Category Archives: 5. Sexcapades

Various fun and adventures (i.e. probably lots of sex), sans the spanking and discipline.

269. Turn up the cuck – Whoring me out?

269

If you read my blog, you know that I have a sort of “boyfriend” in Matt.  He is Mike’s friend and former co-worker that we have known for years.  With Mike’s encouragement, Matt and I go out on dates and have sex – sometimes with Mike watching and sometimes with Mike participating.   Most recently, Mike was out of town on business and Matt stayed with me at my house for two nights.   And now Mike has “turned up the cuck.” 

EVOLVING RELATIONSHIP
My relationship with Matt has always been based on sex, but originally it was probably 50/50 on sex and friendship.  I enjoyed his company and friendship and yes, enjoyed a lot of sex.  But the relationship has evolved to be more and more sexual, maybe 90%.  Yes, I still like him as a person and enjoy his company, but we don’t do as many “friendship” things date-wise.  When we get together, it is mostly just for sex.   And that’s how Mike like’s it.  In fact, his latest edict puts us at more at 95% or even 100% sexual relationship. 

MIKE’S EDICT
Mike told me I am to be “on call” for Matt, anytime, unless Mike tells me to say no.  Simply put, I am Matt’s sex toy, ready on demand to pleasure him.  The result is that Matt has come by my house on his lunch hour for an “afternoon delight” and has twice called me to come over to his place for a quick “suck and fuck.” 

A few days ago Mike told me Matt was getting off work a little early and I was to be at his place waiting for him, naked, blindfolded, and kneeling (I have a key to his place).  Further, I was not to say a word.  I could only speak if Matt asked me something.  I complied.

Matt never said a word to me except, “You can go now.”   He entered his apartment and soon after I felt his penis on my lips.  After sucking his cock for a bit, he stood me up and fucked me against the wall, putting me back on my knees in time to cum in my mouth.  He then said I could leave and he left the room.  I never laid eyes on him.  I got dressed, and left.  

It was thrilling and exciting for me.  My thrill is in knowing Mike arranged and wanted this.  And it felt very dirty, in a naughty, taboo, exciting sort of way.   I do enjoy sex with Mike – it feels great!  But my greatest pleasure is not the orgasms, it is knowing that it gets Mike off.   And doing what I just did, knowing it was Mike’s wish — yummy!

HOW I FEEL
I feel a bit used, like a sex object, like I am not valued beyond my mouth and pussy.  But – mixed in with that, I feel excited, energized, and yes, fulfilled.   Such is the dichotomy of submission!  I am doing what Mike wants and serving to fulfill his fantasies.  It is a weird mix of emotions. 

Let’s not sugar coat it and call this what it is.  Yes, my submission has come to a point where my husband can whore me out if he wishes.  I am 100% okay with that.   I love fulfilling Mike’s fantasies of seeing me as sexual being, fully giving myself sexually to anything he requests.  I granted this power to Mike starting in October 2015, when we added the “Sexual Obedience” clause to our Agreement (a clause that remains a part of our current Agreement).  It reads in part:

  • Mike may demand any sexual or physical act to be performed upon or by Jennifer on him or any other person at any time and Jennifer shall comply without hesitation.  Jennifer may use the next Maintenance Session to air her concerns and request any modifications or cessation of a particular act that Mike demanded.  Mike shall comply with Jennifer’s request.  

Mike frequently asks me how I am feeling about this.  You probably think I shared all sorts of concerns with him.  I only shared one.  I am concerned that being at Matt’s call could impact my performance of my Duties and Obligations as it interferes with my schedule. 

Mike told me that I should consider Matt as simply another “chore” and it was a chore to be prioritized over others.  Mike also reminded me it wasn’t “my” schedule, as my time belongs to him (boy o’ boy he really tickled my submissive spot when he said that!).

Mike was admittedly surprised that my only concern was the demands on my (his) time. I reassured him that was the case and that I would let him know if my feelings change.  I shared with him that I want him to feel free in knowing it doesn’t have to be enough for him to simply know he has this power over me is  – he can feel free to actually exercise this power.   

Even though we have been living DD for over three years, and have really adopted a more D/s dynamic over the last two, sometimes I think it helps to reassure Mike that indeed I not just accept him Dominance, but I want it and encourage it.  And as far as the Sexual Obedience clause goes, I wanted to use this opportunity to reassure him he can explore whatever desires or fantasies he has.   

To which Mike replied, “Thank you for stating that.  Hearing you say that always helps me maintain confidence in my decisions.  And, it makes me that much more excited about our upcoming Immersion.”     

Oh my!   What does he have planned?

256. More Matt

256
THE LATEST WITH MATT

Mike and I talk about Matt with some frequency.  It is all about keeping in sync on our priorities and desires.  It’s been almost two months now since Matt and started our weekly date nights, plus we spent a weekend together at the coast.

Our dates consist of dinner followed up by some activity – we’ve done a comedy club, laser tag (I didn’t know those things were still around), and a painting class – so yeah, not just “dinner and a movie” although we’ve done that too.  And of course, sex!  In fact, we’ve sometimes skipped going out and just stayed in for lots of sex!

DATE NIGHTS WITH MATT
One night Matt took me to a strip club.  I had never been to one so was definitely curious, but also concerned.  The feminist in me still exists, and my concerns were about the young women being exploited.  This may irk some people for me to say, but, after my experience, frankly, I think it is the horny men that are being exploited.

Anyway, it was an interesting experience.  I actually asked Matt if we could repeat it.  I was very stand-offish and skeptical at first and didn’t really loosen up until the end after I had many conversations with the young women (costing Matt quite a few drinks to keep them interested in my boring questions).  I can see it could actually make for a fun and sexy date-night if I was more flirty and fun.  Next time!

