Tag Archives: open relationship

98. Three’s Company Housekeeping

housekeeping

I thought I’d share some various “housekeeping” issues that we have had to address with Kayla soon moving in.  I am sure we will discover there are more things we have to tackle once she is here, but her are the topics we’ve thought about and discussed thus far.

Sleeping arrangements
Kayla is moving into the bedroom adjacent to our master bedroom.  I’ve shared the layout (Post 80-Breakthrough) of our rooms before but will recap again.  This bedroom is actually attached to the master with its own entry way after you have entered the master bedroom.  It was designed to serve as a nursery.  We had the option of putting a door in the hallway so it was indeed a completely separate bedroom, or putting the door within the master bedroom.   The way we designed it is that there are large double doors that lead into the master and immediately to the left when you walk in is another door into what will be Kayla’s room.  To the right is one more door that leads to our master.  It sounds way more opulent that it is.  Suffice to say, in many ways we are sharing the bedroom with Kayla.

Of course this may raise questions from family members.  We have J’s room, our middle son’s room, and Mike’s office.  So unless Mike moved his office, there really wasn’t another choice.  And there is sufficient privacy for Kayla’s room that gives us “plausible deniability” regarding any suspicions of hanky-panky.  Our middle son, I’ll call him T2 (because T1 would be our eldest), is practically on his own.  T2 is in college and only spends maybe a month out of the year with us but still needs a room to call home.

The reality is Kayla will sleep with us most nights.  Our king sized bed will comfortably accommodate three adults.

Sex
There are no specific rules around sex.  The three of us are free to have sex with any one of the other two.  Neither Mike nor Kayla are compelled to tell me about any sex they have, nor are they discouraged from doing so.  It is up to them and I see no reason that I must know every time they do something together.

Outside relationships?
We told Kayla she is free to date as she wishes.  At this point she says she has no interest in doing so and is committed to focusing on our relationship with her.  She will let us know if it happens and she promises to practice safe sex.

Birth control and that time of the month?
I believe I mentioned before that Mike has had a vasectomy and I had an “oblation” procedure that basically stops me from having a period.   Coincidentally, John also had a vasectomy and Donna had the same procedure I did.  Thus, we have not had to give any thought to this before Kayla.   Kayla has been on birth control but is stopping it.  She says she doesn’t like the way it makes her feel and she sees no reason for it as long as she is exclusive with us.  It is her choice and we are fine with it.  We also have to modify things regarding her nakedness, punishments, and sex when she is on her period.  Just one of those things when you are a young and fertile sub!

Money
Kayla’s father provides her a nice monthly allowance and said he would continue to do so as long as she returns to school in the fall.  Kayla has held a part-time job before, but hasn’t been working lately.  She really wants to spend a lot of time volunteering the first half of the year with a local pet rescue association.   We are charging her a nominal rent, and her car is paid for, so she does not have that many expenses and will be fine with what her father is providing her.

Date Nights?
As Kayla was one of our go-to babysitters, what now?  Is it fair to leave her home while Mike and I go out?   We all decided that it was, but, would also give Kayla some one-on-one time.  Once a month we will have a girls-night-out with just her and I.  Donna may join us depending on what we are doing.  Once a month Mike and I will have a date night that is just the two of us.  No Kayla, no John and Donna.   Once a month Mike and Kayla will have a date night and I’ll stay home.   That typically leaves one extra weekend where the three of us will go out together and I’ll get my sister to watch J.

To avoid suspicion we may have to get clandestine about it.  Perhaps Kayla leaving on her own to “go out with friends” and then we meet up with her.  Whatever, we will figure it out.

Five’s a crowd?  John/Donna?
Kayla is not interested in sex with John and Donna.   At some point she may change her mind and want to be more involved but she says she just wants to hang out with the four of us and just observe.   Both Mike and I think that is a great idea as there is enough for Kayla to adjust to for now.   We don’t want her to feel left out and we don’t want her to feel compelled to have sex out of a feeling of being left out.  We will have to watch her reaction and stay sensitive to her needs.  We love our time with John and Donna but Kayla will come first. (Or perhaps in this scenario, come last – ha!  That was a sex joke just in case you missed it).

Maintenance Sessions/Punishments
I mentioned in Post 94-Kayla’s Contract, that Kayla wants a daily Maintenance Session, at least at first.   That, plus any punishments she may get will both pose a potential problem.  As we have already experienced, Kayla is a crier and a pretty loud one at that.   While our room is pretty far from J’s room, the noise is just too much.   We encourage Kayla to be as loud as she needs to be, thus we don’t want her to feel pressured to muffle it.  We talked with John and Donna and they agreed that when necessary we can send Kayla over to their house to await a punishment.   They even suggested that she simply knock on the door and state that she is being punished, nothing else.  They will let her in without speaking further to her.  She will take her clothes off and go stand in a corner and wait for Mike.  While she would be in their full view while waiting the corner, Mike and Kayla will go into one of their bedrooms when it is time to spank her.

Kayla dreads the idea of this but at the same time said she was thrilled by it.  Of course, we also had to address logistics such as letting John and Donna know what was up if they weren’t home (as Kayla will let herself in and we need to make sure John and Donna aren’t expecting company.  Also, in the event it isn’t convenient to John and Donna there will just have to be a deferred punishment.

Third-wheel syndrome?
Let’s face it. The level of commitment that Mike and I share will always surpass the level between Mike and Kayla or Kayla and me.   That’s just the reality of it and we all felt we had to address it head on.  Being the bookworm she is, Kayla has read a lot about polyamory and says she knows what she is getting into and is prepared.  She recognizes that she is in a bit of a honeymoon phase, as we all are with her, and can’t predict where emotions will lead any of us.  She says she has no delusions about us being Mr. and Mrs. Right.  As cold as it may sound, she cherishes the fact that we are most definitely Mr. and Mrs. Right Now.  She has expressed many times how lucky she feels to be a part of us and how excited she is to be on this journey.  As she puts it, she knows we are but one chapter, maybe two or three, of what is to come with her life but we are not the entire book.

Privacy
She will have her own room with her things and can request some private time when she needs it, as long as it does not include crying (see Post 93-Post Inspection).  Also, we purchased her a large chest with a lock.  She can store her journal and sex toys. Speaking of which . . .

Toys / Paddles – Her’s, Mine, and Ours
I mentioned in Post 94-Kayla’s Contract, that we talked about getting some new spanking implements and toys just for Kayla.  We can share some things, but we both liked the idea of having our own.  Kayla and I already did some online shopping together and she picked up a vibe, plug, restraints, outfit, and a few paddles.   Oh, here is an interesting factoid about Kayla.  She has never owned a sex toy and has never done anal.  Oh, is that TMI?  I got her permission to share that!  Regardless, her lack of experience was more than offset by her curiosity and sense of adventure.  She picked out some great items!

Jealousy?
If you read my Post 79-Anxiety…Jealousy  or my  Post 87-There it Was, you know I am no stranger to jealousy or resentment.  I can honestly say I feel none of those things.  I think more correctly, I do not sense their presence.  I’ve learned that doesn’t mean they aren’t there, but in all good conscience,  I do not believe they are.  I am thrilled with how things have turned out thus far and am excited about where this is headed.   Like we remind Kayla, there are bound to be some missteps along the way but our intentions are pure and our hearts are open to the possibilities of what may come.

Any other logistics that we should address?

Next: 99.  Be Here Now Slut