I’ve written about my “unquestionable” acceptance of Mike’s authority. It’s been a journey to achieve that level of acceptance, especially when it was never part of the original plan. If you’ve read my early posts, you’ll know my DD started out as MY DD — my submission on my terms, Jenny style!
As our DD evolved and I encouraged Mike to use more and more discretion in creating rules and administering punishments, I would use our Maintenance Sessions as a time to discuss my observations, concerns, or need for clarification regarding his actions. Such discussions helped synchronize our individual needs and expectations. As our DD further evolved, I found myself with fewer and fewer concerns, and thus asking for less and less clarification. It has reached a point where I truly have no reservations or concerns about his actions. I accept them without question.
I like to think it is because Mike and I are so in sync with what he wants as my Dominant and what I need as his submissive. I believe we achieved this because of the way we approached our DD and also because of our individual personalities. We have achieved DD Simpatico.
In fairy tales, … okay, make that, in very kinky fairy tales, that would be the end of the story. BUT…. This is real life! Full of ups and downs, with needs and emotions that ebb and flow like the tide. A tide that sometimes brings with it a hurricane or two.
WATER, WATER, EVERYWHERE. . .
Mike has come up with a variety of rules that are all his own. Mostly minor things and I accept them all without reservation. About a week ago I mentioned I should start drinking more water and thus Mike obliged with a new rule for me – I can only drink water until he says otherwise. No coffee, no soda, no tea. Just water.
I am not a huge coffee drinker — Most mornings will have a cup or two, but sometimes none. I love my iced tea and sodas….certain foods just call for certain drinks. Water, while good for me, is no fun! But alas, as I wrote in my prior post and the preamble to this one, I have reached a point of unquestionable obedience to Mike. Sympatico!
Kayla and I were having lunch at a restaurant and I ordered water to drink and Kayla ordered iced tea. I don’t know what it was but this strange feeling came over me. Part frustration, part disgust, part indignation… can’t really put a finger on it, but whatever it was, it woke the rebel in me.
I recall thinking, “I am a good submissive…heck, I am a great submissive.” I even thought aloud as I told Kayla, “A good submissive won’t question her Dom even when she may disagree. A great submissive won’t even disagree, thus has nothing to question, and I’ve been a great submissive”
Now, before you object to that statement, let me clarify. I said it as hyperbole in a moment of frustration. Questioning your Dom in a respectful and orderly manner is not a weakness. It is a strength to be commended. But in that moment, I was clearly wanting to glorify my past performance as justification for my impending bad behavior.
As the waitress came to take my order I proudly added, “And I’ll have a tea to drink.” I looked squarely at Kayla with a proud resolve. Kayla said, “Is that a good idea?” to which I replied with a full sense of entitlement, “I don’t feel like having water. I am having tea.”
Kayla’s reaction was a nice, “Do you want to talk about it?” I told her there was nothing to talk about. I understood the implications of my actions and didn’t expect her to cover for me. She reminded me several times before the tea arrived that I could change my order. I did not.
I took a few sips of my tea and realized the satisfaction I got from ordering it did not carry over to actually drinking it. It was very unsatisfying and I ended up not drinking any more of it and went back to water.
TIME TO PAY THE PIPER
I told Kayla I would confess to Mike. It wasn’t that I wanted to spare her from having to tattle, but that I knew I just needed to own up to it.
I told Mike once he got home from work. He told me to undress and he had me stand in the corner with a bit gag on. He said he would come back in after dinner and make periodic “adjustments” until J was asleep and he could fully deal with this. He left the room, and told J that mom wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t going to be at dinner.
I remained calm as I stood in the corner for over an hour. I was disappointed with myself but not upset in any way. I reconciled it in my mind as this momentary “break” that served a purpose to release whatever negative energy had built up in me. I no longer felt that energy, so it was hard for me to even relate to what it was I was feeling at the time. I just know I needed to “erupt” and having done so, was feeling happy with things. I didn’t think much about the punishment to come, as I felt whatever it was I deserved it and was already accepting of it in advance.
What followed were a series of “adjustments” as he would periodically return to the room. A soaping here, a spanking there, butt plug, nipple suckers, nipple clamps, tack bra, you name it. By the time J was asleep, Mike had pulled out most of the arsenal of stuff we own. As I know you all seem to like to read about punishments, I’ll share the details of the punishment as best as I recall, but will do that in another post as it will be lengthy. Just what you pervs like!
As for my post-analysis reflection, I’ll also save that for that next post. As always, it’s all good, it’s all positive, it’s all sympatico!