That’s one of the reasons I enjoy myself with Matt — I can sort of be a different person and do things I wouldn’t normally feel comfortable doing.  I am not Jen-the-mom, Jen-the-wife, or Jen-the-anything.  I don’t seek to offend Matt and prefer he enjoy my presence, but frankly, I ultimately don’t care.  I can act out on impulse and be whomever I want for the night.  It serves as a nice break from my normal routine.  Hey – I heard that.  You just said, “Since when does ‘normal’ describe anything you do?

SLEEPOVERS
I am now spending the night at Matt’s on every other date-night, per Mike’s edict.  I’ve stayed with Matt three times now.  With J out of school, I think we will run out of excuses for where mom is in the morning.  Lots of early “doctor appointments” and “errands” lol.  On the off date-nights Matt and I come back to my place for sex.  Mike loves to watch.

We’ve talked about having Matt spend the night, but with J out of school, it will require some morning hi-jinks to keep Matt hidden.  And for now, T2 is home  — by the way, he graduated college and is leaving in a week to take a great job out-of-state. His girlfriend is moving with him.  Now back to our regular programming…

We will soon figure something out to make a Matt sleepover work because Mike is going to be out-of-town for work for several days in a few weeks.  Mike asked Matt to stay with me at our house and Matt agreed.  I accept it, but admit that it will feel weird.  I know it sounds dumb, but, having sex with Matt is one thing, having him sleep in “OUR” bed with Mike gone is another.  Funny, but I said to Mike, “I want Matt sleeping on my side of the bed and I will sleep on yours.”  Somehow that made me feel better.

SEX
I think I wrote a bit about this before, but sex with Matt is different from sex with Mike, and in a lot of ways mirrors the difference in the sex between Mike and Kayla.  With Matt, it is way more raw – more noisy, more sweaty, more raucous.   Mike and Kayla are a lot like that as well.

It isn’t that Mike and I can’t be those things together (sometimes we are), but, it just isn’t our preference.  I don’t know if it is 20+ years of vanilla sex that has conditioned us to prefer that from one another, or if we simply prefer our sex with each other to be more tender.  When we talk about it, I think the issue is when Mike and I have sex together we are more focused on the other person, whereas when we have sex with others, we are more focused on our own enjoyment.

That sounds selfish, especially about Mike and Kayla as we both love Kayla dearly, and what Matt and I have is not love at all.  But the D/s dynamic with Mike and Kayla is one that includes their sex – that is what Kayla desires of her submission.  Whereas with me, one-on-one sex with Mike and my submission to him are still more distinct.  Not totally mutually exclusive, but not totally inclusive as it is with Mike and Kayla.

Whatever it is, Mike and I find fulfillment in allowing the other to experience the joys of sex with other people.  He loves to see me as a sexual being – as someone who thoroughly enjoys sex – and I do.  When he watches Matt and I, he loves to give me directions.  He said it gives him a thrill to “order me” to do certain things with Matt.  In addition, there are times he tells me to be very explicit in telling Matt what I want him to do to me.  Mike loves hearing me ask for certain sexual acts.

Neither of us feels we are losing something when the other has sex with someone else.  I can’t explain it.  I am even surprised we both feel that way.  But we do, so it works for us.

JOHN AND DONNA
I haven’t mentioned them in a long time.  We still see them a lot and spend time each week at their house.  Those visits often, but not always, include sex.  In fact, at least on one of the nights Mike will be out-of-town, Kayla is going to spend the night at John and Donna’s.

I think the reason I don’t write much about them is that there isn’t anything new to write about.  Basically everything I shared before sums up our ongoing relationship with them and well, suffice to say it is ongoing!

UPCOMING EVENTS?
We are still talking to my parents about J’s annual stay at their house during the summer.  The last two years we’ve used his absence as an opportunity to explore some deeper forms of D/s, M/s, BDSM, or whatever (Post 31,  Post 150).   We hadn’t talked much about it until last night’s “Joint” Maintenance Session (Post 249).   We have some tentative plans, including some of the kinks we want to explore, which I’ll share on another post.

Next: 257. More Kayla

249. Sometimes Reminders don’t have to be Spankings

249

About a year ago Mike and I added to our regular Sunday sessions by holding a second weekly Maintenance Session on Thursdays.   It was the result of my need for some added focus after a string of submissive fails.  What started as temporary, became permanent and we added them to our latest contract.

Mike asked me how I felt about changing the focus of the Thursday sessions as it seemed to him they served their intended purpose and perhaps weren’t needed.  I agreed they were no longer influencing my focus, which has been consistently strong and I asked what he had in mind as I would hope we would continue to have this second touch point — and I don’t mean the cane touching my butt, I mean Mike and I discussing our D/s, hee hee.   

UPDATED THURSDAY MAINTENANCE
The end result is Mike decided to change our Thursday sessions, for now.  I will no longer be caned to start and open the session, and my “unsubmissive” journal, where I write down unsubmissive thoughts, will be part of my normal journal and reviewed at our Sunday session.  

Instead, he wants to use this time for a “family” meeting with both Kayla and I.  This gives us a scheduled time to focus on our collective relationship – discuss how things were going, how we were feeling, and just keep us all collectively in sync.

I love this idea.  We kind of do this already at night, but only in short bites and not always consistently.  Some times you just want to have sex and go to sleep and don’t want to discuss concerns or stresses or be a downer to end the day.  These Thursday sessions will be great.  I just didn’t realize how great!

