I’ve been preoccupied lately but had a story to share and then found this post in my drafts. I thought I posted it some time ago! Oh well, here you go. . .
I thought I’d share a somewhat humorous story about a “dilemma” that Kayla and I had and the less than humorous results.
Kayla started her Master’s program. Not to be confused with “Master” in a kink sense but as in obtaining a Master’s degree that one may attain after their Bachelor’s. In any event, school started for her and she has been a busy bee. She is an excellent student and takes her studies seriously.
She said being back in the school environment has underscored the changes in her personality. No longer the wallflower whose would be annoyed by anything distracting her from her laser focus, she is confident, outgoing, and easy-going. She has made several new friends. In addition to spending time studying and working on assignments with them, she also has gone out with them socially. Not that she was a hermit in the past, but her old self would have taken all semester to warm up to someone to be that friendly. Now, after just a few classes she bonded in friendship with a couple of other students.
Between classes, studying, and her expanded social circle, her time at home has decreased. And when she is home, she is often studying. Not to say she doesn’t have “family” time, but she went from almost 24×7 family time to something quite less than that.
Mike and I are fully supportive of this. She is 23 and we don’t want her to feel obligated to spend time with us. Any time she spends with us is precious but only if it is genuine and not taking away from her other interests. She has some household chores which she is still able to complete without a problem. I have a bit more to do now, but that’s okay. I always considered her help to be a bonus as I was doing it all before she moved in with us. And with J at school, I have more time to get things done.
NEED FOR SPANKING
With this change in routine, for the first time ever Kayla went an entire week without a spanking – other than during a Maintenance Session. And as you may recall, this is happening at a time she is experiencing a touch of sub-frenzy.
Kayla came to me one early afternoon while Mike was at work and J was at school. She said she was feeling “antsy and anxious” about nothing in particular. She was having trouble focusing on her school work and felt she needed an adrenaline rush and a release. In other words, she needed a spanking and she asked me if I would spank her.
I was feeling playful, and not having had a spanking in a few days myself, I said sure, but only if she would spank me. She giggled and said, “Of course!”
Then the dilemma dawned on me. Do we need to get Mike’s permission? Our justification for “No” was that this wasn’t discipline, this was fun. After all, we don’t ask his permission to have sex. But, Kayla does have to ask for permission to masturbate Btw, I don’t. To clarify, I don’t have to ask! You’re crazy if you thought for one second that I don’t actually masturbate. Heck, it is in my contract! I digress.
So, was this more akin to us having sex? What if it included sex, would that make a difference? I told Kayla the fact that we were having this debate in our minds was probably evidence enough that we should ask for permission. No harm in doing that as we expected he would surely say yes.
I called Mike and he didn’t answer. I couldn’t text him this request either. So we waited, and waited. J was going to be home from school soon and Kayla said she was really desperate and would even try spanking herself if I wouldn’t do it. I thought that was unnecessary and not as effective, so, I made a command decision that I would spank her. Mike did say I could act as his proxy for things that needed immediate attention. While the “things” he was talking about were disciplinary in nature, in my mind while this spanking wasn’t needed for disciplinary reasons, it was still needed.
So I spanked her. It went on for quite some time. First by hand, then one implement, then another. She was really in need of a solid spanking. Spanking her and seeing the release it gave her made me want to be spanked even more. She obliged, although I didn’t need nearly the spanking she did. It was also fun as we made a bit of a game of it. Sort of a “see how hard you can take it” challenge. She won.
Mike’s reaction when we told him? He wasn’t pleased. His thinking was that part of the Dominance he derives over us is from his power to spank. This particular act is the hallmark act of DD and should hold a special, almost sacred place in DD. While it is acceptable to spank as part of play, there is a risk it can become trivialized. He said the way in which we explained it and described it to him, it felt very trivial. That feeling was deepened by the fact we didn’t wait for him to give us permission even though we suspected we should have. He said he felt excluded from something that we should have understood as being up to him to decide. He wants me to be comfortable as his proxy, but in this case the fact we proceeded without his consent showed we trivialized the meaning of such spankings.
His final point was that any time we recognize that a situation calls for his input, then the situation requires his input. In other words, if there is any doubt, we should error on the side of seeking permission.
His punishment was that we would repeat the spankings and he would watch. We did so and when we were done, he said, “We’re not done.” What? He then said we would again repeat them except he would do the spanking. So Kayla and I got a double dose of what we got when we spanked each other. I really wish we hadn’t done the “who can take it the hardest” game. Suffice to say our butts were plenty red, especially Kayla’s. She won’t be feeling the need to be spanked for quite some time.
Mike also added a Mini-Maintenance Thursday for Kayla. In addition, for two weeks one of us has to “soundly” spank her before she goes off to class. Kayla doesn’t typically leave for class until after Mike has left for work, so these spankings mostly fall on me to administer. Mike gave clear guidance as to implement and force and required pictures to show they were being given to his satisfaction.
In reflecting on this, I see Mike’s point and don’t have any qualms about his reaction. I leave such things up to his discretion and I don’t question it. However, I have found that my willingness to submit to his authority with no question has a cumulative impact on me that’s not necessarily positive – which is a segue to my next post!
NEXT POST: DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE SYMPATICO!
7 thoughts on “161. Needed one, got three!”
An interesting dilemma and while I understand Mike’s position, in your place I would have done the same thing and accept my punishment for not asking permission. The question I have – and I ask it with respect to you all – is did Mike deliberately not answer his phone (knowing that you were calling) or was it just one of those bad timing moments?
Since I don’t understand this as others do, I have another question, if I may? As the dominant for you and Kayla, does Mike have any “responsibility” to maintain a level of contact, you know, in case something like this happens and permission is required? I mean, I can see this as a double-edged sword; if you contact me for permission for something, I might wanna punish you for “bothering” me but if you don’t, well, guess what’s gonna happen when I get home?
As the saying goes, it’s better to ask permission than to beg forgiveness… but this seems to be a lose/lose (or maybe win/win?) sort of thing because either way, you can probably look forward to being punished. For most people, a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation is not a good thing but I’m guessing for you guys, it’s potentially a good thing?
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Mike can’t always answer a text or call when he is at work. Whether deliberate or not, he answers at his discretion. He doesn’t commit to any availability, other than to respond when he chooses. There are times I can’t reach him and have to make a “command” decision. Rarely does that result in a punishment. So not really a double edged sword, but always has some risk if I don’t think it through before acting. Again, if rarely comes up when it does, and 99% of the time it works out fine-no punishment
Thanks for the extra clarification!
I put a long comment in but it doesn’t seem to have gone through. Grr, Basically, I can see both sides of the issue, but Kayla’s spanking doesn’t seem to have been in fun, more in need. I know what its like to feel that “need to be spanked” feeling, and i’m glad she is getting more spankings.
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I see what he meant, in some ways. I kind of don’t see the spanking that she got for fun, it was more for stress relief and anxiety relief. The one that you got was more for fun. I don’t say this to try to challenge his thoughts, as I see it both ways. And I am glad she has the opportunity to get more spankings. I know the feeling, when I go a while without spanking.. the weird, fidgety, uptight, antsy type feeling. I don’t have anyone else to spank me other than J, but luckily, he is available a lot and always willing to do it! 🙂
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