296. Piercings and Pubes

If you haven’t figured out by now, I lack an ability to be succinct.   I am not one to say in a few words what I can exhaustively analyze, deconstruct, and put back together in hundreds of words.  See, even then I couldn’t just leave it as an inability to be succinct.

I thought this would be a quick post.  Simply to state that I let my nipple piercings close and have been growing my pubic hair.    

Done.  End of post!

Not.

JEN IS EMBARRASSED?
I am not one to normally feel self-conscious about things, whether it is what people think about TTWD, or about my appearance, or really about anything.   However – I found myself becoming more self-conscious about my nipple piercings and pubic hair.  

It’s ironic that our nudism was part of the trigger for this uneasiness.  After all, I’ve found that nudism makes you less self-conscious and more accepting of your body.   Yeah, I get it.  I can try to rationalize away my uneasiness, but sometimes, you just can’t.  You feel what you feel and you just have to deal!  Emotions don’t care about logic.   

Pre-nudism, my piercings and pubic hair were private and limited to the purview of those involved in TTWD.  But now that we are full-fledged nudists, well, it ain’t so private anymore!  And had a growing self-perception was that I was putting out a message that didn’t represent me or my thoughts.  Something had to change.  Those thoughts weren’t changing, so, the piercings had to go, and the hair had to return. 

HAIR DOWN THAIR
For the longest time, Mike had me and Kayla with the same “look” down there, whether it be hair or no hair.  But then Mike went through a phase where he had one of us sporting one look while the other sports another.  “Visual variety” as he calls it!   Um, okay, as if our different physiques weren’t visual enough.  Mine is not to question why.  Mine is but to do or get spanked!   lol

My self-consciousness over this started when I was bare and Kayla was bushy.  It started to feel to me like I was putting out the perception that I was trying too hard to do what the young folks do.  

And it wasn’t just my mind comparing myself to Kayla.  When we are at T & E’s farm, I am often the only one bare down there.   At times the 17-year old has been bare, but it messes with my mind either way.  When she is bare, I feel like I am trying to “style” myself after the teenager.  When she doesn’t, it compounds my self-consciousness that I am the odd one.  

NIFTY 50
Part of what was going through my mind is that I am going to be 50 later this year.  I also think my tattoo added another wrinkle to a weakened psyche.  Not to say a 50-year old can’t rock a new tat along with her nipple piercings and bare pussy. . . but THIS 50-year old?  Why do I want piercings drawing more attention to my vein-marbled-droopy-boobies along with looking like I am trying really hard to “compete” with Kayla?

Adding to what was influencing my emotions — I am only around naked women who are younger than me, and sometimes much younger.  Kayla is the 24-year old with the awesome figure, yet no nipple piercings.  (She did pierce her nipples and clit shortly after moving in with us, but let them close-up only after a few months).  

Again, I get it.  I know there is nothing wrong with anyone of any age piercing whatever they want to pierce, or having their pubic hair in whatever shape or length that they want, or getting a new tattoo at any age.    It was just for me, all this added up to something my psyche wasn’t comfortable with it. 

THE GUYS?
For whatever reason, the pube situation in the men and boys has no influence over my uneasiness.  If you are keeping score, you can mark down Mike as one who goes back and forth with his look.  Frankly, he would probably leave it grown out but Kayla enjoys shaving him and he never refuses when she asks.  And as for other menfolk, it’s a mixed bag of various looks from bare to full to all things in-between.  

MIKE’S SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
In discussing this with Mike, he shared that he also was starting to feel a bit self-conscious about the pube thing, but with Kayla.  He said the first time we were around others and Kayla was bare and I wasn’t, he started to think others might be inclined to think he wants Kayla to look like a little girl.  Like, it isn’t enough that she is so much younger than him, and is very youthful in her physique, but she makes herself look more like a little girl.  Wow, that never crossed my mind, but once he said it, I too had a hard time getting it out of my mind.

REFLECTION
We both know that the chances are good these thoughts are only in our mind and not what others are thinking.  And even if they aren’t thinking such things, so what?  Right?  Well, again, you can’t rationalize away some thoughts.   

It would be different for us if the “others” we are talking about were strangers at a nudist beach or kink-friends involved in TTWD.   But we are a family of nudists in a growing family of nudists.  I think that’s why, in this particular situation, I am more sensitive to thinking about what others might be thinking. 

