291. The Holidays – New Year’s Eve

This is the third and final post catching you up on my holidays.  And it is just in time as it is actually New Year’s Eve!

I’ve shared with you a bit about my Thanksgiving and Christmas following the death of my father.  Now, it’s on to New Year’s!!

NEW YEAR’S EVE
T2 and G had to get back to California, and we decided to spend New Year’s Eve at T2’s and E’s place, much to J’s delight.

J really loves their emerging farm.  There is still a lot of work to do at their new place, but it is slowly coming together.  They got a pet pig!  As in, yes, a pet.  It’s amazing.  They are as smart, maybe smarter, than most dogs.  It roams the house just like a dog would.  J loves it.   And of course, J gets to see his girlfriend, L.

OH YEAH, J’s GIRLFRIEND
They still sort of dating, to whatever extent that word has meaning for young ‘uns these days.  I mean, apparently L had a sort of boyfriend at school, but just someone she would go to movies with and hold hands.  They apparently did kiss as well, so yeah, I’d call that dating, but, they don’t.  It’s odd to hear 11-13-year-olds talking about “not being exclusive” but that’s how they talk about it.  Like, “Yeah, I like him okay, and we have fun together, but it’s not like there is any obligation to be boyfriend and girlfriend.”   All of that contrasted with the fact that L does call J her boyfriend.  Wow, a little poly girl in the making.  Just kidding! 

Really, it is fascinating.   Of course, they shun any labels.  To them, it isn’t being poly or being anything.  It is simply “being.”  They don’t see it as a big deal, or any sized deal.  It simply isn’t a deal.  It just is.  Maybe we can learn something from that?

And J is fine with that.  He isn’t the least bit jealous and was quite logical about it.  “She lives far away and has a social life at school.  Of course, she will meet boys she likes to hang out with.  That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like hanging out with me when we get the chance.  At the point she doesn’t want to hang with me, she won’t hang with me, no different than me with her.”   I was startled to hear him say that.  Or in their vernacular, “I am shook.”   Not in a negative way, just in a surprising way, a pleasantly surprised way. 

BACK TO NEW YEAR’S EVE FESTIVITIES
New Year’s Eve will be at J’s and E’s, along with E’s cousin, her husband, their three kids (aka, The Nudies), and J.  Apparently the three cousin’s kids have invited some friends over as well.  Not sure how many.  And yeah, given the extended guest list we had to ask about attire.  We were told it is the same as always.  At both J’s and E’s as well as at her cousin’s, it is always “clothing optional.”  So we trust that whatever other friends they will have there are duly advised.

It’s been rainy here, so no fireworks ban where J & E live.  They apparently stocked up along with E’s cousin to put on quite the private fireworks show.   Plus all the smaller stuff that goes with it.  Hum, maybe sparklers and nudity aren’t such a good idea?   Plus, it’s supposed to be cold outside.   

Flying sparks and near freezing temps aren’t a place for our kibbles and bits.  I guess we will find out who the die-hard nudists are in the family!

Happy 2019!

Next: 292.  Kayla’s Triad Thursday Declaration

290. The Holidays – Christmas

This is my attempt to catch up on some things I would have posted about during my respite.  Minus the spankings, blow jobs, sex with friends, and that kind of stuff.   Just mostly G-rated going on’s in an otherwise X-rated lifestyle.  (Actually, I think NC-17 is more appropriate than X, but, whatever).

I wrote about my Thanksgiving on my prior post.  Now, on to Christmas!  Before I get into that, I realize with so many posts so close together, it may be easy to miss something very important to me.  My dad passed away.  If you missed that post, you can read it here. 

CHRISTMAS
Traditionally we would get together Christmas Eve at Mike’s parents and Christmas Day at mine.  With Mike’s parents passing last year, and with my dad’s passing, it’s clear new traditions are in order.  (His mom passed away almost exactly one year before my dad).

Mike’s siblings still make it a point to get together on holidays.  This year, one of his nieces actually played host.  She’s got a nice house that could accommodate everyone and we had a nice dinner and present exchange with Mike’s side of the family.

Our own house was full much of the time.  T1 and E stayed several days with us so as not to have to drive back and forth (they live about 2.5 hours away).  And T2 and his girlfriend, G, came in from California and also stayed with us.  It was great having a full house.  And yes, much of the time we were all nude.  We have fully embraced a nudist lifestyle and it is our default.   

