Tag Archives: mouth soaping

193. Lovebirds and spankings

A quick Kayla and Michaud update and then a rapid fire account of some discipline I received recently.

LOVEBIRDS

Kayla and Michaud continue their real-world-platonic / virtual-sex relationship.  They hang out quite a bit, but Kayla is conscientious of her studies and her duties at home, albeit slightly reduced duties. Overall she is balancing everything very well.  

We’ve all been tested and some results are in (all negative as expected). Mike’s and Kayla’s should be in today or tomorrow.  I know it takes some of the romance out of it, but, although unspoken, it is clear to everyone that this weekend should mark their first time having sex with each other.  It will mark a further deepening of their relationship.  A relationship that is clearly different than most and that has me fascinated, thus my fixation on sharing every detail.   (Thank you, Kayla, for allowing me to do so). 

By the way, although Michaud has an apartment (and a male roommate), Kayla has no plans to stay there overnight any time soon.  A girl’s got to have limits!   She already told Michaud “no overnights.”  She didn’t say it would necessarily be forever, but she wanted to hold that out for a possibility in the future if the relationship continues to flourish. 

Mike and I liked this idea.  Mike could have made this decision for her, but he specifically said he isn’t looking to prohibit what Kayla wants for herself regarding this relationship.  Kayla must keep us informed,and many things must be discussed.  But the focus is on understanding her desires and helping her with the potential challenges. It is not about trying to impose limits. She is 23 and can handle her own relationships.  Kayla is happy with this arrangement but made it clear she wants to be accountable to Mike for her behaviors and desires regarding her relationship with Michaud.  

MY DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE
Oh yeah, this is mainly a blog about me and my DD, not Kayla.   Boring, right? My stuff is old news.  Yawn.   Well, sorry, I am still writing about it. 

After a really good start under our latest Contract, I have found I have fumbled a bit more lately.  Mainly because Mike gave me a bit of a grace period to fully incorporate a lot of my new Duties and Obligations.  That grace period is over.  

ASKING VERSUS TELLING
My Contract requires that I shall not refer to requests made by Mike as “requests” or as being “asked” to do something.  I am to refer to such requests as “orders,” “instructions,” “demands,” or as Mike “telling” me something.   This applies to the blog as well. 

Mike went through what I’ve posted since the new contract started.  He found four references where I wrote of him “asking” me things.  The only exception he has given me is if he is actually posing a question.  I am thankful for that because it would be clunky to say or write a question as a command.  For example, if he asked me, “Where would you like to go this weekend?” I would have to say or write “Mike commanded me to tell him where I would like to go this weekend”  Luckily he said I could pose actual questions he had as being “asked” by him.  But when it comes to things he wants me to do, those are never to be portrayed as him “asking.”

SPANK! And I had to write 40 lines, 10 for each error he found.

FAKE IT UNTIL MAINTENANCE
I earned a spanking one day as Mike felt I was being “less than joyful” about my homemaker duties.  I said something in a negative manner about needing to get some laundry done.  I spoke in a “frustrated and stress filled tone.” 

I am not to communicate to anyone that my homemaker duties are a burden or inconvenience, let alone communicate that to Mike.  If indeed I am feeling overwhelmed by these duties or anything, I can speak to Mike about it at a Maintenance Session.   

SPANK! And, as is becoming the norm, anything related to words I say also come with a mouth soaping. 

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. / Public Spanking!
Mike and I were talking to a sales rep at a store when my cell phone rang.  Mike was mid-sentence, explaining something that he wanted my feedback on and as a reflex, I answered the phone without any thought.  As soon as I said, “Hello,” I realized I messed up.  I promptly said I would call them back and hung up.  I said, “Sorry, Sir, I shouldn’t have answered, you were saying?”

I figured I was in for a spanking when we got home, but Mike had other ideas.  He finished what he was saying, and the conversation continued for a bit, but he clearly looked annoyed.  He then told the sales associate that we needed to “attend to something” and would be right back.

SPANK!   But, in this case, I’ll share the details, because it was atypical.  I’ve only been spanked a few times in public.  Not that anyone saw, but, well, read on . . . 

He clasped his hand across my wrist and clearly “led” me as he briskly and with purpose walked me out.  I was very aware that anyone paying attention could clearly see something was wrong, like a mad parent dragging their unruly child out of the store.  Only difference was that Mike’s look was determined, but not mad.  And other than pursing my lips and looking guilty, there wasn’t anything unruly about me.  While I sense no one paid attention to us at all, I still felt like I was being paraded through the store on a walk of shame.  Even though I knew I was in for some sort of punishment, there was a part of me that found this exhilarating.

It was a fairly crowded parking lot.  I remained silent as he led me to the car and told me to get in the back.  He backed out of the spot and drove to a new spot in a more isolated part of the parking lot.  There were still plenty of cars around us, but clearly a quieter part of the parking lot. 

He opened the back door and told me to lay down on the back seats, stomach down.  He then reached into the car, pulled up my skirt, and pulled down and completely removed my panties. He then closed the back door and he entered the car in the front.  He grabbed his “car stick,” from under the seat,  reached over from the front seat to the back of the car, and struck my bottom about 15 times with a medium force, akin to some warm up swats.

The “car stick” is a non-descript  piece of wood that wouldn’t necessarily be construed as a paddle that Mike keeps in the car just for situations like this.  Since it is just a piece of wood it gives us plausible deniability if someone asks what it is. “Oh, that piece of wood, how did that get left in there,” is our scripted response if asked by kids or anyone else. 