I don’t mind people thinking odd or ill thoughts of me regarding our relationship with Kayla or any aspect of TTWD that they may be privy too.   If they don’t like it, well, too bad.   But, it bothers me to think that others may believe that I feel I am in competition with Kayla, and it bothers Mike to think others may believe he is into little girls.   To be clear, no one has ever indicated or implied any such things.   These are just things in our minds, but they are powerful enough that we have addressed them. 

And don’t think I am some fragile self-conscious timid and insecure person.   I am not.  But when it comes to my nipple piercings and my bare pubic area —  well, guilty!  

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW?
So piercings are gone and hair is growing back. 

I remain committed to sporting whatever type of pubic hair, or lack thereof, that Mike wishes, and will pierce whatever part of my body he wants me to pierce.  But for now, he has allowed me to remove the piercings.  And he had Kayla shave so that both she and I were bare together, and then we both have been growing it in for about a month now.

I sense at some point I will look back at this and not relate to feeling self-conscious and find my feelings silly.  But frankly, it is not up to me anyway.  I will share with Mike whatever it is I am felling at whatever time he may ask about it, and will abide by his demands.   I just hope he doesn’t ask for a bejeweled butterfly a la the image I used on this post!  Then again, maybe I can usher in a new trend for the newly 50-somethings!

Next: Post 297. Love without Limits.  My Ode to Blogging. 

125. Kayla’s Immersion (and “slappy” anniversary to me!)

Wow, almost 3 weeks between posts.  That’s a record for me.  

Couple of reasons for this respite.  Same old, “life got busy” stuff but also we had flu bug hit our house.  First me, then my son.  It probably accounted for about four or five days of being all off schedule.  Then there was just other things we can file under “stuff happens” that kept me at bay.

The most noteworthy item regarding my DD household will, of course, be about Kayla.  But before that….

Slappy Anniversary!
Oh, by the way, March 17 was the two-year anniversary of us adopting a lifestyle of Domestic Discipline!   Still loving it and I can’t imagine myself living any other way!

Okay, back to Kayla…
Her original “contract” is up soon and she has been anxious to update and replace it. She found this “play” checklist that she used to articulate her desires and limits, and suffice to say, there were only a few things on this checklist that she marked “no.”   It really is a well thought out list.  I encourage you to check out it.  

For some of the items it was a “yes, but…” but again, very few no’s.  Kayla has recognized that she has a desire for a much deeper submission a more Master/slave versus Dominant/submissive.  Much like my Submissive Frenzy, and my subsequent M/s immersion, she is craving more subjugation.  Before she codified her terms of subjugation, I strongly encouraged her to have her own M/s immersion.  I wanted her to first experience some of the things she was craving and make sure they really “scratched the itch” in the way she anticipated.  

Spring Break gave us a great opportunity to do this “immersion” as there was a three-day period where J would not be with us.  He and his cousins were spending time at my parents.  Let the immersion begin. 

I am not going to share many details as those details are about Kayla’s journey, not mine. But I will share a few observations.

KAYLA PREPARES
Kayla went in confident that the immersion was an introduction to a new way of living versus just a trail that would soon end.  She prepared herself in some pretty extreme ways. She shaved off all her hair, from head to toe.  She got her nipples and her clit pierced, which is a fun story by itself that I’ll try to remember to post about later.  Just know that Kayla, who can take a spanking like pro, is not fond of needles and didn’t even get her ears pierced until she was 17.   She would tell you that she had more trepidation over getting those piercings than she had about the immersion.  

For me the most extreme things was shaving her head and eyebrows.  She said she wanted to look different and to her it represented starting anew and growing anew.  It was very emotional for her.  She cried when she first looked in the mirror, but not in a sad way.  She said she was overwhelmed with a euphoria and a sort of extra sensory reaction from seeing the visual representation of starting a new journey.   It wasn’t a bawling type of cry.  She was smiling and chuckling as tears streamed down her face.

We got a general agreement as to what she was looking for in her immersion. She didn’t want to give Mike or me too many specific requests or guidelines.  Through the checklist she told us what would be acceptable, plus she went over a range of ‘acts of service” that she wanted to have expected of her, and sexually she said she was completely at Mike’s disposal for anything, any time,  – and anyone – that he commanded.  She wanted to be surprised and have her limits pushed.  So push we did, especially Mike. 

