Category Archives: 8. Random

Various commentary and stories not necessarily directly related to my DD lifestyle.

353. On this date, March 153, 2020

So yes, I am alive. I really want to blog, but while it is mostly because I am lacking inspiration, I’ve come to understand that I am also lacking confidence. I’ve discovered that all bloggers, or anyone who creates a presence online, whether YouTube, Twitter, or whatever, need to have a level of confidence to continue that presence. A confidence that what they say matters, even if only to themselves.

For years my motivation for blogging was driven by knowing what I had to write mattered to me. I needed to get my thoughts out, think through experiences in more detail, and reconcile my new found lifestyle with who I once was. I’ve done that. Simply, I am at peace with my lifestyle. It’s really more than that. I am ecstatic with my life, but I am no longer intrigued by my inner workings and desires, nor amused by certain things. I don’t want to make it sound like I am bored – I am not. It’s just that my daily life seems routine to me.

For instance. My day today? This entire week was “deep clean” week. I moved all the furniture in each room, cleaned the floors, wiped all the baseboards, and even did paint touch ups of the nicks and scratches. I wasn’t even spanked once!

Yes, I am just a typical suburban submissive wife in a plural/poly open/swinging marriage that dabbles in BDSM and shuns wearing clothes unless absolutely necessary. What’s interesting about that?

And this terrible new editor in WordPress makes posting a chore!

I reviewed my FIVE half-written posts and figured I could at least put together something of interest. My mind just can’t seem to concentrate long enough to complete a full post. I go back and look at my drafts and find them uninspiring, unflattering, or disconnected ramblings. Hey, who said that? Was that you? I definitely heard someone say, “Well, Jen, that about sums up all your posts!”

Sigh.

CIRCLE OF TRUST HIATUS
Here’s an update on our swinging within our Circle of Trust. Swingset has been closed, thanks to Covid. We haven’t been together with our friends since our blow-out Swing-fest just prior to Covid. That was almost three months ago, but it feels like three years.

CALENDAR “MARCHES” ON
I heard someone say that today isn’t July 31. It is March 153. That’s about right. Well, since March 1, all three of my kids had birthdays. They are now 31, 24, and 20. It shocks me that J is 20! Wow!

Mike and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary! Albeit with a moonlight walk around the park and nearby lake, and maybe a little “funny business” in the woods. (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

Mike just celebrated his 52 birthday, and my 51st is coming up. I don’t feel like I am in my 50’s. I still feel like, maybe 38? Whatever that means. Although, my lady-part problems are screaming, “Hey bitch, you are 51 and then some.” Yeah, I’ve had a return of my prior issues and a hysterectomy is in my future. I am fine with that, it’s just a bad time to schedule it re Covid and all. I am putting it off, maybe early next year if the discomfort doesn’t get too great.

Both Mike and Kayla’s jobs are secure for now, despite Covid. Both their companies had furloughs but they were not impacted. Kayla’s position is a bit tenuous and depending on how things go she might end up out of a job at some point. Mike’s position seems pretty solid. They both continue to work from home.

In some ways it been nice for the three of us to fully focus on just us. J has spent most of this pandemic at T1’s and E’s farm. Early on we visited a few times, and he came home for two weeks or so at one point. But he’s been “country-fied” and was dying to get back to the farm. He’s probably safer there if he keeps to T1 and E, but it’s L and the neighbors that worry me (aka, “The Nudies”).

With three kids and two adults, which include two young adults who can’t seem to stay away from their girlfriends, I am concerned about safety. J’s compromised immune system would likely struggle with Covid. We’ve put measures in place and it seems like everyone is adhering to them. So far, so good, but that’s of little solace knowing what the stakes are if someone gets careless. It worries me and I check in a lot, especially with Mrs. Nudie to make sure her and her family are acting responsibly.

Oh, and as I posted about previously, since March 1, we also celebrated our five years since adopting Domestic Discipline. Oh – and my blog turned 4 years old! So forget the hellscape that is America as we hurl towards civil war to fight a fascist take-over attempt in November, it’s all about ME and my milestones.

Yeah. I think my lack of enthusiasm for posting has something to do with that. I digress.

DISCIPLINE
Yes, I am still subject to Mike’s authority and discipline. I wouldn’t want it any other way. A spanking here, a spanking there. All in accordance with our Contract, which by default means, by my wishes. There have been a few “just because I need one” requests that I have made. I’ve found a good paddling is a tremendous release and distraction from world events. For me, reminding myself that my fulfillment comes from focusing on Mike and focusing on the things that make me happy (which is a redundant statement), helps reduce the stress and anxiety of living with a fascist leader of the country whose daily decisions kill people and put my own family at risk. Yeah, a spanking can actually make those thoughts melt away. At least for awhile.

I’ve share our Orgasm Control experiment in my last post. I made it through all of June without an orgasm. In fact, it wasn’t until July 2, that I came! Let’s just say fireworks came a little early, and cum they did! Mike then gave me “free reign” over my orgasms for almost two weeks, before restricting them again. Since then, I’ve been allowed here and there. I guess I could be posting more about it because that IS something that still amuses me and I am trying to fully understand my reaction.

I don’t want to repeat my prior post about it. Suffice to say that it still has had a very interesting and surprising impact on me. I think in a good way, but definitely in “a” way. Still sorting through that one. Strange indeed. Who knew?

Well, there you have it. That’s what’s been going on with me lately!

NEXT: 354. A SPANKING STORY

351. Our FREE (Three ) time THANKS TO Covid

vid

I suspect everyone has learned and experienced something new since the arrival of COVID.   Like a lot of you, we have had to spend an extended amount of time together, and for us, that means a lot of “thruple” time, with little to no engaging with others.

