Tag Archives: severe spanking

163. Domestic Discipline Antipatico?

163

I stated in my last post that I would share details of the punishment – or series of punishments in this case.  I am not a writer of erotica.  I’ve shared before that I prefer to write about my thoughts on my transformational journey versus sexually stimulating prose.  Sorry if my writing lacks any build up, climax, etc.  It’s not erotica, it’s just the facts.  I’ll share those facts here, and then “debrief” in my next post re my ruminations regarding this incident.

I want to mention that I was going to exclude some of these details, but Mike told me I must write about all aspects of this punishment.  You’ll soon read about an element of punishment I don’t like to share regarding urine.  I don’t know why that is since I share everything else and given that this is pretty anonymous, why should I feel the need to omit it?  In any event,  here you go. . .

PUNISHMENT DRIP
Picking up where I left off — About an hour later Mike came in after he finished dinner.  He told me that he and Kayla would attend to J the rest of the night and once J was asleep he would address “my situation.”  As that could be a several more hours, he said he would check in with me periodically and “adjust” how I would wait for him.  He told me he did not want to hear anything from me – I was to remain silent and simply comply.

He brought a 32 ounce cup of what he called “half and half.”  He said if I needed tea so badly, then I would have it, and to help me think of him as I drank it, he added a little something, that, let’s just say rhymes with tea.  Having to drink his urine was not a first for me, but it is something that I have rarely been subject to.  He had me quickly guzzle all 32 ounces.  He then put nipple suckers on me, pumping them tightly.  He put in a butt plug, had me sit in a chair, and then he cuffed my arms behind the chair.  Not intolerable, but uncomfortable to say the least.   Oh, and he put the bit gag back on me and left the room.

Another drip of punishment —  Sometime later he came back in.  I was a drooling mess and so happy to see him as I was at a high level of discomfort – my butt from not being able to shift much in my seat, from the long feeling of fullness from the plug, and my nipples had past the burning stage and were well into a numb throbbing stage where I could feel my heartbeat in my nipples.  

He removed the gag and the suckers and immediately applied clamps to my nipples.  That really burned!  The shot of pain brought tears to my eyes.  Not emotional, “oh what I have I done tears.”  Just plain old, “OMG that hurts,” tears.  I was going to call out my safe word but didn’t have to because based on my reaction Mike quickly removed the clamps.   Mike said, “I’ll think of something else.”

He uncuffed me, had me stand up, and he removed the butt plug.  He had me drink another large glass of tea with whatever pee he was able to add at the moment.  He then had me put my tack bra on.  He led me to the bathroom and told me to lay down on my stomach.  He then cuffed my hands behind my back, lathered up a bar of soap, and stuck it in my mouth.   He said if I needed to go to the bathroom I was to just go there where I lay and he left the room.   After the two large glasses of drink and not having gone to the bathroom for some time before this all began, I knew I wasn’t going to hold it for long.

Another drip —  Miraculously by the time Mike came in to “adjust” things, I still had not gone, but I had to pee something fierce.  He stood me up, removed the soap, let me rinse a bit, then had me drink yet more tea pee.  He then told me to get back down on the floor. He told me to pee, and as I desperately needed to do so, I didn’t hesitate to comply.  While the release felt good, it was very uncomfortable as I was basically laying in it as it pooled around me.   He then left again.

Yet another drip —  He returned fairly quickly, maybe 10 minutes, but it felt like forever.  He stood me up and uncuffed me, had me bend over and put my hands on the sink, and he paddled me countless times very hard on my butt as my torso and legs dripped with pee.  (J was taking a bath in our other bathroom and thus far removed from the sounds).   Mike must have spanked me about 30 or 40 times.  He then had me stand and he squeezed my breasts, pushing the tacks in more than they already were.  He then had me remove the bra, which required a bit of tugging as several of the tacks were deeply embedded. 

He told me to lay back down on the floor in the pool of pee, he cuffed my arms again behind my back and put a bar of soap in my mouth.  My breasts burned a bit as the pee on the floor came in contact with some of the scratches and small punctures on my breasts.  It was only a few minutes later that Kayla came in.  She told me I was not to speak and Mike had given her instructions to clean me up.  She removed the soap from my mouth, had me walk into the shower, and she rinsed me off.  She told me to stay there in the shower until Mike returned.  I stood there dripping wet, a bit cold, and ready to get this over with.

Mike had me bend over in the shower and he caned me about a dozen times, very hard.  He followed that up with about a dozen more with a hairbrush he pulled from the drawer.   He dried me off and led me to Kayla’s room.  He had my journal next to her bed.  He told me the punishment was not done.  I needed to journal and then I would sleep alone in Kayla’s room that night and the next two nights.  I would be spanked “very hard” each night before going to bed.  In addition, as a reminder that I’d rather be drinking water than piss, any time he needed to pee over those three days I would have drink it.

I could probably dedicated an entire post to my thoughts on piss drinking.  I don’t like it, and have given it strong consideration to adding it as  a “hard limit.”   I’ve resisted as I want to challenge myself before simply prohibiting it.  After this experience, I just may be added it to the hard limits list.  The taste of pee can range from tasteless, like water, to putrid.  More often than not it is on the tolerable side, but not always.  Anyway, not a topic that you probably want to know much about, so enough said.

So the next three nights were as Mike decreed.  On the morning of the fourth night we had an official “closing ceremony” regarding the punishment.   At my next Maintenance Session Mike asked me to talk about the incident, both what it was that I was feeling that led up to my “bratting” and about the punishment.

A quick aside — Mike knows I don’t like the term “bratting” as it sounds so immature and silly, but if the shoe fits!  I accept that indeed that was an accurate term as I knowingly and with forethought made the decision to disobey.

Anyway, I’ll share my reflections on the next post.  

164.  Reflecting on Behavior and Punishment

 

157. A Severe Punishment for Two

157

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared a punishment story, so as promised in my last post, here you go!

