over and had Donna go over his knee.   My thought was, “not over the knee.” That is too personal, too intimate. Why not just have her bend over. It made me a little sad, and actually a little jealous, and I am not prone to jealousy.

He gave her some warm ups by hand and then 15 with the paddle.   He then said that in addition to the punishment for not informing him and John, we also would be punished for using up part of his lunch hour. He instructed both of us to stand on each side of the bed, then, keeping our legs on the floor, bend over so our chests were flat on the bed. He told us to hold each other’s hands and to look each other in the eye. He then took off his belt and gave each of us 10 very hard ones.

I was thinking, “Oh no, now the aftercare. That is very personal. That’s MY time with Mike. Plus, John and Donna have different rituals, she doesn’t appreciate what we do. This is isn’t for her. Don’t let her into our aftercare!”   All of this was going on in my mind. I didn’t actually say anything.

Mike called us both over and he hugged each of us with one arm and told us to hug as well so we were in this group hug. He had us state why were punished, however, instead of ending in the “all is forgiven” part of our Aftercare, he said, “All is forgiven with me, but there is still John who was not respected. Jen, you will go over to their house this evening so that John can spank both you and Donna, and then all is forgiven.”

Okay, now I am really freaking out inside. I was punished once before over at their house without Mike and I hated it. I didn’t like that Mike spanked Donna in such an intimate way, including her in the aftercare, and now I have to get spanked without him.   Again, I didn’t say anything.   I know I am putting a lot of meaning into all of this and I could try to rationalize it away, but it doesn’t change how I feel. There’s not much in our DD that falls under that category of, “I don’t like it one bit, but I’ll go along with it.” This falls in that category.

So, about an hour ago I went over to John and Donna’s, without Mike, and John spanked the both of us. He used this three pronged strap called a Tawse. That was new to me. I was nervous because John and Donna are more aggressive with giving/receiving pain as Donna as a bit of a masochist. Plus, from my last experience I knew the act of getting spanked just isn’t as fun when it is someone other than Mike doing it. I kept myself focused on the fact that this all was Mike’s wishes and by submitting to this I was submitting to Mike. That helped, a bit. Overall I’d say it did hurt more than Mike’s spanking earlier, but I wasn’t all that focused on it. I was more of the mindset, “just get it over with.” Emotionally I was disconnected.   I got through it and that was that. I really don’t like getting spanked by anyone but Mike.

So, I am back home now, chores all done, red ass and all. I journaled a bit and, of course, wrote this. I’ll make sure our son is gets wound down and into bed and then I have a bit of quiet time with Mike, channel surfing or whatever he wants. Then showered and in bed with lights out by 10 p.m.

Tomorrow I’ll remember to text Mike! Okay, actually, it won’t be tomorrow because Donna works. So maybe the day after! Funny that Mike and John didn’t think that a worse punishment would be to say we couldn’t see each other for one week!   I think that they would feel they would be punishing themselves as they both love the fact that Donna and I had sex.   We had to share all the details with them!   Typical guys!

My attempt to accept getting spanked by John is simply to accept that I don’t have to like it. I probably shouldn’t like it. It is a punishment, and even though Mike wasn’t doing the spanking, he is still exerting dominance by ordering me to submit. I really love that part. Regardless of my love for that part, I will strive to never have to repeat that. I will obviously share these feeling with Mike, not in an effort to make him stop this, but simply because sharing our feelings is what we do, well, for sure something that I do. And if I blog it, I am sure to talk to him about it. I don’t want him learning something from the blog that I didn’t already share with him.

By the way, Mike and John made it clear to us that when Donna and I “transgress” together, there will be dual punishments if those transgressions fall under the rules of both houses.

So be it. The life of a sub isn’t always going to be fun.

NEXT:  59.  Ice, Ice, Baby.