Early on in the “lockdown” we were still going to my son’s farm a few times a week.  They are isolated and we felt safe interacting with them, plus I felt it was important to stay connected with J, my youngest,  who is basically living full time on the farm with T and his wife.

As time went on it became clear it wasn’t necessary for J to see us.  Yes, it was a bit of a hit to the mom-ego, but it is mixed emotions of pride in seeing my baby bird fly and sadness that such flight means distance from me.  Plus, the risks of interacting outweighed the benefits.  COVID is additionally concerning to us because of J’s underlying health issues.  Even a run-of-the-mill respiratory issue could send him to the hospital. So, as of about a month ago,we stopped going to the farm.

FOCUS ON US THREE!
And, of course, we haven’t been engaging with our friends or family, including our “Circle of Trust.”   We took (and continue to take) this Covid stuff seriously.   The result is a lot of extended and uninterrupted time for the three of us to focus on, well, . . . on the three of us!

It has been nice to go two months without any kinky-fuckery outside our marriage  (yes, I use the term marriage to include Kayla, legally recognized or not!).    All three of us are in agreement that our sexual activities with our friends, while extremely fun and fulfilling, were becoming a substitute for the three of us spending time together and connecting.   We’ve come to appreciate focusing more on just each other, sexually and non-sexually.

DATE NIGHTS
We still plan to “play” with our COT in the future, but we plan to not lose sight of the need for the three of us to focus on us.   We have long had designated “date nights.”  One night a week where Mike and Kayla go out, one night for me and Mike, and every other week a night for me and Kayla.   But the three of us going out together wasn’t a scheduled thing, and was becoming rare.  We plan to change that.  While there will still be one-on-one date nights, we will make sure there are regular one-on-one-on-one date nights as well!

Date nights have continued throughout COVID, but instead of attending events, dinner, movie, club, or whatever, the dates have been a drive and walk around the park (sometimes more than just a “walk” in the park wink-wink, nudge nudge).

We discovered that we all love these walks (with or without impromptu sexual acts).  It has been rewarding to simply walk hand in hand and do this strange thing called “talking.”   Sure, we’d talk over dinner in the past, but it isn’t the same type of intimate, reflective, and uninterrupted conversations you can have during a stroll in the park.  While we have a lot of meaningful conversations twice a week during Maintenance, the vibe is different.   Maintenance is more of a dutiful and structured thing.  Still extremely important, but not the same as the dialogue we have outside of Maintenance.

US VERSUS THE WORLD
I guess what I am trying to share is that we’ve been able to connect in a different way, a more meaningful way, over the last two months.   It isn’t like we were feeling disconnected pre-Covid.  We simply didn’t know what we were missing.

We feel even more connected, sort of an “us versus the world” mindset.   Not in an adversarial way, but a sense of a purposeful existence.    It’s as if the three of us feel like our purpose for existing is to complete each other, to be a part of each other, to be one “thing” composed of three people.   The rest of the world does nothing to add to this one “thing”  thus it is as if the rest of the world does not exist.  Maybe “us without the world” would be a better term than “versus” the world?   This mindset makes what we have felt all the more special, warm, loving, safe, secure, and meaningful.

The three of us talk about this feeling as we all sense it and connect to it.  HOWEVER — funny thing is, we also agree we can’t wait for it to be over!    We  feel that while it is amazing to feel so extra connected during these times, that ultimately we all need to engage the world around us, including the people in that world.   An indefinite “us without the world” would eventually make us feel isolated, alone, and yearning for interaction outside our pod of three.   We know that because it will soon be three months of that and we are already yearning!

We are still enjoying our “three’ time.   But we also look forward when that focus can be on how the three once again interact with the world around us.  And that interaction includes the mundane of just crowded streets, people we see at stores and the strangers who enrich our days with their antics.  Who would have thought those things held any importance in our lives?

Oh, and of course, we look forward to f**king  the friends within our COT.   Lol!

Okay, time to talk about something more lurid and erotic.  Next post will be something more sex-related, which, let’s be honest, is what you most want to read from me!

350. EQUITY AND FAIRNESS

I have several half-written posts.  Can’t seem to focus and am being overly self-critical over what I choose to write.  It’s as if I am expecting only great prose consistent with my history of keeping it short, writing clearly without repetition, culling my adjectives with literary precision, mixing my rhythms, ditching modifiers, letting the verbs do their magic, and throwing in some unexpected words to shock you into greater understanding.   AS IF!!  

That’s never described my writing style, so why start now?

One topic that’s been rattling around in my mind quite a bit lately is feminism.  And with recent events in the US, I’ve realized my views about it are deeper than I once thought.  I’ve posted about this before and will try not to repeat myself.  If you want to understand how a submissive woman who apparently has surrendered to the patriarchy rationalizes the feeling that she is a feminist, read that prior post.     This post takes a different angle to what feminism means to me.

MORE THAN FEMINIST… A HUMANIST
I consider myself a feminist with a little “f”, not Feminist in regards to what the word represents to most people. To me, feminism is a part of humanism, and I consider myself a Humanist (capital “H” for sure).

Humanism encompasses gender, race, and all other criteria society uses to identify and separate people.  It accepts that such identifiers can be helpful for statisticians or community psychologists to understand and quantify certain things, but it does not accept those labels as assigning values as to the level of goodness or purpose a person has.    

WE ARE ONE, BUT NOT THE SAME
Feminism, as a movement, has the noble goal of equality; however, for too many people the term “equality” gets interpreted as “sameness.” And to me, it is not about equality. It’s about equity and fairness, not equality and sameness. There’s a major difference between those as I covered in this post.

I don’t know any woman that wants to be the same as men, but plenty that what equity and fairness.

