Tag Archives: nudism

265. Joy without submission?

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The post before last I posed a question about why Mike was more in tuned than I was regarding our little bit of “drifting” from our regular DD routines.   I ask it because I find it curious.  I am not troubled by it.  In fact, I think the fact Mike noticed it before me is a milestone in our DD.  Up until then, I was the one either asking for more discipline or lamenting over something feeling “off.”   It’s great that Mike noticed it and was willing to say something – albeit a bit vaguely.

It’s been awhile since I’ve taken a philosophical self-analyzing trip into my DD journey.  So now is a good time to do that.   

THEN WHY SO JOYFUL?
It was odd that Mike noticed it first, but it was more odd that I wasn’t anywhere near sensing it.  My level of fulfillment and joy over the last several months has been sky high!  Does that mean I would prefer a softening of our DD and that I am not getting as much joy from it as I once was?  

Oh, and before I answer that.  I would not be bothered by either a yes or no answer.  Certainly, a “yes” would pose a challenge in that we would have to work to reconcile the different needs, but I am confident we could do so if needed.  It isn’t realistic to assume needs will never change, and we are committed to finding equitable solutions to any differences we face, kink or otherwise.   

HOWEVER, my needs haven’t changed, nor has Mike’s.  So, YES, I still want the level of D/s we attained before we drifted a bit.  Perhaps I am not yearning as much for it, but I not only enjoy it, I know I need it – emotionally and as part of being the wife, mother, and person that I want to be.   It is actually a good thing that I can find contentment in other aspects of my life.  It isn’t either I have D/s or I shrivel up and die.

Fulfillment has many facets, and being submissive is an important one, but not the only one.  I am sure there are times where I need to be more in my submissive headspace than other times.  Just like there may be times Mike needs to feel his dominance more than other times.  So why wasn’t I needing it as much lately?  Where has my fulfillment been coming from?

There are many joys in my life that transcend submission.

FAMILY!
I won’t re-hash all the great developments with my kids, but suffice to say, it is hard to not feel fulfilled when your kids appear to be happy.   Okay, I won’t re-hash them in detail, but here’s a summary as I can’t resist showing some pride in my kids! 

T1 bought a house, and is getting married to a great woman who I adore.  T2 graduating college, finding a great job, and growing into full adulthood.  J, who has exceeded all the expectations we had for him just a few years ago.  His growth and development despite his disability has been amazing.   

And then there is Kayla – I love her and she loves me.  I am so happy for her and all she adds to my marriage and my family.  And most importantly, she is happy.   Being out in the open about her has also been a great emotional booster for all of us.  

And there’s more – extended family!  A great relationship with my sisters, with whom I can be open and honest in sharing my life choices.  And re Kayla – my parents, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles — while not everyone is as accepting as I would like, it is still liberating to be open with it.   And their (well, some of them) willingness to give naturism a try further shows their openness and acceptance of my family.

FRIENDSHIPS AND FINANCES
And even more…
friendships!   A close friendship with John and Donna, our “unique” relationship with Matt, and a great group of pals in my “lunch bunch” friends.  I also think the relationship with Matt has been invigorating.  We are over the “honeymoon” phase of it so it has lost a bit of its mystique, but, I know I got an emotional boost from it all.  I still do, just not what it was when it was all new. 

And beyond the emotional fulfillment, Mike’s work has been going well, so finances haven’t been an area of stress.  And with T2 done with college — the finances look even better.  We can finally start ramping up funding our retirement and making sure J can be supported for his lifetime.

NUDISM
I have to give nudism some credit as well.  It really has had an amazing positive psychological impact on me and my family.  It has boosted everyone’s self-confidence, not that it was particularly lacking.  It also tightens the already strong emotional bond we share.   Can’t explain it – it just does.    Perhaps adopting nudism is the ultimate in “vulnerability.”  And if you read my countless posts about vulnerability, you’ll know all the positive results that come with allowing yourself to be vulnerable.   

SUBMISSION
And it isn’t like we took a hiatus from our DD.  I have remained very submissive throughout my daily activities and have had the occasional punishment.    Our “drift” was very subtle.  So my need for submission was still being fed, just perhaps a little bit smaller helpings.  

ITS NOT ALL ABOUT MY DD
Yes, I admit it.  Not every ounce of my joy and fulfillment comes from feeding my submissive mindset.  That’s a good thing.  My identity as a submissive defines my relationship with my husband, a relationship that is the largest contributor to my fulfillment – but not the only contributor.

I think sometimes when joy is lacking in one facet of life, you subconsciously try to make up for it somewhere else.  Perhaps that is why I sort of took my eye off of my DD.  I didn’t notice we had backed off a little because I am getting so much fulfillment elsewhere.  My submissive-mindset-fulfillment-meter could actually dip a bit and I didn’t notice it.  That’s okay.  Our needs are not a constant.

And to Mike’s credit, it isn’t like he wasn’t feeling fulfilled by our kids and aspects of life beyond just the two of us.  He recognized he also feels great about all of those things I have mentioned.  I think the difference is every day he was being the Dom that Kayla needed, giving him a point of reference for our D/s.  That vantage point allowed him to sense the widening gap between the fulfillment he was getting as her Dom versus the fulfillment he was getting as mine.  So he said something – and I am glad he did.

The result was the tweaks and refocusing that I shared on one of my previous posts.  You do know what that means, don’t you?  More opportunities to be disciplined.   And that is not just theoretical, but a fact.  Yes, there has been an increase in discipline. Hmm…maybe there is a spanking story coming up?

Next: 266. Domestic Discipline Throwback: A Spanking two-fer

258. Planning Immersion III – Surprise, surprise, surprise

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We are preparing for our third annual “immersion.”  Check out Immersion 1 (Posts 31, Post 32, and Post 34) and Immersion 2 (Post 150, Post 151, and Post 152). 

J will be spending time at my parents house, our recent-grad, T2, will have already moved out by then, thus we are temporarily empty-nesters.  When the kids are away, the adults shall play!  Um, well, play even more than we already do, we just won’t have to be stealthy about it. 

