We told our middle child about our relationship with Kayla and a bit more about our dynamic. If that wasn’t enough, we shared our plans to meet E’s family at a naturist resort, likely in June.
WHAT WE SAID RE KAYLA
We simply said that our relationship has evolved such that he would likely best understand it as a polyamory thing. I didn’t explicitly say it was sexual, but it was very clearly understood as you will soon read.
We told him we wouldn’t be hiding our relationship from anyone — not that we would shout it from the rooftops, but we wouldn’t go out of our way to hide it.
WHAT WE SAID RE D/s
We had already shared the basics back in December and he was able to see it in practice, so he pretty much gets the picture. We added was that Kayla was part of this “deferring to, and service to”, his dad. We also injected the word “accountable” which I don’t think we had used before. He didn’t ask in what ways we are accountable to his dad and that’s fine by me. We wanted him to have a general understanding and it seems to us that he does. If he asks more questions later, we will answer them.
WHAT WE SAID RE NUDIST RETREAT
We brought up the opportunity to meet E’s family by having a family vacation along with them at a resort, likely in early June… and, that it was a nudist resort.
We talked about meeting E’s cousin’s family who were practicing nudists. We shared with him that we partook in the clothing free option. We explained we aren’t planning to be clothes free around the house, but that there may be more nudity as we also may not rush to wear clothes. He connected the dots back to his experience of seeing Kayla naked.
T2 REACTS RE KAYLA
He said he basically already knew – sort of! Turns out, one his friends is the brother of Michaud’s roommate.
T2 never met Michaud, but has met the roommate. By chance the group of them were talking about relationships and the roommate mentioned Michaud dating a “poly” girl who was also in a relationship with an older couple. The roommate mentioned her name – Kayla – but at the time T2 didn’t think it was the Kayla he knew.
When T2 eventually learned that Kayla was dating someone named Michaud, he immediately connected everything, including the fact the “older couple” was likely his parents! He didn’t say anything to anyone…as he didn’t know what to say nor really want to know more.
T2 tends to be pretty reserved. He will say what is on his mind but you have to work at prying it out. We weren’t expecting much behind a nod and an “okay,” but he actually asked a lot of engaging questions – more than T1 asked us when we told him. This was welcomed but was also surprising.
T2 bluntly said, “So, you all have sex and everything like a typical relationship?” Our answer was a simple, “Yes, we do.” He said it was “Pretty wild,” and “a lot to process,” but it didn’t bother him. He joked he didn’t know he had such “trendy” parents.
I told him it wasn’t about trying to be in vogue. Things just evolved and we didn’t feel it was necessary to suppress our feelings. While the desire not to suppress our feelings may be helped by increasing social acceptance, social views are not what created our love and affection. We also apologized for not saying something sooner as part of reason for telling him was so that he didn’t find out some other way.
He did ask the, “isn’t she young for you guys” question… although his version was, “aren’t you old for her?” He was more interested into what the appeal was for Kayla, which she answered. She reminded him of her lifelong attraction to people older than her and the affection she has always felt from and towards us became something much deeper. She said that perhaps it is the age difference that allows her to connect to us in a way she can’t with anyone else.
He did ask about the long-term plans and we all admitted that those were up in the air and would evolve however they are meant to evolve. Oh, and he asked me if this means I was bisexual and have I always been that way. Very pointed questions I wasn’t expecting, but I was happy to answer. Yes, and yes, with the caveat it was something I haven’t explored since college.
T2 REACTS TO D/s
He didn’t react beyond an “okay.” We weren’t anticipating much here since he had been witness to my more subservient role in the household.
T2 REACTS TO NUDIST RETREAT
It wasn’t a complete shocker. T1 had told him before that E’s family “used to vacation at a nude resort growing up.” (mild understatement to say the least). T2 took it to mean as a one-off thing, not an actual lifestyle. So he was a little surprised, but not that much and gave it his typical well thought out and elaborate response of “Cool.”
He was “game” for attending if his work situation allows it. That was great to hear — we were thinking it was 50/50 as to whether or not he would be open to going. The shocker was he asked if he could bring his girlfriend. Now that was awkward for us!
Here we are expressing our “progressive” lifestyle regarding our relationships, plus we already having T1 living with his girlfriend (now fiancée) — yet, we were hesitant to have T2’s girlfriend along. What of the sleeping arrangements? I am fine with them having sex (which they have had), but, having her share a room with him makes me feel like I am somehow facilitating it. T2 just turned 22.
Of course, when Mike said it felt a bit “creepy” to him, T2 was quick to add in jest, “You mean, like mom and dad sleeping with the babysitter?” Touché
This led to a very frank discussion about a variety of things. T2 shared some stuff about his prior relationship (he dated his last girlfriend for a long time), stuff about himself, and his outlook on relationships, etc. It was all a good family bonding experience and at times, probably a bit “creepy” for all of us.
In the end, we agreed that if he is able to come, is girlfriend is welcomed. T said he doesn’t have any qualms about asking her, but that she may not want to or be able to attend. We shall see.
And in fact, apparently we shall see an awful lot! Ha. That’s a nudist joke in case you missed it.
It went well, which I expected, but it went even better than any of us expected. We are all feeling very good and very excited about being more ourselves around friends and family. Technically this isn’t our “final outing” as we have other family members to deal with regarding our relationship with Kayla. But the kids were defintely the priority and the most meaninful for us. The others will come in time and frankly, while we obviously prefer acceptance, their reactions are less important to us.