Tag Archives: sex

311. You want me to do what? (TJ and Kim Part II)

311

I shared some background about my new friends, TJ and Kim.   My relationship with them has evolved over the past 6-7 months.  While some of this should be in past tense, I write using a current tense as I am sharing it with you for the first time.  I think that makes it easier to follow, no?   Anyway, I babble too much. . .   

I left off stating that Kim began sharing details of her sex life with me.  More to the point, the lack of details.  Kim rarely has sex with TJ, and it’s been that way throughout their marriage.   Yes, they had sex enough to have two kids, so yes, they have sex.  But rarely.
As I learned, it was Kim that had a lot of sexual hangups.  Hangups she openly admitted. 

She grew up being told sex was dirty, naughty, and the only acceptable response to sexual desire was guilt and shame.   So, yeah, there’s that. 

I mentioned that she knew TJ and his ex-wife, Shelagh, even before they were married as they ran around the same circle of friends.   She said she always had a crush on TJ but felt she couldn’t “compete” with Shelagh.  She knew Shelagh well and knew Shelagh to be bisexual, open to threesomes, and basically open to anything sexual.  She wore her sexuality on her sleeve, which was in contrast to Kim, who locked it away buried deep inside her soul. 

Kim had limited sexual experiences before TJ.  She had sex “a few times” with a boyfriend that was fairly serious and they dated for almost six months.  She admits the break up had to do with her reluctance to have sex.   And it wasn’t about “saving herself for marriage.”  She made it clear to the then boyfriend that it was what he should expect from her always.  She even told him, “Sex is something I don’t enjoy.”   

She had a single one-night stand that she “forced herself to do” as she put it.  She just wanted to break out of her sexual shell and thought that might do it.  It didn’t.  It only made her feel worse about herself and about sex in general.   

She even “messed around,” as she called it, once with a woman, but stopped it before they went too far.  She said it was in reaction to trying to “be like Shelagh.”   

She admitted she had this admiration for Shelagh along with a simultaneous feeling of disgust, all wrapped in jealousy as Kim was attracted to TJ.   She always thought of TJ as unattainable and that he wouldn’t ever go for someone “like her.”  She saw Shelagh’s appeal to TJ as being 100% sexual and always imagined they had incredible, crazy, non-stop sex.   Kim said she felt so disconnected because she couldn’t even imagine the word “incredible” and “sex” could go together but just knew that it did for other people. 

Kim also doesn’t masturbate and had a traumatic experience as a child when she was caught touching herself.  It makes me angry to think about it.  She said she was only 8 or 9 and had no clue about what sex was or that it even existed as a thing people did.  She simply noticed one day that it felt good to rub down there.  She said in her mind it was no different than say, the feeling of a good stretch or a cool washcloth on a warm face.  It wasn’t sexual in her innocent mind.  It just felt good. 

To her parents, you’d think she had just strangled a baby.   They were mortified.  She says it took her years to even understand all the terrible things they told her as the thoughts her parents projected were so foreign and over her young head.   While she didn’t understand the meaning, she did understand they were terrible things.  She said her parents said a lot of things, but two words stuck with her.  Even though she didn’t understand what that meant at the time, she understood they were terrible things.  “Pervert.”  “Deviant.” 

Who would call a child such a thing?  And it wasn’t like they just overreacted and let it drop.  For years her parents, especially her mom, would bring up that incident as an example of her abnormal behaviors and thoughts.  

FAST FORWARD TO MARRIAGE
Shelagh and TJ got divorced and Shelagh dropped out of their social circle.  Kim and TJ always talked here and there, but the talks became more frequent and then turned into actual dates with just the two of them and not their group of friends.   Kim said that once it was clear they liked each other and were dating, she knew she would have to force herself to perform all the wild things she had conjured up in her head that TJ and Shelagh must have done. 

Kim said that once they had sex it was obvious to TJ that something was up.  He could tell she was “uncomfortable yet ambitious.”   She vividly remembers those two words because at the time she told herself, “That’s better than pervert and deviant.”   They then had a frank conversation about sex.  She remembers it as one of the most mortifying discussions she ever had.  Here’s this guy she has always had a crush on, who she thinks expects gymnastics in the bedroom.  And here she is, worse than a sexual novice, she was a sexual desert, void of any positive feelings about sex. 

He told her that the sex was not as important to him as simply being around her.  At the time she interpreted as “let’s just be friends” but, to her amazement, quickly realized that no, he still wanted to be dating her.  To be clear, he did tell her that he enjoyed the sex they had, and would enjoy more of it, but that he understood if it was something she didn’t want to do very often.   She said she didn’t have the courage to tell him, “Very often?  How about never?”   

They did have sex here and there but said it was always something “she allowed” TJ to do to her.  It wasn’t something she did to him or that the did together.   How sad. 