This one is about Kayla (well not entirely as you will find out).  I know as per Post 148, that Mike decreed that I was to no longer punish Kayla.  Well, that lasted about six weeks, but perhaps may last longer next time.   

THE TRANSGRESSION
Our son was visiting his cousins, Mike was out running errands, and Kayla and I were at Donna’s, just hanging out.  Donna was sharing some of the things that John does to help around the house, “just because he wants to”, and of course Kayla was quick to brag on Mike.  She proudly explained that Mike doesn’t have to do any chores, but he will occasionally empty the dishwasher or sweep the floor.  Kayla then added, “and I know when Mike empties the dishwasher because he has a bad habit of leaving every cupboard and drawer open.”

My jaw dropped.  You see, one of Kayla’s Acts of Service is to always talk complimentary of Mike to others – never criticize him in front of others.  Kayla’s excuse was, “It’s just Donna.”  I didn’t accept that.  This was not in keeping with a submissive mindset and is something she not only agreed to adhere to, but it was her idea to do so.  As such, she should know better and her flippant retort made it worse.   

I felt that Mike would want to immediately address this.  I sent him a short text and he called me.  I put Kayla on the phone and had her explain it.  That alone made her cry.   Mike then put me back on the phone.  I  asked him that if he felt this should be quickly dealt with that I was willing to handle it.  He paused and then said he didn’t want me to do anything if I felt it would “interfere with my peace.”  I told him it would not, so long as I knew this is what he wanted.  He then said yes, he wanted me to spank her a “sufficient” number of times and then Kayla should be “soaped” until he got home.  

JEN SPANKS KAYLA
I borrowed a paddle from Donna and spanked Kayla right there in front of Donna.  And to be honest, I spanked her really hard.  She was crying, as she is apt to do from a spanking.  She’s always been a crier, and while she doesn’t cry as much or as loudly as she used to, she was crying pretty good with this spanking.  I then sent her home and told her to start writing lines until I got there.  “I will always speak positively of Sir in front of others.”

JEN SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
I waited about twenty minutes and then left Donna’s and returned home.  I was shocked again to find her writing her lines but fully clothed.  It is a long established rule that we disrobe when we enter the house if there are no kids expected.  I guess I was on a roll as I had her disrobe and spanked her again.  Again, very hard, and again, she cried.

SOAPING
I led her to the bathroom, got the soap, and lathered up her tongue and mouth and then had her bite down on the bar and hold it in her mouth.  I told her to kneel in the corner and stay there until Mike got home.  

Mike came home about forty minutes later.  That’s a long time to hold soap in your mouth.  He talked to me about what happened and got an update.  He then waited.  He knew Kayla heard him come home, but he didn’t immediately attend to her.  He waiting another fifteen minutes, so in total, it was an hour in the corner with soap in her mouth. He told me to stay out of the room but to come in after fifteen minutes. 

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA
I didn’t witness it but Mike spanked her for almost all that fifteen minutes before I came into the room.  Kayla was sobbing and a drooling soapy mess as she still had the soap in her mouth as I walked in and Mike continued spanking her.  I assumed my spanking her would be it, but clearly, it was not.  I felt bad because I really spanked her hard and would have probably gone a little easier had I known Mike would spank her again.

Mike then told Kayla to finish writing lines until she got to 100.  As she sat down to write, Mike then turned to me and said, “We have another issue to address.”

MIKE SPANKS JEN
Mike said that he wasn’t happy that I spanked Kayla for not undressing when she entered the house.  He said I should have reported this to him first before taking any action.  He reminded me that since our
therapy sessionI’ve actually achieved the mindset I was looking for (as shared on my prior post as well as two posts ago.   Now I put that at risk by spanking Kayla without his permission.   

So he spanked me using a thin bamboo paddle.  He said it would be one spanking for each line Kayla had to write.  100!  He stopped at 90 and had Kayla administer the last 10. He told her that if the swats were not to his liking that she would be in for 100 more.  Kayla didn’t disappoint!  Ouch!  He then had Kayla give me a half-dozen swats on each palm with a ruler.  He told me perhaps I’d think of this the next time I feel compelled to raise a hand to Kayla’s ass without his permission.  He then had me stand in the corner until Kayla finished her lines.  

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
He wasn’t quite done with Kayla’s punishment.  As part of our writing lines punishments, we may have to write additional lines and/or get spankings for any mistakes or sloppiness in the lines we wrote.  Mike found a few lines that were not to his liking, and spanked Kayla again.   In all, the spankings she got over the prior two hours were probably the hardest spankings she had received in a long time, and there were a lot of them.  So we were in the same boat.  Very sore and red asses!  In fact, my redness was colored with several purples splotches.  

AFTER CARE
We then had a collective After Care with Mike.  He had Kayla apologize to me for behaving in such a way that required immediate action on my part.  And I apologized to her for spanking her without Mike’s permission.  And that was that, all was forgiven.

POST SCRIPT
So what did I feel about what happened?  Nothing out of the ordinary, just a sore bum!    That’s just the life of a submissive.  I feel Mike acted totally appropriately as clearly both Kayla and I misbehaved.   

Ha, I find it funny that I am okay using the word “behave.”  I would have previously written something like, “…both Kayla and I failed to adhere to our commitments.”    I would have felt “behave” was juvenile or demeaning in some way.   Not anymore.  It is an appropriate word because submission is all about my behaviors, so when I submit according to my commitment, I am behaving.   Simple as that.   I think my finding comfort in some of the vocabulary terms that I previously hated is another sign of my progression with a submissive mindset.    

Just another example of how words are power, which makes our upcoming contract renegotiation interesting – but that’s for another post.  

I marvel in reflection at how definitive our
closing ceremonyis regarding a punishment.  No matter how intense the punishment, how emotional either I or Kayla gets, or whatever the circumstances are, when it is over, it is over.  All is truly forgiven and no one dwells on it.  

That was evidenced by how Kayla reacted afterwards.  She looked at me a bit later and said with a wry smile, “Man, I won’t do that again.”  To which I replied as I hugged her, “That makes two of us.”  We never talked of it again as there is simply no need.    