We should never strive for sameness. Not because one gender is different from another, or a particular race is different from another, or people with certain sexual preferences or sexual identify are different from those with other preferences or identify a certain way, or that people with or without certain religious beliefs are different, or people from certain parts of the world or regions within a country are different. We shouldn’t strive for sameness because WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS. We are different. I am not the same as everyone who shares my gender, race, sexual preferences, sexual identify, beliefs, or geographic location.

There is a sameness that unites us all. Where we are the same is that we are humans. Humanism is about not defining ourselves and not defining others by categories of gender, race, religion, geography, sexual preferences, you name it. It is about defining ourselves by how we treat others and define them by how they treat us and others. It’s about how we interact with others and how we make others feel and how they make us feel. It’s by the equity and fairness, both in how we treat others and how we expect others to treat us and everyone else. If we must categorize people, categorize them by “healthy or toxic,” nothing more.

I think that has been the secret sauce to my happiness. I have filtered out any toxic people and any toxic thoughts. I surrounded myself with people who are healthy for me and I focus on the things that fulfill me and give me purpose. I have found equity and fairness in my marriage and in my dealings with friends and family.

Advocating for the right of women to achieve equity and fairness is a no brainer. It’s simply being humane. That’s what feminism means to me . And if that equity and fairness comes from leading, working, or doing anything considered “man’s domain,” or comes from submitting, serving, or doing anything considered “traditional” woman’s roles, or anything in-between, that’s fine by me. It’s not for us to define what others should find equitable and fair for their lives — but it is up to society to ensure everyone has access to what is equitable and fair for them.

CURRENT EVENTS
I was going to end the post here, but recent events prompted me to dig a little deeper into my thoughts about this.   As I previously stated, it is more than something I believe about women.  I believe it is a right everyone deserves.  Regardless which label a person fits into regarding their gender, race, religion, region, or sexual desires, the only constraints anyone should have in their pursuit of equity and fairness is that the things they do should not infringe on the equity and fairness of others.   And that is where my ideal hits a wall.

Too many people feel an “affront to their sensibilities” is the same as as loss of equity or fairness. They equate their disdain for someone based on their gender, race, faith (or lack thereof), sexual preferences, or place they are from the same way others might look at someone who endangers their physical well being. Such people may even go so far as to accept an immoral and corrupt leader just so long as that leader allows them to act on their disdain for those they label “others.” They may even go so far as tolerate the murder of man as collateral damage towards protecting their sensibilities, protecting their status quo. 

They feel harmed by someone kneeling in reverence as a solemn reminder of injustice, but not kneeling to subdue, oppress, and kill, because at least the latter is consistent with their sensibilities. 

They feel harmed when someone in need is given help, unless they are the one in need. They feel harmed when others demand fair wages for their work.  They feel harmed when someone makes a choice about their life that is inconsistent with choices they would make for themselves. They feel harmed with other demand equity and fairness.

They have a mindset that THEY are the victim.  The victim of having to live with anyone or anything that is different from them.  

And the irony is, these “victims” are quick to become the victimizer, as forcing their mindset on others is the only thing that gives them purpose.   And the more they victimize the more their victims cry for justice.  And the louder those demands for justice, the more harmed the victimizer feels.   These are the people who should receive the full force of societies disdain.  Not a gender, not a race or religious belief, not a geography or sexual orientation – but a mindset that hurts everyone, physically and economically and the mindset that denies equity and fairness to others.

ASSHOLES
Yes, we will find that people who have that mindset tend to skew towards a certain gender, race, religion, etc., but to define them by those terms is to do to them what they are doing to everyone else. I may poke fun at white, male, reichwinger, closeted-gay Southerners clutching their guns like a two year old’s favorite teddy bear, but like all stereotypes, the semblance to the truth is tenuous. Let’s call those with this mindset by how they treat others and not by their gender, race, or other identifiers. They are cancers, they are inhumane, they are immoral, they are evil, they are unAmerican, and they are assholes. And we need to stop putting them in positions of power because empowering them allows their mindset to spread.

And once these assholes have usurped democratic institutions such as free and fair elections, we are no longer represented by the views of society at large, but by a group of assholes who represent a cancerous minority view.   And in all human history, minority rule can continue only by fraud and force, and such rule has NEVER ended well.    If the voice of the ballot box is voided by the assholes, what voice does the majority have left?   

The scarier proposition is that what’s going on today is nothing like what we are facing come November.    Whether the assholes win or lose, it will be bad.  And win or lose, we can only hope police, Justice Department, military, and the courts will side with the Constitution – but don’t be so sure that they will.  Those institutions have been stacked with assholes. Sadly, even our camo-wearing military leadership.

IT’S NOT ENOUGH
It’s no longer enough to not be a racist, we must be anti-racist.     It’s no longer enough to not be a fascist, we must be anti-facist.  It’s not enough to not be an asshole.  We must be anti-assholes.  

It’s not enough to just blog about this.  I am doing what I can within my power and ability to support organizations that facilitate and demand change.  And more than that, to challenge and call out those that do not.   This isn’t a political blog, so I don’t intend on sharing specifics or which organizations I think fall into each category.   

This post was intended to pound home my ideas about feminism, which are linked to ideas about equity and fairness, which are linked to current events. Through equity and fairness we can bring about a better neighborhood, a better community, a better country, and a better world.

That’s what feminism means to me.  That’s what humanism means to me.

NEXT: 351: Our FREE (three) time thanks to COVID

348. Blogo, Blogi, Blog-blog. A (semi) Self-indulgent Fourth Anniversary Post

348

A FAMILY POST AND NOW THIS? 
At the risk of morphing into a vanilla blog (come on, not a chance!),  it just dawned on me I am approaching the FOURTH anniversary of this blog.   I already ignored a much more important anniversary — my FIFTH anniversary of Domestic Discipline in my marriage was officially March 17, 2020.   The good news for you in that, in so doing, you didn’t have to read a self-indulgent reflective post about my wonderful journey over five amazing years and blah, blah, blah.   Come on Jen, just tell us about your last spanking or some kinky sex!

