Category Archives: 8. Random

Various commentary and stories not necessarily directly related to my DD lifestyle.

300. Don da da don! 300th post – and it’s Intense!

300

Wow.  I never imagined I would do 300 posts.  I thought my need to share was complete at post 13  Hey, who just muttered, “Yeah, it should have been.”  I heard that.  Be nice!

Yes, this is one of those self-congratulatory “look at me” sort of posts.  Uh, that sort of describes a lot of my posts.  Okay, this is an especially self-congratulatory post.

THE FIRST 100
It was back in December 2016 that I posted 
#100In it, I stated, “I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires, and actions.”  Yep.

I boasted of 45,000 views and about 8,800 visitors since starting the blog in April of that year.   My how things have grown. 

THE SECOND 100
Was completed about a year later, in December 2017 when I posted 
#200 where,  in a rant, I used balloons as an example to explain to my sister why my DD doesn’t buy into the mindset of a misogynistic culture that does little to discourage sexual misconduct by men.  Yeah, I did that.  Balloons.  The connection should be obvious, but if it isn’t, read the post.

Oh, and in the second 100, in between posts about some surprising thought, desire or action, I wrote of how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires an actions.

THE THIRD 100
I did better than balloons!  I wrote of “managing the cans” and even mathematically calculated a Domestic Discipline Readiness Score.  And if that’s not evidence of an insightful yet evolving blog, then surely this is — even more posts about the same topic, vulnerability!

Oh.  And yeah,  more posts on how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires and actions.

TODAY
I am still writing about how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires, and actions.  Well, this time I really mean it.  At least, until something happens that surprises me.

And analogies?  I am great with analogies.  Sometimes my analogies are so good that they are as good as like, as like, . . . whatever.  So yeah, as long as my sisters keep questioning my DD, I will continue to create whatever analogies I can to make my point.

And apparently, it resonates with some of you.  I had 481,000 views from 88,000 visitors in 2018, about double from the year before.  And since the beginning, I have had over 750,000 views.  I could reach a million by mid-year.  Yeah, that’s good for a hit of dopamine or two.  Thank you for that.

MOST POPULAR PAGES IN 2018
Same as last year and by a wide margin.  Post 25. Intense Spanking Part II with 33,807 views.   And the odd thing, the prior post, Part I, only had 2,497.  The difference is Part I talks of my feelings and Part II explains the actual punishment.  Clearly, those who read Part II saw no need to read Part I.  And all this time I thought you were mostly here for my heartfelt journey of rebirth and renewal.  Well, I never!!  

The second most popular was at 9,832 views – a huge gap between #1 and #2.   It must be one where I share my mind-stimulating, life-altering philosophy for endless fulfillment.  Well, no it mustn’t.  Another spanking post re Post 133. Intense Punishment.  Hum.  Is the word “intense” somehow a magnet for views?  I wouldn’t dream of simply adding it to a title just to see if it attracts views. 

And #3 was the first Domestic Discipline Contract I posted, 12. Our DD Contract with 5,613 views.   Yeah! I am proud of my contract!  Hopefully, it serves as fodder for others.  No, not to burn in effigy, but as inspiration for codifying their own dynamic. 

COUNTRIES
U.S. was tops in 2018 by far with 351,801, followed by the UK at 28,776 and Canada at 19,006.  Top countries where English isn’t the primary language was Germany at 9,354, India at 8,006 and Sweden at 4,396.   Way to go Swedes!  Is it perhaps because they love our age gap with Kayla?  This report says they do.  Scandinavians are so cool with their kink, and basically about life in general.  I love the Scandinavian mindset about a lot of things in life.  I often thought if I had to live in some other country, it would likely be one of the Scandinavian or Nordic countries.  I digress.     

SPECIAL THANKS – REFERRERS
The top referrer to my blog was once again Bottomsmarts, a Blogspot blog that is all things spanking.  

Next up on the referrer list is a blog that no longer exists.  It was Ournaturistblog.  They reblogged one of my posts when we were just becoming nudists.  I hope I didn’t so offend their readers that they had to shut down their blog!  hee-hee.  Of course not.  If that were the case, they would just delete their reblog.   It’s too bad they left, as they had some great nudist-culture content.  

