Tag Archives: Domestic Discipline

359. Domestic Discipline will AMP YOU UP

Domestic Discipline will AMP {clap} you up!

Picking up where I left off. . .

When Chelsea arrived she emptied her suitcase and other personal items in our guest bedroom and joined us in the living room as Mike calls us together for this unique “Maintenance Session” as explained in my prior post.

And as if by magic, something unexpected happened. Something that could take months, if not years, or even a lifetime for someone to articulate to someone else. Chelsea said the most amazing and surprising thing.

As I left off in the prior post, Mike stated, “. . . I don’t ask you to be anyone other than yourself.”

Chelsea didn’t say anything right away. It’s like I could sense the wires starting to connect… zzzt, zzzt, zzzzzzt!

With the saddest face humanly possible, she mumbled,
“But. But. But, what if I’m not enough? What if there’s something wrong with me?”

And then she cried.

Mike immediately went to her and held her. He assured her that no matter what, it can only be right.

I recognized Chelsea had a lot she needed to get off her chest. I felt like the setting might be intimating for her. Seemingly ready to reveal her worst fears in life, I felt the fewer people around the better. Overcoming my predisposition to be nosy, I knew my presence wasn’t valuable. While Kayla is her best friend, I sensed even having her around might be a bit much. Chelsea said what she said to Mike, staring straight at him as if we weren’t even there. I asked Mike if Kayla and I could leave the room and he agreed.

I don’t have a bad relationship with Chelsea, but it hasn’t evolved to be one best suited for what it appeared she needed at that moment. I’ve never had a meaningful one-on-one discussion with her. Probably the most I ever talked to her without Mike or Kayla around was during our threesome with TJ. A totally different context!

Mike and Chelsea were left in our living room as Kayla and I retreated to our bedroom. It was about two hours before Mike came in, Chelsea in hand. He said we will watch a movie and just relax together. (We watched The One and Only Ivan. It was okay. Various sub-plots going on and worth a watch on television but I am glad we didn’t spend movie money on it. Sort of what you probably feel about reading my blog! lol). Chelsea sat on the couch between Mike and Kayla, and I was sitting in the recliner. Chelsea was gripping Mike’s hand almost like a scared child. During the movie she ended up with her head on his shoulder, and she fell asleep. It wasn’t that late. Maybe 8:30 or 8:45 p.m.

After about thirty minutes of her sleeping, Mike gently woke her and softly asked her if she would like to go to bed. She nodded and he whispered for her to get ready for bed and he would come to the room in a bit.

He went to the bedroom and didn’t return to the living room for about forty-five minutes. He asked Kayla to talk to Chelsea, so she did. It got later and later and eventually both me and Mike got ready for bed and could still hear the mumbling of Kayla and Chelsea talking.

Kayla eventually emerged and asked Mike if she could sleep with Chelsea. “As in sleep, sleep, no sex,” she clarified. She said Chelsea didn’t want to be alone. Mike agreed and oddly, he added, “And if it leads to sex, so be it. I’ll leave that up to you.”

I didn’t ask Mike to tell me what Chelsea shared. I’ve learned from my relationship with Kayla that it is best to leave it up to her to share with me what she wants. There shouldn’t be this assumption that I “deserve” or demand to know everything they discuss or do with Mike. They are free to explore and develop their relationship with him, free from my hovering around it. In this case, Mike told Chelsea he would share things with me, thus. . .

Mike told me that Chelsea indeed has a lot of “sorting out to do.” I pretty much nailed it in my assessment that she isn’t connected to what she is truly feeling or truly wants. Mike said that’s only half of it.

I don’t intend to turn my blog into the “Chelsea life story blog.” But the run down is this:

CHELSEA’S CHALLENGES
1. She’s uncertain of her sexuality
She thinks she might be gay. Bisexual for sure. Prefers women, not to say that she doesn’t love Jaime. It’s just “different, complicated, and confusing.”

2. Jaime’s fidelity
Jaime cheated on her a lot before they got married, supposedly not since. She never really reconciled it in her mind and continues to blame herself for not being enough for him during that time.

3. She fears not being enough
She loves her husband and wants him to be happy and be the one for him to be happy with. Her guilt and insecurities (my words) made her put tremendous pressure on herself and her hopes that D/s would transform their relationship for the better. She personally likes being submissive and was eager to embrace D/s. Her expectations were very high. She feels she connected with D/s and gets to be more of her true self as a submissive. This makes Jaime’s perceived rejection of it all the more painful to her.

4. She’s loves being submissive
While loving the idea of being submissive, it only has felt right to her when Mike is the one providing direction or delivering consequences. She admitted to acting up (aka “bratting”) with Jaime so that Jaime would have to take action. Instead, Jaime would often turn to Mike in frustration.

She likes submitting to Jaime, but, in her words, “he’s bad at being a Dom.” And despite all the issues, she is convinced she loves Jaime but not convinced he loves her.

5. Swinging/swap conflict
She hasn’t fully reconciled the whole swinging/swap stuff within our COT. Part of her feels it’s Jaime’s way of demonstrating she isn’t enough for him. But at the same time, she said they both found it exciting and they connected in new ways. They both were open with each other about what they did, what they felt, what they liked, what they didn’t. She cherished those conversations and it made her feel good that he enjoyed it and enjoyed her enjoying it. But she isn’t 100% convinced. Again, lots of insecurities.

6. She’s in love with Kayla
Yeah, there’s that. She admitted it.

WHAT DOES JAIME KNOW?
Mike asked her how much of this she discussed with Jaime. Virtually none!

She thinks sharing her thoughts about her sexuality would be unfair because she hasn’t figured it out herself. “What if I am wrong and he freaks out over nothing? What if he thinks it means I don’t love him or that he is inadequate in some way? What if he leaves?”

She wants a life with him, as his wife, kids, all that. My thoughts are that she’s not gay, bisexual for sure, and will hopefully come to terms with it at her own pace regarding what it means for her and her marriage.

She’s mortified to address their D/s and our COT. “What if I am right and he never wanted it or liked any of it. I feel so embarrassed for liking it myself.” My two cents is that he enjoys her submission and the COT. I think he is just as insecure as she is. That insecurity comes off as indifference. There’s just too much left unsaid between them and their individual insecurities are filling in the gaps.

She said they did have conversations about the swinging, but she never revealed her motivations behind it – motivations based on pleasing him. And while they mutually shared the genuine excitement and energy it brought to their relationship, she never told him that it also includes feelings of not being enough or being discarded. Despite her liking so many things about it, at its root it represented her failings as a wife. Those horrible feelings were conflicted with the thrill it also brought to both of them and their relationship. And her love of the eperiences with other women was conflicted with her concerns about her sexual identity.

All of this was from her eight hours with us! Things sure move fast in my kink-vortex! I’ve got a theory about why that is, but I’ll save that for some other post.

MY NEW NARRATIVE
The next day we followed through with our plans and Chelsea shadowed me much of the day, and then shadowed Kayla the next, she even saw Kayla get spanked. And I’ve now had the opportunity to talk to Chelsea one-on-one for quite awhile and I’ve adjusted my narrative about her.

She knows who she is, she’s just afraid to show it, both to herself, and to others. A fear based in her childhood that she carried forward to her marriage. Her ability to articulate what she wants is hiding behind the thinnest veneer. Once punctured, she has been very articulate, clear, and more importantly, confident.

She wants to be married to Jaime. She wants to let him lead and needs to work with him on defining what that means on his terms, not hers. She wants an open marriage, especially wants to explore her sexuality more. She understands that may be hard on Jaime as he may fear her leaving him for a woman. They’ll just have to work that out and it is no different than her fears he could leave her for another woman. “Who knows,” she said, “maybe we find a win-win and get ourselves a third!”

