Tag Archives: COVID

353. On this date, March 153, 2020

So yes, I am alive. I really want to blog, but while it is mostly because I am lacking inspiration, I’ve come to understand that I am also lacking confidence. I’ve discovered that all bloggers, or anyone who creates a presence online, whether YouTube, Twitter, or whatever, need to have a level of confidence to continue that presence. A confidence that what they say matters, even if only to themselves.

For years my motivation for blogging was driven by knowing what I had to write mattered to me. I needed to get my thoughts out, think through experiences in more detail, and reconcile my new found lifestyle with who I once was. I’ve done that. Simply, I am at peace with my lifestyle. It’s really more than that. I am ecstatic with my life, but I am no longer intrigued by my inner workings and desires, nor amused by certain things. I don’t want to make it sound like I am bored – I am not. It’s just that my daily life seems routine to me.

For instance. My day today? This entire week was “deep clean” week. I moved all the furniture in each room, cleaned the floors, wiped all the baseboards, and even did paint touch ups of the nicks and scratches. I wasn’t even spanked once!

Yes, I am just a typical suburban submissive wife in a plural/poly open/swinging marriage that dabbles in BDSM and shuns wearing clothes unless absolutely necessary. What’s interesting about that?

And this terrible new editor in WordPress makes posting a chore!

I reviewed my FIVE half-written posts and figured I could at least put together something of interest. My mind just can’t seem to concentrate long enough to complete a full post. I go back and look at my drafts and find them uninspiring, unflattering, or disconnected ramblings. Hey, who said that? Was that you? I definitely heard someone say, “Well, Jen, that about sums up all your posts!”

Sigh.

CIRCLE OF TRUST HIATUS
Here’s an update on our swinging within our Circle of Trust. Swingset has been closed, thanks to Covid. We haven’t been together with our friends since our blow-out Swing-fest just prior to Covid. That was almost three months ago, but it feels like three years.

CALENDAR “MARCHES” ON
I heard someone say that today isn’t July 31. It is March 153. That’s about right. Well, since March 1, all three of my kids had birthdays. They are now 31, 24, and 20. It shocks me that J is 20! Wow!

Mike and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary! Albeit with a moonlight walk around the park and nearby lake, and maybe a little “funny business” in the woods. (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

Mike just celebrated his 52 birthday, and my 51st is coming up. I don’t feel like I am in my 50’s. I still feel like, maybe 38? Whatever that means. Although, my lady-part problems are screaming, “Hey bitch, you are 51 and then some.” Yeah, I’ve had a return of my prior issues and a hysterectomy is in my future. I am fine with that, it’s just a bad time to schedule it re Covid and all. I am putting it off, maybe early next year if the discomfort doesn’t get too great.

Both Mike and Kayla’s jobs are secure for now, despite Covid. Both their companies had furloughs but they were not impacted. Kayla’s position is a bit tenuous and depending on how things go she might end up out of a job at some point. Mike’s position seems pretty solid. They both continue to work from home.

In some ways it been nice for the three of us to fully focus on just us. J has spent most of this pandemic at T1’s and E’s farm. Early on we visited a few times, and he came home for two weeks or so at one point. But he’s been “country-fied” and was dying to get back to the farm. He’s probably safer there if he keeps to T1 and E, but it’s L and the neighbors that worry me (aka, “The Nudies”).

With three kids and two adults, which include two young adults who can’t seem to stay away from their girlfriends, I am concerned about safety. J’s compromised immune system would likely struggle with Covid. We’ve put measures in place and it seems like everyone is adhering to them. So far, so good, but that’s of little solace knowing what the stakes are if someone gets careless. It worries me and I check in a lot, especially with Mrs. Nudie to make sure her and her family are acting responsibly.

Oh, and as I posted about previously, since March 1, we also celebrated our five years since adopting Domestic Discipline. Oh – and my blog turned 4 years old! So forget the hellscape that is America as we hurl towards civil war to fight a fascist take-over attempt in November, it’s all about ME and my milestones.

Yeah. I think my lack of enthusiasm for posting has something to do with that. I digress.

DISCIPLINE
Yes, I am still subject to Mike’s authority and discipline. I wouldn’t want it any other way. A spanking here, a spanking there. All in accordance with our Contract, which by default means, by my wishes. There have been a few “just because I need one” requests that I have made. I’ve found a good paddling is a tremendous release and distraction from world events. For me, reminding myself that my fulfillment comes from focusing on Mike and focusing on the things that make me happy (which is a redundant statement), helps reduce the stress and anxiety of living with a fascist leader of the country whose daily decisions kill people and put my own family at risk. Yeah, a spanking can actually make those thoughts melt away. At least for awhile.