Third up is Sayyidsgirl.  Interesting story and someone I chatted with at the beginnings of her journey.  Started out seeking a submissive role, and ended up more as a Domme, or as she puts it, “a switch who dominates.”  

SPECIAL THANKS – COMMENTORS
Naughty Nora topped the comment list and had 1,533 click-throughs to her page.  See, it’s good to make comments!  Check out her great musings on DD in her marriage and kink in general.

Next up was Sweet Girls Journal, another forty-something mother who found bliss in D/s.    And third was so close that I had to include both of them.  Collared Michael and Kdaddy

What’s cool about them is that it illustrates a broader community within TTWD.   Both have very different dynamics than me.  Check out Michael and learn about his journey in a FLM, including caged male chastity.  And check out Kdaddy – a bisexual, polyamorous guy providing meaningful insights into his own unique lifestyle.  

SPECIAL THANKS – THE EMAILERS
I won’t name you by name, but you know who you are.  I appreciate those who take the time to email me and share their story, or ask a question, or hound me mercilessly.  Just kidding.  No one does that.  Everyone is so kind and I enjoy every email. 

Thank you, and may the next 100 be as interesting to you as it is cathartic to me.  May they make you laugh in delight rather than puke in disgust!  Goals!

297. Love without Limits – My Ode to Blogging

297

So many things I could share — A spanking I got?  Nah.  How about some expressive rant about what submission means to me?  Nope.  Talk of sex with John and Donna?  Uh-uh.  Oh, I have a new person I could tell you about, that’s it!  Nah, just not feeling it.   

Why am I not feeling it?

I’ve been cogitating on my prior post where I shared feeling self-conscious about my nipple piercings and pubic coiffure.  The term “self-conscious” never really resonated with adequately describing what I was feeling.   So what is it??

Then it hit me.  I realized there was more to it than a feeling of self-consciousness.  Further, whatever I am feeling is related to my posting hiatus at the end of the year and my lack of focus on what to share on this post.  Yep, what’s going on is deeper than I imagined. 

More on that in a bit. 

WHY I STARTED BLOGGING
Just after our first anniversary of giving Domestic Discipline a whirl, I reflected on my journey in self-amazement.  I couldn’t fully wrap my head around how far things evolved, not just in a DD sense or a kink sense, but in a relationship sense with Mike.  I had to write things down to fully think through and articulate to myself what this all meant to me.  So I did.  I typed pages and pages of stuff recalling my journey and thought process.  I did it as a mental and emotional exercise, initially not intending it for anyone else to read. 

But the more I typed, the more excited I got.  I just had to share my wonderment.  Yeah, a bit narcissistic, but hey, when you feel you found a good thing, you want to shout it from the rooftops.  But where?  I recalled having read a few blogs as part of my initial research.  That’s it, I would blog about it!

I took those early writings and turned them into my first dozen posts, up to the point I shared my first detailed Domestic Discipline Contract.   I initially never thought I’d go beyond that, but hey, I was hooked.  It was fun to blog, and a great way to sort through my thoughts.  So, with Post 13. Now what? “…the sting of the paddle?”, I stated my intent to keep posting.   I had no idea it would lead to almost three years of sharing in almost 300 posts.     

WHAT’S THE UPSIDE?
All the while I had Mike keeping an eye on my blogs.  He is very private, and his go-to response to sharing even the tiniest morsel of personal information online is, “What’s the upside?”  To his credit, he has been good about allowing most things I want to share, with a few obfuscations as to names and some other details.

Mike understood my upside.  Sharing was exhilarating for me, liberating, self-validating.  It warms me to know that others may find value in my insights and journey.  These feelings have propelled me to keep sharing and share more. 

But something has changed, and I was incorrect in my last post.  I am not feeling self-conscious about anything.   So what am I feeling?

SITTING ON A GOLD MINE!
I cherish the life I have, a life that I have worked hard to achieve along with Mike.  I feel so fulfilled, so purposeful, so meaningful in my day-to-day living.  More connected to Mike, more connected to my kids, and to everyone.   I’ve experienced the joy that comes through loving without limits, and it’s not just the sex.  The “free” sexuality aspect of TTWD is just one of many ways to express love without limits.  Such love goes beyond my submission, the sex, and the kink — but to be honest, it was the submission, the sex, and kink that showed us how to love without limits. 