After the initial set of spankings, he lectured me on how disrespectful I was.  He then spanked me very hard several times.  He stopped for moment, looked around, and seeing everything was clear, spanked me hard several more times.   My eyes were watery and my nose got a bit runny, but it wasn’t an actual cry.  Sort of cry-ish.  He then told me to pull down my skirt and leave my panties off.

As he led me back to the store he told me I must apologize to the sales associate.  Oh – I didn’t mention – the sales associate was a young woman, maybe 20-ish.  She looked younger than Kayla.  While I got a bit of a thrill demonstrating my submissiveness by apologizing to Mike and calling him “Sir” in front of  her, the thought of apologizing to her freaked me out a little.

We went into the store and found the sales associate we were working with.  I felt like my eyes had dried but I wasn’t sure.  I was thankful for my conservative skirt.  I have exhibition fantasies but this wasn’t the place for a pussy-slip or to show my ass.  I wasn’t sure what Mike was expecting me to say to the associate.  When she came up to us I  told her, “Ma’am, I am sorry for the interruption I caused when my husband was speaking.  He would like to continue the conversation now.”

She paused for a few seconds, as if she was trying to process what they heck I was doing.  She snapped out of the mini-trance and said slowly, with small gaps between each word, “Oh, that’s quite alright, no need to apologize.”  And she looked to Mike and said in the same, gap-filled manner, “So, you were saying…?” 

I would love to go back to the store and ask her what her perceptions are regarding what happened.  I guess I’ll never know.

When we left the store Mike told me my discipline was not over.  He told me to go to my room when we got home as he would spank me one more time, administer a mouth soaping, and give me time in the corner to reflect with my triple clamps (nipples and clit) tightly fastened.

I have received an awful lot of soapings lately.  And yes, they all come with the “special rinse.”  I get that a soaping is very symbolic when the disobedience has something to do with what I say or don’t say, but I am beginning to dread them.  It seems like even up to a  day or two later I will occasionally get this phantom soap taste in my mouth.

I am taking these slip ups well.  I previously wrote that the thought of messing up was really disconcerting to me. I so much want to serve Mike in the ways in which I have agreed to serve him.   But the successes so far outweigh the failures that I’ve been okay with the handful of errors.  I don’t like them.  I’d prefer not to have them, but perfection is not realistic.  I am loving our new agreement and being so attuned to following and serving Mike.

Oh, and my weight loss is up to 4.5 pounds in three weeks.  Almost half a pound ahead of schedule.  Just 13.5 to go over 10 weeks.  I am stepping up the exercise but will need to do more as Thanksgiving is right around the corner!

NEXT:  194. Primal Scream!!
  

 

 

 

187. Happy Wife. Happy Life.

187

And this Happy Wife is happiest when she is serving her husband!

I am really loving my Homemaker Duties Schedule!  One of the best ideas Mike has ever had.  And thus far it has worked as he intended – it’s been a blessing, not a burden.  All my chores are broken into daily bite-sized pieces, complete with scheduled “down time” to relax.   Down time I often use for blogging, which is why I have posted so much lately.  

And the schedule is not so rigorous that I have to “Relax between 10 and 11 today.”  It is more like, “one hour of relaxing” that I fit in at some point in the day.   And Mike has been a stickler in following up with me.  He will call or text me and ask me if I’ve “done my down time” yet.  He wants to make sure I stay fulfilled, not burdened, with my duties.

And with this frequent blogging means more mundane day-to-day things to share.  That is, if you call serving your husband as a god and being disciplined for your misbehavior mundane.  Yeah, that type of mundane!   With that, here’s several updates to my “mundane” existence — 

WEIGHT
Here’s an update on my Quarterly Goals, which this quarter is to lose 18 pounds by January 17.  Just two weeks in and I am happy to report I’ve lost 3.3 pounds!  I am happy to be a little ahead of schedule as I imagine the first few pounds are easier to lose than the last few.

What is even more exciting is that I haven’t done anything too dramatic to make that happen.  So as it gets more difficult to shed the last few pounds I should be able to simply exercise more to make it happen.

I’ve cut about 250-300 calories out of my diet by doing some very simple things. I continue to only drink water.  I switched to egg whites when I want eggs.  I stopped eating muffins or pastries and just have a piece of toast instead.  I double up on my veggies.  No dessert.   Very limited snacking and always a healthy snack.  I read labels and always opt for the lower calorie, lower carb options.  And most of all, I always leave a little bit on my plate.  Just a bite or two, but I found it serves as a visual testament to my resolve.  Oh, and portion control!  Especially when eating out, which we don’t do a lot of anymore.

Added to the dietary changes is I walk 30 minutes almost every day.  I plan to up this to daily soon.  I also jump rope at least 20 minutes every other day and again, plan to up this to daily soon.   Jumping rope is fun with you don’t have heavy clamps on your nipples, hee-hee (Post 35. Calisthenics of Doom)  

TESTING MY WILL FOR GRACE
Hee hee, see what I did there… Will For Grace.. Will and Grace.   No?  Come on, I thought that was funny.  (FYI for you non-Americans.  This is a reference to a tv show).

I am having the hardest time with the “Gracefullness” part of our new Contract.  It is hard to change something that is just so automatic, such as how I walk or sit.  Mike has been understanding and is looking for “progress, not perfection,” at least for now.

I take my Duties and Obligations seriously, so guess what?  I enrolled in an “Etiquette Class.”  There is a company that has an adult program that, among other things, helps teach things like “attitude and body language.”  They also provide some one-on-one consulting.  The price wasn’t too bad and I hope it is worth it.   I signed up for their two classes and purchased two one-on-one consulting sessions.  I joked with Mike I was going to tell them I wanted to know the best way to present my ass when preparing for my husband to spank me.  Their reaction would be priceless!  I think I’ll refrain from doing this as I don’t want to risk being kicked out of etiquette class. 

