Tag Archives: pee

266. Domestic Discipline Throwback: A Spanking two-fer

266

It’s been about two months since I shared a spanking story  Not because I haven’t been spanked over that time, but there haven’t been many, and none that notable or different from other spankings I get. Our recent refocusing changed that.   So here are TWO spanking stories for you.

WE INTERRUPT THIS SPANKING STORY
Before I get into that, just a quick note on my blogging.  I am behind on sharing stuff and sometimes when I get behind, I just skip over things and blog about more recent stuff, forever skipping the stuff I was behind on.  I’ve been trying not to do that.  I found I start to forget whether or not I shared certain experiences.  I’ll start to reference something and then be like, “did I ever actually share that in the first place?”  I then go back looking for it and sometimes I find that I did, and sometimes I find that did not.

Anyway, I don’t want to have to do that so am trying to just cover all the things I feel are worth sharing.  I am about a week behind on stuff.   For instance, this weekend Mike is on a business trip, and Matt is spending the weekend with me at my house.  But I don’t want to blog about that until I get you caught up on a few other things.

ZERO TOLERANCE
When Mike and I discussed our drifting from our normal D/s routine, he acknowledged he had been giving me more and more warnings over actual punishments.  The result of our conversation was that he was adopting a “zero tolerance” regarding any failures in my Duties and Obligations.   He doesn’t intend to stay at “zero tolerance,” but, Mike felt it would be easier to adopt a “no warnings” mindset to get us out of our “drift.”   It didn’t take long before it was clear to me that indeed, there would be no warnings, regardless how minor the indiscretion.

Also, for some context, Kayla and I have a 10:30 p.m. bedtime and we often go to bed before Mike.  Sometimes he might send one of us to bed and one of us gets to stay up later with him, or sometimes we both get to stay up late or neither of us do.  By the way, if we do go to sleep before him, he may wake us for sex when he does come to bed.   Oh, and of course, we sleep naked.   Okay, enough of our bedtime routine.

Oh – a bit more context –  Kayla and I have a many household chores we must do.  We typically “divide and conquer” where we will split up the work.

I had just fallen asleep and was awaken to the covers being pulled off me and one hard smack to my butt.  Then I hear Mike, “Get up Jen, someone is getting a spanking.”   I managed a groggy “Yes, Sir,” unsure exactly why but alert enough to know not to delay in obeying him.

I stood up and then he asked, “Who swept the floors after dinner, you or Kayla?”   

I know I didn’t forget to sweep the floors, so what was this about?   In my half-awake state I was fortunate to still know enough to answer him clearly, without it sounding like a question.  “It was me, Sir.”

“Both of you need to make sure all the cleaning is done after dinner.  If something is missed, both of you will be punished, and to make that point clear, Kayla, you need to get out of bed and get over here.”

Kayla got up.  Mike directed me to bend over and put my hands on the bed.  He directed Kayla to come over next to him, such that Mike was to one side of me and Kayla the other.   “Kayla, you are going to watch this so that you remember that both of you need to share in the cleaning duties and both of you will share in the consequences.”

It’s been awhile since Kayla watched me get a good discipline spanking.  I don’t mind it, it’s just that it has been awhile so it felt it a bit different.  Mike already had a paddle in his hand.  He gave me a dozen or so warm ups by hand, and then came the paddle.  Ten, then another ten a bit harder, then another ten harder than the last.

In a matter of moments I went from that surreal place between sleep and wake, to the adrenaline rush of having my ass lit up.   Mike told me to get up and then told Kayla to take my place.   Mike then spanked her as he did me.

He then instructed Kayla to stand in the corner until we returned.  He then brought me out to the kitchen and showed me that I indeed did clean the floor, but, I left the dustpan out.  I had put it down on a chair and forgot it.   Wow, Mike was serious about this zero tolerance.  I put it away and we walked back to the bedroom.  He called Kayla over and we hugged and did our Closing Ceremony.  “All is forgiven.”

Normally Mike and I don’t mix sex with discipline – meaning we don’t have sex at the conclusion of a discipline session  (Mike and Kayla often do though).  But, that night I was thankful that we all ended up having sex.  I needed the relaxation of an orgasm to help get back to sleep.  Spankings can be such an adrenaline rush. 

SPANKING #2 – REMINDER SPANKINGS
I get a quick spanking anytime I leave the house – as a reminder to remain submissive in my thinking even when not home.  I was running a little late for a lunch date with a friend.  I wasn’t going to be late if I left promptly.   I went to Mike and asked for my reminder spanking.  He said he would be there in a minute.

Mike came to the room a few minutes later – much longer than I was anticipating.  I knew better than to complain or rush him, but my attitude was clearly that of, “Come on, Mike, get on with it, I’ve got to get going.”   Mike asked me, “What’s the rush?”

That was my out.  I could have recognized I was putting off an “annoyed” vibe and apologized for it.  Instead, I complained.  “I don’t want to be late, and this doesn’t have to take so long.”

Mike said, “It takes as long as I want it to take.  This spanking is going to be double.  One set as your reminder for when you are out of the house.  The other set for your reminder that when it is time for a reminder spanking, you won’t be annoyed or try to rush me.”

He took me into our bathroom as J was home and it is furthest away from the rest of the home such that noise shouldn’t be an issue.  I was already dressed to go.  I expected Mike to just have me remove my panties and bend over, as that is usual for a reminder.  But instead, he told me to completely disrobe.

Once naked, he then had me open my mouth.  He took a bar of soap, ran some water over it, and told me to stick out my tongue.  Yes, a mouth soaping.  After lathering up my tongue, I had to hold the soap bar in my mouth.  Mike then had me bend over and he gave me several warm ups, then 10 very hard ones with a thin paddle, 5 on each cheek.  Then 10 very hard ones with a wider paddle, again, 5 on each cheek.  Not satisfied with the result, he then gave me three more on each cheek, full force.  He inspected my ass, and then gave me one on each cheek, again full force.