Christmas morning was the eight of us… me, Mike, Kayla, T1 & E, T2 & G, and J.   Late afternoon we all went over to my mom’s and joined up with my siblings and their kids. 

It has been several years since so many of us were together.  My brother doesn’t always come down for Christmas, and as the nieces and nephews are older, have their own families, and have spread out geographically,  they don’t always get together for Christmas.  However this year my dad’s passing had everyone focused on being with my mom.  It was really great, and it wasn’t lost on anyone that it may be the last time so many of us are together at the same time.  

The “next generation” — my kids and their cousins – is getting older, having their own families, their own in-laws, and forming their own traditions.  It’s not realistic to expect them to attend every “Christmas as my mom’s.”   That’s just how families evolve.     We all sensed this.  And with my dad’s passing, we also sensed how precious every moment is.  We all appreciated every moment of this very special Christmas.

289. The Holidays – Thanksgiving

Two posts in one day!  (actually, more to come).   Overdue stuff about my holidays.  

Yes, you’ll have to endure more posts devoid of debauchery.   I can already hear the clicks of many of you hitting your back button to return to whatever you were doing before coming here.   

Come on, it can’t always be about kinky stuff!  
I am not just some sex slave, sex machine, sex, sex, sex and more sex type of person.  Okay, let’s be honest.  I mean, yeah, I am sort of that type of person, but, . . . not completely!  lol.       

If I had kept with my posts, this would have been three separate posts…one about Thanksgiving, one about Christmas, and one about New Year’s.   You know what?  I am still going to make it three posts.  Tell ‘ya what… I’ll make sure my post AFTER these three is something more kink related!

THANKSGIVING 
My dad’s funeral was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.  A lot of extended family decided to stay through Thanksgiving, which was really great.  The hustle and bustle of so many people helped bring love and joy to a somber time.   Death is a tricky thing for families to deal with as each person deals with it differently.   My mom could have preferred to be left alone more, but she welcomed the commotion of so many guests.   She is in her element when she gets to play host.   My sisters and I helped out a lot, of course. 

Thanksgiving was exclusively focused on my side of the family this year.   Mike’s parents passed away last year, his dad at the start of 2017, and his mom, in November of last year (almost exactly one year before my dad).   Mike does have siblings nearby, but this year we didn’t see any of them or their kids as part of an official “Thanksgiving” festivity. 
My sister hosted Thanksgiving day at her place, to make it easier on mom and because she has plenty of space.

“Hi, I am Kayla, I am, uh, uh, well…” 
Quick note: Kayla turned 24 in November.   Happy Birthday to her!!  Also, you may recall she moved in right after Christmas two years ago!  So happy birthday and happy anniversary of sorts.  Wow.  Two years! 

While many in attendance knew of our relationship with Kayla, there were some who did not, especially the more extended family and the friends of the family who attended the funeral.  Not that we would make a big deal about it, we still needed to address how Kayla would respond if asked about her relationship with the deceased.  It is really no different from what may be asked of T2’s girlfriend.  Of course, T2’s girlfriend can simply say, “I am T2’s, the grandson’s, girlfriend.”  So what should Kayla say?    

Given our love for sarcasm and tomfoolery,  we were tempted to have her just say she was my wife, thus, she was my dad’s daughter-in-law.  That would surely leave them puzzled, but wouldn’t be technically accurate.  We considered a shock-and-awe approach might be funny.  She could say, “Oh, I am Mike and Jen’s lover.”   That would be accurate, but perhaps TMI?  

We decided the best response is the same as T2’s girlfriend.  “I am Mike and Jen’s girlfriend.  Jen is the daughter of the deceased.”  Kayla decided that if asked what that meant, her response would be, “I am their girlfriend.  I live with them, and we all love each other.”   Mike and I felt that was a great response.

Sure, she could have just gone with, “I am Jen’s girlfriend,” knowing that most would assume it to mean “girl who is a friend.”  But we felt including Mike was not only more accurate but appropriate.  We do not feel like we have to hide anything.  

Kayla did find herself explaining who she was.  Some asked nothing more of her, but most actually played it honestly and nicely, no different than they would have for T2’s girlfriend.   Some did acknowledge the strangeness with something like, “Well, that’s different.”  But most proceeded with a matter-of-fact conversation that anyone may have with someone’s significant other.  They would ask her how long we’ve been dating or questions about herself, her schooling, stuff like that.