NEXT:  158. Jen’s Simple Tips and my Golden Rule of Domestic Discipline

 

156. A Quiet Mind

156

In two months our Contract is up for renegotiation and will mark two and half years of Domestic Discipline.   As I start to think about the changes I want in the contract, it makes me reflect on my journey thus far.   I haven’t had a good esoteric ramble in a while.  Not sure this will qualify, but here it goes. 

MY MIND IS QUIET
I haven’t posted much lately (although, hey, this makes three in two days!).  While true it was due in part to our summer household schedule, I believe a lot of it also has to do with the fact my mind is quiet.  I read through my prior posts and at times I can see where I was struggling to reconcile my need for submission with the way I was raised.  As I made breakthroughs towards that reconciliation, I posted.  As I did something that surprised me, I posted.  As I learned something about myself, I posted.  As I became more and more confident in my submission, I posted.  

Now, I feel reconciled.  As I shared in Post 154, I feel triumphant.

It seems that it just suddenly happened.  Less than two months ago I felt I was struggling, and now, nothing.  No struggle.  It’s easy.  I could say it was like a switch went off, but really it is more like how you fall a tree.  We credit the last swing and suddenly it falls, but the last swing was no more important than the first.  Each post was like a swing, and now here I am, elated and content with my level of submission to my husband.  

I also recognize something in my older posts – insecurity.  I was insecure, unsure of myself, uncertain I could fully realize my hopes in my role and purpose in my family.  That insecurity was due in part to having some unrealistic expectations of this unattainable Utopian ideal in my head.  When I finally shed myself of the expectation of perfection in submissiveness, I suddenly found the perfect level of submission for me.  

CONTENTMENT AND CONFIDENCE
Not to say this is some final destination.  Needs can ebb and flow.  Mike’s needs, my families needs, and my needs, are not a constant.  Learning and evolving in life never ends.  I now face that learning with a level of combined contentment and confidence that I’ve never had before
.

I am not stating that I am a perfect submissive.  I do make mistakes and I do get spanked.  It’s not about achieving a level of perfection.  It’s about achieving a level of contentment and confidence.  A mistake is not a failure, it is just an acknowledgement that I can always serve Mike better and with even greater consistency.  It’s like when you trip over something.  You don’t give up walking.  You just get up and get back at it.  

As I read through my older posts, and read blogs from those who are new to DD, I think about what words of wisdom I would want to share with my past self and the current newbies.   I think it is simply that you have to find your own way.  This is such a wonderful but strange and complicated dynamic that there is no secret formula.  But my formula was simply not to be afraid to make myself completely vulnerable to Mike, both emotionally and physically.  And above all, communicate, communicate, communicate.  And communicate isn’t just talking, it is listening.  And communicating is not just exchanging dialogue.  It is exchanging emotions, desires, and fears — that required vulnerability from both me and Mike.   

I’ve been fortunate to have a great partner in Mike.  He deserves more credit than I could possibly articulate, so I won’t even attempt it.  It would fall short of properly conveying all that he has done and what he means to me.  

So now I have to start thinking about what a new Contract should look like.  I still like the idea of a written contract as it serves as our testament to what DD means to us and what we mean to each other.   We could simply renew the old one, but that would fail to recognize the many changes in our dynamic and would be the easy way out.  No, we need to codify our progress, our continued hopes and desires, and maintain some guard rails towards the road ahead.  A road filled with even more discovery and adventure.  This time the traveler on that road is no longer yearning for discovery and adventure.  Instead, she is just enjoying it as it comes and appreciating every bit of it.     

WHERE’S THE SPANK?
Okay, enough of this fluff.  You want a severe spanking story?  Perhaps read about a good mouth soaping incident?  Or exactly what has Mike been doing with the enema kit?   And what’s up with John and Donna?   You know you want to read about it!   Maybe next time you pervs!    

NEXT: 157. A SEVERE PUNISHMENT FOR TWO

132. Good Groove/ Bad Move – Spanked!

GoodGrooveBadMove

Three weeks since posting and IMHO I have a good reason.  Simply put, nothing much was going on.   It was three weeks of a routine Domestic Discipline household.  I have been very good with my Duties and Obligations and, while I don’t keep track of this, I believe I’ve gone my longest time without a punishments.   In the past, if ten or so days went by with no spanking, I would end up asking for one (Maintenance spankings help, but aren’t enough).   I shared such “mercy” spankings before such as in Post 126 and Post 42.

GOOD GROOVE!
This time was different.  Fulfilling my duties and obligations was fully satisfying and I did not feel a yearning for a spanking.   I can’t fully explain why that is.  If I could put my finger on it I’d certainly try and bottle it for future use.  I think it is just how life works sometimes.  You just get in a positive grove that feeds on itself.  Just like there are times you might get in a negative rut that feeds on itself.

At the same time I’ve been in this groove, Kayla has completely settled into her submissive/slave routine.  She seems to have found the level of submission she has been seeking (and it’s much deeper than mine).  She too hasn’t been yearning for more and more.  I credit Mike for a lot of this as he has been extremely responsive to Kayla’s needs.  I know for some this sounds like a violation of the M/s principles, but to each his (or her) own.  I believe for submission to work it has to start with the submissive.  The submissive must achieve a level of submission that delivers them emotional prosperity.   That prosperity is facilitated by the Dom, but can’t be dictated by the Dom.   Of course, I don’t mean to state this in absolutes.  I am sure there are different dynamics that work fine for other D/s, or M/s  relationships.   But for me personally, it is an absolute.  

So while I have gone some time without a spanking, Kayla can’t say the same — but she is very happy with that.  She has many more Duties and Obligations and is precisely held to them.  Even her Duties and Obligations include acts that to me, are punishments.   With Kayla in her own “positive groove” and with me in mine, well, there just hasn’t been much to share you with.   Until now!