FORGET ME NOT
While I haven’t been spanked for being “ungraceful”, I have been disciplined a few times since that first disciplining under the new contract.   I forgot about a doctor’s appointment.   This falls under my “Workload” clause in the Emotional Self Care section of our Contract.

I had scheduled is a long time ago, before I was as organized as I am today.  I forgot to put it on my calendar but luckily got a reminder from the doctor’s office the day before.  I do have a little bit of slack built into the schedule for unexpected things, but not enough to accommodate a doctor’s visit and this appointment should have been expected.  Mike spanked me (hard of course, as they all are), because I failed to meet certain commitments that day due to the doctor visit. 

DISCIPLINE FOR THE DISCIPLINE MANTRA
Making matters worse, when he spanked me, I fumbled the Discipline Mantra.  I hadn’t practiced it in a while.  In some ways it isn’t something I want to get familiar with saying, since it is something I say as part of our Discipline Ceremony.   But, I need to learn it.  I said it correctly the first time I was disciplined under the new Contract.  Mike is now requiring that I recite it as part of my two weekly Maintenance Sessions.  This will help me from getting “rusty” if I have long stretches of behaving.

This is from our Discipline Ceremony in our Contract.  I thought I’d share here since I referenced it above:  Mike, I am sorry for {specify Disobedience}, as that does not live up to the standards you expect of me and I deserve of myself.  Thank you for acknowledging my Disobedience and for Disciplining me so that I may properly reflect and learn to be more obedient to you.  I gladly accept and look forward to the Discipline you are about to give me. Please Discipline me now.”

I learned it is no fun to fumble the Discipline Mantra.  I am already being disciplined for whatever behavior prompted the discipline and then — boom — more gets added!  And Mike’s go-to disciplining measure when it involves something I say or fail to say includes a soaping and his “special” rinse and/or drink.   Maybe I should rethink not having pee as a hard limit?   Oh, it’s not as bad as it sounds (usually).  I think I am more disgusted with the thought of it than the actual act.  Moving on…

OUT GO THE LIGHTS
The other disciplining I received was for something a bit different.  I left some lights on.  This was something newly added to the “Finance” portion of my DD.  Basically I commit to not being wasteful by leaving lights on or other wasteful habits.

Mike came to me and said, “I walked in our bedroom and the light was on in the bedroom and the bathroom.  Is there a reason you left them on?”

I responded with, “I am sorry, Sir.” 

“Jen, I didn’t ask for an apology, I want to know if there is a reason it happened?”

I didn’t want to make excuses and I definitely over thought my answer.  “I just forgot to turn them off.  I am sorry, I will try to do better.” 

Mike then said in his “matter-of-fact-but-you’re-on-thin-ice” voice, “That’s the second time you haven’t answered my question.  I truly want to know if there is a reason.  Was the reason that you just forgot, or was there more to what you were doing that caused you to forget?”

“Yes, Sir, I had a basket full of laundry so I couldn’t turn them off immediately.  I planned to go back and do so but forgot, Sir.” 

“That’s perfectly understandable,” Mike added, “and if you would have answered my question the first time I would just have suggested that you put the basket down and turn off the light as you leave the room and left it at that.  But since you are trying to read into my question as if I don’t mean what I say, you need to go to room and I’ll be there in moment.”

Fortunately J and Kayla were playing something on the computer, far from our bedroom.  Mike came in I ended up being spanked, soaped (with rinse and drink), and had to write lines.

PERSPECTIVE
I accept my discipline without hesitation or question.  It is part of what I need and want for myself.  However, writing about it gives me a perspective that is a different from living in it.  When I write, I can sort of “hover” over what has happened, as a viewer, not just a participant.  And the viewer in me sometimes reacts different from the participant.

The viewer in me asks, “Jen, is this what you wanted way back when?  You wanted Mike to spank you, wash your mouth out with soap, have you drink his pee, all for the way you answered him for not turning out a light?”

And my answer remains the same.   “It doesn’t matter what I wanted then.  Being accountable to Mike and subject to his discipline is absolutely what I want now!”  I may not prefer certain punishments, but I prefer the Jen of today over the Jen of a few years ago.  I prefer my happiness of today, my fulfillment for today, and my rejoicing in today!

NEXT:  188.  The Cock Block (or is it Clam Jam?)


183. Spanking with F.O.C.U.S.

183
Did you know a good spanking can be better than coffee?   I’ll get back that.

Maybe Kayla will catch the blog bug!   I hope you enjoyed the post from Kayla.  I thanked her so much for doing that.  I know it isn’t “her thing” to want to write, but she did say she enjoyed it.  Okay, now, back to that. . . 

Well, I received my first disciplining under our new Contract. I surprised myself in that it took six days before I “misbehaved.”   Ha.  It still strikes me as funny to use that word.  Sorry if that is a normal word in your dynamic.  It will take me some time to get used to using words like “misbehave” or “disobeyed.” Heck, I remember when I didn’t want to call them spankings but wanted to call them “rewards.”  I’ll get there!   

I’ve really been doing well keeping my household schedule and keeping Mike informed.  And not just my new duties and obligations, I’ve been doing well with all my duties and obligations.  Sort of a continuation of the DD Sympatico I shared before.   But, eventually there is bound to be a slip up, and sure enough, it happened.

FUMBLING MANTRA
It was actually with the Mantra!  After many morning and evenings of getting it perfectly right, I had a bit of a mind-fart and flubbed the Morning Mantra.  I got to the last line which is supposed to be, “…through focusing on Mike’s desires…” and I said, “by being…um, by focusing…um, through being….Ug!”

