184. This, That, and Sex, Sex, and more Sex

Several different topics I thought I’d update you on.

DISCIPLINE – JEN
I’ve been disciplined a few times recently (other than what I shared), but not worth writing about in detail.  Sorry.  I don’t intend to share every disciplinary action.   But I did want to share a few things in general that I felt were noteworthy.

Mike said he was going to pick up the intensity and he has delivered.  Ouch!   In hindsight I think he was right in that the level of discomfort I was getting might have been insufficient for them to serve as a consistent deterrent (as perhaps evidenced be the tea incident).  At the time I didn’t think they were insufficient, but given the intensity of what I received lately, I definitely feel extremely deterred to disobey.   My butt and breasts have been very red and even bruised from the couple of recent disciplining I received. 

SUBMISSIVE MINDSET
Other than a few mishaps, I am doing extremely well with my added duties and obligations.  I feel I have achieved the submissive mindset I was searching for.  Not that it is a final destination – I know I must work to maintain it and events in life can still threatened that mindset.  But, I really believe I consistently feel submissive and not just act submissive.  My thoughts are constantly on how I can better serve Mike and be a better wife, lover, and mother.  This “submissive mindset” is something I wrote about yearning for in Post 148. Dom/Sub Therapy Session.   

In my first two Thursday Maintenance Sessions I honestly had no “unsubmissive” thoughts to report.  My mind has been highly focused on Mike – his needs, his desires.  And while my attention has to be on other things at times, namely our son, my duties and obligations are always top of mind.  And it has been effortless.  Sort of a switch just went off and there it was, the focus I was looking for.   “Focus” is actually not a good word, because I don’t work at it. . . I don’t “focus” on it.  It just is.  It is just my mindset.

Even though I had nothing “unsubmissive” to report, I still receive the maintenance spankings and they have been whoppers.  Last Thursday I was a bit in knots in anticipation prior to the session as I knew what I was in for spanking-wise.  It is another one of those things that is hard to describe – the anxiety over what is to come becomes part of the pleasure once it does come.  Can’t explain it.  Must be a sub thing.  

DISCIPLINE – KAYLA
Things are all good between us.  The sex is frequent and fun, Mike’s D/s relationship with Kayla is going well.  Kayla feels very good about what she is getting from Mike.  I mentioned before their dynamic is a little different from Mike and I.  Even with the changes from our current Contract, Mike is much more strict and stern with her than he is with me.

It is uncommon, but not unheard of, for me to spank Kayla.  Typically I text Mike if she does something disobedient and await his instructions.  He might instruct me to discipline her on his behalf or he may indicate he will address it when he gets home.  When instructed to spank her, I also have to send him pictures of her butt to show him the results.  He may tell me to spank her more if what he sees is not to his liking. 

I don’t have a problem spanking her.  There was a time I found it interefered with my submissive mindset, but I’ve got past that.  I think I mentioned before that when I spank her, I really identify with and focus on her.  Her vulnerability, her submission, her shame.   To the extent I think about what I am doing, I think of it in the context of doing it for Mike because it is what he commanded.  All of this results in me being fine with spanking her and I can still maintain a submissive mindset. 

SEX – MIKE, JEN & KAYLA
Sex-wise, while Mike and I have plenty of sex, so do Kayla and Mike, especially oral.  Mike loves it, of course, but as I mentioned before, so does Kayla.  I’ve never known a woman who loves to suck cock as much as her.  I’ve also shared before that Kayla occasionally has an orgasm just over sucking Mike.  If J isn’t home, it is pretty typical for me to walk in with Kayla on her knees going at Mike, whether it be in the kitchen, while he sits and watches television, or is in his office working.

Most nights the three of us sleep together, but we still have designated “alone time” with Mike.  Kayla sleeps in her room and I get Mike alone, or I sleep in Kayla’s room and she gets Mike alone.  We don’t have set days for this anymore (Post 107).  It is just up to Mike to tell us what (or more accurately, “who”) he wants.

Mike choosing is a very casual thing.  He will simply tell me, “Jen, I want to sleep alone with Kayla tonight so you’ll sleep in her room tonight.”  And that is that.  I simply say “Yes, Sir.”  He does the same in telling Kayla when he wants to just sleep with me.  I am perfectly fine with this as I want him to have whomever he wants sexually.

There are times when we all sleep together where Mike will tell one of us to just masturbate and watch.  Other times he will tell us what he wants us all to be doing to each other.  And there are times he just let’s whatever happen, happen, no instructions.  Lastly, sometimes he will ask me or Kayla what we want.  

I am free to discuss any concerns I have about sex or anything else.  Such discussions are part of the purpose of our Sunday Maintenance Sessions.   It has been a long time since I shared concerns, questions, or asked Mike to clarify anything regarding sex.  Mike and I are fully “calibrated” on this topic – at least for now.   

SEX – JEN AND KAYLA
We probably have one-on-one sex with just the two of us about once a week.  Some weeks maybe a couple of times, or perhaps a full week without any times.  Just depends on schedules, what needs to be done around the house or with other errands, studying she needs to do, and of course, the all important mood.   Sometimes you just aren’t feeling it.

The most common situation for us to have sex lately is in the living room.  Chores all done, nothing to do but relax.  We are typically naked as is our house rule when J is at school.  She will cuddle up in my arms and we will watch something on t.v.   This may lead to some kissing, caressing, and before you know it — well, fingers and/or tongues are going in places.

SEX – JOHN AND DONNA
I haven’t written about them in a long time.  We still see them frequently, but perhaps a little less so.  Just busy schedules and other things always seem to be coming up.  Mike typically goes over to watch football on Sundays ((Post 69. Hot Dog…).  A few times I’ve gone with him, sometimes Kayla and not me, and sometimes neither of us.

There is still a “house” rule at John and Donna’s that Kayla and I must be topless once we enter (assuming no other guests are present).  And Donna is also topless.  There is usually some amount of “play” that goes on.  Oral sex or just plain old sex, in any combination of m/f, f/f, m/f/f, you can think of.  You just never know but it is always fun.  We haven’t had an evening out with them in many months, perhaps soon?  Neither Mike or John have had a business trip in a while and there’s been no sleep overs in awhile.    

A lot of this is due to there not being a lot of overt opportunities to get together.  I am sure the opportunities are there if we made an effort to make it happen.  But it is nice to be in this “effortless” space with them where, if it happens, it happens.  No expectations, no commitments.  Just great friends with whom we have some sexual fun with whenever the moment is ripe.  It also fits in with Mike’s demands that we slow down ((Post 146. Slow Down!).  While not intended to be aimed at John and Donna, Mike ordered that we don’t aggressively pursue more “relationships” such as via FetLife.  Our cups are full!  No need to over fill them.

Which is a great segue into my next post, because there is a new wrinkle in the “relationship” front.  While not totally unexpected, it poses some new concerns that we have to address.

NEXT: 185. Kayla’s Plus One

179. Kayla’s Social Life

I haven’t written much lately about Kayla.   With her permission, I thought I’d talk about an issue we had to address — Kayla’s social life.

Kayla has some new friends she met on campus.  Some are just casual friendships, but two in particular are evolving to more than that.   Nothing sexual, just her spending more time socializing with them.  It raises some new questions for us and I asked Kayla to talk to Mike about it.  I told Kayla I defer to Mike on any advice and guidance and I would support whatever Mike has to say about it. 