I believe the setting helped with creating a more courteous tone and mindset among the guests.  I also think that, with the exception of some of dad’s “Bubba” friends, (we are in Texas after all), most either don’t care about what other’s do, or they simply find it within themselves to be civil despite any personal feelings to the contrary.

While we have been very open to everyone about our relationship with Kayla, it still feels nice when a social situation arises that requires affirmation of our relationship.  I know it makes Kayla feel more accepted and more a part of us, knowing that she indeed is part of us and that “we” refers to “three.” 

Next: Post 290.  The Holidays – Christmas

288. About dad

I thought I’d share a bit about my dad.   While a bit mundane, the truth is, most of life is pretty mundane, even for a bisexual, polyamourous, submissive, naturist, sexually adventurous person like myself! 

As shared in my last post, my dad died recently – just before Thanksgiving.   He was very much a product of his upbringing.  Like most people, he had a difficult time separating that upbringing with what truly made him happy.  He grew up in a very Anglo-Saxon-protestant-closed-minded-swallow-your-feelings-do-as-expected-the man-is-in-charge-appearance-over-substance family.   From what he shared with me about his father, it sounded like his father had it even worse than him, as did his father before that.  It’s as if each generation slowly shed this archaic and unhappy way of thinking, living, and loving.    

As part of this, my dad learned to drink his problems away, which clearly doesn’t work.  And when it doesn’t, the go-to is to then blame any problems on others — especially anyone “different.”   However, he also unlearned these things.  His life was very much one of transformation, into a thoughtful, loving, caring, and yes, even nurturing individual.   Having his own family – and namely my mother – is what changed him.  But it didn’t happen overnight.  

I never fully experienced the “old” version of my dad.  By the time I was born he had shunned most of his former ways (drinking, cheating, gambling, fighting — yeah, he spent some time in the county jail from various bar fights, drunk & disorderly, stuff like that).  My siblings experienced more of that version of him. 

He spent a long time trying to figure out how to be a good person.  It started with him first going down the path of trying to just be a good husband.  It took him a long time to get that right.  By the time I was born, (I am the youngest) he saw it as his last opportunity to get fatherhood right.  He worked hard to complete that path.  

He was present for me.  That’s saying a lot, as frankly, it all starts with being present for your kids.  Then, of course, it is about what happens when you are present.  My dad was involved and showed interest in all that I did, even making sure we had our own father-daughter outings without mom.   I felt loved, accepted, and special.  As a child, you can’t really ask for much better feelings than those.  I know I was fortunate that the dad I knew was not the dad my siblings knew or the person my mom first married. 

I think in some families this would have been fodder for resentment from my siblings, but honestly, it was the opposite.  They all were happy for me and for my mom – and for my dad.   While I am sure a part of them feels sorrow for what they missed out on, their lament never became resentment.  For that, all credit goes to my mom.  

My mom never made her kids feel responsible for their dad’s actions.  And she worked tirelessly to fill us with joyful experiences such that we never felt a void from our father.  And while my coming along was the impetus for his final transformation, it wasn’t a switch that suddenly flipped.   It did take him a little time with some backsliding — however, I was always oblivious to this as mom never let on as to what was going on.  Simply put, she allowed me and my siblings to experience the best of him and she shielded us from the worst. 

I often think of how hard that was on mom.  In many ways, the love we had for dad was undeserved and unearned.  If only we knew.  Ah, yes, what if we did?  What if we were exposed to his ugliness?   I can only imagine.   Instead, each of us was exposed to his love, to whatever extent he was able to give it at the time.  For me, it was a lot, and I will always be thankful to my mom for allowing him to express it and for me to experience it, absent any ill thoughts. 

And how do I know all of this?  Dad was very aware of his transformation and very open about talking about it.  Mom actually says little about it.  She never complained about how he once did this or once did that.  But he often apologized, openly and in front of us,  for having done certain things.   

He wanted us to understand who he was and who he had become so that we could understand that people can indeed change.  As a result, he also taught us that a lasting and joyful change can only be fueled by honesty, openness, and love.   And again, as much as I could credit my dad for teaching this lesson, it isn’t lost on me, nor was it ever lost on him, that this would have not been possible if not for my mom. 

