Tag Archives: nudist

347. Update on the Fam

347

MY APOLOGY TO PERVS
I know the last post disappointed the voyeuristic-perv segment of my readers, which accounts for 92.4% of you.  (Totally made up stat, but likely highly accurate).   I am feeling self-conscious about my hedonism given all that’s going on in the world.   But I do want to remind you that self-care is more important than ever!  I am all for anyone finding ways to experience pleasure to balance the stress and suffering of world events.   But sharing the details of over-the-top sexual reveille strikes me as a bit distasteful.  But since when have I been tasteful?

So. . .  Just kidding.  I am not going to go into the details of my recent sexcapades.  In fact, this post will be for the 7.6% of you who are here to more deeply connect with an immensely witty and open-minded sexual adventurer.   Okay, okay.   I admit that statement was a bit of puffery.   It’s more like 0.6% of you. As for the other 7%, I have no idea why you are here.

And as for my wit?  Okay,  it just might be slightly less than “immense?”  No? 

Well, at least I don’t think anyone would argue over “open-minded sexual adventurer?”  Although I just heard someone fake cough the word “slut!”    Was that you?  Now now.

FAMILY FRIENDLY
How do I segue from “slut” to “family friendly?”   Like this.

I mentioned I would post an update on family and friends given my four-month blogging hiatus from Nov to Feb.  What I will do is share a little bit about things I learned about some of my friends as I provide an update about them.   But consider that a tease because this post will be a quick update about family. 

THE KIDDOS
T1 is 31. 
No major update.  He’s been married to E for about a year-and-a-half now. Their farm now consists of some pigs, chickens, peacocks, and five beehives.  Their farm is next door to E’s cousins,
the Nudies.   They both were able to easily transition to work from home and while their respective businesses have seen a decline in activity, their jobs appear secure.

T2 is 24. 
Continues to live in the San Diego area with his girlfriend and I suspect perhaps a Polycule.  They moved into a big house with another couple as a way to share rent and expenses and afford a really nice place.   His job is defense-related and is secure, but too secure as he still has to go into work.  The good news is his employer has taken extreme precautions and T2 says he feels safe.  Most of the time he doesn’t have to interact with anyone and when he does, they can maintain distance.

The four of them had planned to trip to visit us and those plans were postponed due to Corona.  T2 and his girlfriend, G, were going to visit and they had decided to bring their “friends” along since their friends have never been to our city.   I have this sense that there’s more going on with the four of them.  Maybe because it is how my mind works giving my lifestyle choices, but there are things T2 has said that leads me to believe it.  I figure that conversation may be best face-to-face.   We shall see!

J is now 19.
I can’t believe it.  I’ve shared before he has a disability.  He pretty much lives full time with T1 and E on their farm.  He comes home now and then (my house will always be “home”).  What started as a bit of an experiment has turned into his life.  He has become their farmhand and helps out the Nudies as well.  He may have grown up in suburbia, but he’s taken to country living.  He was totally fascinated with the bees and has taken to beekeeping as a passion of his.  The only reason they have so many hives now is because of J.

While he needs people close by, he has shown a tremendous level of independence that we once thought impossible.  Years of hard work and therapies have definitely paid off.   The plan is to build him his own place on the property.  Something that could serve as a guest house in the future, or his house for as long as needed.   Maybe something along the lines of Texas Flip and Move.  We had just started seriously looking into our options and then Corona hit.  So maybe in the fall?!?

J’s absence has given us an empty nest.  His room is still here and intact as he comes home now and then, but it clear, the bird has left the nest!   I must admit I feel a bit lost and a range of emotions from joy and pride, to a sense of loss as well.  Maybe for another post?

My sisters. 
I’ve shared many
posts about their questioning my lifestyle.   They still do from time to time.  Not in a judgey way, but their typical sister-love sort of way.  One of my sisters feigns disgust in my “corrupting” one of her daughters.   My niece was one of many family members who visited T1 and E shortly after they moved to the farm.

This “exposed” many of them to naturism for the first time as almost everyone decided to ditch their clothes while at the farm (any they still do whenever they visit).   My niece became hooked and identifies as a nudist now.  By the way, my sister doesn’t think ill of it at all.  It is completely a joke when she says I corrupted her daughter. 

GET NAKED!
As my niece experienced, naturism is addicting!   Everyone who has been to the farm and donned their birthday suit has only had positive things to say about the experience.   Most left the nudity on the farm, but some admitted to a quasi-nude lifestyle at home.  And my niece is all in, having visited a nearby nude lakeside beach many times with her friends (pre-Corona) and who is naked every chance she gets.

With all the isolation-in-place, you and yours should try going clothes-free around the house.  Saves on laundry!   Days can go by where we never put on a stitch of clothing.  The exceptions are whenever Mike or Kayla have to put something on for a video conference.     They both have been tempted to just dress from the waist up, but both fear that they are so comfortable being naked that they will forget and stand up during the conference.   As funny as that sounds, I don’t think their employers would be amused.   There have been stories like that already floating around as people forget their camera is rolling while having video-conferences.  Best that they do not become one of those stories.

NEXT – Real Subwives of Texas?
Next post will be for you pervs.  I will share some kinky things I learned from
Immersion and give a rundown of what my friends within our Circle of Trust are up to.    I feel a bit like Andy Cohen and Watch What Happens, Live.  Maybe Pornhub would want to get into producing content?   Real Subwives?   Sign me up!

NEXT: 348. Blogo, Blogi, Blog-Blog. A (semi) Self-indulgent Fourth Anniversary Post

336. Hello from the kinky side

336I GHOSTED YOU, BUT I AIN’T DEAD
I am happy to report I am not dead!  

I had a deep-seated need to disengage from my blog as well as from a handful of email buddies I’ve been fortunate enough to pick up along the way.  Honestly, I ghosted everyone online.  I know it’s mean.  Sorry, I could have easily just spent a few minutes with a short note, but I kept thinking, “I’ll post something this week.”  And then the weeks went by.   ONE ETERNITY LATER. . .