Clearly, TJ accepted this.  They got married and had sex enough times to have two kids within four years.   Kim said that at the time, having sex with the prospects of getting pregnant was the first time she had an inkling of enjoyment out of the sex.  She looked at as “sex with a purpose” and that purpose didn’t include feeling the pleasure that was “deviant or perverted.”

Oddly, Kim said that her feelings about sex are compartmentalized as to apply only to her.  She understands others enjoy it and wants others to enjoy it.  She said even thinking of her daughters as sexually active someday doesn’t bother her.   She said she knows Hailey masturbates and even offered to buy her a vibrator (which she said Hailey embarrassingly declined and said, “Mom!  Are you nuts? I don’t want to talk to you about that.”  Kim said she told Hailey there wasn’t any need to talk, but that it was okay and fine if she ever wanted to talk or wanted a vibrator.

To me, it’s incredible to hear that, and other examples she shared of being very sex-positive with her daughter.  I often find the “sins of the parents” are often instilled into their kids who can’t help but project the judgment of their own parents onto their kids.  And while I know it isn’t always like that, rarely is it the opposite extreme of openly rejecting that judgment.   Good for Kim, and if only she could reject that judgment on herself.

TODAY (as in a few months ago)
Kim told me that she and TJ have sex a few times a year.  She does oral on his birthday, and beyond that, it’s just penis-in-vagina sex.  She does let him finger her, but she rarely touches his penis.  She says she thinks she has climaxed a few times but isn’t sure (which to me, means she hasn’t).

She told me she really wishes she could open up sexually, but it just horrifies her.  I suggested counseling but she said that horrifies her even more.   She said she can barely talk about it with TJ, is totally weirded out by talking to me about it, and can’t imagine talking to a stranger.  She said she is only able to overcome her fear and talk to me because I seem so at ease with my sexuality.  (Yes, Kim asked me all sorts of details and I shared them as if sharing a favorite recipe).

Then, one day, she told me she had something to ask me.  I recognized her expression and awkwardness.  I’ve seen it before.  It meant that the topic had something to do with sex.   My mind raced with what it might be as I had been sensing she was wanting something sexually from me.  What she asked me was not the “something” that I was expecting.

Next: 312.  Oh, you want me to do THAT!

304. Driving my Dominant

304

Oh, no, no, no!  Not THAT kind of driving.  I mean, “driving” as in “motivating, influencing, have an effect on.”  As in, “What’s driving him to Dominant the way he does?”  Hee hee.  Yeah, Mike leaves the dildos for “female entrance” only. lol.   

I posted recently about my high sex drive.  Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you want to look at it), things of sort of leveled out to a more normal sexual urge.  Which still means lots of sex, just not so frenzied about it and craving it from one moment to the next.  

It got me thinking about the ebbs and flows of not just sexual appetite, but of my need for submission.   Although there is never a time I don’t want to feel submissive towards Mike, there are times I crave it more than others.  Even a few times where I requested a spanking, “just because.”    I posted about the first time I ever asked for one in post 42.  I’ve asked for a few here and there since then, but I don’t think I posted about them.   It hasn’t been a common thing for me.  

This, in turn, led me to think about whether Mike goes through such fluxes.   There has to be time’s his sex drive is higher than normal, or times he just feels the need to do something dominant – talk sternly, give orders, give harder discipline.  That would just be normal, no? 

MIKES SEX DRIVE
When it comes to sexual urges, he said he never feels it in the way I recently did regarding just not being able to get enough.  He thinks it’s because he gets it frequently and in many varieties.  He said the “thirst” never exceeds a certain threshold before it gets quenched. 

Not to say there aren’t times where he just wants it in a given moment, or, is excited about knowing he will “get it” soon.   But those feelings are soon remedied.   Yep, he is able to get a sudden quickie of either sex or a blow job just because he feels like it.  That’s how it goes when Kayla and I make ourselves available without hesitation.   

As they say, “Multiple blow jobs a day keep the urges away.”   

Do they really say that?  Well, we do.

Mike stated that there are times he is more turned on than others and that this usually shows up in his refractory period.  That is, the time it takes to regain an erection after climax.  There are times he is ready to go pretty quickly, and other times he has no interest after cumming.  Basically, if he is feeling particularly horny, he is likely to rebound quickly, thus, eventually able to satisfy his immediate craving.

OH, BY THE WAY . . . 
This is a little off topic, but since when does a Jenny post stay on topic?   When we are having sex, as in sex sex, Mike is very good at making sure the woman/women involved climax, even if he has already done so.  But, in the case of the quicky blow jobs,  it is all about his need to get off.   These bj’s can occur at any time, and practically anywhere.