I went into last year’s immersion invigorated and excited.  This year?  Just not feeling as excited.  I think in some ways I am “explored out.”  There isn’t really anything new I am yearning to explore.  However, I still look forward to it, just not with the same amount of gusto.  I love the intense submission of it all and there are some activities I look forward to repeating. 

I shared this with Mike and he got all giddy and said, “Then I will take it as a challenge to find some new and interesting things for you.”   He reminded me that part of our goal of each immersion is to explore new sensations and experiences to help us all identify and separate what is pleasurable versus tolerable – as well as what is tolerable versus what is intolerable.  

We make it fun and “brand” each immersion with a theme, (last year’s was Entering the Forbidden Zone).  Prompted by my less than stellar enthusiasm, Mike chose the theme this year of “Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!”  I have to admit, it did raise my enthusiasm to have to wait and see what all Mike has in store for Kayla and I.  

Kayla is very excited – much more than I am.  She really loved last years Immersion and still talks a lot about it.  She would prefer more role-playing, age play/ABDL, and humiliation stuff, but that is difficult to do regularly with a child in the house so Immersion is a great time to explore those things.  Mike said we will revisit some of the things we did last year, but he will have some new experiences for us all.   

He once again rented the same place we stayed at last year. Funny, but one of the things that made that place so fun was that it was secluded and we could run around naked outside.  That was such a novelty a year ago and now is like, “but of course!”  Anytime we have the opportunity, naked will be a “go to” state.  Which, speaking of nudism, leads me to something else to share – – – 

NEIGHBORHOOD NUDITY
After our vacation, Mike has gone “all in” on adopting nudity.  He really loves it and appreciates the positive influence it has on J’s behavior.  Mike said it is inconvenient to have to put something on if he needs to go get something from the tool shed, or if any of us simply want to be outdoors in our back yard.  As a result, Mike tasked me with talking to my neighbors and get their permission for us to be naked in our backyard. 

Our yard is pretty well shielded from the neighbors, but there are spots viewable from THREE different neighbors.  Thankfully large trees and the slope of the land hide us from more views.  One of our neighbors is John and Donna, so no problem there.

That leaves TWO other houses with views into our backyard.  Luckily, I know one of these neighbors pretty well and feel comfortable talking to them about this – however, I don’t know the other one real well – and she has the biggest view into our yard.  I have probably talked to her four or five times in 15 years.  Anyway, that will be an awkward conversation.

I’ll let you know how these talks go.  Mike gave me to the end of the week to talk to them. While one of these conversations will be uncomfortable, I think it is wonderful that Mike has embraced this.  It is very un-Mike like.  I think this vulnerability thing is rubbing off on him!  

Next: Post 259 More Mike

254. Dating: Teens/pre-teen? Nudism? Disability? ???

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We made it to the resort! But more on that later.  Not sure of my blogging time this weekend as we have lots of socializing and activities going on, but had a few minutes and wanted to finish up this post that I almost had completed a few days ago.  

While this post is void of kink, I guess it still qualifies as avant garde.  The thought of a pre-teen/teen dating  can make even the calmest of parents nervous. It poses a greater dilemma when you add nudism, a disability, and then throw in a six year age difference!  Yikes! 

My last posted ended with the mention that my youngest, J, is “in love” with E’s cousin’s youngest daughter… I’ll call her “L.”  She is 11.   J is 17, and I have written many times about his disabilities.  J is a “very young” 17, and L is a more advanced 11, but still, age is age.  That’s a huge difference.  But before I dive into that, here’s the backstory.   

IN THE BEGINNING
Their connection was almost immediate.  When
they first met L was very engaging and warm towards J.  That’s just her personality, but over time it became clear to us that L really enjoyed being around J.  She is a natural “nurturer” and I think J’s special needs touched her.  And J’s humor meshes with hers, and they enjoy playing board games and other games together.  Just good friends enjoying each other’s company – a lot.   

J was starting to always ask when he could visit L (not “When can I visit T1,” but specifically, “When can I visit L?”  And apparently L was saying similar things at home.  There is nothing wrong with two kids of opposite genders liking each other’s company and none of us thought it was anything more than just that.    

THE KISS
L’s mom and I were sitting outside talking.  L and J were walking towards us, holding hands.  It isn’t uncommon for J to hold hands with someone.  It helps him with his balance, especially when the terrain is uneven – and there is plenty of that on their farm.  But, there is holding hands for physical support, and then there is holding hands for an emotional connection.  It was clear this was more the latter.  

L’s mom was the first to comment.  “So L, I see the two of you are holding hands a lot, what do you feel about that?”  L wasn’t the least bit shy, embarrassed, or apologetic.  “Yeah, we like holding hands.  I like being around him.  He’s my boyfriend now.”

And if that declaration wasn’t enough to get our attention, she then added, “I even gave him a kiss on the lips.”  She said it with a proud sense of accomplishment, completely unashamed or the least bit concerned.

THE TALK
L’s mom, “C”,  was the first to speak.  “Okay, that’s nice.  I am glad you are enjoying each other’s company.  Can you both take a seat and let us talk about you and your boyfriend?”  To which L stated, “Sure.” 
I’ll spare the sentence-by-sentence dialogue – but the conclusion was clear.  They like each other, and it is very innocent.  The “peck on the lips” was the most salacious part of it.      

I let C do most of the questioning as I wanted to follow her lead and support her wishes.  Her 11-year-old “baby girl” just proclaimed to having kissed a boy.  That’s a lot for any parent to hear, even in “normal” situations. But C handled it like pro.

At some point C said, “So, if you are going to kiss you need to know some rules.  You can hold hands, and a peck on the lips is fine but no need to have your mouths all over each other.”  This quickly elicited a “Gross, no way,” from both L and J.  “And you respect each others body – no need to touch body parts, including genitals.”   To which L responded, “Good grief, no way mom, right J?”   J concurred, “I wouldn’t do that.”

J’s only other comment was to me asking, “So you are okay with her being my girlfriend?” To which I replied, “Sure, as long as L and her parents say it is okay.”   And with that the conversation was done and they both wanted to go inside to watch a movie.

 I felt a need to provide more limitations…like, “Don’t kiss again!” or “don’t be in the house alone.”   I mean, they are naked after all!   But, I played off of C’s calmness and let it go.  I figured I could talk to her a few minutes and then go inside and check up on things.  C could see my uneasiness and said, “They will be fine.  Let’s give them a little time to get their movie going and then we need to move inside anyway, it’s getting too hot out here.” 