She likes D/s and loves the idea of submitting, to Jaime, to Mike, or to a woman. She feels the most comfortable in a submissive role, including being disciplined. She said she always felt fine being spanked as a child. Not that she enjoyed it, but that it didn’t make her feel defective and she doesn’t feel scarred by it. To her it was effective and she believes it is “appropriate for a husband to spank his wife. ”

When she said that, I was ready to denounce that concept. I don’t buy into it as being “appropriate” in the way she was using that word. She was using it as meaning “natural order of things.” Ug. That’s not my belief. I’ve ranted about that before so will spare you another rant. Suffice to say, I bit my tongue and accepted that if it was right for her, then so be it. (120. Is this submissive a feminist, and 350. Equity and Fairness)

WHAT NOW?
For now she is waiting to have her deep dive conversation with Jaime. She wants to continue talking with us, flexing her ability to articulate her feelings and better understand what it is she is feeling. And by us, I do mean us. She’s opened up to me and I think likes the attention from all three of us, especially Mike. She Facetimes every day with Jaime, and Jaime even noted her upbeat demeanor. It seems she is feeling good about the direction she is headed.

BTW, Chelsea didn’t have sex with Kayla that first night. They just cuddled and went to sleep. There’s some things that have to be sorted out there because Chelsea loves Kayla. Kayla loves her to but not in that same way, so it’s unfair to pursue the sexual activities if the feelings are unbalanced. And there is the whole thing of what role Mike plays in Chelsea’s life and her dynamic within her marriage. But all of those things flow from Chelsea first needing to establish a stronger sense of self. Once that is done, everything else should be much easier to sort out.

I’ve always stated that when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, or go down a path of exploring kinks (which is related to vulnerability), the experience serves as an AMPLIFIER for what your relationship already has. If there are fears, insecurities, and confusion, they will be amplified ten-fold. If there is trust, acceptance, and confidence, that too will be amplified ten-fold.

And Domestic Discipline amplifies all of them even more.

356. THOSE WHO I HAVE INVITED INTO MY LIFE

It’s been awhile since I reflected on my submission. My submission has been on auto-pilot for at least a year, if not longer. Effortless. Routine. A reflex that is a part of me and my every day life. I believe that has contributed to my posting malaise.

At first, I wasn’t going to bother to blog about what I shared in Post 354. So much so that I had made a post (Post 353) that occurred after that first incident and I made no mention of the punishment. I was that bla​sé about it. It wasn’t until the second incident chronicled in my prior post that I felt like sharing any of it.

I was at a point where I was overly self-conscious about my DD. I stated this before. It was like I needed to isolate it and protect it by not sharing something that I know some people find abhorrent. Funny thing is I didn’t feel that way about any other aspect of my lifestyle. The free-wheeling sex and stuff, no problem! But my husband spanking my hiney… well, that’s just too much!

Then I published #353. I felt a rush. A sensation I hadn’t felt from blogging in a long time. And I realized it really excites me to share those stories. I immediately recognized that feeling as a feeling I get anytime I feel exposed. AND I LOVE THAT FEELING.

It very much relates to my exhibitionist thrill. I’ve shared this thrill in several posts, but simply, I love the uncomfortable feeling of putting something out there for people to see and judge. It goes back to… well, come on now, if you are a long time reader you know what I am going to say. No ramble from Jen is complete without it. . . It goes back to vulnerability!

I love feeling vulnerable. Of the many posts on that topic, I like my first one the best. Short and to the point, unlike most of my posts). Sharing what I view as the most-generally-understood-to–be-socially- unacceptable aspects of my life is very vulnerable inducing! Thus as soon as I hit “Publish” I got this hit of dopamine or whatever “feel good” endorphins the body creates. Me like!

And it has lit a flame in my belly that I haven’t felt in some time regarding blogging. I don’t know how long it will last, but it’s time to open the kimono more frequently and share what’s going on in my life. Even if no one reads it, just putting it out there feels exhilarating again.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SPANKING?
I don’t have any issues with how I was disciplined. I felt it was 100% deserved and appropriate. I anticipated worse, physically speaking. Emotionally? Well, maybe I got more than I expected, but I still believe Mike was spot on.

It is easy to question whether the discipline is effective. After all, it recurred in a matter of weeks and there have been multiple recurrences in the past. Since when is discipline ever a one-time cure-all? It isn’t, even in DD.

Having consequences for my actions, consequences that my husband has to deliver, is at the core of my submission and at the core of what has made me be the wife, mother, lover, friend, daughter, sister, and person I want to be. And while I hate to make such a bold prediction, I am highly confident that this particular issue will not recur. It’s in the vault!

IS SPANKING OVERRATED?
One area of reflection regarding this last incident is whether spanking is as effective as it once was, or if the non-spanking discipline is more effective? Difficult for me to judge. I think it varies which is why varying or mixing the type of discipline I receive works best for me. However, I leave that up to Mike as that is his responsibility. We still have regularly weekly Maintenance to stay calibrated, but it is ultimately his role to determine what is best – and over five years of doing this I don’t take exception to ANYTHING he has ever prescribed.

MY JOURNEY
Another area to reflect on is simply my journey. I love having this blog to go back to and I re-read my first dozen or so posts every so often. They still ring as true for me today as they did then. And for those newer readers of my blog who seemed a bit surprised that I am subject to the kind of discipline I shared in the last two posts — I encourage you to read those posts as well. I think they answer a lot of questions as to “Why?” My shortcuts can quickly get you to Post #1

FINAL THOUGHTS
This gets a bit esoteric, but I am keenly aware that full awareness is never possible (or maybe it is, but you’ll never be aware of it, thus the psychological conundrum regarding “awareness”) .

Point is, my perceptions about my own life and about my DD may never fully reflect “reality.” Sensations, thoughts, memories, images, desires, and emotions are constantly changing and superseding each other. Therefore, in times of self reflection I try to not just think through how it is I interpret my life and actions. It’s important for me also do a different type of self reflection. . . seeing myself through others.

It is through seeing myself through others that I believe I get a more accurate assessment of my life. By the way, others do not include faceless online trolls or even friendly blog followers. Those are all curious “outside” references, but should never define us. No, “others” are simply the people I have invited into my life. Mike and Kayla of course, but also my kids, extended family that I frequently interact with, our Circle of Trust, and friends. This even includes some online friendships.

I like that phrase…”those who I have invited into my life.” Much better than “family and friends.” It is the best way to think about the people you surround yourself with. It reminds you that YOU invite them into your life. Just as you may push others away (hopefully the toxic ones), you invite these people to stay (hopefully the health ones). THEY often can define you better than you can define yourself.

Based on their perspectives, I am as happy, healthy, confident, secure, and fulfilled as I perceive myself to be! It feels to me that there is nothing in existence that can EVER mount a meaningful challenge to that perception.

Until. . .

P.S. Hey English police, is it “those who I have invited into my life” or “those whom I have invited into my life?” I think I got it right re “who” versus “whom” but I could be wrong. Feel free to school me!

355. A MATTER OF (SPANKING) BUSINESS

For the first time in a while I feel like I have a lot to “unpack.” That normally means an exhaustive boring esoteric ramble from yours truly. But I’ll save that for another post, as I’ve got business to attend to! As in spanking business, and cousin, business is a-boomin’.

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN Two posts ago (353. On this date, March 153, 2020), I referred to some people in our life by their actual names.  Specifically members of the Nudies. (Post 233, among others).

It dawned on me within minutes of posting it and I immediately edited it. I was compelled to self-report it to Mike. I have never felt so defeated in something I have self-reported. I had just finished coming off restriction from the prior incident, and now this! And to be honest, there was a moment I thought it best to not report it. I have never knowingly failed to self-report a transgression to Mike. Not only does it make me feel guilty and eat at me, but my submissive mind likes the idea of telling on myself. Damn that submissive mind-set!

Seriously though, I knew I had to tell him, so I did.

When I told him, he said something that still rings in my head. He said, “I can’t spank my trust into you.” He lectured me for some time, but those words kept repeating over and over in my head. They hurt as much as a spanking.

