229. Heading to Splitsville?

Drama alert!  I know I often paint a picture that we have achieved some nirvana in my household.  Poly-bliss, D/s perfection!  Of course not!  As I recently wrote, we are human and thus subject to normal human frailty.

We’ve hit a little bump involving Kayla and her boyfriend, Michaud.  I wrote before that Kayla asked us to allow Mike in our “circle of trust.”  (our nickname for those with whom we engage with sexually, currently consisting of the three of us, John, Donna, and most recently, Matt).  I won’t rehash our concerns (you can read the post), but Mike told Kayla no; but left it open for the future if we could get to know him better. 

In the last month we have been able to get to better know Michaud.  He is nice – good boyfriend material for Kayla.  But that is different from “circle of trust” material.   He just doesn’t seem comfortable with it all – which is totally understandable. 

The frustrating part to me was that he would say he was “good with it” but I just didn’t feel it, nor did Mike.   It feels like Michaud is going through the motions, trying to say the “right” things, but really isn’t happy.  Not just unhappy with thoughts of our “circle,” but unhappy with his relationship with Kayla.  

I can be very direct and would ask him very blunt questions, but frankly, Mike asked him way tougher questions than I did.   But Kayla got annoyed at me for “intimidating” Michaud.  That’s never my intent, but if honest intimidates (and it does!), then I am guilty.

I believe it serves no useful purpose to minimize what it is we are considering here.  It is serious stuff, at least to Mike and I.   If it is going to sour, then it needs to be now, not later.   There is no benefit of putting lipstick on the pig and calling it something it isn’t.  He needs to be honest with us and with himself.  

Before Kayla brought any of this up to Michaud, we warned her of what might happen if we “rejected” him.   And it isn’t like we are rejecting him – we are still evaluating him.  Kayla finds it easier to blame me that his “evaluation” isn’t going well.   

THE METAMOUR – POLY PLOT THICKENS
Adding to this is that Michaud has started dating another girl – with Kayla’s full knowledge and consent (and initial encouragement).  Thus the growing complexity of metamours!

We will call her “X.” 

X is aware of Kayla and they have met several times.  Kayla’s take on X is that she is intrigued because it is “trendy” to date someone who is dating someone else. But she feels X doesn’t have the right heart or mindset for poly. 

X is putting a lot of pressure on Michaud to spend more time with her and less with Kayla.  And Kayla feels X is trying to get Michaud to dump her.  Of course, Michaud says that isn’t true, thus Kayla feels like he is calling her paranoid.  Adding to that, Kayla then feels Michaud is purposely ignoring X’s subterfuge, making her angry at Michaud.   

The appearance of X makes the timing of Kayla’s request suspect.  I accept Kayla’s word that these aren’t connected, but I also know sometimes our motivations aren’t always apparently to ourselves.  Would she be asking for his inclusion had he not found a second girlfriend?  X has made it clear she isn’t quite comfortable with this poly-thing, so having Michaud in our circle clearly has implications for his relationship with X.   It’s just all to potentially messing — that is not the right foundation for admittance into our circle?  Nope!  No way! 

Then, Kayla has said Michaud is getting more annoyed with her whenever she has other obligations, especially with us/Mike.   Michaud got very annoyed with her when Kayla shared the nude resort plans with him.  His reaction made her feel badly such that she asked Mike if she could invite him and they would get their own room.  Mike agreed, thinking perhaps it would be a good step towards us getting more comfortable with him.

Ultimately it made things worse.  Michaud said no.  He was not only upset that Kayla didn’t invite him to start with, but that she had to get Mike’s permission to do so.  And there it was.  It is becoming clear that Kayla’s relationship with Mike is wearing on Michaud.

There’s more examples of this – but simply, currently Michaud can not be in our “circle,” but more so, maybe he isn’t prepared to continue his relationship with Kayla. 

Neither Kayla nor Michaud are ready to admit that things are untenable.  It frustrates me a bit because to me it is very clear and they are just being dishonest with themselves.  Deep down they both see it, they just aren’t ready to admit it yet.  So instead of moving on, they are becoming increasingly passive aggressive with each other.  

Of course, Kayla doesn’t want to hear it from me.  It is easier for her to just blame me for the strain with Michaud.  I don’t like it, but that’s okay.  She knows she can feel safe in blaming me as it won’t change my love for her.   She will realize it soon enough and end things with Michaud (if he doesn’t end it first).  And she might blame me for a bit, but I believe she will soon see I had nothing to do with it. 