THE MOM’S TALK – NUDITY!?
Once the kids left I told C that I am concerned about the age difference and about J’s disability, but first and foremost, uh, you know, they are both naked!   How do nudist families deal with the fact that everything is. . . well, . . . so accessible? 

C said this is nothing new – she grew up as nudist and has a 15 and 17 year old.  She assured me that just because there is easier “access” to sex parts doesn’t mean that’s where kids want to immediately go.  In her experience, their body positivity, confidence, and openness doesn’t invite sex, it actually seems to inhibit it as far as teen sex goes.

She added that L knows how “everything works” and there isn’t much left to be curious about.  She feels L understands boundaries and, at least in C’s experience, not only do her kids feel less pressure to give in, but they feel more empowered to say no.  She repeated the mantra I’ve heard many many times since exploring nudism — “nudism is not sex.”

And she added, “and kids who grow up as nudist don’t even relate to why that statement is even necessary to say.  It’s not like seeing her breasts will make him want to get her pants off, or that she is going to be curious about seeing him naked.  They’ve see all of that all the time.  Sex in nudism isn’t about seeing body parts, it is about sex.  And it seems pretty clear neither L nor J have sex on their minds.”

C said she has had “the talk” with L, but it was less of a single talk and more of a lifelong exposure to addressing the topic whenever it was appropriate to do so.  C feels L isn’t even that interested about it and wouldn’t venture beyond the kiss at this point.  Further, C felt that L would talk about any other desires she was feeling before she acted on them. 

That sounds hard to imagine, but C said both her other kids came to her with questions.  Her middle girl (age 15, I’ll refer to her as M for middle), is a virgin, but her son (age 17, I’ll refer to him as B) is not.  C said they are all comfortable talking about such things and thus she is confident that L will be fine.  C disclosed that M even told her that she was attracted to girls and boys, so yeah, C feels her kids are very comfortable coming to her about such things.  Of course, C did say this means a further parental discussion with L and more attention to her behaviors around J, but nothing to cause a panic.     

THE PARENTS TALK – AGE DIFFERENCE?
C conceded that yes, 17 is too old for L, but, her concern is alleviated because of what she knows and sees in J and in us.  She said she doesn’t feel the need to assume the worse, and she isn’t about to try to shame L in any way.  She feels L respects the rules and understand enough about her body and feelings to ask questions before doing anything more physically and hopes that I ensure J does the same.  

C stated that from an age perspective M may seem more appropriate for J – but both of us quickly laughed at that.  M is way more emotionally mature than J and just into completely different things (more age appropriate things regarding music, pop culture, entertainment, you name it).  M provided a good point of reference as to why someone younger than 15 is more on J’s level regarding girlfriend material.   

Regardless the age difference, actual age is also another concern.  L is bit young, having turned 11 just over a month ago.  But I defer to C on that as she is not my child.  Ultimately, if  L’s parents support her in this, then so be it.  C was crystal clear she would never want to inject guilt or shame in anything they are feeling about each other.  She feels strongly it isn’t about shaming them into keeping boundaries, it is about educating them about the importance of such boundaries.   It’s sad that her approach is probably considered “progressive” as frankly, it should be the norm.       

THE PARENTS TALK – J’s DISABILITY?
I had never given much thought to J ever falling in love.  Shame on me for that.  I think there is a tendency, even for a parent, to discount certain things in people with disabilities.  One of those things is their ability and capacity to love someone in a more amorous way.  J is emotionally delayed, and has various anxiety issues and physical limitations (more around low muscle tone and unsteady gait), but, he isn’t missing any emotions.  

J feels the same things everyone else feels – sometimes in an amplified manner.  It is that “amplification” that concerns me, as he can often get overwhelmed with intense emotion of any kind.  Anticipation, even when it is over something good, can create a lot of anxiety in him.  We actually noticed this about our plans to visit T1.  J would get very anxious about any delay on the way as he couldn’t wait to see L.

My concerns with J are twofold – his behavior, specifically anything sexual, and how he handles being away from L.   

Sex-wise, the issue isn’t about some evil or malicious intent on J’s part.  It is about basic human reaction.  How will he react if he gets an erection, can he make sense of the hormones and urges building up inside him?  How can he keep any impulses in check when, impulsiveness and OCD like behaviors are part of who he is? 

While J already had an understanding of the technical aspects of the birds and the bees, suffice to say there have been several more talks since this event occurred.  And not about the mechanics of sex, but about the feelings and how those feelings should be properly expressed.  Both Mike and I feel J can handle a relationship with L and that it would remain appropriate for their “emotional” ages. 

I was concerned about how J would handle being away from her.  They don’t live close – about a 3 hour drive.   Turns out, J’s own tendencies helped address this.  J can heavily compartmentalization things and those compartments are very black and white.  His anxiety stays in check if we set the right expectation – and fulfill that expectation.

For now with this trip on the calendar J knew he would soon see L.  I think I mentioned that most of E’s family is at the resort – her parents, some siblings, a few cousins, even her grand parents.  So “the Nudies” are here too.  We also have a few more weekends planned to help T1 and E out with their renovations.  Beyond that we will have to try and set some schedule, perhaps a weekend here or there, or even invite L to our house.   If it is something we can put on a calendar and commit too, J is great with handling a schedule.  Basically for him, if it is on the schedule, then there is nothing to get anxious about before hand because it just “isn’t time” for that particular thing to happen.

SURE OF THINGS
I was curious about what they liked in each other.  What is it than an 11-year old fully functioning, able-bodied girl would see in a 17-year old boy with a disability?   So I asked her.    

L said she likes to help J, whether it is helping him up a step or help him figure something out.  She also said he was funny and liked a lot of the same things she liked.  But the most touching thing she said was that J had this joy about him and he wasn’t afraid to just “let that joy out.”  She said he is so certain about things.  “Not in a bossy way or trying to show off or impress me, but he is so sure of things.  No boy I know is like that.”          

