Tag Archives: nipple clamps

228. Addicted to Vulnerability (psst..and a spanking story)

228

I got a spanking last Friday after almost three weeks discipline-free.  That’s a long time for me.  I enjoyed the break.  I was feeling a bit down after many transgressions to end and start the year.  Constantly failing to do as Mike expects (and I expect of myself) wears on me and I was starting to feel like I was failing.  The nice stretch of excellent obedience helped reinvigorate me.  

THE TRANSGRESSION
Mike asked me to organize a bunch of family papers…insurance, invoices, tax documents, stuff like that.  I forgot!  He linked my inattentiveness to my
prior transgression of spending too much time on the internet…”You don’t forget to log on the first chance you get, but you forget a chore I assign you.”

THE DISCIPLINE
He was working from home when he realized I failed to do as he asked.  He told me to get a paddle and the nipple clamps with the chain and come back to his office.  He put the nipple clamps on me and added some weights that pulled the chain down.  He had me bend over and he spanked me 10 times on each check with a paddle – so 20 spankings. I then had to organize the files and return when I was done (the clamps stayed on).

I returned to his office about 45 minutes later.  He removed the clamps, lectured me a bit, then told me to stand in the corner.  In about 10 minutes he called me over.  He told me to firmly affix the clamps back on my nipples myself.  He then had me bend over and said I was getting 10 more on each check and, “There will be more if the clamps fall off.”  There is always a bit of jostling to my body during a spanking.  The weighted clamps start swinging, but almost always hold.  I guess I cheated a bit and didn’t have them on as firmly as I should.  One fell off half way through, and the last one fell off on the very last strike.  Thus he gave me an additional 10 more per cheek.

In all that was 30 on each cheek, and in various spots such that my entire ass was very red.  He then peed in a glass and had me stand in the corner and he gave me a few minutes to drink it up.  It was a lot!  Luckily it wasn’t too bad, pee can be pretty tasteless at times.  Anyway, yuck, I know.  This was a bit unusual for a punishment but not unheard of and I accept it.

When I finished drinking he tightly clamped my nipples and told me to stay in the corner.  Again about ten minutes later he walked up to me and told me to take a step or two back and lean against the wall.  There was no count, but I was spanked maybe 10 or 12 more times.  He then told me to pull the clamps off…not unclasp them…simply pull until they snapped off.  Ouch!   We then had our closing ceremony and that was that.  Sore butt and sore nipples!

THE REFLECTION TRAIN
I am almost three years into my DD and find that I don’t reflect on punishments as much as a once did.  I accept them and move on.  But, with almost three weeks punishment free, it put me in the mood to ride the reflection train. 

First stop, give thanks.
Before considering a negative thought for even a nanosecond, it is best to first give thanks.  I am thankful not only for all that DD has given me — more fulfillment than I ever had in the ~24 years of marriage that preceded our DD.  But I am thankful for our routine that allows me to maintain the submissive mindset that I love and thrive in.  Spankings from our Maintenance Sessions and our “leave the house” policy (were I get a quick reminder spanking anytime I leave to go somewhere with Mike) showed their value during the almost three weeks I went without discipline.  

Second stop, doubt.
Yep, even if just for moment, I sometimes take a quick stop at the Doubt Station and wonder why.  Why do I accept this?  Why do I need this?   I think occasional doubt is healthy.  You want to allow yourself to reassess things from time to time.  It doesn’t take me long to quickly squash those doubts.  I simply think through the answer and “poof,” the doubt is gone.  I thrive being submissive, I love everything about my household environment.  ~24 years of non-DD was never as fulfilling!

Third stop, “What if?”
My mind then takes a stop at the “What if?” Station.  I tend not to stay here too long either.  Personally I find “what if” to be unproductive.  But sometimes getting lost in thought doesn’t have to be about finding personal growth.  It can just be entertaining, and playing “what if” can be like a short imaginary adventure (or nightmare).  I wonder, back when I first brought up DD – what if Mike had rejected the idea?