WHY?   
I am still unsure.  It was like a switch went off and nothing about my anonymous online life interested me.   I am not sure exactly why.  I think it was a multitude of factors which I will go through.   I will try to be a better “online friend” and at least share that a hiatus is self-imposed and nothing bad is going on. 

One of the influences of my growing disinterest is that I was having this increasing feeling of being exposed and vulnerable.  If you’ve read most of my posts you know me as an exhibitionist and vulnerability addict and one who is an over-sharer.   In fact, I think that was the very fuel that kept me posting.  But suddenly, it just didn’t give me the same reaction.  I wasn’t feeling exposed and vulnerable in a good way, but in the way that every post created a darker cloud of being susceptible to attack or harm.

To be clear, there have never been any outward threats and this feeling I had was mostly just in my head.   99.9% of comments and emails and interactions as a result of my blog have been positive.   You all have been great, comments are overwhelmingly positive, and the handful of email buddies have been great to interact with and get to know in a more meaningful one-on-one way.

Maybe it’s part of a mid-life crisis?   I started having this overwhelming need to protect the lifestyle I cherish and for some reason, I began viewing my blog as a threat.  I even considered deleting it, but Mike encouraged me not to “go nuclear” and give it time.  He was very reassuring and that means a lot to me given he is the one that is the privacy hawk and I am one that lets information flow like a sieve.

I am not sure what triggered my need to become so insular, especially when I am a lifelong over-sharer.   There are several things I can point to that all contributed to this hiatus.

  • I received ONE nasty comment from an anonymous person.  Typically I understand their perspective and look at it as an opportunity to respectfully disagree.  But this one triggered a “mama bear” type of reaction that made me want to not just defend my lifestyle but wrap my arms around it and run away saying, “Mine.  Leave me alone!”  I’ve always accepted that my lifestyle is abhorrent to many people. But for some reason, it suddenly mattered to me that they were attacking it.  It made me feel very protective of what I have.  What I have is amazing to me.  I cherish it and would never do anything to knowingly undermine it.
  • The next thing was my post about one million views as well as discovering I made list of top sex bloggers.   I was like #360-something out of 500.As for the million views –
  • I never started out with a goal to have lots of views.  I needed an outlet to organize my thoughts and think more deeply about my life.  It is amazingly therapeutic to have to think through and write what is meaningful to me, question my own motivations, and question whether the outcomes are truly fulfilling.   And being so bold as to put it out there for people to scrutinize actually added to that therapeutic value.
  • The increased views made me start worrying about being a “poster child” for any one aspect of my life.  A swinger, a submissive, a nudist, bisexual, polyamorous , etc.  It was as if I recognized that if someone has a problem with one element of the various terms that label me, they use it to reject the others.   I’ve written before that I don’t like writing much about nudism because I do the nudist community an injustice as many outside the community who don’t know better think it is about a bunch of pervy kinksters.  Then I started thinking maybe I do the same for bisexuals, or those who are poly, or those who are submissive, and so on.  I don’t want to be the fodder for the ignorance that is out there that fuels someone’s disgust for particular lifestyles.
  • As for the sex blogger list – it was on Kinkly (a fantastic website!).   At first, I thought it was cool (and I still do).  I’ve known about it for about a year, but suddenly, in combination with the one million views, the one negative comment, etc., it began to bother me.  It elicited that bad exposed and vulnerable feeling.
  • The “final straw” and probably the biggest catalyst to my ghosting everyone was that I was becoming increasingly aware of how lucky I am.  Call it a mid-life crisis moment!  Not as in a real crisis, but as in a taking inventory of what I have and appreciating it immensely!  I am largely worry-free in my life other than first-world problems.
  • My biggest lifetime worry has been about my special needs son, and as it turns out he has far exceeded every expectation regarding his self-reliance.  My other kids are doing well.  My marriage is incredibly strong and rewarding.  I get to love two amazing people in my marriage!  Our network of friends is full of close and rewarding relationships, albeit with some unique elements!  My prior post was about the potential powder keg of living an open lifestyle with several couples – yet we have navigated it well.

WHAT’S THE UPSIDE?
I think I started hearing myself repeat one of Mike’s often repeated phrases when it comes to sharing details of our lifestyle with others.  “
What’s the upside?”   While my blog is sufficiently anonymous, I’ve been more forthcoming with some personal details in some of my email friends I’ve met via this blog.  While I feel all of them earned my trust, it started to nag at me that maybe I am getting too comfortable with sharing certain details about myself.   But anything I shared was always with Mike’s approval, and he is the privacy king!   But as some of those online relationships evolved and headed to actually meeting them, I thought, “Why upset my apple cart with this wild card?  I have everything I need and adding another stick of dynamite can ruin what I have.”

I also started feeling like my blogging would be taking time away from living this life I’ve built.  Why blog about it when I could be living it?   And this was compounded by several things that have made my free time much more scarce (I hope to update you on those things, such as me working part-time!).  It truly got to the point that in order to consistently blog I knew I would have to take precious time away from something else.  I simply didn’t want to trade that time for blogging time, especially given the online world wasn’t exciting to me in any way.      

So what changed to prompt my post today? 

I CAN BALANCE
I realized I’ve been blogging for almost four years and have easily balanced my over-sharing nature with the needs for privacy (and Mike is ever watchful to ensure that stays in balance).   

IT FEELS GOOD
I still feel a therapeutic benefit from blogging.  See, I told you I am a bit selfish.  It’s about what I get from my blogging, not so much about what my readers get.  Sorry, just being honest, but I think everyone who blogs must first do it for themselves.

