329. More Immersion 2019: Playing with Friends

This is a continuation of my prior post. No cutesy-intro with a clever non-sequitur this time.  I heard that!!! Who just said, “Since when has Jen been clever?” Was it you?

I am going to have to break this up into two more posts.  That’s how fun Immersion 2019 was!  LOL.

CONSENSUAL NONCONSENT
The ConNonCon was clearly the “big deal” of our Immersion.  It’s what we talked most about leading up to Immersion, and the activity that gave us the most reservations.  Not reservations as in, “people signing up in advance.”  Reservations as in, “concerns.”  Although come to think of it, we did have some advance sign-ups.

I will wait until my next post to share that experience.   Such a tease!!

PLAYING WITH OTHERS
We had a steady stream of guests during our stay at the “place in the woods.”  John and Donna, Matt and Jillian, Mister and Nurse Ann, Kim and TJ, Chelsea and Jaime, and Valerie and Raul.

All 15 of us weren’t together at the same time.  Partly due to each couples personal schedules and party by design.  We felt some of them wouldn’t be comfortable with certain people or things that would be going on and wanted to gear our activities more towards where they were in their kinky journeys.   How thoughtful of us!!

My prior post shared the role Mister and Nurse Ann had in this year’s Immersion in that it was basically a repeat of last year. In addition to the nursing, Kayla and I enjoyed some sex with Mister!   Mister and Nurse Ann spent about half a day with us.

John and Donna spent more than a day and spent one of the nights with us.  We didn’t explore anything dramatically new in our “friendship” sans the ConNonCon.  So yeah, a lot of swapping around and 5-person group stuff.   Typical boring routine.

Kim and TJ spent an entire day with us but didn’t spend the night, arriving early one morning and leaving late that evening.  John and Donna were there for about half of the day that Kim and TJ were there.

Kim has basically taken on a Domme role with TJ.  I’d call it, Domme-light…or maybe Domme-medium?  Definitely the top in the relationship.   Kim and TJ looked to our Immersion as their own excuse to try more new stuff.  Kink is still very new to them.  4 months ago they rarely had sex and when they did it was “akin to a funeral procession and now… it’s a circus.”  (Those are Kim’s words, not mine).

While we have had sex in front of each other, up until Immersion Kim and TJ didn’t directly play with others.  The did that day.  Me, Donna, and Kayla all had sex with Kim.  At first Kim said TJ could not touch another woman, but eventually relented and allowed him to perform and receive oral.  Turns out she didn’t do it out of any objection to sharing him.  She just wanted to tease and torture him a bit.

The new experience for me was that Kim let me try out her strap-on on TJ.  I’ve never fucked a guy before!  I am still not sure how I feel about it.

I’ve used a strap-on on Kayla and Donna before.  I like it – not tops on my list but definitely not averse to it.  But on a man?  I felt disconnected.  I guess it just feels too dominating for my submissive tastes.  And the fact it was TJ had something to do with it.  He’s a bit odd in my book.  I am not emotionally attached to him in any way.   Oh well, at least I can check that off the fuckit list!

Kim did say that Those Things We Did (as we now refer to our Immersion activities with them), were limited to Immersion.  She didn’t want them to be part of our regular interactions.  Just experimenting and having fun and now the experiment and fun are over.  Well, at least the experiment part, and she added, “…at least until next time.”

 Chelsea and Jaime joined us one mid-afternoon to the evening when it was just me, Mike, and Kayla.  There’s a bit more to this story that I need to post about regarding Chelsea’s and Kayla’s trip to New York that was part of our graduation gift to Kayla.   Let’s just say there was a little friction in our collective friendship, but not to the point that Chelsea and Jaime weren’t welcomed, nor did it preclude them from wanting to come.

Immersion helped us put that friction behind us.  The five of us rarely get together.  It’s mostly Mike talking/texting with Jaime, or Mike going over to their place to help Jaime with an issue related to DD.  Mike is clearly Jamie’s mentor, and in mentoring Jaime also ends up mentoring Chelsea to some degree.  Chelsea has a massive crush on Mike, which is part of the friction I referred to and will cover on another post.  Kayla also goes out a lot with Chelsea and sometimes with both Chelsea and Jaime.  Up until Immersion the three of them never had sex together.   Immersion changed that.