BAD MOVE!
I was having lunch with some girlfriends of mine – 5 to be exact.  An old high school friend and her sister, a former co-worker and one of her close friends (so a friend of a friend), and a friend I met years ago through someone else.  These are all non-kink girlfriends,  as in, platonic, “normal” friendships with other women.   We probably get together four or five times a year. Beyond that, it is Facebook, Twitter, and texting.  

We got together recently and the topic of sex came up.  Now I said these were “normal” friends, and I don’t know about you, but us girls talk about sex.  Not overly graphic, mostly innuendo, humorous type references, but sex none-the-less.  One of them has a husband who just turned 50 and someone asked her, “So, what’s it like sleeping with a 50 year old?”   That turned the conversation to sex.  I made some comment and someone jokingly said, “What would you know, Mike’s not 50.”   My snarky come back was, “Well, who said I was talking about Mike?”  

I knew the moment the words came out of my mouth that I had done a “no-no.”   There was a fleeting moment where I thought I should just laugh and tell them I was kidding and that would be that.  So in that fleeting moment what did I say?.  “Oh wait, no, he is under 50 also.” 

I don’t  know what compelled me to say such things.  I believe, in part, it is the fact that I am not ashamed of my lifestyle and in fact, am grateful for it.  Another part is that I was riding a wave of contentment – that “positive groove” I mentioned earlier.  Whatever the motivation, I said it, and there it was.  I just told them I slept with someone other than Mike.

This, of course, led to questions.  Again, instead of ending it all as simply a silly joke, I answered them honestly.  I did show some discretion.  I didn’t give names, but ultimately shared that Mike and I have swapped and had foursomes and continue to do so.  What I shared with them basically dealt with our relationship with John and Donna, but I never named them.  I didn’t reference anything about our relationship with Kayla, domestic discipline, or submission.   

Their reactions were pretty cool.  They were inquisitive, jovial, and even supportive. If they were judgmental, shocked, or even disgusted, they hid it well.   Anyway, this isn’t about their reaction.  It is about Mike’s. 

Of course I told Mike that I told them.  He got upset.  We agreed that any decisions to share anything about TTWD would be made mutually – it is even stated in my DD contract.  Mike knew that I am fully aware of this as it is not some vague item in the contract that we’ve forgotten about.  We’ve talked about this issue before, such as when I wanted to tell Kayla or tell my sisters about TTWD.   Mike felt I boldly and blatantly chose to ignore my Duties and Obligations under the contract.  Moreover, even if the contract didn’t exist it was very discourteous of me to share this with anyone without discussing it with him.  

Mike said that this was more than just me not doing some act of service that I agree be responsible for.  It was more than disobeying or disrespecting him.  In his mind it was a total disregard of his privacy.  For that, I would be punished.  

I knew I shouldn’t have told them and I knew there would be a punishment in the offing. I wasn’t prepared for how significant a punishment it was going to be.   After the punishment I shared in Post 131, it seems like perhaps when I fail, I fail big!    This was another big one.  The fact I didn’t anticipate it also made it a bigger deal.  

The punishment is over, but suffice to say my nipples are raw, my ass is sore (inside and out), and I still have a lingering bad taste in my mouth.  I’ll share the details on my next post.  SPOILER ALERT.   As always, it has a happy ending!  And I don’t mean that in the cliche euphemism of “happy ending.”   Although I guess in some ways it was happy in that way too. Hee hee.  Oh, the life of a submissive!

 

131. An Argument

Mike and I had our biggest disagreement since adopting Domestic Discipline over two years ago.  Granted, I wrote before about an argument (Post 44. Argument Part I and Post 45. Argument Part II).   But that was nothing compared to this.  On the one I posted about in 44 and 45, I was clearly in the wrong.  This one didn’t have a right or wrong.  Just two points of view that were equal on their merits, but only one could prevail.  

The issues are unimportant but I will say it had to do with our kids, namely our youngest J, and a disagreement over handling a particular situation.  I am not going to share the details because it really doesn’t matter.  It isn’t about someone being wrong or right, or who said or did what to whom.  Suffice to say we didn’t see eye to eye on something of which we both have strong feelings and perspectives – and those feelings and perspectives were not compatible.  Thus, an argument. 

There is nothing about our DD lifestyle that says I must agree with Mike or that says I don’t have a voice.  I routinely voice my thoughts and opinions but allow Mike to be the final arbiter.  I have never felt discounted or felt that my views were devalued, even though clearly I don’t always “get my way.”  That is no different from life before DD. 

The difference is that before DD, discontent would typically fester, pop, then linger.  With DD there is no opportunity for an issue to fester as we communicate openly, honestly, and timely.  Instead of “popping” in a heated argument, there is a “respectful disputation” that has a clear ending.  Yes, that ending is typically with Mike deciding on things, but I agreed to that,  and frankly, I like that.  At least in concept, because there are times where it is very difficult.  Basically, the more important and passionate I am about the issue, the harder it is to accept Mike’s “verdict” if it is not to my liking. 

Thus far there have been few issues that have come up and almost all are been very minor.  Mike has been very good at considering my needs.  While I don’t look at in terms of “wins” or “losses,” it makes it easy to convey if I sum it up as simply, “win some, lose some.”  Again, no different from pre-DD, except again, the process is much more respectful, quick, loving, and finite — no lingering resentments.   And of course, one other major difference is that ultimately, Mike rules!

I could not accept Mike’s decision on this particular issue.  We actually talked about it on several occasions over a few days before he came to a decision.  He was done talking about it but I was not.  I did not agree with his decision.  At first he graciously and respectfully said, “Okay, I see that this upsets you, so let’s talk so more.”  Sort of like, “I know I made my decision, but I am open to reconsidering.”  But after about the third time of doing this he grew impatient and drew the “Dom card.”  Basically he decreed the discussion over and the decision final.  I still could not accept it.  I’ll get back to that in moment.  

During the discussions (okay, fine, During the Argument!)
I earned a few punishments prior to him pulling the “Dom card.”  In each case Mike was clear that the punishment was not because we were in disagreement, but because of my attitude or disrespect in my attempts to communicate my feelings.  I accepted those spankings without hesitation.  I agreed to be respectful at all times and I wasn’t, so it was no different from any other transgression.   It also helped me stay calm when I talked to him, or, I would wait until I calmly collected my thoughts before bringing it up again.   So again, I thank our DD for helping in this way.     

