386. Immersion 2022 – COT Reunion Drama?

Time for some kink.

Ha. Same image and title as I used when sharing our last “Immersion” fun back in 2020. Here’s the post about the 2020 funfest and it includes links to 2019 and other Immersions.

This will be a bit of rambley post (is that word? It is now). But that’s just to show you I haven’t changed! 🙂

For the DDJenny uninitiated:

IMMERSION
Immersion started off as a once a year time for us to test limits, to explore deeper, often darker, forms of submissions. More Master/slave than Dominant/submissive, more BDSM than DD. We then started combining our Immersion with gatherings of our COT.

COT (Circle of Trust)
COT is the term we use to refer to our “like-minded” friends that we “play” with. In other words, kinky friends with whom we fuck together. Gosh, that doesn’t sound as nice as that first sentence. Oh well, truth hurts! LOL. Our COT is basically 4 couples and the three of us. That’s the core group, but there are a few “guests” at times.

IMMERSSION / COT GATHERING 2022
This year we spent a week at our “place in the woods.” A now, often used place we love to rent to get away from it all. As the name implies, it is remote and fairly isolated. With binoculars you can see another home, otherwise, you see trees and dirt.

We spent the first two days doing some of the M/s type things we’ve done in past Immersions. I won’t go into it, not because I don’t want to share, but, I have other things to share in this post. If you want to get an idea as to what those activities are, use the link at the start of the post to see the 2020 details and links to prior years.

We really haven’t deepened our exploration of new things in the last few immersions. I think the three of us have found our limits as well as found the limits we are comfortable relaxing during Immersion. The first two days of our stay was just the three of us revisiting (exploring) those limits. Then, our COT began to arrive and the fun really began.

COT’S TAKE TEAMWORK AND COOPERATION
I really liked the image on this post as it evokes thoughts of teamwork and cooperation. And with 5 couples in our Circle of Trust (COT) – okay 4 couples and 1 triad if you want to be technical. . . With 11 people sharing several days together and sharing way more than just their time (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), it takes teamwork and cooperation to hold things together.

Despite the time apart the relationships between everyone appears to be strong. Everyone is open about their individual needs and their needs within their own relationships and everyone is equally respectful of every one else’s needs. But, as we learned, needs change, and we all needed to share those changes. More on that in a bit.

One of our COT rules is that the women don’t get to complain. They can bring issues to their man, but they don’t bicker or complain to other men or the other women, and definitely do not talk bad of anyone. Maybe that’s why our COT works? The women aren’t allowed to be bitchy. LOL.

Okay, okay. I didn’t mean that as a misogynistic dig at us women. Honestly, I feel it is less about gender and more about the fact that because a group, which happens to be women, defers to a smaller group, conflicts can get resolved more easily Instead of 11 personalities advocating for their needs, it’s 5. And those 5, (the men), are savvy enough Dom’s to appropriately incorporate the needs of their women and balance the “greater good” of the fun everyone has in the COT.

Another rule is that issues are often aired publicly, for all to hear. I am not sure who first came up with the concept, but the men decided that it was best to share conflicts, and their resolution, with everyone. So if you do complain, everyone is going to know about it. It doesn’t prevent complaints, but it definitely creates an environment where concerns are respectfully aired.

MIKE DISCIPLINES CHELSEA
Our gathering began as any social gathering of friends may begin, except the women were naked. Minor exception, right? hee-hee. Point is, there was a lot of small talk, catching up on family, work, and life stuff.

During the chit-chat, Chelsea complained to me and Kayla about something irking her about Kim. I told her after her first comment that she needed to talk to Jaime about it. The second time she did it I told her that if she doesn’t go to Jaime, I would need to go to Mike about her behavior (per our standards, I would not bring a complain to another person, only to my husband).

When Chelsea commented about Kim for the third time, I had to tell Mike. After I did that, Mike talked to Jaime and to my surprise (maybe I should have expected it), Mike called Chelsea out of the living room with everyone around. “Chelsea, come with me right now.” It was stern and anything but discreet. The room got silent for a minute or two as Mike took Chelsea by the hand and directed her to one of the bedrooms.

