Tag Archives: fantasies

343. Kayla Interview Part II – Kayla Ours, the new addition

343

Let’s dive right back in where I left off on the prior post.

Good thing many of you are isolated with nothing to do but read stuff like this because this is a long one.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy sharing more about my dear Kayla!

Jen:  Kayla, let’s fast forward 2016 when you became a part of us.   What were your thoughts about us before the events that led us to where we are today?

– – Kayla reminded me of a post she did on this blog.  I had forgotten.  Instead of repeating things, it turns out the answer to this question is covered in that post.  Check it out herePost 182.  Hello, my name is Kala. —

Jen:  Things moved pretty fast with us.  According to things I blogged about, it was October 2016 when I first told you about the “new” lifestyle we adopted.   About a month later, we were making plans for you to move in, which you did right after Christmas.
You went from the babysitter to a submissive in a triad with a married couple in a months time.

Kayla:  A month? That would be ridiculous, like, I was some kind of desperate and needy whore.  It was clearly six weeks!   Yeah, kinda fast.  A lot of thinking can get done in six weeks.  It really isn’t that fast.  And hey, I thought of myself as being more than just the babysitter.

Jen:  I didn’t say “just” the babysitter.  But sorry, you are right, you were much more than that.  It makes for a better narrative for my kinky readers.  But still, that was fast, wasn’t it?

Kayla:  I get it.  I know both of you thought fondly of me and I was always welcomed as part of the family, not just the babysitter.   I believe everything was just perfect timing for where I was in life, what I was needing and hoping for, and what you all were able to provide me.  I so much wanted to be a part of the two of you, beyond just a young family friend.  I had zero reservations.  Did you?

Jen:  Hey, I am the interviewer here.  I think I blogged plenty about some of the things I went through at that time.  (There’s probably about ten different posts about this beginning from Post 79. Anxiety, Resentment, Jealousy, Guilt to about Post 101 Compersion with a side of Submission and Spanking.  Probably more after that as well).

– You can read those if you want the answer to Kayla’s question. Let’s move on. –

Jen:  Speaking of a good narrative for my kinky readers, you told us before your first orgasm was to thoughts of Mike.  Please elaborate.

Kayla:   Yes, pretty sure my first real masturbation and orgasm were to thoughts of Mike.  It wasn’t thoughts of sex with him, at least not at first.   Him just hugging me, which he did in real life, as well as thoughts of him just caressing my arm, which he did NOT do in real life.  Yes, the thoughts of a sexy man caressing my arm was enough to make young Kayla all warm and tingly inside. (laughing)

Jen:  In other words, no different than what it takes to make you that way today?  (more laughing).

Kayla:  I go way beyond warm and tingly today, but yeppers, it doesn’t take much, even today.   But those pubescent fantasies in my head eventually evolved beyond him caressing my arm.  At some point I imagined him disciplining me – as in spanking me.  Not at all in a kink way but like a real disciplining from someone who might spank their kids.  After running those thoughts through my head, well, I’d get all the tingles down there.  At first,my mind would shift to just focusing on the tingles and not thinking about Mike or about being spanked.  But that eventually changed.

Jen:  Why do you think that fantasy appealed to you?

Kayla:  I don’t know.  It’s hard to explain why something makes you feel a certain way, especially at that age when you can’t even comprehend what may be behind certain feelings.  But if I were to guess, I think I wanted his attention and for him to care enough about me to want to help me.  A fantasy of him being stern with me and spanking me was how those feelings were manifested. 

Jen:  At that time, did you ever think about what those fantasies might mean?

Kayla: Don’t forget, I was like 11 or 12 when those thoughts started creeping into my fantasies.   And a twelve-year-old isn’t going to self analyze.  Heck, most adults don’t even do that.  People aren’t like you, Jen, striving to get to the bottom of every feeling.   Most people are too afraid of what they’ll find.   But at that age, it wasn’t about fear or anything.  You just sort of feel how you feel and are confused by it.  At that age I lacked the ability to try and reconcile that confusion.  It’s called puberty!