As the issues and discussions spanned the course of several days, the mood in the house was a bit odd and awkward.  Not only was this our first big “fight” since adopting DD, we also have Kayla in our household.   Let’s just say that during those days I was not feeling particularly close to Mike, nor he to me, and Kayla was sort of stuck in the middle.  I didn’t particularly feel sexy nor sexually aroused towards Mike nor did he feel that way towards me.  In those days I did have sex with Kayla, and Kayla with Mike, but Mike and I did not have sex.   I know Kayla was a bit uncomfortable by it all, but she was wise to stay out the fray and Mike and I retained enough of our senses to not try to drag her in.  She did not give her opinion, nor was she asked. 

AFTER THE DOM CARD
When Mike pulled his “Dom card” and issued is final “decree,” he knew I was still unhappy about it.  Despite my efforts, I couldn’t “fake” it  and was clearly not my normal self.  At one point Mike finally said, “Are you happy being a submissive?”     Of course I answered yes (make that, “Yes, Sir!”   

“Do you want to remain submissive or stop?”   “Yes sir, I want to remain like this.  I do not want to stop.”

He went on to ask me why I didn’t want to stop, and my replies were full of all the things I’ve written about here regarding what I get from DD.  I know the point he was trying to make is that if I get all these wonderful things from DD, I need to accept that he has final say and that is that.  He heard me out, he even softened his position a bit, and he made his final decision.  If I couldn’t accept it, he was basically saying I can not accept DD and our D/s relationship.  This was similiar to the approach he took the first time we had an argument after adopting DD.  (Post 45 Argument – Part 2).

I still wasn’t ready to give in.  I wanted it both ways.  I want to be submissive, I want to serve Mike, and I want my way on this one.  Mike then turned my disagreement with him into a punishable offense.   He said he was done discussing it, had already made certain concessions and it was clear we would never fully see eye to eye on the appropriate solution, so either I accept he has final say or I don’t, and we are done with DD.  Since I made it clear I did not want to end our DD, nor want to accept his decision as final, I was punished. 

THE PUNISHMENT
The punishment was not an immediate event.  It was several days of basically a Master/slave immersion. More like a “mini” immersion because J was home with us, but while he was at school or asleep, it was very much Master/slave mode.  Mike said that perhaps having to go a few days of deeply submitting beyond our normal routine would help “get back into my submissive mindset.” 

It may be strange to say this, but I loved this.  I still hated the decision, and I didn’t particular enjoy parts of the “deep submission,” but I enjoyed the idea of it.  I have written before that I love it anytime Mike ad-libs things in showing his Dominance.  This situation was not explicitly addressed in our Contract so he had to use his discretion in determining how to respond to my actions.  He did so in an admirably Dominant way and I happy that he did so. 

Since I haven’t shared a spanking story in a while, I’ll share one particular punishment I got during this mini-immersion period.  The immersion was filled with spankings, some severe, nip and clit clips, tack bra, ball gag, mouth soaping (and the dreaded rinse), writing lines, and the like.  It also had its share of sexual submission as well.  At any time Mike would stop me and have me perform a sexual act on him or on Kayla.   There were standing orders that anytime he motioned a certain way I was to drop on all fours in front of him, take out his cock and perform oral sex, while Kayla fetched a paddle.  She would then paddle me while I went to town on Mike and continued spanking me until Mike finished. 

When Mike announced the mini-immersion was over, the entire issue was truly over.  I accepted his decision on the issue that started all of this.  I was definitely back in my submissive mindset.   In reflecting on it I also could say that while I still wish he would have decided otherwise, I can fully accept his decision.  While it isn’t what I would have decided, it was still reasonable, loving, and effective – just like the mini-immersion.  Score one for the Dom, and score another for DD.

NEXT:  Post 132.  Good Grove / Bad Move.

  

 

 

119. The Stick of Truth, Part III

sotpart3

This series of three posts are unlike what I typically write about.  I originally wrote out a post that simply reflected on these events of these posts and I just peppered that reflection with some of the details.  The problem was I felt it didn’t really convey the experience well enough, thus I decided to first write about the details and then the reflections and lessons learned.  

PUNISHMENT CONTINUED
In the morning Mike instructed me to get J off to school as usual and that he would be going into work a little late.  Kayla said she needed to use the bathroom.  He told her to leave the blindfold on and he led her to the restroom.  Once done he returned her to the bed and removed all the covers.  He then tied her to the bed.  Our bed is not the most conducive to restraints.   The only way to make it work well is to be completely splayed out, like in a giant “X.”   One arm on one side of the headboard, one on the other, and ankles to each side of the footboard.   It takes some extra rope to make it all reach as it is a king sized bed.  He again applied the suckers to her breasts and said that she would remain there until I returned from taking  J to school.  I woke up J and Mike joined us for breakfast

When I returned Mike called out for me from the bedroom.  When I entered the room I saw that he had Kayla on laying on her stomach and he was finishing up tying the last restraint.  She was still in the “X” position but now on her stomach instead of her back (the suckers were removed).  Mike had eight or nine different spanking implements laid out on the bed alongside Kayla.

Mike told me to quickly pick one.  I grabbed one of the short wooden paddles, shaped a bit like a ping-pong paddle but a little bigger.  He took it from me and gave Kayla three very hard swats on each cheek.  He then gave me the paddle and told me to give her 10 in row on each check with the same intensity.  If any were not to his liking he would administer 5 additional ones to Kayla.  I gave the first set of 20 and Kayla and fortunately did so to his satisfaction.  He then had me choose and repeat with another paddle, then another, then another.  Kayla was crying.

