Tag Archives: spanked wife

309. Spanked Wife, Happy Life – Chelsea Part II

309

Continued from the prior post.

To help you with a mental picture of Chelsea, although she is 23, she can easily pass for 18 and with just a little effort, maybe even 16.   Her height is about all that helps her appear a bit older as she is about 5′ 9″ and while I didn’t ask, I would guess maybe 115 – a very small frame.  And the ringer for a more youthful look is her light freckles on her nose and high cheekbones that accentuate her already looking baby-face.  

Her husband is on the burly side, maybe 220 on about a six-foot frame but not all fat.  He’s muscular in a toned way, not super-buff.  Stout!  That’s it.  He’s very stout.  He looks even bigger when next to Chelsea.  We’ve met him on several occasions as well.   He’s more reserved and timid, whereas Chelsea is unfiltered and unedited.  

Chelsea said after about two years of marriage she began having desires to be disciplined by Jaime.  She started to miss the accountability and the motivation that the disciplining instilled in her, and yes, even a closeness she felt it could bring to her and Jaime.   

While generally not someone to keep anything in, it took her a long time to say anything because she felt that she was betraying herself in a way.  How could she want that?   She didn’t want to be like her mom.  How could she submit to be under the authority of her husband?   That just isn’t right.

It nagged at her even to the point she acted out in negative ways.  Passive-aggressiveness is one way we attempt to cope with unresolved emotions, and she became full-on passive-aggressive.  After many arguments about stupid things that she often started, she knew she had to come clean and confess her “ugly desire” to her husband. 

When she did, he 100% rejected the notion.  And not just the idea of it, but the idea that she would even consider it.  It made her feel terrible as in her mind it confirmed her fears that something must be wrong with her.   But his rejection didn’t make those feelings go away. 

So she pressed him from time to time, slowly increasing the frequency of broaching the topic.  Finally, one day she really pushed his buttons and he spanked her.  He was apologetic afterward and swore to never do it again, much to her chagrin.   More time went on, another year and her passive-aggressiveness deepened.  And then, Chelsea met Kayla.  Then Chelsea met me and Mike. 

Chelsea was like a sponge, wanting to learn everything about our journey into D/s.  She said it opened her up to a greater understanding of what it could mean to be submissive.  Until she met us, she just thought if she were to accept discipline from Jaime, it had to be just like her parents.  In her mind, her mom was weak, cornered, and incapable of understanding this just wasn’t normal.   Now, Chelsea knew DD  could be anything they agreed it could be.  Like me, she could have DD, Chelsea-style.   If Jaime would agree. 

Armed with a better understanding of her own emotions and how to better articulate them, she once again brought up the topic with Jaime.   This time he didn’t reject her outright and at least said he was open to understanding it better, which led to our meeting Jaime. 

It also led Chelsea to talk to her mom about DD, something she had never done in a true, open dialogue.  Chelsea had brought it up before, but always in a judgemental way.  Now, their conversations were more inquisitive and less inquisition.  In turn, Chelsea learned a lot about her mom and her dad.  While she still didn’t agree with everything they did and do, she had a greater appreciation for it.  

Armed with new confidence and a more open-minded husband, they made an attempt at instituting some DD into their marriage.  While Jaime was open-minded, he was still very reluctant, to the point that he asked Mike to help.  This led to Mike actually spanking Chelsea in front of Jaime to give him a more step-by-step break down of things he should consider in a spanking, including the after-care.   It got to the point that Jaime even called Mike to come over to administer several spankings as Jaime felt he just wasn’t doing it right.   

Jaime was very concerned with hurting her, both emotionally and physically.  It took some time for Jaime to feel confident that the “right” way was whatever way he felt comfortable with and that Chelsea accepted.  I didn’t keep count, but I think Mike probably spanked her on seven or eight occasions. 

Jaime still calls or texts occasionally to get advice on discipline.  I have to admit I am a bit jealous as I like to be the advice-giver, but in this case, Mike is their de-facto “mentor.”   They have even asked him over just to talk DD (and they have been over to our house as well).   

Jaime feels like he has a new wife, the wife he first fell in love with.  Her passive-aggressive behaviors are gone, and they are closer than ever before.   As they say, Spanked Wife, Happy Life.   Um, er, okay, that’s not how it goes, but it sure does for some people!