I really didn’t understand sex or have a desire for it.  I would vacillate between being scared by those fantasies and being turned on by them.  I didn’t have thoughts of penis-in-vagina sex or penis-in-anything sex.  I recall that following my spanking fantasies, my earliest thoughts regarding anything remotely related to actual penetration sex was having fantasies of him knowing I touched myself.  I can’t remember the actual details of the fantasy, but it was basically like in my mind I would tell him that I do it and he would spank me for it.  Kind of messed up.  Part pleasure, part guilt, part older man fantasy.  And I didn’t even know the term at the time, but in hindsight, part submission fantasy. 

I also remember thinking how mortified and embarrassed I would be if I actually told him I touched myself.  But I also distinctly remember being turned on by the thoughts of being so mortified and embarrassed.  In your words, I guess I was pre-wired to be turned on by making myself vulnerable.  But I never fantasized about actual PIV or even oral sex with him.

Jen:  I think having mixed feelings of guilt and pleasure regarding sex is normal at that age.  It can be so confusing.   Even for adults who attach a lot of guilt to sex.  Did you feel guilty about those fantasies?

Kayla:   No.  I never associated those feelings with guilt or of them being naughty.  Maybe it goes back to my mom’s reaction when she walked in on me after a bath as I was rubbing myself rather aggressively with a towel.  She set the tone that it wasn’t a big deal, but something that was personal and private.  I do remember feeling a bit scared about my fantasies, like, “What does this mean?”  “Am I normal?”  “Is this weird?”   But I think every kid goes through that when it comes to everything, let alone something dealing with sexual desires. 

Jen:  As you said, a lot of adults still deal with those questions, especially when it comes to kink.   Do you remember your first orgasm?  You’ve said it was about those thoughts with Mike.

Kayla: I like to think my first was over thoughts of him, but honestly I am not 100% sure.  I think I had some mini-orgasms before I had the first big “O” regarding my fantasies about Mike.  I  just didn’t recognize them as orgasms until I had a really intense one.   Are we supposed to be talking about this?  I was like 11.  Mike had to be what, in his late 30’s?

Jen:  It’s your fantasies we are talking about, so spill the beans here.  What was going on regarding those mini-orgasms.”  Set the scene!  My readers like filth.  And the details of this will be news to me and well, I like filth too!

Kayla:  Okay.  My first sexual experiences may not qualify as sexual experiences.  I mean, can you have a sexual experience without knowing what sex is?  Is sex defined by the area of your body that is being aroused or is it defined by intent?   Don’t you have some committee that determines these things?

Jen:  Hum… I’d have to check with the kink authorities on that.  But continue.

Kayla:  Ew.  I don’t like to think of it as sex and I definitely don’t like to think of it as kink.  My earliest memories of anything we would call remotely sexual was when I was like eight-years-old for god’s sake!

Jen:  Okay, okay.  I’ll rephrase.  What was your first experience where today, you recognize it as something that felt good in a way that today you would equate to a sexual feeling?   Better?

Kayla:   Uh, that’s not much better, because there is nothing at eight years old that felt like what sex feels like today.  But I will quit arguing the point and answer your question.  I vividly remember it because it is actually one of the few mother/daughter memories I have where her actions may have had a positive influence on me.   It was the incident with the towel that I mentioned a few questions ago.

I remember drying myself off with a towel and liking the feeling when I dried between my legs.  I probably was even younger than eight but it was never more than just a passing thought of, “Oh, that felt pretty good” and I’d move on to dry the rest of my body.   But at some point, maybe when I was eight, definitely no more than nine, instead of just a quick wipe with the towel and fleeting thought of, “that was nice,” I decided, “Hum, I should give that another wipe.”   A few baths later and it became many wipes and eventually full on rubs.   Over time I spent more and more time drying between my legs than I did the time before.  Eventually, I would put the towel between my legs with one hand in front of me and one behind and sort of ride the towel like a horse.  A horse that moved rapidly back and forth under me, haha.  It became a bath-time ritual.