I did promise at the end of the prior post that I would share a bit of kinky storytime in providing an update on our various relationships that make up our “Circle of Trust.”   Unfortunately, I changed my mind and that should be my NEXT post. 

IT’S A ‘THANK YOU’, REALLY
For this one, you’ll just have to deal with self-indulgent, “Look at me!” regarding my blog.  But it isn’t ALL about me.  I also want to give thanks to top commentors and referrers to my blog.   That’s it!  It’s a Thank You post!  Not self-indulgent at all.    I’ll never understand or fall into the “Look at me! culture that is starved for constant attention and validation.  (Ignore my past post inconveniently titled
326.  Look at me!  Validate me!).  Ahem.

I did an “Anniversary” post before in Post 241. Blogoversary and 134. 1yr Blogiversary, leading to the very important question that divides this world.  Is it “Blogoversary” or “Blogiversary?”   Or the more controversial, Blogaversary?

APRIL 23, 2016
My first post And the next day I made 11 posts IN ONE DAY.   Yeah, where did THAT Jenny go?   I was totally on fire to pour out my story.   Honestly, I saw this blog as “finished” once I posted my contract.  I was like, “And that’s how we adopted Domestic Discipline.  Thank you, and have a nice day!  The End.”  

Unfortunately for you, I continued, thus some of you have fallen down the DD Jenny rabbit hole of kinky debauchery.   If you’re going to go down a hole, that’s a pretty good one to go down.  (That’s what she said!)

So — as of just a few minutes before posting this — I stand at 1.3 million views from 250,000 visitors.   And almost every day over the last week has been a record day in views for me – topping over 3,000 per day.  I can only guess that Covid-fever has led to people hungry for entertainment and titillation.   Too bad they aren’t finding much of either of those things from me.   Maybe a little titillating?   If you’ve come here seeking titillation, don’t forget to do some titillation with whomever you’re with.  As the song goes, “If you can’t titillate the one you love, then titillate the one your with”  Or something like that.

WHERE THE PERVS ARE
As for geography, the top country for all time visitors is the sexually-repressed-closeted kink-capital of the world, the U.S.A. with 912k (Yeehaw  ‘Merica!).  U.K. next at 86, Canada 64k, India at 25k and Germany and Australia 23k.     To readers in those countries, here’s my way of saying hi, phonetically speaking — Ello! Ood day, eh.  Namaste’.  Ha-low, and Good-Eye, Might!

Djibouti has 43 all time.  Not all that noteworthy but I like saying “Djibouti” and thus had to include their stat.   Djibouti.  There, I just had to say it again.   It’s hard to say it without smiling.   I think with all the depressing news lately, the newscasters should end every segment with, “Djibouti!”

Viewer numbers from the Falkland Islands equal almost 5% of their population!   Either I am on my way to being the Submissive/Falkland Islands version of Jerry Lewis/France or there is one islander in serious need of of a spanking.  (I assume the latter).

WHO SENDS THEIR PERVS TO ME?
WordPress shows who your top referrers are, I assume based on clicking on a link from their page/site that sends viewers to my blog.  I have to give special thanks to one that over the last week has sent over 1,000 viewers my way. . .

Strict Julie Spanks!  A long time BlogSpot blogger who is both spanker and spankee and has over 10 million views.  Check her out!

And other notable sources of viewers came from Kinkly (awesome site where, look at me, I was ranked like #360-something out of 500 “top sex bloggers”),  My Bottom Smarts (a cornucopia of content and links to spank related content), and fellow WordPress bloggers  Collared Michael and Sayid’s Girl, and last, but not least, Sub-Missy.

I believe the importance of kink-related blogs isn’t just to tickle some prurient interest but to let those with such interests know that they are not alone.  Such thoughts are normal, and there are healthy ways to explore the immense pleasures that are locked within those interests.   So thank you, not just to those who sent viewers my way, but to all who decide to share sexually-oriented topics in their blogs.

And I want to take the opportunity to send whatever traffic I can one of my favorite places to go and read her take on sexuality, politics, dating, or whatever else strikes her fancy – Go Eat a CarrotPlease check her out.

SHARING THEIR THOUGHTS
Speaking of sharing, I want to give thanks to the brave souls who frequently comment on my posts.   I love the element of interaction that replying to comments provide.  Top stalkers…er, top commenters are Collared Michael, Naughty Nora, and Kdaddy.

WHAT’S THE MOST POPULAR?
Since it was first posted, post 25.  Intense Spanking Part II gets 3x the views than the next most popular page, 133. Intense Punishment.  Maybe the word “intense” has something to do with it?    People don’t just want to read about spanking or punishment unless it was “intense!”  Maybe?    Third most popular goes to, 247. Hey, my husband spanks me!.  Fourth and fifth go to the first and second versions of my contract.     I love that the contract is a popular topic as I believe it is the foundation for success in implementing a Domestic Discipline lifestyle.

THANK YOU
Thank you to all who read this, whether you just accidentally stumbled on it and are now queasy with no plans on returning, or are one of the cool and smart people who read it regularly, or if you are someone in-between.  I started this blog for me, almost like self-therapy.  I didn’t even consider whether it would resonate with anyone.  Nice to know that it has.  I guess I underestimated the kinky vibe that is just below the veneer of so many people all over the world.  Just remember, everyone’s kink is disgusting, except your own. 

Peel off that veneer and live your kink!  

Djibouti!

