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145. Another spanking / Immersion Preview

145Slippers

My M/s immersion is coming soon.  Exact date TBD as still coordinating with my parents.  That didn’t sound right.  I am not, of course, coordinating our M/s immersion with them – just the dates they will have my son staying with them.  My sister and her husband are also staying with my parents, as are her kids.  She’ll be a great help with my son as my parents are getting up there in age and the needs of my son can require a lot of physical and emotional energy.

Mike has shared a few things he has planned for us but is keeping a lot of it under wraps.  He wants to keep a “shock and awe” aspect to having to do the unexpected.  Oh my!

This led to another spanking!  I am beginning to think my Thursday canings/mini-Maintenance Sessions are unnecessary.  Mike calls those sessions at his discretion but has called them every week, (including tonight! – ouch!) since we began them about four weeks ago.   The purpose is to provide me added focus and release.  I’ve shared before that when I’ve gone a long period of time without a spanking I’ve actually asked Mike to give me one, “just because.”  He thought having these extra sessions would help.  I agree that they do, but only when I’ve been punishment-free for a while.   Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case lately but Mike has still called for these extra sessions.  I may ask him about that during our formal Sunday sessions.  

The recent string of punishments have had more to do with my thinking than they do with specific actions.  That’s consistent with the evolution of my submission that I shared in Post 143.   There was the spanking I just shared in my prior post, and also the one in Post 142.  There have been a few others.  

It isn’t all spankings and punishment.  There is plenty of dialogue too.  We have both talked about what it means to us to have me surrender my thoughts to him.  It is a delicate balance.  Neither of us intend for me to lose who I am.  I have a brain and I will use it.  Our intent is for me to not only be more outwardly focused on Mike and his needs and desires, but also to be more internally focuses on him regarding my internal “monologue.”   That’s an extremely submissive state of mind.  

I feel I have achieved the level of submission that we both desire regarding various acts of service (sexual and otherwise).   Other than our Immersion fun, I don’t crave more acts of service, nor does Mike.  We are aligned and in balance on that, which is a great and fortunate thing to achieve and something I do not take for granted.

What I am now craving is to purge certain thoughts I have.  Okay, purge may be unrealistic — but at least lessen the frequency of certain thoughts.  Thoughts that lead to actions.  Actions which are at the core of the Duties and Obligations that I not only imposed on myself, but also those that are important to Mike.  

I don’t know how long it will take to get to the state of mind I am looking for, but I think I am moving along that path very quickly.  Maybe more than half way already?  I don’t know.  Much of it was simply an awareness.  Now that I am aware, I am more in tune and deliberate in my thinking.  While some “wrong” thoughts crop up, I typically squash them in nanoseconds.  Plus, I find they are cropping up less often.   The best way I could put it is that my default thinking is becoming submissive and focused on Mike.  Before, I would frequently have non-submissive thoughts that I had to think through and “defeat” in order to act submissive.  It’s like retraining my mind, such that submissiveness is a reflex and doesn’t require thought.  

THE SPANKING
My latest punishment was when I told Mike that I wasn’t planning on blogging about certain aspects of our immersion because my sisters might read it.  Mike spanked me because he said my thinking was a violation of my Self-Care clause in our Contract.  He used a pair of slippers, which is actually a first for us.  When he started I thought, “Well, that doesn’t feel like much” but I learned even slippers can pack a whollup if used hard enough and with enough strikes.  Yep, a very red bottom indeed!

While not an explicit violation, he said it clearly violated the spirit and intent of that clause.  He said, “You are being Rewarded because you were going to sacrifice something that gives you joy because of your desire to share certain things with your sisters.  I will not allow you to set a precedent and start censoring your blog because of concerns about what they think.  You said you weren’t concerned about them thinking anything negative, so either you were being dishonest with yourself and me, or your weren’t. Either way, you will share those things in your blog and you will be spanked.”    

In hindsight, I don’t regret  telling my sisters about TTWD, but perhaps I shouldn’t have told them about my blog!  Mike also reminded me what he said back when he agreed to allow me to “come out” to my sisters.  He was prophetic in that at that time he said there is no way to anticipate all the implications and once out, there was no un-telling them.

