122. Mischievous Mike and the Little Girl

I thought I’d share some of what went on when Mike and Kayla went to Florida together a few weeks ago (mentioned in Post 115. My Abundant Life).  

Mike had a business meeting in Orlando and he was the only one from his company attending.  It only needed to be a short overnight trip but Kayla asked to come along and he extended it to three nights.  It was a great opportunity for just the two of them bond without me.  Kayla was elated and so excited for them to play “couple.”  I mentioned before that far from minding this, I love this.  I loved Mike’s date night with Donna, and I loved the idea of him having time alone with Kayla.  I was also pleased to see Kayla so excited about it. 

THE TEASE
When they came back home I didn’t question them on specifics.  Just the general, “How was it?”  They didn’t provide many details, just the general, “it was nice, we had a good time.”  

I purposely didn’t want to ask too many questions as I don’t want Mike or Kayla to feel compelled to tell me what they do.  Neither has an obligation to do so and while of course I am curious, I don’t have an expectation that they tell me.  It actually is part of the thrill I get.  I like being a bit in the dark about such things.  I can’t explain it.  I just know that even writing about it is enough to get all those tingly love-chemicals flowing in my body.   Yummy. 

I did ask each of them if they learned anything new about each other.  Kayla said she learned that Mike is more mischievous than she thought.  Mike said that he learned that Kayla was indeed willing to do as she was told, even when it exposes her insecurities.

Okay, so, that thing about liking to be in the dark?  Forget that.  Now I HAVE to know what they did.   So did I come out and say, “Do tell!”   No, that would be too easy.  It was like a game.  I didn’t want to let them know I was interested in the details, but they knew that I was dying to know.   It was a game of will.  Who would break first? 

I simply said, “That’s good, I was hoping you all would learn something.”  I figured I would work on Kayla separately as I felt I could get her to “break” but that Mike was as solid as Fort Knox and would never tell until I asked.  I was not going to ask! 

I knew Kayla was dying to tell me, so later I brought it up to her, first with an innocent question.  “So, what did you do when Mike was at his meeting?”   “Well Ma’am, I just sat around the hotel room,.” she replied.  

I followed with, “Did you all go anywhere fun?”    She answered, “Yes Ma’am, we went to Downtown Disney – now called Disney Springs, and we also swam at the hotel and we went to Howl at the Moon and to some dance bar.”

“What was the bar scene like?”   “Well Ma’am,” she said, “it was pretty typical.  A good crowd of mostly 20 to 30-somethings, loud, festive.  The usual stuff.”

“Oh, so, was the pool at the hotel heated?”   “No Ma’am, but it was indoors.” 

Damn, she wasn’t cracking.  My subsequent questions were all met with short and nondescript answers.  She’s good at this!

I continued for a week to try to bait her into details – nothing doing!   Finally, I broke.  One evening I said, “Okay, okay, y’all, so tell me some details of what you did in Florida.  Mike, what was it that you did that was so mischievous and Kayla, what did he have you do?”

Mike laughed and took on this facial expression that could only be described as the expression of sweet victory.  But he wasn’t going to let me off easily.  He said, “You just have to know, don’t you?”   He wanted me to clearly admit defeat and admit my desire to know.  

I remained coy.  “Well Sir, I am interested in learning more about how the two of you get along on your own and the types of things you did.”    His response was, “Well, we got along very well, and we did some kinky things, so, there you go.” 

He had me.  “Okay, okay, you win Sir. Yes, I have to know the details.”   He said, “But I thought you enjoy being kept in the dark.  Should I deny you that enjoyment?”   Ug, he was still not letting me off the hook.  

JEN RELENTS!
“Sir, yes, I do enjoy being kept in the dark, but the feeling it gives me is a lot like the feelings from foreplay.  It is a great sensation that I love, but at some point, you can’t take the foreplay any longer and need to get into it so you can climax.  I am not asking for an accounting of the sex acts.  I have a good idea that there was plenty of that.  I just want to know about the fun you had.  It couldn’t have just been sex, sex, sex.  So, please share.”

THE STORIES
They shared a lot of crazy and fun stories of their time in Florida.  I gave each of their stories a name and the first one, “Little Girl” is by far my favorite.    It was a classic Mike- induced-challenge-of-wills-and -it.   Mike loves to play these types of games with both of us, just like he did in making me crack and beg to hear their stories.  But on this trip with Kayla, perhaps Mike met his match?  Or did he? 

LITTLE GIRL
It started when they arrived at the airport to depart.  Mike told Kayla that until they got to their hotel room in Florida she was to play like a “helpless little girl” and needed to be “loud” about it.  He told her that her goal was to try to embarrass him and get him to tell her to stop.  If she gets him to do that she would get a treat.  If he gets her to break character, then he wins and there would be no treat. 

She went right into her role as soon as they got on the shuttle from the parking garage to the terminal.  She fairly loudly and in a baby girl voice said, “Daddy, I don’t feel so well. I think I need to go potty.”  She put her head on his shoulder and crosses her legs as if to hold it in.  Mike boldly said, “Sorry little girl, I didn’t hear you, what was that?”

Instead of backing down with a “Never mind,” she even more loudly said, “I need to go potty now.” This clearly got the attention of others sitting around them.  Mike didn’t flinch and told her that it would only be a few minutes.  She up’d the ante by saying, “But Daddy, I am going to go in my pants if I have to wait.”   Mike went right back at her and calmly said, “Well honey, you wanted to wear your big girl pants today.  An accident wouldn’t be nice to all these people in the shuttle, we are almost there.”   Kayla didn’t have a come back other than a sad “Ooooh, Daddy.”  Advantage – Mike. 

It is only a short ride to the terminal.  When it was time to get off, Kayla said, “Daddy, I can’t walk.  If I walk I am gonna have an accident in my panties.  Can you carry me?”  They had luggage to carry and while Mike could carry Kayla, he doesn’t have the best back.  He didn’t want to risk hurting himself carrying her off the shuttle, plus, there was the luggage.  Check mate on Mike?

Nope.  Mike called her bluff and said, “Well fine, baby girl, then you’ll just have to have an accident, because I just can’t carry you.”   Apparently Kayla paused for a moment, as if contemplating whether she should have the accident.  She thought otherwise and just put on a pout and said, “Okay daddy, I’ll try to make it to the restroom.”   

They got off the shuttle and made their way to the security checkpoint.  When their id’s were being checked and with the TSA agent standing right next to them Kayla clearly said, “Daddy, what does that do?”   Mike responded, “That’s a scanner for them to scan your boarding pass”.  She then asked, “What’s a boarding pass?”  Mike calmly said, “Sweetie, it’s what let’s them know you bought a ticket for the plane ride.”  I am sure the TSA agent was like, “WTF!?!?”

When they got to the bins where you take off your shoes and stuff, Kayla said, “Daddy, let me take your belt off, please.”   Mike said, “No, I got it, you get your shoes off.”   Kayla was too smart for that.  “But Daddy, you always let me take your belt off when you are going to spank me, please please please, let me take it off.”   Mike sternly said, “No, not this time, the line needs to keep moving. Now don’t argue with me.”   Like an actress on cue, Kayla’s eyes got all watery and she put on a big pouty face.   After she went through the scanner and was waiting on the other side, one of the agents asked her what was wrong.  “My daddy yelled at me.”   Apparently the agent just shook their head and had no response to that!

Once through the scanners Kayla said, “Daddy, I need you to put on my shoes.”  Mike was nowhere near relenting and replied, “Okay darling, I will be glad to.”  As he was putting on her shoes she went back to the “I have to go potty” routine.  Mike said, “Okay, I’ll take you there next.”  “But daddy, you know I don’t like going potty alone.  I need you to take me all the way to the potty.”    OMG!  I can only imagine the reaction to those that were in earshot.   Mike simply said, “Okay honey, I will.” 

As they approached the door to the family bathroom, Kayla then loudly said, “You know daddy, I think I can go to the big girl restroom by myself, I don’t need your help.”  With equal volume, Mike said, “That’s so big girl of you sweetie, sure, you can use the big girl restroom.”  Yep, Mike could  dish it as well!   Advantage – Mike!

After several minutes Mike gets a text from Kayla. “Daddy, I need you to come in here, I need your help wiping.”  Mike waited to respond, trying to formulate a plan.  “Daddy, where are you, I will start calling out for you.”   Mike wasn’t sure what to do.  Advantage – Kayla!

Mike quickly thought and texted back, “Okay sweetie, which stall are you in?”   With the reply in hand, Mike then texted her with “Okay, just a minute.”  The next thing Kayla knew was that there was some lady knocking on the stall saying, “Kayla, is that you in there?  Your dad sent me to see if I can help.”    Yes, Mike asked a complete stranger to check on her.   In as little girl of a voice as she could muster she said, “No thank you, I’m okay.  Tell my daddy I will be right out.”    

The lady waited for her at the stall door.  I can only imagine the look on her face when Kayla opened the door.  Kayla said she couldn’t make eye contact with the lady, not because of embarrassment, but because she knew it would make her burst out laughing . She held back her laugh and just said, “Thank you ma’am, I’ve got it from here.”

Kayla said when she emerged from the bathroom, Mike had the same “sweet victory” look on his face that he just had when I relented and asked what they did in Florida.   Victory for Mike?  Not a chance, Kayla hadn’t conceded yet.  

They stopped for some snacks and there was some sort of stuffed animal in the store and Kayla loudly said, “Daddy, I want that stuffy.”   Mike simply said, “Sure, a stuffy for my baby girl it is.”   “Daddy, I want this too,” as she pulled some key chain trinket from a display.  “Okay hon, we will get it.”  “But Daddy, I want ALL the different colored ones.”  There were like eight or nine of these things and they were ridiculously priced at $7.99 each.  

“Okay, hon, but that’s a lot of money so it will come out of your allowance as Daddy doesn’t have that much to spend right now.”

Kayla persisted, “No daddy, I don’t want to spend my money.  I want them to be from you.  I never get anything from you and I want all of these and I want them now.”   Apparently Kayla got very loud and attracted the attention of everyone in this small store.  Mike pulled her close to him and he sternly whispered, “I knew you would be helpless.  I didn’t think you would be bratty.”   To that she sweetly replied, “But Daddy, I am helpless. I can’t stop myself from wanting what I want. . .(and dropping her baby girl voice for a moment)…and I want that treat you promised me.”

