Tag Archives: pee

280. You can’t beat that! (a spanking story)

280

Mike is going out of town on business for a couple of days next week.  He hasn’t told us what his plans are regarding WWAA! (When We Are Apart).  Typically it is some combination of me or Kayla spending a night with John and Donna, or they stay the night at our house, or Matt stays the night or I stay a night at his place.   We shall see. 

If you’re keeping score, it’s actually been awhile since the three of us have had sex with John and Donna.  Now that it is football season, I suspect tomorrow may be an opportunity to all play together.  One thing or another has just limited our play with them the last month or two (other than Immersion when we played a lot with them). Maybe tomorrow – J is spending the weekend at his brother’s house and John and Donna are coming over for “game day.”  As in, football — and yes, sex!  

SPANKED LAST NIGHT
I got quite a spanking last night.  My butt is very sore and bruised and my boobs still are bit polka-dotty (is that word?  It is now!).  Actually, much of it looks a bit more like a rash than polka-dots, but “polka-dotty” sounds so much for fun than “rashy.”    Anyway…. so, what happened? 

DISRESPECTFUL
I was dealing with an issue with J and talking to him about it.  Mike chimed in and I took exception to what Mike said.  In hindsight what he said was very supportive of the point I was trying to make to J, but it was just a slightly different angle and a little bit different than the point I was trying to reinforce with J.   I reacted as if Mike was undermining me, not supporting me.  I snapped back at Mike, in front of J. 

Now in the history of spouses “snapping” at each other, my little snap probably ranked as a two on a scale of 1-10.  Regardless, disobedience is an absolute.  I am either obedient, or not, and I was not.  My tone and words were disrespectful. 

This occurred just as J was going to bed.  Mike sent me to my room in as subtle way as possible.  “Jen, I know you are frustrated, why don’t you go to our room and relax and I will make sure J gets to bed.”   I knew that “relax” was code for, “prepare for discipline.”  I went to the bedroom and stood in the corner awaiting his arrival. 

SOAPING
To my surprise, Mike came in after just a few minutes.  He walked me to the tub and had me stand in it.  I knew what that meant.  He lathered up a bar of soap and told me to stick out my tongue.  He rubbed the soap on my tongue and then around my lips before putting it in my mouth and telling me to bite down.  “I need to see teeth marks when I take it out.”  I was told to stand there, with my hands clasped behind my head, until he returned.   

It seemed like forever before he returned.  It was about thirty minutes which, in “soaping time” is just short of forever.   He asked me if I had ever put my arms down during that time.  I nodded as the soap was still in my mouth.   A few times I had lowered my arms just to stretch them and relax them and I returned them to position as quickly as possible.   He told me I just earned some extra spankings. 

He had a glass which he filled with water.  He took the bar out of my mouth — it had clearly visible teeth marks — and let me rinse with the water in the glass.  He then told me to kneel and as is our typical soap discipline, he peed in my mouth and I rinsed with his piss.   With a soaping it is mostly just rinse and spit, but I often am required to swallow at some point.

I still have this strange relationship with this whole pee thing.  I don’t like talking about it — I am sort of forcing myself to do so now.   Yeah I post about it here and there, but I often skip sharing most of my pee related punishments.  The idea of it is so repulsive to me.  But the reality of it just isn’t nearly as repulsive as the thought of it.   For me it is the most submissive thing that I do.  Emotionally I like the idea that I allow Mike to piss in my mouth and yes, that I often drink it.  There, I said it.  I like it.  You are probably puking about now.   Anyway, it feels good to just own it!  Let’s move on. 

A PADDLING, OR TWO, OR THREE
Mike then turned on the shower and used the wand to rinse off the drool, suds and pee that was on me.  He told me to get out and dry off as he went to our closet to choose a spanking implement.  He emerged with two different wooden paddles – a long thin one and one very wide one.  Before he paddled me, he told me to just get it all out and let’s talk about what my issue was. 

We calmly discussed it.  It was unreal just how calm the discussion was.  I wasn’t upset – at him or at myself.  I already realized that he was trying to be helpful and that I over reacted.  And I also had reconciled that my over reaction wasn’t some monumental failing on my part.  Just something that happened “in the moment” as a reflex on my part to responding to what I perceived as a threat to my “mommy authority.”   What he said to J clearly was no threat and if anything, was supportive of what I was saying.  All of this to say that my mindset was simply, “Yep, I screwed up, and I hope this discipline can influence that ‘reflex’ so that I don’t repeat my behavior. 

I even had thought about the fact that my snapping at him, while unacceptable, was very mild and illustrated how far I have come.  There was a time my retort would have been anything but mild.  I was feeling a sense of accomplishment with my DD, and fully accepted that I had earned this punishment.  Thus, I was able to discuss what happened very calmly.   It helped that Mike was also calm, which 99.9% of the time he is.   As a quick aside – he strives to make sure he disciplines me in a calm manner.  Now calm doesn’t mean he isn’t stern — he can be very stern – but he always exudes a sense of control and calm.  

We talked a bit and I apologized for my behavior.  He then had me grab my ankles and he went about spanking me, pausing from time to time to lecture me.  The spankings were very hard and I had no sense of just how many I got.  Maybe fifty, maybe more?  

He then took me the bed and had me lay on my back.  He raised my legs and had me grab a hold so that I was in a diaper position.  He spanked me some more.  This position is particularly painful as the butt is pulled tight and he can (and does) strike at  the top part of my legs just below the butt cheeks.  Again, I don’t know how many I got.  But it was plenty. 

TACK BRA
When he was done, he had me put on my tack bra plus another bra over it.  I have an older bra that is too tight to wear, and instead of getting rid of it, Mike had this idea that it was perfect for tack bra punishments.  I put it on over the tack bra, so it is even more tight.  It presses the tacks more into my skin and just adds to the overall discomfort.  I then was told to stand in the corner and he left the room.