CHOOSING HER FRIENDS
Kayla and Mike talked.  Mike was supportive of her socializing with whomever she wanted.  His only condition was similar to a condition we have in our Contract.  If he feels the relationship isn’t healthy, he will talk with her about either modifying the relationship or ending it.

SHARING INFO ON HER DYNAMIC
They also discussed the amount of detail she should share with friends about our relationship with her.  This was more of a reminder.  Kayla is free to share with others that she is in a polyamorous relationship with a married couple.  She can share she is submissive if she chooses.  She can share that this means she follows various “house rules” and can be disciplined, including being spanked, if she does not.

The general rule of thumb is to provide as little information as necessary to satisfy questions and stop at providing details as to specific rules, punishments, and sex.  Yes/No responses are better than elaborating with details.  Mike and Kayla even role played some dialogue to ensure Kayla was on the same page as Mike.

SEX
Mike and Kayla also talked about Kayla having sex outside of our relationship.  This has been talked about before but with the casualness that comes with discussing the theoretical.  Not that she is having sex with others right now, but, she can see the potential for it and thus the need to revisit this with more seriousness.

Mike told Kayla she is free to pursue sexual relationships with anyone, just so long as she informs him of who these people are and of course, practices safe sex.  Kayla is also going back on the pill.   She had been off it – Mike and John both have had a vasectomy.

Mike made it a point to share with her that our relationship with her should never get in the way of things she wants to experience.  If she wants to travel, attend social events, go out with friends, or even have sex with whomever, he (as do I) will support her decisions.  The only caveat being that Mike must not see any of it as unhealthy for her.  Mike made it clear she will have to move out if she pursues a relationship he feels is toxic.  Kayla was more than fine with this and said it actually made her feel good to hear him say that. 

SUBMISSION
Kayla brought this up.  She made it clear she was not interested in having a D/s relationship with anyone else.  She can’t imagine being beholden to more than one Dom, and more importantly, she said that type of relationship is extra special to her and Mike is her Dom and “that is that.”  However, it did cause Mike to want to at least have a brief discussion on future possibilities.

Mike said that if she found a relationship where she wanted to be submissive to someone else, she needs to share those desires with him as soon as she is feeling them.  This way they can talk about them so that she does not feel more conflicted than she is likely going to feel.  Mike said he would have as hard a time “giving her up” as she would have with “giving him up,” but the worst thing to do would be to suppress such desires, if she were to feel them.  They would most certainly fester and manifest themselves in unhealthy ways.

Kayla was adamant she would never feel that way towards anyone else.  Mike and I know that, despite her current intentions, life happens and things change.  However, there was no need to discuss this further at this point as it was actually upsetting to Kayla.  

FORCED TO CHOOSE
They also talked about what would happen if the other person was not okay with her continuing our dynamic.  What then?  Kayla’s first response was simply, “I’d end it with that person.”  But, she also realized that love can be a powerful thing.  She then backtracked a bit and said, “I guess I would have to deal with it at that time and reconcile my love for you two with my love for that person.  I can’t fathom it right now.”

ALEXIS
Alexis is only 18, a freshman at the university.   They met in the library.  Alexis got married a month after graduating high school to a 24-year-old male.  This friendship is very different for Kayla as she has always had friends that were older than her, typically by four or more years.

They have met up several times, gone out to lunch, met up on campus, text back and forth, stuff like that.  Kayla said it feels more like a little sister/big sister type thing going on.  Nothing sexual, and she has never met the husband.   Kayla says she enjoys giving her advice and hearing about her past and her current situation.   

Kayla has shared with Alexis the basics of our relationship. and Alexis is “very” intrigued.  Alexis shared that spankings were part of her childhood up until she turned 16.  She never saw her dad spank her mom though and is unsure if that ever went on.  Alexis seems interested in incorporating some DD in her marriage and thus asked Kayla lots of questions about both Kayla’s D/s and about me and Mike.     

MICHAUD
Michaud is male, 25, single.  Michaud is actually his last name but everyone calls him by this.  I won’t share his first name, but it is a  pretty typical name.  Michaud does sound more mysterious!  And ooo-laa-laa, it is French!  He was actually born in France but has lived in the U.S. since he was about six or seven.

He is in one of her classes.  They have studied together, shared class notes, stuff like that.  They have also met for lunch and dinner, always preceding or following class or studying.  Nothing she would call an official “date.”  However, Kayla says she can see this relationship going further.

She shared her living arrangement with him, but he didn’t question it and thus she didn’t go further.  All he knows is she lives with an older couple.  She described it as, “I had to get out of the house and I moved in with an older couple I’ve known for a long time.”  That’s it.  He did ask her some questions about her relationship with her parents, but he didn’t ask more questions about who we were or why she lives with us or anything else.  Maybe it is a French thing?

Mike stopped short of telling Kayla that he must meet Michaud.  He did tell her that she needs to keep both he and I informed of their interactions.   Mike felt he wanted my perspective on Michaud with the hopes that between the two of us we could spot any red flags.  At this point, he seems normal and sincere.  Whatever “normal” is.

EXISTING FRIENDS
I’ve shared before that Kayla’s circle of friends before she moved in with us consisted primarily of people in their late 20’s.  This reflects Kayla’s penchant for having friends older than she is.  Kayla does go out on occasion, although it has been less and less frequent.   Part of that is due to Kayla being back in school, and part of it due to the schedules of those friends.

Kayla has told three of those friends about us, in great detail.  This includes her friend Daniel, who is gay, and includes her best friend, a female, who Kayla asked me to have rename nameless.  This is the friend that Kayla has had sex with and eventually was a third in her friend’s relationship with a man.  Kayla refers to that as a “poly-type” thing but it was more just threesomes than it was an actual relationship.   Anyway, that couple knows all about Kayla’s relationship with us.  Kayla still sees them occasionally, but stopped having sex with them shortly before she moved in with us.

ALL GOOD
Anyway, we are happy to see Kayla interact socially, both with her existing friends and with new ones.  We all recognize that relationships can get complicated, which is why open communication is so important.  All is well, whether it be with Kayla and her friends, Mike and Kayla, Mike and me, me and Kayla, or Mike, me, and Kayla. 

NEXT:  180.  Time for Discipline

 

95. Much ado about…spanking!

You’ll understand the image I chose when you read the post.  It seemed to fit, except for one part of the quote.  If there are any theorists of written discourse among you, perhaps you could enlighten me as to what Blair meant by “masculine.”  I digress.

Hankerin’ for a Spankin’
With a lot of our attention (and my posts) on Kayla lately, it dawned on me that I haven’t been spanked in a while.  I’d like to chalk it up to my impeccable ability to achieve all that I commit to.   I’d like to chalk it up to that, but I can’t.  Frankly, it’s been a combination of just being in a good groove and a bit of latitude by Mike.

Overall on a strictness scale I’d say Mike had been an 8-9 for some time now as I urged and encouraged him to be strict as I was seeking greater submission.  However recently I’d put his strictness at about a 6.  I am not stating this as a critique – it would be inappropriate for me to be scoring Sir on his choices of punishments.  I don’t make it a practice of keeping “score” as it is completely up to him.  I only share this as a way to convey to you, the reader, what I am feeling and experiencing regarding Sir’s strictness.  I felt it necessary to clarify that in light of what this post is going to address.

I really enjoy my submissiveness and have grown to find a lot of satisfaction in structure and expectations, including being highly accountable to that structure in the form of punishments.  I’ve evolved from just living a lifestyle of Domestic Discipline to living the lifestyle of a submissive.   I have even wondered if I should change the name of my blog to reflect more about my life as a submissive vs DD?    I digress again.