Seeing J through L’s eyes was so amazing.  J is very self assured.  He has never “wanted” for more abilities.  He accepts that his issues are just part of who he is.  He is also never shy to proclaim his thoughts (which sometimes can be awkward and/or very funny).

I always see this in him, and it was touching that this little girl sees it too – and more importantly, just doesn’t see it, but values it – the way I do.  And L’s own self-assuredness probably intimidates and repels every boy her own age.  I can see why L is attracted to that in J. 

And I asked J what he liked about L.  He said she talks to him like we talk to him and most kids don’t do that.  Even when she asked him questions about his disability it was like, “so what’s that about.” and “she didn’t even make a face when I explained it.”  He also added that she was funny and just made him feel good to be around and summed it all up with, “She is a good friend and has a good spirit.”

SUMMARY
Their intentions are much more innocent than we may assume about their peers (and especially about their parents!).  So we all are taking a deep breath, remaining calm and supportive, but yeah, still keeping an extra eye out. 

Post 255. Vacation Naked

252. Still there? The Naked Caravan

252

Wow.  Where did May go?

Summer is usually busy but the busyness started a month early!  So much to catch you up on!  I don’t think I ever have gone so long without blogging!  The upside is there is plenty of fodder for several posts.  Where to start?

T1 AND E MOVE IN?
T1 and E moved into their new house, sort of.   I mentioned before their new place is about 3 hours or so away from his old place (and us).  His job has an office they are allowing him to relocate to that is just under an hour commute from his new place — but they didn’t want him switching offices until after Memorial Day – and their old house sold already.  The result?  — They kind of moved in with us! 

They moved a lot of things to their new place but since a 3 hour commute is just too much, they spent their weekdays with us and the weekends at their new place. 

WEEKENDS AT THEIR PLACE
We spent almost every weekend at their new place, helping them with various repair and remodeling that they began in earnest.  Mike even took a few extra days off and spent time their during the week.  They are doing a big part of it DYI, but will also be hiring a contractor for some of it.  In any event, it meant big changes in my normal routine.

A WEEKEND WITH MATT
Matt invited me to go to the coast with him.  We came up with a cover story that I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to rest.  So while Mike, Kayla, and J spent a weekend at T1’s, I spent it with Matt.  I actually wasn’t keen on the idea as I didn’t want to miss a weekend helping at T1’s.  Not that I am that handy of a DYI’er, but I can paint a wall or at least cook and clean up or just socialize.  Great family bonding time — and I love being around E’s cousin’s.  I am hooked on nudism!   But… I left it up to Mike and he wanted me to spend the weekend with Matt at the coast.  I’ll get back to that in my next post. 

FAMILY (NAKED) CARAVAN 
Some of my nieces and nephews wanted to check out their cousin’s new digs and help out.  My side of the family was made aware of T1 adopting E’s naturist lifestyle, but participating in it is another thing.  And, until they asked if they could help out they weren’t really aware that E’s next-door-neighbor cousin’s family were all nudists as well. 

Until E “came out” as a nudist to us and our subsequent embracing of it, T1 and E kept it to themselves.  No more.  The expectation is that anyone visiting them will at least be a witness to their natural state, but no one is expected to partake if they don’t want to.

Most of my nieces and nephews are adults ranging from their early 20’s to early 30’s but one niece is 17 (about six months younger than J).   When told of what to expect, most of them were unfazed.  My sisters weren’t planning to come and said if their kids wanted to help out, it was up to them.  Same for whether or not they wanted to be naked.  And, my eldest sister’s husband was coming.  So yeah, no one objected.

It surprised me.  I assumed at least one person may have had an issue – not to say there weren’t some concerns and questions to address, especially with my sister regarding her 17 year old daughter.  My sister surprised me the most with allowing her daughter to come.   With all the people that would be there, including her husband, and with assurances that I would “keep an eye out,”  she was fine leaving it up to her daughter to decide.  My niece was very excited about it. 

Funny aside – she said she was more nervous and “weirded out” from the prospects of being naked in front of her dad, and in seeing her dad naked, than she was from anyone else seeing her or being nude. I think that is understandable.   

SEE IMAGE ABOVE
Okay, so we weren’t quite as crammed together as those in that image, but, it was pretty close to that.  There was a caravan of us that spent the weekend at T1’s.
5of my nieces and nephews including two spouses, along with a brother-in-law, plus me, Mike, Kayla and J, plus T1 and E, E’s cousin, cousin’s husband, 3 kids, AND E’s brother, her brother’s partner and their 2 kids, AND one other of E’s cousins and their two kids.   And there were times E’s cousin’s kids had friends over — so there were around 30 people going between the two houses.   And just about everyone was naked the entire time!

A few didn’t partake right away but eventually did, and a couple never did.  But whether they were clothes free, partially nude, or totally naked, no one was made to feel bad about their decision. 

I found that I become oblivious to the nudity after awhile.  However, even without a conscious awareness of there being “nakedness” everywhere, I always remained conscious of the “beauty-ness, purity-ness, fun-ness, carefree-ness, loving-ness” that was in the air.

It was amazing and I am tempted to go on and on and start another nudism rant if not for being so behind in posting.  Perhaps another post!  But if our “naked caravan” is any indication of what I am in for at the nudist resort, I am only that much more excited about that trip!  Our trip to the nudist resort is coming up – June 7!  

Oh – and we got so much done at their new place!  Overgrowth cleared (the land was very overgrown), large section of the house gutted, reframed, re-wired, etc.  It’s great having E’s cousin next door, not only pitching in, but they have a lot of heavy equipment like a backhoe.   They ended up putting in a back road of sorts that connects their two houses without having to drive on the public road.

And it was so nice of T1’s cousins to give up a weekend and help out.  They don’t always see as much of each other as they use to as everyone is so busy with their lives.  Of course, they got to see an awful lot of each other this time.  Ha!! 

So two weeks of T1 and E living with us during the week, weekends spent at their place, and some other “routine life stuff” kept me away from blogging the last several weeks.  In my next post, I’ll share more details about what my weekend with Matt was like, as well as what that weekend at T1’s was like without me. 