It wouldn’t have made him a bad person.  Clearly, this dynamic is not for everyone.  Where would I be..where would we be…without it?   Worst of all, I’d be the same controlling Jen I used to be.  Mike wouldn’t be as happy, I wouldn’t be as happy, J wouldn’t be as happy.

And beyond no DD, would it mean no Kayla in our lives?  That crushes me too – we love her so much!   And I guess we would just have continued our platonic friendly relationship with John and Donna?  Clearly no Matt, and perhaps E not opening up to us about her naturism?  My lunch bunch friends would just be lunch bunch friends, unbonded over sharing some of our deepest desires.  Sex toys?  Probably few, if any.  My nipples wouldn’t be pierced, my blog wouldn’t exist, and the list goes on and on.

I feel so fortunate that Mike was open to exploring this with me.  He met the vulnerability I was showing with vulnerability of his own.  It takes two to have a successful DD or D/s relationship.  I am so fortunate to have Mike embrace this as he has. 

Last stop, Revelation!

My mind then takes it’s longest stop in it’s journey — the  Revelation Station.  Is there something my thoughts can reveal to me that perhaps was buried in my psyche? 

It begins to reveal itself to me. 

The old Jenny was impenetrable, vulnerable to no one, but who was nourished by the vulnerability of others — some life crisis people would share with her, eliciting her advice and guidance.   On the surface you could extol positive virtues on that Jenny — helpful, caring, loving, nurturing, wise.  In hindsight, her behaviors can be seen in a more accurate light – she had a need to feed off the tragedy of others.  That’s pretty pathetic.

Sure, others received some benefit in having a compassionate shoulder to cry on, but that compassionate was more selfish — about my need to feel better about my insecurities, my shortcomings, my unstated desires, as well as to continue to cover up and suppress the desires I didn’t even recognize were in me.

It changed when I became vulnerable through DD.  Yes, I still like to talk with people about their challenges, hopes and desires, but now it is truly from a compassionate, loving place.  Through my own vulnerability, I feel complete, confident, and courageous.  I am more honest with myself than I ever imagined possible – more honest with Mike and those around me in ways that would have scared the hell out of the old Jenny. 

Honesty — yeah, that’s the courageous part.  You have to have a lot of courage to be so honest about your needs, your hopes, your desires.  It takes tremendous courage to make yourself vulnerable to someone.  But once you do and experience positive results, it becomes addictive. 

I believe that’s were my satisfaction from exhibitionism comes from.  It isn’t just about sexual exhibitionism.  It is an emotional exhibitionism.  I am thriving off making myself vulnerable.  I think that is what makes Mike so adamant about reigning me in.  As I said before, if it were up to me, I’d be putting all of this on a YouTube channel, not an anonymous blog.   

And I don’t do it because of any need for attention or “look at me.”  I do it because I discovered the key to others being truly vulnerable to you, is for you to be vulnerable to them.  It then feeds on itself.  And for a vulnerability addict like myself, provides an amazing high.   

I never really understood that before, but it makes so much sense to me.  I guess that’s why I have so many posts dedicated to vulnerability.   (67129, 134 and others. And now I get why, to fall in love with someone, you do this).  

Vulnerability is an amazing aphrodisiac .  Either that, or I am just an eccentric psycho succubus slut of a weirdo.  Humm..nah, that’s not it.  Ahem, well, maybe one out of four?  You’ll just have to guess which one.  HA!

Next: 229.  Heading to Splitsville?

210. A Best, er, Breast Punishment

210

Back to a topic that many of you seem to prefer over my blah, blah, blah, ramblings of self-reflection and discovery…spankings!

Last year my most visited post got 6 times the views of #2.  #1 was a spanking story, #2 was my contract.  And numbers 3-6 were all discipline stories.  Oh well, I am resigned to the fact that my eloquent, insightful, heart-felt, personal and profound revelations that mean so much to my personal growth and fulfillment and life take second fiddle to masturbatory fodder.  In celebration of the latter, here you go!

I shared in a prior post that we implemented a few extra submissive duties to give us added focus to help us “reset” and return to our pre-holiday submissive mindset.  These extra’s would stay in place for as long as Mike feels they are warranted.   