This was not just a reminder spanking, it was a disciplinary punishment, no doubt about it.  And with all mouth soapings, when it was done, I got on my knees and Mike peed into my mouth.  I stood and swished and spit into the sink, then got back on my knees and repeated until Mike did not have to go any more.  I was then allowed to rinse with some water.   Mike hugged me, “All is forgiven.”

I got dressed.  “By the way, Jen, I don’t want you to wear panties on your lunch date.”

I removed my panties, and with one additional instruction, that I will share later, I happily left for my lunch date with my friend, albeit a bit late.    What was that instruction and who was I having lunch with?   Next post!

NEXT:  Free to Be: Seeking Domestic Discipline

247. Hey, my husband spanks me!

247

This is a continuation of my prior post… sort of.

This time I will get to some discipline experiences. 

But first, this little interlude. . . 

SYNCOPATHIC CACOPHONY
Here are things I’ve been punished for lately, sometimes in summary or detailed more greatly, but where it lacks the narrative of the swift hard whacks, I give you clear citations of the cold hard facts.  You can call me remiss for the skips of a hit of the paddle or swig of the piss, but there are times due to brevity I’ve got to use levity and enjoy the descriptions of my discipline prescriptions as I stop being so zany and start some explaining so no more hesitations. . . Read on.  And feel my sensations. 

Maybe the better word is cacaphony (uh oh, is caca a vulgar word? I hope not re #4 below). 

Here you go, with references to the section of the Contract that deals with my transgression.

TRANSGRESSION 1:  GROSS-ery DISREGARD FOR DRESS CODE

I was in the house and was not naked when required to be.

I got home with some groceries and they were in the back of the van so I couldn’t close the garage door until I had them groceries out.  This is important because I typically disrobe once I close the garage door and before I enter the house.  But since I needed to leave the garage door open, I leave my clothes on until the groceries are inside.  

I brought some groceries in and I wanted to get some of the stuff in the freezer right away.  There were still a few things in the car so I thought, “I’ll get these things put away, go get what’s in the car, then undress.”  I was putting away a few things and Kayla walked in and said she would get the last few things from the car.  Great.  I kept putting the groceries away as she brought the last items in she went back to whatever she was doing. .   I had them all put away and started on some other chores.  Maybe 10 minutes, maybe 15… Kayla walks back in and was like, “Hey, your clothed.”  Oops.  I disrobed immediately.  I had to tell on myself when Mike got home.

  • Violation of Section V.2.2.3 Attire
  • Discipline:  Mr. Creative, aka, Mike, had to defer my spanking until J was asleep that night.  He told me to get dressed as if I was going shopping and follow him out to the car (parked in our garage).  He was carrying a paddle and directed me to lay face down in the back seat and pull my skirt up and panties down.  He positioned himself in the front so that he could reach over to the back and spank me.  He gave me about 10 warm ups, and then 10 harder ones.  He then told me to pull up my panties, and follow him inside and I was to disrobe at the door.

    Once in the kitchen he directed me to take a couple of things out of the fridge and pantry and put them on the counter.  He had me bend over, hands on the counter, staring at the items – 10 swats, hard of course.  Then he had me put the food back where it belonged.

    And then we repeated.  Got dressed, went to the car, 10 swats, disrobed, back inside, put some food out on the counter, 10 swats, put the food back, and repeat a third and final time.  So 60 swats total.  Then he gave me 30 minutes of corner time in the kitchen before concluding with our closing ceremony.    

TRANSGRESSION:  MANTRA MISS
Twice over the last month I’ve messed up our mantra rule.  Before explaining the misstep, I want to add that I really love the mantras, way more than I thought.  I liked the idea from the beginning, but thought I would tire of it.  Perhaps I will, but it has been 6 months and I still love it.  It is an awesome way to start and end every day. 

One time I was in bed reading while Mike was busy at the computer and I fell asleep.  Mike didn’t wake me when he got to bed.  It is my responsibility to seek him out if I am going to bed and think I may fall asleep before he gets there.

Another time I said the mantra, which is the last thing I am to speak before going to bed, and then Mike asked me something that I answered.  It happens, and I simply repeat the mantra again.  There are times I’ve had to say it over and over as something will come up requiring me to speak.  No big deal, it happens.  But this time I failed to do that and went to sleep without reciting it again.  To be fair, I was basically asleep when Mike asked me something, so while I answered it half-awake, I quickly fell back asleep after answering him.  My brain couldn’t process that I needed to repeat the mantra.

  • Violation of Section V.2.1.5 Mantras
  • Discipline:
    It’s very discombobulating to be awaken by a spanking.  For one of these punishments, I happened to be asleep on my tummy, so Mike simply pulled back the covers and I awoke to spanks on my buttocks.  For another, I happened to be on my side.  Being the devious creative Dom that he is, he got a clothespin and clipped it to my nipple.  I didn’t wake up so he started pulling on it and clipping and unclipping it.  I woke in a dazed “WTF?” kind of state (I didn’t actually say those words).  Before I fully got my bearings he moved me over on my stomach and began spanking me.  I didn’t comprehend why as it was hard to think from both the surprise of the spanking and the grogginess of the sleep.  As this wasn’t the first time I have been awakened this way, the reasons for the spanking eventually dawned on me as the spanking progressed. 
    Spankings give me a rush of adrenaline, making it hard to go right back to sleep.  Mike remedied that.  “Now, sit down and write out the mantra 50 times.”  Yeah, that took care of the adrenaline.

TRANSGRESSION:  STRIKE WHILE THE IRONS…um, COLD?
I iron my husbands clothes.  Not just his work shirts, but his t-shirts, slacks, and shorts.  The only thing I don’t iron are his underwear and socks – I am a feminist after all!   lol.

Ironing is likely the biggest icon of the classic 1950’s misogynistic acts of service expected of housewives.  It’s funny, but my lunch bunch friends are more shocked that I iron my husbands clothes than they are that I share my husband with another woman.  Ironing evokes that strong of reaction in many women!