It is unnecessary for me to worry about what my sisters will think.  For one, I’ve shared a lot of things that would be major embarrassments for most people to share with their siblings.  In addition, my relationship with my sisters is unbreakable.   We already share so much with each other and there is no judgement, only love.  So with that, here are things Mike has shared with me and Kayla about some of the things he has planned for us.

IMMERSION PLANS
Full Body Flog

He said that there would be a day of extended flogging, spanking, and other punishments.  He said while there would be the requisite focus on our butt and breasts, he was going to also focus on things we typically don’t include — thighs, back, stomach, legs, palms, feet, and yes, the pussy.  

Jen’s “Special” Day 
One of the days I will basically be an “animal” for the day.  I must not speak, must only walk on all fours, eat out of bowls, etc.  He is allowing me to use a straw to drink from — it’s hard for humans to lap up liquids.  Our tongues just aren’t designed for that.  The more undignified part of it is not being able to use the bathroom.  He has designed a sort of large litter box for me to us.   Oh the joy.  . . NOT.   Kayla will assist in any necessary hygiene issues.

Kayla’s “Special” Day
For one of the days Kayla will basically be a “baby” for a day.  No speaking, must crawl to move around, must be fed by others, and she will be diapered and not allowed to use the bathroom.   An exploration of DDlg / ABDL.   Not to mention what I shared before about the pursuit of her “gang bang” fantasy.  I know that is a harsh word, but it is the word she actually uses, so, that’s how we refer to it. 

Other Stuff
He said we will not be allowed to wear a bra or panties when we go out.  He actually has a particular sun dress in mind for each of us to wear.  The fit is such that the ta-ta’s and the vajay-jay are well covered as long as we stay aware of the position of our bodies.  Lean too far one way or the other, or bend over, and, well, someone is in for a show. Going bra-less is less of an issue for Kayla, whose perky breasts do a good job of standing up on their own, but for my 3-kids later droopers, it is very obvious when I am not wearing a bra.  

Some of the less salacious ignominious activities are a “zero tolerance” on non-submissive behaviors.   He is already pretty strict on this but, as he puts it, he normally doesn’t go looking for reasons to punish us.  He will during the immersion.  

The examples he gave were things like making sure we immediately stop what we are doing when he is talking and make eye contact with him throughout.  Another is showing that we are enthusiastic about what he says and asks of us and that we are ensuring he is comfortable and doesn’t need anything (sexual or otherwise).  A new thing he added, which I find interesting, is that when we do speak to him he wants us to touch him.  Not sexually – it could just be touching his arm or back.  He said, “no talking to me unless you have physical contact with me in some way.”   He said the only exception is if we are restrained or have been told not to move.   This sounds like a fun challenge.  See, not everything involves a punishment or sex!

Those things are just SOME of what he has planned.  Last year was both physically and mentally challenging and it sounds like this year will be no different.  Who would have thunk it back when I first had this “idea” to pursue domestic discipline!  Oh the places we go! 

Our immersion will start in four to ten days.  Still working on the firm date.  Like last year, I might not be posting during it but at least I’ll have some fresh material to share when it’s done.        

NEXT: Post 146.  Slow Down!

 

65. Full Body Flog

Rush

This last weekend Mike and I got together again with John and Donna. I don’t feel like going into all the details. I can only write so much about who stuck what where. Suffice to say we had lots of sex – Mike with Donna, John with me, Donna with me. I am really enjoying it and look forward to the next time we can get together. It is such a new experience for me and I can’t describe the thrill I get from it. I am sure it is shocking to people who would never consider such a thing.  I will share this – I have a new ultimate favorite sexual position. It is when I am leaning on a chair, just bent over enough so John can enter me from behind, and Donna is standing behind the chair leaning over a bit as well. She and I are able to kiss and fondle each other, and Mike is just behind Donna, inside her from behind as well. Mike can lean over and get in on the kiss-fest with Donna and I, and I can look into Donna’s eyes and Mike’s eyes as my body bounces to the rhythm of John going in and out me and Donna’s bounces to the rhythm of Mike entering and exiting her. Yummy – check the box on that fantasy!

I’d rather talk about my Domestic Discipline and my journey towards being a highly submissive wife. It is also a journey of Mike becoming a highly dominant husband.   Neither of these journeys come naturally to us, but we are both thriving as we continue to find our boundaries. We are closer than ever and our mutual admiration and love for each other continues to deepen. I think that is the wrong way to put it. It has always been deep, we just now demonstrate it in a deeper, more meaningful way.  You can’t measure the feeling of love – there is no number you can put on it to measure it. But you can experience the love through how that love is demonstrated. Our DD journey and foray into D/s has caused us to demonstrate that love in amazing ways. Trust. Caring. Respect. Joy. Whatever words that make up this thing called love, we are feeling and demonstrating them every moment of the day.