OUR FIRST NEW THURSDAY MAINTENANCE SESSION
Kayla and I undressed and Mike remained clothed, as is customary for a Maintenance.
There wasn’t the customary spanking that begins our sessions.  He had two chairs arranged facing the chair he would sit in.  The three of us sat down.  Kayla and I weren’t certain what to expect since this was new to all of us.  It quickly became clear that Mike new what he expected.

We were both sitting in front of him and Mike said, “I want the two of you to follow the instructions I am going to give you.  Don’t do anything other than what I ask. Understood?.”

“Yes, Sir,” we said in unison. 

SO.  LET’s TALK.
Mike calmly said, “Kayla, kiss Jen.  No, don’t put your hand on her, just reach over and give her a kiss on her lips.”   

“Again.”  

“Now Jen, kiss Kayla. . . one more time.  Okay.  Now, I want you start kissing each other, a really good make out session, keep your arms down to your sides.”

Kayla, slide your hand between your legs and start playing with yourself.   Jen, I want you to play with one of your boobs, squeezing and rubbing it.”

“Now Jen, pinch a nipple and pull as far as you can until it snaps out between your fingers.   Again.  Now keep playing with it”.

“Now stop kissing but Kayla keep playing with your pussy and Jen keep rubbing your breast and playing with your nipple.  Both of you keep your free hand down to your side and I want your eyes staring at me.”

Kayla, if your finger is good and wet, bring your finger up to Jen’s mouth and let her lick it.  Let her lick it really good then put it back in your pussy and get it wet again and feed it to her again.”

“Jen, scoot your butt to the end of the chair and spread your legs.  Kayla, get up and kneel down in front of her on all fours and lick her pussy – and keep fingering yourself.

Mike got undressed and got behind Kayla and entered her from behind as she continued to lick me.  After a couple of minutes Mike withdrew and ordered Kayla to get on the bed and lay on her back.   He had me stand on one side of the bed as he stood on the other, both of us looking down at Kayla.

“Kayla, keep masturbating however you want, using both hands.”

We stood and watched her for while, then Mike called me over towards him and told me to get on my knees and suck him while he continued to watch Kayla.  At some point he told me to get up.  “Look at Kayla, she is playing with her pussy and her ass hole.  I want you to switch places with her and you play with both holes.  Kayla, get over here and suck me.”

“Both you keep doing what you are doing but neither of you take your eyes of me.”

Kayla was near climax.  I’ve told you before that she can orgasm just giving head. It was clear she was close.

Kayla, stop sucking.”  He then positioned m so my legs hung over the side of the bed as my back was still laying on the bed.  He spread my legs and entered me and told Kayla to climb on the bed and sit across my face so I could eat her pussy. 

I wouldn’t say we came in unison, but it was close.  Kayla first, then me, then Mike.  Mike then told Kayla to knee on the floor where he was just standing over me and get on her knees and lick me clean.  Having just cum, I could hardly stand it.

Mike got dressed and told Kayla to keep going at my pussy.  He went and got one of the vibrators and put it on my clit as Kayla licked below it and inside me.  It wasn’t long before I had another orgasm. 

Mike told Kayla to stop and to have a seat back where she first was sitting.  He gave me about a minute to catch my breath, and then told me to have a seat. 

As if nothing just happened, Mike calmly said, “So.  Let’s talk,” 

ACTUAL TALKING
We proceeded to discuss the weeks events, upcoming plans, how we were feeling about submission, our relationship, life in general.  How school and social life was going for Kayla, what our collective thoughts were on Matt, nudism, you name it.   Very nice discussion, but not as nice as what led up to it!

Neither Kayla nor I asked what that was about.  We knew what it was about.  It was about his Dominance and our submission. 

Sometimes reminders don’t have to be spankings!

Next: 250. The Nude Normal

215. Super Bowl Sinday, er, Sunday

215

I wrote before about John and Mike’s Sunday ritual of watching football together.  This occurs mostly at John’s house because adult fun is often part of the ritual. (Post 69. Are you ready for some football?!?).     

Kayla and I don’t always make it over for Sunday football.  It depends on whether J is going to be home all day or not.  Regardless, Donna is always there to keep the guys “entertained.”  However the Super Bowl is another thing altogether.  J always spends the day with my sister and his cousins as he despises football (and sports in general, but that’s another story).   My point is, we are free on Super Bowl Sunday.  Back to that in a moment.

INVITING MICHAUD?
Early last week Kayla asked Mike if Michaud could join in on Football Sunday for this past Sunday (January 21).   In other words, she was asking us to include Michaud in what we like to call our “Circle of Trust,” (those in which we engage in sexual activity).  
This prompted a lot of conversation among all three of us.  Ultimately Mike said no, but agreed to be open to the idea.

We have made it a point for Kayla to keep her relationship with Michaud distinct and separate from her relationship with us.  Of course, how separate can it really be when Michaud is aware of her dynamic with us?   Still, that’s not the same as including him in our play. 

Kayla did not tell Michaud about this as she needs Mike’s permission first.  Our assumption is he will jump at the chance, but maybe not.  He is a different kind of guy and he just may not to see Kayla in her submissive state, both in general and sexually.  Assuming he is in, he has no idea what he is in for.

The sex we have at John and Donna’s is different from what we have at home in our bedroom.  Us women are very submissive, the sex is more play, and often extended play.  It can include scenes and BDSM related activities.  We are often explicitly told what to do.  Imagine how intense it would be for Michaud and in stark contrast to the Kayla he knows.