I spoke with Mike and he agreed he has been a bit lax and said he would remedy that.  The reason for this post is to share a recent event where Mike took my request for greater strictness and applied it in an unexpected way.  The result was a spanking and as part of the punishment he wanted me to post about it.  Thus, the reason for this post.

I’ve been untruthful in my posts!
I’ve been untruthful!?!   Okay, those are Mike’s words, at least how I heard them.  In my words I sometimes simply “reorganize the facts” so as to more effectively convey what happened.

Here’s what happened.
Mike doesn’t regularly read my blog but will sit down and catch up in one reading. He recently did this and he made an observation.

What I heard Mike say was, “You’ve been untruthful in your posts!”  This assertion really hurt me and my defenses immediately went on high alert.  Pre-DD such an accusation would have certainly caused a big argument.  While I didn’t yell or use profanity, I still lost it, at least on the scale that my DD rules would call “losing it.”  Part of my response was, in a not so nice tone, “You’re crazy and you are wrong.  I strive to be truthful at all times, including my blog.  Name one thing that was not factual?”

Mike responded, “Whoa, watch the anger and sass!”

“Well SIR, if you dare to question my honesty you are going to get some sass.  I am just defending what I believe to be true and am offended you think I’ve been untruthful.”

“Oh,” said Mike, “how dare I?  So, I can’t calmly question you without you being offended?  I didn’t question this in an accusatory way.  I simply said I found that some of your posts embellished or told the story in a way that was different from how it occurred.   We can have a calm discussion about it so I can better understand why, or you can argue.  You chose that latter.”

Yes, he didn’t actually use the words, “You’ve been untruthful in your posts.” However, that is how I interpreted his words and thus reacted defensively.   I apologized to him for overreacting  and again said that such an accusation is so abhorrent to me that I couldn’t control my reaction.   Mike said he would address this lack of control soon enough, but wanted to have a discussion about the blog first.

Mike went on to point out some various parts of different posts that were not “entirely accurate.”  The specifics examples he gave aren’t important, but, yes, he was correct. Some of the things I post are not entirely accurate.

What?  Untrue you say?
Yes, some events as I portrayed them were not precisely as they occurred – nor will they be in the future.  I write to portray what happened as succinctly as possible – and if you read my posts, I probably am not as succinct as I could be.  So here is my confession to you:

• Yes, I admit I don’t always recall the words verbatim.  I do recall the impact of what was said, so I may choose words to more succinctly and accurately describe that impact.
• Yes I choose to omit parts of the exchange that I feel are not relevant to the event, emotion, or revelation that I wanted to share.
• Yes, I sometimes even change the order of events because it makes it more coherent for you, the reader.
• Yes, sometimes I add some of the “unspoken” things that I know were intended, otherwise, what I write could be confusing. There are times something gets said that is in reference to an earlier exchange.  It is entirely unnecessary for me to share the entire earlier exchange just to give the reader the context for that reference.  Instead, I’ll find a way to give that context within the dialogue I choose to write.  It isn’t intended to mislead.  It more effectively communicates my experience and it is my experience that I am wanting to share.  Not a verbatim recitation of every second of a given experience.
• Yes, sometimes when I or someone speaks they may not articulate the full meaning in a given statement and I may rewrite that statement so that you can better understand the impact of what they said or did.

There is some artistic license that is necessary when sharing any story – and, this blog is about my perception of the world around me.  Our perceptions will naturally filter certain elements of “the truth.”  Two people can see, hear, or feel the same event differently.  That doesn’t make them untruthful when they recount the event.  Everything I state is truthful in that it reflects my reality.   I believe as long as I am accurately describing the intent, emotions, reactions, or impact of a situation, I am being authentic, if not truthful.   Come on, do I really remember every strike of the paddle, ever thrust of the penis?  No, but  I can convey those emotions in a way that allows you to better feel them as I did.

Much ado about nothing.
And what was Mike’s reaction after I was able to calmly explain myself in the manner I just explained it to you?

“Oh, okay.  That makes sense.”

Doh!   It was all much ado about nothing.  Unfortunately, because I couldn’t control my temper and reacted the way I did, I still got a spanking.  I accept that.  One of my mantras is to seek to understand before being understood.  If I would have simply taken the time to understand where Mike was coming from, I could have then given my explanation and this would have been an uneventful and soon forgotten conversation.  Instead, it resulted in too many to count with the hairbrush!   Ouchy!  But delightfully so.  It had been too long between spankings!

At least it gave me something to post about other than Kayla!  My plan was to share the events of her first spanking – it is quite a story that needs no embellishing!   Perhaps next time.

NEXT:  96.  Kayla’s first. . . 

63. Ice Ice Baby Redux – A solution!

Vanilla ice?  There’s nothing vanilla about this story as it ranks pretty high on the kink-ometer.  Yep, I continued to struggle with trying to break my ice chewing habit.  As Mike felt he could only spank me so much and so hard, he had a novel idea – and it worked, sort of.  Sometimes, all it takes is the right motivation to focus your mind so that a simple and obvious solution appears to you.

Here’s an interesting observation, at least to me – I found that I would only chew ice when I was drinking alone.  At the dinner table or around others, never a crunch, but sit down in front of the tv or computer and I’d chew away.   Not sure what that’s about, but I just wanted to throw that in there if anyone has any great psychoanalysis feedback.

Anyway, as promised, Mike escalated the punishments and this time proceeding to insert ice up my bum.  Four good sized pieces, and then had me hold it for one minute.  He then had me expel them, and then he repeated with five pieces.   Extremely uncomfortable, almost instant cramp feeling.  While there were still in, a paddling of 10 very hard ones and then held for 60 seconds, then expel.  That was it, but that was enough.

I knew I was destined to repeat my ice chewing and I didn’t want to think about where else the ice would go next.  I knew I couldn’t just rely on will power alone, or rely on this form of aversion therapy.

Suddenly, I had this simple solution hit me like, well, like a frozen jolt in the ass!  How could I have not thought of it sooner?   The simple solution is that I now do not drink from anything without a lid.   I am drinking from a straw or with a lid that has a small opening to drink from (no ice getting through).   Out of habit I find myself swigging the cup back as if to draw some ice into my mouth.  Bam!  The ice hits the inside of the lid and no ice for Jenny.  I’ve gone two days ice chewing free!

Okay, no more ice talk.  I promise a steamy story for my next post.  Perhaps another pre-DD story or give an update after another evening with John and Donna?

Next: 64. Strip Quarters

 

36. Vocabulary Lesson: Fetch the Rubber Paddle

It’s been hectic lately. With school out our youngest is home all day and our middle child is home for about two more weeks before he heads back for a summer session at college. We’ve had to modify our DD a bit. As I’ve said a few times before, TTWD can be inconvenient with kids around. Enough about that, let me get back to sharing our M/s immersion experiment.

In this post I will share my greatest challenge during the immersion. It isn’t what you would likely guess. It all had to do with vocabulary. Oh, by the way, I didn’t forget that I promised to share my most humbling and horrific experience from the immersion. I will share that on my next post. I need to build up the courage to share that, and think through how I can delicately address it.

So, the most challenging — Mike came up with some vocabulary rules for me. One of which is that I must acknowledge I heard whatever he last said. I do so by verbally answering, not just nodding my head.   My answer must refer to him as “Sir,” and I must rephrase or repeat what he said as a way of conveying I heard him completely. Only then could I add my response or answer to his question. I also had to speak clearly and confidently without hesitation.

