Category Archives: 5. Sexcapades

Various fun and adventures (i.e. probably lots of sex), sans the spanking and discipline.

215. Super Bowl Sinday, er, Sunday

215

I wrote before about John and Mike’s Sunday ritual of watching football together.  This occurs mostly at John’s house because adult fun is often part of the ritual. (Post 69. Are you ready for some football?!?).     

Kayla and I don’t always make it over for Sunday football.  It depends on whether J is going to be home all day or not.  Regardless, Donna is always there to keep the guys “entertained.”  However the Super Bowl is another thing altogether.  J always spends the day with my sister and his cousins as he despises football (and sports in general, but that’s another story).   My point is, we are free on Super Bowl Sunday.  Back to that in a moment.

INVITING MICHAUD?
Early last week Kayla asked Mike if Michaud could join in on Football Sunday for this past Sunday (January 21).   In other words, she was asking us to include Michaud in what we like to call our “Circle of Trust,” (those in which we engage in sexual activity).  
This prompted a lot of conversation among all three of us.  Ultimately Mike said no, but agreed to be open to the idea.

We have made it a point for Kayla to keep her relationship with Michaud distinct and separate from her relationship with us.  Of course, how separate can it really be when Michaud is aware of her dynamic with us?   Still, that’s not the same as including him in our play. 

Kayla did not tell Michaud about this as she needs Mike’s permission first.  Our assumption is he will jump at the chance, but maybe not.  He is a different kind of guy and he just may not to see Kayla in her submissive state, both in general and sexually.  Assuming he is in, he has no idea what he is in for.

The sex we have at John and Donna’s is different from what we have at home in our bedroom.  Us women are very submissive, the sex is more play, and often extended play.  It can include scenes and BDSM related activities.  We are often explicitly told what to do.  Imagine how intense it would be for Michaud and in stark contrast to the Kayla he knows.

It surprised us that Kayla wants to show him this side of her.  It will alter his perceptions of her – and there is huge potential that it would be negative.  Kayla has to think about the impact this has to their day-today relationship.  It will not be possible to simply go back to being the Kayla that Michaud is used to today.  In her submissive state she looks to Mike for instruction and permission for everything. 

What would Michaud make of her being under Mike’s control?

Would he begin to think he should behave like Mike?

How does it impact Michaud if he were to ask something of her and she looks to Mike for permission?

Being unfamiliar with our protocol, what if he does something that requires Mike to tell Kayla to ignore what Michaud said or requires Mike to correct Michaud?

What if nothing negative occurs, then what?  What are Michaud’s new expectations regarding Kayla’s behavior towards him or in his future involvement with Mike and I?

What if Mike decides he doesn’t want him around in the future?  That would be crushing for Kayla and very awkward for the two of them going forward.

KAYLA PERSISTS
Despite this, Kayla still wants to do it.  She feels if it somehow leads to diminishing their relationship, then “let it diminish.”  While she loves being with him, she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship that can’t handle this side of her.  She feels she has kept it from him long enough.

She shared that the two of them have talked about having sex with others, such as a threesome together or without the other one being there.  She said it was those conversations that got her to believe it would be good to invite him over for football.

She said she accepts all the various possible outcomes, even the bad ones.  The “good” that she sees coming from this is that it shows all of herself to Michaud.   Yes, it will hurt if he rejects her, but she knows she will get over it and it will be for the best.  If he doesn’t reject her, then all the better.

SIXTH ATTENDEE?
Another wrinkle is that Mike already invited Matt over to watch the Super Bowl.  Thus, there will be three men and three women – adding Michaud means a fourth man, plus, two of them would be new to our group.  It may be too awkward or weird for everyone.  

Seeing your girlfriend have sex with another man and woman is a lot to take in.  Is it wise to start off with three other men, one of which is her Dom, and two other women?   

HUMAN PRETZEL
It isn’t lost on us that Kayla desires to have multiple men at one time (Post 141.).  While Mike previously stated he would not be pursuing that for her (Post 146), that was almost eight months ago.  Allowing Kayla to experience this was one of Mike’s motivations for inviting Matt over.

We talk so openly about sex it is normal for us to talk about physical logistics of sex with multiple men.  We talked about how different it is to go from two to three – where all three holes can be filled – which is part of her fantasy.   And now we would have a fourth!?!  What if she finds she doesn’t like three, let alone four?  While she is very sexually confident,  what if she finds reality isn’t matching the fantasy?  What if she is uncomfortable or feels humiliated?  It can become very emotional.  Would she want Michaud to see that? 

WHY SAY YES?
It is clear Kayla wants the experience.  That desire may be blinding her to the potential risks.  Or perhaps, not.  She seems to WANT to put her relationship with Michaud to this test.

Even though she won’t (can’t) admit it, it could be she doesn’t care if it sabotages the relationship.  Things you do to put a relationship at risk are often more of a subconscious thing.  You won’t realize you want out, but deep down something drives your behavior to get you out.   Not saying that is happening here, but, it is a possibility.

There is also an element to their relationship that has Mike and I concerned.  In some ways she looks at Michaud as a plaything.  Something to pass her time and experiment with.  Nothing wrong with that IF he understands that and is looking for the same out of her.  The point is, we just don’t know because we don’t know him. 

I’ve given Mike my feedback, which seems to be consistent with his thoughts on this, and I await his decision.

UPDATE:  Before finishing this post, Mike’s decision is in.   

The answer is, “No, but….let’s get to know Michaud better.”

He won’t be there for the game.  But we are going to invite him over to our house as a guest…no sex, no D/s, nothing like that.  Just a meet and greet, followed by more interactions with him, however many it takes for us to get a good read on him.  Getting into the “circle of trust” is a process.

He won’t be a full-fledged member of our Circle of Trust, but we can at least start the process for membership – ha!   

