131. An Argument

Mike and I had our biggest disagreement since adopting Domestic Discipline over two years ago.  Granted, I wrote before about an argument (Post 44. Argument Part I and Post 45. Argument Part II).   But that was nothing compared to this.  On the one I posted about in 44 and 45, I was clearly in the wrong.  This one didn’t have a right or wrong.  Just two points of view that were equal on their merits, but only one could prevail.  

The issues are unimportant but I will say it had to do with our kids, namely our youngest J, and a disagreement over handling a particular situation.  I am not going to share the details because it really doesn’t matter.  It isn’t about someone being wrong or right, or who said or did what to whom.  Suffice to say we didn’t see eye to eye on something of which we both have strong feelings and perspectives – and those feelings and perspectives were not compatible.  Thus, an argument. 

There is nothing about our DD lifestyle that says I must agree with Mike or that says I don’t have a voice.  I routinely voice my thoughts and opinions but allow Mike to be the final arbiter.  I have never felt discounted or felt that my views were devalued, even though clearly I don’t always “get my way.”  That is no different from life before DD. 

The difference is that before DD, discontent would typically fester, pop, then linger.  With DD there is no opportunity for an issue to fester as we communicate openly, honestly, and timely.  Instead of “popping” in a heated argument, there is a “respectful disputation” that has a clear ending.  Yes, that ending is typically with Mike deciding on things, but I agreed to that,  and frankly, I like that.  At least in concept, because there are times where it is very difficult.  Basically, the more important and passionate I am about the issue, the harder it is to accept Mike’s “verdict” if it is not to my liking. 

Thus far there have been few issues that have come up and almost all are been very minor.  Mike has been very good at considering my needs.  While I don’t look at in terms of “wins” or “losses,” it makes it easy to convey if I sum it up as simply, “win some, lose some.”  Again, no different from pre-DD, except again, the process is much more respectful, quick, loving, and finite — no lingering resentments.   And of course, one other major difference is that ultimately, Mike rules!

I could not accept Mike’s decision on this particular issue.  We actually talked about it on several occasions over a few days before he came to a decision.  He was done talking about it but I was not.  I did not agree with his decision.  At first he graciously and respectfully said, “Okay, I see that this upsets you, so let’s talk so more.”  Sort of like, “I know I made my decision, but I am open to reconsidering.”  But after about the third time of doing this he grew impatient and drew the “Dom card.”  Basically he decreed the discussion over and the decision final.  I still could not accept it.  I’ll get back to that in moment.  

During the discussions (okay, fine, During the Argument!)
I earned a few punishments prior to him pulling the “Dom card.”  In each case Mike was clear that the punishment was not because we were in disagreement, but because of my attitude or disrespect in my attempts to communicate my feelings.  I accepted those spankings without hesitation.  I agreed to be respectful at all times and I wasn’t, so it was no different from any other transgression.   It also helped me stay calm when I talked to him, or, I would wait until I calmly collected my thoughts before bringing it up again.   So again, I thank our DD for helping in this way.     

As the issues and discussions spanned the course of several days, the mood in the house was a bit odd and awkward.  Not only was this our first big “fight” since adopting DD, we also have Kayla in our household.   Let’s just say that during those days I was not feeling particularly close to Mike, nor he to me, and Kayla was sort of stuck in the middle.  I didn’t particularly feel sexy nor sexually aroused towards Mike nor did he feel that way towards me.  In those days I did have sex with Kayla, and Kayla with Mike, but Mike and I did not have sex.   I know Kayla was a bit uncomfortable by it all, but she was wise to stay out the fray and Mike and I retained enough of our senses to not try to drag her in.  She did not give her opinion, nor was she asked. 

AFTER THE DOM CARD
When Mike pulled his “Dom card” and issued is final “decree,” he knew I was still unhappy about it.  Despite my efforts, I couldn’t “fake” it  and was clearly not my normal self.  At one point Mike finally said, “Are you happy being a submissive?”     Of course I answered yes (make that, “Yes, Sir!”   