I didn’t equate what I was doing to anything sexual.  It just felt good, really good.  It’s like, you know how the warm sun can feel good on your face when you walk outside?  That’s not a sexual feeling, it’s just a good feeling.   It was like that, except it wasn’t my face that got warm.  Ew, did I just say that?   Anyway, I had no clue what sex was and didn’t equate it to anything other than just a good feeling.   And when I did it, I would just reach some point where I was like, “Okay, I’ll stop now.” Time to finish drying or getting ready for bed or whatever.  Never another thought about it.   

Then one day my mom walked in on me, humping away at this towel that was buzzing back and forth between my legs. 

Jen:  How did I never hear this story before?

Kayla:   It’s to your credit that you never asked me about my sexual experiences in second grade!  What kind of perv would that make you!    (laughing)   But for real, I thought I told you about this.  I guess not.

Jen: So how did your mom react and how did you react?

Kayla:  I was cool.  I was like, “Oh, hi mom.”  I didn’t even know enough to think what I was doing was a big deal.  I don’t think I even stopped.  Maybe I slowed down a bit.   And the fact I don’t clearly remember much about her reaction sums up her reaction.  She didn’t have much of one.  She just calmly said, “If you’re going to play between your legs its best done in private, so lock the door when you do that.”

And two things stuck with me.  For a long time, I thought “play between your legs” was an actual phrase meaning to rub or touch yourself down there.  And in my mind, it was just play.  I didn’t know it could be sexual, because I didn’t even know that term.  More importantly, my mom’s reaction was such that it did not equate what I was doing with something should evoke shame or embarrassment.

But I guess as a kid you still sort of pick up on certain things.  While I felt it was normal enough to keep doing it and not feel guilty about it, I not only now knew from my mom that it was supposed to be a private thing that I did behind locked doors, but somehow I also knew it wasn’t something you talked about.  Fortunately, I didn’t go around to my friends and ask them if they also played between their legs.  I was already a bit of the weird kid anyway.  That would have been disastrous.

Jen:  So did you do it more often after that?

Kayla:  Eew, no.  I am telling you, it wasn’t a sex thing!  It was just a way to feel extra good after a bath.

Jen:  But you certainly didn’t stop doing it?

Kayla:  Hell no. 

Jen:  So let’s switch gears.  You said you were a weird kid.  In what way?

Kayla:  There’s the 10-year old Kayla answer and the current Kayla answer.  Which perspective do you want?

Jen:  Too much to ask for both?  Let’s start with kid-Kayla.

Kayla:  Kid Kayla thought everyone else was weird.  Well, I mean, I knew I was the oddball, but I felt I was odd because my supposed cohorts were weird.  I didn’t like kids my age.  I think it goes back to me wanting to be as small as possible so as not to upset my parents.  Be that perfect kid, be mature, be thoughtful.   Not that 14-year-olds are any of those things, but at age 10 I modeled myself after what I thought a 14-year-old should be.  I befriended older kids and they seemed to accept me.  Probably because in my mind they were the “better” kids in terms of the “right way” to be.  I admired them, looked up to them, emulated them.   That made it easy for me to be their friend because they liked how I treated them.  

As I got older, my friends always stayed older.  As a freshman in high school, my friends were seniors.  And the following year when many of them went off to college, their new college friends became my friends and so when I was 16 I had friends who were 20 to 23.

Jen:  Okay, what does the current Kayla think about why Kid Kayla was like that?

Kayla:  Honestly, it wasn’t until the last year or so I’ve figured that out, thanks in large part to you.  It was a self-esteem thing.  I was never truthful with my feelings as a kid.  The truth was too frightening.  A mom who cared more about drinking than about me.  More about making our lives miserable than about me.  A dad who may have tried his best, but couldn’t compensate for all that was missing for me.  I was fortunate that the way I reconciled this turned out to be somewhat productive.  Instead of acting out and being a wild child, I worked harder to be what I thought was the best child. 