I NEED TO GET OVER MYSELF
Come on, this is still an obscure little blog that is not going to change the worldview for the worse regarding human sexuality and kink.  In whatever small way I know the net impact of my blog is positive.  Sure, it’s likely masturbatory fodder for some, but hey, everyone’s got needs!   As for me, I need to get over any thoughts that I am portraying everyone who fits into any one (or more) of my “labels.”  I am portraying me!  And I need to portray the exhibitionist-over-sharer that I am as much as I do any other aspect of myself.

IT’S EMPOWERING
I provides me a sense of validation to know what I write appeals to certain people (my kind of people!).   Kink is such a personal topic and can come with all sorts of negative baggage.  I hope my blog can help normalize sexual exploration.  To me “normalizing” things is what all blogs do.  They normalize and humanize our individual experiences, whether they be about something as salacious as kink, or as simple as shopping, baking, clothing, or a day-in-the-life.    Blogging connects us and validates us in ways other media can not.

We learn people are more than the sum of their parts.  We learn that underneath a particular avocation, kink, or interest, they are not a swinger, a submissive, a nudist, a bisexual woman, or a polyamorous wife.  I am just a much those things as I am a mom, a mom of a special needs child, a neighbor, a friend.   THAT’s the part of blogging that excites me.   That I can illustrate you can be all of that and NONE of that defines you.  What defines you are the relationships you forge with others, whether family or friends, or even anonymous online friends.

The written word leaves a lot to our imagination.  I know for the blogs I read the blogger becomes a living character to me.  They only share snippets of themselves and we are free to fill in the blanks to create a complete “character” that becomes our friend.  I like the idea of being one of those friends to you.   It intrigues me to know what blanks you fill in about me.  Hey, I heard that.  Come on, I am not into THAT kind of kink.

 While I doubt I will blog with the same intensity as before, I do plan to keep blogging.  I hope I can be a better online friend and not one who ghosts you again. One thing hasn’t changed.  I can take a topic that can be covered in a few paragraphs and I end up writing a short story!  Being non-succinct is just one of my endearing qualities! (so I have to tell myself).

NEXT: 337.  Outsourcing Domestic Discipline

296. Piercings and Pubes

296

If you haven’t figured out by now, I lack an ability to be succinct.   I am not one to say in a few words what I can exhaustively analyze, deconstruct, and put back together in hundreds of words.  See, even then I couldn’t just leave it as an inability to be succinct.

I thought this would be a quick post.  Simply to state that I let my nipple piercings close and have been growing my pubic hair.    

Done.  End of post!

Not.

JEN IS EMBARRASSED?
I am not one to normally feel self-conscious about things, whether it is what people think about TTWD, or about my appearance, or really about anything.   However – I found myself becoming more self-conscious about my nipple piercings and pubic hair.  

It’s ironic that our nudism was part of the trigger for this uneasiness.  After all, I’ve found that nudism makes you less self-conscious and more accepting of your body.   Yeah, I get it.  I can try to rationalize away my uneasiness, but sometimes, you just can’t.  You feel what you feel and you just have to deal!  Emotions don’t care about logic.   

Pre-nudism, my piercings and pubic hair were private and limited to the purview of those involved in TTWD.  But now that we are full-fledged nudists, well, it ain’t so private anymore!  And had a growing self-perception was that I was putting out a message that didn’t represent me or my thoughts.  Something had to change.  Those thoughts weren’t changing, so, the piercings had to go, and the hair had to return. 

HAIR DOWN THAIR
For the longest time, Mike had me and Kayla with the same “look” down there, whether it be hair or no hair.  But then Mike went through a phase where he had one of us sporting one look while the other sports another.  “Visual variety” as he calls it!   Um, okay, as if our different physiques weren’t visual enough.  Mine is not to question why.  Mine is but to do or get spanked!   lol

My self-consciousness over this started when I was bare and Kayla was bushy.  It started to feel to me like I was putting out the perception that I was trying too hard to do what the young folks do.  

And it wasn’t just my mind comparing myself to Kayla.  When we are at T & E’s farm, I am often the only one bare down there.   At times the 17-year old has been bare, but it messes with my mind either way.  When she is bare, I feel like I am trying to “style” myself after the teenager.  When she doesn’t, it compounds my self-consciousness that I am the odd one.  

NIFTY 50
Part of what was going through my mind is that I am going to be 50 later this year.  I also think 
my tattoo added another wrinkle to a weakened psyche.  Not to say a 50-year old can’t rock a new tat along with her nipple piercings and bare pussy. . . but THIS 50-year old?  Why do I want piercings drawing more attention to my vein-marbled-droopy-boobies along with looking like I am trying really hard to “compete” with Kayla?

Adding to what was influencing my emotions — I am only around naked women who are younger than me, and sometimes much younger.  Kayla is the 24-year old with the awesome figure, yet no nipple piercings.  (She did pierce her nipples and clit shortly after moving in with us, but let them close-up only after a few months).  

Again, I get it.  I know there is nothing wrong with anyone of any age piercing whatever they want to pierce, or having their pubic hair in whatever shape or length that they want, or getting a new tattoo at any age.    It was just for me, all this added up to something my psyche wasn’t comfortable with it. 

THE GUYS?
For whatever reason, the pube situation in the men and boys has no influence over my uneasiness.  If you are keeping score, you can mark down Mike as one who goes back and forth with his look.  Frankly, he would probably leave it grown out but Kayla enjoys shaving him and he never refuses when she asks.  And as for other menfolk, it’s a mixed bag of various looks from bare to full to all things in-between.  

MIKE’S SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
In discussing this with Mike, he shared that he also was starting to feel a bit self-conscious about the pube thing, but with Kayla.  H
e said the first time we were around others and Kayla was bare and I wasn’t, he started to think others might be inclined to think he wants Kayla to look like a little girl.  Like, it isn’t enough that she is so much younger than him, and is very youthful in her physique, but she makes herself look more like a little girl.  Wow, that never crossed my mind, but once he said it, I too had a hard time getting it out of my mind.

REFLECTION
We both know that the chances are good these thoughts are only in our mind and not what others are thinking.  And even if they aren’t 
thinking such things, so what?  Right?  Well, again, you can’t rationalize away some thoughts.   