It surprised us that Kayla wants to show him this side of her.  It will alter his perceptions of her – and there is huge potential that it would be negative.  Kayla has to think about the impact this has to their day-today relationship.  It will not be possible to simply go back to being the Kayla that Michaud is used to today.  In her submissive state she looks to Mike for instruction and permission for everything. 

What would Michaud make of her being under Mike’s control?

Would he begin to think he should behave like Mike?

How does it impact Michaud if he were to ask something of her and she looks to Mike for permission?

Being unfamiliar with our protocol, what if he does something that requires Mike to tell Kayla to ignore what Michaud said or requires Mike to correct Michaud?

What if nothing negative occurs, then what?  What are Michaud’s new expectations regarding Kayla’s behavior towards him or in his future involvement with Mike and I?

What if Mike decides he doesn’t want him around in the future?  That would be crushing for Kayla and very awkward for the two of them going forward.

KAYLA PERSISTS
Despite this, Kayla still wants to do it.  She feels if it somehow leads to diminishing their relationship, then “let it diminish.”  While she loves being with him, she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship that can’t handle this side of her.  She feels she has kept it from him long enough.

She shared that the two of them have talked about having sex with others, such as a threesome together or without the other one being there.  She said it was those conversations that got her to believe it would be good to invite him over for football.

She said she accepts all the various possible outcomes, even the bad ones.  The “good” that she sees coming from this is that it shows all of herself to Michaud.   Yes, it will hurt if he rejects her, but she knows she will get over it and it will be for the best.  If he doesn’t reject her, then all the better.

SIXTH ATTENDEE?
Another wrinkle is that Mike already invited Matt over to watch the Super Bowl.  Thus, there will be three men and three women – adding Michaud means a fourth man, plus, two of them would be new to our group.  It may be too awkward or weird for everyone.  

Seeing your girlfriend have sex with another man and woman is a lot to take in.  Is it wise to start off with three other men, one of which is her Dom, and two other women?   

HUMAN PRETZEL
It isn’t lost on us that Kayla desires to have multiple men at one time (Post 141.).  While Mike previously stated he would not be pursuing that for her (Post 146), that was almost eight months ago.  Allowing Kayla to experience this was one of Mike’s motivations for inviting Matt over.

We talk so openly about sex it is normal for us to talk about physical logistics of sex with multiple men.  We talked about how different it is to go from two to three – where all three holes can be filled – which is part of her fantasy.   And now we would have a fourth!?!  What if she finds she doesn’t like three, let alone four?  While she is very sexually confident,  what if she finds reality isn’t matching the fantasy?  What if she is uncomfortable or feels humiliated?  It can become very emotional.  Would she want Michaud to see that? 

WHY SAY YES?
It is clear Kayla wants the experience.  That desire may be blinding her to the potential risks.  Or perhaps, not.  She seems to WANT to put her relationship with Michaud to this test.

Even though she won’t (can’t) admit it, it could be she doesn’t care if it sabotages the relationship.  Things you do to put a relationship at risk are often more of a subconscious thing.  You won’t realize you want out, but deep down something drives your behavior to get you out.   Not saying that is happening here, but, it is a possibility.

There is also an element to their relationship that has Mike and I concerned.  In some ways she looks at Michaud as a plaything.  Something to pass her time and experiment with.  Nothing wrong with that IF he understands that and is looking for the same out of her.  The point is, we just don’t know because we don’t know him. 

I’ve given Mike my feedback, which seems to be consistent with his thoughts on this, and I await his decision.

UPDATE:  Before finishing this post, Mike’s decision is in.   

The answer is, “No, but….let’s get to know Michaud better.”

He won’t be there for the game.  But we are going to invite him over to our house as a guest…no sex, no D/s, nothing like that.  Just a meet and greet, followed by more interactions with him, however many it takes for us to get a good read on him.  Getting into the “circle of trust” is a process.

He won’t be a full-fledged member of our Circle of Trust, but we can at least start the process for membership – ha!   

P.S. Submissive Rule Book Check
When Mike tells me to give him my input on this issue, I give it.  If he doesn’t seek it, I don’t and I accept his decision.  When required to give my opinion, I try to be as clear and concise as possible about the level of my convictions.  I may say, “I can go either way….” (and give him my pros and cons), or I may say, “I prefer…” or, “I strongly recommend…”  While my words are used to influence him, it is acceptable because by seeking my opinion, he has given me permission to try to influence him.

While not required, it also helps him in explaining his decision.  If he decides contrary to something I felt strongly about, he takes the time to provide me more explanation than he would if it were something I could go either way with.   This helps us to stay “calibrated” in our motivations and thoughts about a variety of everyday issues. You know, everyday issues like, “should we add a sixth person to our sex party?”

NEXT: 216. In Search of Spanking

214. Nicknames: Opening our Joy Box

 

214
Kids get a toy box, adults get a joy box!

I’ve shared some of  shopping sprees that filled our joy box (Post 43, Post 130).  I have  mentioned some of the nicknames we have given to select items of our growing pleasure chest.  Do you have pet names for your spanking implements and sex toys?

Here are some of ours, along with some comments and critique from Mike and I.  Most of these are part of our sex play and not discipline.   I think I mentioned before that since adopting DD, our sex play has become more adventuresome with the addition of various toys and accouterments.  

— THE ALWAYS PADDLE —
 Pretty straightforward of a nickname.  It’s a 12 inch oak paddle with holes, engraved with “Always with Love.”  Mike said he believes the physics behind it is that the holes reduce air resistance making it easier for the spanker to swing harder, or basically give a harder spanking without using more effort.   The holes also dissipate the force that is put on the paddle, so less vibration of the paddle may again benefit the spanker.  As for the spankee, in addition to a harder hit, the flesh can compress around the spots where the holes are, causing more pain as the flesh squeezes in and out of the hole in an instant – leaving nice round marks on the ass.  If any of that is incorrect or begs for elaboration, please comment!

