231. Some Fun, an Ending, the Future.

Kayla and Michaud broke up.  More on that in a bit.  That build-up and ultimate break up led to a lot of conversation between Mike, Kayla, and I about her relationship with us. I thought I’d provide you a peek into that discussion.  But before I do, here’s some other Kayla-related news and some details on the break up.

SOME FUN – MIKE AND KAYLA
Mike had a business trip last week and Kayla went with him.  It was in a nearby city so they drove — it was just far enough that it didn’t make sense to drive back and forth for two days.  They left Wednesday evening and while his business was wrapped up by Friday, they stayed an extra evening and drove back Saturday afternoon. 

It was nice to have the house to myself during the day.  I was hoping for more internet time but Mike gave me a few projects that took up a lot of my time.  When I did have some “me” time, I spent it relaxing — ahem, masturbating.  I do that anyway – but let’s just say it was some extended “me” time!

SELF-SPANKING MAINTENANCE
Mike was gone during our Thursday maintenance so we Skyped it.  Mike had me give myself a spanking — that’s new.  It was part comical and felt odd.  After some trail and error I found the perfect implement — it hurt way more than I thought!  Mike didn’t have any count in mind and I was able to stop once he felt my butt “looked” the right shade of pink to him. 

It’s weird but I actually felt a tinge of embarrassment.  That was extremely surprising to me because one, I don’t embarrass easily, and two, especially not when it comes to anything I do with Mike.   This feeling didn’t disappoint me – it excited me.  Feeling a little embarrassed made me feel very submissive.

Mike was very thoughtful in that he had Kayla go down to the pool during our Maintenance Session.  He knows I like our sessions to be intimate, in terms of no Kayla or other people to distract us.  A time to focus on us, our relationship, our dynamic.  I didn’t ask him to excuse Kayla, but I did thank him for doing so.

MY THOUGHTS ON MIKE AND KAYLA
I like Mike and Kayla having “couple” time of their own.  I mentioned before we alternate “date nights” with Mike each weekend.  I know it has to sound weird to a lot of you, but I enjoy sharing Mike with Kayla.  It fills me to see Mike having the capacity to love her in ways you would love a girlfriend, even a spouse.  I don’t see it subtracting from his love for me in any way.

It also fills me to see Kayla so happy with him.  I know there is quite an age difference (26 years!) but Kayla is so visibly in love with him.  I’ve written before about how Kayla has always been attracted to older people…whether it be friends or lovers.  Although granted, it has typically been 5-7 years older, not 26.   That’s why her relationship with Michaud was unique.  He is just two years older than Kayla.

Oh, and of course, as far as unique goes, there is the whole she-is-submissive-to-Mike, in-a-poly-relationship-with-us, and most recently Michaud-has-another-girlfriend.  Yeah, perhaps those things make it a little bit unique as well.  lol. 

AN ENDING – SPEAKING OF MICHAUD
They officially broke up!  I don’t take any gratification in the fact that I saw it coming.   Kayla simply realized that the more she was with him,  the more she wished she was back home with us –  or as she put it, “doing something with her family.”

I think he is a nice guy, and that “niceness” caused him to want to keep trying (he didn’t want to break up), but, per Kayla, it was wearing on him and it showed in his demeanor.  Kayla understands and doesn’t blame him, and she isn’t going to apologize for it as she feels she was 100% honest with him from the start.  He could have balked but clearly he was intrigued with her and that intrigue has worn off.  So, they parted – amicably.

THE FUTURE – KAYLA’S FUTURE
The end of her relationship with Michaud and her soon finishing up her first year of grad school has us thinking about our future.  I believe what has made our relationship work is that we spent a lot of talking about it at the beginning (wow, it’s been about 15 months).  We were all very comfortable and “calibrated” regarding our feelings and desires.  We were overdue for a “calibration” check.

The conversation basically started with, “What are we to each other?”  It is easy enough for Mike and I, as husband and wife.  Nothing has changed there. But what of Kayla to Mike and to me, and us to her?

I won’t go into detail on the many conversations – most with the three of us but some with just any combination of two of us — and the countless conversations with myself in my mind, ha!  The simplest summation is that they were filled with love.  Mike and I truly love Kayla, and she loves us.  She feels like we are her family and we feel she is a part of our family.   There just aren’t labels that exists that relate to her family status.