At that moment I felt like I had high self-esteem.  I just “knew” I was a good kid, even though it wasn’t enough to bring about change in my mom.  But I know now that our self-esteem depends on how truthful we are with ourselves.  Because I was avoiding my true feelings and pretending that what I was doing was actually making a difference.  Not just pretending my actions helped my parents, but pretending my actions were helping me.  I was pretending I wasn’t being emotionally neglected.  And all the things I was doing to cope with that was not really addressing that.  When we aren’t truthful with ourselves, our self-esteem goes down.

I now know that is what led me to turn to alcohol as well.  You could say it was genetics, and maybe that played a part, but for me, I think it was the environment.  I didn’t feel good about myself because I didn’t know myself, I never faced my emotions.  As I felt those emotions coming to the surface I had to work harder to drive them down, and drinking helped do that for me.   Fortunately, I had you all to stop that from ever reaching a critical point.   

And that is why, as a child, I loved being around you guys.  I felt loved, I felt respected, I felt valued.  Not just from the two of you but from all three of the kids.  It was such a warm and nurturing environment.

Jen:  Thank you for saying that.  At the time, we knew things weren’t good for you on the home front.  We didn’t know all the details, but knew we were your respite.  And it wasn’t like you were just a charity case.  We truly loved having you around.  You were so good with J and T1 and T2 enjoyed your company.

Let’s fast forward to the day I shared with you that me and Mike adopted Domestic Discipline.   It really seemed to connect and resonate with you.  Things happened so fast from that day forward.  Why was that?

Kayla:  Well, first, maybe it helps to understand I already knew I was bisexual.  I had been with other girls, and at the time was living with a friend of mine and her husband and we would have threesomes.   While I was basically a “friend with benefits” to them, I found I liked the idea of being part of three.  I don’t know why.  Two friends are just better than one, right?  And then, of course, there’s the sex.   But it was more than that.  I just really liked being part of three.  However, I was not really that close to them.  I was definitely not in love with them.   Deeply in-like?  Is that a thing?

Jen:  It is now

Kayla:  So I was already predisposed to love the idea of being in a thruple.  Then you add in the fact that by far the two of you are my favorite couple.  Like, “favorite” didn’t even come close to describing it.  I idolized your relationship.  So the thought of being any part of it as an adult, not just a babysitter or kid?  Count me in!

And I was feeling a lack of control at the time.  I wanted to still be the perfect daughter but was drinking more and more myself, and I would feel guilty about that.  It was this loop of working hard to be perfect to cover up my feelings of being neglected, drinking to cope with my true feelings, feeling guilty about drinking, thus, once sober, working even harder to cover up my feelings.  And the loops got bigger and bigger.  I wanted off that roller coaster.  

And I was just getting ready to finish up my undergrad and was facing a decision to get a job, go to grad school, or move back home.  I didn’t feel prepared to make that decision, mainly because of my drinking.  I was feeling very anxious about that.  Everything about the two of you just felt right.  It felt safe, it felt sane.  I was attracted to the two of you, you to me, and it all just felt so right.  I really was in awe and so excited.

Jen:  Beyond the more meaningful relationship with us, what were your thoughts about DD?

Kayla:  It also resonated with me.   Perhaps because of my earlier fantasies, but also because I had always been so self-disciplined for all the wrong reasons, I loved the idea of striving to be self-disciplined as a way to serve someone else.  It’s like I had this power of self-discipline and could finally use it for good, and in return, focus that discipline on what is truly good for me.  I just knew the two of you had my best interests at heart. 

Jen:  Thank you.  We did, and we still do.

There’s so much more we could cover.  And I received a few emails with questions specifically for Kayla.  Some were practical things like how finances work, others about where she sees herself in 5 years, 10 years and beyond.   And then a few sex-related questions.   So — we will just have to do a Part III!