He returned, maybe fifteen minutes or so later.  He told me to get ready for bed and that I was to leave the bra on and I could shower in the morning.  “And when you are ready, you will go to the other room and get to bed as you will be sleeping by yourself tonight.”   
Ug.  Now that hurt more than the throbbing butt or the tacks scratching and poking into my breasts.  Mike rarely imposes this is a punishment and I think I dislike this one more than anything.  While I am just in the next room, it feels so isolating – as if I have been banished and not worthy to be in anyone’s presence.  It really hurts emotionally. 

I got ready for bed and went to the spare room and laid down, ready to go to sleep as best I could with the tack bra still on.  I had never head to sleep with it on before, and in addition to the tacks, the straps were uncomfortable as they were tight around my shoulders.  Fortunately, Mike came into the room just as I was finally dozing off.  

He was naked as is normal.  He told me to sit up.  He was standing over me and as I sat up on the bed he reached around and removed both bras.   We both looked down at my breasts which were covered in tiny polka dots of redness and pock marks.   I don’t think it was his plan, but he reached out and fondled me gently, as to sooth them.   As he fondled, his thumbs rolled over my nipples several times.  As if instinct, I reached out and grabbed his cock and it quickly became hard in my hands.  This is not how my discipline typically goes.  We keep sex and discipline separate, but, it was just one of those things that neither of us planned, and neither of us wanted to stop.

So we had sex.    

When we were done, he kissed me goodnight, had me recite my Evening Mantra, and said he would see me in the morning.  He turned out the light and closed the door behind him.  I no longer felt any isolation.  I felt warm inside…maybe because I literally was, hee- hee.   That feeling of, “Yeah, it’s not my preference to sleep alone tonight, but it is the consequences of my action and of my submission, and I cherish my DD soooo much.”

This morning he was up before I was, which is rare.  He came into the bedroom and woke me.  We hugged, and “all was forgiven.”   

REFLECTION
Once again, I contrast this outcome with the pre-DD outcome.  Pre-DD my snapping would have scored a 9 or 10 snap-scale, and it would have most certainly triggered a bigger argument about semi-related and totally unrelated things.  It would not have resolved itself.  The anger would linger for days, even weeks, before finally suppressing itself waiting for the moment to rear its ugly head in the future. 

Instead.  All is truly forgiven.  Peace, reconciliation, and growth.  Personal growth and growth in our relationship and love for one another.   

You can’t beat that!  

NEXT 281: Why Domestic Discipline? Reflection

266. Domestic Discipline Throwback: A Spanking two-fer

266

It’s been about two months since I shared a spanking story  Not because I haven’t been spanked over that time, but there haven’t been many, and none that notable or different from other spankings I get. Our recent refocusing changed that.   So here are TWO spanking stories for you.

WE INTERRUPT THIS SPANKING STORY
Before I get into that, just a quick note on my blogging.  I am behind on sharing stuff and sometimes when I get behind, I just skip over things and blog about more recent stuff, forever skipping the stuff I was behind on.  I’ve been trying not to do that.  I found I start to forget whether or not I shared certain experiences.  I’ll start to reference something and then be like, “did I ever actually share that in the first place?”  I then go back looking for it and sometimes I find that I did, and sometimes I find that did not.

Anyway, I don’t want to have to do that so am trying to just cover all the things I feel are worth sharing.  I am about a week behind on stuff.   For instance, this weekend Mike is on a business trip, and Matt is spending the weekend with me at my house.  But I don’t want to blog about that until I get you caught up on a few other things.

ZERO TOLERANCE
When Mike and I discussed our drifting from our normal D/s routine, he acknowledged he had been giving me more and more warnings over actual punishments.  The result of our conversation was that he was adopting a “zero tolerance” regarding any failures in my Duties and Obligations.   He doesn’t intend to stay at “zero tolerance,” but, Mike felt it would be easier to adopt a “no warnings” mindset to get us out of our “drift.”   It didn’t take long before it was clear to me that indeed, there would be no warnings, regardless how minor the indiscretion.

Also, for some context, Kayla and I have a 10:30 p.m. bedtime and we often go to bed before Mike.  Sometimes he might send one of us to bed and one of us gets to stay up later with him, or sometimes we both get to stay up late or neither of us do.  By the way, if we do go to sleep before him, he may wake us for sex when he does come to bed.   Oh, and of course, we sleep naked.   Okay, enough of our bedtime routine.

Oh – a bit more context –  Kayla and I have a many household chores we must do.  We typically “divide and conquer” where we will split up the work.

I had just fallen asleep and was awaken to the covers being pulled off me and one hard smack to my butt.  Then I hear Mike, “Get up Jen, someone is getting a spanking.”   I managed a groggy “Yes, Sir,” unsure exactly why but alert enough to know not to delay in obeying him.

I stood up and then he asked, “Who swept the floors after dinner, you or Kayla?”   

I know I didn’t forget to sweep the floors, so what was this about?   In my half-awake state I was fortunate to still know enough to answer him clearly, without it sounding like a question.  “It was me, Sir.”

“Both of you need to make sure all the cleaning is done after dinner.  If something is missed, both of you will be punished, and to make that point clear, Kayla, you need to get out of bed and get over here.”

Kayla got up.  Mike directed me to bend over and put my hands on the bed.  He directed Kayla to come over next to him, such that Mike was to one side of me and Kayla the other.   “Kayla, you are going to watch this so that you remember that both of you need to share in the cleaning duties and both of you will share in the consequences.”

It’s been awhile since Kayla watched me get a good discipline spanking.  I don’t mind it, it’s just that it has been awhile so it felt it a bit different.  Mike already had a paddle in his hand.  He gave me a dozen or so warm ups by hand, and then came the paddle.  Ten, then another ten a bit harder, then another ten harder than the last.