I continue to have high energy to accomplish the tasks of the day. I find myself yearning for when Mike can be home or off of work. Having so much to do helps the time go by faster. I haven’t felt like that since we were newlyweds. I continue to want to give him more of me and give him anything and everything he desires. Mike has continued to be strict with me and I am loving it.

On Sunday we tried something new at my Maintenance Session. After watching Donna’s flogging session, I wanted to try it. I asked Mike for a new toy, a flogger, and until it arrives we borrowed John and Donna’s. On Sunday, to wrap up our Maintenance Session John flogged me, all over from the neck down, front and back. It was exquisite!   Now Mike didn’t use nearly the force that John does with Donna, which was fine by me. It was mainly very light, just repeated light strokes. I’ve had my tits and palms slapped as part of punishment, but that’s been rare as the vast majority of time my physical punishments are to my ass. The sensation of the flogger was amazing and a different feeling for each part of the body. It was a sensory explosion. It felt wonderful across my breasts, but also felt good across my stomach and back. Mike went very gentle on my pussy but it was still just enough to send waves of pain-pleasure with each swipe. My thighs were the most sensitive and thus they were the least pleasurable. Overall it was like a full body massage, except with a whip. Hee hee. Not a whip, a flogger.  While it was not as relaxing as a massage, there was still this high from the endorphin rush and unlike a spanking, this rush continued for some time as it probably took over 20 minutes for Mike to finish the full body flog (Ha – if I made my own hot sauce I’d call it Full Body Flog – or maybe that’s a better name for a beer? )  Anyways, then when it ended there was a calm, peaceful feeling as the endorphin high subsided.   In my backstory I said I was self-empowered, and that I was responsible for making my life happen. No man, no drugs, just me. Well, little did I know that some of my greatest fulfillment has been from submitting to Mike and satisfying my endorphin cravings.  (Hey, could that craving be part of my ice chewing issue?).

At least it is a natural high!

58. Sex with Donna . . . What did I forget?

Those of you who only know me by my latest posts are getting a heavy dose of sexual adventure. That definitely reflects my life over the last two to three weeks. Don’t forget though that to me, I am a typical housewife, with typical challenges and demands in life. I just have an atypical way of addressing them. And through that atypical way, domestic discipline, has far surpassed my wildest dreams. I am happy, Mike is happy, there are far fewer conflicts and those that arise are quickly and completely resolved, and we are exploring many of our lifelong sexual fantasies. I feel fulfilled and feel a greater sense of purpose and value, as does Mike. This one time control-freak who thought they had it all together now really does have it all together.

So, a story about today . . . .

I had the mornings and early afternoon to myself as our son started back at school. Donna was off work today and she came over at 11, just when it was time for me to remove the plug. I was naked when she arrived as I remain naked at home until it is time to pick up my son from school. She disrobed as soon as she was in my house as we now have this rule that she and I have to be naked when entering each other’s house – assuming no other guests. When we open the door the first question we ask is, “Hi, do you have any guests?”

Fast forward about, oh, 60 seconds, maybe less. We started kissing and groping and diving right in to having sex. It was wonderful to just have each other to ourselves without the guys around.

Well, we were still going at it when Mike came home as he often does for lunch. It was quite comical as he walked into our bedroom and calmly said, “Hello Jen, hello Donna.” It was as if we were just sitting at the table enjoying some iced tea instead of naked on the bed with our faces buried in each other’s pussies. However, he then said, “Jen, you were supposed to text me when Donna comes over and Donna, you are supposed to let John know as well. We agreed you all could have sex without us, but we needed to be informed.”

Crap, I forgot, and so did Donna.

Donna texted John right away and let him know she had already been over and forgot to tell him.   A few minutes later Mike’s cell rang and it was John. They talked for a while. When the call was over Mike told me to go get “little bit.” That’s the name we have for this 12 inch oak paddle we have. He made a point to tell Donna that John said she not only needs to watch, but that she would be next. John wanted Mike to spank her.