DAY OFF
We started this “reset” with a day off on Monday.  It was fabulous.  As much as I thrive at being submissive, a day of pampering and fun with Kayla was an amazing mental and physical vacation.  Like most vacations, as much as you enjoy them, you are glad to get back home.  We loved the girls day and evening out (and night in, wink wink, nudge nudge), but I was also happy to start focusing on returning to the submissive mindset I had leading into the holidays. 

BACK TO “WORK”
Mike worked from home Thursday (2 days ago as of this posting).  After I got back from dropping J off at school he called me and Kayla to his office.  He said, “as part of the reset I want you both to put your hands against the wall.  You will get six spankings, three on each cheek.  They will be very hard.  Now take position.”  Keep in mind my butt is still bruised from New Years Eve  (plus a Maintenance spanking, a few spankings as part of our “leave the house” spankings, and one for a punishment).

We did not hesitate and we take position, already naked as per our “dress code.”  In an instant Mike is behind me. He was not joking – they are very hard.  Whack! Whack! One on each cheek and I take a big suck of air. Whack! Whack! I start to flinch but the third two come so quickly that I couldn’t react. Whack! Whack! My knees buckle a bit and my ass is on fire.  He spanks Kayla and from the corner of my eye I can tell she has a similar reaction.

THE STICK
He was using this board he keeps out in the open in his office.  You would think it is just some spare piece of wood that belongs to something.  No one would think it is a paddle, which is why he likes to keep it out in the open.  We know what it is and we affectionately refer to it as “the stick.”  I measured it and it is 16.5 inches long. The striking surface is 2.5 inches wide and it is three-quarters of an inch thick.  I think it is pine, which is a softer wood, but at 2.5 inches thick, I wouldn’t call it soft.   

TOP OF THE HOUR (TOH)
Mike tells us he is working from home because Kayla didn’t have class.  With both of us home he had an idea.  “Return to my office at the top of each hour and without talking take position against the wall.  You will each get one on each cheek, very hard, and you will stay in position until I dismiss you.  I only want to hear a ‘Thank you, Sir,’ as you leave the room.  You may go now.”

By the burning I was feeling I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was by just how red Kayla’s butt was.  You would have thought she was spanked 50 times, not 6.  I am not one to always look at my butt after a spanking, but I was curious.  I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror and indeed, my ass is very red, along with the now yellow splotches and the faint blue marbled remnants of the New Years Eve spanking.  

An hour later we return to his office and get our next spanking, and again an hour after that.  I have to go to the store so I go to his office for my “leaving the house” spanking.  I get six or seven with his belt.  He dismisses me and adds, “Since you will be gone at the top of the hour, come to my office as soon as you get home and we will catch up on any spankings.”

Luckily I only have a few things to pick up, which I do very quickly. I am only gone 40 minutes.  I enter the house relieved that I am only behind one TOH spanking and still have almost 30 minutes to recover before the next one.  I bring in the groceries, take off may clothes, and put the groceries away.  I make a much needed stop at the bathroom to pee, and then head to Mike’s office.

DISOBEDIENCE
I assume position against the wall and Mike ask, “It’s been almost ten minutes since you pulled up, why didn’t you come to my office right away?”

“I put the groceries away, Sir, and had to pee,” I said matter-of-factly and fully assuming there was not an issue other than he was curious.

In a monotone voice Mike followed with, “Did I tell you to come to my office when you got home?”

“Yes, Sir,” I said with a bit of a question on it.

“Did I tell you to put away groceries first?”

“No, Sir.”  I knew not to add a “but..” because he didn’t ask for an explanation.

“So you choose not to immediately come to my office even though I told you to do so.  Do you agree that was disobedient?”

Mike doesn’t usually ask me such things but I welcomed the opportunity to respectfully respond.  “No, Sir, I don’t agree that it was disobedient of me to not come in here right away.”   He asked me to explain.

“Sir, I also took the time to disrobe, as per my requirement to be naked.  Putting the groceries away also is a requirement, as leaving them out would not be in keeping with an orderly house.  I was following my rules and I came right away as soon as I attended to those duties.”