P.S. Submissive Rule Book Check
When Mike tells me to give him my input on this issue, I give it.  If he doesn’t seek it, I don’t and I accept his decision.  When required to give my opinion, I try to be as clear and concise as possible about the level of my convictions.  I may say, “I can go either way….” (and give him my pros and cons), or I may say, “I prefer…” or, “I strongly recommend…”  While my words are used to influence him, it is acceptable because by seeking my opinion, he has given me permission to try to influence him.

While not required, it also helps him in explaining his decision.  If he decides contrary to something I felt strongly about, he takes the time to provide me more explanation than he would if it were something I could go either way with.   This helps us to stay “calibrated” in our motivations and thoughts about a variety of everyday issues. You know, everyday issues like, “should we add a sixth person to our sex party?”

NEXT: 216. In Search of Spanking

214. Nicknames: Opening our Joy Box

 

214
Kids get a toy box, adults get a joy box!

I’ve shared some of  shopping sprees that filled our joy box (Post 43, Post 130).  I have  mentioned some of the nicknames we have given to select items of our growing pleasure chest.  Do you have pet names for your spanking implements and sex toys?

Here are some of ours, along with some comments and critique from Mike and I.  Most of these are part of our sex play and not discipline.   I think I mentioned before that since adopting DD, our sex play has become more adventuresome with the addition of various toys and accouterments.  

— THE ALWAYS PADDLE —
 Pretty straightforward of a nickname.  It’s a 12 inch oak paddle with holes, engraved with “Always with Love.”  Mike said he believes the physics behind it is that the holes reduce air resistance making it easier for the spanker to swing harder, or basically give a harder spanking without using more effort.   The holes also dissipate the force that is put on the paddle, so less vibration of the paddle may again benefit the spanker.  As for the spankee, in addition to a harder hit, the flesh can compress around the spots where the holes are, causing more pain as the flesh squeezes in and out of the hole in an instant – leaving nice round marks on the ass.  If any of that is incorrect or begs for elaboration, please comment!

Jen:  As someone who has been on the receiving end of the “Always,” I concur.  It can really sting.
Mike:  I actually don’t pull this one out very often.  I don’t like the sound it makes.  Let me rephrase, I love the sound it makes, I just love it less than the sound of other implements!   Perhaps the holes dissipate the sound too?   While spanking is primarily about discipline, the sounds add to the overall experience for both of us, especially me.  I like to hear a smack more than a thud, and the Always tends to sound more muted.       

— MISSISSIPPI —
I mentioned this one in the New Years Eve spanking (Post 201).  Its’ name comes from the fact it is a wide paddle (The Mississippi River is a wide river).   It is 18 inches long and four and half inches wide, thus covers a lot of surface area.  

Jen:  Whenever I see it or am told to fetch it, I know I am in for a sore bottom for at least the rest of the day, if not a couple of days.
Mike:  Jen has mentioned before she thinks the Mississippi will crack some day because it isn’t very thick.  Well, it’s walnut or maple, I forget which, but it is harder than oak so I think will prove to be durable, much to her chagrin. 

— BABIES —
Yeah, these are the nipple suckers.   However, as we have added a cupping system and an “extra-large” set of suckers, we’ve had to differentiate between the “little babies,” (our standard suckers), the “big babies,” (are extra large suckers), and the “greedy babies” (the cup).

Jen: This is an area where DD has integrated our sex life.  We often pull out the “babies” as part of sex play.  I love nipple play and having my breasts be a focus of our sex play.  I’ve never had a nipple-gasm, that is, orgasm just from nipple play, but it often brings me very close!
There are differences in how these are used in discipline vs sex.  Discipline
is applying clamps or clothespins right after a good suction and keeping them in place for some time and pushing the limits on what I can tolerate.  Suffice to say, I love it when our lovemaking starts with, “go get all the babies.”
Mike:  What can I add after that?  I am amazed at how pliable the breast and nipples are and how they can retain a new shape for a while before returning to normal.  We’ve never measured, but I bet Jen’s nipples get close to three inches long, maybe four, while in suction.  Is that TMI?   

— BEAST —
Just google “prison strap.”  However, ours is rubber, not leather.  At 32 inches long it looks intimidating and it is to be feared (I say that jokingly – I don’t fear it, but I don’t like it!).   
Jen:  I don’t know if a leather strap would be more or less intense than rubber.  Anyone have experience with that?  Regardless, I am sure it mostly has to do with how hard the spanking is.  Whatever – this strap quickly delivers heat to my bottom. What I hate the most is that because it is so long, sometimes a strike will wrap around and get my hip – that’s a “Thwack” you don’t want to get too many of.
Mike:  Ha. I was just going to say that the difference in rubber versus leather is sound.  The rubber is more of a thump than a whack, but Jen’s right, when it wraps around and gets her hip, it is mixture.  “Thwack” is the perfect word.
The Beast covers a large area and leaves a mark quickly and with less effort.  Again, while discipline is the primary focus, you can’t ignore sights and sounds.  It delivers on great sights (red bottom), great sounds (both from the sound of the contact and the sounds it elicits from Jen and Kayla), and does so very quickly.
I imagine if someone really let loose with it there could be serious damage.  Striking very hard and just catching the tip of the strap on the ass — watch out!  I believe the physics behind it is that because it is so long, the tip is traveling at a very high rate of speed.  You want to make sure most of the straps surface is making contact with the butt, else you can cause serious injury.   We have never had a mishap, but the potential is there if not used with care.  

— KING —
It’s a seven-inch dildo whose nickname comes from the name the manufacturer gave it, the King Cock.  We just call it “the King.”
Jen:  This has always been exclusively a sex toy, not used in discipline.  This was my first dildo and I use it more than I thought I would.  It’s great when we need an extra cock to simulate DP.  I am sure some of you out there are like, “7 inch? That’s no king.”  Well, what can I say?  Seven is plenty for me.
Mike:  It’s a good change of pace from a vibrator and I enjoy using it on her or just watching her use it on herself.  