She didn’t accept his behaviors and she even left him once for a time.  But despite his actions she still loved him.  Why?  I don’t know.  You can’t really explain love.  His actions would certainly be enough for most people to fall out of love.  Mom shared with me that she always saw that the best of him was always within him.  As long as she sensed it was in him, she couldn’t stop loving him. 

My dad was a fantastic grandfather to my kids.  He totally accepted T1 and treated him the same as all other grandkids (as a reminder, T1 is not my biological son, he is Mike’s from a prior relationship).   To be clear, T1 is my son, biology or not.  I am also grateful that my children got to experience the best version of my dad as possible, as have my nieces and nephews.      

Politics?  Family?   If you have only read my last few posts you’re probably confused as to what kind of blog this is.    Well, it’s a Jenny kind of blog!   I know the kink is more interesting, but there are times I need to show a bit of the person behind the kink. 

Yes, I am a wife, mother, PTA attending, suburban-living, middle-aged housewife living a pretty normal life.  It’s just wrapped in a lifestyle that is a bit unconventional (to put it mildly).  Domestic Discipline and all the other “stuff” that goes with “My DD” are things that I do and a part of who I am.  The occasional diversion into posts about other stuff is to help remind you that such things do not define all of who I am. 

Yeah, I am pretty normal.  For instance, just the other day after sex with my neighbors, my husband spanked me because . . .     

Next: 289.  The holidays – Thanksgiving

287. Times Up for my Time Out!

Wow.  What a break!  Over two months??

I didn’t plan on it, it just sort of happened.  I decided to take a self-imposed time out that I thought would be maybe two weeks, — but two months?  Two things happened that I hadn’t planned on, both wrapped around the fact that my “sub” life has been pretty normal (as in, my version of normal, perhaps not yours, hee-hee).   

DAMN TROLLS!
I had something happen that caused me to shun my computer and all things social media – from my blog, to Facebook, Twitter, even email.  You name it, I didn’t want anything to do with it unless it was IRL.   I won’t get into the details (not that they are private, but they are likely uninteresting and don’t directly involve me).   I will share that they involved a niece of mind and involved me diving deep into the underworld of trolls.  The result was I felt disgusted and spiteful over the ignorance and hate that is out there.  It is so clear that so many people are lacking basic critical thinking skills and will fall for any assertion that is full of fallacies.  I guess it shouldn’t be that shocking given Trump’s success is built upon the ease at which people fall for such things.   I digress. 

The result was I just felt “dirty” using the internet.  My self-indulgent blog was just another example of the me-ism and self-centeredness.   And yes, a blog where one talks about themselves is of course, self indulgent and self-centered.  I get that.  But instead of release, joy, and fulfillment, the thought of it made me ill.  So I unplugged from Twitter, Facebook, my blog, my emails, my computer, and actually just used my phone as, well, as a phone!  Okay, I did text with friends and family, but it was very “transactional” in nature, if that makes sense. 

DAMN DEATH!
Then, came event #2, even more traumatic than the first.   My dad passed away.  It seems a bit odd to not lead with that, as if it somehow was secondary in importance.  It was not, it was simply the second event that led to my absence.   I plan on a post dedicated to what my dad meant to me.  

He had fought off two other cancer scares in the past, but the third proved to be too much, and he thankfully went very quickly.   While we were given maybe three months, he lasted only a little more than one.   The swiftness was aided by his readiness, and as shocking and unexpected as it was, his last month was peaceful and loving.  In that way, it was very fortunate – for him, and for us.  

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my mom, and thus not only my mind, but my time, was not focused on my blog or social media in general.   I have started to want to blog again.  Not that I have much going on, but I do find it comforting and fulfilling.  I am beginning to miss it. 

QUICK FAM UPDATE
Family wise things are going well.  My submission remains in sort of auto-pilot.  Yes, I am disciplined when needed, but nothing transformational has occurred.  No new revelations about myself or my submission.   Our family is beginning to focus on new beginnings  – in five months J will be out of high school and Kayla will have finished grad school.  We have begun talking about what life holds for us after those events.  We may even be moving.  No rush on any of those decisions, but it is exciting to know that we are in a position to dream, knowing that those dreams are all within our grasp (okay, minus the maid, chef, private jet, etc).   Hum..okay, to restate. . . knowing those dreams are restrained only by our financial resources.   

Here’s to living your dreams in 2019!