It would be different for us if the “others” we are talking about were strangers at a nudist beach or kink-friends involved in TTWD.   But we are a family of nudists in a growing family of nudists.  I think that’s why, in this particular situation, I am more sensitive to thinking about what others might be thinking. 

I don’t mind people thinking odd or ill thoughts of me regarding our relationship with Kayla or any aspect of TTWD that they may be privy too.   If they don’t like it, well, too bad.   But, it bothers me to think that others may believe that I feel I am in competition with Kayla, and it bothers Mike to think others may believe he is into little girls.   To be clear, no one has ever indicated or implied any such things.   These are just things in our minds, but they are powerful enough that we have addressed them. 

And don’t think I am some fragile self-conscious timid and insecure person.   I am not.  But when it comes to my nipple piercings and my bare pubic area —  well, guilty!  

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW?
So piercings are gone and hair is growing back. 

I remain committed to sporting whatever type of pubic hair, or lack thereof, that Mike wishes, and will pierce whatever part of my body he wants me to pierce.  But for now, he has allowed me to remove the piercings.  And he had Kayla shave so that both she and I were bare together, and then we both have been growing it in for about a month now.

I sense at some point I will look back at this and not relate to feeling self-conscious and find my feelings silly.  But frankly, it is not up to me anyway.  I will share with Mike whatever it is I am felling at whatever time he may ask about it, and will abide by his demands.   I just hope he doesn’t ask for a bejeweled butterfly a la the image I used on this post!  Then again, maybe I can usher in a new trend for the newly 50-somethings!

Next: Post 297. Love without Limits.  My Ode to Blogging. 

291. The Holidays – New Year’s Eve

291

This is the third and final post catching you up on my holidays.  And it is just in time as it is actually New Year’s Eve!

I’ve shared with you a bit about my Thanksgiving and Christmas following the death of my father.  Now, it’s on to New Year’s!!

NEW YEAR’S EVE
T2 and G had to get back to California, and we decided to spend New Year’s Eve at T2’s and E’s place, much to J’s delight.

J really loves their emerging farm.  There is still a lot of work to do at their new place, but it is slowly coming together.  They got a pet pig!  As in, yes, a pet.  It’s amazing.  They are as smart, maybe smarter, than most dogs.  It roams the house just like a dog would.  J loves it.   And of course, J gets to see his girlfriend, L.

OH YEAH, J’s GIRLFRIEND
They still sort of dating, to whatever extent that word has meaning for young ‘uns these days.  I mean, apparently L had a sort of boyfriend at school, but just someone she would go to movies with and hold hands.  They apparently did kiss as well, so yeah, I’d call that dating, but, they don’t.  It’s odd to hear 11-13-year-olds talking about “not being exclusive” but that’s how they talk about it.  Like, “Yeah, I like him okay, and we have fun together, but it’s not like there is any obligation to be boyfriend and girlfriend.”   All of that contrasted with the fact that L does call J her boyfriend.  Wow, a little poly girl in the making.  Just kidding! 

Really, it is fascinating.   Of course, they shun any labels.  To them, it isn’t being poly or being anything.  It is simply “being.”  They don’t see it as a big deal, or any sized deal.  It simply isn’t a deal.  It just is.  Maybe we can learn something from that?

And J is fine with that.  He isn’t the least bit jealous and was quite logical about it.  “She lives far away and has a social life at school.  Of course, she will meet boys she likes to hang out with.  That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like hanging out with me when we get the chance.  At the point she doesn’t want to hang with me, she won’t hang with me, no different than me with her.”   I was startled to hear him say that.  Or in their vernacular, “I am shook.”   Not in a negative way, just in a surprising way, a pleasantly surprised way. 

BACK TO NEW YEAR’S EVE FESTIVITIES
New Year’s Eve will be at J’s and E’s, along with E’s cousin, her husband, their three kids (aka, The Nudies), and J.  Apparently the three cousin’s kids have invited some friends over as well.  Not sure how many.  And yeah, given the extended guest list we had to ask about attire.  We were told it is the same as always.  At both J’s and E’s as well as at her cousin’s, it is always “clothing optional.”  So we trust that whatever other friends they will have there are duly advised.

It’s been rainy here, so no fireworks ban where J & E live.  They apparently stocked up along with E’s cousin to put on quite the private fireworks show.   Plus all the smaller stuff that goes with it.  Hum, maybe sparklers and nudity aren’t such a good idea?   Plus, it’s supposed to be cold outside.   

Flying sparks and near freezing temps aren’t a place for our kibbles and bits.  I guess we will find out who the die-hard nudists are in the family!

Happy 2019!

Next: 292.  Kayla’s Triad Thursday Declaration

284. The family commune – Give nudism a chance

284

I’ve got some “DD” things to share, but had this post half written so thought I’d finish it up before going on to kinkier things!    By the way, our party (283. We are three), is tonight.  All the preparations are done and it looks like the weather is going to cooperate.

I was having another one of those in-depth conversation with one of my sisters regarding my choices in life.   Yes, it had many of the same questions and issues she raised previously (Post 200. Balloons and Submission for one).     But this time, most of her concerns centered around nudity.   Her concerns were prompted by the fact that T&E’s home (my son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law) has jokingly become the “family commune.”

That is, it’s a place people in the family go to get away and relax.  I shared previously that the they bought a house on about 50 acres, and plan to have a small farm — beehives, some pigs, and chickens.  Both of them work full time jobs, so the farm is more a hobby and will be fairly small in scale.  Oh, and by the way, their wedding is in two weeks.

I also shared that E grew up in a naturist family — both her parents grew up that way and their relatives on both side are immersed in the naturist lifestyle with few exceptions.   T has adopted this, and subsequently so have we.   You can read all about this in several posts I’ve made —   227. Naturism Rant, 233. Meet the Nudies, 242. On the Nudie Farm, 250. The Nude Normal252.  Naked Caravan,   255. Vacation Naked264. Won’t you be my (nude) neighbor?