— HEISENBERG —
This is the Wartenberg pinwheel.  When we got it, Mike called it the Heisenberg because he couldn’t remember the correct name, and the name just stuck.  Nice Breaking Bad reference!
Jen:  Oooo, love this one.  This was another one I was unsure of until we actually used it.  It goes great when used along with the Babies!
Mike:  Yeah, this is a great mixed-used implement – good for both discipline and play, although I haven’t used it for discipline often.  Humm, note to self!  

— OH DIOS MIO —
The Violet Wand, my most expensive toy that is worth every penny.  You can find cheaper ones, but I was not disappointing with what I spent (I think it was like $150-$175). 
Jen:  This nickname came from the first time we used it.  I got a good zap somewhere and blurted it out.  I am not hispanic, it’s not a family saying, it’s just what came out.  I am pretty sure it was in the back of my mind from an SNL Skit.   This toys is great.  We played with it a lot when we first got it but it has been neglected lately.  Time to dust it off.
Mike:  Yeah, definitely needs to be part of the regular rotation and I have no idea why I haven’t pulled this one out for discipline.  Another note to self!   As for sex play, I think it’s one of those things that you don’t just want to get out and use for a few minutes.  It is best when you have time for a good extended love making session.  There are so many ways to use it.  The best resource on the ins and outs of the wand is at violetwand.com.

— BILLY MAYS —
The enema!  Yeah, I feel bad for Billy Mays fans to use his name as a nickname for the cleansing system.  That was Mike’s idea, simply because is cleans! 
Jen:  Yeah, not my favorite for discipline, but Kayla and I have used it on our own just to be nice and clean for Mike or each other.  A quick “squirt” or two can help eliminate worry of an anal sex mishap.  As for discipline, taking a lot in definitely creates a lot of discomfort.  I’ve at least gotten over the embarrassment of  expelling.  
Mike:  This can be a bit time-consuming thus not ideal for most punishment situations. Got to clean and rinse things afterwards.  I need to get one of those bulbs that you can just quickly fill and release.  I may have gone overboard with the system I purchased. Live and learn!   

— MEGATRON —
This is the name for the assorted bondage gear that Kayla picked out.  It includes chrome collar, bracelets, shackles, and wrist and ankle spreader bar. 
Jen:  These have never been used on me, this is Kayla’s deal.
Mike:  Great for punishment, and great for sex,  ’nuff said

— EL GUAPO —
For pure pleasure, not discipline — the penis pump and cock ring
Jen:  This nickname came from Kayla.  The first time we used it on Mike she jokingly said “Muy guapo,”  Spanish for very handsome!  Mike mentioned being surprised by how stretchy my nipples are, well, I was surprised by how rock hard his cock gets from using these two things together.
Mike:   Yeah, a normal erection is one thing, but these devices can help deliver a  “morning wood” hardness.  I wanted to call it the Steel Eel but relented.  El Guapo it is.  

Next:  215.  Super Bowl Sinday, er Sunday

199. An Open Marriage!?

199

It’s about time for another general musing post, this time addressing my feelings about sex with Matt.  

Ultimately, yes, we have an open marriage.  Like any kink, when it comes to labels – what things are, what they mean, and how they make you feel – are going to be different for every person and couple.   I don’t think of our marriage as “open,” but it sure isn’t closed!  HA!  I like to think of it as being open to “possibilities” versus just wide open for all to come and go.   

IS IT CHEATING WITH PERMISSION?
No, that is not an accurate representation.  There is no cheating as we are always playing by the rules of behavior that Mike and I have established for ourselves.  It is only cheating if you break the rules. 

IS IT ALL ABOUT SEX?
No, it isn’t.  It’s about lots and lots of communication, trust, checking in with your own personal boundaries, and about having a great deal of confidence.  Confidence in yourself to ask for and enjoy sexual activities that are of interest to you – and – confidence in your relationship to allow the other person to ask for and enjoy sexual activities that are of interest to them.   Mike and I have great communication, clear definition of boundaries, high self-confidence, and high confidence in our relationship.  This leaves little room for accidentally crushing someone’s feelings or inciting jealousy. 

I’ve found that our sexual exploration with others has added to my sex life with Mike.  Being open creates opportunities to be exposed to new things that we may choose to incorporate in our relationship.   We can also explore sexual relationships or activities that involve both of us, such as threesomes, foursomes, or role-playing that require more than just the two of us.  I have desired and experienced things I never even gave thought to before DD.  And I have experienced things that I previously hid away in my head as pure fantasy.  

BOUNDARIES
Mike and I have boundaries, but there are no specific prohibited acts.  The boundary is simply that we have to both be aware of what the other is doing and be willing to talk about specifics if the other wants to know.   In other words, no secrets.  

This has been easy because most of our sex with others has been in the presence of each other.  The few times it hasn’t, we talk about it.   We talk about it because we are always interested in learning about what and why they liked or disliked what they did.  And we talk about it with a degree of indifference and nonchalance that you would think we were talking about some television show one of us saw without the other.  We don’t want to hear about every line in the show, but we want to know if it was enjoyable.  That, and, well, whether or not there were one or more orgasms and what orifice did they come in.   Yeah, exactly something you’d want to know about a show they saw without you.  HA!! 

I do have some additional “rules” that Mike doesn’t have.  Namely I can only be with others with his specific approval.  Contrast this with Mike who  is free to be with anyone at anytime, just so long as he tells me about it.  He only has to tell me in advance if the time being spent with the other person takes away from time with me.  For instance, if he were to go out while I was at home and he wanted to have sex with someone.  But, if say he was on a business trip and had the opportunity for sex, he can simply tell me about it later.  By the way, I came up with that rule, not Mike. 