He went on to say that disciplining me further felt empty to him. He felt only time would help. My thought was “No!” That’s what has been so great over the last 5 years living this dynamic. Ill feelings never linger. They are addressed, forgiven, and put behind us. “Give me my punishment. Give me absolution! Let me know ‘All is forgiven.’ I beg you.”

I didn’t actually say those words, but that summed up my feelings.

In his lecture he acknowledged he was happy that I reported this to him, and gave me some credit in that I only used first names. “Excuses are easy.,” he added, “We have rules for a reason and clearly the rules on privacy are not top of mind with you. What were you thinking?”

He doesn’t often ask me what I was thinking. Usually there is no need.

“Your honor, in my defense, not to make excuses, but, it had been so long since I mentioned them in my blog. I had grown too accustomed to using their names with a few email friends, that it was muscle memory and not intentional.”

Okay, I didn’t quite say it that way, but I did say something about muscle memory. I was in tears at this point as I kept replaying the “I can’t spank my trust into you,” over and over in my head. I also knew that a repeated transgression of ANY kind, was bad enough, let along this particular issue.

Thoughts of what he had in store for me were also top of mind. Not from a physical pain stand point. I never “fear” discipline in that way. My fear was one of wondering how long Mike would feel disappointed in me. It was two weeks last time before we got to “All is forgiven.” I hate the cloud of any transgression hanging over me and over us for such long periods. THAT is what I feared.

My response evoked a lecture on why exceptions are never good and a slippery slope. His lecture was far more animated than most. His strongly raised voiced contrasted with his typical lecture style of stern, but controlled. His reaction was telling me this was not just me failing to behave as I wish, but clearly failing to behave as he demands.

MY PUNISHMENT BEGINS
When he completed the lecture, I was sent to our room to wait with instructions to put on a ball gag. After entering the bedroom and affixing the gag, I took the appropriate stance in the corner and awaiting his arrival.

I was crying a lot and once the drooling from gag kicked it, it only added to my feeling of defeat. I don’t know how long it was until Mike came into the room, but it seemed like forever.

When he arrived I was no longer sobbing. He began lecturing me some more in even a greater raised voice than before. He would occasionally smack my butt with his hands. At some point he had me turn and kneel in front of him, head up, eyes fixed on his as he continued to speak. He slapped me, once on each cheek.

As some context, slapping is something I asked to incorporate in punishments some time ago… maybe a year or two ago? He rarely does it. I don’t know what it is about the face. Spank or slap my ass, thighs, breasts, palms, soles of feet, are one thing. But the face, it’s a whole other experience. It wasn’t real hard, but harder than he has ever done before. And was started crying again.

He again asked me what I had to say for myself. Something he rarely asks once, let along twice. But this question was not about what was I thinking when I did what I did, but about expressing my remorse. Which I did so, between the sobs.

CANING/PADDLING
He walked me next to our bed and had me bend over with my forearms resting on the bed. He picked out a spanking implement and told me that what he was giving me now would be repeated every hour until that same time the next day. It was now some time after 4:00 p.m.

We refer to this type of discipline as “TOH,” or Top of the Hour spankings. The anticipation of knowing what is to come adds to the overall emotional impact of the spankings.

After the first strike I knew which implement he selected. The cane. He struck me six or seven times with it. After just the first one or two I was squirming and crying harder with each one.

He then told me to fetch a paddle. Being paddled on top of a caning is very painful and ensured that it would sting for some time. And knowing this was going to be repeated every hour was ever present in my mind.

“Ten and I need to hear you count them off,” he said.

The first five stung but were of moderate force. He then told me the last five would be intended to “stay with you for awhile.” They were much, much harder.

I was a mess, inside and out. Slobbering all over from the gag, runny nose, watery eyes, and now, a striped and red ass. Inside I continued to feel defeated, defeated by my own behaviors that got me there, not by Mike’s actions.

ENEMA
After the spanking he ordered me to the corner. He went to our supplies and I could hear the water running in the bathroom. He returned with the enema kit. He filled me with warm, soapy water, set my phone alarm for 15 minutes, and told me I could expel it in the toilet once it went off. I could not leave the corner no matter what, and if I couldn’t hold it, then I would just have to release right there and clean up afterwards. He then gave me a couple of swats on my very hot and sensitive ass and he left the room.

GINGER
I made it through the allotted time and just as I was returning to the corner, Mike returned. He was holding a freshly carved ginger root. He proceeded to insert it and again set my phone for 15 minutes. He sat on the bed and watched me the entire time. When I would squirm or begin hopping up and down from the stinging that was now inside my ass, he would tell me to stand still else the spanking would start over.

AND MORE
When time was up, he pulled the ginger out and spanked me with his hand as I stood in the corner. It was a lot of hand spankings, way too many to count. Not super hard, but they covered every part of my already tender backside. He then inserted a butt plug. The lube helped a bit with burning that was still going on from the ginger, but not much. A butt plug by itself isn’t a punishment, but in the right context, like this one, it adds to the humility.

He told me to get on the bed and lay down on my stomach. He placed the paddle on my bottom and left the room. “I’ll be back at the top of the hour.”

LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT
More like, spank/rinse/repeat… It was already close to the top of the hour and it seemed like only a few minutes and he was back. He had me resume the previous position, bent over the bed, and he spanked me with the paddle, having me count off all 10. At least there was no caning, but every single whack stung like hell. I was crying again.

After the spanking he gave me another enema and 15 minutes of corner time. When that was over and I expelled the enema, he again plugged me and said we would reconvene at the top of the hour. He held me for some time, and I held on to him. He gave me some encouraging words, and after a few minutes, that was that. We resumed normal activities of the evening .

At the top of each hour I would remind him I would be waiting in the bedroom. Each time I was spanked 10 times with the paddle and then spent 15 minutes in the corner – but no enema! Silver lining?! Sometimes he would lecture me, sometimes a word was never uttered. Very mechanical, like clock work. Every waking hour, on the hour.

SEPARATION/ISOLATION
I had to sleep in the guest bedroom and would be spanked just before going to bed. And my bedtime was early, 9:45 p.m. and lights out! The extra sleep is a blessing, but the isolation is a curse.

Also, I was back on orgasm restriction and total abstinence from sex to boot. At first it was not that big of deal because I wasn’t in a very sexual mindset. But eventually my normally high sex drive started to kick in and it was yet one more layer to this punishment. It impacts me both physically and emotionally, especially when seeing or hearing Mike and Kayla having sex. But I got through it, no touching!

The next day the TOH spankings and corner time continued until 4 p.m. On the last one, he again administered an enema, like he did the first two spankings. After wards, we talked. As in a conversation. No lecture, no tears.

I expressed my commitment to be overly vigilant about what I post or share with online friends. I was all set for “All is forgiven” but Mike said he was not ready for that. He said the only punishment from that point on would be restriction from my online activities. No phone, no email, nothing. He said he needed time and when he truly felt “over it” then, and only then, could we fully move on.

He again repeated that he can’t spank his trust into me. My disciplining up to that point wasn’t about him or that trust. It was about me and my transgression, no different than any other spanking or discipline I’ve earned. But for him to lift the restriction, it would have to be about him and his willingness to trust me.

As as evidenced by this post, he did get to that point. I hope I don’t ever violate that trust again. Blabber-mouth Jen is now my sworn enemy!!

But. . . that just applies to personally identifiable information. Unfortunately for you, it doesn’t apply to my endless babbling and meaningless drivel about my reflections on all of this. I will eagerly submit you to those ramblings on my next post! Complete with an epiphany of sorts that has actually refueled my desire to blog.

NEXT: 356. THOSE WHO I HAVE INVITED INTO MY LIFE

354. a spanking STORY ?!

NO BUT STUFF
Hello there. I will save you all the, “but stuff.” As in, “Sorry I haven’t posted in such a long time, but. . .” So let’s get right into it.

CONFESSION
I must confess that when I wrote my last post I omitted something – an “extended” punishment I received that ran from June 30 to July 14. I didn’t plan on sharing this, but given that it ended up having a Part II, and more importantly, a need for a classic Jen-needs-to-reflect-and-write-about-her-reflections, I decided I must come clean and share.