WONDERFUL NEWS
And the answer to some of those questions are revealed in some wonderful news that Kayla shared with us.  Should I wait for Part III to share it here?

Yes, I should. 

 

But, I won’t.

There will soon be a new addition to our family!

How long should I let that sentence linger?

A little longer?

Longer still?

Okay, long enough.

No, it’s not what you think.  Hum.  I really should save this for another post.

 

Okay, okay.  I will say it here.

The new addition isn’t really new, just new in name.

Kayla asked us, and we agreed, if she could legally change her last name to ours. 

Her name will soon officially be, Kayla Ours!   

Just kidding.  You know what I mean.  Her last name will be our last name.   It was something she thought of and very much wanted.  I will elaborate more on that in the next post.

What, you thought maybe the news was something different?

Next: 344. Kayla Interview Part III

203. The S*ck and F*ck Mystery

203
This is the postscript on Post 201. Happy New (Severe Spanking) Year.

THE MYSTERY
I’ll start with revealing the mystery behind Kayla’s response, then I’ll then share my reflections on my behavior. Then for you pervs out there I’ll wrap it up with the final part of the punishment I received. 

When Kayla shared her thoughts, she ended it with, “It was exactly the kind of thing we talked about.”  While it was clear to me that Kayla appreciated what Mike did, I had no idea what she was referring to.  So I asked Mike and Kayla if they were willing to share what it was they talked about that made her appreciate the impromptu “suck and fuck” as we have come to jokingly calling it.

CATCHING UP WITH KAYLA AND MICHAUD
First some background to catch you up on Kayla and Michaud. (I wrote about the beginnings of their relationship in Post 186. Kayla gets a Boyfriend).  Kayla has shared her big attraction to Michaud is his laid back, accepting style.  She feels so comfortable talking with him and they see eye to eye on so many issues.  However, she has made it clear she doesn’t think of him as potentially being “the one.”  She says she doesn’t see herself considering marrying anyone until she is at least 27, if not 30.  She wants to enjoy and explore life, unencumbered.  She has shared those sentiments with Michaud.

Kayla recently told Michaud she wants to explore a “unique” relationship with him, sort of an experiment – as if their relationship wasn’t already unique enough.  Inspired by Mike and I, Kayla told Michaud she wants them to share everything — every thought, every desire, every pet peeve, every impulse, every fantasy.   Not necessarily act on them, but share those things verbally.   Even down to a quirky thing that we do in our household (when no kids are home).  She asked Michaud to accept a “no closed doors” policy.  That is, you don’t close doors to the bathroom, whether someone is showering, using the toilet, or whatever.  Basically, there is no “personal space” as all space is shared, even when using the crapper!  

Michaud was game and they implemented this “openness” about three weeks ago. What I didn’t know is that Michaud shared some things with Kayla regarding his sexual turn on’s.  Apparently he is turned on by Kayla telling him about sexual acts she performs with us.  He likes her to tell him every detail.  Kayla said it makes for great foreplay with Michaud.

Kayla also shared her sexual fantasies with Michaud, including the one about having four guys at one time.  With that in mind, Michaud told her that he wouldn’t mind “sharing her” at the same time with Mike.  Kayla told him that this wouldn’t happen, as Mike and I already told Kayla we don’t want Michaud to be part of our dynamic or play.  Nothing against him  We just don’t want to get entrenched in a relationship she has.  We believe it is good for her to explore her relationships on her own.  In addition, our dance card is pretty full and life is good.  We don’t want to complicate things.

MYSTERY UNVEILED
I was generally aware of Kayla’s “openness” experiment with Michaud, but I wasn’t aware of Michaud’s turn on regarding Kayla sharing her sexual experiences or his thoughts on sharing her with Mike.  Kayla didn’t purposely keep this information from me.  There just wasn’t an opportunity for her to bring it up to me and she isn’t compelled to tell me such details.