I had finally had enough and asked Mike what he was doing.  He sternly said, “I have Kayla’s trust, don’t I have yours?”  I thought for a second and said, “Yes, Sir.”  I really didn’t understand what was going on.  I still didn’t know for sure what this was all about, but, Mike has never let me down before and I do trust him.  I just wasn’t sure if all the stuff with Kayla had perhaps clouded his judgment.  (Remember my post regarding the Stanford Experiment Post 114. Resist! And remain Kinky!.) 

With that, Mike told to choose another implement, and then another.  Soon the only one left was the cane. We only got the cane because Kayla asked for it.  It had been used before (on both of us) but not after this long of a severe spanking session.  Mike pointed to the top of her buttocks and said he wanted to see a stripe “here”, then pointed to two other areas and said “here” and “here.”  Kayla cried very loudly with each one.  Mike then continued to point lower on her buttocks and all the way to her upper thighs, “Here, here, and here.”   When done he said he wasn’t satisfied with the stripes and to repeat, so I did.Before I could finish Kayla called out her “yellow” safe word, which meant we would pause or change things up. 

Mike said “Okay, Kayla, let’s give you a few minutes and you tell us when you are ready to proceed.”  He called me over and whispered in my ear, “Get the prison strap and I want you to keep spanking her with it until she uses her safe-word again.  We are going to continue until she calls “Red.”

My thoughts went to the few times Mike brought me to my limits and I called “Red.” (which for me is “Mercy.”)  I was thinking that it probably would have been hard for someone else had to stand by and watch me at that time, yet, I look back fondly on those punishments.  I knew I had to put aside my protective instincts when it comes to Kayla and recognize that she thrives in being submissive    While I was able to do just that, my mind was still swirling with exactly what led to this.  Was there something else that happened when Kayla was talking with Mike?   Was this because of the cussing?   Why was Mike having me administer the spankings, both the night before and this morning?  I knew there was more to this than I understood at the time. 

“I am ready, Sir,” Kayla said.  The thoughts in my head then shifted to whether I should strike hard, hoping to get to red faster, or get there over a long series of strikes?  Her ass was already fiery red, and the stripes from the cane showed boldly.  I thought I would start pretty hard and hope she called “red” soon.  She cried very loudly with each strike, and I just tried to block it all out and kept striking her every few seconds.  I didn’t keep count, but she took a lot, maybe ten, maybe a dozen, before she again called “yellow.”  

I wished Mike would just tell her that this wasn’t going to stop until she said “Red.”  I’ve learned to sense when a punishment was going to be never-ending.  While I never call “Mercy” until I truly reach my limit, it is helpful for me to recognize these types of punishments so that it becomes a battle of my own will.  I was concerned that Kayla had never been pushed to her limit, and may not recognize it and may take more than she physically should allow.   

“I am ready, Sir.”  Mike then told Kayla that we would be going back to the cane and they would be harder than before.  Kayla was still crying heavily but managed an “Okay, Sir.”  This time Mike took the cane and gave her a very hard strike that loudly popped when it hit.  Kayla let out a scream followed quickly by “red, red, red,”

Mike untied her and held her for some time.  She continued to sob as he held her and she was saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”   Mike calmly told her there was nothing to apologize for, and that everything was okay.  He didn’t let go of her until her sobs subsided.

He then called me over and told me to get on my knees in front of the two of them.  Mike was standing with Kayla’s head still buried in his chest, tears still coming from her eyes but she was no longer wailing.  Mike then began his lecture.

“Kayla shared with me that you told her to not tell me something, that you felt it would be best if you told me whatever it is, versus having Kayla tell me, is that true?”

“Yes, Sir,” I responded

“While you may have had good intentions, it seems to me that you forgot or felt it unimportant that we already addressed the two of you conspiring to break rules (See Post 109. The Tuck, The Spank, and the Slumber).  Which one was it, did you forget, or just felt it was unimportant?”

I’ve learned that these aren’t rhetorical questions and he expects me to either choose one or state another.   In addition, I knew the questions wouldn’t stop until I quit trying to justify breaking a rule.  “Sir, I know it is important to not encourage Kayla to break her rules, or to break mine.  And yes, I did feel that was less important than me talking to you first.”

“So, not only did you encourage Kayla to break a rule, but then Kayla accommodated your request.  That is why Kayla earned this Reward, and she will earn such a Reward anytime this happens.  I told you both before that this type of Transgression was serious, and I should not worry about the two you working together to break rules.  I expect one of you to help prevent the other from breaking a rule.  And Jen, as Kayla is submissive to you, it is even more egregious for you to put Kayla in such a predicament.  This punishment was intended to give Kayla something she would not forget so that she would think twice the next time you did anything to encourage her to break a rule.  It also gives you something to think about if she encouraged you to break one.”

Then he added, “Whoever instigates the rule breaking will be the one to administer the punishment on the one who went along with it.  Do you both understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” we both responded.

So now, Jen, tell me what it was that was so important that you needed to tell me about it before Kayla? “

DOH!   Okay, before we get to that, let me say a few things about the experience up until that point.

REFLECTION
What I write here doesn’t do justice to the amount of discussion and reflection that occurred.  Simply put, this experience helped me realize that I need to think of Kayla as an adult who not only chooses to be submissive, but thrives in her submission.  In addition, I need to dispel my preconceived notions of what it was going to be like with Kayla in the household.  I shared before that “Expectations are premeditated resentments.” (Post 81. Expectations).  Before Kayla moved in I tried hard to get everyone on the same page with clear expectations, but sometimes you just can’t predict where things will go.  At the time, Kayla wasn’t sure of her needs or how her desires would evolve.  Despite her honesty with what she was feeling and thinking at the time, she now has a much better sense of herself and realizes her needs are not going to be fulfilled with simply following my DD.  

KAYLA’S NEEDS
This experience told me I still didn’t completely “get it” regarding reconciling my domestic discipline with Kayla’s needs.  I first wrote about this in Post 111. DD Jenny Style vs. Kayla Style.   Kayla has now clearly articulated her needs and expectations.  In her words, “She is Mike’s.”  She says she feels pain when she is not submissive, not honest, and not completely surrendered to Mike.  She says the emotional pain of letting him down is worse than any spanking.  She wants to be fully observant to all his wants and needs without thought of her own desires.  I disrespected those feelings by asking her to keep something from Mike, even if just for a moment.  Of course, I didn’t really understand how deep those feelings were.  I do now.