Hey, it was time I threw you pervs a bone anyway. I am sure you are tired of reading mundane boring stuff about blabbity-blab-blab. We all know Angela certainly was (see the comments on my last post). To her credit, It’s been a long time since I shared details on some salacious discipline. So I am going to give you the first of back-to-back posts on some disciplining I received. Maybe Angela will return to reading my blog? LOL!

THE TRANSGRESSION
I made a stupid and careless mistake in responding to an email I received from a follower of this blog. I’ve shared before that I have strict rules from Mike as to what I can and can not share. In part because Mike is uber-concerned about online privacy and second, he has a wife who is a chronic over sharer!

It’s a miracle Mike allowed me to blog in the first place, but clearly, not only did he do so, but over time he has become more comfortable with our lifestyle such that his concerns about our privacy has diminished – slightly! “Plausible deniability,” as Mike calls it. Most of the names of our COT are the correct first names, but some have been altered. And I stick to initials when it comes to kids names, even those that are legally adults. Mike has allowed a few exceptions for a few select people I communicate with via email. The problem with exception, as I’ve learned, is that I have to stay aware of who I am communicating with. Is this someone I am approved to share such-and-such with?

I’ve made mistakes before. I am pretty sure somewhere in the bowels of my blog there is a post about being disciplined over a “data breach.” It’s been a very long time, but, it happened again. I included some personal information in an email to the wrong person. I had been emailing them for a while and in my mind they were on my “approved” list to share what it was I happened to share. One thing I learned is that I truly need to keep a written “approved list” else this may happen again.

It was an honest mistake, so much that I didn’t even realize I did it until Mike read my email. Thus he was disappointed on many levels. This is a topic he is very sensitive to and that we have discussed many times and for which I’ve been disciplined for violating in the past. Additionally, he had to find it. He doesn’t check my email and online activity often, as he prefers not to spend time doing so. Thus he feels like his trust in me was misplaced. Yeah, all around not a good thing.

INITIAL SPANKING
It was varied and lengthy. It started with a hard spanking by hand.  Each individual hand spanking doesn’t pack the wallop of say a paddle, but they have their own unique cumulative effect.  And each stroke can have a more pinpoint accuracy, such that when done, every inch of my backside is red, and red it was. I would guess 200 or so spankings, maybe more? He then gave me a very long corner time of almost an hour. 

MOUTH SOAPING
At the end of corner time he took me into the bathroom and gave me a mouth soaping in front of the mirror. Soap in mouth, he had me lean over on the sink as he spanked me with a hairbrush. He kept reminding me to keep my head up and look in the mirror as he spanked me. It’s always more humbling for me when I have to look at myself while being spanked, and my butt was already very sensitive from the extreme hand spanking. And yes, the rinsing of the mouth include more than just water.  

PLUGGED / LINE WRITING
He then put an anal plug in me and had me sit and write 50 lines of  “It is Jennifer’s expressed and unqualified intent to be accountable to Michael for any and all of her behaviors.”   That’s a line from our contract.   He then had me write the definition of “reverence” 15 times, as shown here.   I had to do this every day for almost two weeks! I’ve never written so much by hand in my life!

And as part of my line-writing discipline, I was spanked via paddle for any mistakes or sloppy lines in my writing. Now, an anal plug by itself is not so much a punishment, but considering I had to sit with it in for as long as it takes to perfectly write the lines. It is a best distracting, at worst, uncomfortable after thirty minutes or so. Add in my very sore and sensitive bottom from all the spanking, and concerns that every writing mistake meant more spankings. I probably ended up with about 60 or 70 more with his belt.

Unlike most punishments that end with an “All is forgiven,” and that is that, this one was going to be what we refer to as an “extended punishment.” It would go on for as long as Mike determined. I wouldn’t be repeatedly spanked. That part of basically over. But I was still under various restrictions until he decided to lift them.

NO-O
I was just coming to the end of Ju-NO and looking forward to being allowed to orgasm on July 2.. Mike told me in June that I could look forward to “free reign” over my orgasms for some period of time once they were to resume on July 2. Well, as luck would have it, this transgression threw a wrench in that bliss!

Initially, Mike did not alter the O-plan and he indeed allowed me to orgasm on July 2. Despite my transgression, he initially said I would keep my “free reign” for the time being. Well, after two days he decided otherwise (which was four orgasms – it would have been more, but the punishment didn’t have me fully in the mood). I was back on “no-O.” While I had to edge many times a day at his command, he added in another level of discipline as punishment for my transgression. He never touched me or had sex with me, nor did Kayla – AND – I had to sleep in the spare room.  A banishment of sorts. Isolation is torture!  I would cry myself to sleep at night — and my bedtime was early meaning Mike and Kayla would stay up without me. 

AND THERE WAS MORE
He put me on a two week restriction from the internet, including my phone.  He kept my phone and if someone called, such as my sister, he would often let it go to voicemail and then let me call her back when he was off work and he would stand next to me.  At the end of each call he would spank me again saying my behavior caused him to have to babysit me and I needed to be spanked for causing him that inconvenience. 

AND THE HARDEST PART
The hardest part was being on a “talking restriction” in that I could not speak unless spoken to by him or by Kayla.  If I did, I would be spanked.  And it happened a lot to the point that Mike decided I needed to keep something in my mouth.  There were many hours in the day where I either a ball gag or pacifier in my mouth, or even tape over my mouth. (We have a lot of pacifiers re Kayla’s ddlg). He even had me keep my thumb in my mouth at times.  

Finally, it was over.  And all was forgiven.  This punishment took a lot out of me – but it also put a lot into me.  What it took out was temporary, and what it put in was, hopefully, permanent.  I was more resolved and focused on following all my rules, especially my email/online rules. A commitment that I upheld for a total of about two weeks, and then… oops! Damn it.

And THAT will be for my next post.

NEXT: 355. A Matter of (Spanking) Business

353. On this date, March 153, 2020

So yes, I am alive. I really want to blog, but while it is mostly because I am lacking inspiration, I’ve come to understand that I am also lacking confidence. I’ve discovered that all bloggers, or anyone who creates a presence online, whether YouTube, Twitter, or whatever, need to have a level of confidence to continue that presence. A confidence that what they say matters, even if only to themselves.

For years my motivation for blogging was driven by knowing what I had to write mattered to me. I needed to get my thoughts out, think through experiences in more detail, and reconcile my new found lifestyle with who I once was. I’ve done that. Simply, I am at peace with my lifestyle. It’s really more than that. I am ecstatic with my life, but I am no longer intrigued by my inner workings and desires, nor amused by certain things. I don’t want to make it sound like I am bored – I am not. It’s just that my daily life seems routine to me.

For instance. My day today? This entire week was “deep clean” week. I moved all the furniture in each room, cleaned the floors, wiped all the baseboards, and even did paint touch ups of the nicks and scratches. I wasn’t even spanked once!

Yes, I am just a typical suburban submissive wife in a plural/poly open/swinging marriage that dabbles in BDSM and shuns wearing clothes unless absolutely necessary. What’s interesting about that?

And this terrible new editor in WordPress makes posting a chore!

I reviewed my FIVE half-written posts and figured I could at least put together something of interest. My mind just can’t seem to concentrate long enough to complete a full post. I go back and look at my drafts and find them uninspiring, unflattering, or disconnected ramblings. Hey, who said that? Was that you? I definitely heard someone say, “Well, Jen, that about sums up all your posts!”

Sigh.

CIRCLE OF TRUST HIATUS
Here’s an update on our swinging within our Circle of Trust. Swingset has been closed, thanks to Covid. We haven’t been together with our friends since our blow-out Swing-fest just prior to Covid. That was almost three months ago, but it feels like three years.

CALENDAR “MARCHES” ON
I heard someone say that today isn’t July 31. It is March 153. That’s about right. Well, since March 1, all three of my kids had birthdays. They are now 31, 24, and 20. It shocks me that J is 20! Wow!