She told Mike about it during one of her Maintenance Sessions.  When she did that, Mike suggested that they do something specifically for Michaud’s benefit.  That way, not only would she have a juicy sexcapade to share with him, but she can let him know that Mike arranged it with him in mind.  Kayla loved the idea.  Mike simply told her that he would think about the details and let her know.   Well, apparently he thought about them and thus the now infamous “suck and fuck.”

DOUBTING MIKE’S INTENTIONS
Clearly, Mike’s action had Kayla’s support and endorsement, at least in general, if not specifically.   I felt so foolish for reacting as I did and doubting Mike’s intentions.  This is not the first time my doubts have got me into trouble.  I thought I was past having these moments of doubt.  At a minimum, I thought I was at least past ACTING on any doubts without first calmly and respectfully clarifying the situation.   Clearly I am not.

I think it was a combination of factors that led me to have that doubt. 

  • It caught me by surprise.  Kayla was practically heading out the door when Mike stopped her for the blow job.  
  • Kayla’s reaction didn’t seem joyful to me.  I now realize that I was reading too much into it.  Sure she didn’t jump for joy, but she often has a resolute look about her.  In hindsight I can see that her reaction was simply that of a compliant submissive.   
  • I have a “mama bear” instinct about Kayla, and if I think she is unhappy or being mistreated, I react, often without additional thought. 
  • Instead of assuming loving intentions, in an instant I created this false narrative in my mind.  I assumed Mike was just being a stupid alpha-male, flaunting his power and authority over Kayla as a “take that” to Michaud by in effect telling him all he can have is “sloppy seconds.”   Not only does such behavior repulse me, but using Kayla in that way also triggered “mama bear” to come out. 
  • I wasn’t in a particularly deep submissive mindset.  The holidays messed with our D/s routine.  I couldn’t even do simple things like being naked around the house.  Since before Thanksgiving a lot of my energy and focus was on holiday activities and not on submission.  Not that that is wrong, as such focus is good for my kids and the family overall.  But still, it softened my submissive mindset, leaving me vulnerable to mistakes. 

Whatever the reason(s), I am more committed than ever to stay diligent and not repeat this.  Ideally I wish I never have such thoughts again, but realistically, it is not about never having those thoughts.  It is about recognizing when I have them and controlling my reaction so that it is loving, purposeful, and effective in facilitating a healthy and respectful conversation.  I know I can do that!

This issue is a big one for me as it is not something that just arose with our DD.  I have always had this problem.  Pre-DD it was a common occurrence — jumping to conclusions, feeling attacked or feeling Mike had ill intentions.  I credit Domestic Discipline with helping me towards eradicating this terrible habit.

As Mike often reminds me, “Progress, not perfection!”   

FINAL PUNISHMENT – CLOSING CEREMONY
I shared with you that my punishment was not complete.  Mike gave me until the next day to write my 100 lines, which I completed.  As in keeping with our “lines rules,” I am spanked for mistakes or sloppy lines – two spankings for each error.  Mike “grades’ me very strictly.  He counts it as a mistake if words don’t line up very closely underneath the matching word in the row above.

I was thankful to have the entire day to work on the lines, thus I didn’t have to do them in one sitting.  This was a first, but was necessary because the family interruptions that occurred throughout the day.  Thus I didn’t become as fatigued in my writing and the result was Mike only found three errors, thus six spankings.

Because our middle child hung around the house most of the day, we had to arrange to go over to John and Donna’s for me to be spanked.  They are accustomed to us using their house as a get-away when a spanking is needed.  When we use their house the spankings are always done in one of their bedrooms.  We don’t let them watch.  These are solemn occasions.  I am not allowed to make eye contact or speak with John or Donna until after our Closing Ceremony.  Mike simply asks them, “Can we use your room for moment.”  They know what that means.  Once the punishment is over, we then “turn off” punishment mode and act as if we are on a social visit.