Wow, has this turned into a nudist blog?  Ha!

Anyway — as shared in 252. Naked Carvan, many of my nieces and nephews made the trek to T&E’s house in part to chip in and help out with renovations and clearing some of the land, and in part to just have fun and hang out.   Most of them are young adults ranging from early 20’s to early 30’s.  One niece, my sister’s daughter, is 17.   And yes, when in Rome, you do as the Romans do…or in this case, when at T&E’s, you do as the nudist’s do.  They all got naked. 

Since that initial visit, it’s a rare weekend that T&E don’t have some guests — one of T’s cousin’s spending a day or two.  Sometimes they even bring a friend.  And far from feeling intruded upon, T&E both love this as they like the idea of their house being a gathering place.   And despite some reservations, there are times my sister has allowed her 17-year old to visit and spend a day or even night on the farm – and she has also brought a friend with her (female friend). 

Well, unbeknownst to my sister, on one of her daughter’s day trips to the farm she went with her boyfriend.  My niece eventually told her mom (my sis) after the fact, and it didn’t sit well with her.   My sister knows her daughter is having sex, so it isn’t that fact that disturbs her.  It is just the idea of “flaunting their bodies” in front of each other and the “obviously sexually charged atmosphere” of it all.

MY NUDISM RANT
My sisters are pretty good at pushing my buttons and sending me on a rant (120. Is this submissive a feminist? MAGA rant).  And so I proceeded along the lines of what I posted in Post 227. Naturism Rant

In her mind, the get-a-ways to the farm are nothing more than a sex filled day of debauchery.   I tried to explain that nudism and sex are distinct, and in fact, nudism serves to de-sexualize nudity, not hyper-sexualize it.

I told my sister her reaction is based on preconceived notions about nudity that conjure up feelings of shame, embarrassment, guilt, and sex.  Heck, even the bible tells us about the moment humans first “realized” they were naked, quickly followed by the moment they were first ashamed of being naked. 

In her mind, showing off a naked body sends out sexual signals that threaten the security of relationships and mankind.   And what better way to suppress nudity than to use shame, as shame is the ideal emotion to enforce any code of conduct.  Shame sucks – and we tend to want to avoid feeling it at all costs.

Well, whether it is shame of nakedness or shame over our kinks or shame over anything else —  we are not born with shame.  Instead, we learn it.   And the shame we learn is artificial — there should be no shame in it.  It only exists because we agree it exists and we agree it exists as a way of controlling conduct.  (And you can easily substitute the word “sin” for “shame,” but I won’t go there).

At one time I was right there with sis  – I felt the shame in it as well.  Hell, I know that is exactly why we made nudity part of my duties in my DD.  It was a way to feel some degree of shame or humbleness.   Well, since adopting nudism, I do not get any “kink” or “submissive” satisfaction from being naked.  That “shame” feeling has been purged.

And nothing changed, except my perception – which is what makes “shame” such a false feeling when it comes to nudity.  There is nothing shameful about it.   Only your perception makes it so.    And to justify that feeling, we then attach all sorts of terrible things to nakedness — it must be sexual, it must be prurient, it must weaken the fibers of society, it must be a contributor to all that is bad, etc, etc.   Well that’s just crap, and I told her so. 

Not to be so naive, I did concede that sure, her daughter might have had sex when she went to T&E’s with her boyfriend, no more than they might do so anytime they have the chance.  I mean, they are teenagers!    But if they did, it wasn’t because of the nudity.  

Ultimately, I urged my sister to spend a day at T&E’s, nude herself.   And not just holed up in their house, but go about the property, visit with E’s cousin’s (who live next door – 233. Meet the Nudies,  Even go there with her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend!

I said that knowing that while she might give it a try herself, there was no way she would do so with her daughter’s boyfriend along.  But my sister surprised me.  “Okay, if V (her husband) is up for it, we’ll make a go at it, including inviting her boyfriend.”   My jaw dropped.  I thought she was kidding.  But not only wasn’t she kidding, but she actually followed through.  

To make a long story short — they spent a weekend at T&E’s – two days/one night.   

SIS GETS NAKED
My sister came back with mixed reviews, but with some changes in her attitude about nudism.  She agreed she was starting to feel more comfortable and less self-conscious towards the end, but still wasn’t fully comfortable.  However, she really focused on everyone else and could see just how “normal” everyone else treated the nudity around them.  She could see that there weren’t “sexual sparks flying around.”  She even admitted there was an element of fun for her and her husband.   

And she admitted her self-consciousness started to morph towards self-affirmation regarding her body image.  She is a little overweight, and is 57, so was admittedly uneasy.   And while she never got 100% comfortable, the comfort she saw in others made her want to try this again and get to their level of comfort.

I am so proud of her for being willing to “risk it” and give this go.   She also had wonderful things to say about T&E and had many of the same wonderful observations that I already shared about E’s cousin’s (The Nudies).

A few days after my sisters return from T&E’s, she said she looks forward to visiting them again some time soon, and, told me that perhaps they would join us if we decided to do a nude vacation again. 

Wow.  I am so surprised, but elated.   It reconfirmed my experience that nudism is addicting, and after a surprisingly very little adjustment period, feels so natural and so uplifting.   You become a walking self-affirmation and have this tremendous sense of freedom, a sense of being one with the people and nature around you.   I believe this is why Mike took to it, much to my surprise, and why my sister seems to taking to it, even more to my surprise!

I definitely recommend everyone give nudism a try. 

NEXT: 285. Curfew and Spanking the Jelly?

242. On the Nudie Farm

242

I just realized that I rarely share Mike’s take on things.  I am not sure why.  The things I ponder in my blog I mull over with him.  His feedback often influences my perceptions, mood, and acceptance or rejection of the meaning of various things.  And it might be interesting to read about the times his views are different from mine.  It’s settled then.   My posts aren’t long enough (sardonic), so expect more insights into Mike.