“Fair enough,” Mike said, “and the bathroom?”

“Well Sir, I really had to go.”

“So your comfort was more important than my command?”  His voice remained monotone, almost like an interrogation from an emotionless detective.  I can’t see his body language as I am in position facing the wall.  Is he being playful or being serious? I’ve learned that when in doubt, assume he is serious. 

“Sir, I knew I was getting a spanking, and I really had to go and was thinking based on the other spankings I could end up peeing on the floor if I didn’t go first.  I thought it best to be spanked on an empty bladder.”

“You could have thought ahead and gone before you left to the store, or, you could have respectfully asked for permission to speak before I spanked you and told me of your predicament.  You could have asked Kayla to put away the groceries.  You could have come to me first with your “conflicting” rules and asked for clarification.   You could have done a number of things.  Instead, you made a decision that contradicted my command.  It isn’t a matter of whether your actions were reasonable.  They were in violation of my command.  When I tell you I want you in my office, you need to make every effort to comply.  You didn’t show that effort regarding the groceries, and going to the bathroom is not even an obligation you have to me.  I will give you your top of the hour spanking and then deal with your disobedience.”

I manage a prompt “Yes, Sir,” and sigh ever so slightly and barely shake my head as if to say “No.”   He walks up behind me. Whack! Whack! One for each cheek – VERY hard.

He sternly tells me “Your sigh, nodding no, AND not promptly coming to my office needs to be addressed.I responded with a clear and undisputed “Yes, Sir.”  But my mind was already thinking about how much more of a spanking I could tolerate.   It was also Maintenance Thursday, which means a likely caning that evening.

Mike sits back down at his desk. I stay against the wall waiting for whatever he has in mind.  He says nothing for what seemed like forever.  Eventually he leaves his office without saying a word.  I remain in position. 

He returns and I hear items being plopped on his desk.  He tells me to turn around and I can see he brought our riding crop, some rope, nipple suckers, and my tack bra.  I am  a bit relieved as I had envisioned seeing some spanking implements.  Instead, these supplies mean I am in for a breast punishment.

I’ve shared before I like breast punishments, but let me explain.  All the discipline I receive is uncomfortable and serves as a motivation to avoid such pain.  However, I find something additionally submissively rewarding about my breasts being punished.  It feeds my submissive mindset more than spankings.   And it has been awhile since my breasts were the focus of a punishment.

PUNISHMENT BEGINS
Mike applies the suckers, pumps them many times, engorging my nipples as they extend to full attention.  My breasts get tightly wrapped with the rope and Mike affixes a ball gag that seemingly appears from nowhere.  I stand in the corner for about ten minutes.  My tits start taking on a pinkish hue from the restricted circulation.

Mike turns me around, removes the suckers and twists each nipple between his thumb and forefingers.  Ahhg!  It was like a bee was stinging my nipples as I gritted my teeth. 

The drool from my gag drips down my chin and streams down between my breasts.  Mike grabs the crop and strikes my breasts on top, then the sides, then underneath.  It is a medium force but each breast is hit probably 100 times or more at a very fast pace.

The leather pad at the end of the crop gently taps my nipple as Mike lines up his target.  Whack!  A very hard direct hit to my nipple! I lurch forward from the pain and as soon as I straighten up, Whack!  Another even harder hit.  Then another.  He then lines up and repeats this on my other nipple.  

Mike goes back to striking all over each breast and again ends with several hard strikes to my nipples.  He now uses his hands, slapping each breast many times in very rapid succession.  50?  More?  Too many to count.

Suckers are applied again, pumped numerous times. He removes the ropes but it is temporary. He repositions them, tighter.  Back to the corner I go.

I stay in the corner probably another ten minutes when I hear Kayla come in.  It was the top of the hour.  Kayla doesn’t say anything, assumes her position and soon I hear her two spankings. It is not long before I feel the hard strike to each of my butt cheeks. Mike sends Kayla off to get a damp washcloth.