It sounded something like this:

Mike: “Jen, I need a sandwich.”
Jen: “What kind would you like?”

Mike: “That’s one. Remember, how to properly phrase your responses to me.”
Jen: “Yes sir, you need a sandwich, what kind would you like?”

Mike: “That’s two. The last thing I stated was about how to properly phrase a response. It was not about my sandwich.”
Jen: “Yes, sir, I will remember how to properly phrase my responses to you.”

Mike: “Will you?  Well, that’s three because my last statement was not about telling you to remember anything, it was to point out that my prior statement was about how to properly phrase a response.”
Jen: “Yes sir, you were not telling me to remember anything, you were pointing out your statement about how to properly phrase a response.”

Mike: “Good girl, you got it right.”
Jen: Silence.

Mike: “That’s four. You failed to respond to what I said.
Jen (meekly): Yes sir.   That was four as I failed to respond. That you sir for acknowledging I got it right.

Mike: “Okay, but that’s five because you responded too softly. I must hear you clearly and hear conviction in what you say.”
Jen (boldly): “Yes sir, it is five. I must speak clearly.”

Mike: “About that sandwich”
Jen: “Yes sir, you would like a sandwich. What kind would you like me to make?”

Mike: “Ham and cheese with lettuce and tomatoes would be good.”
Jen: “Sir, shall I toast your bread?”

Mike: “That’s six.”
Jen: “Sorry Sir, yes, that’s six. Sir would like ham, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes. Would you like me to toast your bread, Sir?”

and so on!

There were many examples like this one, some went on a very long time where I would actually get up to “10” in one basic conversation.   I got better at it but it was not until about half way through the immersion that I actually got good at it.

Oh, and what did the “6” or “10” or whatever number refer to?  There were two punishments attached to that number. When Mike felt the particular exchange was concluded, he would have me fetch the “rubber paddle.” This was one of several new implements he ordered. I would bring it to him and he would immediately administer the number of swats that corresponded to whatever number of vocabulary infractions I had during that conversation.   We then had a paper posted on the refrigerator that kept a running tally of my vocabulary infractions (and when we went out, I carried a notepad to keep tally).   Each time I got to 10, he would then administer the Jumping Jacks of Doom.

We couldn’t continue this vocabulary rule into our daily life, but I am now in the habit of always calling him Sir when the kids aren’t around and out of habit I have even do so several times in front the kids. I had done it before in front of our youngest and he never commented or seemed to think anything of it, but our middle child did. I just chalked it up to being playful and silly (which is true, just not all the truth).

Oh, and I’ll comment about this rubber paddle. I hate it. It is odd.  The sting from it is not all that greater than other items, but it seems to have a longer lasting effect. The sting seems to stay around for quite a bit after the spanking. It makes my ass a bit raw and thus not only stings for longer, but if I get spanked again soon after, that spanking stings a whole lot more than usual, regardless of what implement is used.   I don’t know if this is due to the type of paddle, how Mike is using it, or just how my ass reacts to it. Whatever the reason, it is not a favorite of mine.

Next: 37. Uggh.  Assistance with Activities of Daily Living. 

 

37. Uggh! Assistance with Activites of Daily Living

Yea! I have some unexpected free time and get to do another post today. In typical Jenny style, I can’t just jump in and share my most dreadful experience during our immersion. It needs a little set up.

I already shared the most challenging rule of the immersion and now I will share the most humbling.

When Mike and I first talked about what our immersion would be like, we talked about how far he should push things. Mike had shared several ideas with me prior to our immersion, but I told him not to tell me everything he had planned. I wanted there to be the element of shock and awe.   And for everything he did share I was quick to reassure him I was comfortable with those things and was willing to go deeper. I told him to go far, even if he felt it was humiliating to me. I told him I don’t and wouldn’t look at any of the things he was thinking of as humiliating. I vividly remember telling him that I would take anything he thought was humiliating and at worst I would just likely be humbled by it, not humiliated.  Well, I guess I lied. After all, humbled, mortified, and embarrassed, are all meanings of the word humiliated, and I felt all of those things.

Mike had this idea that I could not be responsible for any of my self-care; eating, dressing, bathing, and yes, using the bathroom.

Eating: I would fix Mike’s meal and he would eat it as I waited, kneeling nearby, getting up only to fetch anything else he needed. When he was done I would clean up, and then could make myself something. I would bring it over to Mike and then kneel down next to him.   He would cut my food and feed me. I could not use my hands at all, even to use a napkin. (There were a few times Mike “invited” me to dine with him as a special treat, although frankly, it was probably because feeding me was pretty tedious). A few times we had John and Donna over and they would take turns feeding me. Oh, keep in mind I also had a standing rule at all times that I could never speak unless spoken to.

Dressing: I was always naked when we were home, but we did go out in public a few times during our immersion (those outings can be another story I can share). Mike would pick out my clothes and dress me. He really couldn’t handle my hair and would call Donna over to brush and fix it nicely. Oh, and when we got home, I couldn’t undress myself. He had to undress me.

Bathing: I could not lift a hand and had to be bathed by someone else. It included a very thorough washing and drying of every nook and cranny. The water was always cold, except one night when Mike rewarded me with a warm bath.  Mike also enlisted the help of both John and Donna.   Sometimes Mike would bathe me, other times it was John and other times it was Donna. While John had seen me naked before – heck, he has seen me masturbate – having him bathe me was a bit eerie.   Mike was not present when one of them would bathe me so it seemed a bit more personal, a bit more intimate. And again, I could never speak unless spoken to.   One time I said something to John and when he reported it to Mike, Mike had John spank me for the infraction.

Bathroom: This was the most shocking and humbling and yes, I will say humiliating. Having to always ask permission to use the bathroom was no big deal. It was the only time I could speak without being spoken to. What was a big deal is that I couldn’t use the bathroom alone. Someone, usually Mike, always had to be with me. Worst yet, I could not attend to certain things on my own. Okay, I’ll just say it. I was not allowed to wipe myself. When it came to #2, Mike thought such a task was not going to fall on him either, so, I had to call Donna when I needed assistance with that. Yes, just imagine the phone call. “Donna, this is Jen, can you come over and wipe me?” There were a few times Donna was not available and Mike made me call and ask John. Luckily, John declined the invitation each time. I guess he even has limits. Ha!   But Donna didn’t have the luxury of declining. John loved the idea of her having to do this that he soon had me return the favor and Donna was calling me when she needed assistance.   Of course, this was the first thing I said had to go once our immersion was over. I was not going to carry this over to become routine.

So, there it is.   I wasn’t going to share this one but Mike reads my blog and insists I share. Uggh!

I imagine there can’t possibly be anything that would be more difficult for me to share than what I just shared with you (or is there?).

Next: 38. Bow-chicka NOPE!  plus Tattoo Parlor Confessions

12. Our DD Contract

The length of this post will probably discourage you to read it, but I am so proud of our “creation” that I wanted to share it in its’ entirety.

Although we wanted a simple contract, we also wanted to be concise regarding intent, as there is a lot that is left to Mike’s discretion.  Remember, this is our third iteration of a contract and some of the details were added to specifically address real-life situations that came up so that the contract would continue to guide Mike as close to my wishes as possible.  If you read my other posts, you know that my version of DD is a selfish one where the rules are established on my terms.