Although we have these rules, we haven’t needed to implement them much.  But Mike and I have at least talked about it because we are aware that our relationship is such that these things could happen.  Neither of us are currently seeking sexual partners outside our current “circle of trust” but we aren’t adverse to it if the opportunity presents itself.   That current “circle of trust” includes Kayla, John, Donna, and at least for the moment, Matt.  

OTHER BENEFITS
Being open with sex means having more frank conversations.  Once sex lost all vestiges of taboo in our conversations, we both became comfortable admitting when we are or aren’t in the mood, and more comfortable talking about people we are attracted to and the things we enjoyed doing (or having done to us).  This led to learning new things about each other and made us closer. 

I was married to Mike for almost 25 years before I really understood what he liked the most about sex.  And the same is true for Mike fully understanding what I enjoyed most about sex.  How sad we went so long with “secrets” about what made us feel good. Why do people do that!?!?   We wouldn’t keep such secrets about anything else in life, so why keep them regarding sex? 

WHAT NEXT?
I don’t know.  It’s possible our “circle of trust” never grows further.  We both seem to prefer fewer, deeper relationships than many casual ones.  We haven’t really put ourselves in a position to have opportunities for more sexual partners.   We did “flirt” a bit with some FetLife functions and of course there was “the party.”  While they were fun, we just didn’t connect with the people with met.  

Mike and I share our sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies with each other.  When we got into DD we made this a priority, and honestly, it was very difficult and took time to fully evolve to where we share everything.  Here’s an excerpt from that post: 

Sit down with your partner and have a discussion on the differences between sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies.  Then, if you are so bold, actually share your sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies.  

Once you get over the terror and embarrassment, it becomes some of the most amazing conversations you will ever have with your partner. 

REMAINING DESIRES? 
We define a sexual “fantasy” as something we actually don’t want to do (for now) or that may implausible or impossible.   Whereas, a sexual “desire” is something we aspire to experience.  Over time there are things that could move from the “fantasy” box to the “desire” box.

One such fantasy that made this move is my “stranger in the night” fantasy.  In it I have sex with some random stranger, man or woman, and never know who they are, not even a name.  This merged with a fantasy of Mike’s where he basically “pimps” me out (but obviously with no money being exchanged).   The experience with Matt  was close to this, but Matt isn’t a stranger.   In this merged fantasy Mike and I have talked about going out with the intent of seducing someone, man or woman, to have sex with me.  We could make this happen if we stayed engaged in FetLife activities, but both of us share the desire for this to be more organic.  That is, unexpected — not a kink event where such things are likely to occur, but just say a random encounter at a restaurant.

Even if we don’t ever fully act on this desire, sharing it and merging his desire with mine has provided some great titillation.   There are times we are out and one of us says to the other, “How about that one?”  And then we talk about how we would seduce them and what we would do.  Just talking about it gets us both all hot and bothered.  Perhaps some day will we actually try to make it happen.

FANTASIES?
One of Mike’s fantasies involves me as a “Center of Attention” with a lot of guys.  In his words, “like at least seven, if not ten.”   A hallmark of this fantasy is that it ends with me drenched in their cum.  Mike admits he likes the thought of it, but not actually wants me to do it.   Mike did ask me if it was something I would do.  I said yes, of course, but that didn’t change his views that this should stay a fantasy of his.   He sort of got an inkling of what it would actually be like and that was enough to convince him to keep it a fantasy.

Knowing that Mike had this fantasy, I had John come on my face.  When we were done, Mike was like, “Ew, please go wash up.”  He didn’t want to kiss me or get close to me, even after I scrubbed.  So yeah, the fantasy is almost always better than the reality because in the fantasy you don’t have to consider such things.

One of my fantasies includes Mike having sex with other men.  It’s something I know he isn’t into (I’ve asked!) and thus I leave it as a fantasy.  I wonder if this is common fantasy for women?  It really gets me off to think about sharing sucking a cock with him.  Did my stating that make you feel weird?  Well, that’s the thing about being completely open and honest with your partner.  You can say such things as if you simply asking if you wanted to share a piece of cake.  It’s no big deal if they say no.

Bottom line, both Mike and I feel 100% confident to ask for and enjoy anything sexually, whether with each other or someone else.

Next: Post 200.  Balloons and Submission?

198. Sex with Mike, I mean, with Matt

198

Ok, so those in this picture are way younger than we are, but hey, it’s a nice pic.

I wrote in my last post of Mike’s “request” that I have sex with his friend Matt.  I said “yes” without hesitation.  For starters, I have already agreed to perform any sexual act on anyone that Mike requests.  In addition, I love performing sexually for him, as well as for anyone as I have an exhibitionist side.  And it helps that Matt is attractive, and single.  As I stated before, the one caveat to my sexploration is that it never involve someone in a relationship unless their partner or spouse is away and condones such activities. 

Mike and I had our date night and went out for a nice dinner.  As planned we stopped by Matt’s to see his new place and for a night cap.  As we pulled up and before I got out of the car, Mike told me to take my panties off, and of course I complied. 

We went in and Mike and I were sitting on his couch, with Matt sitting in a nearby chair.  We were making small talk, asking him what “single” life felt like after twenty-something years of marriage.  I asked Matt if he was dating and he said no, not yet.  He said he hadn’t really been trying but only now feels ready to give it a shot.  Mike then made some comment like, “So, I guess you haven’t had sex in some time then.  That must be something new to get used to, right?” 

Matt just laughed and said something like, “Yeah, I guess so.”  

Mike then said, “Well, we have something somewhat new in our relationship.”  Mike went on to explain to journey into Domestic Discipline and our Dominant/submissive lifestyle.  Matt didn’t say much.  He was just wide-eyed and said, “Wow, really?” or, “Our you serious?” quiet a bit. 

 Mike then said, “In fact, I told her to take her panties off in the car just before we came in.  Honey, stand up and life up your skirt to show him.”

I immediately stood up and did as Mike told me.  Mike said, “So Matt, I guess that’s the first pussy you’ve seen in awhile, isn’t it?”

