Things are in such a good groove! School year has started off well for J, as well as for Kayla. We are in a nice routine in all aspects of the household, including the DD. Yes, an occasional punishment here and there for me, but nothing transformative or worth writing about. Except perhaps to mention that twice I’ve had to wear clothes during the day to cover marks.
Right after Immersion I still had some noticeable marks on my butt and thighs, so I only went topless around the house. J didn’t even ask as he knows we dress (or don’t dress) based on whatever we feel like that day (Reality — any given day Kayla and/or me might need a day or two for marks to fade). However, J questioned me when I went without bottoms but kept a shirt on. Yeah, I got a breast punishment recently that left a bruise or two. It fully faded in a few days. My answer was that my back was bothering me and I wanted to wear a bra for extra support. Oh the lies we must tell!
Without anything noteworthy to report in my DD, I thought I’d talk about someone else’s. Back in Post 267 I shared that my friend, Valerie, came to me for some “martial advice” of sorts, namely, a “how to” on introducing some elements of DD in her marriage.
Before I get into an update on her….
I re-read Post 267 and saw that it connected a lot of dots with my prior post. In the post about Valerie I even used the word “suffering” to describe her – she has been “suffering her emotions” for 20-ish years because of society/family/religious influences told her that suffering was righteous and fulling. That’s just total b.s. and is exactly what those in power want us all to believe. Anyway, as I shared in the post about her, she had this drive to be “free to be me” as she put it. She had this burning desire to take all of who she was and present that to her husband, and in return, she wanted all of who he is. In other words, be 100% vulnerable to each other. (There, I met my DD Jenny requirement of bringing up vulnerability on every post – hee hee).
I ended that post without insight into how things went when she finally opened up with her husband. I thought I’d share some insights now that I have them.
JENNY, DD ESQUIRE
I helped her in creating a contract of sorts for them. It wasn’t as formal as mine, but spelled out her Duties and Obligations and gave her husband latitude in determining the punishments. From everything she says, they are enjoying their journey and feel closer than ever – and they are having more sex than they’ve ever had! Vulnerability can be very sexy!!
This led them to also open up with each other about their sexual history and fantasies. Valerie shared with him that she had sex with women before they were married – and it was more than just a one-time thing. Her first experience was in high school, then another in college, and one just before they got married – but they were engaged at the time. She was prepared for him to get upset. He did not and, in stereotypical style, he thought, “You know, I’ve always wanted to try a threesome.”
As a quick aside — While it may not be 100%, I bet the 80/20 rule applies here. Anytime a woman shares with her male partner that she had sex with another woman, 80% of the time the male partner will ask for a threesome. And the other 20% – well, they will definitely think it in their head! Men! hee-hee.
SEEKING A THIRD?
I took it as a good sign that her husband verbalized this. It shows a level of vulnerability and trust – or maybe just a level of, “finally, my chance to have a threesome!” Well, whatever the motivation, he said it.
I asked her what she thought about it. She said she’s on board and the deal is Raul (her husband) could watch her and the other woman, and could have sex with her (Valerie), but not the other woman. With those terms, she was all for it if they could find the right person.
Valerie said she wasn’t asking me, “since I was married.” Keep in mind she knows all about Kayla’s relationship with me and Mike and know that we “swap” in a foursome. I didn’t question her reasoning and figure she just didn’t want me to be the “third.” However, she did want my ideas on who might be a good match. Valerie is a very reserved person, even though she has obviously opened up to her husband, and shared a lot with me. I could tell that she would be mortified at actually approaching anyone else with this idea.
We ruled out our lunch bunch gal pals because according to her criteria, they are all married. And she also felt she didn’t want to include any closer friend as it would just be weird and she didn’t know if she could trust her friends to keep quiet as they don’t want this “getting out.”
I don’t know Valerie and her husband, Raul, well enough to feel I could help play matchmaker with anyone else I know that they don’t know. I knew right away that I might be the right person for them and I sensed she felt that way too. I was not in a position to offer that without Mike’s approval. So I tucked that idea away until talking with Mike.
Mike said no, for now. We need to get to know them better – so Raul and Valerie were invited to our first “football day” last Sunday. John and Donna agreed we would tone it down as the purpose was just to get to know them better. There wasn’t any nudity or sex or kink of any kind. Yawn!! LOL. It was just a sort of meet-and-greet. Even though the only consideration is whether to offer me as a “third” for them, in a lot of ways they would be part of our “Circle of Trust,” or at least partial-members, so certainly we all needed to know them better, especially Mike.
I didn’t tell Valerie that Mike was evaluating them or that I was considering offering myself as their third. Doing so would be awkward if Mike eventually says no. And if Valerie flat-out asks me at some point, I will just politely decline, figuring I could always come back later and say I reconsidered.
It’s too early to know for sure, but for now, it’s still a “No” from Mike. We plan on hanging out more with Raul and Valerie, so we will see how it goes. They are nice, but they do have a different vibe than our current Circle of Trust. We sense that while clearly they have opened up to each other, they are still uncomfortable (afraid?) to admit it or demonstrate it in any way. They still put on a very conservative, vanilla front.
Mike feels it’s one of two things. One, they are unable to be honest in who they are, thus too risky for us to get involved with. Or Two, they are not being honest with each other, and thus still too risky for us to get involved with. Not that he expects them to shout their kink from the rooftops, but, they come across as still coming to terms with their own kinks. That’s just not a good environment to drop a “third” into.
And during our meet and greet another idea came to me. It just might be that Donna would be a good candidate as their third. It’s not really Donna’s thing, and I suspect John would have to be there which may be a no-no to Raul and Valerie. But Donna seemed to hit it off pretty well with Raul and Valerie. So who knows what’s to come?!
Going back to my prior post, they need to get to the point they understand their emotions and actions, rather than hate, ridicule, or ignore them. And they just don’t seem to be there yet, not that they can’t get there. Simply put, they need to gain more confidence in their newfound DD.
They need to walk before they run. Or is it, look before they leap? No wait, I got it, it’s spanksome before they threesome!
ha ha ha ha