I’ve share our Orgasm Control experiment in my last post. I made it through all of June without an orgasm. In fact, it wasn’t until July 2, that I came! Let’s just say fireworks came a little early, and cum they did! Mike then gave me “free reign” over my orgasms for almost two weeks, before restricting them again. Since then, I’ve been allowed here and there. I guess I could be posting more about it because that IS something that still amuses me and I am trying to fully understand my reaction.

I don’t want to repeat my prior post about it. Suffice to say that it still has had a very interesting and surprising impact on me. I think in a good way, but definitely in “a” way. Still sorting through that one. Strange indeed. Who knew?

Well, there you have it. That’s what’s been going on with me lately!

NEXT: 354. A SPANKING STORY

351. Our FREE (Three ) time THANKS TO Covid

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I suspect everyone has learned and experienced something new since the arrival of COVID.   Like a lot of you, we have had to spend an extended amount of time together, and for us, that means a lot of “thruple” time, with little to no engaging with others.

Early on in the “lockdown” we were still going to my son’s farm a few times a week.  They are isolated and we felt safe interacting with them, plus I felt it was important to stay connected with J, my youngest,  who is basically living full time on the farm with T and his wife.

As time went on it became clear it wasn’t necessary for J to see us.  Yes, it was a bit of a hit to the mom-ego, but it is mixed emotions of pride in seeing my baby bird fly and sadness that such flight means distance from me.  Plus, the risks of interacting outweighed the benefits.  COVID is additionally concerning to us because of J’s underlying health issues.  Even a run-of-the-mill respiratory issue could send him to the hospital. So, as of about a month ago,we stopped going to the farm.

FOCUS ON US THREE!
And, of course, we haven’t been engaging with our friends or family, including our “Circle of Trust.”   We took (and continue to take) this Covid stuff seriously.   The result is a lot of extended and uninterrupted time for the three of us to focus on, well, . . . on the three of us!

It has been nice to go two months without any kinky-fuckery outside our marriage  (yes, I use the term marriage to include Kayla, legally recognized or not!).    All three of us are in agreement that our sexual activities with our friends, while extremely fun and fulfilling, were becoming a substitute for the three of us spending time together and connecting.   We’ve come to appreciate focusing more on just each other, sexually and non-sexually.

DATE NIGHTS
We still plan to “play” with our COT in the future, but we plan to not lose sight of the need for the three of us to focus on us.   We have long had designated “date nights.”  One night a week where Mike and Kayla go out, one night for me and Mike, and every other week a night for me and Kayla.   But the three of us going out together wasn’t a scheduled thing, and was becoming rare.  We plan to change that.  While there will still be one-on-one date nights, we will make sure there are regular one-on-one-on-one date nights as well!

Date nights have continued throughout COVID, but instead of attending events, dinner, movie, club, or whatever, the dates have been a drive and walk around the park (sometimes more than just a “walk” in the park wink-wink, nudge nudge).

We discovered that we all love these walks (with or without impromptu sexual acts).  It has been rewarding to simply walk hand in hand and do this strange thing called “talking.”   Sure, we’d talk over dinner in the past, but it isn’t the same type of intimate, reflective, and uninterrupted conversations you can have during a stroll in the park.  While we have a lot of meaningful conversations twice a week during Maintenance, the vibe is different.   Maintenance is more of a dutiful and structured thing.  Still extremely important, but not the same as the dialogue we have outside of Maintenance.

US VERSUS THE WORLD
I guess what I am trying to share is that we’ve been able to connect in a different way, a more meaningful way, over the last two months.   It isn’t like we were feeling disconnected pre-Covid.  We simply didn’t know what we were missing.

We feel even more connected, sort of an “us versus the world” mindset.   Not in an adversarial way, but a sense of a purposeful existence.    It’s as if the three of us feel like our purpose for existing is to complete each other, to be a part of each other, to be one “thing” composed of three people.   The rest of the world does nothing to add to this one “thing”  thus it is as if the rest of the world does not exist.  Maybe “us without the world” would be a better term than “versus” the world?   This mindset makes what we have felt all the more special, warm, loving, safe, secure, and meaningful.

The three of us talk about this feeling as we all sense it and connect to it.  HOWEVER — funny thing is, we also agree we can’t wait for it to be over!    We  feel that while it is amazing to feel so extra connected during these times, that ultimately we all need to engage the world around us, including the people in that world.   An indefinite “us without the world” would eventually make us feel isolated, alone, and yearning for interaction outside our pod of three.   We know that because it will soon be three months of that and we are already yearning!

We are still enjoying our “three’ time.   But we also look forward when that focus can be on how the three once again interact with the world around us.  And that interaction includes the mundane of just crowded streets, people we see at stores and the strangers who enrich our days with their antics.  Who would have thought those things held any importance in our lives?

Oh, and of course, we look forward to f**king  the friends within our COT.   Lol!

Okay, time to talk about something more lurid and erotic.  Next post will be something more sex-related, which, let’s be honest, is what you most want to read from me!