Post 349. Immersion Wrap Up

347. Update on the Fam

347

MY APOLOGY TO PERVS
I know the last post disappointed the voyeuristic-perv segment of my readers, which accounts for 92.4% of you.  (Totally made up stat, but likely highly accurate).   I am feeling self-conscious about my hedonism given all that’s going on in the world.   But I do want to remind you that self-care is more important than ever!  I am all for anyone finding ways to experience pleasure to balance the stress and suffering of world events.   But sharing the details of over-the-top sexual reveille strikes me as a bit distasteful.  But since when have I been tasteful?

So. . .  Just kidding.  I am not going to go into the details of my recent sexcapades.  In fact, this post will be for the 7.6% of you who are here to more deeply connect with an immensely witty and open-minded sexual adventurer.   Okay, okay.   I admit that statement was a bit of puffery.   It’s more like 0.6% of you. As for the other 7%, I have no idea why you are here.

And as for my wit?  Okay,  it just might be slightly less than “immense?”  No? 

Well, at least I don’t think anyone would argue over “open-minded sexual adventurer?”  Although I just heard someone fake cough the word “slut!”    Was that you?  Now now.

FAMILY FRIENDLY
How do I segue from “slut” to “family friendly?”   Like this.

I mentioned I would post an update on family and friends given my four-month blogging hiatus from Nov to Feb.  What I will do is share a little bit about things I learned about some of my friends as I provide an update about them.   But consider that a tease because this post will be a quick update about family. 

THE KIDDOS
T1 is 31. 
No major update.  He’s been married to E for about a year-and-a-half now. Their farm now consists of some pigs, chickens, peacocks, and five beehives.  Their farm is next door to E’s cousins,
the Nudies.   They both were able to easily transition to work from home and while their respective businesses have seen a decline in activity, their jobs appear secure.

T2 is 24. 
Continues to live in the San Diego area with his girlfriend and I suspect perhaps a Polycule.  They moved into a big house with another couple as a way to share rent and expenses and afford a really nice place.   His job is defense-related and is secure, but too secure as he still has to go into work.  The good news is his employer has taken extreme precautions and T2 says he feels safe.  Most of the time he doesn’t have to interact with anyone and when he does, they can maintain distance.

The four of them had planned to trip to visit us and those plans were postponed due to Corona.  T2 and his girlfriend, G, were going to visit and they had decided to bring their “friends” along since their friends have never been to our city.   I have this sense that there’s more going on with the four of them.  Maybe because it is how my mind works giving my lifestyle choices, but there are things T2 has said that leads me to believe it.  I figure that conversation may be best face-to-face.   We shall see!

J is now 19.
I can’t believe it.  I’ve shared before he has a disability.  He pretty much lives full time with T1 and E on their farm.  He comes home now and then (my house will always be “home”).  What started as a bit of an experiment has turned into his life.  He has become their farmhand and helps out the Nudies as well.  He may have grown up in suburbia, but he’s taken to country living.  He was totally fascinated with the bees and has taken to beekeeping as a passion of his.  The only reason they have so many hives now is because of J.

While he needs people close by, he has shown a tremendous level of independence that we once thought impossible.  Years of hard work and therapies have definitely paid off.   The plan is to build him his own place on the property.  Something that could serve as a guest house in the future, or his house for as long as needed.   Maybe something along the lines of Texas Flip and Move.  We had just started seriously looking into our options and then Corona hit.  So maybe in the fall?!?

J’s absence has given us an empty nest.  His room is still here and intact as he comes home now and then, but it clear, the bird has left the nest!   I must admit I feel a bit lost and a range of emotions from joy and pride, to a sense of loss as well.  Maybe for another post?

My sisters. 
I’ve shared many
posts about their questioning my lifestyle.   They still do from time to time.  Not in a judgey way, but their typical sister-love sort of way.  One of my sisters feigns disgust in my “corrupting” one of her daughters.   My niece was one of many family members who visited T1 and E shortly after they moved to the farm.

This “exposed” many of them to naturism for the first time as almost everyone decided to ditch their clothes while at the farm (any they still do whenever they visit).   My niece became hooked and identifies as a nudist now.  By the way, my sister doesn’t think ill of it at all.  It is completely a joke when she says I corrupted her daughter. 

GET NAKED!
As my niece experienced, naturism is addicting!   Everyone who has been to the farm and donned their birthday suit has only had positive things to say about the experience.   Most left the nudity on the farm, but some admitted to a quasi-nude lifestyle at home.  And my niece is all in, having visited a nearby nude lakeside beach many times with her friends (pre-Corona) and who is naked every chance she gets.

With all the isolation-in-place, you and yours should try going clothes-free around the house.  Saves on laundry!   Days can go by where we never put on a stitch of clothing.  The exceptions are whenever Mike or Kayla have to put something on for a video conference.     They both have been tempted to just dress from the waist up, but both fear that they are so comfortable being naked that they will forget and stand up during the conference.   As funny as that sounds, I don’t think their employers would be amused.   There have been stories like that already floating around as people forget their camera is rolling while having video-conferences.  Best that they do not become one of those stories.

NEXT – Real Subwives of Texas?
Next post will be for you pervs.  I will share some kinky things I learned from
Immersion and give a rundown of what my friends within our Circle of Trust are up to.    I feel a bit like Andy Cohen and Watch What Happens, Live.  Maybe Pornhub would want to get into producing content?   Real Subwives?   Sign me up!

NEXT: 348. Blogo, Blogi, Blog-Blog. A (semi) Self-indulgent Fourth Anniversary Post

341. Dealing with Covid 19. Anxiety, Control, Donating, Talking, . . . and Blanket Forts!

covid

I feel a bit like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned.  Of course, my fiddling involves my clit! LOL.