Mike called her bluff.  “Sorry darling, you just can’t always get what you want.”   Kayla didn’t relent and even very loudly said,  “I want it, I want it, I want it.  You are a mean daddy!”  Mike grabbed her arm and gave her butt a firm swat and said, “You don’t yell and if you yell again, you will get more of that.”   

Mike said the look in Kayla’s face was priceless.  At first there was this half smile, like she was going to laugh, but then it just shifted like a switch went off.  She had this evil, piercing look to herself and she took a deep breath, and opened her mouth and before more than a full second of a very loud, very high pitched shrill left her mouth, Mike cupped her mouth with his hand and said, “Okay, Kayla, you win.  You get your prize.”  

Check mate!   Winner – Kayla!

I loved this.  I shared before that Kayla tends to be shy and a bit of a wallflower.  This was so unlike her.  I asked her where she got the courage to do this.  She said she just put everything and everyone around her out of her mind, never made eye contact with people, and sort of “left herself.”  She said once she felt that she was no longer herself, it was pretty easy.  It amazes me she was that bold, especially when they hadn’t even left our hometown airport.  Yea, Kayla!

On subsequent posts I’ll share some of the other Florida happenings.  They mostly share a common theme of Mike pushing Kayla to lose her inhibitions and come out of her shell when in public.   

NEXT: 123. Mischievous Mike and the Swim

121. Questioning my Kink – 20 Questions from Sis

Okay, it wasn’t 20 questions.  It also was my sisters, plural, not just one of them…just taking a bit of literary license with the title.

My sisters peppered me with a variety of questions and I thought their questions, and my answers, were worth sharing.  They didn’t ask me much when I first revealed my lifestyle to them (Post 116).  They’ve become curious now that they’ve had time to cogitate on it.

Before I get into that, a quick apology/clarification on my last post/rant.  I should have made it clear that I do consider myself a feminist AND further, a humanist.  In my mind, the former is a subset of the latter. You can be the former without being the latter, but you can never be the latter without being the former.   Okay, enough of that.    

So, here we go!  Questions from sis. . . 

What if Kayla gets a boyfriend/girlfriend?
The three of us have talked openly about this.  Nothing prevents Kayla from dating but she has made it clear she is not “in the market.”  She feels her relationship with us is the relationship she is in, she doesn’t want or need another.

We talked about how this could change and the potential challenges it could pose.  As we are required to be completely open and honest, that openness can be tricky.  How would it make Kayla feel if Mike or me (or both) did not like this person?  Would Kayla tell this person about her relationship with us, and if not, why not, and if so, at what point?  We aren’t looking for a fourth, but wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to it, but again, that could be awkward.  How would it make Kayla feel if we “rejected” this person she was attracted to?   Then there is the risk the partner would reject her when/if they were told about her relationship with us.  Then there is the issue of being confident that Kayla was practicing safe sex.

I am sure there are even more issues that would have to be addressed.  Suffice to say it gets complicated. It is good that the three of us have talked through these in advance, to the extent you can even anticipate the various complications.  I am not sure how serious Kayla took those conversations because in her mind she isn’t going to date.

What if people at Mike’s work found out?
 Mike and I have become very comfortable and confident with our lifestyle.  While we don’t publicize it and consider it private, we aren’t worried over who finds out. We have a “so what?” attitude about it now.

Kayla and Mike have gone out on dates, have held hands and even kissed in public (like a peck or typical PDA, not like a make out session).  They don’t overly flaunt it, but it is no different from when Mike and I are out together.  Even Kayla and I have held hands or give each other a peck on the lips while out in public.  At some point someone we know will see something.  Let their imaginations run wild!

What if Kayla’s parents found out?
We also talked about this.  You’ll find that there isn’t much that me, Mike, and Kayla haven’t discussed.  I mentioned before I am a bit obsessed with setting expectations and part of that is talking through the various situations we could face in the future.  While you can never anticipate all the turns in life, nor anticipate how you will feel and react when they are real and not just hypothetical, let alone guarantee your feelings won’t change between now and then, it is still helpful to talk them through when they are just hypothetical.  

Kayla feels the chances are that at some point they will find out, probably hearing from someone who saw something in public like I mentioned before.  That is the primary reason she does try to be discreet and not overly flaunt it in public, but at the same time, she will still hold hands with one of us at times, or even give a quick kiss in public.  She is comfortable just telling them it is her life.  She would tell them she isn’t going to discuss her choices.  As for us, we are prepared to do the same.  

What if Kayla tells everyone?
I mentioned this before in a prior blog where Kayla has confided in a friend of hers, with our consent.  That has actually changed in that we have told Kayla she is free to tell whomever she wishes, we just want to know who she tells.    She has since shared it with her circle of friends.

Kayla has found a lot of strength and confidence from being able to share it with her friends.  Explaining it to them, much like me explaining it to my sisters, is a reaffirming thing.  It feels good to verbalize and share, with pride and not shame, what is deeply important to us.    

What about when Kayla leaves?
We have talked about the fact that we are “Mr and Mr. Right-Now” for Kayla, and that we don’t look at this as a lifelong commitment.  However, we aren’t opposed to that either and leave it up to Kayla to indicate when she is ready to take on a new chapter in her life.  Kayla said that emotionally she can’t ever imagine leaving, but philosophically thinks that once she finishes grad school (spring or fall of 2019), she can better assess her needs and plans for the future.   She reiterates that her feelings right now are such that it hurts her to even think about leaving.  We feel the same way.  Mike and I truly love her.  We love what she adds to our household, our relationship, our family.  There is so much more to it than the DD, D/s, and sex.  

What if someone gets physically hurt?
The “kink” life can be a contact sport for sure.  Accidents can happen. I’ve shared an extremely deep bruising I got in Post 52. The Spanking that Keeps Giving.  There’s also been the occasional bump on the head, redness or soreness from a restraint (ankles or wrists), or rawness/extreme sensitivity of genitals or breasts.  And not so much for Kayla, but for us nearing 50, there is the occasional joint or muscle pain after a particularly contorted and demanding activity.   Other than those things, I don’t think we do anything that is extreme enough that it risks injury that would require medical attention.

The key is communicating needs, limits, and how you are feeling.  If something is sore from the day before, you say something.   Of course, if someone were seriously injured, it makes no difference if it were the result of TTWD or just a more typical household accident.  We’d seek appropriate treatment. 

What’s it like?
More specifically, sis asked what it was like being in a three-way relationship.  This is the type of question you can’t really answer to someone’s satisfaction.  

I told her, “You know what it is like to be in your relationship with your husband?   Well, it’s like that.”

I told her there is a lot of mundane and normal stuff that you have in any relationship.  Being submissive is more than a role in the bedroom.  It is a day-to-day, moment to moment mind-set.  And being in this “triad” with Kayla is no different.  It is more than what we do in the bedroom.  It is the day to day, moment to moment interactions that we value the most.  And what those interactions like?  Well, they are like the normal interactions my sister has with her husband.   

Having said that, we clearly have more sexual energy and emotional openness than most relationships.   We spend a lot of time on understanding and reacting to the needs of each other.  I told my sisters that this should be the norm, but unfortunately, typically isn’t for most people. Most relationships lack the proper degree of willingness to be vulnerable with each other. Not so with a DD, and not so with polyamory.

I told them that the secret DD revealed to me is that your willingness to be vulnerable to your partner is directly related to your fulfillment in that relationship.  I’ve posted about vulnerability before.  My favorite is a reblog I did on Post 68. REBLOG: To fall in love anyone, do this.

What kind of equipment or toys did you buy?
That was easy, I told them next time they were over to the house I would show them. I’ve shared a post on my first “shopping spree,” (Post 41. Christmas in July ), but we have continued to make frequent purchases and have a large assortment of stuff.  Kayla has a chest in her room that is her personal choices.  

Of course I followed my answer with, “Why are you asking?  Looking for recommendations?” She slyly said, “Maybe, maybe not.” 

You are okay with Mike having sex with Kayla?
Yes. And he is okay with me having sex with her too.  

What do you enjoy the most?
I told her this was another question without a definitive answer, no more than if I asked her what she enjoyed the most about her marriage.  It is basically the same things about feeling fulfilled.  It is that feeling that is the most enjoyable.  Of course, how I get that feeling is very different from how she gets it.  So the question really is, what activities give me the greatest fulfillment. 

That’s tough to answer.  It isn’t about one thing or one action.  As far as my submissiveness, it is about the full package of being submissive.  I think I summed it up best in Post 30. I found my thrill. I did my best to share those sentiments to her.  I finally just decided to tell her about this blog and told her to read for herself.  (Yikes, maybe that wasn’t a good idea, but too late, my sisters now know of my blog). 

What, you blog about this?
My sisters were dismayed that I blog about this.  I told them it provides sufficient anonymity and it serves as a tremendous affirmation for me.   She countered with my prior statement of being comfortable with people finding out, so why the anonymity.  I told her again I consider this private, and being comfortable with people finding out whatever bit or piece they discover is way different from publicizing all the details that can be shared with a click of the button.  

I’ve been very tempted to share more about myself, pictures, etc.  Mike is totally against this and, while tempted, I too wouldn’t want to do that (yet).  Mike has a total “social media” ban on any salacious pictures of any of us or even non-salacious ones that tie us to TTWD.   I had to agree to that in order to have his permission to blog.    And Mike has access to my email, blog, and all social media so he is able to check up on me.  He knows I have a tendency to overshare, just as I did by telling my sisters of my blog.  

Why don’t I consider this abuse? 
Sis, it is all about consent and intention!  Without those it is absolutely abuse.  DD or D/s or anything we regard as kink is not one-sided exploitation when there is consent and the right intentions.   

Well isn’t this all so nice for Mike? (said sarcastically)
Yes, it is, but don’t think it is easy.  A submitted wife requires a committed husband, and a submitted person requires a committed dom.  These are equally important responsibilities. By equal, I don’t mean “the same.”  It means that the whole thing falls apart if one of us fails in our responsibilities.  But to really answer your question, absolutely, it is very nice for Mike, and that gives me immense pleasure.

Other questions
My sisters also asked questions that I covered in Post 98. Three’s Company Housekeeping.