I know understand and accept that Kayla’s relationship with Mike has nothing to do with Domestic Discipline.  While there is some overlap in acts of service and punishments, her relationship with Mike is clearly Dominant/Submissive, and has some Master/Slave overtones.

MY NEEDS
I have never been threatened by Kayla’s needs nor had any concerns, and that is still the case.  Her needs don’t change what I get out of being submissive, or change what Mike expects and deserves from me. I enjoy and thrive within the domestic discipline that has evolved between Mike and I.  I also love and admire him for his added responsibility of being a Dom to Kayla.  It actually turns me on to watch him in that role.   

From the start my hopes for Kayla were for her to find what fulfilled her, and those hopes haven’t changed.  I will continue to talk with her to help ensure she is honest with her self assessments.  “Self-knowledge” is so important.  As we already learned in just two months, your understanding of your needs can change over time, and if you don’t stay in touch with yourself, it is hard to act on those changing needs or voice those changes to those around you that aren’t understanding your needs have changed.  Kayla had actually been trying to voice this for a while, but these events allowed her to clearly articulate her need for a distinct D/s relationship with Mike.

Oh, and Kayla doesn’t hold any grudge for me “getting her into trouble” and believe me, I will make sure to never “conspire” with her on anything.  And I continue to be her “Ma’am.”

OH. . . THE SOAPING
I decided against providing details, but yes, Mike followed through with the “rinsing” punishment with Kayla regarding her cussing.  Kayla said it was much like other punishments where us submissive’s have a love/hate relationship with the punishment.  I’ll take her word for it.   

NEXT: 120. Am I a feminist? (Epic Rant)

 

 

   

 

 

 

118. The Stick of Truth, Part II

sotpart2

I had to break this up to two posts (actually will be three!) as I wanted to share some of the details.  You’ll have to read the prior post to understand where this picks up.  It’s not like me to share this level of detail, but, I thought it was important in understanding what we went through, and, it was kinda fun writing about it!  

Before I get back to the story, a quick observation that Kayla made about my posts.  She noticed I always refer to Mike as “Mike”, or to myself as “Jen” when sharing the dialogue that went on between us.  The truth is, when we talk to Kayla both Mike and I will refer to the other as “Sir” or “Ma’am.”  So I might say to Kayla, “Sir wants us to such and such…” instead of “Mike wants us to…”    However, when I write about it, I always refer to the statement as “Mike wants us to…”   I am not sure why that is, but I prefer to keep it that way. I told Kayla that I think it is because I want to remind y’all (yes, I say y’all – I am from Texas after all) that our lifestyle doesn’t change the fact we are just Mike and Jen.   Anyway, I thought it was interesting as I never consciously made that decision.  I never even noticed until Kayla pointed it out.  I plan to keep referring to us that way.  Okay, back to what happened.

BACK TO WHAT HAPPENED
After dinner Mike helped me clean up, which is rare, but not unheard of.  He then asked me to tend to getting J’s evening wrapped up and getting him to bed and he would go “check on Kayla.”  He then added, “Then we all have some things to discuss, don’t we?”
I knew Kayla said something to him and I wasn’t sure what all he meant by “checking on Kayla.”  I was concerned that she told him everything and he was going through with the punishment.  I asked him if we could talk and he said no, we could talk after J was asleep.
He then added, “And don’t go to our room or Kayla’s until J is down for the night.”  I reluctantly gave a “Yes, Sir.”

As it was explained to me, Mike went to Kayla’s room.  She apparently had been crying quite a bit and between the tears and the slobber was quite a mess.  He didn’t say anything for some time.  He rummaged through her “toy chest” and did not respond when she asked, “Is that you, Sir?” (she was blindfolded).   He eventually walked over to her and pulled up hard on the chains attached to the nipple and clit clamps and finally said, “Yes, it is me.  I am pondering an appropriate way to respond to your transgression.”

He took off her blindfold and removed the clamps, but left the ball gag in.  He then attached these nifty suckers we have (called the Fusion Triple Suckers, I recommend them!).  He put one on each nipple and her clit and then just stared at her for a while, occasionally ratcheting the suckers another half turn.  He told her that she was going to have to stay there until J was down for the night, which could be an hour or more.  She mumbled something through the gag so he removed it.   She said she had to pee.  He asked her if she could hold it and she said not that long.  He said he would be back soon and he left the room.

He returned with some hospital grade absorbent bed pads.  We had some left over from years of J having incontinence issues at night (that issue eventually resolved itself).  Oh – and he also brought a glass of water.    He told her she could try to hold it, but in the event she could not, she would just have to go in her bed.  He lined some pads underneath her and laid another one over waist. He then said, “drink all of this quickly,” as he handed her the glass of water.  She didn’t object and simply responded, “Yes, Sir” and drank the glass of water.  Mike then put the ball gag and blindfold back on her and he removed the sucker that was on her clit.  As he left the room he then told her someone would return once J was down.

This particular gag has a ball that is fairly medium-sized.  Large enough to cause a lot of drool, but small enough that your jaw is not stuck wide open when using it. Also, the ball is soft and does not go much past the teeth..  You can partially close your mouth if you bite down really hard.  Lastly, we are always sure to leave the person’s head free to move from side to side.  All of this is in the name of safety as you want to prevent all possible breathing obstructions if leaving a gagged person alone.   Even with all of this, having it in more than 15 or 30 minutes will leave you with a sore jaw.  She already had it in at least 45 minutes before her brief respite.

Mike didn’t say a word to me when he returned from checking on Kayla.  I was tempted to ask him or say something, but I knew he would not appreciate it as clearly he is choosing not to say anything to me about it, plus, I knew it would not make for family dinner conversation.  I think he knew his silence was driving me crazy.  I had no idea what Kayla had told him or what Mike was having Kayla do.  It was a bit a mind fu*k by Mike.   I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t worrying about Kayla.

