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119. The Stick of Truth, Part III (Severe spanking)

sotpart3

This series of three posts are unlike what I typically write about.  I originally wrote a post that simply reflected on these events and I peppered that reflection with some of the details.  When I reviewed what I originally wrote, it felt like it didn’t really convey the experience very well.  Thus, I decided to first write about what happened in great detail.  Then, I will share the reflections and lessons learned.  So here is Part III of those details!.
PUNISHMENT CONTINUED
In the morning Mike instructed me to get J off to school as usual and that he would be going into work a little late.  Kayla said she needed to use the bathroom.  He told her to leave the blindfold on and he led her to the restroom.  Once done he returned her to the bed and removed all the covers.  He then tied her to the bed.

Our bed is not the most conducive to restraints.   The only way to make it work well is to be completely splayed out, like in a giant “X.”   One arm on one side of the headboard, one on the other, and ankles to each side of the footboard.   It takes some extra rope to make it all reach as it is a king sized bed.  He again applied the suckers to her breasts and said that she would remain there until I returned from taking  J to school.  I woke up J and Mike joined us for breakfast

Upon walking into the house after dropping J off at school, Mike called out for me from the bedroom.  When I entered the room I saw that he had Kayla laying on her stomach and he was finishing up tying the last restraint.  She was still in the “X” position but now on her stomach instead of her back (the suckers were removed).  Mike had eight or nine different spanking implements laid out on the bed alongside Kayla.

Mike told me to quickly pick one.  I grabbed one of the short wooden paddles, shaped a bit like a ping-pong paddle but a little bigger.  He took it from me and gave Kayla three very hard swats on each cheek.  He then gave me the paddle and told me to give her 10 in row on each check with the same intensity.  If any were not to his liking he would administer 5 additional ones to Kayla.  I gave her the 10 on each cheek and fortunately did so to his satisfaction.  He then had me choose and repeat with another paddle, then another, then another.  That’s 40 now on each cheek.  Kayla was crying.

I had finally had enough and asked Mike what he was doing.  He sternly said, “I have Kayla’s trust, don’t I have yours?”  

I thought for a second and said, “Yes, Sir.”  I still didn’t know for sure what this was all about, but, Mike has never let me down before and I do trust him.  I just wasn’t sure if all the stuff with Kayla desiring more dominance had perhaps clouded his judgment.  (Remember my post regarding the Stanford Experiment Post 114. Resist! And remain Kinky!.) 

With that, Mike told to me choose another implement, and then another.  She’s now received 60 on each cheek, all with a pretty hard intensity.  The only implement left was the cane.  We only got the cane because Kayla asked for it.  It has been used before (on both of us) but not after this long of a severe spanking session.  

Mike pointed to the top of her buttocks and said he wanted to see a stripe “here”, then pointed to two other areas and said “here” and “here.”  Kayla cried very loudly with each one.  Mike then continued to point lower on her buttocks and all the way to her upper thighs, “Here, here, and here.”   When done he said he wasn’t satisfied with the stripes and to repeat all six strokes.   Before I could finish all six, Kayla called out her “yellow” safe word, which meant we would pause or change things up. 

Mike said “Okay, Kayla, let’s give you a few minutes and you tell us when you are ready to proceed.”  He called me over and whispered in my ear, “Get the prison strap and I want you to keep spanking her with it until she uses her safe-word again.  We are going to continue until she calls “Red.”

My thoughts went to the few times Mike brought me to my limits.  It probably would have been hard for someone else had to stand by and watch me at that time, yet, I look back fondly on my punishments that ended with me crying “Red.”  (my safeword is actually “Mercy”).   I knew I had to put aside my protective instincts when it comes to Kayla and recognize that she thrives in being submissive

My mind was still swirling with exactly what led to this.  Was there something else that happened when Kayla was talking with Mike?   Was this all just because of the cussing?   Why was Mike having me administer the spankings, both the night before and this morning?  I knew there was more to this than I understood at the time.