Their questions were delivered with some skepticism, but were non-judgmental. There was never a “How could you?”  They were truly curious, and remain so, regarding how I got to this point.  They know me well enough to know I have thought through all the angles.  I shared with them that while I put a lot of thought into our journey into DD, almost from the moment I considered it, I knew it was right for me.  

Last question…
Do you have regrets about this?
No, and further, I still have that same enthusiasm today as I had when my journey started. And while my enthusiasm hasn’t waned, my appreciation as increased.  I think of the path my life was on pre-DD and know that there was no way I could be as happy and as fulfilled as I am as a submitted wife.  The relationships with John and Donna, and of course with Kayla, are unexpected and joyful additions to that journey. 

NEXT: 122. Mischievous Mike and the Little Girl

 

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120. Is this submissive a feminist? (MAGA rant)

I mentioned that I revealed my Domestic Discipline lifestyle to my sisters. (Post 116. Revealing DD to my Sisters).  In further discussions, one of my sisters stated, “I thought you were a feminist, I guess not!”

I found this interesting on a two of levels.  One, I never identified as a feminist before, so why did she assume I did?  The other is that my thoughts on the equality of women are mutually exclusive from the choices I make for myself. 

My response
Just know my rants are not limited to my blog.  Nope.  I rant in real life and my sister’s statement got me on roll of a rant.  

I told her that I never thought of myself as a feminist, but also never disagreed with the basic premise of feminism.  I boil it down to simply the difference between right and wrong, just and unjust.  

I always feel I stood up against ideas that promote social inequality.  The empowerment of women is part of that, but no more or less important to me than the empowerment of all individuals.  None of us should have any human rights arbitrarily restricted from us because of age, gender, race, religion, economic status, sexual preference, sexual identity, kinks, etc.  And I also believe that those categories should not have the right to arbitrarily restrict the rights of those in any other category.  

I explained to sis that I have made decisions about how to live my life that are contrary to the meaning of empowerment.  I do so knowingly and willingly and for me, it is immensely rewarding and fulfilling in ways I have shared many times.  However, my decisions are about my role within our household.  I serve Mike, I submit to Mike, but I do not serve mankind and do not feel submissive toward anyone else.  

INVESTED IN HATE
I recognize that people are heavily invested in their discrimination – so much so that they are blind to its’ harm.   And let’s just call discrimination what it often is – hate!   People become so invested in their hate that they believe it is justified.  Their investment typically comes from being indoctrinated from birth…”My parents thought that way,”  “My community thought that way,” “My schools, religion, country, ancestors, etc., thought that way.”  “I taught my children to think that way.”   Yep, pretty invested.

Furthering that investment is the fact they join social circles, churches, or other organizations that resonate the same messages regarding their hate.  And even further, they only watch “news” organizations that do the same.  Yep, people get heavily invested in their hate. 

And they are so invested in their discrimination that it is not sufficient for them to just accept that their beliefs are right for them.  No, they are so insecure about the validity of their thinking that they do all they can do impose their thinking on others.  If they truly felt their way of thinking was so “right” and so “self-evident,” then why not allow that thinking to be scrutinized?  If they are correct, then that scrutiny would only lead to more people thinking as they do.  

Of course the thought of even entertaining scrutiny is very painful for them because they are so heavily invested.  “You are saying my parents were wrong?”  “You are saying my culture is wrong?”  “You are saying my religion is wrong?”  You are saying my political affiliation is wrong?”   They are so invested that they don’t allow themselves to ever question such things, so how could they possibly entertain questions from others?   To question is to doubt, and that doubt is just too painful to consider.  Hate is just easier.

And to go a step further, that “hate” is not always directed at others.  Sometimes it is directed at yourself, but we call that type of hate, “guilt.”  These same organizations that I previously mentioned are great at trying to instill guilt as a way to control. 

All of this is why, over the years, a democratic government tries to force people to not discriminate – to not hate!   By and large it works, as more people are exposed to other thinking, the “others” become more humanized to them.  Unfortunately, as more people divest themselves from the hate, the remaining haters have become even more desperate to cling on to their dehumanizing thinking.  They tend to wrap that thinking in their faith and in the flag.  Thus the current political environment in the U.S.   A decreasing population of “haters” who are ever more desperate to cling on to hate, to the point they will undermine democratic mechanisms to do so (voter suppression, gerrymandering, voter fraud/hacking, bribes, etc). 

POLITICAL HISTORY – DUMB SOUTHERNERS 
A political history side note – interesting that until the mid-1960’s, the U.S. political party that was socially progressive was the Republican party.  Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, etc.

 If you look at the social platform of the Republican party of the 1950’s, you’d swear you were looking at the Democratic platform from the 80’s through today.  Nixon converted the racist Dixiecrats to the GOP as those southern democrats were alienated by Kennedy’s progressive social stances, thus hate found a new home.  

What didn’t change was that the South continued to vote against its own self-interest.  Which is why the South has the highest divorce, murder, STD/HIV/Aids, teen pregnancy, single parent homes, infant mortality, and obesity rates, while having the poorest health care and lowest rates of high school graduation.  And don’t think it is the minorities.  The food stamp capital of the U.S. is white (Owsley County, Kentucky).  Oh, but all of this happens to be the “bible belt” so, at least they believe in the right God and at least they are focused on keeping trans kids in the “right” bathrooms.       

FEMINIST  HUMANIST
So, sis, no, I don’t specifically identify as a feminist, I identify as a humanist.  And of course that includes women, and I believe that gender should not grant someone special privilege, nor relegate someone to a lesser status in life.  

For me, I look at the choices adults get to make about their lives and if their decisions don’t restrict other people’s freedom, then fine by me.  While I have biases (we all do) I try to challenge them (when I recognize them).  And while I have a variety of personal beliefs that I promote (such as what DD has done for me), I am in a continued mode of self-reflection and inquiry.  This is all in attempt to ensure an honesty about my choices.  I welcome questions and doubts and concerns from others.

I also try to divest myself of negative stereotypes that my upbringing reinforced in me and that society continues to reinforce.  I think of it more like the color I choose to paint my house (it’s called Carriage House).  I like it, it works for me and my situation (works well with the bricks).  But I don’t expect other’s to choose it for themselves and I don’t feel offended if they don’t like my choice. I accept that just so long as they don’t act in a way to restrict my choice (homeowner association bylaws excluded, but hey, I made a choice to abide by those bylaws).  Unfortunately, in this analogy, there are too many people who, at best, want to keep someone down because of their choices, and at worst, want to kill those people because of their choices.      

And sis, while I have found beauty, fulfillment, growth, love, and peace in submitting to Mike, I have no expectations that others will embrace this lifestyle for themselves.  And while I find that same beauty, fulfillment, growth, love, and peace in my sexual explorations, again, I have no expectations that others would find the same.

I am proud and excited to say, “I can’t do that without checking with my husband.”  I am not okay with me or anyone saying, “You can’t do that without checking with your husband.”  So, sis, in simple terms, yes, I am a feminist, but I believe I am much more than that. 

Sis:  “Wow, Jenny, that was intense.  So, tell me, what do you feel about Trump?”

We laughed.  The truth is, I probably would not have gone on such a rant if not for our so-called President. 

The fact that hate has been validated and empowered requires us to resist, expose, fight, ridicule, deny, and extinguish it at every opportunity.  

Such as my opportunity to state in a long-ass rant when my sister asked me a simple question. 

NEXT: 121.  20 Questions from Sis

119. The Stick of Truth, Part III (Severe spanking)

This series of three posts are unlike what I typically write about.  I originally wrote a post that simply reflected on these events and I peppered that reflection with some of the details.  When I reviewed what I originally wrote, it felt like it didn’t really convey the experience very well.  Thus, I decided to first write about what happened in great detail.  Then, I will share the reflections and lessons learned.  So here is Part III of those details!.
PUNISHMENT CONTINUED
In the morning Mike instructed me to get J off to school as usual and that he would be going into work a little late.  Kayla said she needed to use the bathroom.  He told her to leave the blindfold on and he led her to the restroom.  Once done he returned her to the bed and removed all the covers.  He then tied her to the bed.

Our bed is not the most conducive to restraints.   The only way to make it work well is to be completely splayed out, like in a giant “X.”   One arm on one side of the headboard, one on the other, and ankles to each side of the footboard.   It takes some extra rope to make it all reach as it is a king sized bed.  He again applied the suckers to her breasts and said that she would remain there until I returned from taking  J to school.  I woke up J and Mike joined us for breakfast

Upon walking into the house after dropping J off at school, Mike called out for me from the bedroom.  When I entered the room I saw that he had Kayla laying on her stomach and he was finishing up tying the last restraint.  She was still in the “X” position but now on her stomach instead of her back (the suckers were removed).  Mike had eight or nine different spanking implements laid out on the bed alongside Kayla.

Mike told me to quickly pick one.  I grabbed one of the short wooden paddles, shaped a bit like a ping-pong paddle but a little bigger.  He took it from me and gave Kayla three very hard swats on each cheek.  He then gave me the paddle and told me to give her 10 in row on each check with the same intensity.  If any were not to his liking he would administer 5 additional ones to Kayla.  I gave her the 10 on each cheek and fortunately did so to his satisfaction.  He then had me choose and repeat with another paddle, then another, then another.  That’s 40 now on each cheek.  Kayla was crying.

I had finally had enough and asked Mike what he was doing.  He sternly said, “I have Kayla’s trust, don’t I have yours?”  

I thought for a second and said, “Yes, Sir.”  I still didn’t know for sure what this was all about, but, Mike has never let me down before and I do trust him.  I just wasn’t sure if all the stuff with Kayla desiring more dominance had perhaps clouded his judgment.  (Remember my post regarding the Stanford Experiment Post 114. Resist! And remain Kinky!.) 

With that, Mike told to me choose another implement, and then another.  She’s now received 60 on each cheek, all with a pretty hard intensity.  The only implement left was the cane.  We only got the cane because Kayla asked for it.  It has been used before (on both of us) but not after this long of a severe spanking session.  

Mike pointed to the top of her buttocks and said he wanted to see a stripe “here”, then pointed to two other areas and said “here” and “here.”  Kayla cried very loudly with each one.  Mike then continued to point lower on her buttocks and all the way to her upper thighs, “Here, here, and here.”   When done he said he wasn’t satisfied with the stripes and to repeat all six strokes.   Before I could finish all six, Kayla called out her “yellow” safe word, which meant we would pause or change things up. 

