273. Immersion 2018

You may want to review Immersion 2016 and these three posts on Immersion 2017 (Post 141, Post 145,  and Post 151).  This year included some of what we’ve done before and some very extended play (torture) sessions.  And once again for a few days of our Immersion we stayed at the same get-away in the woods as we did last year.   

We named last year’s Immersion “The Forbidden Zone,” and want to have a tradition of naming them as a way to remember them.   Last year we explored some M/s type dynamics and various other kinks that seemed “forbidden” to us previously.  Mike said we would have to just refer to this year’s event as Immersion 2018 – for now.  He has a surprise that will become the nickname, and telling us what it is might ruin the surprise.  So for now, “Immersion 2018” it is.

Oh, and I was using the term “torture” facetiously.  It wasn’t torturing, but it was very physically demanding.  Think full body flog with lots of spanking and whipping – butt, breasts, thighs, palms, feet, you name it.  Then there were extended times of sensory deprivation. Oh yeah, and add in clothespins, and more clothespins, and then some more clothespins, and you will start to get the picture. 

To sum it up in one word – delightful!    Yes, I enjoyed it, as did Kayla and Mike.  And we had some “guest appearances”  that included John and Donna, Matt, and a mystery couple!

MYSTERY COUPLE?
Mike told me and Kayla he had a surprise in store for us.  I never imagined it would involve another person, let alone a couple.  Through John and via FetLife, Mike had met this couple and felt they were perfect for us to explore some new kink territory.

We never got their names.  We referred to him as “Mister,” and her as “Nurse Ann.”  Not having their names added a bit of mystique and additional naughtiness, not that we needed more to make it feel naughty.  

Upon introduction, my first reaction to Mister was, “Wow!”  The first thing I noticed was that he was very muscular – as in, his muscles have muscles.   And once his shirt was off (later), it was no surprise that his abs weren’t a six pack, but an eight pack.    And it wasn’t just the muscles that were striking.  He was handsome and had the perfect “come hither eyes and stare.  And it turned out he was extremely personable and outgoing.   Our guess is that he is in his early 40’s.  Oh, and he is African American.  

Then there was his wife, Nurse Ann.  She is tall, matching Mister at six feet.   She has this Nordic look to her, brunette with milky white skin.  The contrast in skin tone between Mister and Nurse Ann added to their individual beauty.   She isn’t muscular but is fit, and our guess is that she is in her late 30’s.  She didn’t talk much, and when she did, it was always a short, monotoned response.

We were told up front she would not speak much and that Mister would answer most questions.  My initial thoughts that the two of them would be part of some eight-person orgy were quickly laid to rest (me, Mike, Kayla, John, Donna, Matt, Mister, Nurse Ann).  Mister explained the ground rules were that sex would not include Nurse Ann, as she had a specific role to play.  More on her later. 

KAYLA’S DESIRES
I shared before that Kayla has always had this “gang bang” desire where she could have sex with four guys at once.   Yes, we all call it that as that is how Kayla has always referred to it.   While the word is harsh, it is accurate and she wants to own that word (hum…sounds a bit like me and the word whore, but I digress).

Kayla first shared this desire with us well over a year ago.  Both Mike and I were very cautious about fulfilling her stated desire.  Until now Mike has passed on opportunities to make this happen for Kayla.   Our concerns were that perhaps she had unrealistic expectations about it.    The actual feelings it may evoke could be something very different from the “fantasy” feelings of a loss of control or being treated as a sex object.  

While Mike didn’t consult with me prior to Immersion, we have had talks about Kayla’s growth in general and specifically about her sexual confidence and maturity.   I should dedicate a post to “Tips for Increasing Sexual Confidence.”  As I look back, there are many specific things Kayla did or experienced that helped her with this.  It would be interesting to catalog those things.   Whatever her steps were, Mike felt the time was right to allow Kayla to fulfill this desire.

She was able to fulfill that fantasy with Mike, John, Matt, and Mister.   And if you need a visual, well, as per her fantasy, at one point she had a dick in her pussy and butt, while alternating sucking on two others.  Then, while she was in a missionary position, they each took turns with her until they came.  If orgasms are a good proxy, then she had a fantastic time as evidenced by her three orgasms during it all.