I am happy to answer any questions about any part of this.

So, if you have some time to kill, have at it.   – and I apologize in advance for some formatting glitches as this didn’t copy and paste well. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Domestic Discipline Agreement for Mike and Jennifer

Table of Contents

1. Purpose
2. Definitions
3. Effective Date, Term, and Renegotiations
4. Duties and Obligations
5. Rewards
6. Maintenance Sessions
7. Journal Requirements

Whereas Mike and Jennifer wish to voluntarily and without pressure from the other or from anyone else, wish to enter into a loving, caring, and consensual agreement regarding their obligations to one another for the Purpose stated below.

SECTION I. PURPOSE. Establish a caring, consensual, fair set of obligations and duties that will have a positive impact on the life of Mike and Jennifer by codifying and reinforcing their commitments to one another with the purpose of helping Jennifer live the life she desires for herself, thereby allowing her to love life, every moment, and every day. The word “always” is intended to precede every condition set forth in this agreement, even if the word “always” was not used, as Jennifer and Mike agree to always be bound by the Agreement without exception, during the term of this Agreement.

Mike’s statement of intent for entering into this Agreement: Jennifer, I love you with all my being and admire and respect all that you do for me and this family. I commit to always treating you in the manner you want to be treated and together we can continue growing our love and respect for each other. Thank you for your tremendous trust and confidence, and most importantly, for your love. I enter into this agreement with the promise to adhere to your wishes in helping you fulfill the obligations you have committed to.

Jennifer’s statement of intent for entering into this Agreement: Mike, I can’t thank you enough for taking this journey with me and having the love and respect necessary to do this. I have always held myself to high standards, first and foremost to myself, but also for you and our kids. I take responsibility for myself and I wholeheartedly enter into this Agreement with you as it was my idea and largely of my writing. This Agreement gives me the framework, with your assistance, to help me meet my own standards more consistently. I surrender so much of myself to you because my love, respect, and trust in you is without end.

SECTION II. DEFINITIONS.

1. Transgressions: Violation by Jennifer of her Duties and Obligations
2. Rewards: A consequence of Jennifer’s Transgression(s). Other commonly understood terms given to such consequences include but are not limited to “punishment,” “penalty,” “spanking,” or “discipline.” Jennifer selected to use the term Reward to reflect Mike’s and Jennifer’s agreement that the consequences for Transgressions are the key to achieving her goal to continue to grow towards the person she wants to be. Anything that helps her towards this goal is therefore a Reward.
   1. Physical Rewards are those that include physical contact of Jennifer by Mike, such as a spanking.
   2. Non-Physical Rewards are those that exclude physical contact of Jennifer by Mike, such as a time-out or withholding of privileges.
   3. Additional Rewards are those that Mike may add in addition to the Rewards specified in this agreement, subject to Section V of this Agreement.
   4. Immediate Rewards begin with an immediate Physical Reward. For instance, a spanking that is administered immediately on the spot. Its purpose is to provide an element of “shock and awe” when Mike determines it is needed in order to provide the most effective Reward. It allows Jennifer to know that at any time she could be seconds away from a Reward if Mike determines her behavior calls for it.
   5. Prompt Rewards do not immediately begin with a Physical Reward. For instance, Jennifer is directed to her room to wait for Mike to come and present the Reward. It is Jennifer and Mike’s expectation that most rewards will be Prompt.
   6. Delayed Rewards can not immediately begin with a Physical Reward or Prompt Reward, such as when in a public place or when an Immediate or Prompt Reward is not practical.

SECTION III. EFFECTIVE DATE, TERM, AND RENEGOTIATION

1. 1. TERM Mike and Jennifer agree to these terms effective October 17, 2015, and these terms remain valid until changed by Renegotiation. The next scheduled Renegotiation Date is in two (2) years, on October 17, 2017, and any changes, suspension, or termination of this Agreement are subject to the Renegotiation Stipulations.
   2. RENEGOTIATION
      1. Renegotiation Stipulations All terms and conditions of this contract remain in effect until commencement of the negotiation process. Mike and Jennifer shall meet on October 17, 2017 to discuss renegotiation of this Agreement. If the parties are unable to meet on the Renegotiation Date, both parties must mutually agree on an alternative Renegotiation Date.Any alternative date must be set no later than November 17, 2017. Failure to meet by that date will result in automatic renewal of the contract under its present terms and the Renegotiation Date will be reset by one full year, to October 17, 2018. If future Renegotiation Dates do not result in completion of the Renegotiation Process, the contract will continue to automatically renew in one-year increments in perpetuity.If either party purposely avoids a Renegotiation, this contract can be terminated with cause by either Jennifer or Mike by November 17, in the year the Renegotiation was avoided.
      2. Renegotiation Process / Suspension and Resumptions of Rewards
         The Renegotiation is to review this contract and update it as necessary.   It is not a review or critique of anyone’s performance under the contract. Such performance reviews are exclusive to Maintenance Sessions.At the prescribed date and time of the renegotiation, the parties will meet to discuss the changes they wish to make.The meeting will begin by Mike declaring “The Renegotiating Meeting is now in order.”Upon that declaration, the terms of this contract become suspended. Jennifer is free to express herself in any manner, no longer bound by any of the terms of this agreement. This allows Jennifer to speak freely and frankly and fully express herself without concern of punishment, retribution, rewards, or any other negative consequences. While Jennifer is free to speak without conditions, Jennifer understands the importance of maintaining an environment that is in keeping with the love and respect she desires for herself and her relationship with Mike. As such she desires to keep the conversation forward thinking, and not resurface long settled issues. For example, instead of a critique of “I wish you would have…” or “I hated it when…” she will strive to frame things in a forward thinking manner such as, “Next time I would like…” or “Going forward I want to…”Jennifer will speak first and discuss what has worked well and what can be improved. Allowing her to speak first recognizes that this Agreement is ultimately her Agreement that she is in control. Mike will then speak and dialogue will continue until all changes in terms have been agreed upon and a new contract is signed by both parties.When signed, Jennifer will then declare, “This Renegotiation Meeting is now over and I am bound by our new Agreement.”If the meeting must continue into a second or subsequent meeting, then Mike will declare, “This Renegotiating Meeting will continue on {stated date and/or time}.”Upon that declaration, the suspension is over and all duties and obligations are in full effect until Mike calls the next Renegotiation meeting to order.

SECTION IV. DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS

1. 1. General Duties and Obligations
      1. Jennifer shall, at all times, be Honest, Obedient, and Safe in her daily life, and to adhere to all aspects regarding her moral commitments she has made under this Agreement. She shall defer to Mike’s judgement as to the interpretation or application of any Transgression or Reward.
      2. Mike shall strive to reflect the spirit of this Agreement and never hesitate to hold Jennifer accountable to her promises she made to herself.   It is Jennifer’s expressed and unqualified intent to be responsible to Mike for any and all of her Transgressions. Jennifer wishes, requests, and demands that Mike address every Transgression with an appropriate Reward as quickly as possible. If Jennifer feels Mike is performing otherwise, she will respectively discuss it during Maintenance Sessions.
   2. Jennifer’s Duties and Obligations
      1. Honesty: It is Jennifer’s duty and obligation to always be unquestionably honest in all her interactions with Mike. It is at Mike’s discretion to determine if that honesty is in question and the mere doubt as to Jennifer’s honesty is sufficient to be labeled as dishonest, as her honesty must be unquestionable.
         Dishonesty includes withholding the truth, embellishing a story, or withholding important information from Mike. Important information is any information that Jennifer should know is important to Mike. Jennifer should not bother Mike with trivial things or unnecessary details. Important information is any information that Mike labels as such at his complete discretion. Jennifer must learn to recognize what is important information to share with Mike and what is trivial. 
         