In a matter of moments I went from that surreal place between sleep and wake, to the adrenaline rush of having my ass lit up.   Mike told me to get up and then told Kayla to take my place.   Mike then spanked her as he did me.

He then instructed Kayla to stand in the corner until we returned.  He then brought me out to the kitchen and showed me that I indeed did clean the floor, but, I left the dustpan out.  I had put it down on a chair and forgot it.   Wow, Mike was serious about this zero tolerance.  I put it away and we walked back to the bedroom.  He called Kayla over and we hugged and did our Closing Ceremony.  “All is forgiven.”

Normally Mike and I don’t mix sex with discipline – meaning we don’t have sex at the conclusion of a discipline session  (Mike and Kayla often do though).  But, that night I was thankful that we all ended up having sex.  I needed the relaxation of an orgasm to help get back to sleep.  Spankings can be such an adrenaline rush. 

SPANKING #2 – REMINDER SPANKINGS
I get a quick spanking anytime I leave the house – as a reminder to remain submissive in my thinking even when not home.  I was running a little late for a lunch date with a friend.  I wasn’t going to be late if I left promptly.   I went to Mike and asked for my reminder spanking.  He said he would be there in a minute.

Mike came to the room a few minutes later – much longer than I was anticipating.  I knew better than to complain or rush him, but my attitude was clearly that of, “Come on, Mike, get on with it, I’ve got to get going.”   Mike asked me, “What’s the rush?”

That was my out.  I could have recognized I was putting off an “annoyed” vibe and apologized for it.  Instead, I complained.  “I don’t want to be late, and this doesn’t have to take so long.”

Mike said, “It takes as long as I want it to take.  This spanking is going to be double.  One set as your reminder for when you are out of the house.  The other set for your reminder that when it is time for a reminder spanking, you won’t be annoyed or try to rush me.”

He took me into our bathroom as J was home and it is furthest away from the rest of the home such that noise shouldn’t be an issue.  I was already dressed to go.  I expected Mike to just have me remove my panties and bend over, as that is usual for a reminder.  But instead, he told me to completely disrobe.

Once naked, he then had me open my mouth.  He took a bar of soap, ran some water over it, and told me to stick out my tongue.  Yes, a mouth soaping.  After lathering up my tongue, I had to hold the soap bar in my mouth.  Mike then had me bend over and he gave me several warm ups, then 10 very hard ones with a thin paddle, 5 on each cheek.  Then 10 very hard ones with a wider paddle, again, 5 on each cheek.  Not satisfied with the result, he then gave me three more on each cheek, full force.  He inspected my ass, and then gave me one on each cheek, again full force.

This was not just a reminder spanking, it was a disciplinary punishment, no doubt about it.  And with all mouth soapings, when it was done, I got on my knees and Mike peed into my mouth.  I stood and swished and spit into the sink, then got back on my knees and repeated until Mike did not have to go any more.  I was then allowed to rinse with some water.   Mike hugged me, “All is forgiven.”

I got dressed.  “By the way, Jen, I don’t want you to wear panties on your lunch date.”

I removed my panties, and with one additional instruction, that I will share later, I happily left for my lunch date with my friend, albeit a bit late.    What was that instruction and who was I having lunch with?   Next post!

NEXT:  Free to Be: Seeking Domestic Discipline

247. Hey, my husband spanks me!

247

This is a continuation of my prior post… sort of.

This time I will get to some discipline experiences. 

But first, this little interlude. . . 

SYNCOPATHIC CACOPHONY
Here are things I’ve been punished for lately, sometimes in summary or detailed more greatly, but where it lacks the narrative of the swift hard whacks, I give you clear citations of the cold hard facts.  You can call me remiss for the skips of a hit of the paddle or swig of the piss, but there are times due to brevity I’ve got to use levity and enjoy the descriptions of my discipline prescriptions as I stop being so zany and start some explaining so no more hesitations. . . Read on.  And feel my sensations. 

Maybe the better word is cacaphony (uh oh, is caca a vulgar word? I hope not re #4 below). 

Here you go, with references to the section of the Contract that deals with my transgression.

TRANSGRESSION 1:  GROSS-ery DISREGARD FOR DRESS CODE

I was in the house and was not naked when required to be.

I got home with some groceries and they were in the back of the van so I couldn’t close the garage door until I had them groceries out.  This is important because I typically disrobe once I close the garage door and before I enter the house.  But since I needed to leave the garage door open, I leave my clothes on until the groceries are inside.  

I brought some groceries in and I wanted to get some of the stuff in the freezer right away.  There were still a few things in the car so I thought, “I’ll get these things put away, go get what’s in the car, then undress.”  I was putting away a few things and Kayla walked in and said she would get the last few things from the car.  Great.  I kept putting the groceries away as she brought the last items in she went back to whatever she was doing. .   I had them all put away and started on some other chores.  Maybe 10 minutes, maybe 15… Kayla walks back in and was like, “Hey, your clothed.”  Oops.  I disrobed immediately.  I had to tell on myself when Mike got home.

  • Violation of Section V.2.2.3 Attire
  • Discipline:  Mr. Creative, aka, Mike, had to defer my spanking until J was asleep that night.  He told me to get dressed as if I was going shopping and follow him out to the car (parked in our garage).  He was carrying a paddle and directed me to lay face down in the back seat and pull my skirt up and panties down.  He positioned himself in the front so that he could reach over to the back and spank me.  He gave me about 10 warm ups, and then 10 harder ones.  He then told me to pull up my panties, and follow him inside and I was to disrobe at the door.

    Once in the kitchen he directed me to take a couple of things out of the fridge and pantry and put them on the counter.  He had me bend over, hands on the counter, staring at the items – 10 swats, hard of course.  Then he had me put the food back where it belonged.