I enjoy it.  I love to have everything turned off so it is quiet, and just enough light so I can see what I am doing.  It is semi-meditative for me.  Working with my hands to make something nice looking and comfortable for Mike that will also be against his skin. It’s like a part of me is always touching him.  Yummy, I even like thinking about it. 

Well, maybe I had it too dark one day when I ironed, as Mike noticed a large crease in one of his shirts.  He simply pointed it out and reminded me to pay attention.  He does give me reminders sometimes versus going right to a punishment.  He then got to looking and found a few other less than perfect shirts.  “Bad day ironing, huh?  I’ll let it go, but you have to do better.”

His statement is something worth noting as it shows the evolution of our DD.   Early on in DD I would been upset over him telling me to “do better.”  Regardless his tone of voice, it sounds a bit condescending.  But now it is that sort of blunt commentary that I love.  To me, comments like that are more dominating than a spank on the butt.  And I love it when Mike shows his dominance.  It also shows I have indeed gone from DD that is mine to DD that is for me.   

At that point I avoided being disciplined, other than verbally, when he happens to notice issues with several other shirts.  Oh shirt!  Let the spanking commence.

  • Violation of Section V.2.1.4 Homemaker
  • Discipline:  Mike’s creativity was challenged since obviously branding me with the iron is a hard limit.  He gave me 10 warm ups with a paddle, then took a plastic hanger (no wire hangers!!) and tried swatting me with it.  It hurt a little bit but then it broke.  I guess they aren’t spanko tested.  He went into the closet and way in the back in the furthest corner, there was a single wire hanger.  He twisted it apart, got in into a loop, and spanked me maybe a dozen times.  It really stung but less than I thought it was going to.
  • Sensing it didn’t quite have the desired effect, he went back into the closet and came out with the iron.  He created a loop with the cord and spanked me maybe another 10 times, very hard.  Those definitely got my attention.  He has only used cords a few times and I knew it was going to hurt and going to leave some marks.  Suffice to say I now keep more lights on when I iron. Oh, and Mike told me to buy a couple of wire hangers so we can have them, just in case. 

TRANSGRESSION:  WELL &%!* TO THAT!
For someone who rarely cusses, I think this is maybe only the fourth or fifth time being disciplined for doing so.  It was never a major habit of mine, and when I have, it is usually to make light of a situation.  You know, humor!

Humor or not, it’s still cussing.  As Mike reminded me, our agreement states, “any cussing by Jennifer for any reason at any time will be deemed a failure to properly express her feelings.”  I guess I blew it when negotiating that part, because come on, sometimes it is an effective way to express something.  Oh well, our next renegotiation is a year from now, so only 12 months until I can let the expletives fly.  Ha.

By the way – a small loophole.  I can use a cuss word if I am sharing what someone else said and what they said included a cuss word.  As such, I am not expressing my feelings, but theirs.  Another caveat is if I Mike’s permission, such as here, where he gave me permission to repeat the word that earned me this punishment.

Mike took exception to my use of the word “fucking” in a recent post. I used it for humor (Post 242) so thought it would be okay. I thought wrong.

  • Violation of Section V.3.2.1 Feelings
  • Discipline:  His go-to disciplining routine for verbal related discretion is a mouth soaping.  He really lathered this one up a lot. All over my tongue and lips, and I had to bite down so there are teeth marks in the soap.  It was followed with the traditional rinsing using his pee, and after a few rinses, I had to drink the remaining pee.  He then said that since I think cussing is funny for its “shock” value, he pulled out the OH DIOS MIO (violet wand)He has only used this a few times, shocking me on my butt or breasts or on my sides. This time he had me stick out my tongue and said I was getting five shocks.  They did hurt, but as in “shock” type hurt.  The pain doesn’t last long.  But knowing that initial shock is about to hit makes it more of a psychological disciplining than physical.  Your mind is just anticipate this awful powerful shock.  It hurts, but not as much as your mind tells you it is going to hurt – and it is that anticipation that makes this such an effective discipline.

REFLECTION
There’s a few others I could share, but I think that paints a good picture.  Keep in mind these occurred over the last three months, so it really isn’t that many.  I haven’t been disciplined a lot lately – and I am not complaining.  The spankings I get at Maintenance are plenty for helping maintain my submissive mindset. 

The “today” Jenny is satisfied just ending this post here — let the punishments stand for whatever you think they stand for.  I know what they mean to me and I accept them and love that I have a relationship that allows for my husband to address my behaviors.

However, for the benefit of some readers who struggle with my acceptance of being treated this way, I will write a bit more (A bit? Since when do I ever right “a bit” more about anything?).   

SHOULD I BE PUNISHED FOR SUCH TRIVIAL THINGS?
Yes.

See, I told you it would just be a bit more

Next: 248. Secret Ingredients Revealed

213. Speedy Spanking Summations

I went through my journal and noted some spankings I received since the start of the year that are not as “epic” as the one’s I typically share.  I thought it might be of interest to see the more “mundane” things I mess up on.     

As a point of clarity, I am not diminishing their importance.  Every transgression and punishment has meaning to me.  I just feel all of them are not going to be of interest to readers nor indicate a milestone for me.   

I also want to note as far as severity of the punishment, none of them are mild or moderate — every one is high intensity.   Lately Mike has been in a habit of giving what he calls a6×6 spanking.  Six sets of six spankings, three on each cheek in very fast (and hard) succession.  He lectures in between each set and the final six are of maximum intensity.   I leave every spanking with a very red, warm, and burning butt.

They definitely are serving their purpose as a deterrent.  I’ve noticed that when I am in the corner awaiting my punishments that my mind is thinking about what is to come. This isn’t a bad thing.  It is just what it is. 

I made this recap fun (okay, fun for me) in that I looked up what part of the contract applied to the particular transgression.  

TRANSGRESSION:   left my debit card at a restaurant.
I remembered soon after leaving and doubled back and retrieved it.

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.3. Workload
  • Discipline:  Palms slapped with ruler, then  thirty minutes in the corner with a butt plug in, hands cuffed behind me, then 100 lines, and then 18 spankings by hand, 2 each for 9 errors/sloppy lines, then the “6×6” with a paddle.  Worst part – not being able to scratch an itch while in the corner! j/k, the paddle was worse!