      2. Obedience:  Obedience includes Respecting Mike as the Head of Household, Physical Self-Care, Emotional Self-Care, Household Cleanliness, and Finances.
         1. Respecting Mike as head of household.
            – It is Jennifer’s duty and obligation to be unquestionably obedient to Mike and do what she is told without hesitation and without body language that Mike may interpret as rude, dismissive, or that conveys that Jennifer is in any way inconvenienced by Mike’s request, or is in any way displeasing to Mike. This includes any instruction Mike gives her on any topic.
            – Jennifer must always respond “Yes Sir” or “No Sir” when having conversations with Mike whether in public or private. The only exceptions are when we are in the presence of family or friends who are unaware of their DD lifestyle.
            – Jennifer is not permitted to cuss at Mike. Cussing at Mike will result in both being subject to both an Obedience and Emotional Self-Care transgression.
            – Sexual Obedience: Jennifer may ask for any sexual act to be performed upon or by her and it is at Mike’s discretion to allow or deny it. Mike may ask for any sexual act to be performed upon or by Jennifer and Jennifer cannot refuse, regardless of the act. Jennifer must also share any sexual thoughts, dreams desires, or fantasies she has. She may address concerns regarding any sexual acts at the next Maintenance Session following the performance of the act. If she does not wish to do that act again or requests a change in how it is done, Mike must either discontinue or modify said act the next time it is to be performed.
         2. Physical Self-Care: Jennifer must look after her own physical well-being; bathing before bedtime, brushing and flossing teeth (no cavities), maintaining combed hair that is neat and controlled, going to regular doctor, dental, and optometrist, or other medical appointments, taking any meds as prescribed, maintaining OTC meds (vitamins, etc.) as agreed upon, and getting good rest. Jennifer will maintain her pubic area according to Mike’s wishes, whether that be to partially or wholly shave, trim, or grow out her pubic hair.
         3. Emotional Self-Care: The facets of this care include Feelings, Workload, Masturbation, and Journaling.
            1. Feelings: Jennifer must never sacrifice her own feelings for someone else’s other than Mike or their children. This includes overextending her time and emotions to other family members or friends. Mike will tell Jennifer if she needs to decrease her attention on others and Jennifer will comply with his instructions.   Any cussing by Jennifer for any reason at any time will be deemed a failure to properly express her feelings and any cussing directed at Mike will be subject to both a Transgression of Obedience and of Emotional Self-Care.
            2. Workload: Jennifer must not take on more than she can handle. Mike will know when this has occurred because of how Jennifer is impacted when she is over worked. That impact manifests itself through things that include but are not limited to: missed deadlines for completion of various tasks, missed doctor appointments, leaving the house without her cell phone or any other item that was needed for that errand, leaving the house without a fully charged cell phone, not keeping personal belongings clean and in working order (if broken, repairs must be quickly arranged). Other indicators are at Mike’s discretion to identify and for Jennifer to self-report.
               Workload also includes completion of household chores. Neither Jennifer or Mike intend for Jennifer to do all the cleaning but Jennifer is responsible for identifying any household duties that need to be completed, whether or not she is able to immediately address them. This ensures Mike is aware that Jennifer is aware of the need, and they can set expectations on when those chores must be addressed. Mike will continue to perform household cleaning as is able, and Jennifer will do the same; however, Jennifer will not watch television, talk on the phone, socialize in any manner, be on the computer, or do anything to otherwise “relax” when there are household duties to perform. At some point Mike may assign a time at which Jennifer must complete the chore. In addition, Jennifer will not behave in a manner that increases the household chores such as leaving trash on tables or counters, leaving dishes or cups out on end tables, towels on the floor, etc.
            3. Masturbation: Jennifer must make time to masturbate to climax at least once a week not including Maintenance Session and such time can not include time when Mike is in bed with her as this is meant as her own personal time alone. If Mike is home, she needs to ask permission if she can go masturbate; otherwise, she is free to do it when can so long as it occurs once a week.
            4. Journaling: Jennifer must maintain an adequate daily journal as described in Section VIII. Journaling.
         4. Finances: Jennifer must keep within her monthly budget and never make household purchases beyond basic necessities such as food and toiletries without Mike’s consent. If something needs to be return, she is to promptly return it.  
         5. Safety:
            1. Risk of Accident or Injury: Jennifer must not engage in activities that increase the risk of accident or injury to herself or others as determined at Mike’s discretion. This includes but is not limited to any traffic violations whether ticketed it or not, leaving a pan on the stove, texting while driving, using the cell phone in other than hands free while driving, or unsafe activities such as leaving things on the floor that present a trip hazard (whether or not anyone actually has tripped), or standing on a ladder without someone being there for support. Further, if Jennifer breaks something, Mike will determine if it was reasonable to assume her action could have led to the breakage.
            2. Risk of Judgment of Family or Friends: As Jennifer and Mike recognize that others may unfairly judge them for their DD lifestyle, or may misconstrue the meaning of that lifestyle such that Jennifer or Mike may be at risk of harm, Jennifer and Mike agree not to share their involvement with this lifestyle with anyone unless they mutually agree to do so.