“I am ready, Sir,” Kayla said.  The thoughts in my head then shifted to whether I should strike hard with the prison strap, hoping to get to red faster, or get there over a longer series of lighter strikes?  Her ass was already fiery red and purplish splotches,  and the stripes from the cane showed boldly.  I decided to start pretty hard and hoped she called “red” soon.  She cried very loudly with each strike.  I just blocked it out as best I could and kept striking her every few seconds.  I didn’t keep count, but she took a lot, maybe ten,  before she again called “yellow.”  

I wished Mike would just tell her that this wasn’t going to stop until she said “Red.”  I was concerned that Kayla had never been pushed to her limit, and may not recognize it and may take more than she physically should allow.   

“I am ready, Sir.”  Mike then told Kayla that we would be going back to the cane and they would be harder than before.  Kayla was still crying heavily but managed an “Okay, Sir.”  This time Mike took the cane and gave her a very hard strike that loudly popped when it hit.  Kayla let out a scream followed quickly by “Red, red, red!”

Mike untied her and held her for some time.  She continued to sob as he held her and she was saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”   Her butt looked worse than anything I had ever received.  Mike calmly told her there was nothing to apologize for, and that everything was okay.  He didn’t let go of her until her sobs subsided.

THE LECTURE
Mike called me over and told me to get on my knees in front of the two of them.  Mike was standing with Kayla’s head still buried in his chest, tears still coming from her eyes but she was no longer wailing.  Mike then began his lecture.

“Kayla shared with me that you told her to not tell me something, that you felt it would be best if you told me whatever it is, versus having Kayla tell me, is that true?”

“Yes, Sir,” I responded

“While you may have had good intentions, it seems to me that you forgot or felt it unimportant that we already addressed the two of you conspiring to break rules (See Post 109. The Tuck, The Spank, and the Slumber).  Which one was it, did you forget, or just felt it was unimportant?”

I’ve learned that these aren’t rhetorical questions and he expects me to either choose one or state another.   In addition, I knew the questions wouldn’t stop until I quit trying to justify breaking a rule.  “Sir, I know it is important to not encourage Kayla to break her rules, or to break mine.  And yes, I did feel that was less important than me talking to you first.”

“So, not only did you encourage Kayla to break a rule, but then Kayla accommodated your request.  That is why Kayla earned this Reward, and she will earn such a Reward anytime this happens.  I told you both before that this type of Transgression was serious, and I should not worry about the two you working together to break rules or conspire to keep a transgression secret.  I expect both of you to help prevent each other from breaking a rule.  And, both of you should fully expect the other to tell me of any transgression they witnessed.”

Mike added, “And Jen, as Kayla is submissive to you, it is even more egregious for you to put Kayla in such a predicament.  You should show greater leadership and set a better example.  This punishment was intended to give Kayla something she would not forget so that she would think twice the next time you did anything to encourage her to break a rule.”

Then he added, “If something like this ever happens again, whoever instigates the rule breaking will be the one to administer the punishment on the one who went along with it.  Do you both understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” we both responded.

So now, Jen, tell me what it was that was so important that you needed to tell me about it before Kayla? “

DOH!   After all of this, we had yet to address the very issue that started it all! 

Bfore we get to that, let me say a few things about the experience up until that point.

REFLECTION
What I write here doesn’t do justice to the amount of discussion and reflection that occurred.  Simply put, this experience helped me realize that I need to think of Kayla as an adult who not only chooses to be submissive, but thrives in her submission.  In addition, I need to dispel my preconceived notions of what it was going to be like with Kayla in the household.

I shared before that “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” (Post 81. Expectations).  Before Kayla moved in I tried hard to get everyone on the same page with clear expectations, but sometimes you just can’t predict where things will go.  At the time, Kayla wasn’t sure of her needs or how her desires would evolve.  Despite her honesty with what she was feeling and thinking at the time, she now has a much better sense of herself and realizes her needs are not going to be fulfilled with simply following “Jen’s DD.”  She needs “Kayla’s DD.”  

KAYLA’S NEEDS
This experience told me I still didn’t completely “get it” regarding reconciling my needs for domestic discipline with Kayla’s needs.  I first wrote about this in Post 111. DD Jenny Style vs. Kayla Style.   Kayla has now clearly articulated her needs and expectations.  In her words, “She is Mike’s.”