Mike brought a small paddle with him.  Thankfully Mississippi is too big to smuggle out of the house discreetly!  I couldn’t have taken any more with that beast.  As is our protocol I immediately get undressed when I enter their house.  My bottom was very bruised from the night before and I know they saw it as I walked past them towards a bedroom.  I am sure they were like, “Wow, what did she do!?”

Once in the room Mike had me lay across his knee.  He even commented how bruised my ass was, “Wow, I’ve never seen it this bad.  I have a feeling these six are going to hurt.”
He then proceeded to lecture me as he rubbed my bruised and sore butt.  I thought I was over the extreme emotions of the events but I started to cry, even before he spanked me.
He then spanked me.  I let out a shrill on number three and dramatically increased the volume on numbers four,  five and six.   I know John and Donna could hear me. 

We then had our Closing Ceremony.  It felt so good to completely put this behind me.  Mike told me to go wash my face and get my clothes on.   He said I could take a few minutes and he left the room to go talk to John and Donna.  I composed myself, got dressed, stopped off at the bathroom to wash my face, and emerged as if nothing happened.  We talked about what each of us did to ring in the New Year (the family and festivities stuff, not the “suck and fuck” or punishment).  Then we returned home.  All is forgiven.   

I love my Domestic Discipline!

Oh, almost forgot  – I asked Kayla, “So, what did you tell Michaud and how did he react? Did he actually get turned on by it?”   That’s for another post!

Next:  204. Returning to Submissive Headspace

 

58. Sex with Donna . . . What did I forget?

Those of you who only know me by my latest posts are getting a heavy dose of sexual adventure. That definitely reflects my life over the last two to three weeks. Don’t forget though that to me, I am a typical housewife, with typical challenges and demands in life. I just have an atypical way of addressing them. And through that atypical way, domestic discipline, has far surpassed my wildest dreams. I am happy, Mike is happy, there are far fewer conflicts and those that arise are quickly and completely resolved, and we are exploring many of our lifelong sexual fantasies. I feel fulfilled and feel a greater sense of purpose and value, as does Mike. This one time control-freak who thought they had it all together now really does have it all together.

So, a story about today . . . .

I had the mornings and early afternoon to myself as our son started back at school. Donna was off work today and she came over at 11, just when it was time for me to remove the plug. I was naked when she arrived as I remain naked at home until it is time to pick up my son from school. She disrobed as soon as she was in my house as we now have this rule that she and I have to be naked when entering each other’s house – assuming no other guests. When we open the door the first question we ask is, “Hi, do you have any guests?”

Fast forward about, oh, 60 seconds, maybe less. We started kissing and groping and diving right in to having sex. It was wonderful to just have each other to ourselves without the guys around.

Well, we were still going at it when Mike came home as he often does for lunch. It was quite comical as he walked into our bedroom and calmly said, “Hello Jen, hello Donna.” It was as if we were just sitting at the table enjoying some iced tea instead of naked on the bed with our faces buried in each other’s pussies. However, he then said, “Jen, you were supposed to text me when Donna comes over and Donna, you are supposed to let John know as well. We agreed you all could have sex without us, but we needed to be informed.”

Crap, I forgot, and so did Donna.

Donna texted John right away and let him know she had already been over and forgot to tell him.   A few minutes later Mike’s cell rang and it was John. They talked for a while. When the call was over Mike told me to go get “little bit.” That’s the name we have for this 12 inch oak paddle we have. He made a point to tell Donna that John said she not only needs to watch, but that she would be next. John wanted Mike to spank her.

This is new. Mike and I have both spanked and flogged her before, but as part of play, not punishment, and John was always there.   I met this with mixed emotions. Part of me thought, “What fun, we get to share a punishment!” But part of me said, “Wait, this is just between Mike and me. Do I really want him punishing someone else?”   Whatever conflict I was thinking in my head I didn’t show it. I got the paddle and brought it over to Mike. I got over his knee and he gave me some warm ups by hand, then proceeded to give me 15 with the paddle. He then had me stand up and told me to put my arms above my head and face him so I could watch him spank Donna.   He called Donna over and had Donna go over his knee.   My thought was, “not over the knee.” That is too personal, too intimate. Why not just have her bend over. It made me a little sad, and actually a little jealous, and I am not prone to jealousy.