TRANSGRESSION:  Cussing
I am not a big cusser.  It is rare, but I stubbed my toe and in pain and between my clenched teeth I let loose with “God Damn It!”  Luckily my son wasn’t around.

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.1 Feelings
  • Discipline:  Mouth soaping and 15 minutes in the corner with the bar of soap in my mouth, pee rinse and drink, and a “6×6” with the hairbrush.  In addition we had a lecture/talk about whether I was frustrated with other things that may have led to my cussing.  I couldn’t identify any, but I wanted to note this because there are times Mike will use a discipline session as an opportunity to talk WITH me, not just at me. 

TRANSGRESSION: Left a pot of stew on stove 
I had left it to cool before putting it in a container and in the fridge.  I forgot about it!

  • Violation of Section V.2.3.3. Workload and/or V.2.1.4 Homemaker
  • Discipline: Mike called me to the kitchen and gave me a “6×6” with a wooden spoon.  I was a bit apprehensive since our son was home (asleep).  It is very rare for him to ever wake up, but, you just never know.  I accepted it without hesitation but did talk to Mike about it at Maintenance.  He agreed it was not worth the risk and said he would be more discreet.  He praised me for not hesitating and not showing any signs I was put off by it, despite my apprehension.  (Remember – Thanks and Praise!

TRANSGRESSION:  Dress code violation
Hey, it’s winter and it gets cold!  I was naked, as is required when J is in school, but I put socks on because my feet were cold.  I should have asked Mike for permission.  He would have easily granted it (because he has always done so).  I just got lazy and decided not to ask him since he always says yes anyway.  Oops. 

  • Violation of Section V.2.2.3 Attire
  • Discipline:  Always looking to be creative, he took a pair of his socks (mine are too short) and wrapped a sock around each of my breasts and then tied each end of the sock tightly together – sort of homemade breast binder.  It worked surprisingly well — see, you can MacGyver your kink gear!
    He then had me get a handful of ice, clenched my fists, and I held it for 30 seconds.  That doesn’t seem like much, but try it!  He then gave me 30 seconds to pause without the ice in hand, then repeated it, another 30 second break, and then a final 30 again holding the ice — not all punishment involves impact and at least the ice was just in my hand (Post 63) LOL!  He didn’t do a 6×6 – he gave me  lots by hand over his knee.  There was no count, just lots of spanking and lecturing on remembering to ask permission.  

TRANSGRESSION:  Not showing deference to Mike
Mike and I were at John and Donna’s and in conversation I said something about “Mike asked me…”   Mike does not ask me, he instructs, demands, or tells me, things.  I am not to refer to such demands as being “asked.”   The only exception is if indeed Mike was asking me a question, such as for my opinion on something.  I can refer to that as being “asked.”  But if he is giving me something to act upon, he is not asking.   
This was a new rule that we added to our recent Contract and I anticipated it was going to be difficult for me.  In reality, it took me a few weeks to fully master it but after that, I never forgot, until this slip up. 

  • Violation of Section V 2.1.8 Deference
  • Discipline: As what has become the “standard” for things dealing with words I say or don’t say, I received a mouth soaping along with the pee rinse and drink.  As this was at John and Donna’s house and they were witness to my disobedience, they also watched the discipline.  He borrowed one of their hairbrushes  and ended it with a 6×6.  By the way, their hairbrush was more like a paddle disguised as a hair brush.  It was much harder and larger than mine.  This was all extra humbling for me because John and Donna watched.  They’ve seen me punished before, but it has been a long time.   

TRANSGRESSION:  Slouching and not being graceful. 
This is another item that is new to our Contract.  I need to be more graceful in my movements.  This was such a big challenge for me that Mike agreed to pay for classes for me.  Etiquette classes, complete with private sessions with a tutor!  I just started them two weeks ago. The classes are a bit boring, but the private sessions have been a hoot. 
Mike had been lenient on my “gracefulness” because he recognizes it is very challenging to change life long habits of how you carry your body when you walk and sit.  He would often give me reminders and I would not be punished as long as he didn’t have to persistently remind me over a short period of time.
Now that I have attended two classes and 4 private sessions, he expects me to better adhere to the things that have been covered in class and the sessions.  
Over the course of a few days last week he had to remind me several times regarding how I was walking and sitting.  He decided he had given enough reminders and discipline was in order. 

  • Violation of Sections V.2.2.4.1, V.2.2.4.2, V.2.2.4.3, Gracefulness
  • Discipline:  A straight forward old-fashioned belt spanking with my face down on the bed.  I got a 6×6 on my butt and then got several on each thigh. He then had me turn over on my back, spread my legs, and he struck me several times on my inner thigh, just missing my pussy.       

That’s it.  And that’s a lot!  Add to this the two Maintenance Sessions per week, and the “reset” (Post 204), and my butt is a bit shell-shocked.  It has been three weeks and there is still some bruising left from the New Year’s Eve spanking.    

While I admit my butt is sore, emotionally I am very upbeat.  The “reset” is over, I feel highly focused, deeply submitted, and overwhelmingly fulfilled.  I do feel I have a lot on my plate but I am very organized.  I keep a detailed calendar and leave myself little “reminder’ notes here and there.  I am not seeing a lot of repeated misbehaviors regarding the same topic.   I have no complaints . . . which is good, because my Contract requires that I shall remain joyful, scheduled, and optimized regarding my duties. Contract or not, that is my current state!

Next:  214. Nicknames: Opening our Joy Box

187. Happy Wife. Happy Life.

187

And this Happy Wife is happiest when she is serving her husband!

I am really loving my Homemaker Duties Schedule!  One of the best ideas Mike has ever had.  And thus far it has worked as he intended – it’s been a blessing, not a burden.  All my chores are broken into daily bite-sized pieces, complete with scheduled “down time” to relax.   Down time I often use for blogging, which is why I have posted so much lately.  