Adding to her feelings of acrimony towards me is that Mike actually spanked her for how she was treating me.  She got very disrespectful in one of our conversations.  Of course, she blamed me for that too.  I recognize it is easier for Kayla to blame me than it is for her to blame herself, Michaud, or Mike.  I am the safe one to blame.  I’ll accept that for now.  

My preference would be for them to realize that they give each other a lot of joy and fulfillment and thus cherish their moments together and look for more opportunities to express their love for each other.  BUT — only if that is actually how they feel.  Frankly, I don’t think it is and they just won’t admit it yet.  But their realization of it is coming soon!

Next: 230. My Happiness Formula

139. A very Adults-only Party

The three of us attended a party at John and Donna’s last night that I refer to as a “Fetlife” party as it included couples that John and Donna met via Fetlife.  There were four other couples as they wanted to keep it small and only include those they knew fairly well.   With us included, there were 13 people – we were the only 3some and all the other couples with male/female couples.  

I am not sure what details would be of interest, but I’ll do my best to provide enough insight that you can get a sense of the atmosphere.  It was sexually charged to say the least.  Also, if you are new to my blog, attending such parties is not the norm for us.  

KAYLA WELCOMES THE GUESTS
We went early to help John and Donna prepare.  When it was time for guest to start arriving, Mike and John moved a bench from their outside patio to just inside the front door entry way.  Kayla was tied to the bench, naked except for her collar, and facing forward with her arms and legs both spread out.  Kayla is very limber and her legs were positioned almost in the splits – one leg tied far to the right and one far to the left.   Mike tacked up a small sign that said, “Touching by hand is allowed.”  As we saw the first couple pull up in their car, they put a blindfold on Kayla and she was told not to speak to anyone.

As each couple arrived we greeted them at the door and introduced ourselves.  As they walked past Kayla, Mike said, “Oh, she’s some decoration and entertainment to help with the mood.”   They all smiled and a couple of the men and one of the women took the opportunity to squeeze Kayla’s breast as they walked by.  One lightly stroked her cheek, and whispered, “Lovely.”   Another, that I’ll call Rudy, grabbed her chin between his thumb and forefinger and moved her head to the left and right, as if to inspect her face. He didn’t say anything but had this look of agreement about him, as if what he saw met to his satisfaction.   More on Rudy later. 

RULES AND DRESS
Once everyone arrived John and Donna made an announcement, sort of a reading of the rules.   John basically just said, “Everyone is free to do anything that was consensual and may the festivities begin.”  Each couple then began changing from their street clothes to their “party” clothes.  

There were all sorts of  kinky outfit.  All the women either had their breasts fully exposed or visible through something very sheer.  A couple of the women wore collars.
Some of the men had get-ups as well – one with his cock exposed, another with a cod piece that you could open and close via a zipper, one in this super tight leather shorts.
One of the other men, along with John and Mike, remained in their “street” clothes.  So lame!  Ha.

I had brought what I call my “breast harness.”  You wear it like a bra but it is cupless and has straps that go around the breast.  You can tighten the straps depending how hard you want to squeeze the breasts.  Mike tightly adjusted it such that I knew my breasts would eventually be a bit purple in about ten minutes.  As for pants, I wore a very small mini skirt, no panties.  

SOCIALLY SEXUAL
The socializing gravitated towards the living room and kitchen area, away from the entry way, so Mike untied Kayla and walked her to the kitchen while she remained blindfolded.  He had her lay out on top of the kitchen table with her back on the table. He tied her down and again he told people they were free to touch the “centerpiece.” 

We got to know each of the couples and found they all were in some sort of D/s, M/s relationship with the woman as the submissive.  All but one couple were married.  One of the women was kept on a leash and had to walk on all fours next to their husband and then kneel next to him whenever he stopped to talk to people.  She did not speak unless he gave her permission to do so.  

A few of us sat around the kitchen table talking, and one of the men told their wife to finger Kayla.   The man, I’ll call Jim, saw the look I gave Mike and he asked Mike, “That is okay, isn’t it?”   Mike looked at me as if I was being disobedient and he said, “Yes, I said you can touch, so yes, your wife or anyone can touch.”