Mike said “Okay, Kayla, let’s give you a few minutes and you tell us when you are ready to proceed.”  He called me over and whispered in my ear, “Get the prison strap and I want you to keep spanking her with it until she uses her safe-word again.  We are going to continue until she calls “Red.”

My thoughts went to the few times Mike brought me to my limits.  It probably would have been hard for someone else had to stand by and watch me at that time, yet, I look back fondly on my punishments that ended with me crying “Red.”  (my safeword is actually “Mercy”).   I knew I had to put aside my protective instincts when it comes to Kayla and recognize that she thrives in being submissive

My mind was still swirling with exactly what led to this.  Was there something else that happened when Kayla was talking with Mike?   Was this all just because of the cussing?   Why was Mike having me administer the spankings, both the night before and this morning?  I knew there was more to this than I understood at the time.

“I am ready, Sir,” Kayla said.  The thoughts in my head then shifted to whether I should strike hard with the prison strap, hoping to get to red faster, or get there over a longer series of lighter strikes?  Her ass was already fiery red and purplish splotches,  and the stripes from the cane showed boldly.  I decided to start pretty hard and hoped she called “red” soon.  She cried very loudly with each strike.  I just blocked it out as best I could and kept striking her every few seconds.  I didn’t keep count, but she took a lot, maybe ten,  before she again called “yellow.”  

I wished Mike would just tell her that this wasn’t going to stop until she said “Red.”  I was concerned that Kayla had never been pushed to her limit, and may not recognize it and may take more than she physically should allow.   

“I am ready, Sir.”  Mike then told Kayla that we would be going back to the cane and they would be harder than before.  Kayla was still crying heavily but managed an “Okay, Sir.”  This time Mike took the cane and gave her a very hard strike that loudly popped when it hit.  Kayla let out a scream followed quickly by “Red, red, red!”

Mike untied her and held her for some time.  She continued to sob as he held her and she was saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”   Her butt looked worse than anything I had ever received.  Mike calmly told her there was nothing to apologize for, and that everything was okay.  He didn’t let go of her until her sobs subsided.

THE LECTURE
Mike called me over and told me to get on my knees in front of the two of them.  Mike was standing with Kayla’s head still buried in his chest, tears still coming from her eyes but she was no longer wailing.  Mike then began his lecture.

“Kayla shared with me that you told her to not tell me something, that you felt it would be best if you told me whatever it is, versus having Kayla tell me, is that true?”

“Yes, Sir,” I responded

“While you may have had good intentions, it seems to me that you forgot or felt it unimportant that we already addressed the two of you conspiring to break rules (See Post 109. The Tuck, The Spank, and the Slumber).  Which one was it, did you forget, or just felt it was unimportant?”

I’ve learned that these aren’t rhetorical questions and he expects me to either choose one or state another.   In addition, I knew the questions wouldn’t stop until I quit trying to justify breaking a rule.  “Sir, I know it is important to not encourage Kayla to break her rules, or to break mine.  And yes, I did feel that was less important than me talking to you first.”

“So, not only did you encourage Kayla to break a rule, but then Kayla accommodated your request.  That is why Kayla earned this Reward, and she will earn such a Reward anytime this happens.  I told you both before that this type of Transgression was serious, and I should not worry about the two you working together to break rules or conspire to keep a transgression secret.  I expect both of you to help prevent each other from breaking a rule.  And, both of you should fully expect the other to tell me of any transgression they witnessed.”

Mike added, “And Jen, as Kayla is submissive to you, it is even more egregious for you to put Kayla in such a predicament.  You should show greater leadership and set a better example.  This punishment was intended to give Kayla something she would not forget so that she would think twice the next time you did anything to encourage her to break a rule.”

Then he added, “If something like this ever happens again, whoever instigates the rule breaking will be the one to administer the punishment on the one who went along with it.  Do you both understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” we both responded.

So now, Jen, tell me what it was that was so important that you needed to tell me about it before Kayla? “

DOH!   After all of this, we had yet to address the very issue that started it all! 

Bfore we get to that, let me say a few things about the experience up until that point.

REFLECTION
What I write here doesn’t do justice to the amount of discussion and reflection that occurred.  Simply put, this experience helped me realize that I need to think of Kayla as an adult who not only chooses to be submissive, but thrives in her submission.  In addition, I need to dispel my preconceived notions of what it was going to be like with Kayla in the household.

I shared before that “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” (Post 81. Expectations).  Before Kayla moved in I tried hard to get everyone on the same page with clear expectations, but sometimes you just can’t predict where things will go.  At the time, Kayla wasn’t sure of her needs or how her desires would evolve.  Despite her honesty with what she was feeling and thinking at the time, she now has a much better sense of herself and realizes her needs are not going to be fulfilled with simply following “Jen’s DD.”  She needs “Kayla’s DD.”  

KAYLA’S NEEDS
This experience told me I still didn’t completely “get it” regarding reconciling my needs for domestic discipline with Kayla’s needs.  I first wrote about this in Post 111. DD Jenny Style vs. Kayla Style.   Kayla has now clearly articulated her needs and expectations.  In her words, “She is Mike’s.”

She says she feels pain when she is not submissive, not honest, and not completely surrendered to Mike.  She says the emotional pain of letting him down is worse than any spanking.  She feels that is why she cries so much when she is punished.  It isn’t the physical pain causing the tears, it is the emotional pain.  She strives to be fully observant to all his wants and needs without thought of her own desires.  I disrespected her feelings and needs by asking her to keep something from Mike.

I now understand and accept that Kayla’s relationship with Mike has nothing to do with Jen’s Domestic Discipline.  While there is some overlap in acts of service and punishments, her relationship with Mike is clearly Mike and Kayla as Dominant/Submissive, and even some Master/Slave overtones.

MY NEEDS
I have never been threatened by Kayla’s needs.  That is still the case.  Her needs don’t influence what I need or get out of being submissive.  They don’t change what Mike expects and deserves from me.  I enjoy and thrive within the domestic discipline that has evolved between me and Mike.  I also love and admire him for his added responsibility of being a Dom to Kayla.  It actually turns me on to watch him in that role.   

My hopes for Kayla have always been that she find whatever it is that fulfills her.  Those hopes haven’t changed.  I will continue to talk with her to help ensure she is honest with her self assessments regarding what is fulfilling.  “Self-knowledge” is so important.  As we already learned in just two months, your own understanding of your needs can change over time.   If you don’t stay in touch with yourself, it is hard to recognize your needs have changed.  And even harder to voice those changes to those around you.  Kayla had actually been trying to voice this for a while, but hadn’t quite found the words to effectively communicate her needs.   The events regarding this punishment allowed her to clearly articulate that she feels the most fulfilled with her own D/s relationship with Mike and not simply a copy of my DD.  

Oh, and Kayla doesn’t hold any grudge for me “getting her into trouble” and believe me, I will make sure to never “conspire” with her on anything.  And I continue to be her “Ma’am.”

OH. . . THE SOAPING
I decided against providing details only because this post was long enough, but yes, Mike followed through and she got a mouth soaping for cussing.   It was complete with the “pee rinsing,” her first.    

NEXT: 120. Am I a feminist? (Epic Rant)

 

 

   

 

 

 

118. The Stick of Truth, Part II (Ass play/punishment?)

I had to break this up to two posts (actually will be three!) as I wanted to share some of the details.  You’ll have to read the prior post to understand where this picks up.  It’s not like me to share this level of detail, but, I thought it was important in understanding what we went through, and, it was kinda fun writing about it!  

Before I get back to the story, a quick observation that Kayla made about my posts.

She noticed I always refer to Mike as “Mike”, or to myself as “Jen” when sharing the dialogue that went on between us.  The truth is, when talking to Kayla, I always refer to Mike as “Sir.”   Kayla always addresses me as “Ma’am.”  So I might say to Kayla, “Sir wants us to such and such…” instead of “Mike wants us to…”    However, when I write about it, I always refer to it  as “Mike wants us to…”

I believe that makes it easier for you all to read.  After all, he is my Sir, not yours!   Also, when reading it on my blog, I hope it reminds y’all (yes, I say “y’all” – I am from Texas after all) that we, in fact, just Mike and Jen.  Our lifestyle doesn’t change the fact we are normal people.  Hey – I heard that!  Who just said, “Geesh, normal?  What’s normal about them?”  

BACK TO WHAT HAPPENED
After dinner Mike helped me clean up, which is rare, but not unheard of.  He then asked me to tend to getting J’s evening wrapped up and getting him to bed and he would go “check on Kayla.”  He added, “Then we all have some things to discuss, don’t we?”

I knew Kayla said something to him and I wasn’t sure what all he meant by “checking on Kayla.”  I was concerned that she told him everything and he was going through with the punishment.  I asked him if we could talk and he said no, we could talk after J was asleep. He then added, “And don’t go to our room or Kayla’s until J is down for the night.”  I reluctantly gave a “Yes, Sir,” but fortunately my reluctance didn’t show.

Mike went to Kayla’s room.  She apparently had been crying quite a bit and between the tears and the slobber was a bit of a mess.  Mike rummaged through her “toy chest” and did not respond when she asked, “Is that you, Sir?” (she was blindfolded).   He eventually walked over to her and pulled up hard on the chains attached to the nipple and clit clamps and finally said, “Yes, it is me.  I am pondering an appropriate way to respond to your transgression.”

He took off her blindfold and removed the clamps, but left the ball gag in.  He then attached these nifty suckers we have (called the Fusion Triple Suckers, I recommend them!).  He put one on each nipple and her clit and then just stared at her for a while, occasionally ratcheting the suckers another half turn.  He told her that she was going to have to stay there until J was down for the night.  That could be an hour or more.  She mumbled something so Mike removed the gag.  She had to pee.  He asked her if she could hold it and she said not for very long.  He said he would be back soon and he left the room.

He returned with some hospital grade absorbent bed pads.  We had some left over from years of J having incontinence issues at night (that issue eventually resolved itself).  Oh – and he also brought a glass of water.    He told her she could try to hold it in, but if not, she would just have to go in her bed.  He lined some pads underneath her and laid another one over waist.  He had her drink the glass of water as quickly as she could.  Mike put the ball gag and blindfold back on her and removed the sucker that was on her clit.  As he left the room he then told her someone would return once J was down – which could be n hour or more.