It led us to John and Donna, to Kayla, to the naturalist lifestyle (and the conversation with the neighbors), to helping my friend Valerie,  to interesting conversations with other friends of mine, and to Matt.   Philosophically, it reinforced my belief that your perception is your reality.   And once I perceived a more loving, accepting, and nurturing world, that world became my reality.  Without getting on too much of tangent, I believe people project a certain vibe, and that vibe attracts or repels certain things…people, experiences, etc.   Project a different vibe, attract a different life – it’s karma.

I feel I have this great life that is extremely precious, more so than ever before.  

PROTECT THE GOLD
My life is a gold mine of fulfillment, pleasure, joy, and love.  Why do anything to risk it?  Why put it out there for others to scrutinize?  Why risk coming into contact with the wackos like the “
Fuck you, John” troll?   Why should I be doing anything that poses even the slightest risk at upsetting my apple cart of bliss?  Why share anything shocking that may prompt a negative response or make it that more damning if I am uncovered?   Why open myself to criticism over a very alternative lifestyle?

This “What’s the upside” feeling has been a major headwind that has slowed my blogging

Yeah, all those risks were there from day one, but day one I did not feel I was risking anything of great value.  And now my DD, my whole dynamic, everything about my life that I have shared — it’s priceless to me.  What’s the upside in putting it out there?

So I started feeling more protective of the life I built.  I didn’t want to “show it off” on my blog.  I didn’t want to do anything to draw attention to me or my dynamic.  The piercing and pube thing?  Yeah, that’s minor, but was all about trying to be more invisible.  I responded to fewer emails, I posted less (or not at all), I didn’t talk about it with friends who were aware of certain aspects of TTWD, and I became very passive in so many aspects of my life.  Yeah, trying to be more invisible.

REALLY, WHAT’S THE UPSIDE?
If writing is cathartic, I can do so without putting it on my blog.  So I thought, aha, that’s it, I’ll continue to write but just put it all in my diary.   

But as I considered this, I realized something.  That would just suck.  That would be boring.  And frankly, I hate being invisible.  It just isn’t me.  I am typically “loud and proud.”  And let’s face it, blogging is fulfilling.

Through blogging, I gain. . .

EMPOWERMENT
It creates a strong sense of community that can’t be replaced IRL.  Sure, I could try to forge relationships by going to a FetLife function, but let’s be honest, that’s not where you go to workshop your esoteric rambles!   If it is, tell me where you live, I want to go to one of your FetLife functions.   Let’s face it, self-expression is just more difficult IRL.  Yeah, blogging creates a sense of community, and that sense is empowering.

ATTENTION?
Sure, I could just write in my diary, but that lacks the “publicness” of a blog (is that a word? it is now).  And let’s be real.  The attention of the page views, the sharing in the “likes,” and the participation in the comments. . . yeah, being able to witness the impact of my self-expression gives me a little buzz.   Who can’t help but like the little dopamine hit that comes with every click count we see, every like we get, and each comment that is made?   Look at me, look at me!! hee-hee.  Yeah, I admit it, as I have before, I am a bit selfish.   And, I already said I was a bit of an exhibitionist.

SELF DISCIPLINE 
Making myself think through an event or emotion helps build the emotional muscle memory to make better knee-jerk thoughts in the future. So many times I’ve started to type the “why” or “what” about a feeling, only to realize after typing it out, my initial thoughts were not really what was going on in my soul.   The exercise of getting to the bottom of what and why I am feeling something is just like any exercise.  It builds muscle – in this case, “emotional muscle,” to better understand my feelings going forward.  

BETTER LISTENER
Understanding myself better and allowing myself to be more vulnerable allows me to better understand others and approach them in a way that is more empathetic.  In fact, I’ve found the WordPress community to be empathetic, which makes it even easier to demonstrate my empathy.   I’ve learned from Twitter that it serves no useful purpose to have a dialogue with people who lack the basic empathetic skills necessary to view any experience other than their own as legitimate.  Yeah, that pretty much sums up Twitter.   In any event, that’s not what I get here.  People who aren’t into TTWD either just move on, or may still politely inquire or comment about one thing or another.

MORE ASSERTIVE
I just realized there is an assertiveness-building aspect to blogging.   I don’t mean assertive in an “in-your-face” thing.  That’s not assertive, that’s aggressive.   I mean boldly stating TTWD without apology helps reinforce my confidence in TTWD. 