Still catching up on the various happenings in my life since taking a mini-break from steady blogging.  Two weekends ago we took a trip with T1 and E to visit her cousin’s farm.  It is just under a four-hour drive.  We got in late on a Friday and spent Friday and Saturday night with them before returning home.  Yes, this is the “Nudies” I wrote about in  233. Meet the Nudies.

I hope my calling them “the nudies” is interpreted in the way I intend.  I say it to honor the fun and unapologetic way they go about being nudists.  I admit I am a bit obsessed with the Nudies at the moment.  I am in awe and it makes me even more eager to meet the rest of E’s family at the nudist resort this summer. So no story of discipline here, just more about the Nudies and a cliffhanger!  

BACKSTORY – THE REASON FOR OUR VISIT
My son wanted to show Mike and I a property that they put a bid on.  It is a farm adjacent to the Nudies. 

As E puts it, “her family loves the land.”  One set of grandparents have a ranch, and most of her aunts, uncles, and cousins from that side of the family live on farms or ranches.  And, another little E-family factoid – her grandfather fell for a lot of get rich quick schemes and lo’ and behold, one of them worked.  He ended up a part owner in an oil exploration company that, sure enough, found oil.  Although he is still alive, he has provided his grandkids like E with a nice financial head start in life.  Not like “never have to work” type money, but enough to have a lot of choices when it comes to where to live, which is the point of this — 

The property adjacent to her cousin’s came up for sale and T1 and E are looking to buy it.  It’s 50 acres of mostly trees and brush.  There is a small house on it that they plan to remodel, some pens, a stable and a chicken coop.  It needs a lot of work.  The previous owners were elderly and hadn’t kept up with maintenance needs for years.  A real fixer-upper!

It makes me laugh to think of T1 tending to animals.  He was born and raised in suburbia. As they both work they don’t plan to have a lot of animals, maybe a couple of horses and some goats and or pigs, and chickens.  T1 is a pretty good DIY’er when it comes to home improvements, and apparently E is pretty good herself.  It will also be nice to have her cousin’s next door, although the “door” is about a third of a mile away. 

Now the interesting stuff
When we pulled up to the Nudies house, Mrs. Nudie and Daughter2 (their youngest daughter, now aged 11 as she just had a birthday!)  were outside, naked of course.  Their house isn’t visible from the road or any adjacent properties.  AHA!  So that’s why E’s family likes to live on large properties!

Very quickly Mr. Nudie, Son (age 17), and Daughter1 (middle child, age 15) came out to greet us.  It was not lost on me that this is unusual and yet another sign of their warmth.  They could have stayed inside, but no, they came out to greet us and give us a warm welcome.  The kids greeted J like he was a long-lost sibling, and of course J was eager to ditch his clothes and made me help him get naked right there in the car.  J has really taken to nudism.

Mike and I waited to get inside before disrobing.  T1 and E soon pulled up and in no time everyone was in their birthday suits.  Once again the kids treated J wonderfully.

BTW, Kayla didn’t join us.  She had a big paper to work on for school.  Yes, that what it was, a paper.  It had nothing to do with two very prominent purplish rings on her butt.  But that’s another story. 

SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS
J was sleeping on air mattress in the same room as Mike and I.  T1 and E got the fold out couch.  The youngest daughter wanted J to sleep in her room.  She got very attached to J both during the first time we met them and this visit.  I think it makes her feel good and important as she can “take care of J” if he needs help.  Mike said, “No, he is going to sleep with us, but you can wake him up if you get up before him.”

Our reasoning for having him sleep with us is that simply he was in a strange house and we needed to be able to respond if he needed something at night.  It’s just too much responsibility to put on someone else, let alone a child.   Her response was interesting.

“I know you all are still trying out being naked, but I don’t like boys that way.  We wouldn’t do anything we are not allowed to.”  

She said it in such an innocent way, as if she was trying to reassure us.  I told her, “Yes, we are new, and we really like the way you and your family has made us feel so comfortable.  You are a great example for J but he may need something during the night and that is my job and his dad’s job to take care of him.”  She didn’t argue and just said, “okay.”

Her choice of words intrigued me.  She didn’t say “we wouldn’t do anything bad.”  She said, “not allowed to.”  Later, when the kids were off in another room playing, I asked the Nudies about how do they deal with the topic of sex and at what age?  

BIRDS AND THE BEES WHEN THE BEAK AND THE HONEY ARE IN FULL VIEW?
Their approach to sex ed was fascinating.  I won’t go into all the details.  I will summarize it by saying it was nonchalant, non-judgmental, and very open.  Kind of like their nudism.

The information they provided their children was more detailed, more accurate, and used proper words like penis and vagina instead of baby-talk slang terms.  However, it was also age appropriate.  Once the kid’s curiosity could no longer be satisfied with “babies happen when parents decide they want a child and love each other very much,” they would explain fucking.

Ha!  No they didn’t. I just typed that to see if you were still awake.  Got ya!  No, they didn’t explain fucking.   But at some point in the child’s development they would explain about daddy’s penis touching their mommy’s vagina and if they are lucky, a baby happens, and they were lucky because that is how they happened.  Yeah, in other words, fucking.  lol.

ENOUGH SEX ED, WHAT ABOUT THE VISIT 
The next day the girls wanted to take J exploring around the property — J learned that even a nudist has to wear shoes!  Ha.  I was hesitant as J can lose his balance easily, and the terrain isn’t completely flat, so Mike agreed to join them in their exploring.

I stayed and talked with T1, E, and Mr. & Mrs. Nudie.   Eventually all of us, and Son, went on a tour around their farm. It was so amazing to be walking naked outside.  It reminded me a bit of the time last year when we rented a remote place and were naked outside (151. Immersion 2017 – Forbidden Zone).   It feels so odd, but feels so good.  It really is addicting and writing this give me a craving to do it again. 

