3. The Search

I didn’t go looking for Domestic Discipline.  I was online looking up info on self-help as I often do and I stumbled across some DD information.  I heard of submissive/dominant relationships, but not DD.  My first reaction was quick – “No way!”

I am not submissive.  I was repulsed.  “How could any woman be involved in this misogynistic crap?”  DD meant that my husband would make the rules, boss me around, be overbearing, dominant, and demeaning and would spank me?  WTF!

My curiosity kicked in to see what could motivate someone to live this way, so I started reading, and reading, and reading.  The more I read, the more this “thing” began to take shape in my mind.  I discovered that yes, DD can be those things that I just described, but what if it could mean something different?  What if DD were simply a system for allowing me to meet expectations I set for myself, with some help from my husband?Ultimately this “thing” taking shape in my mind was my own version of DD.

Please note I said “my version” of DD.  I noticed many DD stories are different, although it seems like a lot are also trying to follow some pre-set rules about it, but that is mostly those that try to make it about religion.   Many DD relationships seemed ridiculous to me (and still do, but I know I shouldn’t get all judgey given my own DD lifestyle).  I saw a common theme in DD that resonated with me, and all I needed to do was shape that theme more precisely to my liking.  I probably knew within about thirty minutes of reading that I was on to something and I stayed up reading more.  By the end of that night I had a revelation – a moment of clarity that forever changed my life for the better.  I developed a two part plan to once again love life, every moment, every day.

Next – 4. The Plan.

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