Tag Archives: masturbate

198. Sex with Mike, I mean, with Matt

198

Ok, so those in this picture are way younger than we are, but hey, it’s a nice pic.

I wrote in my last post of Mike’s “request” that I have sex with his friend Matt.  I said “yes” without hesitation.  For starters, I have already agreed to perform any sexual act on anyone that Mike requests.  In addition, I love performing sexually for him, as well as for anyone as I have an exhibitionist side.  And it helps that Matt is attractive, and single.  As I stated before, the one caveat to my sexploration is that it never involve someone in a relationship unless their partner or spouse is away and condones such activities. 

Mike and I had our date night and went out for a nice dinner.  As planned we stopped by Matt’s to see his new place and for a night cap.  As we pulled up and before I got out of the car, Mike told me to take my panties off, and of course I complied. 

We went in and Mike and I were sitting on his couch, with Matt sitting in a nearby chair.  We were making small talk, asking him what “single” life felt like after twenty-something years of marriage.  I asked Matt if he was dating and he said no, not yet.  He said he hadn’t really been trying but only now feels ready to give it a shot.  Mike then made some comment like, “So, I guess you haven’t had sex in some time then.  That must be something new to get used to, right?” 

Matt just laughed and said something like, “Yeah, I guess so.”  

Mike then said, “Well, we have something somewhat new in our relationship.”  Mike went on to explain to journey into Domestic Discipline and our Dominant/submissive lifestyle.  Matt didn’t say much.  He was just wide-eyed and said, “Wow, really?” or, “Our you serious?” quiet a bit. 

 Mike then said, “In fact, I told her to take her panties off in the car just before we came in.  Honey, stand up and life up your skirt to show him.”

I immediately stood up and did as Mike told me.  Mike said, “So Matt, I guess that’s the first pussy you’ve seen in awhile, isn’t it?”

Matt had this half-laugh and shook his head from side to side and said, “I don’t know what to make of this, but, yeah, it’s been awhile.”  

Mike then told me to remove my skirt.  Mike stood up and walked over to another chair and sat down.  He told me to lay on the couch. 

“You know Matt, Jenny likes people to watch her masturbate.  Are you interested?”  To which he responded, “Um, sure Mike, if that’s okay with you two.”

It has been awhile since I did anything sexual in front of someone for the first time.  (Post 20  and Post 139).  Mike walked over to me and unbottoned my top and I sat up just enough so he could take it off.  He pushed my bra up and exposed by tits and then he sat back down.  

I continued to finger myself and play with my tits.  I removed my bra after asking Mike for permission to do so.  I was looking intently back and forth at Mike and Matt.  I love to make eye contact with whomever is watching me.  Mike had smile, and Matt’s look was priceless.  His eyes were as big as saucers and he had his bottom lipped curled under his top lip and he was slightly moving his head up and down as if to say, “yes, i really like this.”

“Would you like to fuck her?” Mike asked Matt.  

“Uh, what?  Like, right now?  Right here?” Matt stammered. 

“Sure,” Mike said nonchalantly,  “Right her, right  now.”

Matt was hesitant and asked Mike, “Do you have to watch?” 

I just kept masturbating as the two of them had a conversation about the logistics of Matt having sex with me.  Matt wanted reassurance from Mike that he was cool with it and that I was cool with it.  At one point Mike even asked me if I was okay with it to which I replied, “Absolutely.”   Matt’s last hangup was having it there with Mike watching, so Mike told him to go ahead and take me to his bedroom if that made him more comfortable.   It did, so Mike told me to follow Matt to his room. 

I was a little disappointing that Mike wasn’t going to be watching.   That’s part of the thrill.  Also, I was hoping Mike would join in at some point, but now that didn’t seem likely.  Oh well, can’t always have everything you want! 

Mike tossed me a condom as I followed Matt to his room.  When we got there he closed the door and again asked me if I was okay with this.  I told him not only was I okay but he could do me any way he wanted but I wanted to leave the door opened.  I said, “At least let Mike hear what’s going on.”  Matt complied and opened the door.

I kissed Matt as he and i both started unzipping and removing his pants.  I dropped my knees and pulled his underwear down and there it was!  Matt has a big penis.  I immediately began sucking him and he quickly grew fully erect.  I had never had a penis this size in my mouth (I later confirmed with Matt that it was 8.4 inches).  I know that isn’t like gargantuan porn-star huge, but  still, a personal record for me!   

For a moment I wondered if the condom would fit, but it did.  And once affixed I got on the bed and laid down on my back and he got on top of me and started fucking me.  I was a bit distracted as I was concentrating on the feeling I was getting, trying to determine if his big cock actually felt different.  It felt good, very good, but it didn’t really feel different.  I kept focusing on what I was feeling hoping to discern some different sensation.  I guess after all these years of fucking my vagina is loose enough to accept whatever sized dick without feeling any different.  Ha. 