Next: 253. Still there? The Naked Caravan

250. The Nude Normal

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Part of my mid-April slow down in posts was due to me having to deal with some health issues.  Lots of doctors appointments!  Turned out it wasn’t something too serious – a pinched nerve that responded well to PT and the yoga has also helped.  Add to that – I am now officially pre-menopausal, that is, I am in perimenopause.  What joy!

The combination of odd neurological issues I was having from the pinched nerve, along with the plethora of perimenopausal symptoms, had me concerned that something serious was going on.  So it actually was joyful to find out it wasn’t something chronic.

Don’t cry over spilled milk. . . instead, go naked!
We (me, Mike, Kayla, and J) were at the dinner table when J spilled a large glass of milk on his lap.  I asked Kayla to help him get his pants off and I would go grab a towel as I didn’t want him dripping milk down the hall as his pants were soaked.  When I came back with some towels, he was totally naked.  J decided to remove his underwear and Mike figured there was no need to make an issue of it.  It was for the best anyway as the milk went down and through his pants.  

We got him cleaned up enough and he went to the restroom to wipe down with a washcloth so as not to be sticky and return before his food was cold.  I walked into the bathroom to see if he needed help as well as to bring him clean clothes.  He said he wanted to just stay naked.  His reasoning was he was just going to take a shower after dinner anyway, and he sleeps naked (that’s a recent development), so, why bother putting on clothes he will only have on for about twenty minutes? 

Why bother indeed!  “Okay, that makes sense.  You’ll need to convince your dad though so I’ll hang on to these clothes.”  And we walked back to the dinner table.  J explained himself, and even added, we’ve eaten naked before (at E’s cousin’s), so why not now?  Mike said, “Well, okay, then,” in this tone that implied, “Well, you thoroughly thought that out, I’ve got nothing to counter with, so sure, why not.” 

So J sat down and dinner continued.  Then a few minutes later J said, “Dad, you said we can be naked at T1’s to show support for E liking to be naked.  Well, I like it too.  Shouldn’t you all be naked right now to support me?”   

SOME BACK STORY
You might read J’s statement using a tones that imply some ulterior motive or desire to just be ornery.  That is not that case.  
I’ve shared that J has a disability.  And much of what J says comes from a pure innocence – no ulterior motives –  just simply expressing what he is feeling in the moment, unfiltered by social cues and oblivious to the potential innuendo (which at times can make for interesting and uncomfortable moments in public).

And I believe I shared before that J wanted us to “go naked” ever since that first time at T1’s.   Mike said no, but did allow him to not get dressed after his bath as he goes right to bed after that anyway.  And, as we are going to the nudist resort in a month, Mike thought it would be a good idea for J to stay semi-acclimated to the idea of nudity.  So we all adopted a “naked after bath” routine at night, although he is often, but not always, asleep by the time others bathe. 

We all sleep nude and I am naked when I go to make sure he is awake – but we all have been getting dressed before coming to breakfast.  We also are planning more time with T1 and E, both at our house and theirs, to help normalize it as much as possible for J (and even to some degree, for us).   

We want it to be as “normal” for him because we worry a bit about how he may react to things.  His pure innocence sometimes is a bit like Tourettes. Not that it is an involuntary tick, but he often has an involuntary impulse to share whatever thought is on his mind.  And while he is well intended, sometimes the circumstances aren’t ideal for sharing what’s on his mind.  Example – many a times a restaurant he will yell, “Mister, you probably don’t know it but you are talking so loudly that we can’t hear ourselves over here.”  Or, “Oh my gosh, lady, I really need you to keep your mouth closed when you are chewing your food.”   

Having said all this, Mike doesn’t want us to formally adopt nudism. His initial reason is that he just doesn’t see that as being “us.”  But frankly, it has been growing on him.  He admits he enjoys it.  He also wants to make sure J handles it well.  So far, so good, but Mike see’s no reason to rush it.  And now, we have this dinner time incident. 

So how did Mike respond to J’s request for “support” of him being naked? 

THE NUDE NORMAL
We all got naked and finished our dinner!
  And, while Mike said the naked dinner time was a one-time thing, he provided NEW guidance on nudity in the home.  He said going forward, if there was no school or we didn’t have to get dressed to go anywhere, the household could remain naked until 10 a.m.  We are to be clothed for dinner, but can be naked after that.  It is optional – but J said he would definitely go clothes-free at those times. 

MORE ON J
I want to share a bit more about my son as there is a distinction to my various “kinks” and nudism.  The biggest is that nudism isn’t a kink at all.   But it is unfortunately not a mainstream practice and often people attach their own hang ups and bias’ to those who practice it.  In that way, and only in that way, does it share something in common with kink. 

As part of the various quirks of J’s disability, he has various tactile issues.  He always likes to wear shirts that fit tightly and he has never liked pants, whether loose or tight.  It has always been normal for him to just have on underwear and a shirt when he is home.  He is very picky about things being the right texture for him, whether clothes, food, or whatever.   He has a couple of blankets that he carries around to sit on because he doesn’t like the feel of certain chairs.

He also is obsessive when it comes to any threads that may hang from clothes or even the tiniest of holes that appear on clothes.  He has to pull every string…he can’t cut them…and rip open every hole, whether in socks, pants, shirt — and whether or not in the comfort of his home or out in public.  It is like a compulsion and a reflex.  He sees it and “boom” he moves in.   Nudity solves all his clothes issues.  No weird feeling pants, no shirt being too loose, no threads or holes.  

He is happy being naked and thus far has been pretty oblivious to those who are naked around him.  While J can be socially inappropriate, it is never been mean-spirited.  Many times people will just say, “You’re right, I should be more quiet” and laugh.  One of the best stories I can tell you was when he was about five years old.  We were at a store and there was a kid with a disfigured face.  I saw it.  It fact, it was the only thing I saw when I looked at the kid.  Then, I hear J, “Mommy, mommy, look,” as he points to this kid.  I was mortified.  Then J said, “He’s wearing the same shirt I am wearing.”   Holy S*@T!  J was right.  He was.  And I could see the other kid smile the biggest smile and say, “you like Spongebob, too?”

So yeah, maybe it is our hang up, not his.