The chatter in the room resumed but soon, even with the idle chatter, you could hear that someone was being spanked, and you knew it wasn’t Mike. I could see people looking over at Jaime, a bit puzzled. It didn’t dawn on me until then that, other than John and Donna, no one was fully aware of Mike’s role within Jaime and Chelsea’s dynamic. They would be now.

When Mike and Chelsea emerged, you could see the tears in her eyes and the redness of her bottom. Chelsea then apologized to everyone for disrupting the fun and then admitted she had done wrong by complaining about someone to me and Kayla. She then had to say who and what it was that was bothering her.

Chelsea didn’t like the way Kim was talking to TJ. It didn’t sound “submissive enough” to her. She noticed Kim would interrupt TJ mid-sentence, or correct certain things he said. Chelsea apologized to TJ and to Kim, admitting it was improper for her to go to me and Kayla and she should have gone to Jaime with her concerns. She also apologized and thanked me and Kayla for putting us in a position of having to hear her complaints. Mike then spanked her about ten more times right in front of everyone.

TJ accepted the apology and Kim even apologized for making Chelsea feel uneasy. They both explained their dynamic had evolved a bit over the last two years and apparently it showed. They went on to explain they identify more as swingers than D/s. There is still some Domestic Discipline that goes on, but Kim doesn’t get spanked very often. And she isn’t subject to many rules, especially when it comes to deferring to TJ. They didn’t realize it was that obvious. Kim even said that maybe some bad habits have creeped in that the two of them will need to talk about as, D/s or no D/s, she doesn’t want to come across as disrespectful. All in all it was a productive exchange. Teamwork and cooperation!

BUT, WHAT ABOUT MIKE AND CHELSEA?
Then, Kim brought up the elephant in the room. A no, it wasn’t the large, wood carved elephant decoration in the room. She said, “Now, that we’ve explained what’s going on with us, Jaime, why did Mike discipline your wife?”

The way Kim said it could have been taken two ways. It could have been interpreted as snarky, like, “Girl, you gonna’ question MY husband about what he expects from me when YOUR husband can’t address what is expected of YOU! Or, it could have been taken as truly being inquisitive.

Jaime interpreted it as the latter, thankfully. I think that’s another magic ingredient of our COT. People assume the best intentions of others. I think it is easier for us to do that because generally everyone is honest, to a fault. If someone doesn’t like something, you’ll know it in clear terms, no anal-retentive, passive-aggressive behavior. ANYWAY, he took her question in good faith and said, “We’ve had some changes too. Consider the Domestic Discipline in my house as being outsourced to Mike.” People nodded and that was that. Teamwork and cooperation.

That was the only drama of the gathering, and there was one surprise. On the last day everyone was there, two mystery guests arrived! Two men. So for the first time, the men outnumbered the women, seven to six. Who were they? What did they partake in, if anything? And, why did Kayla never get to see them? That, and more, on my next post! Sorry to leave you with that cliffhanger twice in a row, but I wanted to share the Chelsea incident first. I promise, next time I’ll share what, if any, kink-action the two penises, uh, er, ahem. . . I mean, the two men, saw.

NEXT: 387. Glory, Glory, Glory x9!

385. COT Congregation and Immersion 2022

So much to catch you all up on after a year long hiatus. Will just skip to more current events. And will skip trying to find an image to go with this post.

COT CONGREGATION / IMMERSION
We had our first congregation of our “Circle of Trust” since Covid. Can’t believe two years went by! While we saw John and Donna quite a bit during the Covid-times, and as things improved we saw Jaime and Chelsea, and Matt (without Jill), we had yet to get together as a full group until the first weekend in April. If fools are kinky, we definitely lived up to April Fool’s!

It was the first time we saw TJ and Kim in two years. We’ve kept in touch via text and phone calls. We did a few video calls early on in Covid but none of us found them particularly fun, despite our best efforts (wink wink, nudge nudge). So it was great to catch up with them face-to-face, and um, tbh, penis to vagina! Yeah, it may have been two years but we found it easy to pick up where we left off.

