I feel a bit like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned. Of course, my fiddling involves my clit! LOL.
Seriously though, with all that’s going on it seems rather self-indulgent to talk about my sexploits. We had our annual Immersion the week of March 8. The theme of Immersion 2020 was “Swapfest.” Think of it as the complete opposite of “social distancing.” At least our “fluid exchange” was limited to just a small group of friends who all were, and are, reporting that they are completely healthy. In hindsight, it was dumb of us to have done that, but March 8, was a different world than March 23.
I had a TTWD-related post ready to go, but before I post that one I felt compelled to throw in my Covid-19 commentary. So let’s put aside the kink and get serious for a moment and remind ourselves of some things we may easily forget in these times —
People who deal with anxiety, depression, cognitive impairments, or mental illness may be more severely impacted by the added stress and worry.
Even if you or a family member doesn’t have any of those issues, anxiety levels are higher for all of us, even the otherwise “normally” functioning people. (Hey, who just said, “Jen, sorry to tell you, but YOU are NOT “normally functioning!” I heard that. Come on, admit it. It was you!).
Children process information differently and can be more stressed than adults, which in turn can cause added stress for the parents. Creating a routine can reduce stress, so find a way to structure their days at home and give them something fun and exciting to look forward to. A family game night, or movie night (pretty much endless movies available on streaming services).
Your family may be distancing from society, but don’t isolate from each other within a household. Find things to do collectively.
Use it as an opportunity to teach kids how to prepare a meal (or if that doesn’t excite them, make a cake or cookies). There are all sorts of things you can do to try and keep the kids from bouncing off the walls. Go through old photo albums or your high school yearbook with them. Walk around the block together, google arts and crafts – it’s amazing what you can do with a toilet paper roll and some glue. Build an awesome blanket fort with them, google how to make cool paper airplanes…. there’s a lot of fun things you can do to keep kids entertained beyond video games. And finding things you can do with them will allows you an opportunity to do this thing with them called “talking” which is the very best activity you can do with them right now.
Even if there aren’t kids at home, it might be fun to do some of these things with a spouse or an older child. Who doesn’t love a cool blanket fort?
CERTAINTY AND CONTROL
Everyone deals with uncertainty by trying to add a level of certainty and control to whatever they can. For some it may be subtle and positive – organize that closet, garage, or room that is in disarray, or simply re-arrange the furniture in your house. For others it may not be so subtle or positive – demand those around us behave and act a certain way, become controlling, demanding. Or it may be more innocuous – buy all the toilet paper you can get your hands on.
Another constructive thing is to sit down and review your finances – make a budget for the first time – look and see where you money has been going. Look into any insurance you may need, assuming you feel good about your income and ability to pay for it. We are all living the unexpected, so some people may feel better about owning insurance that deals with other unexpected things in life.
All of these are things some people may do to try and feel a sense of control in the face of uncertainty. It’s our way of coping and saying, “you may have disrupted a significant part of my life, but I’ll be damned if I have get reduced to using an old t-shirt to wipe my butt.” That sounds like it is a joke, but it isn’t. Really. Buying certain essentials, like toilet paper, has a positive psychological benefit in times of uncertainty.
What have you done to get your mind of things and that gives you some semblance of order and control? Would love to see you share that in the comments.
Donating can give us a positive emotional lift! Social services will be stressed in many areas. Donate to Meals on Wheels or some other local charity that will be challenged to provide more services. If you prefer to help animals, most Zoo’s are ran as non-profits relying on attendance to stay afloat. Close the zoo and their primary source of revenue stops. They need donations.
Even if it is just $10, it feels good and makes you feel like you are doing something more than just organizing a closet or buying toilet paper.
Realize that most businesses are NOT multi-billion dollar corporations. They often have enough cash on hand that if they close their doors they might be able to make payroll once, maybe twice if they are lucky. Then – they are done. And that small business that supplies services or materials to larger businesses — if the small business is gone, the larger business can’t get what they need. I am no financial prognosticator, but 4 out of 5 submissive kinky housewife’s agree that we could see 20% unemployment in the U.S. While the government works out stimulus and bail out options, WE can all choose empathy and compassion. It’s free, but admittedly can be in short supply.
Another free activity! We don’t always know what the next person or family member is dealing with or how they are dealing with it, so be extra compassionate. Don’t add the their dread. Throwing a pity party will only bring both of you down. Sometimes just asking someone how they are doing can be very therapeutic. Call friends, call family members, even those you haven’t connected with in a long time. They may not want to talk, which is fine, but you might be surprised. If they do talk, then just talk to them. Just show empathy and compassion and try not to project your own worry and stress on them – because here’s a tip — they’ve got plenty already!
Don’t add to the uncertainty by saying, “I heard this happened, I heard that is going to happen…” Be in listen only mode. Think of it as an opportunity to be a calm and friendly voice. These folks may have only talked to other concerned friends and relatives, or is getting all their news from Facecrook, er, Facebook. You might be the only person they’ve talked to who hasn’t freaked out over the fact that, most certainly, the virus is a precursor to a bigger attack by alien demons who are controlled by the devil who has been set free because of gay marriage.
HELP MAY BE OUT THERE
People often aren’t aware of the social services that may be available in their area, so remind them they shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to local services if they or a family member needs help. Almost every community has Meals on Wheels type programs for elderly. There’s typically mental health crisis support and a host of other services, many of which can be accessed just by phone. A google search is typically all it takes to find out what social services or charity services are available in a given city.
There may be a wait lists and it’s not an end-all be-all solution, but it’s worth knowing and they can start looking into it if they are concerned about an elderly relatives access to food (or their own access). Or, they may not have ever used Grub Hub or other food delivery service (if available in your area). If you have, share with them how easy it was. It can be expensive to eat that way all the time, but having occasional take-out at home can at least break up some monotony (assuming restaurants are open, and in some areas they are for take-out only).
So if you’ve already stocked up on toilet paper, it’s time to clean your closet. . . or build that blanket fort!
Stay safe, and for now, suspend the kink, unless it is with someone you are isolating with. (Hum…worldwide baby boom in December?)