The Plan: Expectations and Commitments – (renamed) Duties and Obligations
I immediately had this two part plan developed in my head in what seemed like an instant.
Establish a clear set of expectations for myself that I would in turn commit to with my husband – a set of personal expectations and commitments to myself. I renamed these Duties and Obligations. I wanted a term that was more powerful and spoke of a stronger commitment on my part, as these things were and are a part of my soul.
Expectations would help me define the person I want to be for myself – my DD was going to be different. I was empowered, I called the shots. I will not consider myself as being submissive and my husband as dominate, no more than a professional sports player would be considered submissive to his coach. This was about me, baby! It was about the person I want to be for myself first, which embodied who I wanted to be for my husband and my children.
I started writing a list of expectations and commitments right away as I was excited about actually articulating what my expectations of myself would be. I recommend everyone do this (and share them with their spouse, DD or not). Remember, these aren’t duties and obligations my husband has imposed on me. They are all 100% self-imposed. This is very different than most DD lifestyles, but remember, the lifestyle is for you to define. There is no rule book and you won’t be kicked out of any DD club for doing it wrong. While most DD lifestyles are defined by more extreme submissive and dominant roles, so what? That wasn’t going to define mine.
I needed my husband to help me meet my duties and obligations. How? Would it actually be through discipline like spanking? How could I allow it and would he even do it? For some reason this idea just spoke to my soul. It excited me and for some reason I just knew it was the right thing for me and could bring about a significant and immediate change in my life. I was set on pursuing some form of DD. I just needed to figure out how to get input from my husband that kept our DD focused on my goals. OMG! I now had to share this crazy idea with my husband. How will I do that?