    And then we repeated.  Got dressed, went to the car, 10 swats, disrobed, back inside, put some food out on the counter, 10 swats, put the food back, and repeat a third and final time.  So 60 swats total.  Then he gave me 30 minutes of corner time in the kitchen before concluding with our closing ceremony.    

TRANSGRESSION:  MANTRA MISS
Twice over the last month I’ve messed up our mantra rule.  Before explaining the misstep, I want to add that I really love the mantras, way more than I thought.  I liked the idea from the beginning, but thought I would tire of it.  Perhaps I will, but it has been 6 months and I still love it.  It is an awesome way to start and end every day. 

One time I was in bed reading while Mike was busy at the computer and I fell asleep.  Mike didn’t wake me when he got to bed.  It is my responsibility to seek him out if I am going to bed and think I may fall asleep before he gets there.

Another time I said the mantra, which is the last thing I am to speak before going to bed, and then Mike asked me something that I answered.  It happens, and I simply repeat the mantra again.  There are times I’ve had to say it over and over as something will come up requiring me to speak.  No big deal, it happens.  But this time I failed to do that and went to sleep without reciting it again.  To be fair, I was basically asleep when Mike asked me something, so while I answered it half-awake, I quickly fell back asleep after answering him.  My brain couldn’t process that I needed to repeat the mantra.

  • Violation of Section V.2.1.5 Mantras
  • Discipline:
    It’s very discombobulating to be awaken by a spanking.  For one of these punishments, I happened to be asleep on my tummy, so Mike simply pulled back the covers and I awoke to spanks on my buttocks.  For another, I happened to be on my side.  Being the devious creative Dom that he is, he got a clothespin and clipped it to my nipple.  I didn’t wake up so he started pulling on it and clipping and unclipping it.  I woke in a dazed “WTF?” kind of state (I didn’t actually say those words).  Before I fully got my bearings he moved me over on my stomach and began spanking me.  I didn’t comprehend why as it was hard to think from both the surprise of the spanking and the grogginess of the sleep.  As this wasn’t the first time I have been awakened this way, the reasons for the spanking eventually dawned on me as the spanking progressed. 
    Spankings give me a rush of adrenaline, making it hard to go right back to sleep.  Mike remedied that.  “Now, sit down and write out the mantra 50 times.”  Yeah, that took care of the adrenaline.

TRANSGRESSION:  STRIKE WHILE THE IRONS…um, COLD?
I iron my husbands clothes.  Not just his work shirts, but his t-shirts, slacks, and shorts.  The only thing I don’t iron are his underwear and socks – I am a feminist after all!   lol.

Ironing is likely the biggest icon of the classic 1950’s misogynistic acts of service expected of housewives.  It’s funny, but my lunch bunch friends are more shocked that I iron my husbands clothes than they are that I share my husband with another woman.  Ironing evokes that strong of reaction in many women!

I enjoy it.  I love to have everything turned off so it is quiet, and just enough light so I can see what I am doing.  It is semi-meditative for me.  Working with my hands to make something nice looking and comfortable for Mike that will also be against his skin. It’s like a part of me is always touching him.  Yummy, I even like thinking about it. 

Well, maybe I had it too dark one day when I ironed, as Mike noticed a large crease in one of his shirts.  He simply pointed it out and reminded me to pay attention.  He does give me reminders sometimes versus going right to a punishment.  He then got to looking and found a few other less than perfect shirts.  “Bad day ironing, huh?  I’ll let it go, but you have to do better.”

His statement is something worth noting as it shows the evolution of our DD.   Early on in DD I would been upset over him telling me to “do better.”  Regardless his tone of voice, it sounds a bit condescending.  But now it is that sort of blunt commentary that I love.  To me, comments like that are more dominating than a spank on the butt.  And I love it when Mike shows his dominance.  It also shows I have indeed gone from DD that is mine to DD that is for me.   

At that point I avoided being disciplined, other than verbally, when he happens to notice issues with several other shirts.  Oh shirt!  Let the spanking commence.

  • Violation of Section V.2.1.4 Homemaker
  • Discipline:  Mike’s creativity was challenged since obviously branding me with the iron is a hard limit.  He gave me 10 warm ups with a paddle, then took a plastic hanger (no wire hangers!!) and tried swatting me with it.  It hurt a little bit but then it broke.  I guess they aren’t spanko tested.  He went into the closet and way in the back in the furthest corner, there was a single wire hanger.  He twisted it apart, got in into a loop, and spanked me maybe a dozen times.  It really stung but less than I thought it was going to.
  • Sensing it didn’t quite have the desired effect, he went back into the closet and came out with the iron.  He created a loop with the cord and spanked me maybe another 10 times, very hard.  Those definitely got my attention.  He has only used cords a few times and I knew it was going to hurt and going to leave some marks.  Suffice to say I now keep more lights on when I iron. Oh, and Mike told me to buy a couple of wire hangers so we can have them, just in case. 

TRANSGRESSION:  WELL &%!* TO THAT!
For someone who rarely cusses, I think this is maybe only the fourth or fifth time being disciplined for doing so.  It was never a major habit of mine, and when I have, it is usually to make light of a situation.  You know, humor!

Humor or not, it’s still cussing.  As Mike reminded me, our agreement states, “any cussing by Jennifer for any reason at any time will be deemed a failure to properly express her feelings.”  I guess I blew it when negotiating that part, because come on, sometimes it is an effective way to express something.  Oh well, our next renegotiation is a year from now, so only 12 months until I can let the expletives fly.  Ha.

By the way – a small loophole.  I can use a cuss word if I am sharing what someone else said and what they said included a cuss word.  As such, I am not expressing my feelings, but theirs.  Another caveat is if I Mike’s permission, such as here, where he gave me permission to repeat the word that earned me this punishment.