These are the first words I speak each morning, so I was still in bed, barely awake, reciting this to Mike.   He got out of bed and asked me to stand up and then bend over with my elbows on the bed.  I waited as he went to find a paddle that suited him.  I was shaking my head, disappointed with myself.  Of all the things I have to do, this is the one that earns me my first spanking under our new contract? 

In less than a week my mantra’s have become very special and important to me.  I really love reciting them to Mike.  They were made even more important when Mike shared with me that he loves hearing me say them.  They are a perfect way to start and end our day.  I was heartbroken that I screwed it up.  Also, while I waited on Mike, I was wondering what he was going to, both verbally and physically.   This would be our first punishment with the new scolding guidelines and with Mike’s promise to ramp up the intensity of the discipline.

THE DISCIPLINE
Mike walked over holding one of the thicker wooden paddles that we have.  This particular one is fairly wide as well, so it covers a lot of surface area.  “Don’t stare at me, keep your eye’s down,” barked Mike.

He gave me about a dozen or so warm-ups by hand, then spanked me three times very hard in quick succession with the paddle.  

“Why are you being disciplined?” he asked as he spanked me one more time.

“Because I messed up the Mantra, Sir.”  

“Correct, and what part did you mess up,” and he struck me again.

I meekly replied, “Instead of saying ‘through focusing’ I said some other stuff.”  

“That’s right, you did,” and he spanked me one more time. 

“You know how important the Mantra is to me and to you and for us to start our days right.  Spanking you is not how I want to start the day.”   And he spanked me again, twice this time. 

“You need to stay focused when reciting the mantra, just as the line you messed up reminds you to stay focused on my desires.”  And he spanked me twice again.

“You weren’t focused on your mantra, so you weren’t focused on my desires, and that is why you are being spanked.”  He then spanked me three or four times.

I was crying by this time.  A lot!  I shared before, I fully expected I would be emotional for my first discipline under the new contract.  And it was compounded by the fact that the discipline was due to messing up the mantra. 

“What is the correct line?” and he spanked me again.

“through focusing on Mike’s desires, my only need and purpose.” 

“Correct,” and he spanked me again.

“Say the word ‘focus’ after each paddling,” he commanded.

Whack.  “Focus.”   Whack.  “Focus.”  Whack.  “Focus.”  Whack.  “Focus.”  Whack.  “Focus.”

“Now spell it out for me, one letter per spanking with a Sir on the end,” he added.

 Whack.  “F, Sir”.”   Whack.  “O, Sir”  Whack.  “C, Sir.”  Whack.  “U, Sir”  Whack.  “S, Sir.”

I was in a major full on cry and my body was shaking.  This was about 25 or so with the paddle, all very hard, and there was that intense mix of pain and shame that I just recently wrote about.

“I am going to give you a few more and then I want you to stay in that position until I tell you to get up.”   He then spanked me five or six times in quick succession.  It made me drop from my elbows and on to my side.  

“Back in position quickly or you will earn more.”  

I mustered the energy to quickly comply and I knew I would have to call Yellow if he were to continue.  He then went to the bathroom and I stayed bent over, on my elbows, bawling.  He emerged a few minutes later.  

He walked over to me and told me to stand up.  He then held me and we had our “Closing Ceremony” but with a caveat.   We were in a bit of a time crunch as he needed to get to work and I needed to clean myself up and get J up and ready for school.  He told me there was one more part of the discipline that I would have to do without him.  He asked Kayla to oversee it. 

Once I was back home from taking J to school I needed a “good mouth soaping” as he put it.  This was to remind me to be careful of the words coming from my mouth.  He said 15 minutes would do it.  He gave Kayla instructions to video the soaping so he could watch later as well as what exactly he expected regarding the soaping.  “A good lather….don’t forget to rub it on her tongue….I want to see teeth marks on the bar of soap.” 

Kayla complied, as did I.  Receiving the soaping discipline without Mike home was like a punishment by itself.  Even when it was over it didn’t feel over because there was no Closing Ceremony.  I so longed for Mike to be home so he could just hold me and tell me “All is forgiven.”  I felt very distracted all day, but was still able to get all my chores done.  On the upside, I was able to skip my morning coffee from the adrenaline and endorphin rush of the spanking and crying! 

Greeting Mike when he gets home is part of my duties and when he got home this time I jumped in his arms and hugged him so tight I almost knocked him over.  He joked, “Hey, personal foul. Roughing the Master of the House!”  I quipped in a sweet and seductive tone, “Well then, maybe you’ll just have to spank me again to calm me down.”  

He knew I was kidding.  Playful sarcasm is still part of our dynamic.  Truth is, my butt was still sore and bruised from that morning, so I am glad he took it in jest.  

NEXT: Post 184. This, That, and Sex, Sex, and more Sex

163. Domestic Discipline Antipatico?

163

I stated in my last post that I would share details of the punishment – or series of punishments in this case.  I am not a writer of erotica.  I’ve shared before that I prefer to write about my thoughts on my transformational journey versus sexually stimulating prose.  Sorry if my writing lacks any build up, climax, etc.  It’s not erotica, it’s just the facts.  I’ll share those facts here, and then “debrief” in my next post re my ruminations regarding this incident.

I want to mention that I was going to exclude some of these details, but Mike told me I must write about all aspects of this punishment.  You’ll soon read about an element of punishment I don’t like to share regarding urine.  I don’t know why that is since I share everything else and given that this is pretty anonymous, why should I feel the need to omit it?  In any event,  here you go. . .

PUNISHMENT DRIP
Picking up where I left off — About an hour later Mike came in after he finished dinner.  He told me that he and Kayla would attend to J the rest of the night and once J was asleep he would address “my situation.”  As that could be a several more hours, he said he would check in with me periodically and “adjust” how I would wait for him.  He told me he did not want to hear anything from me – I was to remain silent and simply comply.

