Tag Archives: motivation

272. The end? Doubtful. . .


Yeah, I know, I have been lazy when it comes to posting lately.   Uninspired is probably a better word.  Sure, there is the hustle and bustle of summer which always impacts some of my “me” time, but honestly, I just haven’t felt motivated to post.

The good news is today was the start of school – J’s senior year in high school!   However, that increase in “me” time may no translate into more posts.  Here’s why. 

I was excited to 
share my path to DD when I first started blogging.  Once shared, my writing then helped me reflect and reconcile various thoughts racing through my mind.   And I needed an outlet for sharing my amazing journey.  Our openness to explore DD led us to experiences that I never could have imagined, both sexual and otherwise.  Blogging has become a self-affirmation exercise and it feels good.  It is liberating and fulfilling to “shout” out important parts of who I am, the choices I make, and the things I enjoy.   This is especially important when much of my life is outside cultural norms.  

I think this was part of what motivated my “Whore” post.  I wanted to own that word, wear it as a badge of honor to take the power away from those who may want to hurl it at me.  

I now realize that to some extent, my self-affirmations have been part of my coming to terms with my need for submission.  I’ve known from the start that I needed DD – I thrive in it, I enjoy it, I am fulfilled by it.   But admitting that wasn’t always easy.  In some ways being submissive was a threat to my own concepts of myself, concepts I was raised with regarding women empowerment.   I responded to this threat by promoting the values of being submissive – in other words, I was promoting my own sense of self.

I felt this threat when I first adopted DD.  Then, I felt it as our relationship with John and Donna progressed and our sexual adventures progressed.  I felt it again when Kayla entered our household, and I felt it again as “My DD” evolved into a “DD for me.”

Blogging has been a self-affirming way to address those threats.   And now?    I love where I am as a wife, mother, lover, friend, person.  I remain passionate about where I am at and for what it requires to maintain it – submission.   I am not threatened by where I am.  I rejoice in having arrived here!  

It’s only been about a year since “my’ DD began evolving from being Domestic Discipline that is 
MINE to Domestic Discipline that is FOR ME (Post 167).  That evolution was fueled by our last Agreement.  And a revelation I had over our recent Immersion is that this evolution is now complete.   

While this gives me a tremendous sense of accomplishment and peace, it has sort of left me with this “meh” feeling about writing.   It’s as if my writing was driving me towards something – a completely unknown destination.  The more I wrote,  the closer I knew I was getting somewhere.   It was a destination I couldn’t describe or see, but one that I would simply recognize when I got there.   I feel I am there now.  Our 2018 Immersion made me realize that.   

Similar to how my DD got started, I believe my blog has been a selfish exercise.  I write for me.  I will continue to do so, but probably less regularly.  Maybe something will occur here and there that fills me with that same wonder and amazement that compelled my early desires to write.  Or something sparks that need to “shout it” to you all, as a self affirming declaration to readers.   
My passion for being submissive has not diminished, but it has evolved.  Day-to-day I am so immensely content and secure in my choices (i.e. not threatened) that I don’t have the same drive or need for affirmation. 

HOWEVER. . .  you should know by now that I am quick to embrace a thought or desire and turn it into an actual pursuit.   Thus, I suspect it won’t be long before I need to share my excitement about such pursuits.  That sharing will be complete with what happened, reflecting on it, reconciling it, and affirming my feelings about it.   Yep, I anticipate there will be plenty to write about, but perhaps at slower pace?  Maybe not?

For instance, I still owe you insight into Immersion 2018!

Next post (coming soon), I promise!

Next:  Immersion 2018

100. Post #100 – Thank you readers and followers

I’ve been slacking with my blog – ten days since I last posted.   Part due to not having much going on that I find interesting.  My life as a submissive and of domestic discipline is so integrated in who I am and what I want and expect from life that the events of submission and DD are becoming uneventful to me.

Things have also been a little tame lately – lots of people coming and going, visiting for the holidays, kids out of school, etc.   But with Kayla moving in next week, it won’t be long until I have something interesting and sizzling for you. There are a few stories I could share about the last ten days — Kayla has been spending a lot of time (and some nights) with us.   That will be for another post.