Mike took exception to my use of the word “fucking” in a recent post. I used it for humor (Post 242) so thought it would be okay. I thought wrong.

  • Violation of Section V.3.2.1 Feelings
  • Discipline:  His go-to disciplining routine for verbal related discretion is a mouth soaping.  He really lathered this one up a lot. All over my tongue and lips, and I had to bite down so there are teeth marks in the soap.  It was followed with the traditional rinsing using his pee, and after a few rinses, I had to drink the remaining pee.  He then said that since I think cussing is funny for its “shock” value, he pulled out the OH DIOS MIO (violet wand)He has only used this a few times, shocking me on my butt or breasts or on my sides. This time he had me stick out my tongue and said I was getting five shocks.  They did hurt, but as in “shock” type hurt.  The pain doesn’t last long.  But knowing that initial shock is about to hit makes it more of a psychological disciplining than physical.  Your mind is just anticipate this awful powerful shock.  It hurts, but not as much as your mind tells you it is going to hurt – and it is that anticipation that makes this such an effective discipline.

REFLECTION
There’s a few others I could share, but I think that paints a good picture.  Keep in mind these occurred over the last three months, so it really isn’t that many.  I haven’t been disciplined a lot lately – and I am not complaining.  The spankings I get at Maintenance are plenty for helping maintain my submissive mindset. 

The “today” Jenny is satisfied just ending this post here — let the punishments stand for whatever you think they stand for.  I know what they mean to me and I accept them and love that I have a relationship that allows for my husband to address my behaviors.

However, for the benefit of some readers who struggle with my acceptance of being treated this way, I will write a bit more (A bit? Since when do I ever right “a bit” more about anything?).   

SHOULD I BE PUNISHED FOR SUCH TRIVIAL THINGS?
Yes.

See, I told you it would just be a bit more

Next: 248. Secret Ingredients Revealed

213. Speedy Spanking Summations

I went through my journal and noted some spankings I received since the start of the year that are not as “epic” as the one’s I typically share.  I thought it might be of interest to see the more “mundane” things I mess up on.     

As a point of clarity, I am not diminishing their importance.  Every transgression and punishment has meaning to me.  I just feel all of them are not going to be of interest to readers nor indicate a milestone for me.   

I also want to note as far as severity of the punishment, none of them are mild or moderate — every one is high intensity.   Lately Mike has been in a habit of giving what he calls a6×6 spanking.  Six sets of six spankings, three on each cheek in very fast (and hard) succession.  He lectures in between each set and the final six are of maximum intensity.   I leave every spanking with a very red, warm, and burning butt.

They definitely are serving their purpose as a deterrent.  I’ve noticed that when I am in the corner awaiting my punishments that my mind is thinking about what is to come. This isn’t a bad thing.  It is just what it is. 

I made this recap fun (okay, fun for me) in that I looked up what part of the contract applied to the particular transgression.  

TRANSGRESSION:   left my debit card at a restaurant.
I remembered soon after leaving and doubled back and retrieved it.

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.3. Workload
  • Discipline:  Palms slapped with ruler, then  thirty minutes in the corner with a butt plug in, hands cuffed behind me, then 100 lines, and then 18 spankings by hand, 2 each for 9 errors/sloppy lines, then the “6×6” with a paddle.  Worst part – not being able to scratch an itch while in the corner! j/k, the paddle was worse!

TRANSGRESSION:  Cussing
I am not a big cusser.  It is rare, but I stubbed my toe and in pain and between my clenched teeth I let loose with “God Damn It!”  Luckily my son wasn’t around.

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.1 Feelings
  • Discipline:  Mouth soaping and 15 minutes in the corner with the bar of soap in my mouth, pee rinse and drink, and a “6×6” with the hairbrush.  In addition we had a lecture/talk about whether I was frustrated with other things that may have led to my cussing.  I couldn’t identify any, but I wanted to note this because there are times Mike will use a discipline session as an opportunity to talk WITH me, not just at me. 

TRANSGRESSION: Left a pot of stew on stove 
I had left it to cool before putting it in a container and in the fridge.  I forgot about it!

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.3. Workload and/or V.2.1.4 Homemaker
  • Discipline: Mike called me to the kitchen and gave me a “6×6” with a wooden spoon.  I was a bit apprehensive since our son was home (asleep).  It is very rare for him to ever wake up, but, you just never know.  I accepted it without hesitation but did talk to Mike about it at Maintenance.  He agreed it was not worth the risk and said he would be more discreet.  He praised me for not hesitating and not showing any signs I was put off by it, despite my apprehension.  (Remember – Thanks and Praise!

TRANSGRESSION:  Dress code violation
Hey, it’s winter and it gets cold!  I was naked, as is required when J is in school, but I put socks on because my feet were cold.  I should have asked Mike for permission.  He would have easily granted it (because he has always done so).  I just got lazy and decided not to ask him since he always says yes anyway.  Oops. 

  • Violation of Section V.2.2.3 Attire
  • Discipline:  Always looking to be creative, he took a pair of his socks (mine are too short) and wrapped a sock around each of my breasts and then tied each end of the sock tightly together – sort of homemade breast binder.  It worked surprisingly well — see, you can MacGyver your kink gear!
    He then had me get a handful of ice, clenched my fists, and I held it for 30 seconds.  That doesn’t seem like much, but try it!  He then gave me 30 seconds to pause without the ice in hand, then repeated it, another 30 second break, and then a final 30 again holding the ice — not all punishment involves impact and at least the ice was just in my hand (Post 63) LOL!  He didn’t do a 6×6 – he gave me  lots by hand over his knee.  There was no count, just lots of spanking and lecturing on remembering to ask permission.  