Matt had this half-laugh and shook his head from side to side and said, “I don’t know what to make of this, but, yeah, it’s been awhile.”  

Mike then told me to remove my skirt.  Mike stood up and walked over to another chair and sat down.  He told me to lay on the couch. 

“You know Matt, Jenny likes people to watch her masturbate.  Are you interested?”  To which he responded, “Um, sure Mike, if that’s okay with you two.”

It has been awhile since I did anything sexual in front of someone for the first time.  (Post 20  and Post 139).  Mike walked over to me and unbottoned my top and I sat up just enough so he could take it off.  He pushed my bra up and exposed by tits and then he sat back down.  

I continued to finger myself and play with my tits.  I removed my bra after asking Mike for permission to do so.  I was looking intently back and forth at Mike and Matt.  I love to make eye contact with whomever is watching me.  Mike had smile, and Matt’s look was priceless.  His eyes were as big as saucers and he had his bottom lipped curled under his top lip and he was slightly moving his head up and down as if to say, “yes, i really like this.”

“Would you like to fuck her?” Mike asked Matt.  

“Uh, what?  Like, right now?  Right here?” Matt stammered. 

“Sure,” Mike said nonchalantly,  “Right her, right  now.”

Matt was hesitant and asked Mike, “Do you have to watch?” 

I just kept masturbating as the two of them had a conversation about the logistics of Matt having sex with me.  Matt wanted reassurance from Mike that he was cool with it and that I was cool with it.  At one point Mike even asked me if I was okay with it to which I replied, “Absolutely.”   Matt’s last hangup was having it there with Mike watching, so Mike told him to go ahead and take me to his bedroom if that made him more comfortable.   It did, so Mike told me to follow Matt to his room. 

I was a little disappointing that Mike wasn’t going to be watching.   That’s part of the thrill.  Also, I was hoping Mike would join in at some point, but now that didn’t seem likely.  Oh well, can’t always have everything you want! 

Mike tossed me a condom as I followed Matt to his room.  When we got there he closed the door and again asked me if I was okay with this.  I told him not only was I okay but he could do me any way he wanted but I wanted to leave the door opened.  I said, “At least let Mike hear what’s going on.”  Matt complied and opened the door.

I kissed Matt as he and i both started unzipping and removing his pants.  I dropped my knees and pulled his underwear down and there it was!  Matt has a big penis.  I immediately began sucking him and he quickly grew fully erect.  I had never had a penis this size in my mouth (I later confirmed with Matt that it was 8.4 inches).  I know that isn’t like gargantuan porn-star huge, but  still, a personal record for me!   

For a moment I wondered if the condom would fit, but it did.  And once affixed I got on the bed and laid down on my back and he got on top of me and started fucking me.  I was a bit distracted as I was concentrating on the feeling I was getting, trying to determine if his big cock actually felt different.  It felt good, very good, but it didn’t really feel different.  I kept focusing on what I was feeling hoping to discern some different sensation.  I guess after all these years of fucking my vagina is loose enough to accept whatever sized dick without feeling any different.  Ha. 

I finally gave up trying to identify any different feelings and got back into just enjoying the sex.  At some point he flipped me around and entered me doggy style.  He then came, but I still had a ways to go.  He fingered me for awhile.  I asked him if Mike could join us.  He said he’d rather “finish me off” on his own.   Okay, who am I to complain about that? 

He went down on me and I orgasmed about five minutes later.  We laid there for awhile, and eventually he said, “Now what?” 

I said, “I dunno, I have never done this.”  I clarified that I have had sex with other people with Mike’s consent, but I never had it like this, in another room, with Mike waiting.  I told him if he was up for another round that I could call Mike in and they both could have me.  Matt said maybe later and let’s take this one step at a time.   I felt like saying, “Well, what we just did was a mega giant step, so what’s the big deal?”  But I kept myself from saying it as that would be rude and I realized Matt was still in a bit of shock over this. 

I reassured him this was all very okay and more than just okay, is something I enjoyed tremendously.  He got dressed and we walked out of the room together.  I was still naked as my clothes were still back in the living room.  I surprised Matt when I grabbed his hand and told him I wanted I wanted to hold his hand as we walked back to the living room. 

Mike said, “I assume you both enjoyed yourselves?”   I replied with a “Yes, Sir,” while Matt sheepishly said, “Yeah, you can say that again.”   

Matt sat down and Mike instructed me to kneel next to Matt.  Mike asked Matt what he thought about all this and Matt admitted he wasn’t sure what to think as he still isn’t sure what just happened.   Mike laughed and said, “Sex with my wife just happened.” 

Mike went on to reassure Matt that this was all okay, and that if Matt was okay with it, he could do it again sometime, even that night.  Mike told him that I really enjoyed two men at once so if he could join them next time it would be all the more pleasurable to me.  Matt said, “I’ve never done that, but sure, we could do that.”    

Mike said, “Why not now?”  Matt laughingly said, “No, I need more time to recoil.  And frankly, I am still in a bit of shock.  Let’s just relax a bit and see how it goes.”   

Mike agreed and the conversation slowly turned to just mundane talk of what other mutual friends are up to, current events, and stuff like that.   At some point Mike again asked Matt if he all three of us should go to his bedroom.  Matt said that we should just save that for next time to which Mike responded, “Look, watching Jenny masturbate and hearing you all in the bedroom has me horny, so if you aren’t ready to go again Matt, I sure am.  Jen, hon, come suck my dick.” 

I got up and went over to where Mike was sitting.  I pulled his pants and underwear down, and sucked him where he sat.  I kept at it until he came in my mouth.   He stood up, pulled up his pants, and said, “Thank you Jen, now get dressed as it is about time to go.”     

We stayed about another thirty minutes talking.  I wasn’t sure what Matt was making of all of this and whether he was really comfortable with everything that transpired.  But he made that clear as we were leaving as he said, “So, are you all free tomorrow night?”