And the schedule is not so rigorous that I have to “Relax between 10 and 11 today.”  It is more like, “one hour of relaxing” that I fit in at some point in the day.   And Mike has been a stickler in following up with me.  He will call or text me and ask me if I’ve “done my down time” yet.  He wants to make sure I stay fulfilled, not burdened, with my duties.

And with this frequent blogging means more mundane day-to-day things to share.  That is, if you call serving your husband as a god and being disciplined for your misbehavior mundane.  Yeah, that type of mundane!   With that, here’s several updates to my “mundane” existence — 

WEIGHT
Here’s an update on my Quarterly Goals, which this quarter is to lose 18 pounds by January 17.  Just two weeks in and I am happy to report I’ve lost 3.3 pounds!  I am happy to be a little ahead of schedule as I imagine the first few pounds are easier to lose than the last few.

What is even more exciting is that I haven’t done anything too dramatic to make that happen.  So as it gets more difficult to shed the last few pounds I should be able to simply exercise more to make it happen.

I’ve cut about 250-300 calories out of my diet by doing some very simple things. I continue to only drink water.  I switched to egg whites when I want eggs.  I stopped eating muffins or pastries and just have a piece of toast instead.  I double up on my veggies.  No dessert.   Very limited snacking and always a healthy snack.  I read labels and always opt for the lower calorie, lower carb options.  And most of all, I always leave a little bit on my plate.  Just a bite or two, but I found it serves as a visual testament to my resolve.  Oh, and portion control!  Especially when eating out, which we don’t do a lot of anymore.

Added to the dietary changes is I walk 30 minutes almost every day.  I plan to up this to daily soon.  I also jump rope at least 20 minutes every other day and again, plan to up this to daily soon.   Jumping rope is fun with you don’t have heavy clamps on your nipples, hee-hee (Post 35. Calisthenics of Doom)  

TESTING MY WILL FOR GRACE
Hee hee, see what I did there… Will For Grace.. Will and Grace.   No?  Come on, I thought that was funny.  (FYI for you non-Americans.  This is a reference to a tv show).

I am having the hardest time with the “Gracefullness” part of our new Contract.  It is hard to change something that is just so automatic, such as how I walk or sit.  Mike has been understanding and is looking for “progress, not perfection,” at least for now.

I take my Duties and Obligations seriously, so guess what?  I enrolled in an “Etiquette Class.”  There is a company that has an adult program that, among other things, helps teach things like “attitude and body language.”  They also provide some one-on-one consulting.  The price wasn’t too bad and I hope it is worth it.   I signed up for their two classes and purchased two one-on-one consulting sessions.  I joked with Mike I was going to tell them I wanted to know the best way to present my ass when preparing for my husband to spank me.  Their reaction would be priceless!  I think I’ll refrain from doing this as I don’t want to risk being kicked out of etiquette class. 

FORGET ME NOT
While I haven’t been spanked for being “ungraceful”, I have been disciplined a few times since that first disciplining under the new contract.   I forgot about a doctor’s appointment.   This falls under my “Workload” clause in the Emotional Self Care section of our Contract.

I had scheduled is a long time ago, before I was as organized as I am today.  I forgot to put it on my calendar but luckily got a reminder from the doctor’s office the day before.  I do have a little bit of slack built into the schedule for unexpected things, but not enough to accommodate a doctor’s visit and this appointment should have been expected.  Mike spanked me (hard of course, as they all are), because I failed to meet certain commitments that day due to the doctor visit. 

DISCIPLINE FOR THE DISCIPLINE MANTRA
Making matters worse, when he spanked me, I fumbled the Discipline Mantra.  I hadn’t practiced it in a while.  In some ways it isn’t something I want to get familiar with saying, since it is something I say as part of our Discipline Ceremony.   But, I need to learn it.  I said it correctly the first time I was disciplined under the new Contract.  Mike is now requiring that I recite it as part of my two weekly Maintenance Sessions.  This will help me from getting “rusty” if I have long stretches of behaving.

This is from our Discipline Ceremony in our Contract.  I thought I’d share here since I referenced it above:  Mike, I am sorry for {specify Disobedience}, as that does not live up to the standards you expect of me and I deserve of myself.  Thank you for acknowledging my Disobedience and for Disciplining me so that I may properly reflect and learn to be more obedient to you.  I gladly accept and look forward to the Discipline you are about to give me. Please Discipline me now.”

I learned it is no fun to fumble the Discipline Mantra.  I am already being disciplined for whatever behavior prompted the discipline and then — boom — more gets added!  And Mike’s go-to disciplining measure when it involves something I say or fail to say includes a soaping and his “special” rinse and/or drink.   Maybe I should rethink not having pee as a hard limit?   Oh, it’s not as bad as it sounds (usually).  I think I am more disgusted with the thought of it than the actual act.  Moving on…

OUT GO THE LIGHTS
The other disciplining I received was for something a bit different.  I left some lights on.  This was something newly added to the “Finance” portion of my DD.  Basically I commit to not being wasteful by leaving lights on or other wasteful habits.

Mike came to me and said, “I walked in our bedroom and the light was on in the bedroom and the bathroom.  Is there a reason you left them on?”

I responded with, “I am sorry, Sir.” 

“Jen, I didn’t ask for an apology, I want to know if there is a reason it happened?”

I didn’t want to make excuses and I definitely over thought my answer.  “I just forgot to turn them off.  I am sorry, I will try to do better.” 

Mike then said in his “matter-of-fact-but-you’re-on-thin-ice” voice, “That’s the second time you haven’t answered my question.  I truly want to know if there is a reason.  Was the reason that you just forgot, or was there more to what you were doing that caused you to forget?”

“Yes, Sir, I had a basket full of laundry so I couldn’t turn them off immediately.  I planned to go back and do so but forgot, Sir.” 

“That’s perfectly understandable,” Mike added, “and if you would have answered my question the first time I would just have suggested that you put the basket down and turn off the light as you leave the room and left it at that.  But since you are trying to read into my question as if I don’t mean what I say, you need to go to room and I’ll be there in moment.”