BALL GAG SAFETY
This particular gag is medium-sized.  Large enough to cause a lot of drool, but small enough that your jaw is not stuck too wide open.  The ball is soft and does not go much past the teeth.  You can partially close your mouth if you bite down really hard.  Lastly, we are always sure to leave the person’s head free to move from side to side.  All of this is in the name of safety as you want to prevent all possible breathing obstructions if leaving a gagged person alone.   Even with all of this, having it in more than 15 or 30 minutes will leave you with a sore jaw.  She already had it in at least 45 minutes before her brief respite.

CLEANING UP KAYLA
Mike didn’t say a word to me when he returned from checking on Kayla.  I was tempted to ask him or say something, but I knew he would not appreciate it.  Clearly he is choosing not to say anything to me, plus, I knew it would not make for family dinner conversation.  I think he knew his silence was driving me crazy.  I had no idea what Kayla had told him or what Mike was having Kayla do.  It was a bit a mind fu*k by Mike.   I often enjoy this mental torture and would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t worrying about Kayla.

I did my best to encourage my son to go to bed, but it was still another hour and half before he did so.  Once J was asleep Mike told me to check on Kayla.  He told me that there might be a mess in there and to not mind the mess.  He told me to just remove whatever Kayla had on or attached to her except the blindfold, and to take her into the shower and get her clean.   He told me to tell her that she is not to speak until he speaks to her and she is not to assist in her cleaning.  She is to stand there and allow me to wash her down and dry her.   Lastly, after I tell her all of that, I am not to speak another word to her until Kayla was clean.

Once Kayla was clean, I was to remain clothed, sit down, and instruct her to get over my knees.  We would both remain silent and remain in that position until he comes into the room and gave further instructions.

I went to Kayla’s room and saw the soaked pads across her lap and on her bed. I also saw her nipples and areolas were purple – not a heavy purple, but purple none-the-less.  That’s what suckers can do when left on a long time.  Her pillow, neck, and chest and sides were wet with drool.

I removed the suckers and ball gag and although I hadn’t said anything, I guess she sensed my touch as she immediately said, “Thank you, Ma’am.”  I grabbed a tee shirt from her drawer and wiped her down a bit and told her she is not to speak until Mike comes.  I led her from her room into our bathroom and into the shower.  

As I showered her off, she never said a word.  The only reaction she gave was a quick wince when I wiped her chest, as apparently her nipples were a bit sore.   I kept the blindfold on her as Mike ordered, but it was soaked from the shower.  When I dried her off I tried my best to dry the blindfold without removing it.  I was tempted to take it off and wring it out, but Mike told me to leave it on and I didn’t want to deviate from his instructions.   Having that wet thing pressed against her face was just one more discomfort she would have endure.  All clean!   I instructed her to get over my knee and we would wait for Mike.

I kept waiting for Kayla to say something.  I was impressed and amazed that Kayla never said a word. She was told not to speak until Mike spoke to her, and she was obeying without fail.  She was not teary eyed and was very calm.  Her vibe actually made me feel a bit better as it gave me a sense that she was enjoying this.  Not sure why I sensed that.  She wasn’t smiling or seemed very expressive in any way.  Perhaps it was hard to read her feelings because the blindfold covered her eyes, but I still picked up a stoic and calm demeanor from her.

SPANKINGS. . . and more!
Mike entered the room and immediately told me to start spanking Kayla with my hand and not stop until ordered.  I began spanking her and several times Mike told me to spank harder or faster, so I did.  Kayla was now much more animated, flailing a bit.  Mike told her that every time her hand reached back to block mine or she tried to rub her ass, he would add another five minutes to the spanking.  I did my best to spread the whacks around.  My hand and arm was growing tired and finally Mike told me to stop after what seemed like around ten minutes.  At the pace I was spanking her, that was probably 600+ spankings.  Her ass was a bright cherry red. 

She couldn’t have received that spanking six weeks ago with J in the house.  This type of spanking used to require one of us to take her over to John and Donna’s (they have been very accommodating).  Kayla is a crier, and while she still almost always cries when spanked, she has become a bit more muted and muffled with her noises.  Still lots of tears, but not as much wailing.

Mike then handed me a bottle of lube and told me to finger Kayla’s ass, something I never did before.  Mike positioned her over my knee so that her ass was more squarely in my lap and she had to prop her arms on the floor to maintain her balance.  As gently and with as much lube as possible, I did as I was told.

My mind was thinking about how there has been an increasing amount of incorporating sexual type acts into punishments, something that used to be separate for us.   While some of this was just a slow and natural progression of my DD, I recognized that this particular act was directly due to Kayla’s past requests to be more dominated.  

Even though I was using quite a bit of lube, I could tell her pussy was very wet.  I saw that as another sign that she was enjoying this to some degree.  At some point Mike walked over and told me not to stop.  He pulled his pants down and his cock out, walked around, and lifted Kayla a bit by the shoulders so her head was better positioned to reach his cock.  He told me to keep fingering and get “that ass ready for me” as Kayla sucked away on Mike. 

He soon dropped Kayla back down so she was once again had her arms extended, hands on the floor, to keep herself propped over my knees.  Mike walked to the other side of her and told me to spread her ass.  I’ve been present when Mike and Kayla had anal sex, but not from this vantage point.  Mike entered inside her and while a tight fit, it went in fairly easy. 

I thoroughly enjoyed my vantage point.  I could feel Kayla’s heartbeat through my thighs,.  She was also making soft, pleasurable groans.  And I could see that Mike was enjoying it.  I had this close up view of watching his cock go in and out of her ass.  I actually forgot we were even in a punishment session.  It wasn’t long before Mike came inside her butt. 

He then told both of us to stand.  He embraced us and said that this concluded the punishment “for now.”  He wanted us to have a good nights rest and tomorrow there would be a second part to this punishment.

 Although it was not a night that Kayla was scheduled to sleep in our bed, Mike told her she would sleep with us tonight.  He said there would not be any sex, just loving cuddling.   I believe he knew that after Kayla endured the intensity of the last several hours, it would be rough on her if he just said, “Goodnight, now get to your bedroom.”  That just wouldn’t be proper aftercare!

He removed the damp blindfold and told her she would need to find another one (we have several) to wear to bed.  He wanted her to wake up in darkness and keep the blindfold on in the morning until he told her to remove it.  We all embraced and lovingly kissed each other for several minutes.  We then resumed our evening routines and soon it was bedtime and that was that. 

Unlike a normal Rewards Ceremony, Mike never asked Kayla or me to state what the transgression was.  And he never asked about what happened in the day that caused me to spank Kayla.  I was still in the dark as to what he knew or what was said between he and Kayla.   I was assuming the punishment she got was due to the cussing, but was a bit confused since it didn’t conform to what I expected.  Mike didn’t punish me or scold me in any way, so what was this all about?  I felt like reminding him that he said that there was something we were going to discuss, so, what was it?  However, I didn’t want to ruin the moment and he clearly was content with the state of things at the moment.  I didn’t see any reason to potentially disrupt that.

I would just have to wait until morning to find out what else he had planned.

NEXT:  119. The Stick of Truth, Part III.  

 

 

               

 

 

  

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

117. The Stick of Truth, Part I (A Discipline Trilogy)

This event occurred two weeks ago, but I needed some time to better reflect and reconcile this before I was comfortable posting about it.  I want to share a lot of the details, so will need to break this up into more than one post.  

Last week, before their Orlando trip, on a day when Mike was at work I overheard Kayla talking to a friend on her phone and she let several expletives fly.  Cussing is not allowed, and something we addressed with Kayla before (Post 102.Sharing Salacious Spanking Stories and Post 105. Potty Mouth).

I gestured to Kayla that she needed to get off the phone and she mouthed “Yes M’am” and told her friend goodbye.  I immediately recalled Mike’s instructions to me if she were to cuss again and he was not home.  I was to repeat the punishment he gave her, and then he would administer another when he got home.

We were both already naked, as we are apt to be on a school day, so I had her immediately bend over and I spanked her several times by hand.  I then recalled that Mike spanked her with his belt, and since he asked me to repeat his punishment, I felt that the belt was necessary to be compliant with his orders.  So, I stopped and told her to go get one of his belts and return to me.  She soon returned.  I don’t know how many Mike actually was expecting, but I thought 20 was about right, so that’s what I gave her.

I then had her follow me to the bathroom and did a soap punishment akin to what Mike did previously.  I then talked to her about what Mike had said the last time she cussed.  He said that the next time she cussed he wouldn’t just have her rinse with water.  He said that if she had a potty mouth, he would treat it as a potty, which clearly meant piss, although he didn’t use that word.   I mentioned before that this wouldn’t violate any hard limits Kayla has (or that I have), but I really have a hard time with being part of that kind of punishment. For me it crosses a line from submissive to humiliation.  I talked to Kayla about it and while she had reservations, she said she was prepared for whatever Mike had in mind.  I did not share the same thoughts.

LET ME TELL MIKE
I told her I was tempted to not tell Mike and just let this go.  She was quick to remind me we both were punished before for “conspiring” to break a rule (109.  The Tuck. The Spank. The Slumber) and keeping this from him would be a major no-no.  I told her I just don’t want to be part of whatever Mike has in mind if he follows through with what he said – and I was certain he would follow through.   

I told her I didn’t like the idea of keeping it from him, but I disliked what was in store for her more.  She tried to reassure me that she could handle it and wouldn’t feel humiliated. She said she feels she is Mike’s, and will do whatever he commands, short of her hard limits.  Her hard limits are simply no scat, no blood, and nothing that she feels could cause scaring or injury.  I know Kayla is up for just about anything, and it seems so dumb of me to object, but I couldn’t help what I was feeling.

TO DRINK, OR NOT TO DRINK?
I suggested we read up on the topic.  I laughed when I came across a biblical reference that some use to support the practice of drinking urine.  Proverbs 5:15 says “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”  While I would interpret that passage differently, it is no more a stretch to read more into that passage than how many people creatively interpret other passages to justify their actions.  Biblical or not, apparently urine is 95% water and has no medicinal value nor health effects- but I am not so sure how thorough this has actually been studied.  And what Mike was inferring was simply rinsing — but still — for whatever reason, I object.