I took a daring step in asking this question. “If plural marriages were legal, would Mike and Kayla get married?”  We were all in agreement that the answer, at least for now, would be no.  Kayla has so much ahead of her and in many ways our age difference would preclude her from experiencing things she should experience, free from a formal  attachment to us.  Our attachment, our love… just doesn’t need such formality.

And of course, Kayla added, “And why just wonder about marrying Mike.  In this ‘what if,’ I could marry Jen too, couldn’t I?”  Certainly, in this ‘what if’ we can imagine anything.  Her point was, she loves both of us and we both love her.

KAYLA IS OUR GIRLFRIEND
And speaking of labels, Kayla is now referring to Mike as her boyfriend, and both Mike and I refer to Kayla as our girlfriend.  Mike is waiting for the day someone says, “Wait, I thought you said you were married.”   I am sure that is coming (we thought it would on this business trip as he had dinner planned with a business associate and Kayla was going to attend.  The associate had to cancel as they weren’t feeling well so Mike didn’t get the opportunity to try out the “girlfriend” intro.).

Kayla said she really loves the fact we are now open about our poly relationship.  At the time she didn’t think it really mattered to her.  She always understood and agreed with why it should be private.  But once we opened up, she was surprised by how much more valued it made her feel.  She said she never felt devalued before, but clearly, being open about it has meant something to her.   She just never expected it thus never gave it any thought, but clearly, it means a lot to her. 

FUTURE?
She said her family (us) means more to her than anything right now.  She is open to dating if the right person came along, man or woman, but can’t imagine a set of circumstances that would work for her.  She has another year before she has to seriously think about what’s next.  For her immediate future, she wants to focus on her submission and on us.  While she doesn’t regret dating Michaud, she feels it took “the edge” off her submissive mindset.  

As for a longer term future, one narrative in her mind is she finds a job in this town and continues to live with us.  We are all welcoming of this.  Another is she finds a job in another town and has to move away.   While this one comes with some sadness, we are also excited by it as well.  We feel it is important that she spread her wings and has time “adulting” on her own – this may be her last opportunity for that in her lifetime.  After that time, if it leads her back to us, great!  If it doesn’t, great as well. 

We all are in agreement that her path needs to be hers and packed with various life experiences that fulfill her not just today, but set her on a path of a lifetime of fulfillment. 

A POLY COMING OUT!!
Tomorrow T2 is home and we will be “coming out” regarding our dynamic as well as inviting him to meet E’s family.  Oh – and Kayla wants to tell her parents about us as well.  We have reservations but are supportive of her doing so.

NAKED PREVIEW
Also, I got to experience a bit of what meeting E’s family will be like.  Her cousin, cousin’s husband and three kids, visited her and we got to meet them.  Yes, they are naturists. More on that on another post.       

Next. 232. Our Final “Outing”  

182. Hello, my name is Kayla!

Someone commented asking if Kayla would post something, so, without further ado . .  .

Hi ya!   Yes, I am Kayla. Jenny asked me if I wanted to write on her blog, and asked me, and asked me.   I didn’t know what to write so I kept putting her off, but, finally, here I am.   She asked me to write about something I am passionate about.  Well, like many twenty-somethings, I am passionate about putting off adulting!  HA!!!  

I think adulting means to live on my own, financially independent, with of course, a job.  At least I have an excuse.  I am still a student and I just turned 23, not 33!  But to be honest, part of the appeal of graduate school was the excuse it gave me to put off having to fully “adult.” Of course Jen and Mike tease me that I am kinda “adulting” in a different form of the word.  After all, I am participating in their adultery!   But as Jenny says, “I digress!”

I have other passions, like Mike and Jen!  lol.  Seriously though, they are a passion of mine.  I figure you want to know how or why.  That’s what people ask me when I tell them about my relationship.  It’s hard to describe why you are attracted to what attracts you.  It isn’t simple, but I’ll give it a go.

I first met them when I was about 10 or 11 as I lived a couple of houses down from them.  One of their sons is about my age.  I tried hard to be his friend just so I could spend more time with his family.  T was always nice to me and tolerated my showing up to “hang out.”  But, we didn’t have a lot in common.  On the upside, I did get to learn Grand Theft Auto, which I feigned interest in just to have a reason to hang around.