She says she feels pain when she is not submissive, not honest, and not completely surrendered to Mike.  She says the emotional pain of letting him down is worse than any spanking.  She feels that is why she cries so much when she is punished.  It isn’t the physical pain causing the tears, it is the emotional pain.  She strives to be fully observant to all his wants and needs without thought of her own desires.  I disrespected her feelings and needs by asking her to keep something from Mike.

I now understand and accept that Kayla’s relationship with Mike has nothing to do with Jen’s Domestic Discipline.  While there is some overlap in acts of service and punishments, her relationship with Mike is clearly Mike and Kayla as Dominant/Submissive, and even some Master/Slave overtones.

MY NEEDS
I have never been threatened by Kayla’s needs.  That is still the case.  Her needs don’t influence what I need or get out of being submissive.  They don’t change what Mike expects and deserves from me.  I enjoy and thrive within the domestic discipline that has evolved between me and Mike.  I also love and admire him for his added responsibility of being a Dom to Kayla.  It actually turns me on to watch him in that role.   

My hopes for Kayla have always been that she find whatever it is that fulfills her.  Those hopes haven’t changed.  I will continue to talk with her to help ensure she is honest with her self assessments regarding what is fulfilling.  “Self-knowledge” is so important.  As we already learned in just two months, your own understanding of your needs can change over time.   If you don’t stay in touch with yourself, it is hard to recognize your needs have changed.  And even harder to voice those changes to those around you.  Kayla had actually been trying to voice this for a while, but hadn’t quite found the words to effectively communicate her needs.   The events regarding this punishment allowed her to clearly articulate that she feels the most fulfilled with her own D/s relationship with Mike and not simply a copy of my DD.  

Oh, and Kayla doesn’t hold any grudge for me “getting her into trouble” and believe me, I will make sure to never “conspire” with her on anything.  And I continue to be her “Ma’am.”

OH. . . THE SOAPING
I decided against providing details only because this post was long enough, but yes, Mike followed through and she got a mouth soaping for cussing.   It was complete with the “pee rinsing,” her first.    

NEXT: 120. Am I a feminist? (Epic Rant)

 

 

   

 

 

 

117. The Stick of Truth, Part I (A Discipline Trilogy)

truthstick

This event occurred two weeks ago, but I needed some time to better reflect and reconcile this before I was comfortable posting about it.  I want to share a lot of the details, so will need to break this up into more than one post.  

Last week, before their Orlando trip, on a day when Mike was at work I overheard Kayla talking to a friend on her phone and she let several expletives fly.  Cussing is not allowed, and something we addressed with Kayla before (Post 102.Sharing Salacious Spanking Stories and Post 105. Potty Mouth).

I gestured to Kayla that she needed to get off the phone and she mouthed “Yes M’am” and told her friend goodbye.  I immediately recalled Mike’s instructions to me if she were to cuss again and he was not home.  I was to repeat the punishment he gave her, and then he would administer another when he got home.

We were both already naked, as we are apt to be on a school day, so I had her immediately bend over and I spanked her several times by hand.  I then recalled that Mike spanked her with his belt, and since he asked me to repeat his punishment, I felt that the belt was necessary to be compliant with his orders.  So, I stopped and told her to go get one of his belts and return to me.  She soon returned.  I don’t know how many Mike actually was expecting, but I thought 20 was about right, so that’s what I gave her.

I then had her follow me to the bathroom and did a soap punishment akin to what Mike did previously.  I then talked to her about what Mike had said the last time she cussed.  He said that the next time she cussed he wouldn’t just have her rinse with water.  He said that if she had a potty mouth, he would treat it as a potty, which clearly meant piss, although he didn’t use that word.   I mentioned before that this wouldn’t violate any hard limits Kayla has (or that I have), but I really have a hard time with being part of that kind of punishment. For me it crosses a line from submissive to humiliation.  I talked to Kayla about it and while she had reservations, she said she was prepared for whatever Mike had in mind.  I did not share the same thoughts.