I AM GOING TO KEEP GOING
I encourage everyone to blog, whether about dating, cooking, a day-in-the-life, or your significant other spanking your insolent butt!  Whatever the topic, it can deliver all the above rewards.

Blogging about TTWD has become important to me.  I’ll get through this funk and plan to keep on blogging.   Yeah, there are risks, but nothing worth gaining comes without some risk.  The risks are small as long as I remain diligent and under Mike’s watchful eye (and firm hand).     

Hopefully, my sharing serves as one more crack in the cornerstone of thinking that kink is disgusting, except your own. Embrace your kink and find others who will embrace it with you!  I sure have.  IRL and with you!  

Love without limits, and you get loved without limits. 

Next: 298. Beware I.S.D’s – Improvised Spanking Device

296. Piercings and Pubes

296

If you haven’t figured out by now, I lack an ability to be succinct.   I am not one to say in a few words what I can exhaustively analyze, deconstruct, and put back together in hundreds of words.  See, even then I couldn’t just leave it as an inability to be succinct.

I thought this would be a quick post.  Simply to state that I let my nipple piercings close and have been growing my pubic hair.    

Done.  End of post!

Not.

JEN IS EMBARRASSED?
I am not one to normally feel self-conscious about things, whether it is what people think about TTWD, or about my appearance, or really about anything.   However – I found myself becoming more self-conscious about my nipple piercings and pubic hair.  

It’s ironic that our nudism was part of the trigger for this uneasiness.  After all, I’ve found that nudism makes you less self-conscious and more accepting of your body.   Yeah, I get it.  I can try to rationalize away my uneasiness, but sometimes, you just can’t.  You feel what you feel and you just have to deal!  Emotions don’t care about logic.   

Pre-nudism, my piercings and pubic hair were private and limited to the purview of those involved in TTWD.  But now that we are full-fledged nudists, well, it ain’t so private anymore!  And had a growing self-perception was that I was putting out a message that didn’t represent me or my thoughts.  Something had to change.  Those thoughts weren’t changing, so, the piercings had to go, and the hair had to return. 

HAIR DOWN THAIR
For the longest time, Mike had me and Kayla with the same “look” down there, whether it be hair or no hair.  But then Mike went through a phase where he had one of us sporting one look while the other sports another.  “Visual variety” as he calls it!   Um, okay, as if our different physiques weren’t visual enough.  Mine is not to question why.  Mine is but to do or get spanked!   lol

My self-consciousness over this started when I was bare and Kayla was bushy.  It started to feel to me like I was putting out the perception that I was trying too hard to do what the young folks do.  

And it wasn’t just my mind comparing myself to Kayla.  When we are at T & E’s farm, I am often the only one bare down there.   At times the 17-year old has been bare, but it messes with my mind either way.  When she is bare, I feel like I am trying to “style” myself after the teenager.  When she doesn’t, it compounds my self-consciousness that I am the odd one.  

NIFTY 50
Part of what was going through my mind is that I am going to be 50 later this year.  I also think 
my tattoo added another wrinkle to a weakened psyche.  Not to say a 50-year old can’t rock a new tat along with her nipple piercings and bare pussy. . . but THIS 50-year old?  Why do I want piercings drawing more attention to my vein-marbled-droopy-boobies along with looking like I am trying really hard to “compete” with Kayla?

Adding to what was influencing my emotions — I am only around naked women who are younger than me, and sometimes much younger.  Kayla is the 24-year old with the awesome figure, yet no nipple piercings.  (She did pierce her nipples and clit shortly after moving in with us, but let them close-up only after a few months).  

Again, I get it.  I know there is nothing wrong with anyone of any age piercing whatever they want to pierce, or having their pubic hair in whatever shape or length that they want, or getting a new tattoo at any age.    It was just for me, all this added up to something my psyche wasn’t comfortable with it. 

THE GUYS?
For whatever reason, the pube situation in the men and boys has no influence over my uneasiness.  If you are keeping score, you can mark down Mike as one who goes back and forth with his look.  Frankly, he would probably leave it grown out but Kayla enjoys shaving him and he never refuses when she asks.  And as for other menfolk, it’s a mixed bag of various looks from bare to full to all things in-between.  