Jen:  As someone who has been on the receiving end of the “Always,” I concur.  It can really sting.
Mike:  I actually don’t pull this one out very often.  I don’t like the sound it makes.  Let me rephrase, I love the sound it makes, I just love it less than the sound of other implements!   Perhaps the holes dissipate the sound too?   While spanking is primarily about discipline, the sounds add to the overall experience for both of us, especially me.  I like to hear a smack more than a thud, and the Always tends to sound more muted.       

— MISSISSIPPI —
I mentioned this one in the New Years Eve spanking (Post 201).  Its’ name comes from the fact it is a wide paddle (The Mississippi River is a wide river).   It is 18 inches long and four and half inches wide, thus covers a lot of surface area.  

Jen:  Whenever I see it or am told to fetch it, I know I am in for a sore bottom for at least the rest of the day, if not a couple of days.
Mike:  Jen has mentioned before she thinks the Mississippi will crack some day because it isn’t very thick.  Well, it’s walnut or maple, I forget which, but it is harder than oak so I think will prove to be durable, much to her chagrin. 

— BABIES —
Yeah, these are the nipple suckers.   However, as we have added a cupping system and an “extra-large” set of suckers, we’ve had to differentiate between the “little babies,” (our standard suckers), the “big babies,” (are extra large suckers), and the “greedy babies” (the cup).

Jen: This is an area where DD has integrated our sex life.  We often pull out the “babies” as part of sex play.  I love nipple play and having my breasts be a focus of our sex play.  I’ve never had a nipple-gasm, that is, orgasm just from nipple play, but it often brings me very close!
There are differences in how these are used in discipline vs sex.  Discipline
is applying clamps or clothespins right after a good suction and keeping them in place for some time and pushing the limits on what I can tolerate.  Suffice to say, I love it when our lovemaking starts with, “go get all the babies.”
Mike:  What can I add after that?  I am amazed at how pliable the breast and nipples are and how they can retain a new shape for a while before returning to normal.  We’ve never measured, but I bet Jen’s nipples get close to three inches long, maybe four, while in suction.  Is that TMI?   

— BEAST —
Just google “prison strap.”  However, ours is rubber, not leather.  At 32 inches long it looks intimidating and it is to be feared (I say that jokingly – I don’t fear it, but I don’t like it!).   
Jen:  I don’t know if a leather strap would be more or less intense than rubber.  Anyone have experience with that?  Regardless, I am sure it mostly has to do with how hard the spanking is.  Whatever – this strap quickly delivers heat to my bottom. What I hate the most is that because it is so long, sometimes a strike will wrap around and get my hip – that’s a “Thwack” you don’t want to get too many of.
Mike:  Ha. I was just going to say that the difference in rubber versus leather is sound.  The rubber is more of a thump than a whack, but Jen’s right, when it wraps around and gets her hip, it is mixture.  “Thwack” is the perfect word.
The Beast covers a large area and leaves a mark quickly and with less effort.  Again, while discipline is the primary focus, you can’t ignore sights and sounds.  It delivers on great sights (red bottom), great sounds (both from the sound of the contact and the sounds it elicits from Jen and Kayla), and does so very quickly.
I imagine if someone really let loose with it there could be serious damage.  Striking very hard and just catching the tip of the strap on the ass — watch out!  I believe the physics behind it is that because it is so long, the tip is traveling at a very high rate of speed.  You want to make sure most of the straps surface is making contact with the butt, else you can cause serious injury.   We have never had a mishap, but the potential is there if not used with care.  

— KING —
It’s a seven-inch dildo whose nickname comes from the name the manufacturer gave it, the King Cock.  We just call it “the King.”
Jen:  This has always been exclusively a sex toy, not used in discipline.  This was my first dildo and I use it more than I thought I would.  It’s great when we need an extra cock to simulate DP.  I am sure some of you out there are like, “7 inch? That’s no king.”  Well, what can I say?  Seven is plenty for me.
Mike:  It’s a good change of pace from a vibrator and I enjoy using it on her or just watching her use it on herself.  

— HEISENBERG —
This is the Wartenberg pinwheel.  When we got it, Mike called it the Heisenberg because he couldn’t remember the correct name, and the name just stuck.  Nice Breaking Bad reference!
Jen:  Oooo, love this one.  This was another one I was unsure of until we actually used it.  It goes great when used along with the Babies!
Mike:  Yeah, this is a great mixed-used implement – good for both discipline and play, although I haven’t used it for discipline often.  Humm, note to self!  

— OH DIOS MIO —
The Violet Wand, my most expensive toy that is worth every penny.  You can find cheaper ones, but I was not disappointing with what I spent (I think it was like $150-$175). 
Jen:  This nickname came from the first time we used it.  I got a good zap somewhere and blurted it out.  I am not hispanic, it’s not a family saying, it’s just what came out.  I am pretty sure it was in the back of my mind from an SNL Skit.   This toys is great.  We played with it a lot when we first got it but it has been neglected lately.  Time to dust it off.
Mike:  Yeah, definitely needs to be part of the regular rotation and I have no idea why I haven’t pulled this one out for discipline.  Another note to self!   As for sex play, I think it’s one of those things that you don’t just want to get out and use for a few minutes.  It is best when you have time for a good extended love making session.  There are so many ways to use it.  The best resource on the ins and outs of the wand is at violetwand.com.