The three of them had a threesome.  Neither I nor Mike participated in that.  There was talk of Chelsea having sex with Mike, but Jaime never seemed fully on board.  Mike could sense it and had the restraint to squash the idea.  It’s complicated to explain, but if it doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t right.

Valerie and Raul joined us for an early dinner and hung out for the evening before heading home.  I shared before that they’ve been seeking a threesome but hadn’t found the right person.  I always thought Donna would be a good fit for them.  I’d be happy to help a friend out myself, but I think it would mess with our friend vibe and our vibe when we hung out with our other mutual friends.  Plus, I just sense Valerie doesn’t look at me that way or has hang-ups about Raul having sex with me.   Whatever, I respect it.

As part of inviting them to our Immersion, I explained what it was.  If they joined us, the idea was they would explore their own kinks.  It didn’t mean they had to have sex with us – it could just be something the two of them explore.   No rules about what they were expected to do with whom, just that they should look at it as an opportunity to explore.  Basically, I explained the full menu and they could order a la carte.

Long story short – they had a threesome with Donna.   Details at 11.

Just kidding.  This post is long enough.  Use your imagination.  I have to because I wasn’t invited and wasn’t there to witness it.  But I did get the first-hand accounts and get to see the after-glow.  Apparently, it went well!

Phew.  If our Circle of Trust gets any larger, I’ll need to rent an auditorium!  Maybe get some sponsors, vendors, and side-shows.   Immersion-Con 2020!   Are you in?

316. Our Sex Club

I didn’t set off to be a teller of Kim’s story.  I wanted to share her background because it was interesting to me and before you know it, I overshared a bit.  Oh well, too late now. 
But finally, this will bring you up to where things are today. 

So about a month or so after Kim watched us have sex, she sat down with me all excited and energized.  She said she believes she has worked the kinks out  – oh, wait, not a good choice of words as the kinks have been worked in, not worked out.  Ahem.  She believes she has resolved her hang-ups with sex.   In her words, “I had a revelation!”

KIMS REVELATION
I already mentioned that Kim started masturbating regularly.  She soon told her husband he could watch, after all, she had been watching him masturbate for years.  That led to them having sex, and more sex.  More in a week than they had in the prior year.   And Kim said it was different than any sex they previously had.   She was not only the one initiating it for the first time ever, but actually directing it.  Telling her husband to do this, or do that.  She said it was the first time she felt like SHE was having sex.  That it was something she was doing, not something simply being done to her. 

And her revelation?   Actually, there were two. 

1. She enjoys being in control.  And more than that, she enjoyed a dominant role in the bedroom.   And apparently, TJ was happy to oblige, or more precisely, submit! This didn’t change her mindset out of the bedroom.  Nothing changes in day-to-day life, but she became the master of their bedroom domain.
2. She loves watching others. More precisely, she enjoys watching us, but the thought of watching anyone turns her one.  As much as I am an exhibitionist, she is a voyeur.  And she added, “And I think it is more than to just watch.  The thought of directing people and telling them what to do to each other really turns me on.

Kim said it was strange for her to say something turns her on sexually.   The idea of it is so foreign to her as well as a thrill for her.  She said she not only is able to let loose in the bedroom but can’t wait to do so.  She gets turned on just thinking about it.  Such a feeling is completely new to her – not that she is complaining!!

MORE THAN A FEELING
Kim said it goes just beyond “feeling it.”  She has this drive to act on it.  Something she never ever felt before, even remotely.

This led me to ask, “It’s great to hear that TJ is onboard and willing to accept a role in the bedroom that also suits you.  As for liking to watch others or even directing others, do you have something in mind with how you can fulfill that?  And yes, I am willing to ask Mike if we can submit our application to you.” 

Kim served up her best Jen-like response that made me smile.   

“Well, your credentials are good and you seem to be a good fit – culturally speaking of course.  You have clearly shown you can work well in a team environment and go into a project with a well-defined entry and exit plan.  Yes, you all can definitely fill a lot of holes.  From what I’ve seen, you have great manual skills.  I don’t know your writing skills, but we aren’t really in need of that.  It’s your excellent oral skills that I value.  To top it off, your interest and excitement level is infectious.  Oh!  Oops, that’s probably not a good word to use.  Your interest and excitement level is superb!  Yeah, that’s better.  If you submit your application I can talk with TJ and see what comes of it.”