LET ME TELL MIKE
I told her I was tempted to not tell Mike and just let this go.  She was quick to remind me we both were punished before for “conspiring” to break a rule (109.  The Tuck. The Spank. The Slumber) and keeping this from him would be a major no-no.  I told her I just don’t want to be part of whatever Mike has in mind if he follows through with what he said – and I was certain he would follow through.   

I told her I didn’t like the idea of keeping it from him, but I disliked what was in store for her more.  She tried to reassure me that she could handle it and wouldn’t feel humiliated. She said she feels she is Mike’s, and will do whatever he commands, short of her hard limits.  Her hard limits are simply no scat, no blood, and nothing that she feels could cause scaring or injury.  I know Kayla is up for just about anything, and it seems so dumb of me to object, but I couldn’t help what I was feeling.

TO DRINK, OR NOT TO DRINK?
I suggested we read up on the topic.  I laughed when I came across a biblical reference that some use to support the practice of drinking urine.  Proverbs 5:15 says “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”  While I would interpret that passage differently, it is no more a stretch to read more into that passage than how many people creatively interpret other passages to justify their actions.  Biblical or not, apparently urine is 95% water and has no medicinal value nor health effects- but I am not so sure how thorough this has actually been studied.  And what Mike was inferring was simply rinsing — but still — for whatever reason, I object.

I shared with Kayla that I was also concerned with her ever escalating submission.  We talk frequently about this and she reminded me that in her mind her submission is not “ever escalating.” In her mind it is Mike’s dominance, and somewhat mine, that is needing to escalate to match her desires.  Thus far I do feel confident that Kayla is not taking on anything she can’t handle, and everything to date has seemed to help her and she is happy, energized, and fulfilled.  I just don’t want that to change or want to move too fast.  She is not even two months into this lifestyle. 

She reassured me that she could handle this and that she would not hesitate to use her safe word to put a stop to any action she was concerned with.  She was very firm in her conviction.  She said she truly accepts her complete surrender to Mike and in her words, “Negotiations ended with the contract.”  Whether she liked the idea of this particular punishment or not, she finds it abhorrent to not obey.  I have to give her credit for her commitment and submissive mind set as these were the strongest words she has used thus far to explain her mind set.  None-the-less, I still asked her not to say anything to Mike as I wanted an opportunity to talk to him first.

It was normal that when Mike got home from work that one of us, usually me, would follow him to the room and talk with him while he changed.  I often use that time to tell Mike about events of the day including any punishments that Kayla earned that day.   Just in case I was in the middle of something and it was going to be Kayla that walked with him to the room, I asked her to not to bring up the cussing incident and let me talk to him about it later.  Well, sure enough, when Mike came home I was helping J with something in his room and Mike had already asked Kayla to follow him.

KAYLA SPILLS THE BEANS
Kayla tried to accommodate my request, but just couldn’t keep it from Mike.  I wasn’t there, but this is how it was explained to me.  It started off with Kayla telling Mike that there was an “event” that occurred where I had to punish her but that I wanted to talk to him about it first.

In hindsight I agree that was appropriate for Kayla to say.  She wasn’t trying to keep anything from Mike and was just letting him know that I preferred to talk to him about it first.  Mike could have simply told Kayla to spill the beans, or simply said fine, he would talk to me.  But, no self respecting Dom would do that.  No, Mike saw the opportunity to make a point with Kayla.  

He asked Kayla why she thought he should talk to me first.  Kayla said that I wanted to discuss the punishment I gave her so that anything he added to it would recognize what she already received.

He asked her what she did.  Kayla said, “Ma’am wanted to be the one to tell you, Sir, but since you asked, I will still tell you if you still want me to.”  She was trying to meet her commitments to Mike while not disregarding what I asked her.

Noticing that Kayla was uneasy, Mike decided to escalate her uneasiness and asked her what she thought about my request.  Kayla admitted that she did not like it and added, “I want to tell you everything and will tell you everything but Ma’am asked me to allow her to be the one to speak with you first so I agreed.  Of course, now that you know her request, it is up to you and I will tell you everything if you wish.”

Mike continued with his questions.  “How do you think Jen would feel if you just told me all about it?”  Kayla said, “I think she would be disappointed because she thinks it would be better for everyone if she gets to explain things, but, I also know she would understand that I needed to answer you.”