Fortunately J and Kayla were playing something on the computer, far from our bedroom.  Mike came in I ended up being spanked, soaped (with rinse and drink), and had to write lines.

PERSPECTIVE
I accept my discipline without hesitation or question.  It is part of what I need and want for myself.  However, writing about it gives me a perspective that is a different from living in it.  When I write, I can sort of “hover” over what has happened, as a viewer, not just a participant.  And the viewer in me sometimes reacts different from the participant.

The viewer in me asks, “Jen, is this what you wanted way back when?  You wanted Mike to spank you, wash your mouth out with soap, have you drink his pee, all for the way you answered him for not turning out a light?”

And my answer remains the same.   “It doesn’t matter what I wanted then.  Being accountable to Mike and subject to his discipline is absolutely what I want now!”  I may not prefer certain punishments, but I prefer the Jen of today over the Jen of a few years ago.  I prefer my happiness of today, my fulfillment for today, and my rejoicing in today!

NEXT:  188.  The Cock Block (or is it Clam Jam?)


164. Reflecting on Behavior & Punishment

164

I am overdue on this post.  I’ve been a busy bee lately.  I helped my sister with a move – they are moving to a new house (still in town) – packing, sorting, stuff like that.  And I took on some home improvement projects — painting, redecorating.  Busy, busy!

So…the last punishment I shared.  Yeah, that was a doozy.  First off, based on some of the comments I received (both from my blog and from Kayla) I want to address any perception that my attitude was flippant.  I didn’t intend for it to come across that way because I assure you, it was not.  

REFLECTING ON MY ACTIONS
As far as my disobedience goes, I don’t take pride in it.  I wish I had not behaved that way.  But it did, and I accept the consequences.  I recall exactly what I was feeling in that moment of defiance.  I won’t lie, there was a brief moment that the defiance felt good, but it didn’t last.

When Kayla ordered tea for herself, I recall thinking about the absurdity of my lifestyle.  I thought, “I am not a child.  I can make choices for myself.  I can choose to indulge how and when I want.  I deserve to make those choices.  I deserve those indulgences.”  So I ordered the tea and it felt good to do so!

At least for a moment.  When the tea was served and I took my first sip, I quickly started coming to my submissive senses.  Yes, some of the activities and restrictions of D/s may seem absurd to the uninitiated, but they serve a purpose for me – a purpose I value, a purpose I cherish, and a purpose I want to honor.  After just a few sips I recommitted myself to honoring that purpose.

That is why I appeared flippant about the consequences.  I expected them to be severe, and part of me wanted them to be.  Anything short of severe would dishonor what this lifestyle has given me as well as diminish the commitments I made to myself and to Mike.   I immediately accepted whatever consequences were to come.  It wasn’t that I was flippant.  It was that I did not have any doubts, insecurities, fear or anxieties . Absent any of these strong emotions, then yes, I can see why I came across as nonchalant.

In the past I would have analyzed to death my feelings and motivations and what they meant regarding my future with DD.  I am not knocking such self analyzing – it is very important –  but, I realize much of its’ importance stems from trying to make sense of an uncertain situation or resolve a sense of insecurity.  In this case, I didn’t feel a need for such reflection as I am neither uncertain or insecure about where I am at and where I am going with our DD.  It is simply a part of me and my relationship with Mike – I realized that I am past having any doubts about Domestic Discipline.

That does not mean I don’t have limits or don’t have needs that need to be nourished. I am sure there will be minor course corrections here and there, whether it is in regards to my behaviors and duties, or in regards to Mike’s role as Dom.   However, such things are no longer about whether DD is working or is right for us.   I guess to try to put it yet another way – I am more confident in my incompetence.   It is this conscious incompetence that gives me strength, which may be perceived as flippant.  

REFLECTING ON MY PUNISHMENT
I felt it was appropriate, but admit I am not fond of the pee-stuff.  I blame Kayla (half-jokingly) for this even being a “thing” in Mike’s punishment arsenal.   It started with the last immersion when Kayla discovered she really enjoys it.  She feels it is her ultimate submissive act.  Hey, to each his (or her) own. 

I didn’t have it as a hard limit on purpose.  For one I felt Mike would never go there and I guess part of me figured if he did, I was willing to give it a try.  I am considering adding it as a hard limit, but I am hesitating.  Part of me says that Mike should have something  I find distasteful (literally and figuratively) to use sparingly if my behavior is egregious.  It certainly serves as a major deterrent for me – more so than a spanking.   We shall see.  Contract renegotiation time is right around the corner!     

NEXT: 165:  Boundaries: Juggling Flaming Machetes

153. Kayla the Master

153

WHAT’S UP??
Three weeks without a post is a record for me.  I just haven’t felt the motivation to post. 
It is a combination of things being in a very smooth groove with no surprises.  No new insights, no new anything.   I am not complaining.  It’s been a nice respite from what seems like two plus years of ever evolving self discovery.

Part of the lull is that it is summer and our son is home from school and our middle son, who is in college, is in and out at unpredictable times.  Much of our TTWD is relegated to the evenings, behind closed doors, or occasional trips to John and Donna’s for added privacy when needed.  

FOCUS ON KAYLA
Over the last three weeks most of the focus on TTWD has been on Kayla.  
She had an amazing experience with the Immersion, and really discovered some fetishes that she enjoys.  She likes to play “little girl,” to the extent of wearing a diaper, but not all the time.  She also likes serving Mike in more intense and continual ways.   She has always served him, but lately she is always at the ready to do any and everything for him.  She likes to bathe him, shave him (mostly his face, but not always, hee hee), and well, be his receptacle in ways you can surly imagine. 

She is extremely focused on anticipating his needs and moves in a flash when he expresses any need.  I imagine if I didn’t know the situation as I do, that I would think she was under Mike’s spell.  

I’ve talked to her about this.  I assume there is a threshold where perhaps this can be unhealthy.   I don’t know what the threshold is, and she certainty hasn’t crossed it, but it’s out there somewhere.  She functions fine when he is not around, and she hasn’t allowed anything harmful to happen to her (not that I think Mike would harm her).   My concern is that the trust she puts in Mike, although well deserved and earned, may lead her to believe she can place this type of trust in other men in the future.   She very well may be able to do that, but she needs to keep her senses and sense of self.  