I shared with Kayla that I was also concerned with her ever escalating submission.  We talk frequently about this and she reminded me that in her mind her submission is not “ever escalating.” In her mind it is Mike’s dominance, and somewhat mine, that is needing to escalate to match her desires.  Thus far I do feel confident that Kayla is not taking on anything she can’t handle, and everything to date has seemed to help her and she is happy, energized, and fulfilled.  I just don’t want that to change or want to move too fast.  She is not even two months into this lifestyle. 

She reassured me that she could handle this and that she would not hesitate to use her safe word to put a stop to any action she was concerned with.  She was very firm in her conviction.  She said she truly accepts her complete surrender to Mike and in her words, “Negotiations ended with the contract.”  Whether she liked the idea of this particular punishment or not, she finds it abhorrent to not obey.  I have to give her credit for her commitment and submissive mind set as these were the strongest words she has used thus far to explain her mind set.  None-the-less, I still asked her not to say anything to Mike as I wanted an opportunity to talk to him first.

It was normal that when Mike got home from work that one of us, usually me, would follow him to the room and talk with him while he changed.  I often use that time to tell Mike about events of the day including any punishments that Kayla earned that day.   Just in case I was in the middle of something and it was going to be Kayla that walked with him to the room, I asked her to not to bring up the cussing incident and let me talk to him about it later.  Well, sure enough, when Mike came home I was helping J with something in his room and Mike had already asked Kayla to follow him.

KAYLA SPILLS THE BEANS
Kayla tried to accommodate my request, but just couldn’t keep it from Mike.  I wasn’t there, but this is how it was explained to me.  It started off with Kayla telling Mike that there was an “event” that occurred where I had to punish her but that I wanted to talk to him about it first.

In hindsight I agree that was appropriate for Kayla to say.  She wasn’t trying to keep anything from Mike and was just letting him know that I preferred to talk to him about it first.  Mike could have simply told Kayla to spill the beans, or simply said fine, he would talk to me.  But, no self respecting Dom would do that.  No, Mike saw the opportunity to make a point with Kayla.  

He asked Kayla why she thought he should talk to me first.  Kayla said that I wanted to discuss the punishment I gave her so that anything he added to it would recognize what she already received.

He asked her what she did.  Kayla said, “Ma’am wanted to be the one to tell you, Sir, but since you asked, I will still tell you if you still want me to.”  She was trying to meet her commitments to Mike while not disregarding what I asked her.

Noticing that Kayla was uneasy, Mike decided to escalate her uneasiness and asked her what she thought about my request.  Kayla admitted that she did not like it and added, “I want to tell you everything and will tell you everything but Ma’am asked me to allow her to be the one to speak with you first so I agreed.  Of course, now that you know her request, it is up to you and I will tell you everything if you wish.”

Mike continued with his questions.  “How do you think Jen would feel if you just told me all about it?”  Kayla said, “I think she would be disappointed because she thinks it would be better for everyone if she gets to explain things, but, I also know she would understand that I needed to answer you.”

Mike then asked, So, Kayla, do you think it would be better for everyone to have her explain it to me first?”

Kayla: “No, Sir, it would not be better for everyone.” 
Mike:  “Would it be better for you?”
Kayla:  “No, Sir, it would not be better for me.”
Mike: “Would it be better for me?”
Kayla: “No, Sir, it would not be better for you.”
Mike: “Would it be better for Jen?”
Kayla: “Yes, Sir, it would be better for Jen as that is what she wants.”

Mike continued, “Do you believe that in order for me to trust you that you should tell me everything, without filters from Jen or anyone else?”

“Yes, Sir, I should tell you everything.” she replied.

“Do you believe you are fulfilling your commitments to me by withholding something simply because Jen asked you?”

“No, Sir, I am not fulfilling my commitments when I withhold something from you, no matter what the reason.” Her lips began to tremble as she felt she was stuck and let Mike down and was also letting me down. 

Mike recapped, “So Kayla, you would risk my losing trust in you by withholding something from me simply because Jen asked.  Even though you felt it would not be better for everyone, you still agreed to have Jen tell me instead of you?”

Kayla said, “Sir, I didn’t agree to withhold anything.  I simply agreed to allow her to be the one to talk to you first, and I said now that you know what Ma’am wanted, it is clearly still up to you and I will gladly tell you if you just ask.”

Mike responded, “You didn’t answer my question.  It is a yes or no question.  Would you risk losing my trust by withholding something from me, yes, or no?”

“No sir, I would not risk that,” she replied. 

Mike then added, “So not only did you risk that, but you also went against your own judgement that this was not better for everyone.   Is it that your commitment to tell me everything is unimportant to you?” 

“No, Sir, all my commitments are very important to me, especially that one.”
.
Mike then asked, “And what again does that particular commitment say about what you are to share with me?

Kayla quickly answered, “Sir, I am to share everything, my day, my thoughts, my doubts, my desires.”

“Does it say that you only share them if I ask you?”

“No Sir, I share them without asking,” she again quickly answered. 

“Then do you agree you failed in your commitment by waiting for me to ask you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir, what?”

“Yes, Sir, I failed in my commitment to you”

Mike ordered her to undress, go to her room, and stand in the corner and he would be in there when he finished changing.   He soon came into her room and had her bend over. He lubed up and inserted an anal plug, then he attached the “three clamps.”  This is a clamp for each nipple and one for the clit, connected by a chain.  He told her to lay on her bed and he cuffed her wrists to the bedpost above her head.  He also put the ball gag and a blindfold on her.  He gave the chain a few tugs and said he would return after he had his dinner.  Mike never asked her anything about what earned her punishment or why I asked to to be the one to talk to him first.  

Mike came to dinner and said Kayla wasn’t feeling well and was resting in her room.  I could tell there was more to it and that this explanation was for J’s sake. 

More on my next post!

NEXT:  The Stick of Truth, Part II

.

116. Revealing DD to my sisters!

With Mike and Kayla in Orlando (last week) my cover story for Kayla’s absence was that she was spending a weekend with friends.  That Saturday afternoon I left J with his cousins and uncle and my sister’s and I went out for lunch.  I figured that was as good as time as any to “come out” about my DD lifestyle. 

Before I share the details of what happened, know there was a lot more questions and answers than I cover here.  I needed to condense their reaction and questions to keep the post from getting too long while still capturing the essence of what went on. 

THE REVEAL
I started by mentioning that they had both previously told me some time ago that they noticed a difference in Mike and I. They described it as a “zest,” as if we seemed to have an extra spring in our steps.  They sensed greater joy and contentment.  At the time I told them that I attributed this to just a maturing in our relationship.  Two kids basically out of the house and doing well, our finances in order, Mike’s job going well with a great flexible schedule allowing him to frequently work from home, and most importantly things going well with J.  While he is far from independent, his physical needs have lessened as he is stronger and more agile than ever before.  Add to that his anxiety and obsessiveness has lessened, reducing stress for everyone.  In reminding them of this I stated that my explanation at the time was true, but incomplete.  I left out one more ingredient to our mid-life peace and joy.  

I said, “Well, there is one more thing to which I can attribute the things you’ve noticed.  Almost two years ago I made a choice to be a submissive wife and give Mike authority over many things.”

They both had this sort of crooked half-smile peeking through tightened lips with a scrunched face, as if you are trying to get your lips, nose, and eyebrows to touch.

Sis 1 said, “What in the world do you mean?”

I repeated myself and nonchalantly and added, “Yeah, you heard it right.”

Sis 2 was quick to say, “Submissive how?”   This reminded me so much of when the word “spanking” was uttered for the first time when introducing my idea of DD to Mike (Post 9. So…Like a Spanking?).  There it was, the BIG question!   I already had planned on an approach that would be like trying to peel an onion – I would reveal just one layer at a time versus just giving them a big bite of the onion. 

LAYER 1
“Well, I simply defer to him on pretty much every decision.  I still can share my thoughts, but often do not, and when I do, he can consider them or not, it’s his call.   And we set up clear communication rules that we both follow.  We share what is on our minds, but typically through a planned and constructive manner, such as a weekly meeting.  It’s these meetings were I can bring up issues during the week that bothered or me or that I want clarified.  Doing it this way, away from the heat of the moment, allows us to easily address those things but again, ultimately if Mike says ‘that’s the way it is’ then I accept it.  Fortunately, he rarely has to be so definitive or demanding.”

There was more discourse between my sister’s and I, mainly consisting of me assuring them this was my idea.  There was also the inevitable question, ”Why?”

LAYER 2
I tried not to focus too much on the “why” and instead focus more on the results, sharing with them much of the sentiments I shared on many posts, such as 26. Submission = Transparency = Love or 30. I Found My Thrill.  I reminded them that they witnessed the change in me and in my relationship with Mike.  I told them I couldn’t be happier.  I also was clear that I don’t advocate this for anyone.  My choice was not my commentary on what relationships or women’s roles should be.  I don’t believe in women being submissive – I do believe in ME being submissive.  I shared with them that I surprised myself with my initial interest in even trying this, and was surprised and relieved at Mike’s acceptance of it, and of course, have been thrilled with the results.  I told them that whatever the amount of shock and disbelief they have with this, it pales with the level of shock and disbelief I had with myself when it all started.   

LAYER 3
At some point Sis 2 brought up the Fifty Shades reference and said, “Are you submissive like that?”   My response was, “I don’t relate to that as analogous to what Mike and I have, because that relationship is way different, but, if you mean, does Mike spank me, well, the answer is yes.”

Now their faces contorted in the opposite direction.  Instead of “scrunch face” they had “stretch face.”  As if you are trying to push your eyebrows to the top of your head while also trying to touch you chin to your chest. 

Sis 2 was again quick to chime in.  “You don’t mean like spank you spank you.  You just mean like some spanking with sex?”

Again, as calmly and nonchalantly as possible I said, “No, I mean spank me as in punish me if I break a rule.”

Both of their heads exploded.  My sisters are dead.   Just kidding.  Their shocked reaction was the “No way!” type of shock, not the “Oh no!” type of shock.   They had these half smiles as they continued to ask questions.  I was a bit coy, and told them that they don’t need to know all the details.

LAYER 4
I told them the story of how this all came about, much like you can read about in Post 2. The Backstory and Post 3. The Search.  I shared with them the term “Domestic Discipline” and that while Mike has a lot of discretion, I created my rules and the structure for the punishments.  I then told them that Mike and I have even “played” with others.