I did my best to encourage my son to go to bed, but it was still another hour and half before he did so.  When I told Mike that J was asleep, he told me to go check on Kayla.  He told me that her room may be “a bit messy” and to not mind the mess and just get Kayla cleaned up.  He told me to remove whatever Kayla has on her, except the blindfold, and to take her into the shower and get her clean. He told me to tell her that she is not to speak until he speaks to her.  In addition, after I tell her that, I am not to speak another word to her.  He further instructed that once Kayla was clean I was to remain clothed, sit down, and instruct Kayla to get over my knees.  We would both remain silent and remain in that position until he comes into the room and gave further instructions.

I went to Kayla’s room saw the soaked pads across her lap and on her bed. I also saw her nipples and areolas were purple (not a heavy purple, but purple none-the-less) from the extended wear of the suckers.  Her pillow, neck, and chest and sides were wet with drool.  I removed the suckers and ball gag and although I hadn’t said anything, I guess she sensed my touch as she immediately said, “Thank you, Ma’am.”  I grabbed a tee shirt from her drawer and wiped her down a bit and told her she is not to speak until Mike comes. I didn’t explain what I was doing as I led her from her room into our bathroom and into the shower.  As I showered her off, she never said a word and just stoically stood.  The only reaction she gave was a quick wince when I wiped her chest, as apparently her nipples were a bit sore from the extended use of the suckers.  Mike probably didn’t anticipate the issue with the blindfold and the shower.  It was able to stay on during the shower, but it was soaked.  When I dried her off I tried my best to dry the blindfold without removing it.  Having that wet thing pressed against her face was just one more discomfort she would have endure.  I got dry and instructed her to get over my knee and we would wait for Mike.

I kept waiting for Kayla to say something.  I was impressed and amazed that Kayla never said a word. She was told not to speak until Mike spoke to her, and she was obeying without fail.  She was not teary eyed and was very calm.  Her vibe actually made me feel a bit better as it gave me a sense that she was enjoying this.  Not sure why I sensed that.  She wasn’t smiling or seemed very expressive in any way.  Perhaps it was hard to read her feelings because the blindfold covered her eyes, but I still picked up a stoic and calm demeanor from her. 

Mike came into the room and immediately told me to start spanking Kayla with my hand and not stop until he said to.  I began spanking her and several times Mike told me to spank harder or faster, so I did.  Kayla was now much more animated, flailing a bit.  Mike told her that every time her hand reached back to block mine or to try to rub her ass, he would add another five minutes to the spanking.  I did my best to spread the whacks around.  My hand and arm was growing tired and finally Mike told me to stop after what seemed like around ten minutes.  At the pace I was spanking her, that was probably 800 or so spankings.  Her ass was a bright cherry red. 

She couldn’t have received that spanking six weeks ago with J in the house.  This type of spanking used to require one of us to take her over to John and Donna’s (they have been very accommodating).  Kayla is a crier, and while she still almost always cries when spanked, she is a bit more muted and muffled with her noises.  Still lots of tears, but not as much wailing.

Mike then handed me a bottle of lube and told me to finger Kayla’s ass, something I never did before.  Mike re positioned her over my knee so that her ass was more squarely in my lap and she had to prop her arms on the floor to maintain her balance.  As gently and with as much lube as possible, I did as I was told.  My mind was thinking about how there has been an increasing amount of incorporating sex and other physical acts into punishments, something that used to be separate for us.   While some of this was just a slow and natural progression of my DD, I recognized that this particular act was directly due to Kayla’s past requests to be more dominated.

Even though I was using quite a bit of lube, I could tell her pussy was very wet on its own, which I thought of as another sign that she was enjoying this to some degree.  At some point Mike walked over and told me not to stop.  He pulled his pants down and his cock out, walked around, and lifted Kayla a bit by the shoulders so her head was better positioned to reach his cock.  He told me to keep fingering and get “that ass ready for me” as Kayla sucked away on Mike. 

He soon dropped Kayla back down so she was once again had her arms propping her up. He walked to the other side of her and told me to spread her ass.  I’ve been present when Mike and Kayla had anal sex, but not from this vantage point.  Mike entered inside her and while a nice tight fit, it went in fairly easy.   I actually enjoyed this position.  I could feel Kayla’s heartbeat through my thighs, she was making pleasurable soft groans, and I could see that Mike was enjoying it.  Add to that the nice visual I had of watching it closely go in and out, and I had forgotten we were even in a punishment session.   It wasn’t long before Mike came inside her ass.

He then told her and I to stand up. He embraced all of us and said that this concluding the punishment “for now.”  He wanted us to have a good nights rest and tomorrow there would be a second part to this punishment.  Although it not a day that Kayla was scheduled to sleep in our bed, Mike told her she would sleep with us tonight.  He said there would not be any sex, just so loving cuddling.   I think he knew that after the intensity of the last several hours that Kayla endured, it would be rough to just say, “Goodnight, now get to your bedroom.”  That just wouldn’t be proper aftercare.

He removed her blindfold and told her she would need to find another one (we have several) to wear to bed.  He wanted her to wake up in darkness and keep the blindfold on in the morning until he told her to remove it.  We all embraced and lovingly kissed each other for several minutes.  We then resumed our evening routines and soon it was bedtime and that was that. 

Unlike a normal Rewards Ceremony, Mike never asked Kayla or me to state what the transgression was.  And he never asked about what happened in the day that caused me to spank Kayla.  I was still in the dark as to what he knew or what was said between he and Kayla.   I was assuming the punishment she got was due to the cussing, but was a bit confused since it didn’t conform to what I expected.  Mike didn’t punish me or scold me in any way, so what was this all about?  I felt like reminding him that he said that there was something we were going to discuss, so, what was it?  However, I didn’t want to ruin the moment and he clearly was content with the state of things at the moment.  I didn’t see any reason to potentially disrupt that.

NEXT:  119. The Stick of Truth, Part III.