Mike and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary! Albeit with a moonlight walk around the park and nearby lake, and maybe a little “funny business” in the woods. (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

Mike just celebrated his 52 birthday, and my 51st is coming up. I don’t feel like I am in my 50’s. I still feel like, maybe 38? Whatever that means. Although, my lady-part problems are screaming, “Hey bitch, you are 51 and then some.” Yeah, I’ve had a return of my prior issues and a hysterectomy is in my future. I am fine with that, it’s just a bad time to schedule it re Covid and all. I am putting it off, maybe early next year if the discomfort doesn’t get too great.

Both Mike and Kayla’s jobs are secure for now, despite Covid. Both their companies had furloughs but they were not impacted. Kayla’s position is a bit tenuous and depending on how things go she might end up out of a job at some point. Mike’s position seems pretty solid. They both continue to work from home.

In some ways it been nice for the three of us to fully focus on just us. J has spent most of this pandemic at T1’s and E’s farm. Early on we visited a few times, and he came home for two weeks or so at one point. But he’s been “country-fied” and was dying to get back to the farm. He’s probably safer there if he keeps to T1 and E, but it’s L and the neighbors that worry me (aka, “The Nudies”).

With three kids and two adults, which include two young adults who can’t seem to stay away from their girlfriends, I am concerned about safety. J’s compromised immune system would likely struggle with Covid. We’ve put measures in place and it seems like everyone is adhering to them. So far, so good, but that’s of little solace knowing what the stakes are if someone gets careless. It worries me and I check in a lot, especially with Mrs. Nudie to make sure her and her family are acting responsibly.

Oh, and as I posted about previously, since March 1, we also celebrated our five years since adopting Domestic Discipline. Oh – and my blog turned 4 years old! So forget the hellscape that is America as we hurl towards civil war to fight a fascist take-over attempt in November, it’s all about ME and my milestones.

Yeah. I think my lack of enthusiasm for posting has something to do with that. I digress.

DISCIPLINE
Yes, I am still subject to Mike’s authority and discipline. I wouldn’t want it any other way. A spanking here, a spanking there. All in accordance with our Contract, which by default means, by my wishes. There have been a few “just because I need one” requests that I have made. I’ve found a good paddling is a tremendous release and distraction from world events. For me, reminding myself that my fulfillment comes from focusing on Mike and focusing on the things that make me happy (which is a redundant statement), helps reduce the stress and anxiety of living with a fascist leader of the country whose daily decisions kill people and put my own family at risk. Yeah, a spanking can actually make those thoughts melt away. At least for awhile.

I’ve share our Orgasm Control experiment in my last post. I made it through all of June without an orgasm. In fact, it wasn’t until July 2, that I came! Let’s just say fireworks came a little early, and cum they did! Mike then gave me “free reign” over my orgasms for almost two weeks, before restricting them again. Since then, I’ve been allowed here and there. I guess I could be posting more about it because that IS something that still amuses me and I am trying to fully understand my reaction.

I don’t want to repeat my prior post about it. Suffice to say that it still has had a very interesting and surprising impact on me. I think in a good way, but definitely in “a” way. Still sorting through that one. Strange indeed. Who knew?

Well, there you have it. That’s what’s been going on with me lately!

NEXT: 354. A SPANKING STORY

348. Blogo, Blogi, Blog-blog. A (semi) Self-indulgent Fourth Anniversary Post

348

A FAMILY POST AND NOW THIS? 
At the risk of morphing into a vanilla blog (come on, not a chance!),  it just dawned on me I am approaching the FOURTH anniversary of this blog.   I already ignored a much more important anniversary — my FIFTH anniversary of Domestic Discipline in my marriage was officially March 17, 2020.   The good news for you in that, in so doing, you didn’t have to read a self-indulgent reflective post about my wonderful journey over five amazing years and blah, blah, blah.   Come on Jen, just tell us about your last spanking or some kinky sex!

I did promise at the end of the prior post that I would share a bit of kinky storytime in providing an update on our various relationships that make up our “Circle of Trust.”   Unfortunately, I changed my mind and that should be my NEXT post. 

IT’S A ‘THANK YOU’, REALLY
For this one, you’ll just have to deal with self-indulgent, “Look at me!” regarding my blog.  But it isn’t ALL about me.  I also want to give thanks to top commentors and referrers to my blog.   That’s it!  It’s a Thank You post!  Not self-indulgent at all.    I’ll never understand or fall into the “Look at me! culture that is starved for constant attention and validation.  (Ignore my past post inconveniently titled
326.  Look at me!  Validate me!).  Ahem.

I did an “Anniversary” post before in Post 241. Blogoversary and 134. 1yr Blogiversary, leading to the very important question that divides this world.  Is it “Blogoversary” or “Blogiversary?”   Or the more controversial, Blogaversary?

APRIL 23, 2016
My first post And the next day I made 11 posts IN ONE DAY.   Yeah, where did THAT Jenny go?   I was totally on fire to pour out my story.   Honestly, I saw this blog as “finished” once I posted my contract.  I was like, “And that’s how we adopted Domestic Discipline.  Thank you, and have a nice day!  The End.”  

Unfortunately for you, I continued, thus some of you have fallen down the DD Jenny rabbit hole of kinky debauchery.   If you’re going to go down a hole, that’s a pretty good one to go down.  (That’s what she said!)

So — as of just a few minutes before posting this — I stand at 1.3 million views from 250,000 visitors.   And almost every day over the last week has been a record day in views for me – topping over 3,000 per day.  I can only guess that Covid-fever has led to people hungry for entertainment and titillation.   Too bad they aren’t finding much of either of those things from me.   Maybe a little titillating?   If you’ve come here seeking titillation, don’t forget to do some titillation with whomever you’re with.  As the song goes, “If you can’t titillate the one you love, then titillate the one your with”  Or something like that.

WHERE THE PERVS ARE
As for geography, the top country for all time visitors is the sexually-repressed-closeted kink-capital of the world, the U.S.A. with 912k (Yeehaw  ‘Merica!).  U.K. next at 86, Canada 64k, India at 25k and Germany and Australia 23k.     To readers in those countries, here’s my way of saying hi, phonetically speaking — Ello! Ood day, eh.  Namaste’.  Ha-low, and Good-Eye, Might!

Djibouti has 43 all time.  Not all that noteworthy but I like saying “Djibouti” and thus had to include their stat.   Djibouti.  There, I just had to say it again.   It’s hard to say it without smiling.   I think with all the depressing news lately, the newscasters should end every segment with, “Djibouti!”

Viewer numbers from the Falkland Islands equal almost 5% of their population!   Either I am on my way to being the Submissive/Falkland Islands version of Jerry Lewis/France or there is one islander in serious need of of a spanking.  (I assume the latter).

WHO SENDS THEIR PERVS TO ME?
WordPress shows who your top referrers are, I assume based on clicking on a link from their page/site that sends viewers to my blog.  I have to give special thanks to one that over the last week has sent over 1,000 viewers my way. . .

Strict Julie Spanks!  A long time BlogSpot blogger who is both spanker and spankee and has over 10 million views.  Check her out!

And other notable sources of viewers came from Kinkly (awesome site where, look at me, I was ranked like #360-something out of 500 “top sex bloggers”),  My Bottom Smarts (a cornucopia of content and links to spank related content), and fellow WordPress bloggers  Collared Michael and Sayid’s Girl, and last, but not least, Sub-Missy.

I believe the importance of kink-related blogs isn’t just to tickle some prurient interest but to let those with such interests know that they are not alone.  Such thoughts are normal, and there are healthy ways to explore the immense pleasures that are locked within those interests.   So thank you, not just to those who sent viewers my way, but to all who decide to share sexually-oriented topics in their blogs.

And I want to take the opportunity to send whatever traffic I can one of my favorite places to go and read her take on sexuality, politics, dating, or whatever else strikes her fancy – Go Eat a CarrotPlease check her out.