— BILLY MAYS —
The enema!  Yeah, I feel bad for Billy Mays fans to use his name as a nickname for the cleansing system.  That was Mike’s idea, simply because is cleans! 
Jen:  Yeah, not my favorite for discipline, but Kayla and I have used it on our own just to be nice and clean for Mike or each other.  A quick “squirt” or two can help eliminate worry of an anal sex mishap.  As for discipline, taking a lot in definitely creates a lot of discomfort.  I’ve at least gotten over the embarrassment of  expelling.  
Mike:  This can be a bit time-consuming thus not ideal for most punishment situations. Got to clean and rinse things afterwards.  I need to get one of those bulbs that you can just quickly fill and release.  I may have gone overboard with the system I purchased. Live and learn!   

— MEGATRON —
This is the name for the assorted bondage gear that Kayla picked out.  It includes chrome collar, bracelets, shackles, and wrist and ankle spreader bar. 
Jen:  These have never been used on me, this is Kayla’s deal.
Mike:  Great for punishment, and great for sex,  ’nuff said

— EL GUAPO —
For pure pleasure, not discipline — the penis pump and cock ring
Jen:  This nickname came from Kayla.  The first time we used it on Mike she jokingly said “Muy guapo,”  Spanish for very handsome!  Mike mentioned being surprised by how stretchy my nipples are, well, I was surprised by how rock hard his cock gets from using these two things together.
Mike:   Yeah, a normal erection is one thing, but these devices can help deliver a  “morning wood” hardness.  I wanted to call it the Steel Eel but relented.  El Guapo it is.  

Next:  215.  Super Bowl Sinday, er Sunday

199. An Open Marriage!?

199

It’s about time for another general musing post, this time addressing my feelings about sex with Matt.  

Ultimately, yes, we have an open marriage.  Like any kink, when it comes to labels – what things are, what they mean, and how they make you feel – are going to be different for every person and couple.   I don’t think of our marriage as “open,” but it sure isn’t closed!  HA!  I like to think of it as being open to “possibilities” versus just wide open for all to come and go.   

IS IT CHEATING WITH PERMISSION?
No, that is not an accurate representation.  There is no cheating as we are always playing by the rules of behavior that Mike and I have established for ourselves.  It is only cheating if you break the rules. 

IS IT ALL ABOUT SEX?
No, it isn’t.  It’s about lots and lots of communication, trust, checking in with your own personal boundaries, and about having a great deal of confidence.  Confidence in yourself to ask for and enjoy sexual activities that are of interest to you – and – confidence in your relationship to allow the other person to ask for and enjoy sexual activities that are of interest to them.   Mike and I have great communication, clear definition of boundaries, high self-confidence, and high confidence in our relationship.  This leaves little room for accidentally crushing someone’s feelings or inciting jealousy. 

I’ve found that our sexual exploration with others has added to my sex life with Mike.  Being open creates opportunities to be exposed to new things that we may choose to incorporate in our relationship.   We can also explore sexual relationships or activities that involve both of us, such as threesomes, foursomes, or role-playing that require more than just the two of us.  I have desired and experienced things I never even gave thought to before DD.  And I have experienced things that I previously hid away in my head as pure fantasy.  

BOUNDARIES
Mike and I have boundaries, but there are no specific prohibited acts.  The boundary is simply that we have to both be aware of what the other is doing and be willing to talk about specifics if the other wants to know.   In other words, no secrets.  

This has been easy because most of our sex with others has been in the presence of each other.  The few times it hasn’t, we talk about it.   We talk about it because we are always interested in learning about what and why they liked or disliked what they did.  And we talk about it with a degree of indifference and nonchalance that you would think we were talking about some television show one of us saw without the other.  We don’t want to hear about every line in the show, but we want to know if it was enjoyable.  That, and, well, whether or not there were one or more orgasms and what orifice did they come in.   Yeah, exactly something you’d want to know about a show they saw without you.  HA!! 

I do have some additional “rules” that Mike doesn’t have.  Namely I can only be with others with his specific approval.  Contrast this with Mike who  is free to be with anyone at anytime, just so long as he tells me about it.  He only has to tell me in advance if the time being spent with the other person takes away from time with me.  For instance, if he were to go out while I was at home and he wanted to have sex with someone.  But, if say he was on a business trip and had the opportunity for sex, he can simply tell me about it later.  By the way, I came up with that rule, not Mike. 

Although we have these rules, we haven’t needed to implement them much.  But Mike and I have at least talked about it because we are aware that our relationship is such that these things could happen.  Neither of us are currently seeking sexual partners outside our current “circle of trust” but we aren’t adverse to it if the opportunity presents itself.   That current “circle of trust” includes Kayla, John, Donna, and at least for the moment, Matt.  

OTHER BENEFITS
Being open with sex means having more frank conversations.  Once sex lost all vestiges of taboo in our conversations, we both became comfortable admitting when we are or aren’t in the mood, and more comfortable talking about people we are attracted to and the things we enjoyed doing (or having done to us).  This led to learning new things about each other and made us closer. 

I was married to Mike for almost 25 years before I really understood what he liked the most about sex.  And the same is true for Mike fully understanding what I enjoyed most about sex.  How sad we went so long with “secrets” about what made us feel good. Why do people do that!?!?   We wouldn’t keep such secrets about anything else in life, so why keep them regarding sex? 

WHAT NEXT?
I don’t know.  It’s possible our “circle of trust” never grows further.  We both seem to prefer fewer, deeper relationships than many casual ones.  We haven’t really put ourselves in a position to have opportunities for more sexual partners.   We did “flirt” a bit with some FetLife functions and of course there was “the party.”  While they were fun, we just didn’t connect with the people with met.  

