Tag Archives: submissive pose

170. Modifying our Maintenance Sessions

170.

A rare second post on the same day!  Life is good!

More in my series of posts regarding our ongoing Contract renegotiation.  This covers the review Mike and I had of our Maintenance Sessions.

I want to revisit why these sessions are important to me before I get into sharing the changes Mike wants.  I cover it way back on Post 10, but simply put, they are an important part of “maintaining” my submissive mindset and serve to “calibrate” Mike’s dominance with my submissiveness.   

I think that second point is a bit unique in this dynamic as it provides me an opportunity to get clarification from Mike or respectfully share changes I want.  Note that any critique I give of Mike is never framed about “I wish you would have…” or “I wish you would not have…”   It is always framed as, “Next time I would like…”   Open, honest feedback, free from coming across as disrespectful makes sure that Mike and I remain calibrated regarding our needs, desires, and various aspects of our dynamic.   Knowing I still have a strong voice helps me accept a situation I may not particularly like as I know I will have an opportunity to discuss it with Mike at our next session.

FREQUENCY
We have Maintenance Sessions on Sunday evenings.  Mike added a mini-session on Thursday (Post 137) that was originally planned as temporary or as-needed.  Mike now wants them to be permanent.      

THURSDAY MAINTENANCE
These were added about six months ago as shared in Post 137, and revised a bit as shared in Post 148.  They were intended as temporary measures but Mike wants them to be permanent.   They came about to provide me “added focus and additional release” and Mike said the recent “tea incident” solidified his belief these should be permanent.

These are brief sessions where I share any non-submissive thoughts I had (which I write in my journal).  Even if not necessarily a violation of a rule, it gives me an opportunity to share with him the time and event surrounding these thoughts.   This can help him further help me in ways to maintain a submissive mindset.   These sessions start and end with a 5 hard with a cane and 5 hard with the prison strap.  While only 5 strikes each, they are whoppers!   I then get 30 minutes in the corner for reflection and he comes in, we embrace, and the session ends.  

SUNDAY MAINTENANCE
The Sunday sessions won’t change much.  We mostly have these in the evenings but will try to sneak them in earlier when possible.  Depends on football and what J is doing – if he is spending the afternoon at a cousins then we of course try and do it then.

Mike increased the number of maintenance spankings, which are done by hand, from 15 to 30, and changed the “ceremony” a little bit  Basically it goes like this:

I get ready first and am naked in a submissive pose as he enters the bedroom.  He will remain silent and sit down in a chair.  Once seated, without any direction from him I rise, walk over, and lay over him so he can spank me.  He gives me 30 by hand. 

We both then get up and typically he takes me over to the edge of the bed where we sit, holding hands and facing each other.  We have our dialogue where I share any concerns I have or desires for the coming week.  Mike also discusses whatever is on his mind or specific requests for the coming week. 

I present my journal for his review.   He may take a lot of time reading it or give it a casual perusal.  I have a section where I self-report any transgressions I had during the week that he may be unaware of.  We decided it is best to handle self reporting this way instead of requiring me to always immediately self-report.  There are times I still do immediately tell him, but it is not expected.   The reason for this is he doesn’t want me to feel compelled to greet him with one or more things I did wrong.  He feels that is a buzz kill of a greeting and would rather I just journal it and save it for Maintenance. 

He then will spank me for any self reported transgressions or for any shortcomings of my journal (stuff like missing a day, messy writing, incomplete entries).  Amount and intensity of spankings will vary depending on what he feels is warranted.

I then get “Reflection time.   I must masturbate to climax and he may or may not stay and watch – up to him.  If he stays, he leaves once I have had an orgasm.  After orgasm I am to stay on the bed and relax in thought.  I may even doze off.  He returns in about 30 minutes.

I kneel in front of him and we exchange some contemporaneous words of commitment (akin to a mantra but what we say is whatever words come to mind).  He then sits, and without instruction I again lay across him without saying a word and get the final 30 by hand.  We then embrace until Mike calls the session over.   

I believe on my next post I can wrap up recapping the remaining changes we are making, which include Hard Limits, condensing the prescribed disciplining measures, and some other various miscellaneous changes.   We should have a new agreement ready to go by the 17th!

NEXT: 171.  Submissive to Mike or Mike’s Submissive?

155. Kayla Update: Acts of Service, Rituals, and more.

155

I added a post script to Post 153. Kayla the Master, that you may have missed.  I realized that Kayla was going through a Sub-frenzy.  Even before this frenzy, she was already more submissive to Mike than I am.  From the beginning she was into having more rituals and performing more acts of service compared to me.  The Immersion unleashed this frenzy that has taken those things to a greater extreme.  I’ll get back to that in a moment. 

She starts grad school August 22.  It will be an adjustment for all of us as we are all so accustomed to her being around the house almost all the time.  It will also be a big adjustment for her to be away so much during the day.  She is a bit worried that she can stay focused on school and on her submission.  She is an excellent student and has our complete support.  To help her with that balance, Mike has made it clear she would be punished if she was not focusing on school.  Not that she needs that motivation as she will likely get all A’s anyway, but, she liked the idea of making doing well in school yet another act of submission.