He brought a 32 ounce cup of what he called “half and half.”  He said if I needed tea so badly, then I would have it, and to help me think of him as I drank it, he added a little something, that, let’s just say rhymes with tea.  Having to drink his urine was not a first for me, but it is something that I have rarely been subject to.  He had me quickly guzzle all 32 ounces.  He then put nipple suckers on me, pumping them tightly.  He put in a butt plug, had me sit in a chair, and then he cuffed my arms behind the chair.  Not intolerable, but uncomfortable to say the least.   Oh, and he put the bit gag back on me and left the room.

Another drip of punishment —  Sometime later he came back in.  I was a drooling mess and so happy to see him as I was at a high level of discomfort – my butt from not being able to shift much in my seat, from the long feeling of fullness from the plug, and my nipples had past the burning stage and were well into a numb throbbing stage where I could feel my heartbeat in my nipples.  

He removed the gag and the suckers and immediately applied clamps to my nipples.  That really burned!  The shot of pain brought tears to my eyes.  Not emotional, “oh what I have I done tears.”  Just plain old, “OMG that hurts,” tears.  I was going to call out my safe word but didn’t have to because based on my reaction Mike quickly removed the clamps.   Mike said, “I’ll think of something else.”

He uncuffed me, had me stand up, and he removed the butt plug.  He had me drink another large glass of tea with whatever pee he was able to add at the moment.  He then had me put my tack bra on.  He led me to the bathroom and told me to lay down on my stomach.  He then cuffed my hands behind my back, lathered up a bar of soap, and stuck it in my mouth.   He said if I needed to go to the bathroom I was to just go there where I lay and he left the room.   After the two large glasses of drink and not having gone to the bathroom for some time before this all began, I knew I wasn’t going to hold it for long.

Another drip —  Miraculously by the time Mike came in to “adjust” things, I still had not gone, but I had to pee something fierce.  He stood me up, removed the soap, let me rinse a bit, then had me drink yet more tea pee.  He then told me to get back down on the floor. He told me to pee, and as I desperately needed to do so, I didn’t hesitate to comply.  While the release felt good, it was very uncomfortable as I was basically laying in it as it pooled around me.   He then left again.

Yet another drip —  He returned fairly quickly, maybe 10 minutes, but it felt like forever.  He stood me up and uncuffed me, had me bend over and put my hands on the sink, and he paddled me countless times very hard on my butt as my torso and legs dripped with pee.  (J was taking a bath in our other bathroom and thus far removed from the sounds).   Mike must have spanked me about 30 or 40 times.  He then had me stand and he squeezed my breasts, pushing the tacks in more than they already were.  He then had me remove the bra, which required a bit of tugging as several of the tacks were deeply embedded. 

He told me to lay back down on the floor in the pool of pee, he cuffed my arms again behind my back and put a bar of soap in my mouth.  My breasts burned a bit as the pee on the floor came in contact with some of the scratches and small punctures on my breasts.  It was only a few minutes later that Kayla came in.  She told me I was not to speak and Mike had given her instructions to clean me up.  She removed the soap from my mouth, had me walk into the shower, and she rinsed me off.  She told me to stay there in the shower until Mike returned.  I stood there dripping wet, a bit cold, and ready to get this over with.

Mike had me bend over in the shower and he caned me about a dozen times, very hard.  He followed that up with about a dozen more with a hairbrush he pulled from the drawer.   He dried me off and led me to Kayla’s room.  He had my journal next to her bed.  He told me the punishment was not done.  I needed to journal and then I would sleep alone in Kayla’s room that night and the next two nights.  I would be spanked “very hard” each night before going to bed.  In addition, as a reminder that I’d rather be drinking water than piss, any time he needed to pee over those three days I would have drink it.

I could probably dedicated an entire post to my thoughts on piss drinking.  I don’t like it, and have given it strong consideration to adding it as  a “hard limit.”   I’ve resisted as I want to challenge myself before simply prohibiting it.  After this experience, I just may be added it to the hard limits list.  The taste of pee can range from tasteless, like water, to putrid.  More often than not it is on the tolerable side, but not always.  Anyway, not a topic that you probably want to know much about, so enough said.

So the next three nights were as Mike decreed.  On the morning of the fourth night we had an official “closing ceremony” regarding the punishment.   At my next Maintenance Session Mike asked me to talk about the incident, both what it was that I was feeling that led up to my “bratting” and about the punishment.

A quick aside — Mike knows I don’t like the term “bratting” as it sounds so immature and silly, but if the shoe fits!  I accept that indeed that was an accurate term as I knowingly and with forethought made the decision to disobey.

Anyway, I’ll share my reflections on the next post.  

164.  Reflecting on Behavior and Punishment

 

157. A Severe Punishment for Two

157

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared a punishment story, so as promised in my last post, here you go!

This one is about Kayla (well not entirely as you will find out).  I know as per Post 148, that Mike decreed that I was to no longer punish Kayla.  Well, that lasted about six weeks, but perhaps may last longer next time.   

THE TRANSGRESSION
Our son was visiting his cousins, Mike was out running errands, and Kayla and I were at Donna’s, just hanging out.  Donna was sharing some of the things that John does to help around the house, “just because he wants to”, and of course Kayla was quick to brag on Mike.  She proudly explained that Mike doesn’t have to do any chores, but he will occasionally empty the dishwasher or sweep the floor.  Kayla then added, “and I know when Mike empties the dishwasher because he has a bad habit of leaving every cupboard and drawer open.”