Mike and I share our sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies with each other.  When we got into DD we made this a priority, and honestly, it was very difficult and took time to fully evolve to where we share everything.  Here’s an excerpt from that post: 

Sit down with your partner and have a discussion on the differences between sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies.  Then, if you are so bold, actually share your sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies.  

Once you get over the terror and embarrassment, it becomes some of the most amazing conversations you will ever have with your partner. 

REMAINING DESIRES? 
We define a sexual “fantasy” as something we actually don’t want to do (for now) or that may implausible or impossible.   Whereas, a sexual “desire” is something we aspire to experience.  Over time there are things that could move from the “fantasy” box to the “desire” box.

One such fantasy that made this move is my “stranger in the night” fantasy.  In it I have sex with some random stranger, man or woman, and never know who they are, not even a name.  This merged with a fantasy of Mike’s where he basically “pimps” me out (but obviously with no money being exchanged).   The experience with Matt  was close to this, but Matt isn’t a stranger.   In this merged fantasy Mike and I have talked about going out with the intent of seducing someone, man or woman, to have sex with me.  We could make this happen if we stayed engaged in FetLife activities, but both of us share the desire for this to be more organic.  That is, unexpected — not a kink event where such things are likely to occur, but just say a random encounter at a restaurant.

Even if we don’t ever fully act on this desire, sharing it and merging his desire with mine has provided some great titillation.   There are times we are out and one of us says to the other, “How about that one?”  And then we talk about how we would seduce them and what we would do.  Just talking about it gets us both all hot and bothered.  Perhaps some day will we actually try to make it happen.

FANTASIES?
One of Mike’s fantasies involves me as a “Center of Attention” with a lot of guys.  In his words, “like at least seven, if not ten.”   A hallmark of this fantasy is that it ends with me drenched in their cum.  Mike admits he likes the thought of it, but not actually wants me to do it.   Mike did ask me if it was something I would do.  I said yes, of course, but that didn’t change his views that this should stay a fantasy of his.   He sort of got an inkling of what it would actually be like and that was enough to convince him to keep it a fantasy.

Knowing that Mike had this fantasy, I had John come on my face.  When we were done, Mike was like, “Ew, please go wash up.”  He didn’t want to kiss me or get close to me, even after I scrubbed.  So yeah, the fantasy is almost always better than the reality because in the fantasy you don’t have to consider such things.

One of my fantasies includes Mike having sex with other men.  It’s something I know he isn’t into (I’ve asked!) and thus I leave it as a fantasy.  I wonder if this is common fantasy for women?  It really gets me off to think about sharing sucking a cock with him.  Did my stating that make you feel weird?  Well, that’s the thing about being completely open and honest with your partner.  You can say such things as if you simply asking if you wanted to share a piece of cake.  It’s no big deal if they say no.

Bottom line, both Mike and I feel 100% confident to ask for and enjoy anything sexually, whether with each other or someone else.

Next: Post 200.  Balloons and Submission?

198. Sex with Mike, I mean, with Matt

198

Ok, so those in this picture are way younger than we are, but hey, it’s a nice pic.

I wrote in my last post of Mike’s “request” that I have sex with his friend Matt.  I said “yes” without hesitation.  For starters, I have already agreed to perform any sexual act on anyone that Mike requests.  In addition, I love performing sexually for him, as well as for anyone as I have an exhibitionist side.  And it helps that Matt is attractive, and single.  As I stated before, the one caveat to my sexploration is that it never involve someone in a relationship unless their partner or spouse is away and condones such activities. 

Mike and I had our date night and went out for a nice dinner.  As planned we stopped by Matt’s to see his new place and for a night cap.  As we pulled up and before I got out of the car, Mike told me to take my panties off, and of course I complied. 

We went in and Mike and I were sitting on his couch, with Matt sitting in a nearby chair.  We were making small talk, asking him what “single” life felt like after twenty-something years of marriage.  I asked Matt if he was dating and he said no, not yet.  He said he hadn’t really been trying but only now feels ready to give it a shot.  Mike then made some comment like, “So, I guess you haven’t had sex in some time then.  That must be something new to get used to, right?” 

Matt just laughed and said something like, “Yeah, I guess so.”  

Mike then said, “Well, we have something somewhat new in our relationship.”  Mike went on to explain to journey into Domestic Discipline and our Dominant/submissive lifestyle.  Matt didn’t say much.  He was just wide-eyed and said, “Wow, really?” or, “Our you serious?” quiet a bit. 

 Mike then said, “In fact, I told her to take her panties off in the car just before we came in.  Honey, stand up and life up your skirt to show him.”

I immediately stood up and did as Mike told me.  Mike said, “So Matt, I guess that’s the first pussy you’ve seen in awhile, isn’t it?”

Matt had this half-laugh and shook his head from side to side and said, “I don’t know what to make of this, but, yeah, it’s been awhile.”  

Mike then told me to remove my skirt.  Mike stood up and walked over to another chair and sat down.  He told me to lay on the couch. 

“You know Matt, Jenny likes people to watch her masturbate.  Are you interested?”  To which he responded, “Um, sure Mike, if that’s okay with you two.”

It has been awhile since I did anything sexual in front of someone for the first time.  (Post 20  and Post 139).  Mike walked over to me and unbottoned my top and I sat up just enough so he could take it off.  He pushed my bra up and exposed by tits and then he sat back down.  