ISLAND OF MISFIT KINKSTERS
I feel a bit like our household is becoming the
Island of Misfit Toys, except it is the Island of Misfit Kinksters.   Those people who feel they are doing it all wrong, or are having trouble reconciling their desires with societal expectations or simply looking for ways to express those desires in a safe and nurturing environment.   There is my friend Valerie, and some of my other “lunch bunch” friends who have opened up a bit and shared some of the kinks they are into.  This also applies to Matt.  Oh, and John and Donna too.  And yes, of course, Kayla.

It’s like I wrote in 239. As you sow, so shall you reap, it’s karma. 

And then, we met TJ and Kim. 

Next: 310. TJ and Kim

 

 

137. Spanked over a new Maintenance Spanking

137

Over the last few months I have had few, but harsher, punishments, as I have done an excellent job of adhering to my Duties and Obligations with a few big exceptions which I’ve posted about. Mike decided it would be helpful if we instituted an extra Maintenance Session that he will call for at his discretion.  If he feels they are needed they will be on Thursday evenings.  

It will be an abbreviated version of our Sunday Maintenance.  I don’t present my journal or masturbate, and it is not as reflective as the Sunday routine.  One other difference is that Mike said I will be caned versus the hand spankings that are part of the Sunday routine.   It starts with a caning, there is brief dialogue where he may ask me some questions and/or lecture, then a final caning.  He said it would be as many and with whatever intensity he thinks I need.   He said he would let me know each Thursday around dinner time as to whether we will have a session that evening.

Mike said he hoped this extra session would provide me added focus and also serve as an additional release.  Perhaps it will avoid the need for me to ask for a spanking which I’ve done a few times when I’ve gone a lengthy period of time without a punishment.    

Bratting or Distraction?
The wondering and anticipation during the day on Thursday is a punishment by itself.   First off, the cane is my least favorite spanking implement, and Mike knows it.   This has a potential for putting me in a conundrum.  Will this motivate me to “brat” or have some minor infraction so that I am spanked Monday through Wednesday such that Mike feels the Thursday session isn’t necessary?   Of course, there is always the risk I still get the Thursday maintenance regardless of my behavior for the week.   I don’t believe I would intentionally “brat.”  I’ve never done it before.  I think getting a spanking under false pretenses would be unfulfilling.  

I also wonder if the anticipation could be a mental distraction such that I don’t correctly execute my Duties and Obligations.   Ug!   I would much rather just make it an automatic Thursday session versus it being at Mike’s discretion.

I got spanked!
Normally when Mike makes a “proclamation” he does not solicit questions from me.  He simply asks if I understood what he stated.  This time, after he announced his decision to hold these sessions, he specifically said, “Do you have any questions?”  I didn’t hesitate and I asked him if he could just make these automatic.   

He then told me to bend over and he administered an Immediate Spanking.  After the first round of spankings he asked me why I earned this.  I figured it was because I questioned him, but I didn’t understand why I was spanked because, after all, he asked me if I had questions.  Because I didn’t correctly state why I was spanked, I received the customary second round of spankings and then he explained.  Yes, he asked me if I had questions, but my response to him wasn’t a question.  It was a request.  We have an agreement that when I ask questions they are only for clarity as to what is being requested of me.  If I want to question why or suggest an alternative, I am to do that only at a Maintenance Session.  In my haste, I questioned him in an unacceptable manner.

This event to me is further evidence of Mike’s evolution as a Dom.  Not too long ago I think he would have missed the nuance of a question that is a point of clarify versus one that is a request.  Or, if he did catch it, in the past he might have overlooked it — Not any more!  He’s the Dom and expects certain behaviors of me.   This is another example of the clear evolution of my DD.  He isn’t just enforcing my explicit expectations of myself regarding specific behaviors that I prescribed.  Instead,  he is enforcing both of our expectations that I be submissive to him.    

It may be surprising but this excites me!  Okay, not right at first, but it didn’t take long to excite me.   I admit, in the moment my first thought was “Really, you’re spanking me for that?”  To my credit, even though I thought that, I still didn’t hesitate to accept the spanking.  And, it didn’t take long into the spanking for my thoughts in my mind to change from “Really?” to “Thank you!”   And my next thought was, “Does this mean I don’t get a Maintenance caning this Thursday?”   

I thought that, but I knew better than to verbalize it!   We shall see this Thursday!

NEXT:  138. Party Time. The Naked Bench.

 

 

 

47. Birth of a Dom

As with many posts, to fully understand some of my references you may want to refresh yourself with my Contract, especially regarding Immediate Rewards and our Rewards Ceremony, and be aware of our temporary Attitude Adjustment reminders.

This is a long post, which I really try to avoid, but I think it has something for those that like the added insights, context, and emotions, and for those that like the saucy spanking stories.