My breasts are now a dark pink, not long before they would be purple.  Throbbing, I feel my heart beating in my nipples.  Mike removes the ropes and the suckers but before I can sense any relief, clothespins are clipped to my nipples.  Ouch!  I hadn’t seen those coming.

My gag and then the clothespins are removed.  Mike tells Kayla to wipe off my drool from my chin, chest, belly, and some that made its way all the way to my leg.  The cold washcloth feels good against my breasts but I jump as she wipes over my highly sensitive nipples.

Kayla finishes cleaning me up and Mike reapplies the clothespins to my nipples – twisting to the right, then the left.  He pulls, and pulls some more.  He keeps pulling – SNAP!  SNAP!  They come off, giving me an immediate shot of pain.

He then puts my tack bra on me.  He attaches the claps and immediately wraps his arms around from behind me and squeezes my boobs, pushing the tacks in.  He gives them a second, harder squeeze, then a third one, harder yet.  

“See you both in an hour.  Jen, we will remove your bra then.  You are dismissed,”

You can imagine how hard it is to do housework or do much of anything with tacks in your bra, especially with tender breasts and nipples at their height of sensitivity.   A few minutes would go by where I would forget they were there and then I move just right, or reach to get something, and “ouch,” yep, something is scratching or poking into one or both tits.  And the tacks on and near my nipples were the worst.  I walked very gingerly, attempting not to shift my upper body. 

I was so looking forward to the next TOH.  Finally it comes.  In addition to the TOH, after removing my tack bra I get another round of swats on the breasts with the crop.  We have our closing ceremony regarding my disobedience, and then I am dismissed.  The day continues as do the TOH spankings until it is time to pick up J from school.

RESET IS COMPLETE
On our last TOH spanking Mike asked us how we were feeling regarding our “reset.
Both of us said we felt it was going well and that we felt we were back to where we were prior to Thanksgiving regarding our submissive head space.   “That’s great to hear, so let’s plan on ending the reset starting when we get up tomorrow.  Today will be the last day.”

And with that, we are fully back in the groove we were at prior to the holidays – along with some tender breasts.

Next: 211. Eek! Dom Fail!

196. This, That, and Some Other Stuff

Things are getting somewhat back into a normal routine.  It won’t last because as Christmas approaches, our middle son, T2, will be home for the holidays.  That will put a kink in our kink!

THIS  —   A COMING OUT (sort of)
Mike and I did share a bit of our lifestyle with our kids and, when appropriate, with anyone else we mingled with over the Thanksgiving.  It was high level information.  Basically that I decided to defer more to their dad, allow him to be more of the decider of things, and stuff like that.  Nothing negative about it.  Growing up they were accustomed to me being more of the domineering one, so it isn’t like there is any kink attached to who the primarily leader or follower is in a marriage.  It just so happens there is a lot of kink attached to ours, but, we left that part out – Ha!

The change was surprising to them, but they were fine with it.  They didn’t even ask too many questions of me.  Basically I just said this is how I choose to be, and they were like, “Okay, Mom.”  

We also told them that Kayla has decided to follow my lead and also look to Mike for guidance and she too is extending the same “respect” to Mike that I do – such as addressing him as “Sir.”  My middle one who is always quick to share what’s on his mind said, “Is it just her respect that she is extending to Dad?”   To which I calmly replied, “I am not sure what you mean, but whatever she extends or doesn’t extend is between your dad, me, and Kayla.”  I think they all understood that there was more going on, but for once my inquisitive son got the hint and decided not to inquire further.   I think part of it is that they just don’t want to know.  Regardless how old you get, you never think of your parents as having any sex life, especially an adventurous one.  

THAT  —  KAYLA AND MICHAUD UPDATE
I mentioned in my last post that the two of them have had sex.  So far their relationship seems to be going well.  I am not sure what to make of Michaud’s acceptance of her relationship with us.  I mean, it’s great he accepts it.  I would much rather he accept it than not.  But a part of me wonders what type of person would accept it?   It has to be tough to know you have a girlfriend who won’t open up and share certain parts of herself  with you.  And not only exclude you from certain parts of herself, but at the same time is including someone else in those parts.   In many ways he is sharing Kayla with us, especially with Mike.  That has to be hard. 

