We are about 95% done with our new contract. A little wordsmith work and we should have it done over the weekend. As I posted my current contract, I will post the new one as well.
So, how about some discipline?
I say that with a smile, but really this incident didn’t leave me laughing (nor Mike). Part of this incident was prompted because I told Mike I could accept more breast punishments (as shared in Post. 166. My Favorite Kinks).
This happened a week ago. This is only the second time something like this has happened in the 2.5 years we’ve been doing this, so I guess that isn’t so bad. I shared the first “spanking fail” on Post 52. The Spanking that Keeps Giving. That was 14 months ago, so again, perhaps we were overdue?
Okay, okay. I know. You’re like, tell us the dang story already!
We have rules about phone chargers. They are always put back in the same place when we are done. In addition, Mike has one next to his bed that we are always supposed to return to his bedside if we need to use it.
Well, I needed to charge my phone and my plug was nowhere to be found. I would have spent more time looking (easily found it later) but I had chores to do, so I used Mike’s. I decided to take his plug with me into the kitchen. This way I could hear my phone ring as I attended to various chores. No problem thus far.
When my phone was adequately charged I picked up the charger and walked to our bedroom to return it. I made a pit stop in our bathroom and put the charger down while I took a “biology” break. As my mind drifted to dinner plans, I forgot about the charger. Even though it was next to the sink I didn’t see it as I washed my hands and then left the bathroom.
When Mike got home, he came out of the bedroom and asked me to follow him back into the room. He pointed to the charger in the bathroom and said, “You forgot to put something back.”
“Yes, Sir, I am sorry. I will put it back now.”
“Hold on,” he said, “first drop your pants and bend over.”
I did so without hesitation and was expecting him to either use his belt or grab a hairbrush. Instead, he took the charger, folded the wire in half, and gave me five swats. They really stung. He has never used an implement this thin and small before. The burn elicited a “Ooh, wow!” from me.
He then asked me why I needed to use his. I told him mine temporarily missing. “So,” he said, “you not only forgot to put mine back, but you didn’t put yours back where it belongs.”
He then told me to take my shirt and bra off. Once off, he told me to clasp my hands behind my head and arch my back. He then gave three strikes with the cord to one breast and three strikes to the other. They all stung but the final strike was the hardest, hitting straight across my nipple. It caused me to drop my arms and I bent over a bit as I cross them in front of my chest. With clenched teeth I said, “Oh, that one hurt!”
It was only a few seconds. In addition to the two thin, but dark red lines where the first two strikes landed, there was already a raised whelp, dead center across the breast and nipple (Okay, to the extent my nipples are in the center of my somewhat saggy boobs…not exactly center, but you get the picture, hee-hee. Oh wait, no laughing. This really hurt).
We had our After Care and Mike apologized for hurting me, which I immediately forgave him for. He said that he would never use wires or cords or anything so thin ever again. I expected the pain to go away pretty quickly, but it didn’t.
My boobs and nipple stung for a few days – if my bra rubbed a certain way, or I brushed against something just so — Ouch! In addition, the “big strike” throbbed for about 24 hours. And that was just the boobs. While it didn’t seem like he hit quite so hard on my butt, it too stung for some time. It was probably a full 24 hours before I could sit comfortably. It’s a week later and today is the first day my nipple isn’t sensitive to the touch.
So a couple of things in reflection:
Why not a hard limit?
Great time to add this as a hard limit since we are re-doing our Contract. I briefly considered it, but decided against it. I trust Mike’s judgement. I know he won’t be perfect, but I don’t feel I need to create a lasting reminder of this incident by codifying it as a hard limit. Accidents happen. We mitigate their chances by having great communication and intentions. We revisited this incident at our last Maintenance Session, three days removed from the incident. It was helpful to talk about it after we had a few days to think about it.
Mike was very apologetic and I know he never intends to hurt me in this way. Over the last 2.5 years he has earned my complete trust and confidence as a Dom. This event did nothing to tarnish that.
Is this what DD is about?
So, is Jenny okay with this type of discipline?
No, of course not. But the result of this discipline is not what Mike intended and it doesn’t represent what DD is about, no more than a fender bender represents what good driving is about.
So, does Jenny think she should be punished for such trivial things?
Yes, absolutely! I agree and accept that a punishment was in order as none of our rules are trivial to me.
So, is Jenny going to start posing questions to herself in all her posts?
No, sorry if that bothers you. Don’t know what got me doing that, it actually bothers me, but oh well, I digress.
I want to go further in addressing any thoughts one may have about this being a seemingly trivial transgression. I’ve had to answer this question before, posed by one of my sisters, so, I’ll just pre-preemptively answer the question now.
I believe if Mike fails to discipline me for an infraction it is like eating a cookie when you are on a diet. Is one cookie going to make any measurable difference in your weight? Absolutely not. If Mike skipped disciplining me for this or any other “trivial” infraction make a measurable difference in my submission? Absolutely not.
But, we all know one cookie can lead to two, to a dozen, to a piece of cake, to other sweets, etc. Regardless of whether or not the infraction is a measurable difference in my submission, it is still an infraction and doesn’t represent the submission I want to give to Mike. And in DD, it is a violation of my duties and obligations that I have promised to Mike. The phone charger issue is as deserving of punishment as any other transgression.
Lastly, and of utmost importance, is the issue of consistency. This is something I’ve written about in Post 158…Golden Rule of DD. A Dom failing to discipline a transgression can be a complete mind-fu*k for a sub. The rare mishap that occurred in this disciplining was not “cruel and unusual” punishment. Lack of consistency by the Dom is cruel and unusual punishment in a D/s relationship.
I thanked Mike for his consistency for punishing my wrong doing, even though the punishment had an unintended result. It did at least serve to heightened our collective awareness to be careful, especially when using new implements.
Oh – and Mike created two new rule. Mike’s charger is never to leave his bedside. If anyone (other than Mike) needs to use it we have to leave our phone charging at his bedside. And, he said no more using cords of any kind.
I refer to our new contract as our DD 3.0. Our first two contracts, which were of short duration, were our 1.0 version. The Oct 2015 was 2.0, and this upcoming one is 3.0.
Our DD 3.0 is ready for take off. Skies are clear, visibility unlimited!