“So,” I replied, “this is one job opportunity I don’t want to blow.  Oh wait.  Maybe I do?  Whatever.  You know you can count on me to bend over backwards, or forwards if you like, to get the blow. . . um, I mean, to get the job done.”

See why I Kim and I get along?  We have very similar humor.

THE GROUP TEASE
Ultimately, after Kim and TJ talked and I talked with Mike and Kayla, here’s where things are.  We are NOT having sex with Kim and TJ, but, they do have sex in front of us, and us in front of them.  There’s been some steamy play that seems to point toward an inevitable exploration into some swapping, but it hasn’t happened yet.  I think we are all enjoying getting right up to the line but not crossing it just yet.   We refer to it as a “group tease.”   Each of us sort of sexually teasing the other to see who can be enticed to cave first.   It’s a really fun game that we all enjoy. 

Kim is definitely a bit of a dom in the bedroom with TJ.  She has a new favorite toy, a strap on, that TJ is into accepting from her.  She definitely likes to be in control and have the power in the bedroom.   And it’s so great to see her comfortable and confident in demonstrating and exploring that desire.  Kim and TJ have even joined us at John and Donna’s a few times. 

Oh, and Matt has a girlfriend who is also part of our Circle of Trust.   And Raul and Valerie make an occasional guest appearance, and like Kim and TJ they don’t swap but they definitely have plenty of sexual fun.

Who needs FetLife or a swingers club?  We have our homegrown sex club!
Orgy for 11!  Your table is ready!

Next: 317.  Contrast on a theme of sexual aesthetics

215. Super Bowl Sinday, er, Sunday

I wrote before about John and Mike’s Sunday ritual of watching football together.  This occurs mostly at John’s house because adult fun is often part of the ritual. (Post 69. Are you ready for some football?!?).     

Kayla and I don’t always make it over for Sunday football.  It depends on whether J is going to be home all day or not.  Regardless, Donna is always there to keep the guys “entertained.”  However the Super Bowl is another thing altogether.  J always spends the day with my sister and his cousins as he despises football (and sports in general, but that’s another story).   My point is, we are free on Super Bowl Sunday.  Back to that in a moment.

INVITING MICHAUD?
Early last week Kayla asked Mike if Michaud could join in on Football Sunday for this past Sunday (January 21).   In other words, she was asking us to include Michaud in what we like to call our “Circle of Trust,” (those in which we engage in sexual activity).  This prompted a lot of conversation among all three of us.  Ultimately Mike said no, but agreed to be open to the idea.

We have made it a point for Kayla to keep her relationship with Michaud distinct and separate from her relationship with us.  Of course, how separate can it really be when Michaud is aware of her dynamic with us?   Still, that’s not the same as including him in our play. 

Kayla did not tell Michaud about this as she needs Mike’s permission first.  Our assumption is he will jump at the chance, but maybe not.  He is a different kind of guy and he just may not to see Kayla in her submissive state, both in general and sexually.  Assuming he is in, he has no idea what he is in for.

The sex we have at John and Donna’s is different from what we have at home in our bedroom.  Us women are very submissive, the sex is more play, and often extended play.  It can include scenes and BDSM related activities.  We are often explicitly told what to do.  Imagine how intense it would be for Michaud and in stark contrast to the Kayla he knows.

It surprised us that Kayla wants to show him this side of her.  It will alter his perceptions of her – and there is huge potential that it would be negative.  Kayla has to think about the impact this has to their day-today relationship.  It will not be possible to simply go back to being the Kayla that Michaud is used to today.  In her submissive state she looks to Mike for instruction and permission for everything. 

What would Michaud make of her being under Mike’s control?

Would he begin to think he should behave like Mike?

How does it impact Michaud if he were to ask something of her and she looks to Mike for permission?

Being unfamiliar with our protocol, what if he does something that requires Mike to tell Kayla to ignore what Michaud said or requires Mike to correct Michaud?