I anticipated Sis 1 wasn’t going to like that and Sis 2 would be like, “tell me more” and that was pretty much the reaction I got.   Sis 1 was like, “That’s fine if it works for you, but I don’t want to know about it.”  Sis 2 was like, “Oh I gotta’ hear this, you can tell me more later.”   I told them there wasn’t more to tell. I just felt compelled to share this with them as we share so much together and being a submissive wife and being open to sexual exploration with Mike is an integral part of who I am and I don’t want to hide that from them.  I told them that my intent is not to share all the details, but for them to know that this is an important part of my life, so important that I felt they needed to know.   And now they do.

My sisters and I are loyal to the core.  We always strive to understand each other, thus lots of questions. We are never judgmental. Never uttering the “how could you!”  But we do help each other think through the pros and cons.  In this case, I’ve analyzed my choices to death, and have considered every angle, more than once. So there wasn’t anything they asked or said that gave me pause.   A lot of the questions were due to their preconceived notion of what “submissive” meant to them.  Eventually I believe I got them to understand what it means to me.    

LAYER 5
They had questions about how we kept this from our kids, especially J, and they rightfully were concerned about how the kids would react to this if they found out.  I jokingly said that Mike and I had a “mental health savings account” to set aside money to help them with their therapy if they found out.   In all seriousness, what kid wants to know anything about their parent’s kinks?   Yuck!!   I don’t think they would be the least bit interested in knowing anything about TTWD.   There is always a risk that they walk in on something or hear something.  We take a lot of precautions to prevent that but nothing is guaranteed.  While having children shouldn’t keep a couple from their kinks, you do have to be creative and cautious to keep it under wraps.   I didn’t give them details and just assured them we take proper precautions.

LAYER 6
Leave it to Sis 2, whose got the wilder imagination sex-wise, to connect the dots re Kayla.   She suddenly blurted, “Oh my god, what about Kayla!”   I slyly said, “Well, what do you think?”   Suffice to say it was another barrage of questions and answers.   Their biggest concern was her age and I echoed that. I reminded them that she is 22 and not 16, and that we have been very careful to allow her to set her own pace with things.  Ultimately, I was able to make it clear that her living with us involves more than just a place for her to live, and that she is mature, but young, adult who is able to make decisions for herself.  I reminded them that not only was I married at 22, but Sis 1 already had a three-year old when she was 22.  While we all agree that today we are much smarter about life than we were at 22, none of us regret the decisions we made at that age.  And even if, in hindsight, we can cite unwise decisions we made in our youth, there was nothing anyone could have told us at 22 that would have changed those decisions. 

Sis 2 said something about whether I am spanked in front of Kayla.  That’s when I said, “It happens, as well as her getting spanked in front of me.”   Yet another round of questions!   They hadn’t connected that the rules and punishments applied to her. 

So, my sisters know I live a DD lifestyle, sans many of the details.  They know that we have been with at least one other couple (I didn’t name John and Donna specifically as I didn’t think it fair to John and Donna for me to share this).  And they know that Kayla is a live in “girlfriend” as they framed it.  I didn’t feel it necessary to elaborate and explain that she means more to us than that label conveys.  I believe I gave them enough news to digest for now. 

Overall it went well, as well as I was expecting.  It felt good to share.  I felt even more committed and appreciative of my submission.  There is something about a verbal affirmation to others that invigorates and reassures oneself.  Much like this blog has done for me – but more so.  

Next: 117. The Stick of Truth, Part I 

 

 

 

115. My Abundant Life

I’ve realized that I prefer to blog about things that have happened several days ago and/or have reached some sort of conclusion versus blogging as events unfold or where the implications are uncertain.  I think I am just more eager to share something once I have reconciled it in my mind.  I guess that’s why I tend to be upbeat in my posts (or at least think I am).  With some exception, I tend not to post during times of indecisiveness or worry.  The result is I tend to write when I have good feelings about resolved situations and optimism about the future.  Not sure what that says about me, but, it’s a pattern I’ve noticed with myself.  This is defintely one of those posts!  

OPEN MARRIAGE?
Anyway, I thought I’d post about Kayla but in a different way than before.  More about what she has meant to me and my relationship with Mike.. You could call our marriage an “open marriage” but that label is not entirely accurate.  I would call it “situational openness.”  Thus far the only situations where we have swapped partners or had sex with others or threesomes has been with John and Donna, and with Kayla.  We are completely comfortable with that and plan to continue, but no plans to expand that – but also not adverse to it if the right situation came up.  

Whatever you call this openness, we are new to it.  It hasn’t been six months since our first “swinging” foray with John and Donna, and of course, the stuff with Kayla is just since the end of last year.  So while it is new to us, it also seems so natural and old hat to us.

NEW ENERGY!  Spankings as recreation?
Having Kayla living with us has injected a new energy into an already energetic household and relationship.  It’s like the thrill of a shiny new toy, and we all are serving as each others plaything in one way or another.  Not just sexual, although that is a big part of it, but even in just conversations about every day things and in sharing more about our ourselves and life experiences.  

Kayla has injected a greater playfulness than Mike and I have.  She likes to role play and set up scenes and roleplays for us.  Like a choreographer, she sets the music and lighting, and will pick out the toys.  Sometimes it is just us being us, but often she will give us a general idea as to the roles, from teacher/student, to doctor/patient, to master/slave, etc.  It is really fun and something I know Mike and I wouldn’t do on our own.  Not because we are adverse to it, but, it just isn’t something we do – but we do now – with Kayla!

The “scene” thing is entirely new to us.  Except for some “punishment” play with John and Donna, Mike and I have kept spankings and what not exclusive to punishments.  These scenes with Kayla are new in that spanking, flogging, etc., are all just in play.  A very different sensation.  I can’t explain it, because it may be the same intensity, or perhaps not, but the body reacts very differently.  It is more self-indulgent and more sensual.  

WE ALL ARE BARE DOWN THERE!
Another playful thing she did was to shave Mike’s pubes!  Mike never went bare down there and she was encouraging him to give it a try.  She finally just took it upon herself and hopped in the shower with him, scissors, razor, and shaving cream in hand, and he finally relented.  I think it makes him look a bit funny – not sure what it is – perhaps I am preconditioned to think of hair as masculine, and seeing him bare down there is emasculating.  I know that is just a personal bias, but it is how I reacted.  I never said anything and told Mike I was happy with whatever he decided regarding keeping it or not.  In my mind I was sure I would grow to like it and just needed to get used to it.  Mike kept it shaved for a little more than a week and just started to let it grow back.   

KAYLA’S SEX DRIVE
Kayla also has a pretty large sexual appetite.  She admits she has never had so much sex as she has had in the last month or so.  A day doesn’t go by that she isn’t involved in at least two or three acts, and she hasn’t slowed down.  She really loves to perform oral sex.  While she likes to perform it on me, she really loves to perform it on Mike.  I’ve “caught” her giving head on many occasions. Anytime there isn’t anyone else home, I can pretty much count on running into Kayla on her knees with Mike’s cock in her mouth.  I’ve even been awaken in the middle of the night from movement on the bed, only to roll over and see Kayla down in the sheets going at it.  I am perfectly fine with all of this.  I am not possessive of Mike when it comes to sex.  I get plenty of love and attention and sex from him and I am not threatened by him enjoying himself sexually without me.  I actually get a thrill from it. 

Last weekend Kayla had anal sex for the first time.  She enjoyed it.  She had been practically begging for it and Mike was putting her off, just to tease her.  Well, tease no more.  It was nice to watch someone, especially someone you love, experiencing something new for the first time.  It went well, and has been repeated several times.

MIKE AND KAYLA TAKE A ROAD TRIP
Today Mike and Kayla left for Orlando.  Mike has a business meeting and Kayla is tagging along.  Although he just has one meeting tomorrow and could return home tomorrow night, they are staying tomorrow night and Friday night.  They’ll be back Saturday.  I know it is weird and a bit hard to admit, but, I love this.  Much like Mike’s date night with Donna (shared in Post 90), I get a thrill from this.  I enjoy knowing Mike is having the time of his life, living a fantasy of being like a king.  I couldn’t be happier to allow him that experience.  

WHAT’S UP WITH JOHN AND DONNA? 
Oh, on the subject of Donna, Kayla joined us one time over to John and Donna’s.   Kayla hasn’t had sex with all of us — would 5 qualify as an orgy?  Anyway, while no sex, there is a “topless” rule at their house that Kayla adheres to, so me, Donna, and Kayla remain topless at all times – of course, often Donna and I are completely naked.  Kayla watched but didn’t participate.  She just wanted to get a sense of what all went on before deciding what she may be interested in doing.  Thus far she indicated she isn’t interested in sex with them, but would like to participate in the scenes.  She showed a particular interest in the bondage horse and other accoutrements they have.   I am certain on her next visit she will be trying out some of their toys and be more involved, perhaps as a spankee or other object of attention, excluding sex with John or Donna.    We shall see. 

THE CANE!
I mentioned in my last post that we got a cane. It is rattan with a crook, like you would imagine belongs in an old school house.   Kayla wanted it.  Both of us have since been spanked with it.  Gee, thanks Kayla!  I don’t like it.  I much more prefer the flat spanking implements (hand is still my favorite) than the sting of the cane.  However, I will say I enjoy watching it used on Kayla.  I admit the stripes it makes does something for me.  It’s a turn on.  Kayla likes it, and says she prefers it to the paddles.  The downside is she can’t take as many with the cane as she can with a paddle so the experience, while more intense for her, is shorter. 

CHORES GALORE!
Let’s see, what else?  I am just trying to give you a full download of the various things that Kayla has added to my DD household.  Oh, the chores!  It is great to have a second set of hands to help out, and Kayla takes her cleaning responsibilities as serious as I do.  In fact, she takes all her “acts of service” seriously.  She is highly organized, even more than I am and that is tough to do.  She gets a lot of fulfillment out of all the things she does every day.  Of course, with two of us it has meant that we run out of things to do. When that has happened, one of us, or Mike, will then come up with something new for us to add to our lists.  I must say my house has never sparkled so much!  My pantry, closet, drawers, garage, kitchen – you name it, looks a bit like an anal retentive s dream.  Make that wet dream, given we typically do all our housework in the nude!   