MINI ORGY
By the way, I didn’t have all four men at once.  What do you think I am, a whore?  lol.  No, it just has never been a desire of mine, nor Mike’s – not that I would have been opposed to it if Mike wanted it.  I did have sex with Mister during our mini-orgy.  Is there some official number for when a “mini-orgy” becomes an actual orgy?

During the sex, we (minus Nurse Ann), would sort of rotate in different pairings or threesomes and such.  At any given time I found myself with a dick or pussy in my mouth, or a dick in one orifice or another, or someone’s tongue in my pussy or mouth.  It was delightfully decadent!

And while Nurse Ann was off limits sex-wise, she did get naked and masturbate as she watched.  Was there some other purpose to her being there?   More on that later.

OTHER IMMERSION ACTIVITIES
Mister and Ann were only there one full day, spent the night, and left early the next morning.   John, Donna, and Matt were there for all or part of about three days.   On the days it was just me, Mike, and Kayla, one day included me playing “pet,” just like last year.  I could only walk on all fours, eat out of a bowl, and use a make-shift litter box.   And there was Kayla’s DDlg/ABDL day, which she loved. 

Kayla doesn’t want to do the DDlg full time but since the end of Immersion she has expressed she wants to do this more than just one day a year.   That’s difficult with J in the house, but Mike will look for opportunities.  Also, this year the DDlg had an additional authentic element to it.  More on that later. 

The rental home is in a heavily wooded area and you can’t really see any other houses except for a few spots on the property and even then, it would take binoculars to see anything.  We all were always naked, inside or outside the house.  This didn’t feel as unique or naughty as it did last year. Since adopted naturism, naked is now our default and natural feeling state.

At the rental, Mike also made a temporary open-air out-house that Kayla and I had to use.  In case you are wondering wtf this has to do with anything, the idea behind this is the vulnerability of using the bathroom out in the open and blurring the line between humble and humiliate.

During Immersion we have a “zero tolerance” rule on non-submissive behaviors.  Mike is already strict (we like it that way), but the difference is that during Immersion Mike is looking for the slightest infraction.   And when he finds one, what may warrant a verbal reminder outside Immersion earns us a spanking during Immersion.   The lectures we get are also amped up and denigrating.

Last year we had a rule we could not speak to him unless we were physically touching him – not sexually, but a simple hand on his arm or where ever.  This year he modified this.  We could not speak to him unless we held his hand.  There were some exceptions that Mike would grant, but not many.  There were many spankings for not following this rule as it was very difficult to remember; however, it was a very enjoyable rule.  Such a simple thing, and something we should all do more often.  Touch one another that is, not the spanking part – unless that happens to be your thing too, hee-hee. 

REFLECTION?
I will post separately about my reflections on Immersion 2018.   As I wrote in my prior post, it made me realize that in many significant ways I have arrived at the destination my blogging was driving me towards.    But before I can reflect on Immersion 2018,  I guess I should tell you about the role Nurse Ann had in our event.  Next post!  

Next: 274. Got Milk(ing)? Immersion 2018

28. Losing Myself? (and a sexy story)

This is another story about our get-togethers with our neighbors, John and Donna, who I introduced in my post Putting on a Show.  I am sharing some emotions I have that I am still trying to sort out – PLUS – you also get to hear about my most surprisingly erotic experience ever.

This happened almost a month ago and I am still trying to come to terms with it. Not in a bad way, but in my usual self-reflective way of always trying to get to the bottom of a feeling. I was waiting to share this story once I sorted out my feelings; however, as I can’t seem to make any progress and though sharing the story might help. I feel a bit like a hypocrite, especially after a recent post boasting of being so  sure of myself. But, I never said I was perfect, and I know I will have moments of doubt. The issue is whether those moments are fleeting or long lived. Here’s what happened.

At a recent get-together at John and Donna’s, Donna shared that she has been feeling conflicted the last several times we were over. She stated that when she and John were alone they were M/s, but when others were around they were just John and Donna. Now that we knew about their relationship and the fact that her and I even display our submissiveness when we all get together, any time we were around she was having a hard time discerning between when to be “on” and when to be “off” as slave. She felt like she was often only “half on” when around us and it didn’t feel comfortable to her. She felt she was failing in her role and that her role is very important to her.

I asked, “So what does it mean to hang out with Donna the slave?”