SHARING THEIR THOUGHTS
Speaking of sharing, I want to give thanks to the brave souls who frequently comment on my posts.   I love the element of interaction that replying to comments provide.  Top stalkers…er, top commenters are Collared Michael, Naughty Nora, and Kdaddy.

WHAT’S THE MOST POPULAR?
Since it was first posted, post 25.  Intense Spanking Part II gets 3x the views than the next most popular page, 133. Intense Punishment.  Maybe the word “intense” has something to do with it?    People don’t just want to read about spanking or punishment unless it was “intense!”  Maybe?    Third most popular goes to, 247. Hey, my husband spanks me!.  Fourth and fifth go to the first and second versions of my contract.     I love that the contract is a popular topic as I believe it is the foundation for success in implementing a Domestic Discipline lifestyle.

THANK YOU
Thank you to all who read this, whether you just accidentally stumbled on it and are now queasy with no plans on returning, or are one of the cool and smart people who read it regularly, or if you are someone in-between.  I started this blog for me, almost like self-therapy.  I didn’t even consider whether it would resonate with anyone.  Nice to know that it has.  I guess I underestimated the kinky vibe that is just below the veneer of so many people all over the world.  Just remember, everyone’s kink is disgusting, except your own. 

Peel off that veneer and live your kink!  

Djibouti!

Post 349. Immersion Wrap Up

337. Outsourcing Domestic Discipline

338

 

In the last five months

  • I turned 50!
  • Kayla turned 25
  • We celebrated a two year anniversary of sorts with Kayla.  It’s been two years since we had a public celebration and recognition of her place in our plural marriage.
  • I started working part-time
  • What’s the latest with our various friends in our Circle of Trust? (COT)?
  • Lots of sex

Hum?  Which would most readers want me to elaborate on?

How about, “None of the above?”    Actually, this is a bit of catching up with one couple in our COT, Jaime and Chelsea.  I wrote this post months ago that I thought I posted, but it was still in my drafts.  So I am going to resurrect it and post it now.  Thus, I still have plenty of fodder for my next post regarding goings-on during my blogging hiatus.

—————————–

With a bit of an empty nest, I thought I’d have more time to blog, not less.  Volunteering, picking up extra household duties (Kayla now works full time), a bit of being lazy and using my free time to watch tv instead of blog, and yes, even BOWLING!  The three of us joined a bowling league!   I bet you didn’t know I was a jock!  To the extent that a bowler can claim that moniker, ha!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Before diving into my latest update on my life of whimsy and wonder, I thought I’d share two things I am enjoying online.

  • EAT YOUR VEGGIES
    https://goeatacarrot.com/.    Check her out.   Read about her theories and experiences with dating, sex, love, and relationships (not necessarily in that order)!  A blend of humor, politics, and sexuality!    Love her!
  • HEY SISTER, SOUL SISTER
    https://sisters-in-submission.mn.co/A women’s only online community connecting women who want to dig deeper into what submission means for them.  The site is well organized and the community is great and supportive of everyone, from those considering submission to those who are full-on slaves, and many in-between.A lot of the post are at the more extreme end of “women are holes” so, be prepared!   But, there are more moderate and mild submissives on there.  From my experience, everyone is supportive of other’s views, but if misogyny is not your thing, skip it.  If it sounds interesting and you are female, check it out.

End of Public Service Announcement!

OUTSOURCING DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE
I thought I’d expand on something I brought up in a previous post regarding Mike’s relationship with Jaime and Chelsea.

As a quick recap regarding Jaime and Chelsea (if you want the details, read Post 308):

  • So that you don’t live your life thinking it is Jay-me, it is pronounced Hi-me.  Spanish for James.   This is important because to this day I think of Hermoine Granger as “Her-Moyn” and notHer-mi-o-ney.”   I digress
  • Kayla met Chelsea in college about two years ago. Kayla was a grad student, Chelsea an undergrad.  They are basically the same age though.  This is new for Kayla as for her entire life her closest friends were also much older than her.
  • Jaime & Chelsea have been married six years.  They got married as soon as Chelsea got out of high school.  She was 18, Jaime was 22.
  • Chelsea grew up in a family that practiced corporal punishment/domestic discipline.  Spanking was a family tradition and something she was eager to leave.
  • After several years of marriage, Chelsea began craving more leadership and discipline from Jaime, including domestic discipline.   Jaime resisted.
  • After befriending Kayla, Chelsea’s need for submission reached a tipping point where she had to get Jaime on board.  It didn’t take too much effort this time and Jaime agreed to a DD dynamic — with some help from us, namely Mike. 
  • Mike has become the de facto DD coach for Jaime.   Mike administered many of the initial punishments and basically oversaw many more to help Jaime find his way as a Head of Household.  
  • Jaime looks up to Mike and is amazed at how Chelsea’s behavior, mood, and personality has changed for the better and how much happier she is.  He credits Mike with those changes. 
  • Chelsea has a crush on Mike and, as revealed in a prior post, has performed oral sex on Mike, with Jaime’s blessing.   

Sounds like a happy ending (lol!).   All parties do appear to be happy, but things have evolved differently than any of us has anticipated.   Jaime recently told Mike that he not only appreciates all the help Mike gives, but he really “gets off” on watching Mike spank her.  What has evolved is that Jaime has basically “outsourced” his DD to Mike.  Mike is Chelsea’s disciplinarian.   There is a weekly meeting, typically at their place, but sometimes at ours, that serve as Chelsea’s Maintenance Session.  

This odd arrangement has been working.  All three parties seem to find it fulfilling.  I don’t question it as I feel no need to do so.  I feel I have no standing to complain if it works for them and doesn’t interfere in my household dynamic.  Mike has asked me my opinion and I honestly give it.  I find it odd, but I can accept odd.  Heck, just look at my lifestyle.  What I do is odd, thus an “oddity” factor certainly can’t be my criteria to complain.   And honestly, I only had one concern. 

The only thing that bothers me is when we have to change our schedule to accommodate them.  They are our friends and I thoroughly enjoy the thought of Mike helping them as he does.  It really tingles me in the right places to think of him as this DD-Jedi of sorts.  But, changing our plans to accommodate them?  Sorry, I don’t like it.  I am happy to accommodate a friend when something unexpected occurs – but this is a weekly thing.   I shared my concern and Mike said he would strive to “work them in” on our schedule, not theirs.  And thus far it’s worked out!  See, I told you I have a voice in my marriage!  I get to provide feedback whenever my husband wants to spank someone else’s wife!  Who could ask for more?  lol. 

Oh, and there was one other concern I had at first.  It didn’t seem to me that Mike was really into it as if he looked at it as a chore.  He never said so, but I didn’t sense much enthusiasm.   We talked about it, and Mike said he purposely tried to “play it cool” when talking about it with me or with Kayla.   He said, “Honestly, I enjoy this role.  It is challenging to be the right kind of disciplinarian to you and to Kayla.  I feel I have mastered that challenge and it’s exciting to have someone new to figure out.”

It helped me to know he enjoys it, as I get a lot of joy from his enjoyment of anything (or anyone!).   Mike also said, before I had a chance to, that at some point his feelings may change, as may Jaime’s or Chelsea’s.  Like any change, we try and stay ahead of it through open and honest dialogue.  From what Mike says and from what I have witnessed, Jaime is a little slow on expressing himself, so it concerns me that something may fester and then show itself in a negative way.  The great thing about our relationship with them is that I am able to share this concern directly with Jaime.  I believe he fully understands the need to speak up.  And although he tends to be a bit quiet, I have to give him credit.  It couldn’t have been easy to ask Mike to become the de-facto disciplinarian in his marriage.    

Kayla is more uncomfortable with it.  I think because Chelsea is her friend and her age, it’s easier to trigger the jealousy instincts.  Kayla acknowledges it and while a bit rough at first, it has evolved to where she looks at is as sharing something (someone) she has that is really cool and that she highly cherishes.   It’s an act of her “giving,” not of someone else “taking.”  And like me, it becomes a source of pride in that, “Yeah, that’s my husband providing you something you and your husband really need and enjoy.”