For me, not being able to finish myself isn’t often a big deal.  I love the submission of a giving a bj without notice, but I typically not so turned on sexually that I feel the need to get to an orgasm.  The few times I have had that feeling I simply have to take matters into my own hands, literally!    It happens way more with Kayla. I think I mentioned before that she has actually climaxed from giving head.  She really gets turned on by it.  

There are times when Mike is working from home and she gives him a quick bj in the hallway.  He has to get back to work and will sometimes tell her to masturbate until she cums, or call me over to “help her.”   Oh, the things we submissive do for our Sirs!

Okay, where were we? 

MIKE’S DOMINANCE DRIVE
As for craving Dominance, Mike said he feels he never craves it.  He chalked it up to the fact that any need he has for Dominance is constantly being fed.  He said that between me and Kayla, there is always someone waiting, serving, deferring, listening, obeying or submitting to him in one way or another.  And as for spanking, he says he doesn’t ever recall thinking, “Man, I really just want to punish her a certain way just for the sake of how it makes me feel.” 

He said he is always thinking about what we “expect and deserve” out of a punishment.  He bases that on previous infractions and punishments and his sense of what we are needing from a submissive and atonement aspect.   He said he has felt the “need” to perhaps hit a little harder, or punish a little longer.  But it comes from balancing what I deserve based on my needs and expectations.  The closest thing he related to thinking about himself is when he sometimes just wants to change things up.  For one, he likes to surprise us sometimes with something a little different, and, he enjoys thinking up different things, especially when it comes to trying to be creative in having the “punishment fit the crime” so to speak.    

MY THOUGHTS
It was nice to hear this.  But I am not like, “Aw, that’s so thoughtful and nice of him.”  I mean, he could always have some day where he just needs to dominate more than usual.  That wouldn’t make him unthoughtful.  It’s bound to happen.  However, it did warm my heart to hear him express how, even after almost four years of DD (something that I imposed on our relationship), that he still strives to stay focused on my needs and those of Kayla’s.  Even though our need is to be submissive to him, doesn’t mean our need is for him to Dominate us. 

This may sound inconsistent with what I shared six months ago in the post about our dynamic evolving to be more about his Dominance than about my submission.   But it’s more nuanced than that.  Our dynamic did evolve to where both of us wanted Mike to demonstrate his Dominance more often.  That is, I wanted him to exert more power and influence over our activities and it just so happens that Mike was also wanting to do just that.  This differed from the way our dynamic had worked previously where his Dominance had been more about executing to the things I explicitly expressed I needed as a submissive. 

My discussion with Mike regarding the topic of today’s post showed me that although Mike is now setting the tone for his Dominance, (versus me setting the tone for my submission) the tone he sets is still based on his perception of what I want and need.   Even though our DD has evolved, the needs of “his submissives” still remain the primary motive behind the power and influence he chooses to exert. 

I liked hearing that.  I do want his needs to be fulfilled over my own.  That’s my chosen role as a submissive.  And it is great to hear that his needs are to strive to fulfill my needs.  That makes for an amazing symbiotic relationship where his Dominance feeds my submission, and my submission feeds his Dominance.    

Although I can imagine some submissive prefer a more dominant Dominant, that’s just not my preference, nor Kayla’s.  I assume that could change someday, but I doubt it. 

It’s yet another reason I feel so fortunate in my DD journey.  Somehow we have been able to remain in sync regarding what each other is able to deliver (give) and what each other needs (takes).  It can be very difficult to keep the “gives and takes” in balance.   

I chalk up our success to 100% authentic and unfiltered communication and a deep desire to see the other happy and fulfilled wrapped in a complete willingness to be vulnerable to one another regarding our thoughts and needs.  And the most elusive element of all – luck.   I feel very fortunate and lucky that somehow we always make things work for us. 

Next: Post 305. Lectures. Let the expletives fly!?

282. Sex No Matt(er) what?

Mike went out-of-town on business last week.  He invited Matt to spend the day with me on Friday — and the night.   This is all part of where my relationship with Matt has evolved — it’s very much a cuck-thing.    

Matt is fun to be around and the whole idea of sort-of having a boyfriend on the side was fun and novel.  The driving force behind my relationship with Matt was the fact that it thrills Mike , but it still requires that I like Matt.   I do, but. . .  

It has reached a point where it isn’t as fun and is actually getting annoying.  Ever since Mike’s edict that I be “on call” for Matt I can’t count the number of times he would text me that he was heading over.  I jokingly called these “suck and fucks (SnF)”   The sex was awesome, but, come on, it just became very convenient.  And eventually the only remaining thrill for me was the fact Mike enjoyed this. 