I finally gave up trying to identify any different feelings and got back into just enjoying the sex.  At some point he flipped me around and entered me doggy style.  He then came, but I still had a ways to go.  He fingered me for awhile.  I asked him if Mike could join us.  He said he’d rather “finish me off” on his own.   Okay, who am I to complain about that? 

He went down on me and I orgasmed about five minutes later.  We laid there for awhile, and eventually he said, “Now what?” 

I said, “I dunno, I have never done this.”  I clarified that I have had sex with other people with Mike’s consent, but I never had it like this, in another room, with Mike waiting.  I told him if he was up for another round that I could call Mike in and they both could have me.  Matt said maybe later and let’s take this one step at a time.   I felt like saying, “Well, what we just did was a mega giant step, so what’s the big deal?”  But I kept myself from saying it as that would be rude and I realized Matt was still in a bit of shock over this. 

I reassured him this was all very okay and more than just okay, is something I enjoyed tremendously.  He got dressed and we walked out of the room together.  I was still naked as my clothes were still back in the living room.  I surprised Matt when I grabbed his hand and told him I wanted I wanted to hold his hand as we walked back to the living room. 

Mike said, “I assume you both enjoyed yourselves?”   I replied with a “Yes, Sir,” while Matt sheepishly said, “Yeah, you can say that again.”   

Matt sat down and Mike instructed me to kneel next to Matt.  Mike asked Matt what he thought about all this and Matt admitted he wasn’t sure what to think as he still isn’t sure what just happened.   Mike laughed and said, “Sex with my wife just happened.” 

Mike went on to reassure Matt that this was all okay, and that if Matt was okay with it, he could do it again sometime, even that night.  Mike told him that I really enjoyed two men at once so if he could join them next time it would be all the more pleasurable to me.  Matt said, “I’ve never done that, but sure, we could do that.”    

Mike said, “Why not now?”  Matt laughingly said, “No, I need more time to recoil.  And frankly, I am still in a bit of shock.  Let’s just relax a bit and see how it goes.”   

Mike agreed and the conversation slowly turned to just mundane talk of what other mutual friends are up to, current events, and stuff like that.   At some point Mike again asked Matt if he all three of us should go to his bedroom.  Matt said that we should just save that for next time to which Mike responded, “Look, watching Jenny masturbate and hearing you all in the bedroom has me horny, so if you aren’t ready to go again Matt, I sure am.  Jen, hon, come suck my dick.” 

I got up and went over to where Mike was sitting.  I pulled his pants and underwear down, and sucked him where he sat.  I kept at it until he came in my mouth.   He stood up, pulled up his pants, and said, “Thank you Jen, now get dressed as it is about time to go.”     

We stayed about another thirty minutes talking.  I wasn’t sure what Matt was making of all of this and whether he was really comfortable with everything that transpired.  But he made that clear as we were leaving as he said, “So, are you all free tomorrow night?”

Unfortunately we weren’t, but Mike added, “Matt, you are free to come by our house any evening.  Just let me know what works for you. Oh, and by the way, what are you doing Sunday.  Want to come to my buddies house and watch football?”    Oh my, now there will be Mike, John, and Matt watching the game.  Matt is in for one hell of a halftime!  

So what do I think of all of this?  Well, I share those ruminations on my next post (as well as what happened today during football).   Suffice to say, I really enjoy my sex life!!! 

NEXT: 199.  An Open Marriage!?

 

 

 

190. Web Cam Virgin

190

I wouldn’t blame Kayla for saying “Enough already!”  But, she loves talking about it as much as we do.  Yes, Kayla, Mike,and I talk a lot about her budding relationship with Michaud.

WHAT IF?
While it seems Michaud is good with a “let’s deal with it when it happens” mindset, Kayla wants to be prepared.  She appreciates our help talking through how she might handle the potential pitfalls.  We’ve probably gone through a hundred “What if’s…?”   Not that playing “what if” is perfect. It’s hard to really know what you feel when something is abstract and you’re thinking, “that will never happen.”  But it is still a nice bonding experience because you can talk about difficult scenarios while in a calm and loving state of mind.  Of course, when it’s “real” you have to deal with judgement that may be blurred or influenced by high emotions.  While imperfect conjecture, we found it helping talking through “what if’s?” 

We’ve only experienced Michaud through Kayla’s eyes.  We haven’t met him, but thus far he sounds like a good fit for her.  We have purposely avoided meeting him right now.  We think it is best to let Kayla and Michaud create the foundation of their relationship on their own. Mike and I are going to be a big enough presence anyway, so we are sensitive to trying to give them their own space to carve out.  We figure making him meet us or having him hang out with us would just make it harder for their relationship to solidify.

Kayla said he is laid back, easy-going, non-judgmental, with a dry and somewhat sarcastic sense of humor.  He doesn’t seem to sweat the small stuff.  She describes him as having beautiful dreamy eyes, thick eyelashes that say “come to me” when he blinks. We’ve seen pictures and he is good looking.