MIKE AND KAYLA
Kayla and I are similar in our thoughts on nudism.  I’ve shared that I really enjoy being naked.  Kayla does as well but she admits she is still a bit self-conscious.  I am tempted to just tell her, “Look at me with my cellulite thighs and butt, varicose vein legs, and saggy boobs, compared to your thin thighs, tight butt, flawless legs, and perky tits.”

But I don’t say such things to her – I display it!  I found you can’t convince someone about their self body image.  You can only support them and model self affirming behaviors.  For some, especially girls and younger women, body image isn’t about you looking better than someone else (especially not about looking better than someone twice your age, cuz that isn’t even a contest. She win’s hands down..or is it boobs up?).  Frankly, it isn’t even about your body.   I don’t want to go on a body-image rant, but the root of a lot of issues is feelings of shame.  And the irony is, being naked increases Kayla’s comfort with being naked, which deminishes her shame, and further increases her comfort with being naked.   

So while she is still not 100% comfortable with it, she admits she is getting there and actually is beginning to derive a sense of security from it.  It sounds weird as getting naked in front of others is one of the most insecurity-inducing acts you can typically think of.   But I get what she is saying.  Once you are acclimated to it and around others who are acclimated, you feel empowered, validated, and yes, secure!   

Mike enjoys it too, but still not at the “enjoyment” level of Kayla and I.  He finds it more “fascinating,” perhaps on a more intellectual level than an emotional level – but he’s getting there.  And it helps him to see that J is doing fine with it. 

There are a lot of positive studies about nudism.  Kids raised in a naturist household have a tremendously positive body image.   I read a study that was really quite sad about kids as young as four or five who felt negatively about their private parts — describing them as “bad” or “naughty” and using slang words to describe them.  Naturist kids described them no different than you or I would describe our elbows and knees, and use proper terms when describing them.   

It is one thing to grow up in a pro-nudist culture.  But J is 17 and … well, I almost typed…”and he has a disability.”  But frankly, I think we are using that as an excuse.  J is J.  He isn’t his disability.  If he can handle it, and thus far he has indicated he can, then that’s all that should matter. 

WHAT’S NEXT
We are a step closer to adding “nudist” to our various “labels.”  Not that I am keeping score, but let’s see, any one of these words fit me and/or the relationships Mike and I have – Domestic Discipline, Polyamourous, Swinger, Dominant/Submissive, Cauldism, a touch of BDSM, a tad of M/s, bisexual, cellular family, or perhaps a delta or a triad, ethical slut, metamour, open marriage, and so on.    

There are other terms that describe us as well, we are a household with a child with a disability, we are a household of a 26-year marriage, we are “suburban,” we might be aligned with this political ideology or that one, or this religion or that one, or none at all.  We are all these things and we are none of these things.   Labels help you identify what we do, not who we are.  That’s the problem with labels.  People often assume if you are “one of those” then they know who you are.

Nudism isn’t about kink, and I almost feel the need to apologize to nudists who read my “kink-infested” blog.   No, it isn’t kink, but it is a dramatic and positive change in how we embrace life.  Therefore I find it blog worthy.  That and, to be honest, I am still enthralled and amazed by it.  Like, how did I not discover this sooner?  It was literally staring at me in the face every day in the mirror!     

I assume the prevalence of kink for nudist is no different than kink for non-nudists.  It simply isn’t a “kink” indicator.   Oh well, call me what you want.  Labels only give you part of my story. 

Want the full story?  Okay, at least a fuller story?  You’ll just have to read 250 posts!  Ha.

Next: 251. . . . and sometimes reminders do have to be spankings

242. On the Nudie Farm

242

I just realized that I rarely share Mike’s take on things.  I am not sure why.  The things I ponder in my blog I mull over with him.  His feedback often influences my perceptions, mood, and acceptance or rejection of the meaning of various things.  And it might be interesting to read about the times his views are different from mine.  It’s settled then.   My posts aren’t long enough (sardonic), so expect more insights into Mike.

Still catching up on the various happenings in my life since taking a mini-break from steady blogging.  Two weekends ago we took a trip with T1 and E to visit her cousin’s farm.  It is just under a four-hour drive.  We got in late on a Friday and spent Friday and Saturday night with them before returning home.  Yes, this is the “Nudies” I wrote about in  233. Meet the Nudies.

I hope my calling them “the nudies” is interpreted in the way I intend.  I say it to honor the fun and unapologetic way they go about being nudists.  I admit I am a bit obsessed with the Nudies at the moment.  I am in awe and it makes me even more eager to meet the rest of E’s family at the nudist resort this summer. So no story of discipline here, just more about the Nudies and a cliffhanger!  

BACKSTORY – THE REASON FOR OUR VISIT
My son wanted to show Mike and I a property that they put a bid on.  It is a farm adjacent to the Nudies. 

As E puts it, “her family loves the land.”  One set of grandparents have a ranch, and most of her aunts, uncles, and cousins from that side of the family live on farms or ranches.  And, another little E-family factoid – her grandfather fell for a lot of get rich quick schemes and lo’ and behold, one of them worked.  He ended up a part owner in an oil exploration company that, sure enough, found oil.  Although he is still alive, he has provided his grandkids like E with a nice financial head start in life.  Not like “never have to work” type money, but enough to have a lot of choices when it comes to where to live, which is the point of this — 

The property adjacent to her cousin’s came up for sale and T1 and E are looking to buy it.  It’s 50 acres of mostly trees and brush.  There is a small house on it that they plan to remodel, some pens, a stable and a chicken coop.  It needs a lot of work.  The previous owners were elderly and hadn’t kept up with maintenance needs for years.  A real fixer-upper!

It makes me laugh to think of T1 tending to animals.  He was born and raised in suburbia. As they both work they don’t plan to have a lot of animals, maybe a couple of horses and some goats and or pigs, and chickens.  T1 is a pretty good DIY’er when it comes to home improvements, and apparently E is pretty good herself.  It will also be nice to have her cousin’s next door, although the “door” is about a third of a mile away. 

Now the interesting stuff
When we pulled up to the Nudies house, Mrs. Nudie and Daughter2 (their youngest daughter, now aged 11 as she just had a birthday!)  were outside, naked of course.  Their house isn’t visible from the road or any adjacent properties.  AHA!  So that’s why E’s family likes to live on large properties!