After a day long SnF, that progressed far into the night, I reached a point I knew I needed to ask Mike for an end to this.  I was physically sore in whatever orifice comes to mind – and while it was all sore in a good way (the sex was awesome), enough is enough.  Compounding this is my overall decrease in energy, sexual and otherwise, and the increase in discomfort from sex — all due to my “lady part problems” that are scheduled to be fixed via hysterectomy in a few weeks.  At least I hope so, else is this what sex at 50+ is all about (okay, I am not quite there yet, another year to go).  

I asked Mike for a reprieve from sex with Matt.  Mike agreed.  Matt took it well and was apologetic if it was due to his behavior.  It really wasn’t.  I mean, what would you expect from someone in his position?   Had he been less sexually demanding, it wouldn’t have been as exciting for Mike, thus not as exciting for me.  It all was what it needed to be at that moment, and now that moment has passed.  No regrets and great memories of my time spent with Matt, sexual and otherwise. 

I agreed with Mike that we could revisit this at the start of the year.   It will be good for Matt as well as he needs to get out there and date someone who isn’t married.   And it’s not like that’s necessarily the end of Matt.  He is still in our “Circle of Trust” and will spend the occasional “game days with us.   Oh my, if he does get a girlfriend, does that mean she can be part of our Circle of Trust?   

At the rate my DD journey has delivered surprise after surprise, maybe it’s fate that he doesn’t end up with a girlfriend, and instead ends up with a boyfriend!  And even more, the boyfriend gets Matt seriously into a balloon and clown fetish that they share with us and we get all into it as well (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Ha!  I seriously doubt all that. . . but then again?

NEXT: 283. We are three — and a wedding?!?!

269. Turn up the cuck – Whoring me out?

269

If you read my blog, you know that I have a sort of “boyfriend” in Matt.  He is Mike’s friend and former co-worker that we have known for years.  With Mike’s encouragement, Matt and I go out on dates and have sex – sometimes with Mike watching and sometimes with Mike participating.   Most recently, Mike was out of town on business and Matt stayed with me at my house for two nights.   And now Mike has “turned up the cuck.” 

EVOLVING RELATIONSHIP
My relationship with Matt has always been based on sex, but originally it was probably 50/50 on sex and friendship.  I enjoyed his company and friendship and yes, enjoyed a lot of sex.  But the relationship has evolved to be more and more sexual, maybe 90%.  Yes, I still like him as a person and enjoy his company, but we don’t do as many “friendship” things date-wise.  When we get together, it is mostly just for sex.   And that’s how Mike like’s it.  In fact, his latest edict puts us at more at 95% or even 100% sexual relationship. 

MIKE’S EDICT
Mike told me I am to be “on call” for Matt, anytime, unless Mike tells me to say no.  Simply put, I am Matt’s sex toy, ready on demand to pleasure him.  The result is that Matt has come by my house on his lunch hour for an “afternoon delight” and has twice called me to come over to his place for a quick “suck and fuck.” 

A few days ago Mike told me Matt was getting off work a little early and I was to be at his place waiting for him, naked, blindfolded, and kneeling (I have a key to his place).  Further, I was not to say a word.  I could only speak if Matt asked me something.  I complied.

Matt never said a word to me except, “You can go now.”   He entered his apartment and soon after I felt his penis on my lips.  After sucking his cock for a bit, he stood me up and fucked me against the wall, putting me back on my knees in time to cum in my mouth.  He then said I could leave and he left the room.  I never laid eyes on him.  I got dressed, and left.  

It was thrilling and exciting for me.  My thrill is in knowing Mike arranged and wanted this.  And it felt very dirty, in a naughty, taboo, exciting sort of way.   I do enjoy sex with Matt – it feels great!  But my greatest pleasure is not the orgasms, it is knowing that it gets Mike off.   And doing what I just did, knowing it was Mike’s wish — yummy!

HOW I FEEL
I feel a bit used, like a sex object, like I am not valued beyond my mouth and pussy.  But – mixed in with that, I feel excited, energized, and yes, fulfilled.   Such is the dichotomy of submission!  I am doing what Mike wants and serving to fulfill his fantasies.  It is a weird mix of emotions. 

Let’s not sugar coat it and call this what it is.  Yes, my submission has come to a point where my husband can whore me out if he wishes.  I am 100% okay with that.   I love fulfilling Mike’s fantasies of seeing me as a sexual being, fully giving myself sexually to anything he requests.  I granted this power to Mike starting in October 2015, when we added the “Sexual Obedience” clause to our Agreement (a clause that remains a part of our current Agreement).  It reads in part:

  • Mike may demand any sexual or physical act to be performed upon or by Jennifer on him or any other person at any time and Jennifer shall comply without hesitation.  Jennifer may use the next Maintenance Session to air her concerns and request any modifications or cessation of a particular act that Mike demanded.  Mike shall comply with Jennifer’s request.  