Maybe there’s a way Mike can monetize his Dom skills.  Does Angie’s List include a listing for Disciplinarians? 

NEXT: 338.  Jen, just shut up already!

309. Spanked Wife, Happy Life – Chelsea Part II

309

Continued from the prior post.

To help you with a mental picture of Chelsea, although she is 23, she can easily pass for 18 and with just a little effort, maybe even 16.   Her height is about all that helps her appear a bit older as she is about 5′ 9″ and while I didn’t ask, I would guess maybe 115 – a very small frame.  And the ringer for a more youthful look is her light freckles on her nose and high cheekbones that accentuate her already looking baby-face.  

Her husband is on the burly side, maybe 220 on about a six-foot frame but not all fat.  He’s muscular in a toned way, not super-buff.  Stout!  That’s it.  He’s very stout.  He looks even bigger when next to Chelsea.  We’ve met him on several occasions as well.   He’s more reserved and timid, whereas Chelsea is unfiltered and unedited.  

Chelsea said after about two years of marriage she began having desires to be disciplined by Jaime.  She started to miss the accountability and the motivation that the disciplining instilled in her, and yes, even a closeness she felt it could bring to her and Jaime.   

While generally not someone to keep anything in, it took her a long time to say anything because she felt that she was betraying herself in a way.  How could she want that?   She didn’t want to be like her mom.  How could she submit to be under the authority of her husband?   That just isn’t right.

It nagged at her even to the point she acted out in negative ways.  Passive-aggressiveness is one way we attempt to cope with unresolved emotions, and she became full-on passive-aggressive.  After many arguments about stupid things that she often started, she knew she had to come clean and confess her “ugly desire” to her husband. 

When she did, he 100% rejected the notion.  And not just the idea of it, but the idea that she would even consider it.  It made her feel terrible as in her mind it confirmed her fears that something must be wrong with her.   But his rejection didn’t make those feelings go away. 

So she pressed him from time to time, slowly increasing the frequency of broaching the topic.  Finally, one day she really pushed his buttons and he spanked her.  He was apologetic afterward and swore to never do it again, much to her chagrin.   More time went on, another year and her passive-aggressiveness deepened.  And then, Chelsea met Kayla.  Then Chelsea met me and Mike. 

Chelsea was like a sponge, wanting to learn everything about our journey into D/s.  She said it opened her up to a greater understanding of what it could mean to be submissive.  Until she met us, she just thought if she were to accept discipline from Jaime, it had to be just like her parents.  In her mind, her mom was weak, cornered, and incapable of understanding this just wasn’t normal.   Now, Chelsea knew DD  could be anything they agreed it could be.  Like me, she could have DD, Chelsea-style.   If Jaime would agree. 

Armed with a better understanding of her own emotions and how to better articulate them, she once again brought up the topic with Jaime.   This time he didn’t reject her outright and at least said he was open to understanding it better, which led to our meeting Jaime. 

It also led Chelsea to talk to her mom about DD, something she had never done in a true, open dialogue.  Chelsea had brought it up before, but always in a judgemental way.  Now, their conversations were more inquisitive and less inquisition.  In turn, Chelsea learned a lot about her mom and her dad.  While she still didn’t agree with everything they did and do, she had a greater appreciation for it.  

Armed with new confidence and a more open-minded husband, they made an attempt at instituting some DD into their marriage.  While Jaime was open-minded, he was still very reluctant, to the point that he asked Mike to help.  This led to Mike actually spanking Chelsea in front of Jaime to give him a more step-by-step break down of things he should consider in a spanking, including the after-care.   It got to the point that Jaime even called Mike to come over to administer several spankings as Jaime felt he just wasn’t doing it right.   

Jaime was very concerned with hurting her, both emotionally and physically.  It took some time for Jaime to feel confident that the “right” way was whatever way he felt comfortable with and that Chelsea accepted.  I didn’t keep count, but I think Mike probably spanked her on seven or eight occasions. 

Jaime still calls or texts occasionally to get advice on discipline.  I have to admit I am a bit jealous as I like to be the advice-giver, but in this case, Mike is their de-facto “mentor.”   They have even asked him over just to talk DD (and they have been over to our house as well).   

Jaime feels like he has a new wife, the wife he first fell in love with.  Her passive-aggressive behaviors are gone, and they are closer than ever before.   As they say, Spanked Wife, Happy Life.   Um, er, okay, that’s not how it goes, but it sure does for some people!

ISLAND OF MISFIT KINKSTERS
I feel a bit like our household is becoming the
Island of Misfit Toys, except it is the Island of Misfit Kinksters.   Those people who feel they are doing it all wrong, or are having trouble reconciling their desires with societal expectations or simply looking for ways to express those desires in a safe and nurturing environment.   There is my friend Valerie, and some of my other “lunch bunch” friends who have opened up a bit and shared some of the kinks they are into.  This also applies to Matt.  Oh, and John and Donna too.  And yes, of course, Kayla.

It’s like I wrote in 239. As you sow, so shall you reap, it’s karma. 

And then, we met TJ and Kim. 

Next: 310. TJ and Kim

 

 

300. Don da da don! 300th post – and it’s Intense!

300

Wow.  I never imagined I would do 300 posts.  I thought my need to share was complete at post 13  Hey, who just muttered, “Yeah, it should have been.”  I heard that.  Be nice!

Yes, this is one of those self-congratulatory “look at me” sort of posts.  Uh, that sort of describes a lot of my posts.  Okay, this is an especially self-congratulatory post.

THE FIRST 100
It was back in December 2016 that I posted 
#100In it, I stated, “I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires, and actions.”  Yep.

I boasted of 45,000 views and about 8,800 visitors since starting the blog in April of that year.   My how things have grown. 

THE SECOND 100
Was completed about a year later, in December 2017 when I posted 
#200 where,  in a rant, I used balloons as an example to explain to my sister why my DD doesn’t buy into the mindset of a misogynistic culture that does little to discourage sexual misconduct by men.  Yeah, I did that.  Balloons.  The connection should be obvious, but if it isn’t, read the post.

Oh, and in the second 100, in between posts about some surprising thought, desire or action, I wrote of how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires and actions.

THE THIRD 100
I did better than balloons!  I wrote of “managing the cans” and even mathematically calculated a Domestic Discipline Readiness Score.  And if that’s not evidence of an insightful yet evolving blog, then surely this is — even more posts about the same topic, vulnerability!

Oh.  And yeah,  more posts on how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires and actions.

TODAY
I am still writing about how I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires, and actions.  Well, this time I really mean it.  At least, until something happens that surprises me.

And analogies?  I am great with analogies.  Sometimes my analogies are so good that they are as good as like, as like, . . . whatever.  So yeah, as long as my sisters keep questioning my DD, I will continue to create whatever analogies I can to make my point.

And apparently, it resonates with some of you.  I had 481,000 views from 88,000 visitors in 2018, about double from the year before.  And since the beginning, I have had over 750,000 views.  I could reach a million by mid-year.  Yeah, that’s good for a hit of dopamine or two.  Thank you for that.

MOST POPULAR PAGES IN 2018
Same as last year and by a wide margin.  Post 25. Intense Spanking Part II with 33,807 views.   And the odd thing, the prior post, Part I, only had 2,497.  The difference is Part I talks of my feelings and Part II explains the actual punishment.  Clearly, those who read Part II saw no need to read Part I.  And all this time I thought you were mostly here for my heartfelt journey of rebirth and renewal.  Well, I never!!  

The second most popular was at 9,832 views – a huge gap between #1 and #2.   It must be one where I share my mind-stimulating, life-altering philosophy for endless fulfillment.  Well, no it mustn’t.  Another spanking post re Post 133. Intense Punishment.  Hum.  Is the word “intense” somehow a magnet for views?  I wouldn’t dream of simply adding it to a title just to see if it attracts views. 