TRANSGRESSION:  Not showing deference to Mike
Mike and I were at John and Donna’s and in conversation I said something about “Mike asked me…”   Mike does not ask me, he instructs, demands, or tells me, things.  I am not to refer to such demands as being “asked.”   The only exception is if indeed Mike was asking me a question, such as for my opinion on something.  I can refer to that as being “asked.”  But if he is giving me something to act upon, he is not asking.   
This was a new rule that we added to our recent Contract and I anticipated it was going to be difficult for me.  In reality, it took me a few weeks to fully master it but after that, I never forgot, until this slip up. 

  • Violation of Section V 2.1.8 Deference
  • Discipline: As what has become the “standard” for things dealing with words I say or don’t say, I received a mouth soaping along with the pee rinse and drink.  As this was at John and Donna’s house and they were witness to my disobedience, they also watched the discipline.  He borrowed one of their hairbrushes  and ended it with a 6×6.  By the way, their hairbrush was more like a paddle disguised as a hair brush.  It was much harder and larger than mine.  This was all extra humbling for me because John and Donna watched.  They’ve seen me punished before, but it has been a long time.   

TRANSGRESSION:  Slouching and not being graceful. 
This is another item that is new to our Contract.  I need to be more graceful in my movements.  This was such a big challenge for me that Mike agreed to pay for classes for me.  Etiquette classes, complete with private sessions with a tutor!  I just started them two weeks ago. The classes are a bit boring, but the private sessions have been a hoot. 
Mike had been lenient on my “gracefulness” because he recognizes it is very challenging to change life long habits of how you carry your body when you walk and sit.  He would often give me reminders and I would not be punished as long as he didn’t have to persistently remind me over a short period of time.
Now that I have attended two classes and 4 private sessions, he expects me to better adhere to the things that have been covered in class and the sessions.  
Over the course of a few days last week he had to remind me several times regarding how I was walking and sitting.  He decided he had given enough reminders and discipline was in order. 

  • Violation of Sections V.2.2.4.1, V.2.2.4.2, V.2.2.4.3, Gracefulness
  • Discipline:  A straight forward old-fashioned belt spanking with my face down on the bed.  I got a 6×6 on my butt and then got several on each thigh. He then had me turn over on my back, spread my legs, and he struck me several times on my inner thigh, just missing my pussy.       

That’s it.  And that’s a lot!  Add to this the two Maintenance Sessions per week, and the “reset” (Post 204), and my butt is a bit shell-shocked.  It has been three weeks and there is still some bruising left from the New Year’s Eve spanking.    

While I admit my butt is sore, emotionally I am very upbeat.  The “reset” is over, I feel highly focused, deeply submitted, and overwhelmingly fulfilled.  I do feel I have a lot on my plate but I am very organized.  I keep a detailed calendar and leave myself little “reminder’ notes here and there.  I am not seeing a lot of repeated misbehaviors regarding the same topic.   I have no complaints . . . which is good, because my Contract requires that I shall remain joyful, scheduled, and optimized regarding my duties. Contract or not, that is my current state!

Next:  214. Nicknames: Opening our Joy Box

187. Happy Wife. Happy Life.

187

And this Happy Wife is happiest when she is serving her husband!

I am really loving my Homemaker Duties Schedule!  One of the best ideas Mike has ever had.  And thus far it has worked as he intended – it’s been a blessing, not a burden.  All my chores are broken into daily bite-sized pieces, complete with scheduled “down time” to relax.   Down time I often use for blogging, which is why I have posted so much lately.  

And the schedule is not so rigorous that I have to “Relax between 10 and 11 today.”  It is more like, “one hour of relaxing” that I fit in at some point in the day.   And Mike has been a stickler in following up with me.  He will call or text me and ask me if I’ve “done my down time” yet.  He wants to make sure I stay fulfilled, not burdened, with my duties.

And with this frequent blogging means more mundane day-to-day things to share.  That is, if you call serving your husband as a god and being disciplined for your misbehavior mundane.  Yeah, that type of mundane!   With that, here’s several updates to my “mundane” existence — 

WEIGHT
Here’s an update on my Quarterly Goals, which this quarter is to lose 18 pounds by January 17.  Just two weeks in and I am happy to report I’ve lost 3.3 pounds!  I am happy to be a little ahead of schedule as I imagine the first few pounds are easier to lose than the last few.

What is even more exciting is that I haven’t done anything too dramatic to make that happen.  So as it gets more difficult to shed the last few pounds I should be able to simply exercise more to make it happen.

I’ve cut about 250-300 calories out of my diet by doing some very simple things. I continue to only drink water.  I switched to egg whites when I want eggs.  I stopped eating muffins or pastries and just have a piece of toast instead.  I double up on my veggies.  No dessert.   Very limited snacking and always a healthy snack.  I read labels and always opt for the lower calorie, lower carb options.  And most of all, I always leave a little bit on my plate.  Just a bite or two, but I found it serves as a visual testament to my resolve.  Oh, and portion control!  Especially when eating out, which we don’t do a lot of anymore.

Added to the dietary changes is I walk 30 minutes almost every day.  I plan to up this to daily soon.  I also jump rope at least 20 minutes every other day and again, plan to up this to daily soon.   Jumping rope is fun with you don’t have heavy clamps on your nipples, hee-hee (Post 35. Calisthenics of Doom)  

TESTING MY WILL FOR GRACE
Hee hee, see what I did there… Will For Grace.. Will and Grace.   No?  Come on, I thought that was funny.  (FYI for you non-Americans.  This is a reference to a tv show).

I am having the hardest time with the “Gracefullness” part of our new Contract.  It is hard to change something that is just so automatic, such as how I walk or sit.  Mike has been understanding and is looking for “progress, not perfection,” at least for now.