Mike frequently asks me how I am feeling about this.  You probably think I shared all sorts of concerns with him.  I only shared one.  I am concerned that being at Matt’s call could impact my performance of my Duties and Obligations as it interferes with my schedule. 

Mike told me that I should consider Matt as simply another “chore” and it was a chore to be prioritized over others.  Mike also reminded me it wasn’t “my” schedule, as my time belongs to him (boy o’ boy he really tickled my submissive spot when he said that!).

Mike was admittedly surprised that my only concern was the demands on my (his) time. I reassured him that was the case and that I would let him know if my feelings change.  I shared with him that I want him to feel free in knowing it doesn’t have to be enough for him to simply know he has this power over me is  – he can feel free to actually exercise this power.   

Even though we have been living DD for over three years, and have really adopted a more D/s dynamic over the last two, sometimes I think it helps to reassure Mike that indeed I not just accept him Dominance, but I want it and encourage it.  And as far as the Sexual Obedience clause goes, I wanted to use this opportunity to reassure him he can explore whatever desires or fantasies he has.   

To which Mike replied, “Thank you for stating that.  Hearing you say that always helps me maintain confidence in my decisions.  And, it makes me that much more excited about our upcoming Immersion.”     

Oh my!   What does he have planned?

Next: 270.  I am not dead yet!

268. When the Dom is Gone, the subs Get it On . . . . . . and a spanking

Mike was out-of-town last weekend and he invited Matt to stay at our house.  It was odd having Matt sleep in our bed.  The first night the three of us (me, Matt, Kayla) slept together.  It had been awhile since we had done this as Matt said some time ago that he only wanted to sleep with me going forward.   He was open to changing that up for special occasions.  Oh the sacrifice!  hee hee

Mike gave us two specific requirements while he was gone – 

  1. WAAA rules in effect.  Back in October we added some rules we call “When we Are Apart Activities.” “Waaa!!!!”  Cute, huh?  When Mike is traveling we will face-time just before going to bed.  I am naked, administer a self spanking, and am ready for any other instructions he may give.  The call ends with me saying my evening mantra and I am not to speak any more that night.
  2. Sex.  We were to accommodate any of Matt’s desires that were within our limits.  

Matt knows I am disciplined – but he has never witnessed it.  I asked Mike to not punish me in front of Matt.  It’s difficult to explain – it’s like my relationship with Matt is not at all about discipline and I don’t want him to be a part of/witness to it.  That part of me is part of my relationship with Mike, not Matt.  My relationship with Matt is about sex and companionship (and more sex), not discipline.  When I asked Mike not to punish me in front of Matt, his answer was, “then don’t give me reason to.”   While not the answer I sought, to be honest, his answer really tickles my submissive-spot. 

MIKE’S EXPECTATIONS
I asked Mike for his WAAA expectations regarding Matt’s presence.  Btw, the DD
Assembly on Submissive Tactics and Measures (known as the AssTM committee) gave me a special commendation for this.  As the Submissive Handbook states, “It is acceptable for submissives to make a request of their Dom to clarify intent; however, it is more thoughtful and submissive of the sub to, prior to making their own request, first ask their Dom if the Dom has any specific expectations of their submissive.”  Okay, where were we?  oh yeah…  

Mike expected to have our WAAA session but with a few modifications.  I could do it in the bathroom with the door closed but was not to make Matt leave the bedroom.  It was up to me if I wanted to explain anything to Matt.  I was also allowed to speak after our WAAA but I must text Mike with the mantra before I went to sleep and that I could not talk once I sent the text. As for the morning WAAA, I was not to speak to Matt or anyone until it was completed.  (We do have some exceptions for talking to J if J wakes up before I do).

EVENING WAAA!
It was easier to explain the WAAA to Matt instead of trying to hide it.  I told him I would be in the bathroom for the session.  Matt was sweet. He sensed I was uneasy and offered to wait in the living room until it was over.  Technically I think I could have taken him up on the offer, but I felt it wasn’t in the spirit of what Mike intended.  Mike’s statement implied he didn’t want me to inconvenience Matt in any way.  Plus, I just earned that nice commendation by ASSTM and didn’t want to risk recission… hee-hee.  I told Matt he was welcomed to stay in the bedroom.  

It was about ten or so and Matt, Kayla, and I had already had sex.  As Matt and I laid in the bed watching tv, Kayla had her WAAA session with Mike.  I paid attention to the sounds coming from the bathroom.  You couldn’t make out what was being said, but the self-spanking sounds were distinctive.  Oh well, that’s the way it had to be.  It felt a little awkward when Kayla emerged from the bedroom.  I struggled for something to say and said something like, “Come and keep the bed warm as it’s my turn now.”   