I wonder if it is hard on Kayla too?  She says she is happy with how things have progressed thus far.  She sees her relationship with us as very distinct and separate from Michaud.  She does not defer to Michaud any more or less than he defers to her.  It is a very “normal” relationship, as she puts it, where neither one of them is dominant.  That’s how she wants it.   She says there is the “submissive” Kayla and the “non-submissive” Kayla and she loves both of them.

I did ask her what she would do if she had to make a choice.  She said she doesn’t want to have to do that, but right now, her needs for submission trump her other needs.  But she admits that could change over time.  She just hopes that any changes can go smoothly without anyone being hurt.   We continue to be very supportive of her and made it clear she is not obligated to stay with us.  Of course we want her to stay, but we understand there could come a day where she feels it is best to move on, whether in whole or in part.

Michaud passed a big test in Kayla’s eyes (and mine too) when she was naked in front of him and she had a bruised bottom.  It wasn’t a huge bruise, but a bruise none-the-less.  Kayla said she didn’t try to hide it and told him to go ahead and take a close look at it.  She shared with him how she felt about it (which were all positive feelings) and used the opportunity to again share with him what being submissive means to her.  She said it was a good conversation and Michaud asked a lot of questions, never getting upset or animated by her answers.  She even told him there may be times she has bruises elsewhere, such as on her breasts or thighs.  She doesn’t get bruises often, but she wanted him to be prepared and deal with his concerns now versus later. 

After they talked she ended it with asking him how he was feeling about being with her.  He told her he loved her and while she is a bit “out there” when it comes to what she needs in life, he is happy that he can fulfill and experience whatever part she is looking to share.  He did say that it all does make him feel a bit awkward and insecure at times, but he is trying.  And with that Kayla told him how much she loves him and hates that a part of her makes him feel that way.  She told him she loves him for allowing her to get fulfillment in whatever way she desires it, even if that means it was with someone else.

He did ask the inevitable question of, “Will it always be like this?”  To which she said, “I don’t know.  I don’t know what ‘always’ even looks like.  I just know what I need from life right now.  And I need my submissive life with Mike and Jen, and I need you and I am so happy you allow me to have both.  If we reach a point you aren’t happy with me having both, or I am not happy with both, then we owe it to each other to talk about it, but until then, let’s keep enjoying this.”   And from all appearances, they are. 

SOME OTHER STUFF – THE NEW KAYLA AS A GIRLFRIEND
Kayla shared with Mike and I that her relationship with Michaud is unlike any she has ever had.  Not because of Michaud, although that is a big part of it, but because of her.  She really is a different person than she was in any previous relationship.   She said she is more open and honest with what is on her mind, what she is feeling, what she is needing.  She has never articulated it so clearly and so frequently than she has with Michaud.  She says it feels liberating.   No hidden agenda, no unsaid concerns or unresolved emotions.   She’s just 100% “out there” with him and it feels amazing that he accepts it.

She only hopes Michaud is doing the same on being open and honest.  It sounds like he is not shy to share whatever doubts or needs for information that he has.  How he is reconciling her answers may not be clear, but I think it is a good sign that he isn’t shying away from asking questions 

SOME OTHER STUFF – OH SUBMISSION!
With the passing of Mike’s mom and Thanksgiving, I went two weeks without a spanking.  This time it wasn’t the spanking I missed as much as my overall routine.  But I also missed the sensations.

One night when Mike and I were having sex I asked him to squeeze my nipples really hard, harder, harder.  I then asked for nipple clamps.  Mike obliged both with the nipple suckers first, then the clamps.   It felt so good to “feel the burn.”   

Mike will sometimes slap my breasts when we have sex, but that too needed to be harder this time.  I asked him to slap them harder, and harder still.  It was much like the intensity of a punishment. 