Unfortunately we weren’t, but Mike added, “Matt, you are free to come by our house any evening.  Just let me know what works for you. Oh, and by the way, what are you doing Sunday.  Want to come to my buddies house and watch football?”    Oh my, now there will be Mike, John, and Matt watching the game.  Matt is in for one hell of a halftime!  

So what do I think of all of this?  Well, I share those ruminations on my next post (as well as what happened today during football).   Suffice to say, I really enjoy my sex life!!! 

NEXT: 199.  An Open Marriage!?

 

 

 

197. Do ya wanna have sex?

197

“Do you want to have sex with Matt?”

I almost replied with “Do you want me to have sex with Matt?”  Luckily I caught myself because answering a question with a question would likely be considered disobedient.  Mike especially dislikes a reply such as, “Whatever you want, Sir.”  He finds such responses to be disrespectful, as if he doesn’t know that I am willing to obey his wishes.  When he asks me a question, he wants me to accept it as stated and answer it accordingly.    

“It hadn’t crossed my mind before and with your endorsement I would definitely want to have sex with him.”   There, I think that was diplomatic in a submissive sort of way.

WHO’S MATT?
Matt is a long time friend of Mike’s.  They worked together for many years before Matt left to work at another company.  They often went on business trips together and were both involved in entertaining account reps, vendors, clients, etc.  They got to know each other very well both in and outside the office.  

They hadn’t been in frequent contact for a few years.  There was the occasional “how’s it going” and a few times they met up for lunch here and there.  They reconnected recently.  Matt is now divorced, just turned 50, and currently not in a relationship.

“Okay then, I’ll look for the opportunity to make that happen.”  And with that, the next day Mike tells me we will be going over to Matt’s place on our date night this weekend.   He then asked me if I had any reservations or questions.

I told him I have no reservations.  I said I was fully committed to being subject to his desires regarding anything he asks of me regarding sex, including sex with anyone he wishes either of us to have sex with.  While not in the contract, I have voiced that the only exception is that I do not want either of us having sex with someone who is in a relationship when both parties aren’t aware of the sex.   Mike agreed.  We don’t want to get tangled up in complicating someone’s relationship. 

QUESTIONS
I did have a couple of questions.  I asked him what prompted this?   He said it was nothing in particular.  The thought of sharing me excited him and he believes Matt is the perfect guy to do this with.  Mike has always enjoyed watching me, whether with John, Donna, Kayla, or by myself.  And of course, I love being watched by him.  And he rarely just watches – he almost always joins in. 

I asked him if he talked to Matt about this yet.  Was Matt even willing?  I imagine it would be awkward for him.  Mike said he has not talked to Matt, but is 100% certain he will be good with it.  Mike wants it to be a surprise, so at this point he just told Matt that he and I want to drop by after we have dinner to just see his new place and say hello.  Mike said that part of the excitement for him is in the unknown.  While he expects it to be positive, Matt will clearly have a moment of “What’s going on here?”   Mike simply told me to be prepared to follow his lead. 

Lastly, I asked Mike if he would ask the same thing of Kayla?   Mike said he hasn’t decided yet but assumes that at some point he will.   By the way, in many of Kayla’s and Mike’s talks about her relationship with Michaud, Kayla has reiterated that she does not want Mike treating her any differently than before.  She does not want Mike to consider Michaud’s feelings or concerns.  She asked Mike to remain focused only on what he feels is best for her as his submissive.   

Despite this, Mike did say that he would ask her more questions.  While she almost certainty would agree to this, Mike wants her to at least think more deeply about it.  Mike feels that it isn’t about him showing consideration for Michaud, but consideration for Kayla.  The “single Kayla” has thrived under the sexual adventures she has been on.  Would the “dating-Kayla” thrive as well?  Mike takes his role seriously and it isn’t just about his own sexual gratification, but about whether it provides any fulfillment to Kayla. 

MIKES DOM STYLE
This got me thinking more about Mike as a Dom.  I focus a lot on what submission means to me, but have only briefly touched on what Dominance means to Mike.  For him, being a Dom isn’t about “taking” from a submissive.  It is about “giving” what the submissive desires regarding their submissiveness.  It’s like I said before, I think for a submissive, it isn’t about simply finding a Dom, it is about finding the right Dom.  If the match isn’t a good one, instead of feeling fulfilled, the submissive may feel disregarded or demeaned.  

So, Matt is attractive, I enjoy his company, and have no qualms about having sex with him.  The exhibitionist in me is excited, but, I am also a bit nervous knowing he isn’t aware that I will be his for the taking.  How awkward is he rejects my advances!  Also, just exactly how does Mike propose we go about it?  All he would tell me is he has a plan that includes ever escalating innuendo and stages of my undress.   Humm…. can’t wait!

NEXT: 198. Sex with Mike, I mean, with Matt

184. This, That, and Sex, Sex, and more Sex

184

Several different topics I thought I’d update you on.

DISCIPLINE – JEN
I’ve been disciplined a few times recently (other than what I shared), but not worth writing about in detail.  Sorry.  I don’t intend to share every disciplinary action.   But I did want to share a few things in general that I felt were noteworthy.

Mike said he was going to pick up the intensity and he has delivered.  Ouch!   In hindsight I think he was right in that the level of discomfort I was getting might have been insufficient for them to serve as a consistent deterrent (as perhaps evidenced be the tea incident).  At the time I didn’t think they were insufficient, but given the intensity of what I received lately, I definitely feel extremely deterred to disobey.   My butt and breasts have been very red and even bruised from the couple of recent disciplining I received. 

SUBMISSIVE MINDSET
Other than a few mishaps, I am doing extremely well with my added duties and obligations.  I feel I have achieved the submissive mindset I was searching for.  Not that it is a final destination – I know I must work to maintain it and events in life can still threatened that mindset.  But, I really believe I consistently feel submissive and not just act submissive.  My thoughts are constantly on how I can better serve Mike and be a better wife, lover, and mother.  This “submissive mindset” is something I wrote about yearning for in Post 148. Dom/Sub Therapy Session.   