I face-timed with Mike and he had me put on nipple clamps as we talked.  I then had to insert a butt plug after I administered my self spankings.  We then continued to talk.  When we were done, I recited the mantra and we ended our call.  I removed the accouterments, washed up, and returned to the bedroom where Kayla was giving Matt a blow job.  It made for a better transition than what Kayla had.  I said something like, “Oh, goody!” and I eagerly joined in the fun!

It was probably about 1:30 before I texted Mike with the mantra.  Yeah, it was about three hours of sex!  (Mike let us stay up past our bedtime – how nice!)  It wasn’t non-stop, we all had to catch our breath here and there – but it was intense.  More on that in a bit.

MORNING WAA!
I told Matt, “Good morning.”  It quickly dawned on me I messed up.  Crap!

I didn’t say anything else and I went to the bathroom and called Mike.  I recited the mantra before saying anything else.  I confessed my screw up and Mike told me to go get Kayla.  I did so (and she recited her morning Mantra to him), and he told Kayla to spank me for my speaking to Matt before saying my mantra.  In keeping with the typical discipline I receive when it has to do with something I say, I was fully expecting our “traditional” mouth soaping.  Thankfully, Mike didn’t order it as he was satisifed with just the spanking.

It has been a long time since Kayla has spanked me as part of a real discipline session  (Post 251 was more fun than discipline).  Despite this, I had no odd feelings about it.  I guess it is because it was practical for Mike to administer it.  Also, I can close my eyes and it still feels as if Mike is doing it.  I can still feel submissive when Kayla spanks me – but it is much harder to do so when I have to spank Kayla.  Anyway – yeah, I got a pretty hard spanking, enough that I know my butt was very red.

It was another one of those conflicted feelings.  I  really didn’t like Matt seeing my spanked butt – but – having him see it was like this proclamation of my submission to Mike, which I really loved.  Matt didn’t comment and didn’t seem to go out of his way to get a good look, but I know he saw it.

BTW, while my dress code is no pants – dresses and skirts – if J is home and we have to cover due to a spanking, Mike allows us to wear shorts around the house (stay topless). J wasn’t home as he spent the weekend at T1’s and E’s (which was a very big deal and milestone for him).  Anyway, it kept us from having to play cloak and daggar regarding the condition our butts or the sleep-over guest.  

SEX
What of our sex?  Inquirying minds want to know.  Well, it was all the one-on-one and threesome combo’s that you can probably imagine.  We told Matt we were there to serve his fantasies.  We even had to break out a few of the toys!  It was a lot of fun for all of us.  Let your imagination run wild!

NEXT: 269. Turn up the cuck – Whoring me out?

261. A bit more Kayla

I left a bit of a cliffhanger with inference there is a disturbance in the DD force with Mike and I.  I will get to that in my next post – promise!  I was re-reading my prior posts and felt I left a bit out that I want to add regarding Kayla. 

HOW DOES KAYLA FIT IN TO OUR EQUITY? 
We weren’t looking for a relationship with Kayla, and it wasn’t like we were “needing” it.  But our willingness to continually put our equity into our relationship means our relationship is open to so many new and wonderful things.

To re-visit my prior analogy, our marriage is not a closed box containing the two of us, it has a door and windows, and if someone rings the doorbell, we check out who it is.  Maybe, just maybe, they get invited in.  Some temporarily, like John, Donna, and Matt.  Some..or make that one, stay indefinitely, like Kayla.

And what does it mean to have Kayla as part of my relationship with Mike….well, not just a relationship, but a marriage?

We both feel strongly connected to Kayla.  She is part of us. “Us” in my marriage is three.  I shared some of the things we have done to further “bond” her to “us.”  Here are a few more things –

SOME SIMPLE THINGS
Public displays of affection — holding hands, putting arms around each other, or even the quick little pecks on the lips.  Yeah, they happen, whether Mike and her, or me and her, or the three of us.  Pda’s can happen, but generally aren’t in our nature, so not a lot of that, but, they aren’t forbidden.  Both Mike and I try to do it a little more with Kayla, as it is a simple gesture to show her we aren’t hiding her.

It also isn’t uncommon you hear us use various terms of endearment here and there… a “luv” here, a “babe” there, or even a “sweetie” at times.  Any one of us may be directing it at any one else.  It has even been a bit funny when someone says something and throws in a “babe” and the other two are like, “which babe are you talking to?”

SOME SEXY THINGS
Of course there is also the sex.  Kayla sleeps in our bed all the time now.  Sex is an every night thing.  Sometimes it can be more Mike and Kayla or more Mike and me, or more Kayla and I…it simply is whatever it evolves to be for the night.  I do love watching the two of them.  There are times I tell Mike I am fine with just the two of them having sex and I will just watch and masturbate.