SPANKINGS GALORE!
I mentioned in my last post that Mike is becoming a bit of a hard ass.  I say that lovingly and is something I have said to him in loving jest.  Part because Kayla asked for greater rules and structure, and part because Mike is growing into a Dominant mind set.  He doesn’t just limit his greater dominance to dealing with Kayla.  I’ve been spanked for things I would never have thought I would be spanked for.  The hangers aren’t all facing the same way in the closet, something wasn’t ironed well enough,  or heaven forbid, I used something other than a loving tone in responding to him.   Oh my god – I love it!   Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I enjoy this.  I enjoy it, Mike enjoys it, and Kayla enjoys it.  While there is a lot of work that goes into all of this, it is packaged in a tremendous amount of love and play.  

LIFE GALORE!
No matter what the dynamics of a household or your life is, life happens.  That means there will be highs and lows along the way.  I know we have had them and will continue to have them, no different from your life or anyone else’s.   And don’t think I never have doubts.  There have been evenings I’ve laid in bed after an unfulfilling day, with my nipples sore from the clamps that were applied that day, my ass throbbing from a spanking, and my body just tired from the busy day and I’ve thought, “What am I doing?”  
Doubts don’t concern me.  In fact, I would be concerned if I never had them.  But each time I do I find it is simply an opportunity to reaffirm my confidence and love for the choices I have made.  

While almost two years into adopting DD, I still love it, have no regrets, and remain excited about each day.  I love life, every moment, every day!  I am living a life of abundance!

NEXT:  116.  Revealing DD to my Sisters

 

 

 

114. Resist! And remain Kinky!

The Stanford Prison Experiment is a well-known experiment in psychology circles regarding the effects that power has on people.  I’ve always kept the results of this experiment in mind as it pertains to Mike and our journey into domestic discipline.  These thoughts were further top of mind as we added the dominant/submissive relationship with Kayla.  Increasing these thoughts even further was that Showtime has been running a movie about the experiment.  Also, although unrelated to my dynamic, this study has been top of mind because I wonder how power impacts a self-serving egomaniac.  No, not Mike, but our U.S. President…I digress.

The conclusion is simple.  Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  So knowing this, how do we avoid the corrupting influence that power has, even when that power is given to someone you love and trust without question, and who reciprocates that same love and trust?  No, not our U.S. President, I am talking about Mike!

I believe the answer is that you don’t, and you can’t.  It will happen.  It is human nature.  But, what you can do is be aware of it.  It comes back to the age-old solution for any relationship, regardless if the dynamic is vanilla or otherwise – communication.   You have to communicate limits and react in the strongest terms possible if those limits are breached.  If they are disregarded, then you do the only thing you can do and take the power back.  You must RESIST and speak truth to power!   Yes, I am talking about both Mike as well as our president.  I digress yet again.

In both cases if limits are breached you don’t validate the behaviors of those you have given power.  You don’t accept anything they do.  You resist.  Of course, if it is a loved one, it typically resolves itself quickly and you move on.  In the case of our president, it will only resolve itself by doing everything you can to delay and deny any actions they undertake, vote out all who support him in the mid-terms in two years, and then vote out him and the other supporters two years after.   Okay, I really digress!

The challenge with a loving D/s relationship is that it is hard to recognize when limits have been crossed.  Yes, some things are blatant, but, we can become desensitized over time to ever escalating dominance.  You love the person, you know they have the best intentions, and so you can easily discount and disregard inappropriate behavior, especially if it isn’t directed at you.  Sure, Trump has come for the Muslims, come for the scientists, come for the LBGTQ community, come for the federal judges, come for the animals (yes, read about what he is has done regarding animal testing), come for free speech, come for some people’s clean air and water (but not mine), and has come for the disabled (both in education and for those trying to get social security disability benefits).  But none of those he has come for is me.   

Sure, Trump has attacked the arts, attacked the media, attacked anyone who openly questions him.   But — none of those things are me.  While every speech and every press conference by his minions are filled with blatant lies (oh wait, “alternative facts”) that a six-year-old can fact check in a second, his lies haven’t impacted me.

So, meh! 

I hope you get the sarcasm.   Oh, sorry, got off track…it’s Mike I want to talk about.

It’s an interesting thing to be a part of it.  I have seen Mike exert more dominance, a dominance I have asked for, invited in, nurtured, craved, and supported.  Until recently Mike was being a Dom that was careful to carry out his dominance in a way that I explicitly prescribed, with perhaps just the occasional unexpected action on his part.  When we took on this lifestyle, he clearly adjusted to the things I asked for.  At my urging I have encouraged him to exert himself in ways that suited his needs and desires and that I welcomed the opportunity to be the one adjusting to those needs and desires.   Well, he has done so.  I must be honest and say there are things he does that I don’t particularly like or enjoy.  However, I am being equally honest when I say I get an even bigger thrill from the things I don’t like or enjoy.  I know that sounds oxymoronic (is that word? Well, it is now).   It is simply about the joy and satisfaction I get from being submissive and to truly submit to him, I should be submitting more directly to his needs and desires, and not just the needs and desires I have chosen to address. 

What are some of the things I don’t enjoy?   I don’t like the cane (oh, that can be another story, but, Kayla wanted a cane so we ordered one, and I hate it. Much prefer a paddle, brush, or some other flat spanking implement!).  I don’t enjoy my pussy being flogged or whipped, I don’t enjoy being tied up as punishment, and I don’t enjoy certain sexual acts being part of punishments.  Previously, sex and punishments were separate things – and while still not the norm, they aren’t always mutually exclusive.  I also am a bit alarmed by his treatment of Kayla, although Kayla appears to be thriving and wanting more.  Now don’t feel bad on my behalf.  I know I could stop these acts, but I don’t want to.  I like the idea that I am doing things for Mike to satisfy his desires and I like that he is expressing his desires.   I like these things more than I dislike the acts, and as long as that remains the case, the acts remain within my acceptable limits.  But I do dread these acts! 

To get back to my main point – I have noticed Mike is acting differently, much more authoritarian and with less patience.  I have seen his demands as well as the spankings and non-spanking punishments increase in frequency and intensity, both on me and on Kayla.  We’ve talked openly about this and he admits he likes the feeling he gets from being dominant, but also admits there is a line between being a good dom and being an a-hole, and he hopes not to cross it, however, he ended that with, “Concern noted, but I am not changing anything and you always have safe words to stop any of my actions, so it is on you to communicate your limits, not on me to guess where they are.”   For a nanosecond my mind said, “Oh, what an a-hole response.”  But the tingly feel-good feeling that followed a nanosecond later overwhelmed that thought.  I really like it when Mike is forceful and unapologetic with his feelings.  Such is the way a submissive thinks!

 And to be fair, along with Mike’s increase in dominant behaviors has come an increase in appreciation towards me and towards Kayla.  Mike has given us several “spa days” and other pampering’s, he even hired a maid service for a day so we could fully relax without worry of falling behind on any of our chores.  Yes, I know that statement will make some of you gag – I certainly would have pre-DD.     Just remember, I chose this lifestyle and I take my duties very seriously, so it is a big deal that I didn’t have to worry about falling behind on any chores.  Even if Mike gave me a pass regarding any punishments, I like to stay on schedule and get certain things done on certain days, so the maid service was something I truly appreciated.

I do not feel that Mike has been corrupted by the power I have freely given to him (yet), but the findings of the Stanford Experiment remain in the back of my mind.  As for our so-called president, well, his corrupted mind began long before he got the power of a president (I would say “presidential power” but there is nothing presidential about him). I digress. 

Oh, I mentioned before that Mike was going on a business trip out-of-town and taking Kayla with him.  That is in a few days.  I’ll talk about that in another post!

Resist. . .and remain Kinky!

NEXT: 115. My Abundant Life

 

 

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113. Contemplation

Yes, I’ve been bad about posting.  I could name the usual “too busy” excuses but I find we make the time for what’s important, and to be honest, my blog has slipped on my priority list.

The enthusiasm I had to share my story has waned.  About nine or ten months ago my personal amazement along with my complete surprise with myself, my choices, and the results of those choices, all propelled me to share my story and continuing sharing as events unfolded.

Once I got the background of my story complete — all the way back on Post 13. Now What?, I mentioned that my goal was to share my approach to DD.   I also wrote that while I would share the occasional steamy details,  I didn’t intend to purposefully write erotically or for masturbation fodder.  I am happy if you found my writing to be either of those things – or both – but consider that a happy bonus!  It wasn’t my focus.

My life with Domestic Discipline has sort of evened out, hit a steady stride, or whatever you want to call it.  Simply put, it is just “my life” and not “my life with DD.”  This is a positive thing, as it means that my lifestyle is, well, normal!   Okay, at least normal for me.

My passion for living my lifestyle has not waned.  I am, however, less surprised or amazed by my antics.  And that lack of surprise and amazement makes it hard to blog.  I know there are many things that occur during the week that would continue to provide you with surprise, amazement, and shock, if not at least some general interest.  Add to that perhaps some sexual stimulation or at least fodder for your mind to wander to places you wouldn’t have thought to wonder otherwise.  Yes, sharing my life may do those things, but I have found I have a harder time identify those things, because it all seems so “normal” to me.

The things that aren’t normal have to do with Kayla which is why so many of my recent posts involve that relationship.  I could continue to share that stuff — it is very exciting, new, amazing, crazy, wild, titillating, you name it!   But, I feel that I am more sharing her story than mine.  Not that I don’t mind doing that, but I know she minds.  In her words, she is okay with being a “plot line” but she doesn’t want to be the main character.  If you read my many recent posts, she is definitely center stage!

So, I need to re-evaluate what I choose to share. More accurately, how I choose to share it. For instance, I was going to write about some fun things Kayla has come up with.  She is very adventurous and has staged some various “scenes” for us.  Mike and I never role played before, and it has been very fun.  But, I feel more compelled to share what I believe it means to Kayla, or what she experienced, more so than to share what it means to me and what I experienced.   In fairness to Kayla, I just can’t do that.  

I enjoy sharing, so will just have to figure out a way where I can both bring and received the same enthusiasm and excitement that I got from my first 100 or so posts.  I am sure it’ll come to me.  One thing I am anxious to share is how it goes with my “coming out” to my sisters.  Haven’t done it yet, but expect it soon.  

Anyway, sorry for the boring post.  I just needed to share what’s rattling around in my brain instead of what’s being slapped on my ass!   Although, that reminded me….. hummm, maybe next time. 

NEXT:  114.  Resist! And Remain Kinky!