When I talk to her about this she admits she thrives on losing herself to Mike.  She reiterated her “Manifesto” to me.  She admits she has no sense of self, only a sense of him.  She recognizes our situation is unique and feels this is a safe and nurturing environment and she would “snap out of it” if she ever felt otherwise.   She says it is that sense of safety and sense of nurturing that allows her to lose herself.  Otherwise, she wouldn’t do it.  So, that’s that.

NOT WANTING
In some ways I’ve had fewer “submissive” needs over the last several weeks.  I’ve had some spankings and other punishments, but nothing out of the ordinary – and I am not left wanting.   My “balance” has allowed me to focus more on Kayla, to talk with her and guide her, and to be a sufficient proxy when Mike is not around.  I haven’t always been in a mood for that, but lately, it’s just seems very natural and easy for me.

Not wanting.  That really sums up my feelings lately.  I am happy with where things are we me, with Mike, with our household.  And when things are going well it makes it easy to give your energy to others.  Lately, that energy has been on Kayla.  I am happy for her and happy that I am able to give her that.    

KAYLA THE MASTER?
She starts school soon.  That will be an interesting transition.  She has spent so much of the last seven months with us old folks.  The return to the environment, routines, and demands of school may be a shock to her system.

Oh, and Kayla is starting a Masters program.  We joke whether or not it is appropriate for a submissive to get their Masters?!   Of course we are kidding, as a sub can be as educated as they wish to be, it’s just, do they have to call it a Masters?

ADDENDUM: It dawned on me after posting this, that Kayla is showing all the signs and symptoms of Sub Frenzy!  Can’t believe I didn’t recognize that sooner.  Ah, to be in frenzy!! 

NEXT: 154. RIDING THE WAVE

 

 

118. The Stick of Truth, Part II

sotpart2

I had to break this up to two posts (actually will be three!) as I wanted to share some of the details.  You’ll have to read the prior post to understand where this picks up.  It’s not like me to share this level of detail, but, I thought it was important in understanding what we went through, and, it was kinda fun writing about it!  

Before I get back to the story, a quick observation that Kayla made about my posts.  She noticed I always refer to Mike as “Mike”, or to myself as “Jen” when sharing the dialogue that went on between us.  The truth is, when we talk to Kayla both Mike and I will refer to the other as “Sir” or “Ma’am.”  So I might say to Kayla, “Sir wants us to such and such…” instead of “Mike wants us to…”    However, when I write about it, I always refer to the statement as “Mike wants us to…”   I am not sure why that is, but I prefer to keep it that way. I told Kayla that I think it is because I want to remind y’all (yes, I say y’all – I am from Texas after all) that our lifestyle doesn’t change the fact we are just Mike and Jen.   Anyway, I thought it was interesting as I never consciously made that decision.  I never even noticed until Kayla pointed it out.  I plan to keep referring to us that way.  Okay, back to what happened.

BACK TO WHAT HAPPENED
After dinner Mike helped me clean up, which is rare, but not unheard of.  He then asked me to tend to getting J’s evening wrapped up and getting him to bed and he would go “check on Kayla.”  He then added, “Then we all have some things to discuss, don’t we?”
I knew Kayla said something to him and I wasn’t sure what all he meant by “checking on Kayla.”  I was concerned that she told him everything and he was going through with the punishment.  I asked him if we could talk and he said no, we could talk after J was asleep.
He then added, “And don’t go to our room or Kayla’s until J is down for the night.”  I reluctantly gave a “Yes, Sir.”

As it was explained to me, Mike went to Kayla’s room.  She apparently had been crying quite a bit and between the tears and the slobber was quite a mess.  He didn’t say anything for some time.  He rummaged through her “toy chest” and did not respond when she asked, “Is that you, Sir?” (she was blindfolded).   He eventually walked over to her and pulled up hard on the chains attached to the nipple and clit clamps and finally said, “Yes, it is me.  I am pondering an appropriate way to respond to your transgression.”

He took off her blindfold and removed the clamps, but left the ball gag in.  He then attached these nifty suckers we have (called the Fusion Triple Suckers, I recommend them!).  He put one on each nipple and her clit and then just stared at her for a while, occasionally ratcheting the suckers another half turn.  He told her that she was going to have to stay there until J was down for the night, which could be an hour or more.  She mumbled something through the gag so he removed it.   She said she had to pee.  He asked her if she could hold it and she said not that long.  He said he would be back soon and he left the room.

He returned with some hospital grade absorbent bed pads.  We had some left over from years of J having incontinence issues at night (that issue eventually resolved itself).  Oh – and he also brought a glass of water.    He told her she could try to hold it, but in the event she could not, she would just have to go in her bed.  He lined some pads underneath her and laid another one over waist. He then said, “drink all of this quickly,” as he handed her the glass of water.  She didn’t object and simply responded, “Yes, Sir” and drank the glass of water.  Mike then put the ball gag and blindfold back on her and he removed the sucker that was on her clit.  As he left the room he then told her someone would return once J was down.

This particular gag has a ball that is fairly medium-sized.  Large enough to cause a lot of drool, but small enough that your jaw is not stuck wide open when using it. Also, the ball is soft and does not go much past the teeth..  You can partially close your mouth if you bite down really hard.  Lastly, we are always sure to leave the person’s head free to move from side to side.  All of this is in the name of safety as you want to prevent all possible breathing obstructions if leaving a gagged person alone.   Even with all of this, having it in more than 15 or 30 minutes will leave you with a sore jaw.  She already had it in at least 45 minutes before her brief respite.

Mike didn’t say a word to me when he returned from checking on Kayla.  I was tempted to ask him or say something, but I knew he would not appreciate it as clearly he is choosing not to say anything to me about it, plus, I knew it would not make for family dinner conversation.  I think he knew his silence was driving me crazy.  I had no idea what Kayla had told him or what Mike was having Kayla do.  It was a bit a mind fu*k by Mike.   I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t worrying about Kayla.