It was the three of us, of course, and John and Donna, Matt and Jill, Jaime and Chelsea, and TJ and Kim. We invited Raul and Valerie but they opted out. They didn’t join us last year either. They are not averse to “extra-marital activities” but don’t like the group scene. We respect that but still invite them in case the mood hits them. We invited them to over with just the three of us, and they came back and asked if I would just visit them. Of course! I’ll be going over later this week!

Everyone in the group is fully vaccinated and boosted, but not without a little drama. Jill put off hers for some time. She’s sweet and all, and educated, but doesn’t follow the news at all. Unfortunately, she ends up relying on her Facebook friends to keep her informed. It’s more that she just didn’t know any better and after some educating by Matt and others, she eventually woke up and realized the value of being vaxed. Yep, Jill, no tracker was put into your DNA, despite what your FB “expert” friend McKaleigh says. I digress.

The real drama has been Jaime and Chelsea. Chelsea stayed with us for almost two months at the start of this year. The second time she has done so as Jaime was off on a contracting job. I believed I mentioned he is a plumber. Self-employed and often gets work on a crews that do large commercial properties. He might be gone for days or weeks when he gets an out of town job.

I wish I had been blogging during her visit as I think it would be have been great blog fodder. Much of the visit is now a blur but there was a time during her stay that I thought perhaps her stay might become permanent. Yep, our trio becoming a quartet. But Mike assured me that was not the case.

Jaime and Chelsea have had problems but seem to have finally reconciled them. I chalk it up to a combination of immaturity and lack of 100% communication. Despite all they have shared with each other, they were both still holding back regarding their feelings, needs, and desires. What came of their last visit is that essentially Mike is Chelsea’s Dom. Chelsea submits to Jaime but Mike is the disciplinarian. I wouldn’t fully describe Jaime as a cuck, but definitely cuck-ish. I think it took him time to fully admit that to himself and others. And now that he has, things are better with them. He readily admits that before he could accept that about himself, he would resent Chelsea doing the very things he enjoyed seeing her do with other men.

And Chelsea also had her own revelation in that she admitted that while she loves submitting to her husband, she didn’t like him performing the discipline. She had been conflicted, wanting to be disciplined and resenting when he wouldn’t do it, and then resenting it when he would.

I’ve shared before that she grew up in a household where her dad spanked the kids and her mom. As much as she hated it and couldn’t wait to leave home, she feels she needs that kind of discipline but doesn’t want it from her husband. And from the start Jaime admitted that spanking her is not something he particularly enjoys. But he does enjoy her obedience and accepting discipline, even if he isn’t going to give it.

It wasn’t like they were purposely hiding these feelings. They just didn’t want to recognize what it is they were feeling. They both tried to suppress those feelings as they both were feeling guilty for what they were needing and feeling. And more than guilt, they felt weird, odd, even defective, for feeling those things. It’s hard to admit things to yourself and as long as you are unable to do so, you definitely can’t admit them to others. But your “truth” will eat at you and denying your truth will manifest itself in unhealthy ways. For them, that manifestation was in how they often treated each other. The resent they would show for each other was really a resentment of their own needs and desires.

Once they let go of that and recognized they needed to embrace their feelings as valid, no matter how weird, odd, or “defective” they were, they were able to heal – together – and “codify” changes in their relationship that removed all resentments.

Today they maintain an open marriage where she has sex with others, with his permission, and Mike provides her discipline. Mike will go over to their apartment or sometimes they drop by the house when it’s needed. He also goes over on the weekend for a sort of “Maintenance” session. I like to say that Jaime has outsourced Chelsea’s discipline to Mike.

Weird I know. But so is your kink! It works for them, it works for Mike, so what of it? I love that another couple trusts Mike so much that they have him performing this role in their relationship. We all got to see this in action during our “COT Congregation” when Mike had to discipline Chelsea for her behavior. But maybe that will be for another post?

Speaking of another post, another one will also be required to talk more of our 2022 Congregation and “Immersion.” But I’ll leave you with this teaser. . .

Mike rented our “place in the woods” yet again. And while our COT is comprised of 5 men and 6 women, then men actually outnumbered the women for some time! Two mystery guests were invited! Hey, we had to do something to make up for lost time!

NEXT POST: 386. IMMERSION 2022 – COT REUNION DRAMA?