Donna said it is different than Donna the neighbor as her submission is deep. It was physical, erotic, sexual, and psychological. It goes far into exploring the space between pleasure and pain and involves intense physical sensations and psychological scenarios that test and push her limits. While they had shared some of this with us and we even got to witness one of her floggings, she said that was only the tip of her submission. Full-on slave mode would be different, and we were about to find out just how different. John explained that once Donna was “on” that we are not to speak to her or even acknowledge her in any other way other than how John has directed. Basically consider her a “piece of furniture” that we can ask John for permission to utilize. Donna’s sole purpose is to serve John and be fully attentive to only John unless he instructs otherwise.

They asked us if we were up to that? I explained that when we got together I wanted to interact with Donna, my friend, not Donna the slave. Donna said, yes, they thought similarly, and had an idea to balance her need for submission and their need for our continued friendship and interaction.   Donna said she is accustomed to turning it off and on, but just can’t have this in-between state. What they suggested was alternating such that when they visited us, they would be “public” John and Donna, and when we visted them, they would be “private M/s John and Donna.

That worked for Mike and me.   With that, John said, “And so it begins. We’ll be right back.” John and Donna left to their bedroom. Mike said, “This ought to be interesting!”

Soon we saw the two of them emerging from the hallway. John was carrying various “supplies” and was leading Donna by a leash and she walking on all fours. She had a collar around her neck and a mask covering her eyes. She was wearing a black cupless mini dress. As he led her past us, I can see she had no panties on under her mini-dress.

John reminded us that we are not to speak to Donna. Further, Donna is not to make eye contact with anyone when her blindfold is off. John said Donna was there for his amusement and he has some fun in mind that we all get to share in. John tapped on this small pad on the floor near his chair. Without a word from John, Donna felt her way around the pad and then kneeled in the center of it. Her body arched at attention and her hands were clasped behind her back. “Good girl,” said John.

I mentioned before how gorgeous Donna’s breasts are. Perfectly shaped, firm, natural, 36-D’s on a fit body. Her nipples are full and erect, teasing to be suckled. Her pink areolas tempted me as well as the pink slowly faded into her bosom with the faintest of circular outline where they ended. Their puffiness was every so slight, further teasing an invitation to my mouth. The positioning of her body combined with the support around the cupless outfit further accentuated her voluptuousness. I was already in love with her boobs and now they were displayed to perfection.

John told us that Donna would be our entertainment for the night. John took off Donna’s mask and Donna stared forward, not making eye contact with anyone. She had a calm and resolute look on her face. Her stance, stare, and dress (more like undress) evoked a great vulnerability that I was finding highly erotic and stimulating.

John began rubbing Donna’s nipples with some ice. He circled her nipple very slowly and occasionally he would stop and just hold it in one place for a while. He then took two ice packs out of their freezer. They were about the size of his hand. He pressed the packs hard against her breasts. Donna took in a deep breath followed by many short breaths in until she just held her breath for about ten seconds before exhaling. Obviously they were cold. Her nipples stood even more erect than before. The wanting that was already inside of me literally made my mouth water such that I had to swallow. John then grabbed a crop that had this hand-shaped end to it. He proceeded to whip her breasts with it, focusing mostly on her nipples. John stopped once her breasts reached a pinkish hue.  Donna just gazed directly forward, as if all three of us where not there.

John walked over to a table and picked up a burning candle and walked over to Donna. He dripped the hot cream colored wax across one of her breasts. Donna pursed her lips but remained resolute. I remember watching as the hot wax made its way down her breast, only to harden and stop just short of her areola. He dripped more. Again I watched it run down her breast, this time it reached the areola but went around her nipple before stopping. I remember staring with great intensity, watching each drop of hot wax run down this amazing breast. Finally, a bead of hot wax made it over her nipple. I was really getting turned on watching every bead of wax meander down her breast.  My eyes would glance at Donna who was not making a sound. Her face remained stoic, except that her jaw was clenched. The visual of the wax going down her breast and the way she was surrendering herself was so compelling to me that I felt like I was feeling everything that Donna was feeling. It was very odd, but oh so pleasurable. I was getting really turned on.

He then handed a candle to Mike and told him to “take care of the other tit.” Mike walked over and began dripping wax on her other breast. Now it was even more intense for me as I watched Mike do this. Donna’s reactions increased as her body would rise up, tensing with pain, and then relaxing in bliss. After Mike poured four or five times, John then told me to come over and take a turn. I would have never thought doing this would be such a turn on. I could feel both the butterflies in my stomach and the wetness growing in my pussy. I remember even thinking, “Wow, why this such a turn is on for me?”