For some reason I immediately connected with Mike and Jen.  My parents always said I was their “little adult.”  Even when I had family gatherings, I was more comfortable with my aunts and uncles than I was with my cousins.   It wasn’t that I wanted Mike and Jen to be my parents, but I did love spending time with them.  I always felt so warm and welcomed in their house.  So “visible” and included.  I liked the way everyone in the family treated each other.  It was fun, loving, and most of all, nurturing.   This was different from my own home.  There were moments of fun, a thread of love that loosely bound us, but not much nurturing.  The simplest example is that Mike and Jen’s family are huggers.  It is how they say hello and goodbye.  My family?  Hugs only came when there were apologies or consoling needed.  Unfortunately there were plenty of those kind of  hugs.

There were times I came over to hang out with T but then spent the whole time talking to “Mr. and Mrs. H” as I use to call them.  As soon as I was able I volunteered myself to babysit J.  It was simple things…just playing with him while Jenny ran an errand.  But as I got older and earned more trust, I would watch him in the evenings as Mike and Jen went out.  I even went along with them on outings to serve as another set of hands for Jenny.   I even went on a couple of vacations with them.  Very wonderful memories for me.

At first I wanted to be like Jenny when I grew up.  She seemed so confident and controlled.  I also remember recognizing that her happiness was from within, independent of others around her, even though it was clear her family brought her a lot of joy.  I always thought, “I want to be like that.  I need to be like that.” 

My initial thoughts of Mike were that he was a nice man.  He treated Jenny and his family so well, and was always nice to me.  Like Jenny, any time I was over he made it a point to have a conversation with me.  It made me feel important.  There were times I wished he was my dad.  I really loved it when we would be out and they would refer to me as their “niece.”  It was just a simple way to answer people who asked if I was their daughter.  It was nicer than, “No, just some kid who hangs around our family.”  

Then, about when puberty hit, I got this crush on Mike.  I remember the exact moment it hit me.  I hugged him goodbye and I squeezed a little harder than usual, and he squeezed back.  Nothing extreme, nothing sexual.  Good God, I was only 12!   Just that little bit harder hug than usual and perhaps a little bit longer as well, by like a second or two.  Whatever, it put such a huge smile on my face and it put a tickle in a place I’ve never felt tickled before.  Ooh, gross, I know, but that was just me and my body reacting.  Mike didn’t do anything weird to cause it.  It’s just what happens around that age.  It just so happens that for me, my trigger was some “old guy.”  LOL! 

I don’t know if Jenny wrote about this but I told them my first memory of masturbating was to thoughts of Mike and it occurred shortly after “the hug.”  We aren’t talking graphic sexual images in my head.  It was really just playing that hug over and over in my mind.  Thoughts of  running my hands over his hairy chest.  I’ve seen him in bathing suits so knew what his chest looked like.  Just thinking about him hugging me, telling me nice things, and stroking my arm (which he didn’t actually do….this was just in my fantasy).   That was all it took to have my first orgasm  (okay, that and my fingers).  Okay, okay, I know. Icky!  You are like, “STOP TALKING ABOUT PRE-TEEN SEX STUFF!”  I am just sayin’ that yes, I had this crush on Mike at a young age.   

When Jenny shared that her and Mike were into DD, my initial reaction was I just had to know more.  I admired them both so much I figured whatever they were into had to be interesting.  Add to that was Jenny seeming so enthusiastic and happy about it.  And her sharing something that personal really made me feel special.  I also had no idea what all their dynamic really included.  At first I thought, “Like, okay, Mike spanks her because she wants him to, no biggie.”  I had no idea what their DD or D/s was about.    

I just know when she shared it with me I knew she was sharing something very personal.  This made me pour my soul out to her about lots of things in my life.  In the process of sharing so much, I felt a different type of closeness with Jenny.  I can hear her say, “Vulnerability does that to people!”.  Even though she is much older than me, I felt more like a peer, a friend, a confidant.  I felt I was no longer that “little girl” who just hung around their family. 

Although I am shy in crowds I’ve been pretty sexually adventurous even before this. I was already a “third” in another relationship before getting into a relationship with Mike and Jen.  I had sex with boys and girls, including threesomes, so, I wasn’t sexually naive.  As the three of us starting talking and sharing more, I knew I wanted to be a part of their life and a part of their dynamic.   And here I am! 

Now you know a little about what got me into this crazy thing — Ha ha!  J/k of course.  I love it here! 

NEXT:  183 Spanking with F.O.C.U.S.