And #3 was the first Domestic Discipline Contract I posted, 12. Our DD Contract with 5,613 views.   Yeah! I am proud of my contract!  Hopefully, it serves as fodder for others.  No, not to burn in effigy, but as inspiration for codifying their own dynamic. 

COUNTRIES
U.S. was tops in 2018 by far with 351,801, followed by the UK at 28,776 and Canada at 19,006.  Top countries where English isn’t the primary language was Germany at 9,354, India at 8,006 and Sweden at 4,396.   Way to go Swedes!  Is it perhaps because they love our age gap with Kayla?  This report says they do.  Scandinavians are so cool with their kink, and basically about life in general.  I love the Scandinavian mindset about a lot of things in life.  I often thought if I had to live in some other country, it would likely be one of the Scandinavian or Nordic countries.  I digress.     

SPECIAL THANKS – REFERRERS
The top referrer to my blog was once again Bottomsmarts, a Blogspot blog that is all things spanking.  

Next up on the referrer list is a blog that no longer exists.  It was Ournaturistblog.  They reblogged one of my posts when we were just becoming nudists.  I hope I didn’t so offend their readers that they had to shut down their blog!  hee-hee.  Of course not.  If that were the case, they would just delete their reblog.   It’s too bad they left, as they had some great nudist-culture content.  

Third up is Sayyidsgirl.  Interesting story and someone I chatted with at the beginnings of her journey.  Started out seeking a submissive role, and ended up more as a Domme, or as she puts it, “a switch who dominates.”  

SPECIAL THANKS – COMMENTORS
Naughty Nora topped the comment list and had 1,533 click-throughs to her page.  See, it’s good to make comments!  Check out her great musings on DD in her marriage and kink in general.

Next up was Sweet Girls Journal, another forty-something mother who found bliss in D/s.    And third was so close that I had to include both of them.  Collared Michael and Kdaddy

What’s cool about them is that it illustrates a broader community within TTWD.   Both have very different dynamics than me.  Check out Michael and learn about his journey in a FLM, including caged male chastity.  And check out Kdaddy – a bisexual, polyamorous guy providing meaningful insights into his own unique lifestyle.  

SPECIAL THANKS – THE EMAILERS
I won’t name you by name, but you know who you are.  I appreciate those who take the time to email me and share their story, or ask a question, or hound me mercilessly.  Just kidding.  No one does that.  Everyone is so kind and I enjoy every email. 

Thank you, and may the next 100 be as interesting to you as it is cathartic to me.  May they make you laugh in delight rather than puke in disgust!  Goals!

285. Curfew and Spanking the Jelly?

285

The party went very well and was a lot of fun.  I’ll post more about it but had already started writing this one and wanted to finish it up and get it posted. 

I’ve been having a few “WAID” thoughts lately regarding my Domestic Discipline.  Those thoughts of “What Am I Doing?”  I haven’t had those thoughts in quite a while.  I think the last time I posted about it was the last time I had these thoughts, and that was 18 months ago (Post 133. Intense Punishment).   

And just as I stated in Post 133, I believe occasional doubt is healthy.   I’ll simply restate much of what I wrote in that intro  —  Doubt is simply a lack of knowledge.   Often this is momentary, and the knowledge you need can often be found in a short, honest,  conversation with yourself.  Sometimes it may take a bit more than a moment of reflection, but typically not much more, at least for me. 

Any doubts I have ever had about Domestic Discipline have always ended up as being self-affirming.   Those doubts always lead me to a deeper appreciate for what submission has done for me and for my family.  WAID doesn’t last long, and once again, it didn’t last very long this time.  It was a little longer, maybe a day or two, but only because I have been so busy that I didn’t have the self-reflection time to really think things through. 

And like last time, it was some punishments that likely got me in the mood to reassess things.   I’ll share the two 

EMAIL PAST CURFEW
Typically I am to be in bed by 10:15, and have thirty minutes to write in my journal.  I am not to get on my phone or laptop.  I often fit in my “internet” time during the day, or maybe, if Mike allows it, in the evening after dinner and evening chores are done.  Occasionally when we have a long day and I ask, he lets me get on the computer late a night before going to sleep.   Point is, yeah, I’ve got rules around sleep hygiene and computer/phone time.

Well, one night I was done journaling, turned off my lamp, and double checked that I had my alarm set on my phone and turned off my lamp.  This is something I do all the time, but for some reason, I had this urge to look at my email.  Just a quick look. 

Well, I saw an email from someone and it begged for a response.  I mean, they didn’t beg for response – they would have been fine hearing from me the next day.  It was me!  I just had this urge to response.  I could have got up and asked Mike for permission, but that seemed like a lot of effort, he might say no, and I was tired.  I further justified it because it would be a very short response.  So I responded.

I knew I earned myself a spanking, and decided I would tell Mike in the morning and I went to sleep.  In the morning, I told Mike.

I was spanked – very hard.  The cane marks lasted for almost a week. Mike increased the punishment because I knew it was against the rules and had time to consider the consequences and still choose to check my email.

Of all my rules, this is one that is easy to dismiss as silly or childish.  I’ll grant you it seems silly or childish that an adult needs such rules, but, I need it.  It took making a commitment to myself and to Mike to get me to adhere to good sleep hygiene.  Pre-DD I often stayed up very late, long after Mike went to bed.  Watching tv, going online, or even cleaning.   Having home schooled J and being with him all day, then commiserating with Mike a bit after J went to sleep, it was finally my time to decompress. 

Getting good sleep is so underrated.  Pre-DD I was clearly sleep deprived for years, and it has a cumulative effect on health – mental and physical.   Getting good sleep is one of the best rules I have, and it is simple – despite the occasional temptations to violate the rule.

SPANKING THE JELLY
I found
this video.  In fact, there are several videos of people spanking jelly?  People can be so weird!   I am talking about something normal. . .about being spanked over a jar of jelly,

I went to make Mike some toast with jelly, a normal part of his breakfast, and there was only a small amount of jelly left, not enough for a serving.   There isn’t a specific rule about keeping the house supplied with certain foods or condiments, but it is understood as an expectation of Mike’s.  I am required to be “optimized” in my household duties and running out of something that Mike like is clearly not optimal. 

I was spanked.   A combination of a good hand spanking and his belt.   It wasn’t particularly hard, but came while my butt was still smarting from the caning from the curfew spanking. 

REFLECTION
I believe there were a couple of things that prompted my WAID thoughts. 

One was the “minor” nature of these spankings.   I can’t think of the right word.  “Minor” is relative.  All violations of my Duties and Obligations are big deals, and all are important to adhere to.  I don’t have any trivial rules as far as I am concerned.  Having said that, there are some rules that are simple to adhere to, and thus, could be called “minor” rules.  These are both “no-brainer” rules  that are easy to adhere to, and I failed to do so.

Two, is that I had been reflecting on the last year.  Our one-year anniversary of our latest contract was on October 17.  This year went by so fast!  And since we only made it for 18 months, I can’t believe that in six months we will be talking about possible revisions.  So my mind already started thinking about what I might want to change.  Thus, I was already in a mindset of asking myself what I really wanted going forward.  I think this predisposed me to switch that mindset to “What am I doing?” at the first opportunity. 

These spankings provided that opportunity. 

And once again, that reflection led me to the conclusion that what I am doing is exactly what I need to be doing.  It is the right thing for me and for my family.   And as for possible changes in March, at this point, I can only think of one.  I might want to codify something in our “sex clause” regarding future cuck activities.  Keep in mind I always have the right to say no.  The purpose of codifying things is to better set expectations between me and Mike.   Other than that, I can’t think of anything else I’d consider changing.  Not even the consequences of getting spanked over curfew rules or jelly!  

I love my Domestic Discipline.  I love being submissive to Mike.  I love all aspects of our life and all the relationships we have. 

NEXT: 286. We are not okay, but we will be