With that the woman, who I’ll call Jane,  started playing with Kayla’s pussy and was soon fingering her.  It was hard to read Kayla’s reaction due to the blindfold, but her  pursed lips told me she was enjoying it.  Eventually Jim asked, “So Mike, I know your sign said touching by hand was okay, what about by if Jane uses her tongue?”   Mike told him that would be fine.  With that, Jane began licking Kayla’s pussy.  Jane was kneeling on the chair and bent over so she could reach Kayla’s tender parts.  As she was going at Kayla, Jim started rubbing Jane’s breasts.  Mike looked over and said, “Jim, can Jen touch Jane?” And with Jim’s approval, I slid my fingers between Jane’s legs.

Jane stopped once Kayla orgasmed, but now she was highly aroused.  She asked Mike and I if we all wanted to fuck.  I simply said I would do anything Mike wished.  Mike actually told them no, that while we were open to playing to a certain degree, for now we want to hold off on fucking. Jane then said, “How about I eat out Jen while my husband fucks me?”   Mike agreed, and with that, Jane got on all fours, buried her face between my legs as I sat in the chair, and her husband entered her from behind.

After everyone was done cumming, we simply talked some more, as if what happened was normal.  As if we just finished an intense card game and went back to idle chit-chat.  I am fully aware these sexcapades are not normal, but abnormal in that they are unusual or not the norm, not because they are abhorrent in any way.  To me this is all very natural.  Being sexually open and comfortable with sex is exciting, natural, and comfortable to me.  And no one we met was judgmental about anyone else’s limits.   We openly talked about what our limits were, whether talking about limits for this party or limits in general.  It was so cool that everyone was confident in their own kink, and not judgmental of the kink of others.  

RIGGED CONTEST
In between various couples having sex, and some couples swapping with each other, John announced a little entertainment.  He had Donna got completely naked, which meant just removing what little she was wearing, and he performed a full body flogging for everyone to watch.  Then, Rudy challenged everyone in the room with, “I’ll put up $100 to go against anyone to see who can make their wife’s ass the darkest red or purple in 30 seconds, winner takes the money and gets to fuck any or all of the losing asses. John and Jim both took him up on the bet.  Mike and two other men declined, but of course we all watched!  

They each put up $100, so the winner got $300 and the “right” to perform anal on any or all of the women who lost.  Other rules were established such that only one implement could be used for the 30 seconds and, the winner would of course use a condom.   Well, Rudy won, but we all smelled a set up.  But in a jovial way, no hard feelings.   

He brought is own paddle that was this homemade paddle that had a few holes along with a couple of pieces of metal that were  attached to it.  The metal had many small raised bumps on it.   In 30 seconds his wife was by far the most bruised and even little bits of blood coming from where the metal bumps hit.   I talked with the woman afterwards and she loved it and said this sort of bet has been a routine of theirs at parties and she almost never loses.   In hindsight, they should have required the spankings to be by hand.  Oh well, at least Mike wasn’t out the $100 and I didn’t have to “service” Rudy.  

So, Rudy got $100 each from John and Jim, and of course, was eager to claim his other prize.  Donna and Jane each got on all fours and he affixed a condom and “claimed his prize.”  As a side note – Rudy had an averaged size dick, but it had this sharp right bend to it, so I imagine it felt it a bit strange.  I wanted to nickname him “Maui” after the character in Moana.  Rudy’s dick reminded me of Maui’s giant magical fish-hook.  Clearly an exaggeration on my part, but still, I saw a resemblance.  (I hope I didn’t ruin a great Disney movie for any of you.  You just might never look at Maui’s fish-hook the same way).

MISCELLANEOUS DEBAUCHERY
There was more fun and debauchery but mostly Mike and I were observers.  I touched a few breasts and gave a few hand-jobs.   All this time Kayla was left on the table.  As the party was nearing the end point, Mike untied Kayla and while keeping her blindfold on, had me dress her with something he had brought for her to wear.  It was her cupless bustier with a sheer, g-string bottom.  Mike then walked her to the middle of the room, removed her blindfold, and formally introduced her to everyone.  Everyone clapped in thanks for her “display” during the party.   Kayla smiled and it wasn’t long before some of the couples propositioned her.  Each time Mike said no, that we were all more in an observation mode, with the few exceptions I already mentioned.   

PARTY’S OVER
The party ended and the last guest left.  Overall it was really fun and I have no complaints.  With a few exceptions Mike seemed very cautious throughout and when he questioned us about what we thought, Kayla expressed that she wanted to explore with some of the other couples if we were to do this again.   Mike then explained why he chose to be cautious and Kayla also shared a revelation she had about herself as a result of the party.  I’ll share those two items on my next post.  

NEXT:  140. Post Party Analysis and Revelation