I thought I’d write a bit about my relationship with Kayla. Just her and I. This post is a bit of a ramble – a collection of various disjointed thoughts on our relationship. Sorry about that, I wasn’t feeling creative enough to weave a story with a nice intro, arch, and conclusion.
It sounds and feels very natural to me to say we are in love. It was a progressive thing. I shared the background of her relationship with our family in several posts and introduced her on Post 76. Meet the Babysitter. She grew up around my family and even joined us on some family vacations. The way we described it at the time was that Kayla was like a cousin to our kids and Mike and I were like her uncle and aunt. There were times we even told people she was our niece, or she told people we were her aunt and uncle. It made it easier to explain and I know it made Kayla feel good as well.
When I decided to come out to Kayla about my submissive lifestyle, I had absolutely no inkling that it would lead to where it has led. I wanted her to know about my DD simply because she hung around our household a lot and I no longer wanted to hide it from her. I simply wanted to be my full self around her.
The revelation to her, covered in Post 77. Heart to Heart with Kayla, resulted in her confiding a lot in me. I learned a lot more about her regarding her sexuality (pansexual). She also shared she was a “third” in a relationship with another couple. Even then, I had no thoughts of her and I together, or her and Mike, or any of that. But I was feeling something at the time. I think it goes back to the power of vulnerability. People become very attractive when they are vulnerable. But I didn’t think of it as love. It was more like adoration. But, I did give sex a thought but only in jest as it seemed so cliché regarding sex with the babysitter. I didn’t seriously think anything of it. It wasn’t long until those thoughts began to be more serious.
Kayla admitted that she always had a crush on Mike, ever since she was about 13 or 14-years-old. And she says that while she didn’t identify as bisexual or attracted to girls in general, she always felt attracted to me. She wanted to be like me, wanted my approval, and physically liked being close to me. She said the first time she masturbated to the thoughts of being with a woman, it was a fantasy that included me. Kayla says that when I opened up to her about my DD it immediately lit the spark that was already in her heart for me and for Mike. (Vulnerability and authenticity can be powerful like that).
As for me and Mike, our sexual attraction and deeper love for Kayla took a little time to build, but not much. For Mike, it started as simply sexual. He was initially ‘for it” simply on sexual grounds. For me, it was a mix of emotions and reasons. Part love, part curiosity, part submission to Mike, part excitement, and part wanting to help Kayla.
As we quickly got to know the full “adult” Kayla, both Mike and I realized how much we loved being around her. She injected a new energy in the house and fit so perfectly with how Mike and I “operate” as a couple. It is hard to describe what it is, but her demeanor, her take on life, her approach to things, etc., all complimented me and Mike. They aren’t exact, no more than they are exact within a two person relationship. The few differences were complimentary and never a source of conflict. Instead, they were sources of growth for all of us. Just a perfect fit that I can’t fully describe.
She moved in just after Christmas, so it has only been five months, but it feels longer. Not longer in the sense of someone overstaying a welcome, but longer in the sense that I can’t imagine not having her with us. In addition to the intense emotional connection she has with me and with Mike, there is of course the amazing sex, the submission, and the mundane household support. It is amazing what one more set of hands means to running a household. I was already running a pretty tight ship regarding household chores, but with Kayla here, the house is immaculate. Mike had to add dozens of new chores for us to do because we work so well in getting everything done. She enjoys the various household acts of service as much as I do.
Day-to-day Kayla and I stay very busy. Every day has many household duties for us to perform and we diligently do them all. I don’t think I mentioned our fish before. We have four different fish tanks, some fresh water, some salt water. They take a lot care and attention. Mike’s the fish aficionado and Kayla knows an awful lot about them too. It is a hobby they share in.
There are days with some down time, and Kayla does schedule in time to spend with her friends or visit her mom. There are some days where Kayla and I have sex during the day, just the two of us. And there have been some threesomes with just the two of us and Donna.
We also spend a lot of time talking about just about anything ranging from current events, pop culture, you name it. We also talk a lot about our individual needs for submissiveness. As I shared before, Kayla thrives on a more Master/Slave dynamic with Mike. She is submissive to me, but definitely in a D/s way and even then, I’d call it “D/S-light.” She calls me Ma’am, and always make sure there isn’t anything I need of her before she does something for herself.
I spank her when necessary, depending on the situation. If it is something significant, I might do an appropriate immediate punishment and leave it for Mike to determine her ultimate punishment needs once he gets home. On days Mike is working at home, I consult with him and he might instruct me as to a punishment to perform, or he may tell me he will address it when he has a moment.
Anytime I punish Kayla I give Mike a full report. When I do punish her I am accountable to Mike for giving Kayla “the punishment she needs and that is consistent with the punishment he would give.” This means I have to try to think like Mike in determining how to punish her. I could be punished by Mike if he feels I was too soft or too harsh on Kayla. Mike will question me as to why I choose a particular punishment and why I thought he would agree it was appropriate. So far, I’ve gotten it right and haven’t been punished for giving an “incorrect” punishment to Kayla.
While I don’t thrive on being a Dom, I do enjoy my role with Kayla. It is a softer type of Dom. I like the lecturing part of a punishment the best, and I like the after care. When I am spanking her or performing some other punishment, I identify more with her than as a Dom. I think about what she is feeling and going through and don’t focus on or give thought to what I am doing or seeing. I don’t get a sense of “domination” but I do get a sense of her submission.
I have mentioned before that I love to watch her and Mike. Even just knowing they are having sex is arousing to me. I like sharing Mike with her in that way, and I like knowing that she enjoys herself immensely. I have no complaints about Mike’s lovemaking, but Kayla considers his prowess to be at the level of a sex god. I like that she feels that way, and I like the fact that Mike knows she feels that way. I will say, Mike is very attentive to her sexual needs and I think because of the whole dynamic we have, Mike is able to give her things that other guys, especially those closer to her age, simply can’t or would never give.
If there is anything more you’d like to know, just comment. I am happy to share or answer any questions.
Oh – and in case you’re wondering, “Did Jen just post an actual picture of her and Kayla?” Part of me wants to keep you in suspense on that one. It would be a nice cliff hanger…
Okay, so no, it isn’t, but it is a great representation. It is about the right age difference – the person in the photo looks perhaps just a few years older than I am (I am referring to the young gal on the right. Not!). Both people share a lot of facial features consistent to how we each look, which is why I used it. We are both brunette’s though. So sorry to disappoint if you thought it was us. Hey, this vulnerability thing can only be taken so far. If it makes you feel better, maybe it really is us?
Next: Post 136. Submitted Wife