Very quickly Mr. Nudie, Son (age 17), and Daughter1 (middle child, age 15) came out to greet us.  It was not lost on me that this is unusual and yet another sign of their warmth.  They could have stayed inside, but no, they came out to greet us and give us a warm welcome.  The kids greeted J like he was a long-lost sibling, and of course J was eager to ditch his clothes and made me help him get naked right there in the car.  J has really taken to nudism.

Mike and I waited to get inside before disrobing.  T1 and E soon pulled up and in no time everyone was in their birthday suits.  Once again the kids treated J wonderfully.

BTW, Kayla didn’t join us.  She had a big paper to work on for school.  Yes, that what it was, a paper.  It had nothing to do with two very prominent purplish rings on her butt.  But that’s another story. 

SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS
J was sleeping on air mattress in the same room as Mike and I.  T1 and E got the fold out couch.  The youngest daughter wanted J to sleep in her room.  She got very attached to J both during the first time we met them and this visit.  I think it makes her feel good and important as she can “take care of J” if he needs help.  Mike said, “No, he is going to sleep with us, but you can wake him up if you get up before him.”

Our reasoning for having him sleep with us is that simply he was in a strange house and we needed to be able to respond if he needed something at night.  It’s just too much responsibility to put on someone else, let alone a child.   Her response was interesting.

“I know you all are still trying out being naked, but I don’t like boys that way.  We wouldn’t do anything we are not allowed to.”  

She said it in such an innocent way, as if she was trying to reassure us.  I told her, “Yes, we are new, and we really like the way you and your family has made us feel so comfortable.  You are a great example for J but he may need something during the night and that is my job and his dad’s job to take care of him.”  She didn’t argue and just said, “okay.”

Her choice of words intrigued me.  She didn’t say “we wouldn’t do anything bad.”  She said, “not allowed to.”  Later, when the kids were off in another room playing, I asked the Nudies about how do they deal with the topic of sex and at what age?  

BIRDS AND THE BEES WHEN THE BEAK AND THE HONEY ARE IN FULL VIEW?
Their approach to sex ed was fascinating.  I won’t go into all the details.  I will summarize it by saying it was nonchalant, non-judgmental, and very open.  Kind of like their nudism.

The information they provided their children was more detailed, more accurate, and used proper words like penis and vagina instead of baby-talk slang terms.  However, it was also age appropriate.  Once the kid’s curiosity could no longer be satisfied with “babies happen when parents decide they want a child and love each other very much,” they would explain fucking.

Ha!  No they didn’t. I just typed that to see if you were still awake.  Got ya!  No, they didn’t explain fucking.   But at some point in the child’s development they would explain about daddy’s penis touching their mommy’s vagina and if they are lucky, a baby happens, and they were lucky because that is how they happened.  Yeah, in other words, fucking.  lol.

ENOUGH SEX ED, WHAT ABOUT THE VISIT 
The next day the girls wanted to take J exploring around the property — J learned that even a nudist has to wear shoes!  Ha.  I was hesitant as J can lose his balance easily, and the terrain isn’t completely flat, so Mike agreed to join them in their exploring.

I stayed and talked with T1, E, and Mr. & Mrs. Nudie.   Eventually all of us, and Son, went on a tour around their farm. It was so amazing to be walking naked outside.  It reminded me a bit of the time last year when we rented a remote place and were naked outside (151. Immersion 2017 – Forbidden Zone).   It feels so odd, but feels so good.  It really is addicting and writing this give me a craving to do it again. 

As they were showing me around we met up with Mike and the kids.  I already had this wonderful feeling from my own nakedness as well as walking with the others who were naked.  Then, coming across Mike and the kids who were also naked . . . ten of us of varying ages, outside on a lovely day, naked.  There is such an immense beautiful deep sense of innocence, vulnerability, and warmth, in witnessing such a thing.  I can’t fully describe it.

Never once did I have a feeling of inappropriateness or of anything sexual.   While I rationally understood that nudism is not sexual, it was only then that I fully felt it.  It never crossed my mind that any of this was inappropriate or sexual in nature.  My only thoughts were of the beauty of it and of being part of it.

The distinction being that prior to that moment, I was very aware of the awkwardness and novelty of everyone being naked, and very aware of my mind saying, “see, this doesn’t feel sexual.”   But in that moment, I lost the awkwardness, I lost the novelty of it, and the mind only thought of the beauty.  I think in that very moment I crossed over to becoming a nudist!  

THEIR NEW HOMESTEAD
The next day we visited the property that E & T2 bid on.  The realtor met us there and E told us in advance that we don’t have to get dressed for him.  The realtor is a friend of her cousin’s and while not a full-fledged nudist, he has been to their house many times and not only witnessed their nudism, but partook in it.  As they told us before, they have introduced a lot of people into at least experimenting with the lifestyle.

It was really odd getting in the car naked and driving to the neighboring property.  A tip we learned was to take our clothes with us, just in case there is car trouble or something unexpected.  (nothing unexpected occurred, but, at least we were prepared if it did). 

The realtor stayed clothed as he showed us around.  It was another odd moment, walking around naked with this clothed stranger.  Perhaps I was premature in calling myself a nudist as clearly I am still very aware of my nudity in such a situation.  And I was watching E and the Nudies closely.  It was clear they had no reservations or uneasiness about their nudity.  Yep, I still have some learning and adjusting before I am fully comfortable as a nudist.  

MIKE’S TAKE
I took to nudism like a fish to water.  I was already looking to go to a nudist resort when we discovered E was a third generation nudist.  Mike has jumped aboard for the ride but it was at my urging.  Mike tends to be less of an initiator when it comes to being adventuresome, but he is quick to climb aboard with my wild ideas.  You don’t have to look further than our DD as an example of that.  (8. Now I am ready to get hubby aboard).

When the opportunity to get naked arose, Mike had more reservations regarding J than I did.  While ultimately I defer to Mike’s authority, we have meaningful and respectful discussions on many topics, even those we differ on.  And it wasn’t that we differed regarding the nudity, it was just that he was uncertain. 

In situations that concern the kids, Mike tends to give more weight to my feedback than to his own.  Not that he doesn’t have great parenting skills, but he values my motherly instincts.  That doesn’t mean I always get my way regarding issues with the kids, but, I mostly do.