I take my Duties and Obligations seriously, so guess what?  I enrolled in an “Etiquette Class.”  There is a company that has an adult program that, among other things, helps teach things like “attitude and body language.”  They also provide some one-on-one consulting.  The price wasn’t too bad and I hope it is worth it.   I signed up for their two classes and purchased two one-on-one consulting sessions.  I joked with Mike I was going to tell them I wanted to know the best way to present my ass when preparing for my husband to spank me.  Their reaction would be priceless!  I think I’ll refrain from doing this as I don’t want to risk being kicked out of etiquette class. 

FORGET ME NOT
While I haven’t been spanked for being “ungraceful”, I have been disciplined a few times since that first disciplining under the new contract.   I forgot about a doctor’s appointment.   This falls under my “Workload” clause in the Emotional Self Care section of our Contract.

I had scheduled is a long time ago, before I was as organized as I am today.  I forgot to put it on my calendar but luckily got a reminder from the doctor’s office the day before.  I do have a little bit of slack built into the schedule for unexpected things, but not enough to accommodate a doctor’s visit and this appointment should have been expected.  Mike spanked me (hard of course, as they all are), because I failed to meet certain commitments that day due to the doctor visit. 

DISCIPLINE FOR THE DISCIPLINE MANTRA
Making matters worse, when he spanked me, I fumbled the Discipline Mantra.  I hadn’t practiced it in a while.  In some ways it isn’t something I want to get familiar with saying, since it is something I say as part of our Discipline Ceremony.   But, I need to learn it.  I said it correctly the first time I was disciplined under the new Contract.  Mike is now requiring that I recite it as part of my two weekly Maintenance Sessions.  This will help me from getting “rusty” if I have long stretches of behaving.

This is from our Discipline Ceremony in our Contract.  I thought I’d share here since I referenced it above:  Mike, I am sorry for {specify Disobedience}, as that does not live up to the standards you expect of me and I deserve of myself.  Thank you for acknowledging my Disobedience and for Disciplining me so that I may properly reflect and learn to be more obedient to you.  I gladly accept and look forward to the Discipline you are about to give me. Please Discipline me now.”

I learned it is no fun to fumble the Discipline Mantra.  I am already being disciplined for whatever behavior prompted the discipline and then — boom — more gets added!  And Mike’s go-to disciplining measure when it involves something I say or fail to say includes a soaping and his “special” rinse and/or drink.   Maybe I should rethink not having pee as a hard limit?   Oh, it’s not as bad as it sounds (usually).  I think I am more disgusted with the thought of it than the actual act.  Moving on…

OUT GO THE LIGHTS
The other disciplining I received was for something a bit different.  I left some lights on.  This was something newly added to the “Finance” portion of my DD.  Basically I commit to not being wasteful by leaving lights on or other wasteful habits.

Mike came to me and said, “I walked in our bedroom and the light was on in the bedroom and the bathroom.  Is there a reason you left them on?”

I responded with, “I am sorry, Sir.” 

“Jen, I didn’t ask for an apology, I want to know if there is a reason it happened?”

I didn’t want to make excuses and I definitely over thought my answer.  “I just forgot to turn them off.  I am sorry, I will try to do better.” 

Mike then said in his “matter-of-fact-but-you’re-on-thin-ice” voice, “That’s the second time you haven’t answered my question.  I truly want to know if there is a reason.  Was the reason that you just forgot, or was there more to what you were doing that caused you to forget?”

“Yes, Sir, I had a basket full of laundry so I couldn’t turn them off immediately.  I planned to go back and do so but forgot, Sir.” 

“That’s perfectly understandable,” Mike added, “and if you would have answered my question the first time I would just have suggested that you put the basket down and turn off the light as you leave the room and left it at that.  But since you are trying to read into my question as if I don’t mean what I say, you need to go to room and I’ll be there in moment.”

Fortunately J and Kayla were playing something on the computer, far from our bedroom.  Mike came in I ended up being spanked, soaped (with rinse and drink), and had to write lines.

PERSPECTIVE
I accept my discipline without hesitation or question.  It is part of what I need and want for myself.  However, writing about it gives me a perspective that is a different from living in it.  When I write, I can sort of “hover” over what has happened, as a viewer, not just a participant.  And the viewer in me sometimes reacts different from the participant.

The viewer in me asks, “Jen, is this what you wanted way back when?  You wanted Mike to spank you, wash your mouth out with soap, have you drink his pee, all for the way you answered him for not turning out a light?”

And my answer remains the same.   “It doesn’t matter what I wanted then.  Being accountable to Mike and subject to his discipline is absolutely what I want now!”  I may not prefer certain punishments, but I prefer the Jen of today over the Jen of a few years ago.  I prefer my happiness of today, my fulfillment for today, and my rejoicing in today!

NEXT:  188.  The Cock Block (or is it Clam Jam?)


164. Reflecting on Behavior & Punishment

164

I am overdue on this post.  I’ve been a busy bee lately.  I helped my sister with a move – they are moving to a new house (still in town) – packing, sorting, stuff like that.  And I took on some home improvement projects — painting, redecorating.  Busy, busy!

So…the last punishment I shared.  Yeah, that was a doozy.  First off, based on some of the comments I received (both from my blog and from Kayla) I want to address any perception that my attitude was flippant.  I didn’t intend for it to come across that way because I assure you, it was not.  

REFLECTING ON MY ACTIONS
As far as my disobedience goes, I don’t take pride in it.  I wish I had not behaved that way.  But it did, and I accept the consequences.  I recall exactly what I was feeling in that moment of defiance.  I won’t lie, there was a brief moment that the defiance felt good, but it didn’t last.

When Kayla ordered tea for herself, I recall thinking about the absurdity of my lifestyle.  I thought, “I am not a child.  I can make choices for myself.  I can choose to indulge how and when I want.  I deserve to make those choices.  I deserve those indulgences.”  So I ordered the tea and it felt good to do so!