“Do you want to remain submissive or stop?”   “Yes sir, I want to remain like this.  I do not want to stop.”

He went on to ask me why I didn’t want to stop, and my replies were full of all the things I’ve written about here regarding what I get from DD.  I know the point he was trying to make is that if I get all these wonderful things from DD, I need to accept that he has final say and that is that.  He heard me out, he even softened his position a bit, and he made his final decision.  If I couldn’t accept it, he was basically saying I can not accept DD and our D/s relationship.  This was similiar to the approach he took the first time we had an argument after adopting DD.  (Post 45 Argument – Part 2).

I still wasn’t ready to give in.  I wanted it both ways.  I want to be submissive, I want to serve Mike, and I want my way on this one.  Mike then turned my disagreement with him into a punishable offense.   He said he was done discussing it, had already made certain concessions and it was clear we would never fully see eye to eye on the appropriate solution, so either I accept he has final say or I don’t, and we are done with DD.  Since I made it clear I did not want to end our DD, nor want to accept his decision as final, I was punished. 

THE PUNISHMENT
The punishment was not an immediate event.  It was several days of basically a Master/slave immersion. More like a “mini” immersion because J was home with us, but while he was at school or asleep, it was very much Master/slave mode.  Mike said that perhaps having to go a few days of deeply submitting beyond our normal routine would help “get back into my submissive mindset.” 

It may be strange to say this, but I loved this.  I still hated the decision, and I didn’t particular enjoy parts of the “deep submission,” but I enjoyed the idea of it.  I have written before that I love it anytime Mike ad-libs things in showing his Dominance.  This situation was not explicitly addressed in our Contract so he had to use his discretion in determining how to respond to my actions.  He did so in an admirably Dominant way and I happy that he did so. 

Since I haven’t shared a spanking story in a while, I’ll share one particular punishment I got during this mini-immersion period.  The immersion was filled with spankings, some severe, nip and clit clips, tack bra, ball gag, mouth soaping (and the dreaded rinse), writing lines, and the like.  It also had its share of sexual submission as well.  At any time Mike would stop me and have me perform a sexual act on him or on Kayla.   There were standing orders that anytime he motioned a certain way I was to drop on all fours in front of him, take out his cock and perform oral sex, while Kayla fetched a paddle.  She would then paddle me while I went to town on Mike and continued spanking me until Mike finished. 

When Mike announced the mini-immersion was over, the entire issue was truly over.  I accepted his decision on the issue that started all of this.  I was definitely back in my submissive mindset.   In reflecting on it I also could say that while I still wish he would have decided otherwise, I can fully accept his decision.  While it isn’t what I would have decided, it was still reasonable, loving, and effective – just like the mini-immersion.  Score one for the Dom, and score another for DD.

NEXT:  Post 132.  Good Grove / Bad Move.

  

 

 

105. Cleaning a Potty Mouth

Wow.  Two posts in one day!   Nice.

I shared in Post 102: Sharing Salacious Spanking Stories that I spanked Kayla for cursing.
I also said I had other spanking stories to share, however, a punishment later topped those stories in my mind and thus I will share this one with you.  Yesterday Kayla was again punished for cursing, but this time by Mike and it was more than just a spanking. 

On New Year’s Eve my two older son’s took our youngest out for day at the zoo, so that left Mike, me, and Kayla alone for the morning and afternoon.  Kayla and I remained clothed in the event they came back unexpectedly.  After Mike did his morning inspection,  Kayla earned an Immediate Reward as he found several infractions with the organizing of her room.  They were very minor things, such as some hangers not facing the right direction or not spaced properly, or finding dust on the ceiling fan.   Kayla wanted strictness – she got it.   As soon as our kids were out of the house he gave her quite a few spankings due to the many infractions.   I kept look out in the event the kids drove up unexpectedly.   She cried as she is apt to do, but recovered quickly and we went about the morning.