We still have our one night a week alone with Mike.  Kayla or I sleep in the guest room on alternate weeks on the nights the other one has their date night with Mike.  Mike occasionally gives Kayla and I our own night out as well and he sleeps in the guest room.  It’s nice we all get to pair up and have our own one-on-one time.  We also all three go out on occasion when we have someone to stay with J.

SOME FURNITURE THINGS
And as part of her moving her things into our room, we went shopping this week for new sheets and bedspread and we let her pick it out.  We also got a new dresser that better compliments our decor so that Kayla could move all of her stuff into our room.  Another little thing we did is that instead of  “Kayla’s dresser” and “Jen’s dresser,” we alternated the drawers such that some of our stuff is in each dresser.  No “her’s” and “mine.”

Lastly we made room for her knick-knacks and some pictures.  Overall the feel is probably still a bit more Mike’s and I age, but it clearly has a Kayla touch.

SOME D/s THINGS
I find happiness in Kayla’s happiness and in all her
growth and happiness our relationship has brought her.   Further, I am so proud of Mike of finding it within himself to be able to give Kayla what she needs and desires – even when those things differ from what I need and desire.  It can’t be easy to deal with two women who have different needs – but it sure helps when, in our case, the two women share a #1 need of pleasing him.

Their D/s has continued to evolve and has a lot more M/s elements to it.  I joke that Kayla doesn’t breath without Mike’s permission.  That’s an obvious overstatement, but, there isn’t much she can do without his permission or command.  From speaking when he is around, to eating, to using the restroom – you can pretty much name it.  

EQUITY IN OUR MARRIAGE
Overall our “open” marriage means we were open to all the things that we have subsequently experienced since adopting DD. 

  • Open to people – obviously the deep relationship with Kayla, and the sexual/friendship relationships with John, Donna, and Matt. 
  • Open to life –  Our recent adoption of nudism is a good example of us finding something we weren’t even looking for.

EQUITY FOR KAYLA?
How does Kayla feel about her relationship with Mike and I?  I shared that she is happy and fulfilled, but what specifically does she find fulfilling.  I asked her.

In Mike – she admits there is a bit of a fulfilling father-figure to him.  His intense interest in who she is and how she feels, and his eagerness, not just willingness, to focus on her needs.  She felt these things even when she was a little girl, and those feelings ended up serving as the foundation for her puppy love to become amorous and more.

She loves serving him, and craves his approval.  At first it devastated her when he disapproved of something (punished her).  That’s why she use to be a big crier.  But she quickly learned that the thrill of doing better, serving him better, and being the person she desires to be, all make the punishments worth it.  She learned they didn’t mark a failure as much as mark an opportunity. 

She still tends to be a bit of crier, but she says her tears are different.  They are often out of immense thankfulness and joy.  A recognition that she is worthy of his guidance, expectations, and love.  I know that phrase probably sickens those who are unfamiliar with DD or D/s.  But I completely understand why she feels that way. 

In me – Kayla also admits I serve a a bit of a mother figure to her, more so than she says Mike serves as a father figure.  Probably because she feels a bit closer to her own father than her own mother.   Kayla says she yearned for a mother figure. Someone to show pride when she did well, give unconditional acceptance, even when she did “dumb shit” as she puts it.  Someone who cares when she suffered and who not only made efforts to help her feel better, but whose efforts actually succeeded in doing so.

Yeah, basically all the stuff a mom would do, she said she got that from me. And like with Mike, those things preceded our “adult’ relationship.  We were those things to her when she was 11, 12, 13, etc.  Again, all serving as a foundation for a love that eventually turned amorous.      

And just to clarify, Kayla said while she feels “let down” by her parents, they were not abusive in the typical meaning of the word.  Numb, not caring, not nurturing, yes – so she feels fortunate they were not abusive other than the abuse of disinterest.

WHAT NEXT?
Who knows what’s next…or even if there is a next.  But whether or not there is, or whatever it may be, I know we are receptive to exploration – so much so that if only one of us wants to explore, they are free to do so, without the others.

I believe the roles, responsibilities, and relationships that Mike and I have, with each other and with others, is highly equitable.  But, what if Mike or I wanted something that wasn’t equitable?   See that?  A nice segue into what I alluded to in the prior post regarding DD sympatico. . .  Next post, I promise!

249. Sometimes Reminders don’t have to be Spankings

249

About a year ago Mike and I added to our regular Sunday sessions by holding a second weekly Maintenance Session on Thursdays.   It was the result of my need for some added focus after a string of submissive fails.  What started as temporary, became permanent and we added them to our latest contract.