SECTION V: REWARDS

1. Rewards General Guidelines:   It is Jennifer’s duty and obligation to fully accept any and all rewards prescribed under this Agreement. Jennifer had significant input and accepts that she is the sole author of these Rewards even if she had input from Mike. Jennifer created these Rewards for herself and of her own free will. They reflect her full wishes and she gives her full and complete consent to Mike to administer these Rewards and agrees to hold Mike harmless of any and all injury that results.
   1. It is Jennifer’s intent that the Rewards remain significant enough as to cause an appropriate level of discomfort for her such that she will wish to avoid such a Reward in the future.
   2. Jennifer gives Mike full and ultimate authority to determine an appropriate Reward and Mike may use his discretion to provide Additional Rewards if he feels the prescribed Reward is not providing the level of discomfort that Jennifer intended for her Rewards. Other reasons for Additional Rewards include but are not limited to Delayed Rewards where Rewards could not be given promptly where Mike feels Jennifer should not have put herself in the position of a Delayed Reward. Other reasons for Additional Rewards can be repeated transgressions for the same or similar Duty and Obligation.
   3. If Jennifer feels a Reward was not in keeping with the intent or spirit of this Agreement, she is to say nothing at the time of the Reward and accept the Reward as given without complaint. Jennifer may journal any concerns and the next Maintenance Session will provide her opportunity to seek clarification.
   4. Jennifer can use two safe words when receiving a Reward. “Hold on” would instruct Mike to slow down or lessen the intensity. “Mercy” would instruct Mike to stop the Reward. The Reward would not be canceled, but would be postponed an appropriate amount of time or modified to allow Jennifer to ultimately accept her Reward. It is at Mike’s discretion to postpone or modify but Jennifer is free to continue using safe words throughout the continuation of a Reward and Mike must continue to postpone or modify as needed. No additional Reward is given due to the use of any safe word.
2. Reward Timing:   Rewards are to be primarily administered promptly, but may be Immediate if Mike feels Jennifer will benefit the most from immediate action. When a Prompt or Immediate Reward is not possible, it is to be administered as soon as reasonably possible and will be referred to as a Delayed Reward.  When out in public, reasonable actions must be taken to ensure a Prompt Reward. Those actions include but are not limited to finding a family bathroom that Mike and Jennifer can go into, pulling over to a reasonably private area and administering the Reward in the car, or leaving an event to return home for the Reward. Deciding how or if to Reward while out in public will be at Mike’s sole discretion. If the Transgression occurs at home and there are guests or kids present, Mike has discretion to give a Prompt or Delayed Reward.
3. Rewards Ceremony:
   1. 1. Ceremony Integrity: Rewards are to be given in a calm, purposeful, and resolved manner. The purpose of the Reward is for Jennifer to remain Reflective, Remorseful, and Surrendered and appropriate After Care is required. Mike will close the Ceremony with a clear and declarative statement to indicate with the Ceremony has ended.
         1. 1. Reflective: Sufficient discomfort should result so that Jennifer is reminded to reflect on her duties and obligations and how she could have avoided her transgression. In addition to the discomfort, Mike may lecture Jennifer, either before or during the Reward so that she may properly reflect on her Transgression.
         2. Remorseful: Jennifer should feel remorse, not sorrow. Her remorse is only to herself, and not to Mike or anyone else, as she has made these commitments to herself alone, and thus can only feel remorseful to herself for letting herself down.
         3. Surrendered: Jennifer must be physically surrendered during the Reward, granting Mike the authority to deliver the Reward he feels is in keeping with the intent of this Agreement. This means no pulling away, pushing Mike’s hand, or in any way interfering with the Reward.
         4. After care: Mike is to comfort Jennifer by cuddling her and maintain a comforting mindset with affirming words of love and commitment. No lecturing during After Care as all the focus on expressing love for Jennifer and reassuring all is forgiven. Neither Mike nor Jennifer will talk about the Reward she just received as all focus is on their love and on reassurance for Jennifer.
         5. Closing Ceremony: Mike will say “all is forgiven” and Jennifer will respond “all is forgiven” as a sign that she has forgiven herself for her Transgression and also holds no negative feelings towards Mike for administering the Reward and that Mike holds no lingering feelings about the Transgression. Life moves on in peace. Any aspect of Prompt, Immediate, Delayed, and Additional awards may be modified by Mike at his discretion so long as they maintain Ceremony Integrity. Jennifer is never to question a Reward and always accept the Reward given. She may later ask for clarification during a Maintenance Session subject to the terms of a Maintenance Session.
      2. Prompt Awards:
         1. 1. Mike will instruct Jennifer to go to her room. This instruction may be direct and verbal, or may be a non-verbal, disapproving nod from Mike (to be used when kids or guests are present).   Jennifer will excuse herself and go to her room.
         2. Upon entering the room Jennifer will disrobe completely (if no guests or children are present/awake in the house), or remain clothed if there are others in the house or children that are awake.
         3. Jennifer will stand facing the designated corner waiting for Mike. Absent any other instructions from Mike, her posture will be upright, with her hands to her side, palms open and touching the side of her legs. Mike may prescribed a variation, such as sitting in a chair or kneeling, or standing with a quarter pressed against Jennifer’s nose and wall, or standing with arms out to her side.
         4. Upon Mike’s entrance into the room, Mike may remain silent and leave Jennifer in the corner until he is ready to continue the Reward. Jennifer is to remain silent. Mike will then instruct Jennifer to either retrieve an implement or he will simply call Jennifer over.
         5. Jennifer is to remain silent and kneel down in front of Mike with her eyes open and her head bowed.
         6. Mike speaks first and asked Jennifer to state why she is due this Reward. Jennifer must look up and into Mike’s eyes and accurately state why she is receiving the Reward, else Additional Rewards may be earned. Her statement should be spoken clearly and matter-of-factly so that Mike can easily hear. If Mike has to ask her to repeat herself she will earn additional Rewards. She must apologize for not living up to the standards she has set for herself and letting no one down except herself. She must thank Mike in advance for recognizing her transgression and for presenting her Reward, and accept and ask for the reward that is to come. She is to maintain eye contact with Mike as she speaks and return to bowing her head after she has completed speaking. While it does not need to be verbatim, her statement should sound something like this, “Mike, I am sorry for doing x, as that does not live up to the standard I have set for myself and I have let no one down except myself. Thank you for noticing the transgression and for presenting me with this reward so that I may reflect on my transgression and not repeat it. I gladly accept the Reward you are about to give me. Please give me my Reward now.”
         7. Mike will thank Jennifer for recognition of the transgression and Mike will lecture Jennifer as he deems appropriate. When Mike has completed lecturing Jennifer, he will instruct her as to the position she must take. Mike is free to continue lecturing during the Reward.
         8. Jennifer will go across Mike’s knee unless Mike has prescribes an alternative position.
         9. Warm up of 10 swats by hand.
         10. Commencement of Reward.
         11. Appropriate After-Care.
         12. Closing Ceremony.
4. Immediate Rewards
   1. Jennifer agrees to be subject to an Immediate Reward at any time, at any place, with no exception. If Mike is comfortable administering the Reward in a given location, Jennifer must accept the Reward in that location, regardless of how public or private it may be.
   2. Mike will immediately direct Jennifer to pull down or remove her pants and panties. He does not need to explain why.
   3. Jennifer is not to object or speak. She is only to immediately comply. She is not to move from the spot she is standing and must immediately and quickly bare her bottom and immediately and quickly bend over without Mike instructing her to do so.
   4. Mike will then give her the Reward. There are no warm-ups as the purpose of Immediate Rewards is to administer the Reward as swift as possible.  Strokes will be in quick succession and continue as long as Mike wishes.
   5. Immediate Rewards must maintain the integrity of the Ceremony.
   6. While Jennifer is still bent over, Mike will ask Jennifer why she earned that Reward.
   1. 1. 1. If Jennifer is uncertain, incorrect, or just does not know why, Mike will administer another Reward. Mike will then explain to Jennifer why she earned the Reward. While maintaining her bent over position Jennifer will then apologize consistent with the Prompt Reward apology. Mike will give a third a final Immediate Award.
         2. If Jennifer was able to identify why she received the Immediately Reward, Mike will let her know she was correct and while maintaining her bent over position Jennifer will apologize consistent with the Prompt Reward apology. Mike will give a second and final Immediate Award.
   1. 1. 1. Jennifer may receive further instructions from Mike, such as to stand in the nearest corner. Jennifer is not to pull up her pants until instructed to do so.
         2. Appropriate After Care.
         3. Closing Ceremony.
      2. Delayed Rewards follow the same ceremony as Prompt Awards, but often include Additional Rewards at Mike’s discretion.
      3. Additional Rewards follow the same ceremony as Prompt Awards.
   2. Reward Levels: Mike has full discretion as to type, length, and severity of rewards with the understanding that all Rewards are intended to help Jennifer meet her duties and obligations to herself, her family, and to her husband by providing sufficient discomfort such that it serves as a physical and emotional reminder as to the goals Jennifer has set for herself.   Rewards consist of Common Rewards, Escalated Rewards, Intense Rewards, and Maintenance Rewards.
   1. 1. Common Reward As the name suggests, these are the most commonly prescribed Rewards. They are characterized by the following:
         1. Bare hand to bare buttocks
         2. 30 swats total. Mike uses his discretion as to how the swats are distributed per cheek. It can be all 100% one cheek if he so chooses.
         3. About 1/3^rd force.
      2. Escalated Reward This is for situations that call for greater Reward so as to fulfill the stated purpose of Rewards and are characterized by the following:
         1. Bare hand and/or implement of Mike’s choosing. Common implements are hair brush, wooden spoon, paddle board, or belt but may be anything that Mike chooses.
         2. Number of swats may vary based on implement. Typically no more than 60 in total with about half being by hand. Mike uses his discretion as to how the swats are distributed per cheek.   It can be100% one cheek if he so chooses.
         3. About one-half force.
      3. Intense Reward For the most egregious of Transgressions or for repeating the same Transgressions many times.   These call for the greatest Reward so as to fulfill the stated purpose of Rewards and are characterized by the following:
         1. Bare hand and/or implement of Mike’s choosing.
         2. No limit to the prescribed number of swats. This is typically a timed event, where Mike may tell Jennifer the Rewards will continue for a set amount of time, or, he may simply keep the time limit to himself so Jennifer has no sense of when it will end. There may be breaks as Mike deems appropriate where Jennifer will be left alone and for Mike to return later to continue.
         3. Typically the level of force will vary during the Reward and include up to any level Mike chooses.  As the purpose of an intense reward is to deliver an extended Reward experience to Jennifer, Mike should use a level of force necessary as to allow for an extended Reward Ceremony. In other words, too much force will likely result in a short session, thus negating the purpose of an Intense Reward. The intent of Intense Rewards is to deliver a prolonged experience.
      1. Maintenance Reward These are delivered each week at the Maintenance Session. This Reward cannot be substituted, altered, or changed. It is intended to be a consistent and reliable reminder to Jennifer’s commitments to herself, her family, and her husband and something she is to look forward to and know what to expect.
         1. Bare hand to the buttocks
         2. 15 swats with two-thirds force in rapid succession. Mike uses his discretion as to how the swats are distributed per cheek.   It can be 100% one cheek if he so chooses.
5. Spanking Substitutions and Other Rewards
   1. Spanking Substitutions: Spankings may be substituted with swats across the palms with a ruler or belt at Mike’s discretion.
   2. Other Physical but Non-spanking Rewards:  Mike may provide other physical but non-spanking Rewards at his discretion. These are intended to be in addition to Rewards already given and intended to be applied either concurrently with a Reward or as part of a time-out or corner time. Other Physical but Non-spanking Rewards include application of breast bindings, nipple clamps, and insertion of a butt plug. These Rewards are administered at Mike’s discretion and are intended to provide heightened sensitivity and/or discomfort. Use of these implements will be timed events where Mike will instruct Jennifer to set a timer and she may remove the items when the time expires. Mike my require use of these implements while Jennifer goes about her household duties or even out in public.
   3. Other Non-Physical Rewards:  Include extended corner time, kneeling, loss of privileges such as television or internet, and grounding such that Jennifer may not see friends or family for prescribed time that is not to exceed one week.