My jaw dropped.  You see, one of Kayla’s Acts of Service is to always talk complimentary of Mike to others – never criticize him in front of others.  Kayla’s excuse was, “It’s just Donna.”  I didn’t accept that.  This was not in keeping with a submissive mindset and is something she not only agreed to adhere to, but it was her idea to do so.  As such, she should know better and her flippant retort made it worse.   

I felt that Mike would want to immediately address this.  I sent him a short text and he called me.  I put Kayla on the phone and had her explain it.  That alone made her cry.   Mike then put me back on the phone.  I  asked him that if he felt this should be quickly dealt with that I was willing to handle it.  He paused and then said he didn’t want me to do anything if I felt it would “interfere with my peace.”  I told him it would not, so long as I knew this is what he wanted.  He then said yes, he wanted me to spank her a “sufficient” number of times and then Kayla should be “soaped” until he got home.  

JEN SPANKS KAYLA
I borrowed a paddle from Donna and spanked Kayla right there in front of Donna.  And to be honest, I spanked her really hard.  She was crying, as she is apt to do from a spanking.  She’s always been a crier, and while she doesn’t cry as much or as loudly as she used to, she was crying pretty good with this spanking.  I then sent her home and told her to start writing lines until I got there.  “I will always speak positively of Sir in front of others.”

JEN SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
I waited about twenty minutes and then left Donna’s and returned home.  I was shocked again to find her writing her lines but fully clothed.  It is a long established rule that we disrobe when we enter the house if there are no kids expected.  I guess I was on a roll as I had her disrobe and spanked her again.  Again, very hard, and again, she cried.

SOAPING
I led her to the bathroom, got the soap, and lathered up her tongue and mouth and then had her bite down on the bar and hold it in her mouth.  I told her to kneel in the corner and stay there until Mike got home.  

Mike came home about forty minutes later.  That’s a long time to hold soap in your mouth.  He talked to me about what happened and got an update.  He then waited.  He knew Kayla heard him come home, but he didn’t immediately attend to her.  He waiting another fifteen minutes, so in total, it was an hour in the corner with soap in her mouth. He told me to stay out of the room but to come in after fifteen minutes. 

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA
I didn’t witness it but Mike spanked her for almost all that fifteen minutes before I came into the room.  Kayla was sobbing and a drooling soapy mess as she still had the soap in her mouth as I walked in and Mike continued spanking her.  I assumed my spanking her would be it, but clearly, it was not.  I felt bad because I really spanked her hard and would have probably gone a little easier had I known Mike would spank her again.

Mike then told Kayla to finish writing lines until she got to 100.  As she sat down to write, Mike then turned to me and said, “We have another issue to address.”

MIKE SPANKS JEN
Mike said that he wasn’t happy that I spanked Kayla for not undressing when she entered the house.  He said I should have reported this to him first before taking any action.  He reminded me that since our
therapy sessionI’ve actually achieved the mindset I was looking for (as shared on my prior post as well as two posts ago.   Now I put that at risk by spanking Kayla without his permission.   

So he spanked me using a thin bamboo paddle.  He said it would be one spanking for each line Kayla had to write.  100!  He stopped at 90 and had Kayla administer the last 10. He told her that if the swats were not to his liking that she would be in for 100 more.  Kayla didn’t disappoint!  Ouch!  He then had Kayla give me a half-dozen swats on each palm with a ruler.  He told me perhaps I’d think of this the next time I feel compelled to raise a hand to Kayla’s ass without his permission.  He then had me stand in the corner until Kayla finished her lines.  

MIKE SPANKS KAYLA AGAIN
He wasn’t quite done with Kayla’s punishment.  As part of our writing lines punishments, we may have to write additional lines and/or get spankings for any mistakes or sloppiness in the lines we wrote.  Mike found a few lines that were not to his liking, and spanked Kayla again.   In all, the spankings she got over the prior two hours were probably the hardest spankings she had received in a long time, and there were a lot of them.  So we were in the same boat.  Very sore and red asses!  In fact, my redness was colored with several purples splotches.  

AFTER CARE
We then had a collective After Care with Mike.  He had Kayla apologize to me for behaving in such a way that required immediate action on my part.  And I apologized to her for spanking her without Mike’s permission.  And that was that, all was forgiven.

POST SCRIPT
So what did I feel about what happened?  Nothing out of the ordinary, just a sore bum!    That’s just the life of a submissive.  I feel Mike acted totally appropriately as clearly both Kayla and I misbehaved.   

Ha, I find it funny that I am okay using the word “behave.”  I would have previously written something like, “…both Kayla and I failed to adhere to our commitments.”    I would have felt “behave” was juvenile or demeaning in some way.   Not anymore.  It is an appropriate word because submission is all about my behaviors, so when I submit according to my commitment, I am behaving.   Simple as that.   I think my finding comfort in some of the vocabulary terms that I previously hated is another sign of my progression with a submissive mindset.    

Just another example of how words are power, which makes our upcoming contract renegotiation interesting – but that’s for another post.  

I marvel in reflection at how definitive our
closing ceremonyis regarding a punishment.  No matter how intense the punishment, how emotional either I or Kayla gets, or whatever the circumstances are, when it is over, it is over.  All is truly forgiven and no one dwells on it.  

That was evidenced by how Kayla reacted afterwards.  She looked at me a bit later and said with a wry smile, “Man, I won’t do that again.”  To which I replied as I hugged her, “That makes two of us.”  We never talked of it again as there is simply no need.    

NEXT:  158. Jen’s Simple Tips and my Golden Rule of Domestic Discipline

 

156. A Quiet Mind

156

In two months our Contract is up for renegotiation and will mark two and half years of Domestic Discipline.   As I start to think about the changes I want in the contract, it makes me reflect on my journey thus far.   I haven’t had a good esoteric ramble in a while.  Not sure this will qualify, but here it goes. 