Seriously though, with all that’s going on it seems rather self-indulgent to talk about my sexploits.  We had our annual Immersion the week of March 8.  The theme of Immersion 2020 was “Swapfest.”  Think of it as the complete opposite of  “social distancing.”  At least our “fluid exchange” was limited to just a small group of friends who all were, and are, reporting that they are completely healthy.   In hindsight, it was dumb of us to have done that, but March 8, was a different world than March 23.

I had a TTWD-related post ready to go,  but before I post that one I felt compelled to throw in my Covid-19 commentary.   So let’s put aside the kink and get serious for a moment and remind ourselves of some things we may easily forget in these times —

ANXIETY
People
who deal with anxiety, depression, cognitive impairments, or mental illness may be more severely impacted by the added stress and worry.
Even if you or a family member doesn’t have any of those issues, anxiety levels are higher for all of us, even the otherwise “normally” functioning people.  (Hey, who just said, “Jen, sorry to tell you, but YOU are NOT “normally functioning!”  I heard that.  Come on, admit it.  It was you!).

CHILDREN
Children process information differently and can be more stressed than adults, which in turn can cause added stress for the parents.   Creating a routine can reduce stress, so find a way to structure their days at home and give them something fun and exciting to look forward to.  A family game night, or movie night (pretty much endless movies available on streaming services).

Your family may be distancing from society, but don’t isolate from each other within a household.  Find things to do collectively.  

Use it as an opportunity to teach kids how to prepare a meal (or if that doesn’t excite them, make a cake or cookies).  There are all sorts of things you can do to try and keep the kids from bouncing off the walls.   Go through old photo albums or your high school yearbook with them.  Walk around the block together, google arts and crafts – it’s amazing what you can do with a toilet paper roll and some glue.  Build an awesome blanket fort with them, google how to make cool paper airplanes…. there’s a lot of fun things you can do to keep kids entertained beyond video games.    And finding things you can do with them will allows you an opportunity to do this thing with them called “talking” which is the very best activity you can do with them right now.   

Even if there aren’t kids at home, it might be fun to do some of these things with a spouse or an older child.  Who doesn’t love a cool blanket fort?  

CERTAINTY AND CONTROL
Everyone deals with uncertainty by trying to add a level of certainty and control to whatever they can
.   For some it may be subtle and positive – organize that closet, garage, or room that is in disarray, or simply re-arrange the furniture in your house.  For others it may not be so subtle or positive – demand those around us behave and act a certain way, become controlling, demanding.   Or it may be more innocuous – buy all the toilet paper you can get your hands on.

Another constructive thing is to sit down and review your finances – make a budget for the first time – look and see where you money has been going.  Look into any insurance you may need, assuming you feel good about your income and ability to pay for it.   We are all living the unexpected, so some people may feel better about owning insurance that deals with other unexpected things in life.

All of these are things some people may do to try and feel a sense of control in the face of uncertainty.   It’s our way of coping and saying, “you may have disrupted a significant part of my life, but I’ll be damned if I have get reduced to using an old t-shirt to wipe my butt.”  That sounds like it is a joke, but it isn’t.  Really.  Buying certain essentials, like toilet paper, has a positive psychological benefit in times of uncertainty.

What have you done to get your mind of things and that gives you some semblance of order and control? Would love to see you share that in the comments.

DONATE
Donating can give us a positive emotional lift!  Social services will be stressed in many areas.   Donate to Meals on Wheels or some other local charity that will be challenged to provide more services.  If you prefer to help animals, most Zoo’s are ran as non-profits relying on attendance to stay afloat.  Close the zoo and their primary source of revenue stops. They need donations.

Even if it is just $10, it feels good and makes you feel like you are doing something more than just organizing a closet or buying toilet paper.  

Realize that most businesses are NOT multi-billion dollar corporations.  They often have enough cash on hand that if they close their doors they might be able to make payroll once, maybe twice if they are lucky.  Then – they are done.  And that small business that supplies services or materials to larger businesses — if the small business is gone, the larger business can’t get what they need.  I am no financial prognosticator, but 4 out of 5 submissive kinky housewife’s agree that we could see 20% unemployment in the U.S.   While the government works out stimulus and bail out options, WE can all choose empathy and compassion.  It’s free, but admittedly can be in short supply.

TALK!
Another free activity!  We don’t always know what the next person or family member is dealing with or how they are dealing with it, so be extra compassionate.    Don’t add the their dread.  Throwing a pity party will only bring both of you down.  Sometimes just asking someone how they are doing can be very therapeutic.    Call friends, call family members, even those you haven’t connected with in a long time.  They may not want to talk, which is fine, but you might be surprised.  If they do talk, then just talk to them.    Just show empathy and compassion and try not to project your own worry and stress on them – because here’s a tip — they’ve got plenty already!

Don’t add to the uncertainty by saying, “I heard this happened,  I heard that is going to happen…”   Be in listen only mode.  Think of it as an  opportunity to be a calm and friendly voice.   These folks may have only talked to other concerned friends and relatives, or is getting all their news from Facecrook, er, Facebook.  You might be the only person they’ve talked to who hasn’t freaked out over the fact that, most certainly, the virus is a precursor to a bigger attack by alien demons who are controlled by the devil who has been set free because of gay marriage.

HELP MAY BE OUT THERE
People often aren’t aware of the social services that may be available in their area, so remind them they shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to local services if they or a family member needs help.   Almost every community has Meals on Wheels type programs for elderly.   There’s typically mental health crisis support and a host of other services, many of which can be accessed just by phone.  A google search is typically all it takes to find out what social services or charity services are available in a given city.   

There may be a wait lists and it’s not an end-all be-all solution, but it’s worth knowing and they can start looking into it if they are concerned about an elderly relatives access to food (or their own access).   Or, they may not have ever used Grub Hub or other food delivery service (if available in your area).   If you have, share with them how easy it was.  It can be expensive to eat that way all the time, but having occasional take-out at home can at least break up some monotony (assuming restaurants are open, and in some areas they are for take-out only).                  