Mike asked me how I felt about changing the focus of the Thursday sessions as it seemed to him they served their intended purpose and perhaps weren’t needed.  I agreed they were no longer influencing my focus, which has been consistently strong and I asked what he had in mind as I would hope we would continue to have this second touch point — and I don’t mean the cane touching my butt, I mean Mike and I discussing our D/s, hee hee.   

UPDATED THURSDAY MAINTENANCE
The end result is Mike decided to change our Thursday sessions, for now.  I will no longer be caned to start and open the session, and my “unsubmissive” journal, where I write down unsubmissive thoughts, will be part of my normal journal and reviewed at our Sunday session.  

Instead, he wants to use this time for a “family” meeting with both Kayla and I.  This gives us a scheduled time to focus on our collective relationship – discuss how things were going, how we were feeling, and just keep us all collectively in sync.

I love this idea.  We kind of do this already at night, but only in short bites and not always consistently.  Some times you just want to have sex and go to sleep and don’t want to discuss concerns or stresses or be a downer to end the day.  These Thursday sessions will be great.  I just didn’t realize how great!

OUR FIRST NEW THURSDAY MAINTENANCE SESSION
Kayla and I undressed and Mike remained clothed, as is customary for a Maintenance.
There wasn’t the customary spanking that begins our sessions.  He had two chairs arranged facing the chair he would sit in.  The three of us sat down.  Kayla and I weren’t certain what to expect since this was new to all of us.  It quickly became clear that Mike new what he expected.

We were both sitting in front of him and Mike said, “I want the two of you to follow the instructions I am going to give you.  Don’t do anything other than what I ask. Understood?.”

“Yes, Sir,” we said in unison. 

SO.  LET’s TALK.
Mike calmly said, “Kayla, kiss Jen.  No, don’t put your hand on her, just reach over and give her a kiss on her lips.”   

“Again.”  

“Now Jen, kiss Kayla. . . one more time.  Okay.  Now, I want you start kissing each other, a really good make out session, keep your arms down to your sides.”

Kayla, slide your hand between your legs and start playing with yourself.   Jen, I want you to play with one of your boobs, squeezing and rubbing it.”

“Now Jen, pinch a nipple and pull as far as you can until it snaps out between your fingers.   Again.  Now keep playing with it”.

“Now stop kissing but Kayla keep playing with your pussy and Jen keep rubbing your breast and playing with your nipple.  Both of you keep your free hand down to your side and I want your eyes staring at me.”

Kayla, if your finger is good and wet, bring your finger up to Jen’s mouth and let her lick it.  Let her lick it really good then put it back in your pussy and get it wet again and feed it to her again.”

“Jen, scoot your butt to the end of the chair and spread your legs.  Kayla, get up and kneel down in front of her on all fours and lick her pussy – and keep fingering yourself.

Mike got undressed and got behind Kayla and entered her from behind as she continued to lick me.  After a couple of minutes Mike withdrew and ordered Kayla to get on the bed and lay on her back.   He had me stand on one side of the bed as he stood on the other, both of us looking down at Kayla.

“Kayla, keep masturbating however you want, using both hands.”

We stood and watched her for while, then Mike called me over towards him and told me to get on my knees and suck him while he continued to watch Kayla.  At some point he told me to get up.  “Look at Kayla, she is playing with her pussy and her ass hole.  I want you to switch places with her and you play with both holes.  Kayla, get over here and suck me.”

“Both you keep doing what you are doing but neither of you take your eyes of me.”

Kayla was near climax.  I’ve told you before that she can orgasm just giving head. It was clear she was close.

Kayla, stop sucking.”  He then positioned m so my legs hung over the side of the bed as my back was still laying on the bed.  He spread my legs and entered me and told Kayla to climb on the bed and sit across my face so I could eat her pussy. 

I wouldn’t say we came in unison, but it was close.  Kayla first, then me, then Mike.  Mike then told Kayla to knee on the floor where he was just standing over me and get on her knees and lick me clean.  Having just cum, I could hardly stand it.

Mike got dressed and told Kayla to keep going at my pussy.  He went and got one of the vibrators and put it on my clit as Kayla licked below it and inside me.  It wasn’t long before I had another orgasm. 

Mike told Kayla to stop and to have a seat back where she first was sitting.  He gave me about a minute to catch my breath, and then told me to have a seat. 

As if nothing just happened, Mike calmly said, “So.  Let’s talk,” 

ACTUAL TALKING
We proceeded to discuss the weeks events, upcoming plans, how we were feeling about submission, our relationship, life in general.  How school and social life was going for Kayla, what our collective thoughts were on Matt, nudism, you name it.   Very nice discussion, but not as nice as what led up to it!

Neither Kayla nor I asked what that was about.  We knew what it was about.  It was about his Dominance and our submission. 

Sometimes reminders don’t have to be spankings!

Next: 250. The Nude Normal