I’ve created a Dominant!  As my Domestic Discipline has become more focused on Service and Submission and as I become more submissive, it stands to reason my husband therefore has become more Dominant.   Recent events made the transition official.

Let me preface this by saying that there are likely some of you in a D/s relationship who wouldn’t identify what we are doing as D/s.  I get it.  Labels can be difficult to affix to any relationship, as there are likely many inconsistencies you can find with any label you use for your relationship, but ultimately you settle on the one that seems to be the most consistent, but not exact.   I still think of TTWD as DD, and probably will for some time, but clearly, there is a march towards a more D/s relationship as evidenced by what I am sharing today.

Our recent Argument marked a transition from Mike taking his lead from me, where he responds to my duties and obligations, to one where he simply takes the lead, and creates my duties and obligations. The bit of irony in this is that a lot of the behaviors Mike exhibits are the same ones I used to call our neighbor a jerk for doing to his wife.  Of course, that was before I knew they had their own version of DD, D/s, M/s going on.  It may sound like I don’t like this transition in Mike, but far from it.  I am just pointing out that bit of irony.  Something I once saw in someone as “jerkiness,” I now see in my husband as loving – and in fact, I want it and crave it from him.

Here’s what happened:

If you’ve read most of journey you know I often refer to this as “My version of DD” and that “my DD” is all about me.  That’s been very true.  Mike has followed my lead when it comes to setting rules and punishments.  It wasn’t lost on me that when I asked him to come up with ideas for the “Attitude Adjustments” that he came up with all of them without my input.  And he didn’t present them as options or in a way that conveyed they were up for discussion.  He just said what they were going to be and that was that.  I really liked that!

What I didn’t like was that he has been very strict with me since implementing those “adjustments.” I’ve received countless more punishments over the last few days and at first began to feel there was an overtone of anger or resentment coming from Mike.    I’ve learned to dismiss those feelings in the past as his intentions have always been nothing more than loving when it comes to our DD.  If you read other stories, hopefully you see just how true that is.  However, it got to the point that it was getting hard for me to dismiss those feelings.

To keep this post short, I created a separate post that gives you an example of the events of the last few days.    Click here to read about those last few days.  
If you want to skip the details (those that like punishment stories should not skip), read on now. If you are returning from reading the details, welcome back!
. . . . .
. . . . .
Mike:  “I was going to wait until your Maintenance Session to explain, but I just couldn’t let you go on feeling what I can see in your eyes that you are feeling.  So, I decided we will have that talk now.”

He said he feels he has “consistently been inconsistent” since we started DD, and part of that is because he was always trying to follow what I explicitly wanted.  Even though the contract gave him a lot of latitude, if there was some behavior that wasn’t explicitly in the contract, he would either let it go, or get clarification from me first.  He said the reason he knew the contract so well was because he read it a thousand times.  He always wanted to make sure he was only doing what I wanted.  He told me that he has come to believe that what I now truly wanted was not for him to just follow my lead, but to actually just lead.  That meant he needed to go beyond just seeing if I failed to meet my own expectations, and then tying MY intended consequence to that transgression.  He had to actually set his own expectations of me and set my consequences.

He explained it best something like this,

“Think of it this way, Jen.   You expect ‘x’ of yourself and if you don’t do ‘x’ you have asked me to deliver the “y” as a consequence.   What did I bring to that event?  Just my body to give a punishment.  Not my mind, not my feelings, not my expectations.  That has worked up until recently, especially because I had no idea what I was doing at first or what it was you really wanted.  But we have both grown to a new level of understanding about what our DD means to us and how to use it, and you have grown to want more service and submission.  I believe in order to truly serve and submit the way you now want and need it, we need to change the equation.  The equation should be, I expect ‘x’ of you and if you don’t do ‘x’ then I deliver whatever “y” consequence I deem appropriate.”

Wow.  Yes, he was asking to lead.  He was asking to be Dominant.

He asked, “So, is that what you want from me?”

“Yes, Sir, absolutely,” I answered enthusiastically.

“So how am I doing,” he asked?

“Wonderfully.” And with a slight pause I added with the tone of a verbal approving wink, “Sir.”

We talked some more and at least for now, no dramatic changes in my rules, just a strict enforcement.  With that he said my “Adjustment” period was over and he said, “That doesn’t mean we get rid of the tack bra.  In fact, I want you to use your sewing and craft skills to make a better one.  That’s your first new order.”

“Yes, Sir!”

Next:  48. Birth of Dom. Back story.  If you didn’t read it, you can read it now!