So if you’ve already stocked up on toilet paper, it’s time to clean your closet. . . or build that blanket fort!  

Stay safe, and for now, suspend the kink, unless it is with someone you are isolating with.  (Hum…worldwide baby boom in December?)

Next: 342. Kayla Interview – Part I

334. One million thanks (okay, 1,000,353)

1mil

Uh, what?

I understand that my footprint in the universe of social media is nothing.  A morsel.  A rounding-to-the-hundredth decimal.   Sure, my following is small, but still, I am blown away by surpassing one million views.  Sure, it took three-and-half years, but I am still in awe.

I don’t know how this stacks up and frankly that has been part of the appeal to me with WordPress.  It isn’t about a non-stop ticker publicly counting off every view, like, and follow.   Yes, I can add that so that it appears, but even so, it is fairly hidden.  WordPress is not as “look at me” like other social media (aside from Post 326. Look at me! Validate me!, lol).

I never sought out to blog for follows, views, and likes.  I still don’t.  I must admit it. I blog for me.  See, at the core, sub or not, I am a bit selfish.  Just like how I approached my DD.  It’s about me, baby!   Well, that’s changed a bit regarding my dynamic, but still, my life is very much centered around my needs and desires.   Shouldn’t everyone’s?   I better stop before I get into a rant.

I just want to say “THANK YOU AND STAY KINKY!!”

NEXT: 335. The Bond of Sex

324. My husband reads my emails!

324

Mike was reading my blog, something he occasionally does.  BTW, he has access to all my accounts – email, blog, Facebook, Twitter, you name it.  It’s been that way since the start of our DD.  He doesn’t check them often and probably checks my emails more than anything else.   

It just dawned on me we have never stipulated this in our contract.  Is that a loophole for me to change all my passwords?   My butt thinks not.   

I think I would lose an appeal to the D2C3.   You know, the Domestic Discipline Contractual Compliance Committee.  I thought of consulting the D2C3 presiding judge, the Honorable Judy Back (of course, we know her better by her nickname Honor Back).  I decided against it as I really don’t mind this rule.  I’d rather save submitting a formal D2C3 request for something really big.    

Is there a point, Jen?   

Why yes there is.  Mike teased me that I couldn’t do a short post about a topic if my life depended on it.  He’s probably right, but maybe I could if the stakes were avoiding a red bottom!  So, was this short enough?   

No?  Shorter still?  Okay, I’ll give it another try on my next post. 

Next: 325. 14 Orgasms

 

319. Empty nest?

319

Here’s a break from the kink and some insights into family life which I have shared from time to time.

J graduates from high school in a few weeks.  I’ve shared before that he has some special needs.  We have lived our lives assuming he would have to live with us our entire life, unable to be independent.  His condition has a wide spectrum of issues and some with his condition can be fully independent and some can not.  And while development was not expected to be linear, everything pointed to him needing life long assistance.     A life of all kinds of therapies was producing steady and painfully incremental gains.  Then, Bam! 

About 3-4 years ago those gains began to grow, and grow exponentially.   Physically, cognitively, emotionally.   I credit the three M’s (technically, Mike came up with the three M’s, but I humbling accept them as fact!).   Those are, medicine, maturity, and mom!  Or the way I say, “Mom, maturity, medicine.”  Hell yes, I will take top billing for his progress!   

As for medicine, I don’t just mean prescription meds, I mean the entire medical field, from therapies to prescriptions.  And while maturity was likely to always evolve on its own, he went from a lot of behaviors that were a good 5-6 years behind his age to pretty close to age-appropriate behaviors.   I’d say he is still a couple of years behind, but that difference matters less when you are talking age 16 behaviors at age 18 compared to age 6 behaviors at age 12.

It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that we started leaving him alone at home.  Of course, we always made sure John and Donna (our neighbors, I think you’ve heard of them),  were home, aware, and available in case something came up.

Some of the concern was also physical.  He can lose his balance very easily and has low muscle tone, so the risk of falling was always high.  If he trips over anything, he would always fall and fall awkwardly and hard.  But his strength has improved immensely along with his balance.  He still has issues, but nothing like before.

Our thinking evolved from the idea of him always being at home to perhaps being able to live in the right group setting at some point.  Well, now we are taking that thinking a bit further.

J has been spending a lot of time at T1’s and E’s farm.  He loves caring for the animals and is a big help around the farm.  It has got to the point that right after school on Friday’s we almost always drive J to the farm for the weekend.  For sure every other weekend and sometimes back-to-back weekends.

GULP!  MOVING OUT??
T1 and E came to us with an idea.  They wouldn’t mind adding a few more animals to the farm.  Maybe some goats, or more beehives, or whatever.  But they have to balance their time commitments with their regular full-time jobs.   They were thinking, maybe they get more animals and J comes to live with them to help out.  Initially, in their house, but eventually, we could build him his own place on the property.   There is plenty of room.

The idea has merit, but I am not ready to jump into it.  I worry that he would be an imposition.   T1 and E are adjusting to married life and now this kid with unique needs requires their attention.  That’s a lot to take on.  T1 has always adored J and even though they are eleven years apart,  T1 has always gone out of his way to stay close and connected to him.  And E is amazing with him as she is just an amazing person.  Still, that’s a lot for a couple to take on.  And once they have kids, then what?   Yep. This would only work long term if J continues to develop and becomes more independent.

The vibe on the farm is perfect for J.  T1 and E are easy going, the farm is quiet, and J can be naked all the time I can’t understate how nudism has also helped him.  He has always had tactile issues, especially with clothing.  Even before we adopted nudism, around the house he would often wear an oversized t-shirt and loose underwear, nothing else.  It never dawned on me even that created some anxiety in him.  We saw an immediate decrease in anxiety when we ditched the textile norms around the house. 