This was different for us in a way, but not really.  Our sex play can get pretty physical.  This was just more than our usual physicality.  I’ve shared before that I don’t mix discipline with sex.  This wasn’t discipline.  It was more about mixing a little pain with the sex, not about mixing sex with the pain.  There is a difference.  I can’t explain it.  Maybe it is self-explanatory?  Anyway, it felt good.  I needed that sensation.  I needed that dominance from Mike.  I needed that submission.   

NEXT:  197. Do ya wanna have sex?

133. Intense Punishment

133
Laying in bed the other day, sore nipples and butt, with a lingering soapy taste in my mouth, I had the “WAID” thought.  The thought of “What Am I Doing?”   I’ve had this thought a few times.   I believe occasional doubt is healthy.  Doubt is simply a lack of knowledge.   Often this is momentary, and the knowledge can be found in a short conversation with yourself.  Other times it may take a bit more than a moment of reflection, but for me, any doubts about DD have always been self affirming regarding my choice to live this lifestyle.   My doubts have always led to a deeper appreciation for what DD has done for me and my family.   WAID never lasts more than a few minutes, and it was no different this time.

The punishments I was reflecting on were from that day and the day before.  Part of myRewardsfor what my actions that I shared in the prior post.

I’ve shared a couple of the more severe punishments I’ve received, and there haven’t been many.  Although I didn’t use my safe word, this punishment topped any I had before, even the one I shared in 24. Intense Spanking , although I didn’t er had to use a safe word this time.  As our son J is home, the punishments were done throughout the day while he was at school or in the evening after he was asleep.

As I think about it, this one wasn’t the worst in terms of pain.  It was the worst in terms of overall discomfort.  In some ways, lingering discomfort or anticipation of what is to come is worst than a moment of acute pain.

I am not that good at sharing punishment stories.  It isn’t my “thing.”  I’d much rather be waxing philosophical about events in my life than sharing the specific details.  Mike says it is because just stating what happens in my life is a very vulnerable thing to do, as it leaves more to interpretation of the reader, and those interpretations may be unfavorable.  A very interesting comment that I want to explore further, but I’ll wait to ponder that one for another post.  So with that ,here’s the punishment I received.

Mike started me off with a mouth soaping, figuring it was appropriate for me opening my mouth and sharing what I shared with my friends.  For a soaping, I open my mouth and stick out my tongue.  Mike rubs an already wet and lathered bar of soap all over my tongue.  I then open wide and he rubs it all around the roof of my mouth, cheeks, and scrapes it across my teeth.  He then has me bite down on the bar to hold it in place in my mouth.

He then used a lot of our new implements from our recent Joy Box additions.   With soap in my mouth, he used our new cupping system on my breasts.  He applied some oil to my breasts, attached some small nipple clamps to my nipples, then applied the cups.  They provide a lot of suction on the breasts.  In the short run you don’t really feel much, but it gets increasingly uncomfortable overtime.  More blood rushes to the breast and they get a pinkish-purple like hue.  He then had me stand in the corner with my hands clasped behind my head.  I was then spanked as I stood there, first by hand, then with various paddles and straps.  Mike inserted a butt plug in me and left me in the corner for an hour.  By far the worst part was holding the soap in my mouth and standing in one place.  By the end of the hour I was a drooling mess and my jaw was sore.

He then walked me to the shower and using the hand nozzle he sprayed me down with cold water to clear the suds and drool from my face, chest, stomach, and legs.   He pulled the cups off my breasts and replaced the small nipple clamps with another pair that are far more intense and he adjusted them to be extremely tight.  He had me lay down on my stomach on the bathroom floor and got out the new cleansing system he ordered.  This was my first enema.

I anticipated it would be uncomfortable, but I didn’t anticipate the degree of the pressure and cramping.  Mike made me hold it in for five minutes, but it felt like much more.  He spanked me a few more times and then allowed me to get on the pot and get it out.   After I was done, he repeated the enema and spanking.  Then he did a third enema and had me hold it in for even longer before expelling.  He then finally removed the nipple clamps, but the respite for my nipples was short.