MIKE’S SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
In discussing this with Mike, he shared that he also was starting to feel a bit self-conscious about the pube thing, but with Kayla.  H
e said the first time we were around others and Kayla was bare and I wasn’t, he started to think others might be inclined to think he wants Kayla to look like a little girl.  Like, it isn’t enough that she is so much younger than him, and is very youthful in her physique, but she makes herself look more like a little girl.  Wow, that never crossed my mind, but once he said it, I too had a hard time getting it out of my mind.

REFLECTION
We both know that the chances are good these thoughts are only in our mind and not what others are thinking.  And even if they aren’t 
thinking such things, so what?  Right?  Well, again, you can’t rationalize away some thoughts.   

It would be different for us if the “others” we are talking about were strangers at a nudist beach or kink-friends involved in TTWD.   But we are a family of nudists in a growing family of nudists.  I think that’s why, in this particular situation, I am more sensitive to thinking about what others might be thinking. 

I don’t mind people thinking odd or ill thoughts of me regarding our relationship with Kayla or any aspect of TTWD that they may be privy too.   If they don’t like it, well, too bad.   But, it bothers me to think that others may believe that I feel I am in competition with Kayla, and it bothers Mike to think others may believe he is into little girls.   To be clear, no one has ever indicated or implied any such things.   These are just things in our minds, but they are powerful enough that we have addressed them. 

And don’t think I am some fragile self-conscious timid and insecure person.   I am not.  But when it comes to my nipple piercings and my bare pubic area —  well, guilty!  

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW?
So piercings are gone and hair is growing back. 

I remain committed to sporting whatever type of pubic hair, or lack thereof, that Mike wishes, and will pierce whatever part of my body he wants me to pierce.  But for now, he has allowed me to remove the piercings.  And he had Kayla shave so that both she and I were bare together, and then we both have been growing it in for about a month now.

I sense at some point I will look back at this and not relate to feeling self-conscious and find my feelings silly.  But frankly, it is not up to me anyway.  I will share with Mike whatever it is I am felling at whatever time he may ask about it, and will abide by his demands.   I just hope he doesn’t ask for a bejeweled butterfly a la the image I used on this post!  Then again, maybe I can usher in a new trend for the newly 50-somethings!

Next: Post 297. Love without Limits.  My Ode to Blogging. 

295. The one about the comment (the “Fuck You John” troll)

295

I wrestled with whether I was going to do a post about this, but clearly, my internal “Post it” camp beat out the “Don’t Post it” camp.

You have to read the comments by “Inspired by Music” on Post 289. The Holidays- Thanksgiving.

I really feel for her as she obviously was messed up by her experience with some guy named John, who she mistook me for.   With each successive comment, I began to worry that what I said could actually influence her emotional and possibly physical well being.  It was a bit unsettling for me, but I imagine even more so for her, as initially, she believed I was John (and maybe still does?).     

She stopped commenting and I never received an email from her.  She also deleted her own blog which had a handful of posts.  I think she finally accepted that I was not this John fellow.   I am going off that assumption and thus decided to do this post. 

Her comments definitely have me wanting more.  Who is John?  What other blogs has she thought were him?  Were any of them actually him?  What is it that I have in common with him that made my blog feel like John wrote it?    What did John do to her?  What’s her story?  

I hope she is able to move beyond her disgust for John and see the humor in the mistaken identity.  If not, at least I hope that you do.  Take a look at those comments

Wow, a short post by Jen!  (Hey, I heard that!).  

.

.

.

or is it John?   lol.

Next Post:  296. Piercings and Pubes

291. The Holidays – New Year’s Eve

291

This is the third and final post catching you up on my holidays.  And it is just in time as it is actually New Year’s Eve!

I’ve shared with you a bit about my Thanksgiving and Christmas following the death of my father.  Now, it’s on to New Year’s!!

NEW YEAR’S EVE
T2 and G had to get back to California, and we decided to spend New Year’s Eve at T2’s and E’s place, much to J’s delight.

J really loves their emerging farm.  There is still a lot of work to do at their new place, but it is slowly coming together.  They got a pet pig!  As in, yes, a pet.  It’s amazing.  They are as smart, maybe smarter, than most dogs.  It roams the house just like a dog would.  J loves it.   And of course, J gets to see his girlfriend, L.