As they were showing me around we met up with Mike and the kids.  I already had this wonderful feeling from my own nakedness as well as walking with the others who were naked.  Then, coming across Mike and the kids who were also naked . . . ten of us of varying ages, outside on a lovely day, naked.  There is such an immense beautiful deep sense of innocence, vulnerability, and warmth, in witnessing such a thing.  I can’t fully describe it.

Never once did I have a feeling of inappropriateness or of anything sexual.   While I rationally understood that nudism is not sexual, it was only then that I fully felt it.  It never crossed my mind that any of this was inappropriate or sexual in nature.  My only thoughts were of the beauty of it and of being part of it.

The distinction being that prior to that moment, I was very aware of the awkwardness and novelty of everyone being naked, and very aware of my mind saying, “see, this doesn’t feel sexual.”   But in that moment, I lost the awkwardness, I lost the novelty of it, and the mind only thought of the beauty.  I think in that very moment I crossed over to becoming a nudist!  

THEIR NEW HOMESTEAD
The next day we visited the property that E & T2 bid on.  The realtor met us there and E told us in advance that we don’t have to get dressed for him.  The realtor is a friend of her cousin’s and while not a full-fledged nudist, he has been to their house many times and not only witnessed their nudism, but partook in it.  As they told us before, they have introduced a lot of people into at least experimenting with the lifestyle.

It was really odd getting in the car naked and driving to the neighboring property.  A tip we learned was to take our clothes with us, just in case there is car trouble or something unexpected.  (nothing unexpected occurred, but, at least we were prepared if it did). 

The realtor stayed clothed as he showed us around.  It was another odd moment, walking around naked with this clothed stranger.  Perhaps I was premature in calling myself a nudist as clearly I am still very aware of my nudity in such a situation.  And I was watching E and the Nudies closely.  It was clear they had no reservations or uneasiness about their nudity.  Yep, I still have some learning and adjusting before I am fully comfortable as a nudist.  

MIKE’S TAKE
I took to nudism like a fish to water.  I was already looking to go to a nudist resort when we discovered E was a third generation nudist.  Mike has jumped aboard for the ride but it was at my urging.  Mike tends to be less of an initiator when it comes to being adventuresome, but he is quick to climb aboard with my wild ideas.  You don’t have to look further than our DD as an example of that.  (8. Now I am ready to get hubby aboard).

When the opportunity to get naked arose, Mike had more reservations regarding J than I did.  While ultimately I defer to Mike’s authority, we have meaningful and respectful discussions on many topics, even those we differ on.  And it wasn’t that we differed regarding the nudity, it was just that he was uncertain. 

In situations that concern the kids, Mike tends to give more weight to my feedback than to his own.  Not that he doesn’t have great parenting skills, but he values my motherly instincts.  That doesn’t mean I always get my way regarding issues with the kids, but, I mostly do.

And he admits to feeling awkward, just like I do, but that like me, it is quickly fading.  At first he felt awkward just in his own skin.  No more.  Then he felt awkward around E — his soon-to-be daughter-in-law. . . it just seemed weird.  But E’s comfort with it has rubbed off.

He said he still feels a bit awkward around the Nudies kids, especially the girls.  He is afraid of saying or doing something that could be misinterpreted.  He told me that while they were walking around the property he was thinking, what if one of them fell or he had to carry them, or god forbid, what if he got an erection and he isn’t somewhere he can excuse himself?   Not that he felt anything sexual, but, the comfortness of the walk, a nice breeze.  I mean, it wasn’t likely to happen, but, what if, and it weighed on his mind.

Enough about being nudism and the Nudies. 

SAY WHAT???
How about something salacious for my next post?   I mentioned two posts back that there were two things I was reluctant to share.  One rhymed with ski, and I wrote about it in my previous post.  The other rhymed with bartend, and I will write about it in my next post.

What rhymes with bartend?  Could it be “boyfriend?”   Perhaps Kayla got a boyfriend?

Well, that would be half right.   Could it be she got a girlfriend?  Or wait, what if someone else got a boyfriend?  Who could that someone else be?   I wonder?  !!! ???  !!!

Next: 243. I got a boyfriend!

239. Filters: As you sow, so shall you reap

239

Yeah, that image evokes something BDSM-related, but sorry, no kinky story this time.  Just a tale of reflection, Jenny style. 

SLOWER PACE
I’ve slowed in my posting.  Part of a self imposed decrease in my attention to emails, social media, and blog.  I plan on resuming my “normal” obsession level soon – lol – but I am enjoying the break.  I started some new things.  I joined a yoga class and I am reading more and I started meditating — something I’ve never done before.   It’s been awesome.

While I won’t stop doing those things, I also won’t let those things keep me off my laptop!  I’ll be increasing my computer time soon, just at a more balanced level. 

SISTER TALK
I was talking to one my sisters who frequently reads my blog.  (
116. Revealing DD to my sisters121. 20 Questions from Sis136. Submitted Wife).   There are times I wish I hadn’t told her about my blog – there are just some things a sister doesn’t need to know.  But overall I am glad I did.  I can benefit from her sisterly advice and comments.  It’s great to have a sounding board from a “vanilla” who also has my best interests at heart.  And, she provided me with the fodder for this post!

She asked me if I ever reflect on how I ended up with the following:

  • Mike:  A husband willing to entertain and adopt my suggestion regarding Domestic Discipline.
  • John and Donna:  Friends (and neighbors) who share similar kinks and open to swinging and sharing with us.
  • Kayla:  A former babysitter turned friend and lover AND fellow submissive.
  • Lunch Bunch:  My group of “gal pals” who, instead of shunning me, accepted me when I shared the news of my sexcapdes and submission with them.  Even to the extent one of them has “consulted” with me on spicing up their sex life (and more to come on that in another post).
  • Matt:  A friend and former co-worker of Mike’s with whom I have sex with, as does Kayla, and who joins us at times with John and Donna. 
  • E:  My soon to be daughter-in-law is a third generation nudist (naturist).  We discover this just as I am suggesting to Mike that we try out a nudist resort or beach.