In my first two Thursday Maintenance Sessions I honestly had no “unsubmissive” thoughts to report.  My mind has been highly focused on Mike – his needs, his desires.  And while my attention has to be on other things at times, namely our son, my duties and obligations are always top of mind.  And it has been effortless.  Sort of a switch just went off and there it was, the focus I was looking for.   “Focus” is actually not a good word, because I don’t work at it. . . I don’t “focus” on it.  It just is.  It is just my mindset.

Even though I had nothing “unsubmissive” to report, I still receive the maintenance spankings and they have been whoppers.  Last Thursday I was a bit in knots in anticipation prior to the session as I knew what I was in for spanking-wise.  It is another one of those things that is hard to describe – the anxiety over what is to come becomes part of the pleasure once it does come.  Can’t explain it.  Must be a sub thing.  

DISCIPLINE – KAYLA
Things are all good between us.  The sex is frequent and fun, Mike’s D/s relationship with Kayla is going well.  Kayla feels very good about what she is getting from Mike.  I mentioned before their dynamic is a little different from Mike and I.  Even with the changes from our current Contract, Mike is much more strict and stern with her than he is with me.

It is uncommon, but not unheard of, for me to spank Kayla.  Typically I text Mike if she does something disobedient and await his instructions.  He might instruct me to discipline her on his behalf or he may indicate he will address it when he gets home.  When instructed to spank her, I also have to send him pictures of her butt to show him the results.  He may tell me to spank her more if what he sees is not to his liking. 

I don’t have a problem spanking her.  There was a time I found it interefered with my submissive mindset, but I’ve got past that.  I think I mentioned before that when I spank her, I really identify with and focus on her.  Her vulnerability, her submission, her shame.   To the extent I think about what I am doing, I think of it in the context of doing it for Mike because it is what he commanded.  All of this results in me being fine with spanking her and I can still maintain a submissive mindset. 

SEX – MIKE, JEN & KAYLA
Sex-wise, while Mike and I have plenty of sex, so do Kayla and Mike, especially oral.  Mike loves it, of course, but as I mentioned before, so does Kayla.  I’ve never known a woman who loves to suck cock as much as her.  I’ve also shared before that Kayla occasionally has an orgasm just over sucking Mike.  If J isn’t home, it is pretty typical for me to walk in with Kayla on her knees going at Mike, whether it be in the kitchen, while he sits and watches television, or is in his office working.

Most nights the three of us sleep together, but we still have designated “alone time” with Mike.  Kayla sleeps in her room and I get Mike alone, or I sleep in Kayla’s room and she gets Mike alone.  We don’t have set days for this anymore (Post 107).  It is just up to Mike to tell us what (or more accurately, “who”) he wants.

Mike choosing is a very casual thing.  He will simply tell me, “Jen, I want to sleep alone with Kayla tonight so you’ll sleep in her room tonight.”  And that is that.  I simply say “Yes, Sir.”  He does the same in telling Kayla when he wants to just sleep with me.  I am perfectly fine with this as I want him to have whomever he wants sexually.

There are times when we all sleep together where Mike will tell one of us to just masturbate and watch.  Other times he will tell us what he wants us all to be doing to each other.  And there are times he just let’s whatever happen, happen, no instructions.  Lastly, sometimes he will ask me or Kayla what we want.  

I am free to discuss any concerns I have about sex or anything else.  Such discussions are part of the purpose of our Sunday Maintenance Sessions.   It has been a long time since I shared concerns, questions, or asked Mike to clarify anything regarding sex.  Mike and I are fully “calibrated” on this topic – at least for now.   

SEX – JEN AND KAYLA
We probably have one-on-one sex with just the two of us about once a week.  Some weeks maybe a couple of times, or perhaps a full week without any times.  Just depends on schedules, what needs to be done around the house or with other errands, studying she needs to do, and of course, the all important mood.   Sometimes you just aren’t feeling it.

The most common situation for us to have sex lately is in the living room.  Chores all done, nothing to do but relax.  We are typically naked as is our house rule when J is at school.  She will cuddle up in my arms and we will watch something on t.v.   This may lead to some kissing, caressing, and before you know it — well, fingers and/or tongues are going in places.

SEX – JOHN AND DONNA
I haven’t written about them in a long time.  We still see them frequently, but perhaps a little less so.  Just busy schedules and other things always seem to be coming up.  Mike typically goes over to watch football on Sundays ((Post 69. Hot Dog…).  A few times I’ve gone with him, sometimes Kayla and not me, and sometimes neither of us.

There is still a “house” rule at John and Donna’s that Kayla and I must be topless once we enter (assuming no other guests are present).  And Donna is also topless.  There is usually some amount of “play” that goes on.  Oral sex or just plain old sex, in any combination of m/f, f/f, m/f/f, you can think of.  You just never know but it is always fun.  We haven’t had an evening out with them in many months, perhaps soon?  Neither Mike or John have had a business trip in a while and there’s been no sleep overs in awhile.    

A lot of this is due to there not being a lot of overt opportunities to get together.  I am sure the opportunities are there if we made an effort to make it happen.  But it is nice to be in this “effortless” space with them where, if it happens, it happens.  No expectations, no commitments.  Just great friends with whom we have some sexual fun with whenever the moment is ripe.  It also fits in with Mike’s demands that we slow down ((Post 146. Slow Down!).  While not intended to be aimed at John and Donna, Mike ordered that we don’t aggressively pursue more “relationships” such as via FetLife.  Our cups are full!  No need to over fill them.

Which is a great segue into my next post, because there is a new wrinkle in the “relationship” front.  While not totally unexpected, it poses some new concerns that we have to address.