OH YEAH, J’s GIRLFRIEND
They still sort of dating, to whatever extent that word has meaning for young ‘uns these days.  I mean, apparently L had a sort of boyfriend at school, but just someone she would go to movies with and hold hands.  They apparently did kiss as well, so yeah, I’d call that dating, but, they don’t.  It’s odd to hear 11-13-year-olds talking about “not being exclusive” but that’s how they talk about it.  Like, “Yeah, I like him okay, and we have fun together, but it’s not like there is any obligation to be boyfriend and girlfriend.”   All of that contrasted with the fact that L does call J her boyfriend.  Wow, a little poly girl in the making.  Just kidding! 

Really, it is fascinating.   Of course, they shun any labels.  To them, it isn’t being poly or being anything.  It is simply “being.”  They don’t see it as a big deal, or any sized deal.  It simply isn’t a deal.  It just is.  Maybe we can learn something from that?

And J is fine with that.  He isn’t the least bit jealous and was quite logical about it.  “She lives far away and has a social life at school.  Of course, she will meet boys she likes to hang out with.  That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like hanging out with me when we get the chance.  At the point she doesn’t want to hang with me, she won’t hang with me, no different than me with her.”   I was startled to hear him say that.  Or in their vernacular, “I am shook.”   Not in a negative way, just in a surprising way, a pleasantly surprised way. 

BACK TO NEW YEAR’S EVE FESTIVITIES
New Year’s Eve will be at J’s and E’s, along with E’s cousin, her husband, their three kids (aka, The Nudies), and J.  Apparently the three cousin’s kids have invited some friends over as well.  Not sure how many.  And yeah, given the extended guest list we had to ask about attire.  We were told it is the same as always.  At both J’s and E’s as well as at her cousin’s, it is always “clothing optional.”  So we trust that whatever other friends they will have there are duly advised.

It’s been rainy here, so no fireworks ban where J & E live.  They apparently stocked up along with E’s cousin to put on quite the private fireworks show.   Plus all the smaller stuff that goes with it.  Hum, maybe sparklers and nudity aren’t such a good idea?   Plus, it’s supposed to be cold outside.   

Flying sparks and near freezing temps aren’t a place for our kibbles and bits.  I guess we will find out who the die-hard nudists are in the family!

Happy 2019!

Next: 292.  Kayla’s Triad Thursday Declaration

290. The Holidays – Christmas

290

This is my attempt to catch up on some things I would have posted about during my respite.  Minus the spankings, blow jobs, sex with friends, and that kind of stuff.   Just mostly G-rated going on’s in an otherwise X-rated lifestyle.  (Actually, I think NC-17 is more appropriate than X, but, whatever).

I wrote about my Thanksgiving on my prior post.  Now, on to Christmas!  Before I get into that, I realize with so many posts so close together, it may be easy to miss something very important to me.  My dad passed away.  If you missed that post, you can read it here. 

CHRISTMAS
Traditionally we would get together Christmas Eve at Mike’s parents and Christmas Day at mine.  With Mike’s parents passing last year, and with my dad’s passing, it’s clear new traditions are in order.  (His mom passed away almost exactly one year before my dad).

Mike’s siblings still make it a point to get together on holidays.  This year, one of his nieces actually played host.  She’s got a nice house that could accommodate everyone and we had a nice dinner and present exchange with Mike’s side of the family.

Our own house was full much of the time.  T1 and E stayed several days with us so as not to have to drive back and forth (they live about 2.5 hours away).  And T2 and his girlfriend, G, came in from California and also stayed with us.  It was great having a full house.  And yes, much of the time we were all nude.  We have fully embraced a nudist lifestyle and it is our default.   

Christmas morning was the eight of us… me, Mike, Kayla, T1 & E, T2 & G, and J.   Late afternoon we all went over to my mom’s and joined up with my siblings and their kids. 

It has been several years since so many of us were together.  My brother doesn’t always come down for Christmas, and as the nieces and nephews are older, have their own families, and have spread out geographically,  they don’t always get together for Christmas.  However this year my dad’s passing had everyone focused on being with my mom.  It was really great, and it wasn’t lost on anyone that it may be the last time so many of us are together at the same time.  