At least for a moment.  When the tea was served and I took my first sip, I quickly started coming to my submissive senses.  Yes, some of the activities and restrictions of D/s may seem absurd to the uninitiated, but they serve a purpose for me – a purpose I value, a purpose I cherish, and a purpose I want to honor.  After just a few sips I recommitted myself to honoring that purpose.

That is why I appeared flippant about the consequences.  I expected them to be severe, and part of me wanted them to be.  Anything short of severe would dishonor what this lifestyle has given me as well as diminish the commitments I made to myself and to Mike.   I immediately accepted whatever consequences were to come.  It wasn’t that I was flippant.  It was that I did not have any doubts, insecurities, fear or anxieties . Absent any of these strong emotions, then yes, I can see why I came across as nonchalant.

In the past I would have analyzed to death my feelings and motivations and what they meant regarding my future with DD.  I am not knocking such self analyzing – it is very important –  but, I realize much of its’ importance stems from trying to make sense of an uncertain situation or resolve a sense of insecurity.  In this case, I didn’t feel a need for such reflection as I am neither uncertain or insecure about where I am at and where I am going with our DD.  It is simply a part of me and my relationship with Mike – I realized that I am past having any doubts about Domestic Discipline.

That does not mean I don’t have limits or don’t have needs that need to be nourished. I am sure there will be minor course corrections here and there, whether it is in regards to my behaviors and duties, or in regards to Mike’s role as Dom.   However, such things are no longer about whether DD is working or is right for us.   I guess to try to put it yet another way – I am more confident in my incompetence.   It is this conscious incompetence that gives me strength, which may be perceived as flippant.  

REFLECTING ON MY PUNISHMENT
I felt it was appropriate, but admit I am not fond of the pee-stuff.  I blame Kayla (half-jokingly) for this even being a “thing” in Mike’s punishment arsenal.   It started with the last immersion when Kayla discovered she really enjoys it.  She feels it is her ultimate submissive act.  Hey, to each his (or her) own. 

I didn’t have it as a hard limit on purpose.  For one I felt Mike would never go there and I guess part of me figured if he did, I was willing to give it a try.  I am considering adding it as a hard limit, but I am hesitating.  Part of me says that Mike should have something  I find distasteful (literally and figuratively) to use sparingly if my behavior is egregious.  It certainly serves as a major deterrent for me – more so than a spanking.   We shall see.  Contract renegotiation time is right around the corner!     

NEXT: 165:  Boundaries: Juggling Flaming Machetes

153. Kayla the Master

153

WHAT’S UP??
Three weeks without a post is a record for me.  I just haven’t felt the motivation to post. 
It is a combination of things being in a very smooth groove with no surprises.  No new insights, no new anything.   I am not complaining.  It’s been a nice respite from what seems like two plus years of ever evolving self discovery.

Part of the lull is that it is summer and our son is home from school and our middle son, who is in college, is in and out at unpredictable times.  Much of our TTWD is relegated to the evenings, behind closed doors, or occasional trips to John and Donna’s for added privacy when needed.  

FOCUS ON KAYLA
Over the last three weeks most of the focus on TTWD has been on Kayla.  
She had an amazing experience with the Immersion, and really discovered some fetishes that she enjoys.  She likes to play “little girl,” to the extent of wearing a diaper, but not all the time.  She also likes serving Mike in more intense and continual ways.   She has always served him, but lately she is always at the ready to do any and everything for him.  She likes to bathe him, shave him (mostly his face, but not always, hee hee), and well, be his receptacle in ways you can surly imagine. 

She is extremely focused on anticipating his needs and moves in a flash when he expresses any need.  I imagine if I didn’t know the situation as I do, that I would think she was under Mike’s spell.  

I’ve talked to her about this.  I assume there is a threshold where perhaps this can be unhealthy.   I don’t know what the threshold is, and she certainty hasn’t crossed it, but it’s out there somewhere.  She functions fine when he is not around, and she hasn’t allowed anything harmful to happen to her (not that I think Mike would harm her).   My concern is that the trust she puts in Mike, although well deserved and earned, may lead her to believe she can place this type of trust in other men in the future.   She very well may be able to do that, but she needs to keep her senses and sense of self.  

When I talk to her about this she admits she thrives on losing herself to Mike.  She reiterated her “Manifesto” to me.  She admits she has no sense of self, only a sense of him.  She recognizes our situation is unique and feels this is a safe and nurturing environment and she would “snap out of it” if she ever felt otherwise.   She says it is that sense of safety and sense of nurturing that allows her to lose herself.  Otherwise, she wouldn’t do it.  So, that’s that.

NOT WANTING
In some ways I’ve had fewer “submissive” needs over the last several weeks.  I’ve had some spankings and other punishments, but nothing out of the ordinary – and I am not left wanting.   My “balance” has allowed me to focus more on Kayla, to talk with her and guide her, and to be a sufficient proxy when Mike is not around.  I haven’t always been in a mood for that, but lately, it’s just seems very natural and easy for me.

Not wanting.  That really sums up my feelings lately.  I am happy with where things are we me, with Mike, with our household.  And when things are going well it makes it easy to give your energy to others.  Lately, that energy has been on Kayla.  I am happy for her and happy that I am able to give her that.    

KAYLA THE MASTER?
She starts school soon.  That will be an interesting transition.  She has spent so much of the last seven months with us old folks.  The return to the environment, routines, and demands of school may be a shock to her system.

Oh, and Kayla is starting a Masters program.  We joke whether or not it is appropriate for a submissive to get their Masters?!   Of course we are kidding, as a sub can be as educated as they wish to be, it’s just, do they have to call it a Masters?

ADDENDUM: It dawned on me after posting this, that Kayla is showing all the signs and symptoms of Sub Frenzy!  Can’t believe I didn’t recognize that sooner.  Ah, to be in frenzy!! 

NEXT: 154. RIDING THE WAVE