For now we decided we can ease towards that direction and see how it goes.   After school is out, we told him he can spend a full month at their place (with frequent visits from me).  Then he can come home and we can talk when his next farm visit will be.  We have not told him of the idea of living there and likely never will.  He doesn’t do well with “maybe” but does very well with, “this is just how it is.”   Very black and white, no gray.

In a perfect scenario, I envision that we can get a mobile home or a small one-bedroom home built on the property for him.  I also envision moving closer to them.  3-hour drive is just a bit too far.  I need to be closer to J.  I am not looking to cut those apron strings just yet, but I am willing to consider a long tether.  Just not too long.

WHAT OF TTWD?
While my focus is on what it means for J and making sure he is set up with the greatest chances for success, it does make the three of us think what it means for us. (me, Mike, Kayla).  We’ve already got a little taste of this.  Part of increased adventures this year has been because J has spent a lot of weekends away.  In the past, it wasn’t uncommon for me or for Kayla to stay behind with J.   All three of us going out together was a treat.

It’s not like it never happened.  Since J was born my parents and sisters made it point to coordinate at least one night a week for J to spend with them.  It was their way of giving me and Mike some respite.  And there were the two weeks during the summer that he would stay with my parents – which led to our ImmersionsHey, when the kids are away, the adults shall play!    But still, having him spend almost every other weekend this year with T1 has been amazing.  No doubt it is part of what allowed us to increase our adult play opportunities without having to leave me or Kayla out to stay with J. 

While our kink is never the priority and has no bearing on our decisions regarding J, I do wonder what it means for TTWD.   No more logistical issues with a spanking such as a sudden and discreet trip to the bedroom.   No more, “Hey, we need to wrap this up, J will be home soon.”  There has been so much play and punishments that have been cut short or modified.  Such is TTWD when there are kids in the house.  

WHAT OF DAY TO DAY LIVING?
And not just the kink, but just life in general.  If any of you have children with any types of unique needs, you know how emotionally and physically draining it can be.  It’s been 18 years of an intense and constant focus.

Not just on J’s immediate needs, but a focus on all the trip-wires, boobytraps, and time bombs that surrounded him.  Those things that would trigger anxiety or injury or obsession that if identified quickly, I could defuse without him noticing or at least quickly redirect.  Mike and I developed a sixth sense about it, like Jason Bourne casing a room and in an instant assessing all the threats and exit strategies.  That’s been my life at least since he was 4.  14 years!

MINI RANT RE RAISING A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD
And just to be clear, we were not that way with T1 or T2.  I believe normally developing children need to deal with age-appropriate adversity.  It’s part of developing the skills you need as an adult.

But when your child is not normally developing, when adversity creates a major set back in their development, in their health (central adrenal insufficiency), in their happiness, in the happiness of everyone around them, that gnaws on them like a parasite, draining them and everyone around them – then what?  You do all you can to keep adversity at bay, allowing it only in the tiniest of doses, in the most controlled setting possible.  This positions the child to successfully overcome it and truly learn from it.   Treat them like a normally developing child and their life will be hell, as will the life of everyone around them.

While J has come a long way, I still have lost all concept of what it is like to suddenly have that sixth sense turned off for more than a breath or two.   The signs are now pointing to a chance that he indeed can thrive fairly independently.  I know I am going to struggle to be an empty-nester.  As long as I know J is thriving, it’s a struggle I can’t wait to take on.  We shall see. 

Post: 320. Domestic Discipline Contract Version 3.1

307. Posting Blues

307

Just a quick note about my decreased posting.

Life is good
Over the past many months I’ve increased my volunteering at an animal rescue and rehab, we’ve sort of re-invented our family evening times, I have an expanded IRL social circle, and I started tutoring an 8th grader.  It has led me to simply deprioritize my internet time.  Not out of any disdain.   Something simply had to give and internet time was it. 

Oh yeah, and I had a niece move in with us for almost a week while she sorted some things out.   That was an interesting experience I can share when I get to it.

So much more to share.  There are TJ and Kim and there are Jaime and Chelsea.  Both couples have interesting stories by themselves, let alone how they entwine with my perverted and twisted world. hee- hee.  

There are interesting updates on the family…well, at least interesting to me.  Maybe that will be a post.  

And we have a new DD contract!  Wow, that certainly should be post-worthy. Not much has changed since our last one, but come on, Jen!  Contract time is usually gold for several posts. . . contemplated changes, the actual changes, reconciling various emotions, reflection, how we are adjusting to those changes.   Damn, that was probably four to six posts I let slip by!    Oh well, I’ll just have to give you the short version someday.  Hey, I heard that.  Who just said, “There’s no such thing as a short version whenever Jen posts.”  Was it you?  I thought so.

And of course, a few interesting punishments here and there, and some new sexy-time intel I can drop on you (we’ve gone to a few “adult” parties).    So yeah, lot’s to share when I can get to it.  

And it’s not all just kink.  We somehow got addicted to the Masked Singer and it became a family ritual to watch it.  It had been a long time since we all got into the same show.  It was a great bonding time and the show was so silly but so fun.  When it ended, we started watching other reality shows, the Voice, American Idol in particular. 

It’s a family ritual now and it’s nice to just sit around the t.v. and experience things together that are light and fluffy.  Sure beats listening to the news and how our country is rotting from the top down while a segment of our society cheers the loss of our democracy and humanity while simultaneously wrapping themselves in the flag while clutching the bible.   Oh, sorry.  I digress.        

The kink is still all there, even cranked it up a bit, and DD life is great!  I hope to post more soon!

Next: Another interesting acquaintance – Chelsea Part I