What if nothing negative occurs, then what?  What are Michaud’s new expectations regarding Kayla’s behavior towards him or in his future involvement with Mike and I?

What if Mike decides he doesn’t want him around in the future?  That would be crushing for Kayla and very awkward for the two of them going forward.

KAYLA PERSISTS
Despite this, Kayla still wants to do it.  She feels if it somehow leads to diminishing their relationship, then “let it diminish.”  While she loves being with him, she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship that can’t handle this side of her.  She feels she has kept it from him long enough.

She shared that the two of them have talked about having sex with others, such as a threesome together or without the other one being there.  She said it was those conversations that got her to believe it would be good to invite him over for football.

She said she accepts all the various possible outcomes, even the bad ones.  The “good” that she sees coming from this is that it shows all of herself to Michaud.   Yes, it will hurt if he rejects her, but she knows she will get over it and it will be for the best.  If he doesn’t reject her, then all the better.

SIXTH ATTENDEE?
Another wrinkle is that Mike already invited Matt over to watch the Super Bowl.  Thus, there will be three men and three women – adding Michaud means a fourth man, plus, two of them would be new to our group.  It may be too awkward or weird for everyone.  

Seeing your girlfriend have sex with another man and woman is a lot to take in.  Is it wise to start off with three other men, one of which is her Dom, and two other women?   

HUMAN PRETZEL
It isn’t lost on us that Kayla desires to have multiple men at one time (Post 141.).  While Mike previously stated he would not be pursuing that for her (Post 146), that was almost eight months ago.  Allowing Kayla to experience this was one of Mike’s motivations for inviting Matt over.

We talk so openly about sex it is normal for us to talk about physical logistics of sex with multiple men.  We talked about how different it is to go from two to three – where all three holes can be filled – which is part of her fantasy.   And now we would have a fourth!?!  What if she finds she doesn’t like three, let alone four?  While she is very sexually confident,  what if she finds reality isn’t matching the fantasy?  What if she is uncomfortable or feels humiliated?  It can become very emotional.  Would she want Michaud to see that? 

WHY SAY YES?
It is clear Kayla wants the experience.  That desire may be blinding her to the potential risks.  Or perhaps, not.  She seems to WANT to put her relationship with Michaud to this test.

Even though she won’t (can’t) admit it, it could be she doesn’t care if it sabotages the relationship.  Things you do to put a relationship at risk are often more of a subconscious thing.  You won’t realize you want out, but deep down something drives your behavior to get you out.   Not saying that is happening here, but, it is a possibility.

There is also an element to their relationship that has Mike and I concerned.  In some ways she looks at Michaud as a plaything.  Something to pass her time and experiment with.  Nothing wrong with that IF he understands that and is looking for the same out of her.  The point is, we just don’t know because we don’t know him. 

I’ve given Mike my feedback, which seems to be consistent with his thoughts on this, and I await his decision.

UPDATE:  Before finishing this post, Mike’s decision is in.   

The answer is, “No, but….let’s get to know Michaud better.”

He won’t be there for the game.  But we are going to invite him over to our house as a guest…no sex, no D/s, nothing like that.  Just a meet and greet, followed by more interactions with him, however many it takes for us to get a good read on him.  Getting into the “circle of trust” is a process.

He won’t be a full-fledged member of our Circle of Trust, but we can at least start the process for membership – ha!   

P.S. Submissive Rule Book Check
When Mike tells me to give him my input on this issue, I give it.  If he doesn’t seek it, I don’t and I accept his decision.  When required to give my opinion, I try to be as clear and concise as possible about the level of my convictions.  I may say, “I can go either way….” (and give him my pros and cons), or I may say, “I prefer…” or, “I strongly recommend…”  While my words are used to influence him, it is acceptable because by seeking my opinion, he has given me permission to try to influence him.

While not required, it also helps him in explaining his decision.  If he decides contrary to something I felt strongly about, he takes the time to provide me more explanation than he would if it were something I could go either way with.   This helps us to stay “calibrated” in our motivations and thoughts about a variety of everyday issues. You know, everyday issues like, “should we add a sixth person to our sex party?”

NEXT: 216. In Search of Spanking