NEXT: 185. Kayla’s Plus One

166. My favorite kinks

166

As I wrote in my last post, I spent quite a bit of time helping my sister move – just the two of us sorting and packing.  And if you’re new to my posts – my sister is aware of my DD lifestyle.  (Post 116).  Our relationship has always been such that we share TMI regarding our sex life, so it was normal for her to take this extended one-on-one time with me to ask more about my DD and details about my sex life.

In case your curious – my sister is straight-laced vanilla when it comes to sex.  The wildest thing she ever did in her life was when she was 19 she “let” another girl finger her and she reciprocated.  Oh, those college years!  She has been married 30 years, and claims to enjoy the three or four “go to” sexual positions her and her husband do.  She doesn’t own a single sex toy.  She is so deprived!

She asked me of all the sexual exploration and experiences since adopting Domestic Discipline (2.5 years ago), which things do I enjoy the most.  I immediately said, “Thanks sis, this should make a good topic to post about!” 

First off, I am reminded that everyone’s kink is weird and disgusting, except your own.  So yeah, think what you want, but even if you don’t find pleasure in the things I find pleasure in, you’re just as weird and disgusting in your own way.  Ha!

BEING WATCHED
Number two on my list is something I shared before (I’ll share #1 last).  I like to be watched.  (Post 20).   I’ve been able to occasionally scratch the exhibitionist itch (Post 38, Post 139 to mention a few).  Other than that it is more about being watched by one or more of Mike, Kayla, John, and Donna while I perform various sexual acts on either myself or on one of them.  While I enjoy anyone watching, I enjoy it the most when Mike is watching. 

I’LL TAKE A DOUBLE
The rest aren’t in any particular order, but what quickly came to mind when my sister asked me was that I enjoy double penetration – more specifically, having sex with John with me on top, while Mike is behind me entering me from (and in) the rear.  This satisfies my desire to have Mike watch, while also stimulating me in different ways.  I also prefer Mike to be the one behind me because he is more in tune with me and dp can be tricky — as in uncomfortable for me, if not a little painful — if the “guy in the back” is not paying attention.  

THE VOYEUR
I enjoy watching (and listening to) Kayla.  I love watching her have sex with Mike or anyone, but I really love to watch her masturbate.  She gets so lost in her pleasure — she is louder and more expressive than I am.  She almost always talks dirty, which is not unfamiliar to me personally, but she does it more and even does it when masturbating.

I know it sounds bad, but I enjoy watching her get spanked.  Not that I look forward to it, but it does turn me on.  I identify with her in that there is so much innocence and vulnerability on display that it stimulates that submissive in me.  And I love to watch Mike spank as it stimulates my need for him to be dominant.  Just thinking about this is enough to give me a tingle.  

BOOBS
The last thing that quickly came to mind as a top pick of sexual stimulation is something that I have a love/hate relationship with.  To be precise, it is “love/hate/loooove/hate/love/hate/more please/hate/please one more time/no, stop/yes, more please/hate/love” relationship.  That’s anything to do with punishments or rough play of my breasts – including the nipples. 

Clearly there is an intense dichotomy in how this makes me feel.  For instance, as soon as my nipples are clamped, I often quickly feel I can’t take another second of it, but if Mike removes them, I immediately want them back on.  I also like it when he slaps or even paddles or canes my breasts.  I’ve had a few of these punishments, (Post 61 and Post 133 were probably the most intense), but mostly when it comes to my breasts it has just been a clamp, a suction, or the tack bra.  Again, I can’t take much punishment as far as a wooden spoon or some other implement – I am quick with the safe word – but I find I am soon wishing I took more.  

Part of my love for this is that my breasts and nipples are so sensitive that the feeling lingers for a long time.  I actually like it when my nipples and breasts are a bit sore as it is a lingering reminder of my submissiveness.  I even get turned on when they are a little bruised – hey, can’t help it, it’s just the way I am wired.  I even like to see Kayla’s breasts marked with a bruise from a strike, or a hickey, or red from a binding.  Something about the “surrender” of the breast that intrigues me and stimulates me.  Yeah, I know, “weird and disgusting.”

CALIBRATION WITH MIKE
I hadn’t really thought of it until my sister asked me, but this did prompt me to share with Mike that I wouldn’t mind more breast related punishments.   Before you go questioning why would I do such a thing, or how can it be a punishment if I request it — keep this in mind — more than just hard limits, you have to communicate what is okay and what isn’t.  Doms and subs need to communicate to stay calibrated!

In having this discussion with Mike I learned that he purposely has kept certain breast punishments to a minimum because I seemed to always quickly go for the safe word.  He thought he was hurting me…well, I guess he was, but in a good way.   It is invaluable to be able to communicate that I am okay with a bit more intensity.  That doesn’t mean my “yellow” word doesn’t mean what it means.  He still has to pause.  But until I call “Mercy” (our “red” word), he can continue to resume whatever he was doing.

Regardless of their experience level, it is always helpful to give a Dom your validation that pressing the boundaries is okay because we have the safe word to fall back on.   Mike stated that if every punishment ended in “Mercy” that it would mean to him that he is doing something wrong.  This was an important breakthrough for us.  I praised him for how he has approached every punishment and reassured him I never think less of him the few times I’ve called for Mercy.  Not that I want to be brought to that point, but, I leave it completely up to him if that is what he thinks is appropriate for the situation. 

And just to reiterate this again — it is still a punishment and a deterrent, even if I get some joy out of it.  In the moment I don’t like any discipline, but frankly, it always gives me some level of satisfaction afterwards – some more than others.   No matter how physically uncomfortable they are, they all remind me that I am Mike’s, I serve him, I am his.  THAT ALWAYS turns me on and is my biggest, most favorite kink!  Again, “weird and disgusting, I know. . . but, so are your kinks!   

So, there you have it.  Some of my kinks that I love the most. 

NEXT:167. What is “Mine” versus What is “For Me.”