I did my best to encourage my son to go to bed, but it was still another hour and half before he did so.  When I told Mike that J was asleep, he told me to go check on Kayla.  He told me that her room may be “a bit messy” and to not mind the mess and just get Kayla cleaned up.  He told me to remove whatever Kayla has on her, except the blindfold, and to take her into the shower and get her clean. He told me to tell her that she is not to speak until he speaks to her.  In addition, after I tell her that, I am not to speak another word to her.  He further instructed that once Kayla was clean I was to remain clothed, sit down, and instruct Kayla to get over my knees.  We would both remain silent and remain in that position until he comes into the room and gave further instructions.

I went to Kayla’s room saw the soaked pads across her lap and on her bed. I also saw her nipples and areolas were purple (not a heavy purple, but purple none-the-less) from the extended wear of the suckers.  Her pillow, neck, and chest and sides were wet with drool.  I removed the suckers and ball gag and although I hadn’t said anything, I guess she sensed my touch as she immediately said, “Thank you, Ma’am.”  I grabbed a tee shirt from her drawer and wiped her down a bit and told her she is not to speak until Mike comes. I didn’t explain what I was doing as I led her from her room into our bathroom and into the shower.  As I showered her off, she never said a word and just stoically stood.  The only reaction she gave was a quick wince when I wiped her chest, as apparently her nipples were a bit sore from the extended use of the suckers.  Mike probably didn’t anticipate the issue with the blindfold and the shower.  It was able to stay on during the shower, but it was soaked.  When I dried her off I tried my best to dry the blindfold without removing it.  Having that wet thing pressed against her face was just one more discomfort she would have endure.  I got dry and instructed her to get over my knee and we would wait for Mike.

I kept waiting for Kayla to say something.  I was impressed and amazed that Kayla never said a word. She was told not to speak until Mike spoke to her, and she was obeying without fail.  She was not teary eyed and was very calm.  Her vibe actually made me feel a bit better as it gave me a sense that she was enjoying this.  Not sure why I sensed that.  She wasn’t smiling or seemed very expressive in any way.  Perhaps it was hard to read her feelings because the blindfold covered her eyes, but I still picked up a stoic and calm demeanor from her. 

Mike came into the room and immediately told me to start spanking Kayla with my hand and not stop until he said to.  I began spanking her and several times Mike told me to spank harder or faster, so I did.  Kayla was now much more animated, flailing a bit.  Mike told her that every time her hand reached back to block mine or to try to rub her ass, he would add another five minutes to the spanking.  I did my best to spread the whacks around.  My hand and arm was growing tired and finally Mike told me to stop after what seemed like around ten minutes.  At the pace I was spanking her, that was probably 800 or so spankings.  Her ass was a bright cherry red. 

She couldn’t have received that spanking six weeks ago with J in the house.  This type of spanking used to require one of us to take her over to John and Donna’s (they have been very accommodating).  Kayla is a crier, and while she still almost always cries when spanked, she is a bit more muted and muffled with her noises.  Still lots of tears, but not as much wailing.

Mike then handed me a bottle of lube and told me to finger Kayla’s ass, something I never did before.  Mike re positioned her over my knee so that her ass was more squarely in my lap and she had to prop her arms on the floor to maintain her balance.  As gently and with as much lube as possible, I did as I was told.  My mind was thinking about how there has been an increasing amount of incorporating sex and other physical acts into punishments, something that used to be separate for us.   While some of this was just a slow and natural progression of my DD, I recognized that this particular act was directly due to Kayla’s past requests to be more dominated.

Even though I was using quite a bit of lube, I could tell her pussy was very wet on its own, which I thought of as another sign that she was enjoying this to some degree.  At some point Mike walked over and told me not to stop.  He pulled his pants down and his cock out, walked around, and lifted Kayla a bit by the shoulders so her head was better positioned to reach his cock.  He told me to keep fingering and get “that ass ready for me” as Kayla sucked away on Mike. 

He soon dropped Kayla back down so she was once again had her arms propping her up. He walked to the other side of her and told me to spread her ass.  I’ve been present when Mike and Kayla had anal sex, but not from this vantage point.  Mike entered inside her and while a nice tight fit, it went in fairly easy.   I actually enjoyed this position.  I could feel Kayla’s heartbeat through my thighs, she was making pleasurable soft groans, and I could see that Mike was enjoying it.  Add to that the nice visual I had of watching it closely go in and out, and I had forgotten we were even in a punishment session.   It wasn’t long before Mike came inside her ass.

He then told her and I to stand up. He embraced all of us and said that this concluding the punishment “for now.”  He wanted us to have a good nights rest and tomorrow there would be a second part to this punishment.  Although it not a day that Kayla was scheduled to sleep in our bed, Mike told her she would sleep with us tonight.  He said there would not be any sex, just so loving cuddling.   I think he knew that after the intensity of the last several hours that Kayla endured, it would be rough to just say, “Goodnight, now get to your bedroom.”  That just wouldn’t be proper aftercare.

He removed her blindfold and told her she would need to find another one (we have several) to wear to bed.  He wanted her to wake up in darkness and keep the blindfold on in the morning until he told her to remove it.  We all embraced and lovingly kissed each other for several minutes.  We then resumed our evening routines and soon it was bedtime and that was that. 

Unlike a normal Rewards Ceremony, Mike never asked Kayla or me to state what the transgression was.  And he never asked about what happened in the day that caused me to spank Kayla.  I was still in the dark as to what he knew or what was said between he and Kayla.   I was assuming the punishment she got was due to the cussing, but was a bit confused since it didn’t conform to what I expected.  Mike didn’t punish me or scold me in any way, so what was this all about?  I felt like reminding him that he said that there was something we were going to discuss, so, what was it?  However, I didn’t want to ruin the moment and he clearly was content with the state of things at the moment.  I didn’t see any reason to potentially disrupt that.

NEXT:  119. The Stick of Truth, Part III.