Mike then asked, So, Kayla, do you think it would be better for everyone to have her explain it to me first?”

Kayla: “No, Sir, it would not be better for everyone.” 
Mike:  “Would it be better for you?”
Kayla:  “No, Sir, it would not be better for me.”
Mike: “Would it be better for me?”
Kayla: “No, Sir, it would not be better for you.”
Mike: “Would it be better for Jen?”
Kayla: “Yes, Sir, it would be better for Jen as that is what she wants.”

Mike continued, “Do you believe that in order for me to trust you that you should tell me everything, without filters from Jen or anyone else?”

“Yes, Sir, I should tell you everything.” she replied.

“Do you believe you are fulfilling your commitments to me by withholding something simply because Jen asked you?”

“No, Sir, I am not fulfilling my commitments when I withhold something from you, no matter what the reason.” Her lips began to tremble as she felt she was stuck and let Mike down and was also letting me down. 

Mike recapped, “So Kayla, you would risk my losing trust in you by withholding something from me simply because Jen asked.  Even though you felt it would not be better for everyone, you still agreed to have Jen tell me instead of you?”

Kayla said, “Sir, I didn’t agree to withhold anything.  I simply agreed to allow her to be the one to talk to you first, and I said now that you know what Ma’am wanted, it is clearly still up to you and I will gladly tell you if you just ask.”

Mike responded, “You didn’t answer my question.  It is a yes or no question.  Would you risk losing my trust by withholding something from me, yes, or no?”

“No sir, I would not risk that,” she replied. 

Mike then added, “So not only did you risk that, but you also went against your own judgement that this was not better for everyone.   Is it that your commitment to tell me everything is unimportant to you?” 

“No, Sir, all my commitments are very important to me, especially that one.”
.
Mike then asked, “And what again does that particular commitment say about what you are to share with me?

Kayla quickly answered, “Sir, I am to share everything, my day, my thoughts, my doubts, my desires.”

“Does it say that you only share them if I ask you?”

“No Sir, I share them without asking,” she again quickly answered. 

“Then do you agree you failed in your commitment by waiting for me to ask you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Yes, Sir, what?”

“Yes, Sir, I failed in my commitment to you”

Mike ordered her to undress, go to her room, and stand in the corner and he would be in there when he finished changing.   He soon came into her room and had her bend over. He lubed up and inserted an anal plug, then he attached the “three clamps.”  This is a clamp for each nipple and one for the clit, connected by a chain.  He told her to lay on her bed and he cuffed her wrists to the bedpost above her head.  He also put the ball gag and a blindfold on her.  He gave the chain a few tugs and said he would return after he had his dinner.  Mike never asked her anything about what earned her punishment or why I asked to to be the one to talk to him first.  

Mike came to dinner and said Kayla wasn’t feeling well and was resting in her room.  I could tell there was more to it and that this explanation was for J’s sake. 

More on my next post!

NEXT:  The Stick of Truth, Part II

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105. Cleaning a Potty Mouth

soapmouth

Wow.  Two posts in one day!   Nice.

I shared in Post 102: Sharing Salacious Spanking Stories that I spanked Kayla for cursing.
I also said I had other spanking stories to share, however, a punishment later topped those stories in my mind and thus I will share this one with you.  Yesterday Kayla was again punished for cursing, but this time by Mike and it was more than just a spanking. 

On New Year’s Eve my two older son’s took our youngest out for day at the zoo, so that left Mike, me, and Kayla alone for the morning and afternoon.  Kayla and I remained clothed in the event they came back unexpectedly.  After Mike did his morning inspection,  Kayla earned an Immediate Reward as he found several infractions with the organizing of her room.  They were very minor things, such as some hangers not facing the right direction or not spaced properly, or finding dust on the ceiling fan.   Kayla wanted strictness – she got it.   As soon as our kids were out of the house he gave her quite a few spankings due to the many infractions.   I kept look out in the event the kids drove up unexpectedly.   She cried as she is apt to do, but recovered quickly and we went about the morning.