I told sis that I hadn’t specifically reflected on this, but my answer didn’t require deep reflection.  I immediately felt I knew the answer.  The following is what I shared with her. 

KARMA?
Yes, since adopting Domestic Discipline, it seems my life is filled with more “unique” experiences than I could have ever imagined.  It could be a karma type thing, or a “as you sow, so shall you reap” type of thing.  I’ve always believed in my own version of karma – I believe that if we want happiness, peace, friendship, and love…then we must first be those things — happy, peaceful, friendly, and loving.  Whatever we want to be around us, we must first be ourselves.  And I believe it is even more than that. 

  • What we CHOOSE for ourselves we also RETAIN — i.e., the things our filter lets in will stick with us.  
  • What we REJECT for ourselves we DISCARD – i.e., the things our filter removes won’t stick with us.  

The single most influential factor in our lives is the people who surround each day.  And we are surrounded and influenced by the people we have chosen to be in our lives.

Surround yourself with happy, peaceful, friendly, loving people, and it is much easier to be those things yourself.  They feed on each other.  Surround yourself with negative people..anxious, self absorbed, untrustworthy, mean spirited, cold, fearful, etc… and it is easy to become those things yourself.  They also feed on each other.

FILTER and CHOOSE WISELY
There are tons of emotional dust and negativity and other bits of self-defeating debris floating around in our daily lives.  I believe you can avoid ingesting this debris if you adopt the right “filters” in your life.

If someone is an emotional drainer… someone who makes me uneasy…. I can’t trust them, I am unsettled being around them…. well, I simply choose to not be around them – even if they are family!

My filter once had a glaring weakness.  My need to provide guidance (I was a guidance counselor after all) slowly morphed to a need to “fix” people.  I didn’t realize it at the time as I thought I was just being helpful, but I allowed myself to become too invested in their outcome — at times I was more invested in someone’s outcome than they were.  What a waste of time and energy.  I still like to help people, but I am much more in tune with whether or not they want to help themselves first.

This “filtering” I do means that at this point in my life I am left with a group of people that fulfill me and reflect the things I value the most.

VALUE VERSUS VALUES
Value means valuing the differences, not just valuing the things we agree with.  My friends and family are diverse in their religious beliefs or lack thereof, as well as political beliefs.  These can be incendiary topics to disagree on —  but — we agree on some core values regarding personal happiness, truthfulness, empathy, respect, and acceptance.  Our differences may be in how we “execute” those values, but those differences make for great conversations.

Simply put, we don’t “damn” each other for our differences.  Question, but don’t judge.  We accept each others “truths” as being fine for the other person, even if we reject them for ourselves.  The result is I haven’t necessarily filtered out those that are different than I am.  Instead, I have filtered out those that are intolerant of such differences.

Here are some specific things that I attribute to the openness and acceptance of the relationships my sister questioned. 

MIKE
I can write a novel on this.  Simply put, he is my soul mate, we compliment and complete each other.  We are one, but not the same.  We are willing to try, explore, and support anything the other asks. 

JOHN AND DONNA
They are just as surprised with me and Mike as we are with them.   They had been doing their version of D/s well before us.  We were friends and neighbors for many years prior to my DD and of course, prior to swinging and playing with them.   

KAYLA
She credits her fondness of me and Mike as coming from how warm, loving, and accepting our household has always been of her.  I mentioned before she had a crush on Mike when she was younger, but Kayla didn’t fully reveal to us until later just how deep that crush was, and that it also included me.

While a part of her looked at Mike as a father figure, she mostly fantasized about him as a mate.  When I shared my DD with her, she immediately saw it as an opportunity to explore — explore her fantasies about Mike, her feelings for other women, explore poly in a more comfortable way (she was already in a poly relationship), and of course, explore being submissive.  And the clincher for her was that she could do all of that in a safe, warm, and nurturing environment.

LUNCH BUNCH
I have been surprised by my lunch bunch friends level of acceptance (222. It’s only kinky the first time).  I thought some would be so uncomfortable that they would not want me to speak of it again — but they all have been eager to bring it up in and further the conversation.   I know they all don’t accept it as being something for them, but they all accept it as being something for me.   I would love to call that simply, “choosing good friends,” but frankly, I think some of it was just luck. 

MATT
Mike chose him to be in our life, not me.  I am still getting to know him, but I think Mike’s choice in inviting him into our “Circle of Trust” is based on similar things that I look for in people.  There hasn’t been anything about him that has concerned me and I enjoy his company.  The sex is great too – ha!

E
T1 chose E, so I can’t take the credit; however, it does make me think about how much T1’s upbringing may have influenced his attraction to someone like E.  In many ways E embodies the values I always wanted to instill in my kids, even though I wasn’t always consistent or good at doing so.  And this has nothing to do with the nudist stuff – although that sort of encapsulates it all.  She has no false pretenses, is sure of herself but not full of herself, and is empathetic and caring.  A perfect match for T1.  I can’t be more happy for him to have found someone like her.

While I’d like to credit T1’s upbringing for equipping him with a “filter” to attract and retain someone like E in his life, the truth is, I think it is mostly luck.  In my experience, children are as likely to reject their parent’s “filters” as they are to accept them.  Perhaps what helped with T1 is that we set filters based on broader issues of feeling good about yourself versus specific issues of say looks, finances, race, religion, politics, etc. 

EPILOGUE
My “filter” is not perfect.  I’ve let in plenty of the “wrong people” in my life or kept them around longer than I should.  And I don’t mean wrong as there is something bad about them in general, just something bad about them regarding my own happiness.  And I guess that is the best way to sum up my “filter.”  If you can’t provide me a certain amount of happiness and fulfillment, I filter you out; otherwise, I breathe you in!

Next: 240. Recovering my True Blogging Self