Kayla had a birthday this week. She’s 26. It’s so amazing to experience who she is today and to have been part of the journey that brought her to this point. We also recently had our 2nd anniversary as … well, as I don’t know what you would call it? Publicly bonded triad? I’ll save the Kayla and family update for another post. This one will be about the person I know best. Me!
I want to dive right in to the fulfillment I get from being a submissive wife in Domestic Discipline.
While I will focus mainly on how I feel about me, I want to start with what it means to my marriage. DD has taken the intimacy level to immeasurable heights. I don’t just mean sexually. By being 100% vulnerable to each other, we both feel completely safe and secure to reveal the truth about ourselves to each other. By being totally free to express our needs, desires, and whims, with the sometimes illogical origins, we are actually revealing the “walls” that are around us. And by revealing them to each other, those walls disappear. As I’ve written many times, the result is, we are one, but not the same (cue U2).
Vulnerability is an amazing thing. Maybe I will post about it some time. — If you are new here, I’ve done like a bazillion posts about the power of vulnerability. Go to my shortcuts and there are nine of them referenced in my Nine Thoughts on Finding Happiness.
To sum up all that submission gives me — It shrinks the world!
It simplifies, synthesizes, and purifies. It filters out all the noise and leaves me able to focus singularly on what is truly important to me.
It gives me structure, and the more rules I have, the more secure I feel.
It provides me clear standards at which to measure my moments and my days.
It gives me time and energy, as I no longer do things that are unimportant, frivolous, or uninspiring.
It makes me accountable to the people that are most important to me and through accountability I am fulfilled and redeemed.
It gives me an incredible amount of love, devotion, and attention from Mike. He is deeply invested in my day-to-day activities like never before.
The sex is incredible! Just sayin’.
Yes, in order to get all those things I have had to give up some things as well. I gave up various powers in exchange for all of the above. Best deal I’ve ever made!
Serving Mike as I do was not done on a whim. We didn’t get to where we are overnight. It was a choice I initially made, and he subsequently made. It filled me with a freedom unlike any I had ever felt. It was absent any pressure or outside urgency. It just felt right from the beginning through today. We somehow found something in each other that we didn’t even know was missing within us and between us. We both offered parts of ourselves that no one had ever offered us nor that we had ever offered each other.
It’s NOT EASY. It’s hard work, dedication, devotion, determination, kindness, and empathy. The hardest part? It’s honesty and communication at a 100% transparent level. It’s the removal of all boundaries between two people. It’s a willingness to explore each other, allow each other to explore the world around us, and explore ourselves all without judgment or fear from the other.
OUT OF OUR VULNERABILITIES CAME OUR STRENGTHS!
And if I had to do it again, my choices would have remained the same.
This. Is. Who. I. Am!
P.S. Did I mention the sex is incredible?