SECTION VI. MAINTENANCE SESSIONS Maintenance Session are weekly meetings (typically Sunday evenings) where Mike and Jennifer meet to discuss the events of the week and for Jennifer to receive Maintenance Rewards both at the beginning and the end of the Session. The Maintenance Session will follow this order.

1. Mike will have Jennifer join him in the bedroom and advise her it is for their Maintenance Session (or alternate location as needed).
2. Upon entering the room Jennifer shall disrobe without instruction from Mike and will remain nude throughout the Session.Mike will administer the Maintenance Reward. The purpose of starting the meeting with this Reward is to remind Jennifer that while the Maintenance Session allows her to ask questions of Mike, she must maintain respect and a matter-of-fact tone to avoid a Transgression.
3. Mike and Jennifer will embrace and Jennifer will speak, reaffirming her love and respect for herself, her family, and for Mike. Mike will in turn express his love for Jennifer and thank her the commitment of personal responsibility she has made and state his continued support to help her become the person she wants to be.
4. Mike will instruct Jennifer to get her journal. Jennifer will retrieve it and then kneel down in front of Mike. She will open the journal to where she may have noted anything she wants clarification to. Jennifer must do so from a point of wanting to clarify so as to perform better in the future. She shall not whine or be argumentative and her tone will remain matter-of-fact. Jennifer must keep her inquiries to things that occurred in the prior week only as all previous issues were closed as of the last Maintenance Session.  Mike and Jennifer will then have a dialogue regarding the issues Jennifer raised. Jennifer will remain respectful at all times.
5. Mike may bring up any concerns he had during the week where he believe Jennifer may want clarification or bring up anything else he wishes to address. He will never express disappointment in her performance for the week as all Rewards will have been given and thus those issues are resolved and closed.
6. Mike will ask Jennifer to read any self-reported transgressions from her Journal. She must present them matter-of-factly, no excuse or reasons. Just state the Transgression. Mike will thank Jennifer for staying true to her commitments and self-reporting her Transgressions. Mike will determine the appropriate Reward for those self-reported Transgressions.
7. Jennifer shall present her Journal to Mike for inspection. Mike will review to ensure it meets the Journal Requirements.
8. Mike will administer any Awards necessary regarding self-reported Transgressions or journal deficiencies. If no such Awards are needed, he will administer another Maintenance Reward so that she has some sensations to see her through her self-reflection time.
9. Mike will give Jennifer some self-reflection time where she first is to masturbate to climax. Jennifer will choose the location in the bedroom where she wishes to masturbate. She may ask Mike if she can use an aide such as a vibrator. Mike may allow it at his discretion. Mike may stay present during her masturbation but will remain silent and away from her immediate proximity.
10. Upon climaxing, Jennifer will lay relaxed, in thought, reflecting on her past week and the week to come. She may nap or otherwise meditate in thought. Mike will leave Jennifer alone if he has not already left the room.
11. Mike will return to the room after a period of time of choosing, usually 45 minutes to an hour later.
12. Upon Mike’s return, Jennifer will kneel in front of him and looking him in the eyes will recommit herself to her duties and obligations and her hopes to meet her expectations for herself for the coming weeks. She will then bow her head and reach out her hands.
13. When Mike is ready he will hold her outreached hands while Jennifer remains kneeling with her head bowed down. They will maintain that position until Mike asks her to stand.
14. Mike will instruct Jennifer to bend over and receive her last Maintenance Reward. This is to remind her again of the commitment she has made to meet her Duties and Obligations to herself.
15. Mike and Jennifer will embrace and cuddle as per After Care procedures.
16. Mike will call the Maintenance Session to an end.

SECTION VII. Journal Requirements

Jennifer shall keep an adequate hand-written daily journal that Mike will check at Maintenance Sessions. Entries do not need to be written in complete sentences and there is no requirement that it be a certain length – however, it must be easy to read and must be easily understood. “Adequacy” is at Mike’s discretion. The journal must be stored in the safe in the master closet. The journal will consists of daily entries regarding:

1. What Jennifer was most proud and thankful of for that day.
2. Jennifer’s reflection on any Rewards, if any that day. She does not need to document every Reward, but is expected to reflect in general on the Reward(s) of the day and comment on whether the considered them a bit light, just right, or a bit tough.
3. Any Transgressions that occurred that Mike was not aware of.
4. Noting any masturbating she did (exclusive of Maintenance Session) including details around when, where, and how she masturbated.
5. Any points of clarity she wants to ask for during a Maintenance Session.

   UPDATE:  You can view our October 2017 contract HERE!

Next – 13. Now what?  The sting of the paddle. . .