KAYLA’S IMMERSION
I am not comfortable sharing much about it.  I think perhaps in some ways it is because it was more than what I would want for myself, so I have a little harder time connecting to it enthusiastically.  I also had to see Mike be the Master and again, in ways that were more than I would want for him.   I had to keep my mind focused on Kayla’s wishes and focused on her happiness.  Spoiler alert – she was happy with the entire experience.  However, I still don’t have the enthusiasm to write about it, plus, it was such a personal journey for her that I don’t want to risk diminishing it through my own interpretations.  It was something for her and not intended for me, so why risk taking her experience from her through my own analysis of it?  

The things she did and had done to her were very intense, both physically and emotionally. So much so I don’t even want to relive it in writing.  There were a couple of times I told Mike I thought it was too much, but he persisted and said as long as both of us felt Kayla was capable of speaking for herself he would continue until Kayla said she had enough. Half way through the third and last day, Kayla actually relented and called “red” to stop, not just the particular activity, but the immersion.

She went to sleep very early that day and we let her sleep in the next.  She slept for almost 18 hours.  Before she went to sleep we spent a lot of time with her, reassuring, lots of after care, and that continued the next day, and luckily J didn’t come home until late that day.  That gave us pretty much the entire day to focus on Kayla.  

She was chipper, and said she felt refreshed, but a bit sore, like after an intense work out.  We went easy on her for the whole day and pretty much took the day off from any DD.  She reflected positively on the experience and felt very good about reaching her limit.  She had no regrets, which was a relief to Mike and I as we thought perhaps things got a bit too intense.

She said she definitely wants some of the M/s things in her new contract but agreed she doesn’t want to try to live the immersion 24/7.  For one, it just isn’t practical for us, but more importantly, it isn’t what she wants.   She has already shared a draft and has made several edits.  She also wants to plan for another immersion in the summer.  Yikes!  That is asking a lot of Mike.  I plan to somewhat repeat my  M/s immersion from last year.  (J spends at least a week at my parents during the summer).  

It all makes for a funny conversation – talking about how to accommodate Kayla’s submissive needs and desires as well as mine.  If anyone overheard us they would think we are crazy.  Maybe we are!    Crazy happy, that’s for sure! 

NEXT: 126. Catching Up (on spankings and other stuff)

 

 

 

 

 

 

34. M/s immersion complete

Immersion complete!

I don’t know where to start or what to share first.  I believe it will take many posts to share some of the ups and down of our foray into a Master/slave dynamic.

To summarize, it was exhilarating and exhausting, arousing and mundane, sensible and absurd.  While always in the veil of serving Mike, it also had moments of self-absorption and self-reflection.  Overall it was a positive experience and I am glad we did it.

I learned that M/s is not for us; however, there are elements we are taking back to what now appears to us as our tame and “normal” domestic discipline arrangement.

I’ll share some specifics on future posts but want to share now that the most surprising part of it for me was how physically demanding it was.  I had thought of quitting at one point as I was just exhausted.  I was trying hard to not show my fatigue but Mike could clearly see it.  The night of day 7 he allowed me to take a warm bath, (all bathing prior to this was with cold water).  He then put me to bed early and put a blindfold on me, put on some sound effect app that played the sound of water rushing through a river, and he turned out the lights.  In addition to going to bed early, I got to sleep until I woke up on my own.  That rest and lovely gesture was just the medicine I needed as I was ready to take on the last three days with a full head of steam.

As a tease, some of the more interesting stories were when we needed a plumber and Mike made me stay naked during the service call, or some of the things Mike and John worked out regarding me and Donna, or our attending two FetLife functions, or the several new toys/implements Mike surprised me with.  Mike also came up with two new punishment techniques, both of which are easily at the top of my least favorite list.  Also, I will share the things we are taking into our daily DD routine/rules.  Lastly, we “celebrated” the end of the immersion with getting my nipples pierced, which also has a fun story attached (although not as salacious as I had hoped it would be).

We have a few days to mentally and physically re-set and our son will be back home. Given that it is summer, our DD and TTWD will occur less frequently since our son will mostly be home.  DD is so inconvenient, but Mike and I have already devised a plan to make sure we don’t ignore it.

Next: 35. Calisthenics of Doom & a Tease