The “next generation” — my kids and their cousins – is getting older, having their own families, their own in-laws, and forming their own traditions.  It’s not realistic to expect them to attend every “Christmas as my mom’s.”   That’s just how families evolve.     We all sensed this.  And with my dad’s passing, we also sensed how precious every moment is.  We all appreciated every moment of this very special Christmas.

289. The Holidays – Thanksgiving

289

Two posts in one day!  (actually, more to come).   Overdue stuff about my holidays.  

Yes, you’ll have to endure more posts devoid of debauchery.   I can already hear the clicks of many of you hitting your back button to return to whatever you were doing before coming here.   

Come on, it can’t always be about kinky stuff!  
I am not just some sex slave, sex machine, sex, sex, sex and more sex type of person.  Okay, let’s be honest.  I mean, yeah, I am sort of that type of person, but, . . . not completely!  lol.       

If I had kept with my posts, this would have been three separate posts…one about Thanksgiving, one about Christmas, and one about New Year’s.   You know what?  I am still going to make it three posts.  Tell ‘ya what… I’ll make sure my post AFTER these three is something more kink related!

THANKSGIVING 
My dad’s funeral was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  A lot of extended family decided to stay through Thanksgiving, which was really great.  The hustle and bustle of so many people helped bring love and joy to a somber time.   Death is a tricky thing for families to deal with as each person deals with it differently.   My mom could have preferred to be left alone more, but she welcomed the commotion of so many guests.   She is in her element when she gets to play host.   My sisters and I helped out a lot, of course. 

Thanksgiving was exclusively focused on my side of the family this year.   Mike’s parents passed away last year, his dad at the start of 2017, and his mom, in November of last year (almost exactly one year before my dad).   Mike does have siblings nearby, but this year we didn’t see any of them or their kids as part of an official “Thanksgiving” festivity. 
My sister hosted Thanksgiving day at her place, to make it easier on mom and because she has plenty of space.

“Hi, I am Kayla, I am, uh, uh, well…” 
Quick note: Kayla turned 24 in November.   Happy Birthday to her!!  Also, you may recall she moved in right after Christmas two years ago!  So happy birthday and happy anniversary of sorts.  Wow.  Two years! 

While many in attendance knew of our relationship with Kayla, there were some who did not, especially the more extended family and the friends of the family who attended the funeral.  Not that we would make a big deal about it, we still needed to address how Kayla would respond if asked about her relationship with the deceased.  It is really no different from what may be asked of T2’s girlfriend.  Of course, T2’s girlfriend can simply say, “I am T2’s, the grandson’s, girlfriend.”  So what should Kayla say?    

Given our love for sarcasm and tomfoolery,  we were tempted to have her just say she was my wife, thus, she was my dad’s daughter-in-law.  That would surely leave them puzzled, but wouldn’t be technically accurate.  We considered a shock-and-awe approach might be funny.  She could say, “Oh, I am Mike and Jen’s lover.”   That would be accurate, but perhaps TMI?  

We decided the best response is the same as T2’s girlfriend.  “I am Mike and Jen’s girlfriend.  Jen is the daughter of the deceased.”  Kayla decided that if asked what that meant, her response would be, “I am their girlfriend.  I live with them, and we all love each other.”   Mike and I felt that was a great response.

Sure, she could have just gone with, “I am Jen’s girlfriend,” knowing that most would assume it to mean “girl who is a friend.”  But we felt including Mike was not only more accurate but appropriate.  We do not feel like we have to hide anything.  

Kayla did find herself explaining who she was.  Some asked nothing more of her, but most actually played it honestly and nicely, no different than they would have for T2’s girlfriend.   Some did acknowledge the strangeness with something like, “Well, that’s different.”  But most proceeded with a matter-of-fact conversation that anyone may have with someone’s significant other.  They would ask her how long we’ve been dating or questions about herself, her schooling, stuff like that.

I believe the setting helped with creating a more courteous tone and mindset among the guests.  I also think that, with the exception of some of dad’s “Bubba” friends, (we are in Texas after all), most either don’t care about what other’s do, or they simply find it within themselves to be civil despite any personal feelings to the contrary.

While we have been very open to everyone about our relationship with Kayla, it still feels nice when a social situation arises that requires affirmation of our relationship.  I know it makes Kayla feel more accepted and more a part of us, knowing that she indeed is part of us and that “we” refers to “three.” 

Next: Post 290.  The Holidays – Christmas