Mike got our nipple suckers, applied them to my nipples and pumped, and pumped some more.  He pumped more than I thought they could even be pumped.  I’ve never seen my nipples get so big.  He returned to me to the corner where I stood again with hands clasped behind my head.  Mike told me I was not to leave the corner for any reason else more punishment.  Well, I soon learned that the effects of an enema can last awhile and it wasn’t long before I just had to use the toilet.  I was clenching and holding as long as I could, and just about the time I was ready to give in and leave the corner (I wasn’t about to make a mess of things. I’ll take the added punishment), Mike entered the room.   I didn’t say anything as I am not to speak unless spoken to, but luckily Mike asked me how I was doing.  I told him I needed to go and thankfully he let me.

When I was done he removed the suckers and ran the pinwheel hard over my very large nipples for what seemed like a long time, but probably wasn’t. He then went back to the put the cups and applied them to my breasts.   Mike decided to break in another new toy, the anal beads.  I’ve never used anal beads before.  It is one of those progressive sets, and he put all but the last one inside me.  Thankfully even the largest one isn’t crazy big.  Big enough for sure and I was glad he didn’t insert that one, but this set of beads is what I would call an intermediate set.  Whatever you call it, it still call it uncomfortable to have them in for an extended time.  He then had me stand in the corner again and he left, returning in about 45 minutes.

He removed the cups and again added the suckers.  He ordered me on all fours and he played awhile with the beads, pulling them out, inserting them, pulling out, inserting. He took my hand and helped me to my feet and walked me over to a chair.  He sat down, put me over his knee, and spanked me by hand for what seemed like forever – had to be over 100 of various intensities.

He then did another enema and this time when he took the tube out, I was surprised as I immediately felt a butt plug being inserted.  Mike grabbed the bar of soap and administered another mouth soaping.  I was then walked over to the shower.  He told me to stand in the shower with my hands clasped behind my head, bar of soap in my mouth, with a rectum full of warm water.  Mike told me not to leave the tub and he would be back “at some point.”   He came in a few times to check on me and each time he didn’t say a word and then left.  At some point I just couldn’t hold it any longer.  I pushed the plug and water out.  At least after several enemas it was basically just water.

Once I expelled the water, my mind became more aware of my painful nipples. They were burning.   I was so uncomfortable that I started to cry.   Not from any specific pain, but just because I felt miserable, both emotionally and physically.   Expelled water from my ass, terrible soap in my mouth and soapy drool all down my body, nipples on fire, a sore bottom from the spankings, a bit crampy from the enemas, and a sore sphincter from all the clenching.

Mike returned and said, “I’ll be right back.”  He left and returned very shortly with Kayla.  He told Kayla to remove the suckers, clean me up, and dry me off.   He watched as she showered and then dried me off.  “Almost done,” he said.

With Kayla there, he had me state what I did to earn this “reward.”  He then gave a lecture.  He does this sometimes, usually near the end of a punishment.  It’s his way of recapping the events that brought on the punishment, making sure they remained top of mind.  He then told Kayla to get the prison strap and the cane.  He walked me over to the bed and  had me lay down on my stomach.   He then took the strap from Kayla and struck me, then handed it back to Kayla and took the cane and struck me, and then alternated back and forth for I think just five strikes with each item.  It wasn’t many, but they were very hard and were more than enough.  I cried, which again is uncommon for me, but it happens.

We then had ourclosing ceremonycomplete with aftercare, with one caveat.  Mike said we would repeat our entire morning again tomorrow PLUS that night and the next I would spend thirty minutes in the corner with the clamps on, followed by a spanking before bedtime.  Only then would the punishment be fully over.  As bad as the punishment itself was, the anticipation of knowing it would be repeated was just as bad.  Anticipation of a punishment, especially one this long and intense, is a punishment itself.

And when it was all finally over, it was truly over.  What I did was fully behind us, like always.  No lingering resentments.  All is forgiven.  Oh, and Mike added, “You know, if you just would have asked me beforehand, I am pretty sure I would have been fine with you telling your friends whatever you felt comfortable sharing with them.”

NEXT:  Post 134. Vulnerable to my readers / 1yr blogiversary