KAYLA NEEDING MORE
In response to Kayla’s desire for more structure, more discipline, and more submission, she needed and wanted to be subject to many more rituals and acts of service.  The three of us talked about this and did some web browsing to get ideas, many of which were implemented.     

Before I share with you the many rituals and acts of service that Kayla has to follow, it is important to share what these things mean to us and especially to Kayla.  Kayla was clear that these activities are about being Mike’s subject, not his object.  It’s easy to get those confused, but to us, a subject is the doer – the initiator, the giver.  An object is a thing being observed or used without regard.

ACTS OF SERVICE
For Kayla, these acts are important ways for her to go out of her way to show her love for Mike and that she is thinking of him.  There are subtle acts, such as physical touching whenever speaking to him, as well as a litany of overt services.  I probably am missing some, but this should give you a good idea:

  • Maintaining his car.  She cleans it every day, makes sure the gas is above half a tank, she takes care of oil changes, inspection/registration etc.  
  • She cleans his office every day
  • She is always prepared when we go out.  She has all sorts of “just in case he needs them” things in her purse.  Hand lotion, glasses cleaner, moist towelettes, shoelaces, toothpicks, band aides, etc.  
  • She runs errands such as getting gifts on his behalf for upcoming family birthdays such as siblings, nieces, nephews. 
  • Offers back rubs, neck/shoulder massage
  • Warms a towel in the dryer whenever he gets into the shower and has it ready for him when he gets out.  She also drys him.
  • Meticulously folds his clothes and irons everything, lays out clothes for him to wear.
  • Gives him a manicure and/or pedicure
  • There’s a variety of sexual and kink related acts of service as well.  

I am subject to all of these, although we have developed a few different sex/kink related acts that are unique to me or unique to Kayla.   But Kayla is the Energizer Bunny when it comes to the acts and thus more often than not she performs most of them.  That’s fine by me!  Of course, I step in if there are things going on where Kayla is not available to do those things.  With school starting, I suspect I will be responsible for completing more acts of service.    

RITUALS
This is where Kayla and I differ greatly.  I don’t do much of this.  It just isn’t where I get fulfillment and more importantly, Mike hasn’t asked these things of me.  By the way, I would certainly do them if he required me to. 

Ritual wise, she does a nightly weigh-in and inspection with Mike.  During this she recites what she did for him that day and she always provides him words of affirmation regarding how she believes in him and loves him.  They have this whole mantra or dialogue they do.  Kayla wrote it out as a script and memorized it.

I won’t share the details but basically it is a series of questions that Mike asks her and she gives the scripted answer, verbatim, else she is spanked.  It starts with Mike asking, “Who loves you?” and Kayla responding, “You do, sir.”  It goes on with Mike asking why, how is that love shown, etc.   Kayla responds to each question, some of them quite lengthy scripted responses she must correctly recite.  It also includes her saying a lot of self affirmations as well.   It’s cute and touching, and I enjoy listening to it each night as it always puts a smile on my face.

Oh, I want to mention that the weigh-in thing is Kayla’s idea.  Mike does not get on her about her weight.  That is 100% Kayla self imposing this ritual.  There is no “fat shaming” that goes on.  For one, she isn’t fat, in fact, she is in great shape and even more amazing shape since coming to live with us.  Kayla chooses to be accountable to Mike regarding her figure.  Mike is always very complimentary of her and there is no punishments if the scale ticks up.  

CUES
Mike and Kayla have developed many gestures or cues, to communicate with each other.  For instance, if he snaps his fingers she is to immediately drop to her knees and take a submissive pose.  If he winks at her, she is to flirt with whomever is with us.  A short wave of his finger means she is to go to her room and await a spanking.  There are many other gestures as well.  I can’t keep up.   Kayla wrote them all down and even Mike forgets them sometimes.  

For Kayla, these things give her a heighten focus and attention, at least until they become second nature to her.   She then adds a few more, repeats the heighten focus and attention, and again, those too eventually become second nature.  Repeat.

It’s a very eloquent thing to watch.  The simple interaction, that pinpoint gesture where her servitude is displayed in an instant.  It fulfills her to learn these things and to adhere to these things.  I get a sense of submissive fulfillment just watching her.

POSES
There are a variety of submissive poses.  Just Google it and you’ll see many types of poses for submissives and slaves.   Mike and Kayla have combined the cues with various poses such that a “double snap” means a specific pose, different than the single snap of the fingers.  Or if he holds up his hand as if to motion “Halt,” then it is yet a different pose.  
There’s a couple of kneeling poses, an attention pose, an inspection pose, a presentation pose, a sex doll pose, and others.  I can’t keep up.  That’s Mike and Kayla’s thing.  But again, I enjoy watching her react when he gestures her to take a pose. 

So, that’s an update on Kayla’s submission.  As I stated in my last post, my submission is on a pretty even keel.  Nothing has really changed, except my contentment.  Things are in a great rhythm and I am enjoying serving Mike, enjoying Kayla being part of our “love circle,” and just overall enjoying life!  

NEXT:  156. A QUIET MIND