Not much later as we were all in the kitchen, Kayla suddenly let’s out a “Oh F*ck!”  She stubbed her toe against chair.  She quickly said, “I am sorry, Sir, sorry Ma’am, I didn’t mean to.”  Mike lectured her as this was the second time she dropped the F-bomb.  Cussing is a habit she hadn’t shown around us before, but clearly the F-word is her go-to when she is shocked.  Mike had her drop her pants and he pulled off his belt and spanked her.  Again, I went to be the look-out in case the kids came home.   Mike then told Kayla to take all her clothes off and he again spanked her with his belt.  He then instructed her to go to our bathroom and find a corner to stand in and he would be there in a bit.   Mike told me to alert him if the kids pulled up, and he then proceeded to our bathroom.   Much of the rest of the story is as it was conveyed to me.

Mike entered the bathroom and grabbed a bar of soap and got it wet.  He called Kayla over and told her to stick out her tongue.  He then rubbed the soap against her tongue and told her this is what we do to try to clean a potty mouth.  He then put the bar in her mouth and told her to hold it there and follow him to her room.  He had her sit up on her bed with her back against her headboard.  He took out two pairs of cuffs from her toy chest.  He cuffed each raised arm to her bed posts.   He told her that he would return in fifteen minutes and that he expected the bar of soap to still be in her mouth, else she would earn additional spankings. He then left her there.

Mike told me that Kayla was in her room being punished and that he wanted me to go in there in fifteen minutes.  I am to remind her about not cussing and that if I heard her cussing again and Mike was not around, Mike expected me to repeat this punishment plus, he would administer an additional punishment when he was able.   I was then to uncuffed her and she would follow me to our bathroom, where Mike was waiting. 

Before removing the soap, Mike told Kayla to bite down as hard as she could and he expected to see deep teeth marks in the bar.  Kayla did so, so much that when he told her to open her mouth, the bar stuck to the upper teeth and he had to push down on it to remove it.  He again had her stick out her tongue and he rubbed more soap on it.  He then said she could spit it out but could not rinse.  He continued to lecture her, saying he hoped the next time she felt the need to cuss that she would remember this.  He then said something very shocking to me. 

“Kayla, I’ll let you rinse out with water now, but if there is a next time, you will be rinsing with something more fitting of a potty mouth.  If you want to have a potty mouth, then your mouth will be treated like one.”  My eyes got a big and I was shocked.  While neither mine nor Kayla’s contract forbids piss-play or whatever you want to call it, it is something none of us actually have done.   

Kayla rinsed with water and then Mike had her bend over as he pulled the hair brush out of the drawer.  He spanked her quickly about ten or fifteen times very hard.  Then went into the Closing Ceremony (our after care procedure) and that was that.   He told Kayla to shower off as she had soap all down her chest and belly. 

When Kayla emerged we asked her how she was feeling.  She said she really needed something to drink (non-alcoholic) to help with the taste and that she felt calm and happy.  She said she appreciated the level of punishment, especially the restraints. She had expressed to us several times that she had a desire to be restrained (tied/cuffed).  She did say it tasted terrible and if it doesn’t keep her from cussing, then she doesn’t know what will.  She admitted that she has the habit of letting the F-word fly and looks forward to putting that habit behind her.  She thanked both of us, not just for what occurred that morning, but for embracing her needs.    

She drank a lot throughout the day and even this morning said she could still taste the soap.  I never thought of using a good old-fashion soaping. Good for Mike for thinking of it.  Hopes are high that his choice of punishments will leave a lasting and positive impression. 

This leads me into my next post where I want to focus more on Mike and being a Dom, at least from my perspective.  Although the fringe benefits are phenomenal (hee-hee), being a Dom has its’ challenges and requires awareness, empathy, forethought, and fortitude. Plus, you often have to make snap decisions that go just far enough without going too far, or go farther then ever before, but again, without going too far.  

As for what Mike proposed for the next step of a potty-mouth punishment, that’s going pretty far in my book.  I specifically asked Kayla what she thought about that and her response was simply, “Whatever Sir determines is best.”    She’s got the submissive mind-set down pretty well –  all in less than a week!  

NEXT: 106. Wandering of Thoughts