MY MIND IS QUIET
I haven’t posted much lately (although, hey, this makes three in two days!).  While true it was due in part to our summer household schedule, I believe a lot of it also has to do with the fact my mind is quiet.  I read through my prior posts and at times I can see where I was struggling to reconcile my need for submission with the way I was raised.  As I made breakthroughs towards that reconciliation, I posted.  As I did something that surprised me, I posted.  As I learned something about myself, I posted.  As I became more and more confident in my submission, I posted.  

Now, I feel reconciled.  As I shared in Post 154, I feel triumphant.

It seems that it just suddenly happened.  Less than two months ago I felt I was struggling, and now, nothing.  No struggle.  It’s easy.  I could say it was like a switch went off, but really it is more like how you fall a tree.  We credit the last swing and suddenly it falls, but the last swing was no more important than the first.  Each post was like a swing, and now here I am, elated and content with my level of submission to my husband.  

I also recognize something in my older posts – insecurity.  I was insecure, unsure of myself, uncertain I could fully realize my hopes in my role and purpose in my family.  That insecurity was due in part to having some unrealistic expectations of this unattainable Utopian ideal in my head.  When I finally shed myself of the expectation of perfection in submissiveness, I suddenly found the perfect level of submission for me.  

CONTENTMENT AND CONFIDENCE
Not to say this is some final destination.  Needs can ebb and flow.  Mike’s needs, my families needs, and my needs, are not a constant.  Learning and evolving in life never ends.  I now face that learning with a level of combined contentment and confidence that I’ve never had before
.

I am not stating that I am a perfect submissive.  I do make mistakes and I do get spanked.  It’s not about achieving a level of perfection.  It’s about achieving a level of contentment and confidence.  A mistake is not a failure, it is just an acknowledgement that I can always serve Mike better and with even greater consistency.  It’s like when you trip over something.  You don’t give up walking.  You just get up and get back at it.  

As I read through my older posts, and read blogs from those who are new to DD, I think about what words of wisdom I would want to share with my past self and the current newbies.   I think it is simply that you have to find your own way.  This is such a wonderful but strange and complicated dynamic that there is no secret formula.  But my formula was simply not to be afraid to make myself completely vulnerable to Mike, both emotionally and physically.  And above all, communicate, communicate, communicate.  And communicate isn’t just talking, it is listening.  And communicating is not just exchanging dialogue.  It is exchanging emotions, desires, and fears — that required vulnerability from both me and Mike.   

I’ve been fortunate to have a great partner in Mike.  He deserves more credit than I could possibly articulate, so I won’t even attempt it.  It would fall short of properly conveying all that he has done and what he means to me.  

So now I have to start thinking about what a new Contract should look like.  I still like the idea of a written contract as it serves as our testament to what DD means to us and what we mean to each other.   We could simply renew the old one, but that would fail to recognize the many changes in our dynamic and would be the easy way out.  No, we need to codify our progress, our continued hopes and desires, and maintain some guard rails towards the road ahead.  A road filled with even more discovery and adventure.  This time the traveler on that road is no longer yearning for discovery and adventure.  Instead, she is just enjoying it as it comes and appreciating every bit of it.     

WHERE’S THE SPANK?
Okay, enough of this fluff.  You want a severe spanking story?  Perhaps read about a good mouth soaping incident?  Or exactly what has Mike been doing with the enema kit?   And what’s up with John and Donna?   You know you want to read about it!   Maybe next time you pervs!    

NEXT: 157. A SEVERE PUNISHMENT FOR TWO

133. Intense Punishment

133
Laying in bed the other day, sore nipples and butt, with a lingering soapy taste in my mouth, I had the “WAID” thought.  The thought of “What Am I Doing?”   I’ve had this thought a few times.   I believe occasional doubt is healthy.  Doubt is simply a lack of knowledge.   Often this is momentary, and the knowledge can be found in a short conversation with yourself.  Other times it may take a bit more than a moment of reflection, but for me, any doubts about DD have always been self affirming regarding my choice to live this lifestyle.   My doubts have always led to a deeper appreciation for what DD has done for me and my family.   WAID never lasts more than a few minutes, and it was no different this time.

The punishments I was reflecting on were from that day and the day before.  Part of myRewardsfor what my actions that I shared in the prior post.

I’ve shared a couple of the more severe punishments I’ve received, and there haven’t been many.  Although I didn’t use my safe word, this punishment topped any I had before, even the one I shared in 24. Intense Spanking , although I didn’t er had to use a safe word this time.  As our son J is home, the punishments were done throughout the day while he was at school or in the evening after he was asleep.

As I think about it, this one wasn’t the worst in terms of pain.  It was the worst in terms of overall discomfort.  In some ways, lingering discomfort or anticipation of what is to come is worst than a moment of acute pain.

I am not that good at sharing punishment stories.  It isn’t my “thing.”  I’d much rather be waxing philosophical about events in my life than sharing the specific details.  Mike says it is because just stating what happens in my life is a very vulnerable thing to do, as it leaves more to interpretation of the reader, and those interpretations may be unfavorable.  A very interesting comment that I want to explore further, but I’ll wait to ponder that one for another post.  So with that ,here’s the punishment I received.

Mike started me off with a mouth soaping, figuring it was appropriate for me opening my mouth and sharing what I shared with my friends.  For a soaping, I open my mouth and stick out my tongue.  Mike rubs an already wet and lathered bar of soap all over my tongue.  I then open wide and he rubs it all around the roof of my mouth, cheeks, and scrapes it across my teeth.  He then has me bite down on the bar to hold it in place in my mouth.