And he admits to feeling awkward, just like I do, but that like me, it is quickly fading.  At first he felt awkward just in his own skin.  No more.  Then he felt awkward around E — his soon-to-be daughter-in-law. . . it just seemed weird.  But E’s comfort with it has rubbed off.

He said he still feels a bit awkward around the Nudies kids, especially the girls.  He is afraid of saying or doing something that could be misinterpreted.  He told me that while they were walking around the property he was thinking, what if one of them fell or he had to carry them, or god forbid, what if he got an erection and he isn’t somewhere he can excuse himself?   Not that he felt anything sexual, but, the comfortness of the walk, a nice breeze.  I mean, it wasn’t likely to happen, but, what if, and it weighed on his mind.

Enough about being nudism and the Nudies. 

SAY WHAT???
How about something salacious for my next post?   I mentioned two posts back that there were two things I was reluctant to share.  One rhymed with ski, and I wrote about it in my previous post.  The other rhymed with bartend, and I will write about it in my next post.

What rhymes with bartend?  Could it be “boyfriend?”   Perhaps Kayla got a boyfriend?

Well, that would be half right.   Could it be she got a girlfriend?  Or wait, what if someone else got a boyfriend?  Who could that someone else be?   I wonder?  !!! ???  !!!

Next: 243. I got a boyfriend!

240. I recovered my True Blogging Self

GET ON WITH IT
I plan to get back to more regular posting soon.  I do have a lot I want to share.

If you’ve been following me for awhile, you know that self-reflecting is a “thing” with me.  This time I’ve been reflecting while pretty much abstaining from social media and my blog (with a few exceptions).  I haven’t even watched much tv or the news.  I’ve been doing a lot of reading, yoga, and meditating.  Cutting out all this “noise” allowed for some intense reflection.  

MY FALSE NARRATIVE
During the hiatus I had a few things occur that I wanted to share with you.  About half way through writing I thought, “Nah, that doesn’t fit with my blog.”  So I wrote about something else.  “Nope, don’t want to go there as that isn’t who I am on my blog.”   So I wrote something else.  Same thing.  “I shouldn’t share that.”  Then, “I can’t share this.”  And so on.  I would also tell myself, “It’s been about two months since you shared about being disciplined.  It is a DD blog after all, write about  being disciplined.  My blog is
“supposed” to be about DD!”  Then it hit me.  Why am I editing myself?

I realize I created this narrative in my head about what my blog was

BULLSHIT!
This narrative was getting stronger in my head.  It made me start to think that too many of my posts were straying from this narrative, thus I shouldn’t post them.  I don’t know what caused me to fall into this thinking.  I have finally woke up and am calling bullshit on myself!

The true narrative is much more simple.  It is a blog about me and what I choose to write about.   Period.    

Mostly I choose to write about experiences that surprise me, enlighten me, and help me be the wife, mother, and person that I want to be.  And what I want to be is someone who fulfills their husband while also filling themselves, and doing so with abandon!   I love that some people follow me and even engage in comments (and some emails!).  But ultimately, I started writing simply for me, and need to continue to write simply for me. 

SHY JENNY?
I will get my many half-written posts finished.  Two are on topics I find hard to share.  What’s odd is these two particular things make me feel negatively judged.  That’s dumb when you consider I obviously don’t care about any judgement from readers.  Spank my butt, bind my breasts, clamp my nipples and clit, stick a butt plug in me, give me an enema, scold me, send me to my room to stand in the corner, whip my boobs, slap my palms, watch me go to the bathroom, have threesomes, foursomes, and the list goes on.  I share all those details without reservation.  But these two things??

Maybe because I am still trying to figure out what they really mean about me and what I think they represent.  That’s it!  I am pretty sure anyway.  I am not yet convinced they represent what I want.  Maybe they do…at least enough that I continue to pursue them, but, maybe they don’t?   What are these things?  You’ll have to wait for those posts!  Here’s a hint…one rhymes with ski, the other with bartend.

Domestic discipline, D/s, poly, and the swinging are definitely the salacious parts of my blog.  But frankly those things represent part of how I choose to fulfill the mantra my mom instilled in me of love life, every moment every day.   And sometimes I like to add, “and LIVE life, every moment, every day.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION
And as I think about the true narrative of my blog, I arrive at this.  It represents elaborating on what that mantra means to me.  It means that
life should be free to live in a way we desire it, not based on what others may desire for us.  (I think that is why I am currently so fascinated and excited with nudism).  We are all unique, with our own desires.  We should not be shackled in the prison that society can often be.

It’s amazing when you consider that anything short of a rule of law is a cage we self impose on ourselves and agree to be confined to.  Maybe because it is family tradition, or we are concerned what the neighbors would think?   Frankly, I would much rather be submissive to my husband, than submissive to a false set of every changing moods and preferences of our institutions and the population at large.

It can be uncomfortable at times, as we all like to feel accepted.  But for me, I’d rather explore life as I want to explore it, embraced by a few meaningful relationships, than live life as others expect it, and be accepted by the faceless masses.

PERHAPS NOT THE REVOLUTIONARY
I laughed a little at what I just wrote.  I believe in what I wrote, but it sounds like I am a raving non-conformist.  Clearly much of my personal life does not conform, but it is in a very conforming wrapper; suburbia, mini-van, PTA, etc.  And frankly, both Mike and I like it that way. 

We were raised to be more conforming and we bought into living and being a certain way that is conforming.  We still find some comfort in holding on to certain societal shackles (i.e. “traditions and expectations) – but we sure have broken..or more accurately, obliterated.., many other such shackles.

Or have we?  Just look around.  I am beginning to suspect the non-conformist is a silent majority, wrapped in various camouflaging shackles that make them hard to spot.  But as they grow in confidence to loosen their shackles, even shed them entirely, their non-conformity begins to turn to a “new normal.” 

It’s slowly becoming more about how you choose to non-conform versus whether or not you are a non-conformist?  And as for kink and conforming to sexual “norms.” Well, hey, it’s been six years since this Newsweek!   I just may be a conformist after all!

Next: 241. Blogoverary, Anno Blogini 2