This is new. Mike and I have both spanked and flogged her before, but as part of play, not punishment, and John was always there.   I met this with mixed emotions. Part of me thought, “What fun, we get to share a punishment!” But part of me said, “Wait, this is just between Mike and me. Do I really want him punishing someone else?”   Whatever conflict I was thinking in my head I didn’t show it. I got the paddle and brought it over to Mike. I got over his knee and he gave me some warm ups by hand, then proceeded to give me 15 with the paddle. He then had me stand up and told me to put my arms above my head and face him so I could watch him spank Donna.   He called Donna over and had Donna go over his knee.   My thought was, “not over the knee.” That is too personal, too intimate. Why not just have her bend over. It made me a little sad, and actually a little jealous, and I am not prone to jealousy.

He gave her some warm ups by hand and then 15 with the paddle.   He then said that in addition to the punishment for not informing him and John, we also would be punished for using up part of his lunch hour. He instructed both of us to stand on each side of the bed, then, keeping our legs on the floor, bend over so our chests were flat on the bed. He told us to hold each other’s hands and to look each other in the eye. He then took off his belt and gave each of us 10 very hard ones.

I was thinking, “Oh no, now the aftercare. That is very personal. That’s MY time with Mike. Plus, John and Donna have different rituals, she doesn’t appreciate what we do. This is isn’t for her. Don’t let her into our aftercare!”   All of this was going on in my mind. I didn’t actually say anything.

Mike called us both over and he hugged each of us with one arm and told us to hug as well so we were in this group hug. He had us state why were punished, however, instead of ending in the “all is forgiven” part of our Aftercare, he said, “All is forgiven with me, but there is still John who was not respected. Jen, you will go over to their house this evening so that John can spank both you and Donna, and then all is forgiven.”

Okay, now I am really freaking out inside. I was punished once before over at their house without Mike and I hated it. I didn’t like that Mike spanked Donna in such an intimate way, including her in the aftercare, and now I have to get spanked without him.   Again, I didn’t say anything.   I know I am putting a lot of meaning into all of this and I could try to rationalize it away, but it doesn’t change how I feel. There’s not much in our DD that falls under that category of, “I don’t like it one bit, but I’ll go along with it.” This falls in that category.

So, about an hour ago I went over to John and Donna’s, without Mike, and John spanked the both of us. He used this three pronged strap called a Tawse. That was new to me. I was nervous because John and Donna are more aggressive with giving/receiving pain as Donna as a bit of a masochist. Plus, from my last experience I knew the act of getting spanked just isn’t as fun when it is someone other than Mike doing it. I kept myself focused on the fact that this all was Mike’s wishes and by submitting to this I was submitting to Mike. That helped, a bit. Overall I’d say it did hurt more than Mike’s spanking earlier, but I wasn’t all that focused on it. I was more of the mindset, “just get it over with.” Emotionally I was disconnected.   I got through it and that was that. I really don’t like getting spanked by anyone but Mike.

So, I am back home now, chores all done, red ass and all. I journaled a bit and, of course, wrote this. I’ll make sure our son is gets wound down and into bed and then I have a bit of quiet time with Mike, channel surfing or whatever he wants. Then showered and in bed with lights out by 10 p.m.

Tomorrow I’ll remember to text Mike! Okay, actually, it won’t be tomorrow because Donna works. So maybe the day after! Funny that Mike and John didn’t think that a worse punishment would be to say we couldn’t see each other for one week!   I think that they would feel they would be punishing themselves as they both love the fact that Donna and I had sex.   We had to share all the details with them!   Typical guys!

My attempt to accept getting spanked by John is simply to accept that I don’t have to like it. I probably shouldn’t like it. It is a punishment, and even though Mike wasn’t doing the spanking, he is still exerting dominance by ordering me to submit. I really love that part. Regardless of my love for that part, I will strive to never have to repeat that. I will obviously share these feeling with Mike, not in an effort to make him stop this, but simply because sharing our feelings is what we do, well, for sure something that I do. And if I blog it, I am sure to talk to him about it. I don’t want him learning something from the blog that I didn’t already share with him.

By the way, Mike and John made it clear to us that when Donna and I “transgress” together, there will be dual punishments if those transgressions fall under the rules of both houses.

So be it. The life of a sub isn’t always going to be fun.

NEXT:  59.  Ice, Ice, Baby.