He gave her some warm ups by hand and then 15 with the paddle.   He then said that in addition to the punishment for not informing him and John, we also would be punished for using up part of his lunch hour. He instructed both of us to stand on each side of the bed, then, keeping our legs on the floor, bend over so our chests were flat on the bed. He told us to hold each other’s hands and to look each other in the eye. He then took off his belt and gave each of us 10 very hard ones.

I was thinking, “Oh no, now the aftercare. That is very personal. That’s MY time with Mike. Plus, John and Donna have different rituals, she doesn’t appreciate what we do. This is isn’t for her. Don’t let her into our aftercare!”   All of this was going on in my mind. I didn’t actually say anything.

Mike called us both over and he hugged each of us with one arm and told us to hug as well so we were in this group hug. He had us state why were punished, however, instead of ending in the “all is forgiven” part of our Aftercare, he said, “All is forgiven with me, but there is still John who was not respected. Jen, you will go over to their house this evening so that John can spank both you and Donna, and then all is forgiven.”

Okay, now I am really freaking out inside. I was punished once before over at their house without Mike and I hated it. I didn’t like that Mike spanked Donna in such an intimate way, including her in the aftercare, and now I have to get spanked without him.   Again, I didn’t say anything.   I know I am putting a lot of meaning into all of this and I could try to rationalize it away, but it doesn’t change how I feel. There’s not much in our DD that falls under that category of, “I don’t like it one bit, but I’ll go along with it.” This falls in that category.

So, about an hour ago I went over to John and Donna’s, without Mike, and John spanked the both of us. He used this three pronged strap called a Tawse. That was new to me. I was nervous because John and Donna are more aggressive with giving/receiving pain as Donna as a bit of a masochist. Plus, from my last experience I knew the act of getting spanked just isn’t as fun when it is someone other than Mike doing it. I kept myself focused on the fact that this all was Mike’s wishes and by submitting to this I was submitting to Mike. That helped, a bit. Overall I’d say it did hurt more than Mike’s spanking earlier, but I wasn’t all that focused on it. I was more of the mindset, “just get it over with.” Emotionally I was disconnected.   I got through it and that was that. I really don’t like getting spanked by anyone but Mike.

So, I am back home now, chores all done, red ass and all. I journaled a bit and, of course, wrote this. I’ll make sure our son is gets wound down and into bed and then I have a bit of quiet time with Mike, channel surfing or whatever he wants. Then showered and in bed with lights out by 10 p.m.

Tomorrow I’ll remember to text Mike! Okay, actually, it won’t be tomorrow because Donna works. So maybe the day after! Funny that Mike and John didn’t think that a worse punishment would be to say we couldn’t see each other for one week!   I think that they would feel they would be punishing themselves as they both love the fact that Donna and I had sex.   We had to share all the details with them!   Typical guys!

My attempt to accept getting spanked by John is simply to accept that I don’t have to like it. I probably shouldn’t like it. It is a punishment, and even though Mike wasn’t doing the spanking, he is still exerting dominance by ordering me to submit. I really love that part. Regardless of my love for that part, I will strive to never have to repeat that. I will obviously share these feeling with Mike, not in an effort to make him stop this, but simply because sharing our feelings is what we do, well, for sure something that I do. And if I blog it, I am sure to talk to him about it. I don’t want him learning something from the blog that I didn’t already share with him.

By the way, Mike and John made it clear to us that when Donna and I “transgress” together, there will be dual punishments if those transgressions fall under the rules of both houses.

So be it. The life of a sub isn’t always going to be fun.

NEXT:  59.  Ice, Ice, Baby.