He then used a lot of our new implements from our recent Joy Box additions.   With soap in my mouth, he used our new cupping system on my breasts.  He applied some oil to my breasts, attached some small nipple clamps to my nipples, then applied the cups.  They provide a lot of suction on the breasts.  In the short run you don’t really feel much, but it gets increasingly uncomfortable overtime.  More blood rushes to the breast and they get a pinkish-purple like hue.  He then had me stand in the corner with my hands clasped behind my head.  I was then spanked as I stood there, first by hand, then with various paddles and straps.  Mike inserted a butt plug in me and left me in the corner for an hour.  By far the worst part was holding the soap in my mouth and standing in one place.  By the end of the hour I was a drooling mess and my jaw was sore.

He then walked me to the shower and using the hand nozzle he sprayed me down with cold water to clear the suds and drool from my face, chest, stomach, and legs.   He pulled the cups off my breasts and replaced the small nipple clamps with another pair that are far more intense and he adjusted them to be extremely tight.  He had me lay down on my stomach on the bathroom floor and got out the new cleansing system he ordered.  This was my first enema.

I anticipated it would be uncomfortable, but I didn’t anticipate the degree of the pressure and cramping.  Mike made me hold it in for five minutes, but it felt like much more.  He spanked me a few more times and then allowed me to get on the pot and get it out.   After I was done, he repeated the enema and spanking.  Then he did a third enema and had me hold it in for even longer before expelling.  He then finally removed the nipple clamps, but the respite for my nipples was short.

Mike got our nipple suckers, applied them to my nipples and pumped, and pumped some more.  He pumped more than I thought they could even be pumped.  I’ve never seen my nipples get so big.  He returned to me to the corner where I stood again with hands clasped behind my head.  Mike told me I was not to leave the corner for any reason else more punishment.  Well, I soon learned that the effects of an enema can last awhile and it wasn’t long before I just had to use the toilet.  I was clenching and holding as long as I could, and just about the time I was ready to give in and leave the corner (I wasn’t about to make a mess of things. I’ll take the added punishment), Mike entered the room.   I didn’t say anything as I am not to speak unless spoken to, but luckily Mike asked me how I was doing.  I told him I needed to go and thankfully he let me.

When I was done he removed the suckers and ran the pinwheel hard over my very large nipples for what seemed like a long time, but probably wasn’t. He then went back to the put the cups and applied them to my breasts.   Mike decided to break in another new toy, the anal beads.  I’ve never used anal beads before.  It is one of those progressive sets, and he put all but the last one inside me.  Thankfully even the largest one isn’t crazy big.  Big enough for sure and I was glad he didn’t insert that one, but this set of beads is what I would call an intermediate set.  Whatever you call it, it still call it uncomfortable to have them in for an extended time.  He then had me stand in the corner again and he left, returning in about 45 minutes.

He removed the cups and again added the suckers.  He ordered me on all fours and he played awhile with the beads, pulling them out, inserting them, pulling out, inserting. He took my hand and helped me to my feet and walked me over to a chair.  He sat down, put me over his knee, and spanked me by hand for what seemed like forever – had to be over 100 of various intensities.

He then did another enema and this time when he took the tube out, I was surprised as I immediately felt a butt plug being inserted.  Mike grabbed the bar of soap and administered another mouth soaping.  I was then walked over to the shower.  He told me to stand in the shower with my hands clasped behind my head, bar of soap in my mouth, with a rectum full of warm water.  Mike told me not to leave the tub and he would be back “at some point.”   He came in a few times to check on me and each time he didn’t say a word and then left.  At some point I just couldn’t hold it any longer.  I pushed the plug and water out.  At least after several enemas it was basically just water.

Once I expelled the water, my mind became more aware of my painful nipples. They were burning.   I was so uncomfortable that I started to cry.   Not from any specific pain, but just because I felt miserable, both emotionally and physically.   Expelled water from my ass, terrible soap in my mouth and soapy drool all down my body, nipples on fire, a sore bottom from the spankings, a bit crampy from the enemas, and a sore sphincter from all the clenching.

Mike returned and said, “I’ll be right back.”  He left and returned very shortly with Kayla.  He told Kayla to remove the suckers, clean me up, and dry me off.   He watched as she showered and then dried me off.  “Almost done,” he said.

With Kayla there, he had me state what I did to earn this “reward.”  He then gave a lecture.  He does this sometimes, usually near the end of a punishment.  It’s his way of recapping the events that brought on the punishment, making sure they remained top of mind.  He then told Kayla to get the prison strap and the cane.  He walked me over to the bed and  had me lay down on my stomach.   He then took the strap from Kayla and struck me, then handed it back to Kayla and took the cane and struck me, and then alternated back and forth for I think just five strikes with each item.  It wasn’t many, but they were very hard and were more than enough.  I cried, which again is uncommon for me, but it happens.

We then had ourclosing ceremonycomplete with aftercare, with one caveat.  Mike said we would repeat our entire morning again tomorrow PLUS that night and the next I would spend thirty minutes in the corner with the clamps on, followed by a spanking before bedtime.  Only then would the punishment be fully over.  As bad as the punishment itself was, the anticipation of knowing it would be repeated was just as bad.  Anticipation of a punishment, especially one this long and intense, is a punishment itself.

And when it was all finally over, it was truly over.  What I did was fully behind us, like always.  No lingering resentments.  All is forgiven.  Oh, and Mike added, “You know, if you just would have asked me beforehand, I am pretty sure I would have been fine with you telling your friends whatever you felt comfortable sharing with them.”

NEXT:  Post 134. Vulnerable to my readers / 1yr blogiversary