We all kept pouring hot wax on her breasts until there was a nice layer of wax covering every part of both boobs. I really felt that all I would have to do is touch myself for about ten seconds and I would cum. I was shocked at just how turned on I was… but I wasn’t complaining.

As John took our candles, Mike came over and held my hand. His simple touch set sparks through my belly and I could feel even greater wetness in my pants. I remember us both staring at Donna as Donna avoided eye contact and started ahead into nothingness. Other than her slow breathing, she didn’t move or make a sound. The serenity of the moment with Mike and I holding hands, staring at her sweet surrender was turning me on. John grabbed a flogger. He had us step back and he began whipping one of her breasts. He was hitting pretty hard. He kept hitting until almost all the wax was gone from one breast. Then he gave a flogger to Mike and said he could try and clear off the other breast.   All of this just turned me on more. Part of the turn on is that I have this thing for Donna and would love to have sex with her (she isn’t into women, and while I would so have sex with her, it’s been about 25 years since I’ve been with one). Plus I am completely in love with her breasts, and the whole hot wax and now whipping of her tits was getting me closer and closer to the edge. I remember thinking that if this kept going I would actually come. I had never came from just watching something. I always required a rub or touch or some sort of contact.

It took Mike quite a while to get it off as he kept having to hit harder and harder. I noticed that Donna actually had tears in her eyes. I know she loves this stuff and while it did have to hurt, she was enjoying herself. Another odd thing – her tears were just another turn on for me. They were not tears of sadness. I can feel she was crying for completeness. With each strike across her chest I felt I too was with her on that journey to completeness.

There were still little bits of wax here and there but for the most part the wax was gone. John then handed me a flogger and asked me to clear the rest. I was surprised how hard I had to hit in order to get the remaining flakes to start falling. Then, as I was working to clear one breast, John started hitting her other breast with the other flogger. He told me to keep going as well. So we were alternating. I would hit one breast and a second later he would hit the other and then I would hit again, etc.

I remember watching Donna’s face and as the very last flake of wax was flown off her beautiful breasts, these two long tears went down her face.   The entirety of the experience coupled with that ending was enough to put me over the edge and I actually came while I was standing there whipping her.

I stopped whipping as I came. At first I tried to hold back my reaction as it all seemed silly to me that this episode made me come. But then I just let it go as I figured it was too obvious anyway and hey, they had all see me have an orgasm before.   As I breathed heavily and let out a whoosh of air through my mouth, I caught Donna looking over at me and cracking a little smile before she quickly averted further eye contact. Mike said, “Wow, Jenny, did you just come?”

I admitted that I had and I shared with them that this was amazingly erotic to me. There was more to that visit that I could share but it isn’t relevant to this post and I’ve gone on for long enough.

The thing that has been weighing on my mind since then is what is it that I found so erotic and exciting? I really surprised myself about getting that excited and even now just writing and thinking about it gets my juices flowing. In addition to all the reasons I already gave about why it was erotic to me, I discovered the biggest turn on for me was Donna’s submission. And I find myself wanting to do it again, but with me in Donna’s place.

As I write this, I think I had a breakthrough. I believe I am becoming addicted to submission. I know that can be a real thing as the endorphins that get released can become addictive.   While I tend to be one to just go with a feeling, I am holding back on going with this one. I think I am concerned that this DD thing is going into a different stage. A stage of deeper submission, a dip into the realm of BDSM. I think if I have the three of them do to me what we did to Donna, then what’s next? And what is next after that? And after that?

Those thoughts scare me a bit. I am usually so sure of myself, but for this moment, I am not. That’s why I feel a bit like a hypocrite. Okay, so, we all have moments of doubt. The good news is, experience tells me these moments don’t last too long and clarity is right around the corner. I am too self-reflective and too much of a positive thinker to let this weigh me down very long. I’ll think it to death until I solve it. And, because of DD, I now have Mike to share this with and perhaps together we can sort it out.

It’s like I don’t know if this journey is about finding myself, or losing myself? Perhaps, to find oneself you must first lose yourself?
NEXT:  29. A girl has no name – A Submissive Frenzy