I should give you an update as to the conclusion of Chelsea’s stay with us and where things stand between her and her husband. Perhaps another post. I am overdo for sharing a kink-related story. . . as if the whole Chelsea thing is just normal vanilla stuff! lol. Anyway, I thought it was time to write about something fun and even a bit silly, ORGASM CONTROL.
Mike decided I would be subject to NO-vember. As in no orgasms all month. In fact, perhaps even no sex at all! But before I elaborate, let’s get on the same page regarding Orgasm Control.
I’ve shared that late last year I agreed to give control over my orgasms to Mike. That is, I can only cum when he has given me permission. As part of that, I can not even masturbate without explicit permission. I also shared that back in June, both me and Kayla were subject to Juno.
Mike was the one that came to me with the idea and, always willing to consider anything that gives Mike more control and influence over me, I was game. It all seemed a lot like a game to me. It’s such a silly thing for a couple to do, even in the context of our less-than-vanilla lifestyle. Or so I thought! I’ve learned it’s serious stuff!
Serious in that it has had profound consequences – positive consequences. It has had a far greater impact than I thought it would. It may be silly, but it’s also serious in a uniquely kinky way!
Orgasm Control isn’t just about abstinence. In fact, it’s less about abstinence and more about simply not being allowed to orgasm during sex. There’s a lot of “edging” that goes on. Here’s a link for the uninitiated. Also, here’s another great article on Kinkly.
The folklore is that edging turns a woman into a constantly dripping brain-dead sex-crazed goon who is ready, willing, and able to perform any sexual act on command. I learned that this folklore is actually fairly accurate. Of course, with me, Mike was starting with someone that isn’t far removed from already being that caricature.
I’ve shared before that Domestic Discipline has given me a heightened sexual feeling 24×7. On a sexual desire scale of 1 to 10, I feel I my “baseline” state is a 2. For context, think of it as being in a constant state where I am 20% of the way to an orgasm. I believe it is because I am so happy and fulfilled and my mindset of constant submission stimulates me sexually even though I may not be thinking sexual thoughts. Submission is just sexy to me! Orgasm Control (OC) added to that baseline. . . yep, “dripping sex crazed goon” is not too far off.
I must ask permission to masturbate or for any sex I have, as well as ask permission to have an orgasm. He may also tell me to edge at any time. Since adopting OC, it reduced how often I masturbate to climax. And maybe about a third of the time I am not allowed to cum during sex. So I’ve gone from daily-cummer to maybe twice a week on average, three or four in a good week.
This increased my “baseline” sexual desire to at least a 3.3 or maybe even a 4. That may not sound like much, but think of it as being 33% of your way to an orgasm — as your default state throughout the day. OC can be summed up like this:
Even when I’m not horny, I’m still a little horny.
When Mike tells me to edge it doesn’t take me long to go from 33% to 99%. And then I have to stop. No orgasm. The more days I am only allowed to edge, the more my baseline increases, until, indeed, as foretold by the kink prophecies, I am desperate to have an orgasmic release.
And when finally allowed to cum, it’s almost never just an “Okay you can cum.” It’s an edge, then a stop. Another edge, then a stop. Another, and maybe another. And then finally, usually with me begging to be allowed to cum, he allows it. Typically, I am not a very vocal cummer. But the best way I can describe orgasms after extended OC is this:
I beg him with my words, my eyes, my body.
I scream my desire, squealing phrases
that will make me flush in shame
when I recall them tomorrow.
These are by far the strongest most earth shattering orgasms I’ve every had. It makes OC worth it!
And as a bonus, it just tickles my submissive spot to know that I can only orgasm if Mike allows it. I often have to ask permission to do so. The act of asking, sometimes begging, for it has its own impact. It tickles my submissive spot even more, and at a time I can’t stand much more “tickling.”
Like Juno (June-no), NOvember is another month one can dedicate to OC. While I live 24×7 with OC, (ha, sounds like the beginning of a pharmaceutical commercial), these “special” months are designated for more intense and focused OC.
Mike decided that he didn’t want me and Kayla to both be subject to his NOvember. He announced that Juno will be for Kayla, and NOvember will be for me. So, yea me!
Further, while our first Juno had a lot of edging and sex with no orgasm, Mike said he would make these “events” to be more about overall abstinence with some of the edging thrown it. But no cumming, so yep, November will be an orgasm free month for me, unless I mess up.
Oh – speaking of messing up. What happens if I let an O slip in? For one, I am expected to handle a UO by making it a UFO. That’s our-speak for Unauthorized Orgasm and Unauthorized Failed Orgasm. A failed orgasm, better known as a “ruined orgasm” is one where I am expected to NOT enjoy the moment. I do my best to distract or disrupt what’s going on down there and everywhere else in my body. Basically, try and make it as weak of an O as possible. In addition to UFO, I would also be subject to disciplinary action and perhaps a prolonged period of abstinence.
Have I ever slipped and released a UO! Yes, once!
What is a typical day in NOvember been like? Perverted minds want to know.
Next post, maybe?
NEXT: 368. Passive-Aggressive vs Aggressive-Aggressive: Chelsea Update
9 thoughts on “367. No-vember: Orgasm Control”
Welcome to my world!! lol.
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My wife teases and denies all my orgasm, but sometimes I slip and have a ruined orgasm, maybe once a month. I enjoy the constant pleasure of being horny and on edge more than a few seconds of extreme pleasure. I turned the tables on my wife for 5 days in a row by allowing her to use her Magic Wand every night, but when she started to orgasm, I pulled it away. She could not handle it, and went crazy with frustration.
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I really appreciate you posting this, Jennifer! Prior to reading this, I’ve never had any interest in orgasm control…but I can see now that there is a certain benefit 🙂 This may be something to try…
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Thanks. I’ve read, in amusement, about OC for years. It never interested me and as seemed silly and pointless. I was wrong! And for some reason, this time it’s been very intense for me. Maybe I am just more horny right now. Whatever the case, I am having to tell my mind to enjoy the aches of desire. Maybe if I can take joy in the urge, I can better control said urge. Let me know if you try it. Curious to know what others experience
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That is exactly how I have always felt about it! I mean, I enjoy cumming so much…why the heck give that up? But, the way you’ve described it…it sounds like it can make orgasming even better…and that I can be on board with! I will definitely post about it if we decide to try it 🙂
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I think the fact that I enjoy it so much is part of why giving it to him to control is so appealing. It’s submitting to something that brings me joy. It’s weird, but the joy of submission is greater when giving him control of things that, by themselves, being me a lot of joy. [sigh]. Such is the mind of a submissive!
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