Not much later as we were all in the kitchen, Kayla suddenly let’s out a “Oh F*ck!”  She stubbed her toe against chair.  She quickly said, “I am sorry, Sir, sorry Ma’am, I didn’t mean to.”  Mike lectured her as this was the second time she dropped the F-bomb.  Cussing is a habit she hadn’t shown around us before, but clearly the F-word is her go-to when she is shocked.  Mike had her drop her pants and he pulled off his belt and spanked her.  Again, I went to be the look-out in case the kids came home.   Mike then told Kayla to take all her clothes off and he again spanked her with his belt.  He then instructed her to go to our bathroom and find a corner to stand in and he would be there in a bit.   Mike told me to alert him if the kids pulled up, and he then proceeded to our bathroom.   Much of the rest of the story is as it was conveyed to me.

Mike entered the bathroom and grabbed a bar of soap and got it wet.  He called Kayla over and told her to stick out her tongue.  He then rubbed the soap against her tongue and told her this is what we do to try to clean a potty mouth.  He then put the bar in her mouth and told her to hold it there and follow him to her room.  He had her sit up on her bed with her back against her headboard.  He took out two pairs of cuffs from her toy chest.  He cuffed each raised arm to her bed posts.   He told her that he would return in fifteen minutes and that he expected the bar of soap to still be in her mouth, else she would earn additional spankings. He then left her there.

Mike told me that Kayla was in her room being punished and that he wanted me to go in there in fifteen minutes.  I am to remind her about not cussing and that if I heard her cussing again and Mike was not around, Mike expected me to repeat this punishment plus, he would administer an additional punishment when he was able.   I was then to uncuffed her and she would follow me to our bathroom, where Mike was waiting. 

Before removing the soap, Mike told Kayla to bite down as hard as she could and he expected to see deep teeth marks in the bar.  Kayla did so, so much that when he told her to open her mouth, the bar stuck to the upper teeth and he had to push down on it to remove it.  He again had her stick out her tongue and he rubbed more soap on it.  He then said she could spit it out but could not rinse.  He continued to lecture her, saying he hoped the next time she felt the need to cuss that she would remember this.  He then said something very shocking to me. 

“Kayla, I’ll let you rinse out with water now, but if there is a next time, you will be rinsing with something more fitting of a potty mouth.  If you want to have a potty mouth, then your mouth will be treated like one.”  My eyes got a big and I was shocked.  While neither mine nor Kayla’s contract forbids piss-play or whatever you want to call it, it is something none of us actually have done.   

Kayla rinsed with water and then Mike had her bend over as he pulled the hair brush out of the drawer.  He spanked her quickly about ten or fifteen times very hard.  Then went into the Closing Ceremony (our after care procedure) and that was that.   He told Kayla to shower off as she had soap all down her chest and belly. 

When Kayla emerged we asked her how she was feeling.  She said she really needed something to drink (non-alcoholic) to help with the taste and that she felt calm and happy.  She said she appreciated the level of punishment, especially the restraints. She had expressed to us several times that she had a desire to be restrained (tied/cuffed).  She did say it tasted terrible and if it doesn’t keep her from cussing, then she doesn’t know what will.  She admitted that she has the habit of letting the F-word fly and looks forward to putting that habit behind her.  She thanked both of us, not just for what occurred that morning, but for embracing her needs.    

She drank a lot throughout the day and even this morning said she could still taste the soap.  I never thought of using a good old-fashion soaping. Good for Mike for thinking of it.  Hopes are high that his choice of punishments will leave a lasting and positive impression. 

This leads me into my next post where I want to focus more on Mike and being a Dom, at least from my perspective.  Although the fringe benefits are phenomenal (hee-hee), being a Dom has its’ challenges and requires awareness, empathy, forethought, and fortitude. Plus, you often have to make snap decisions that go just far enough without going too far, or go farther then ever before, but again, without going too far.  

As for what Mike proposed for the next step of a potty-mouth punishment, that’s going pretty far in my book.  I specifically asked Kayla what she thought about that and her response was simply, “Whatever Sir determines is best.”    She’s got the submissive mind-set down pretty well –  all in less than a week!  

NEXT: 106. Wandering of Thoughts