At my one-hundredth post I am no longer surprised by my thoughts, desires, and actions. It was that surprise, that wonder, and that amazement which propelled me to blog. When I first started I couldn’t wait to share the details of my journey to DD. I couldn’t stop writing and when I was done I had my first 12 posts written at one time, taking you through my epiphany to give DD a try, introducing the idea to my husband, and writing the contract and my first year in DD.

As self-aggrandizing as it sounds, I was in awe of myself – of the choices I had made, and of the journey I was on. I don’t think I can fully convey just how “normal” and vanilla my life was prior to DD. With those feelings of awe and inspiration behind me, I now seek a new motivation to share.

I recognize my lifestyle is looked at by many as a combination of being salacious and appalling. Others may find it curious yet abhorrent, and some find it reaffirming and inspirational.   Whatever your reason for reading, my new motivation for writing is simply to share.

While not as intense as the thrill I get when people watch me have sex or masturbate, I do get a similar thrill in sharing my thoughts and experiences with you.  That “thrill” is my current motivation.

I know my lifestyle is not for everyone. I would neither encourage nor discourage anyone from exploring in the things that I have explored in. However, I do encourage people to experiment in life – try new things and new experiences – whether it be in the type of people you interact with, the people you talk to, the foods you eat, the places you go, or yes, the sex you have. Life is too short and whatever reality is for you, just know there is a wider reality out there. Don’t just be an observer in life or confine yourself to the tunnel vision of tradition. Dive in and live life.

For the rest of this post I thought it would be interesting to share some WordPress stats. Yawn! I know, not sexy at all, and perhaps completely uninteresting, but Post #100 seemed like a good time to share some insights into what you all think of me, vis-à-vis these stats, and to say thank you and acknowledge a few of you for engaging/supporting me with your comments and links.

My first one, Loveasmuchasyoubreathe.   My most recent one Kait King

45,369 Total Views
8,798 Visitors 
My first post was 4/23/16.   December will likely be my top month for views, surpassing November’s 7,766 as I am at 7,400 for December as of this writing. Vistor-wise November was tops with 1,446.
I don’t know if it is typical to average over 5 views per visitor (this month it is 6.6). I would think that indicates when people read one post that they are likely to read many more. If that is correct, it would indicate to me that people enjoy what they read and are curious to read more. I’ll take that as the reason and say “Yea and thank you!”

Top pages by Views
#1:  1,067 for 25. Intense Spanking Part II – I guess people like spanking stories!
#2:  844 for 20. Putting on a show.    I like being watched and like the fact you liked it too!
#3:  794 for 12. Our DD Contract – Yea! I am proud of my contract and am glad people find it interesting.
#4:  628 for 24. Intense Spanking Part I – I guess over 400 who read Part II didn’t feel compelled to read Part I?
#5:  500 for the About page.

Views by Country
33,000+ for the US.  Canada second at 3,700.  UK at 3,100, and  Germany and Australia at 700.  Poland edging out Denmark, 530 to 513.
This is so interesting to me. I can only imagine how odd my life and musing must be to some cultures. All cultures have their own kinks, and perhaps for some of you my lifestyle isn’t even that kinky based on your cultural norms (if so, tell me where you are so I can visit, hee-hee).

My Top 5 Commenters
lurvspanking is tops!  Follow by C for Now,  JA (no link),  Twinkle and Star, and jadescastle.
Thanks y’all! (yes, I am Texan and we say y’all).  I love comments!

Top Referrers
I am honored that these sites have links to my blog!
Bottomsmarts is by far the #1 site that people click from to reach my blog.
Ronniesoul is next, then lurvspanking.   Thanks for your support!
Check out their blogs.  I am certain you’ll enjoy them.

So, that wraps up #100. I promise I’ll share something a bit spicy in my next post. No, not a recipe, unless sex and submission are on the menu!

NEXT: 101-Compersion with a side of Submission and Spanking