I continued to finger myself and play with my tits.  I removed my bra after asking Mike for permission to do so.  I was looking intently back and forth at Mike and Matt.  I love to make eye contact with whomever is watching me.  Mike had smile, and Matt’s look was priceless.  His eyes were as big as saucers and he had his bottom lipped curled under his top lip and he was slightly moving his head up and down as if to say, “yes, i really like this.”

“Would you like to fuck her?” Mike asked Matt.  

“Uh, what?  Like, right now?  Right here?” Matt stammered. 

“Sure,” Mike said nonchalantly,  “Right her, right  now.”

Matt was hesitant and asked Mike, “Do you have to watch?” 

I just kept masturbating as the two of them had a conversation about the logistics of Matt having sex with me.  Matt wanted reassurance from Mike that he was cool with it and that I was cool with it.  At one point Mike even asked me if I was okay with it to which I replied, “Absolutely.”   Matt’s last hangup was having it there with Mike watching, so Mike told him to go ahead and take me to his bedroom if that made him more comfortable.   It did, so Mike told me to follow Matt to his room. 

I was a little disappointing that Mike wasn’t going to be watching.   That’s part of the thrill.  Also, I was hoping Mike would join in at some point, but now that didn’t seem likely.  Oh well, can’t always have everything you want! 

Mike tossed me a condom as I followed Matt to his room.  When we got there he closed the door and again asked me if I was okay with this.  I told him not only was I okay but he could do me any way he wanted but I wanted to leave the door opened.  I said, “At least let Mike hear what’s going on.”  Matt complied and opened the door.

I kissed Matt as he and i both started unzipping and removing his pants.  I dropped my knees and pulled his underwear down and there it was!  Matt has a big penis.  I immediately began sucking him and he quickly grew fully erect.  I had never had a penis this size in my mouth (I later confirmed with Matt that it was 8.4 inches).  I know that isn’t like gargantuan porn-star huge, but  still, a personal record for me!   

For a moment I wondered if the condom would fit, but it did.  And once affixed I got on the bed and laid down on my back and he got on top of me and started fucking me.  I was a bit distracted as I was concentrating on the feeling I was getting, trying to determine if his big cock actually felt different.  It felt good, very good, but it didn’t really feel different.  I kept focusing on what I was feeling hoping to discern some different sensation.  I guess after all these years of fucking my vagina is loose enough to accept whatever sized dick without feeling any different.  Ha. 

I finally gave up trying to identify any different feelings and got back into just enjoying the sex.  At some point he flipped me around and entered me doggy style.  He then came, but I still had a ways to go.  He fingered me for awhile.  I asked him if Mike could join us.  He said he’d rather “finish me off” on his own.   Okay, who am I to complain about that? 

He went down on me and I orgasmed about five minutes later.  We laid there for awhile, and eventually he said, “Now what?” 

I said, “I dunno, I have never done this.”  I clarified that I have had sex with other people with Mike’s consent, but I never had it like this, in another room, with Mike waiting.  I told him if he was up for another round that I could call Mike in and they both could have me.  Matt said maybe later and let’s take this one step at a time.   I felt like saying, “Well, what we just did was a mega giant step, so what’s the big deal?”  But I kept myself from saying it as that would be rude and I realized Matt was still in a bit of shock over this. 

I reassured him this was all very okay and more than just okay, is something I enjoyed tremendously.  He got dressed and we walked out of the room together.  I was still naked as my clothes were still back in the living room.  I surprised Matt when I grabbed his hand and told him I wanted I wanted to hold his hand as we walked back to the living room. 

Mike said, “I assume you both enjoyed yourselves?”   I replied with a “Yes, Sir,” while Matt sheepishly said, “Yeah, you can say that again.”   

Matt sat down and Mike instructed me to kneel next to Matt.  Mike asked Matt what he thought about all this and Matt admitted he wasn’t sure what to think as he still isn’t sure what just happened.   Mike laughed and said, “Sex with my wife just happened.” 

Mike went on to reassure Matt that this was all okay, and that if Matt was okay with it, he could do it again sometime, even that night.  Mike told him that I really enjoyed two men at once so if he could join them next time it would be all the more pleasurable to me.  Matt said, “I’ve never done that, but sure, we could do that.”    

Mike said, “Why not now?”  Matt laughingly said, “No, I need more time to recoil.  And frankly, I am still in a bit of shock.  Let’s just relax a bit and see how it goes.”   

Mike agreed and the conversation slowly turned to just mundane talk of what other mutual friends are up to, current events, and stuff like that.   At some point Mike again asked Matt if he all three of us should go to his bedroom.  Matt said that we should just save that for next time to which Mike responded, “Look, watching Jenny masturbate and hearing you all in the bedroom has me horny, so if you aren’t ready to go again Matt, I sure am.  Jen, hon, come suck my dick.” 

I got up and went over to where Mike was sitting.  I pulled his pants and underwear down, and sucked him where he sat.  I kept at it until he came in my mouth.   He stood up, pulled up his pants, and said, “Thank you Jen, now get dressed as it is about time to go.”     

We stayed about another thirty minutes talking.  I wasn’t sure what Matt was making of all of this and whether he was really comfortable with everything that transpired.  But he made that clear as we were leaving as he said, “So, are you all free tomorrow night?”

Unfortunately we weren’t, but Mike added, “Matt, you are free to come by our house any evening.  Just let me know what works for you. Oh, and by the way, what are you doing Sunday.  Want to come to my buddies house and watch football?”    Oh my, now there will be Mike, John, and Matt watching the game.  Matt is in for one hell of a halftime!  

So what do I think of all of this?  Well, I share those ruminations on my next post (as well as what happened today during football).   Suffice to say, I really enjoy my sex life!!! 

NEXT: 199.  An Open Marriage!?