CAM PLAN
I asked Kayla about the logistics of cam’ing.  (Mike gave permission for her to have cam sex with Michaud, Post 188. The Cock Block…).  I get the getting naked and playing with yourself, but, how do you start?  Kayla said she never done it.  She’s done some nude pics before, and showed her breasts on face time, but never did video sex with anyone. She’s a cam-virgin!  She said she would probably just say, “So, wanna see me naked?”  She will do a strip tease for him, and once naked, ask him to undress.  From there, yeah, just show off the bod and masturbate for each other.”  Of course, I don’t know why I was over thinking it. 

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION
Mike and I could hear her in her room while she cam’d with Michaud.  We were tempted to peak but we resisted.  He could hear muffled sounds of their voices when they talked, and could clearly discern the sound of her orgasm.  Eventually they said goodbye and signed off. 

Kayla came to our room and Mike and I were in bed, but awake.  We asked her how it went and she said, “Great.”  My response was, “And?”  To which she replied, “And I enjoyed it.”  Again I questioned, “And?”   She gave another coy response of “And I think he enjoyed it too?”

Then she burst out giggling like a school girl and said, “and he has a nice cock!”  “And he is uncircumcised.”  Kayla had never seen an uncircumcised penis, at least not live (or in this case, live on camera).  Neither have I!  “So how big?” I had to know.  Maybe a little bigger than Mike, but a little skinnier.  Kind of like John’s, but maybe a little smaller, so yeah, like in-between Mike and John.”

BUSHY BUSH
“And,” she added, “he was very manscaped.  Not completely shaved, but a very close trim. I told him it looked great.”  And she said Michaud commented on her bush, which, wasn’t trimmed at all.  Neither Kayla or I haven’t trimmed or shaved our pubic hair since our Immersion, about four months ago.  Mike told us to grow it out.  No particular reason other than he wanted to “change up the view.”   Kayla said she has never had this much hair down their.  She said she has been trimming or shaving since she first started growing pubes.  I think that’s pretty typical for millennials.

Anyway, she said Michaud immediately reacted with a “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that?”  He wasn’t complaining, just surprised.  Just as Kayla has never had a boyfriend with an uncircumsized penis, he had never had a girlfriend with a full bush.  And I use the term “full” a bit loosely.  Kayla’s not that hairy of a person, and it looks just “normal,” not wild and crazy full.

MIKE MADE ME DO IT
In keeping with Mike’s instructions, Kayla told Michaud that she grew it out because Mike commanded it.  I previously shared that Mike told Kayla that if there any actions of hers that she did that were due to his demands, she must admit this to Michaud and not hide it or sugar coat it by making it seem like it was her choice or preference.   I was very impressed that Kayla remembered this. 

It was clearly an awkward moment to have to say something like that.  Kayla said it did cause a temporary “buzz kill” to the mood.  They spent some time talking about it.  She was naked, they were talking about her bush, and he was still clothed, and they are talking about Mike’s requirements of her.  Awkward probably doesn’t come close.  But they got through it.

Michaud said, “Damn, is there anything about you that Mike doesn’t control?”  To which Kayla said, “Michaud, I can hear from your tone that this bothers you. Thank you for saying something as I want to explain and help you get comfortable with this because you will likely hear it a lot.  It is who I am and I know it is a difficult thing to ask of you, but for us to work I need all parts of me to be appreciated, even the parts you may not be part of.  She went on to restate things she has told him before about her need to be Mike’s submissive.  And they talked about it for about ten minutes.

This reminds me of an analogy I used to explain the conclusion I made about my sister’s questions about my dynamic.  It would be easy for me to get frustrated explaining the same thing over and over to my sisters.  Then I realized that in many ways, getting comfortable with my kink is a lot like learning a new language.  You need repetition to understand it better.  This helped me maintain my patience in answering their questions, which were (and still are) often repetitive.  Sharing this analogy with Kayla helped her be prepared for Michaud’s repeat questions.  The last thing you want is the questioner,who is already a bit frustrated, to be answered by someone who is equally annoyed.  

She gave Michaud another way to think of Mike.  She said, “Think of Mike a bit like my psychologist or some specialty doctor.”  If she was seeing a specialist that was uniquely able to help her with something that Michaud could not, that isn’t a short coming for Michaud.  His role in her life is still cherished and valued – but in ways that are different from Mike and from me and again, it reflects her “special” needs and not anything that is wrong with Michaud. 

It obviously wasn’t that much of a buzzkill as they eventually go back to “business.”  I am sure that won’t be the last time she needs to reassure him.  And maybe soon it will be during cam sex, minus the cam!   

Next:  191. Spanking, sex, and a question

 

  

184. This, That, and Sex, Sex, and more Sex

184

Several different topics I thought I’d update you on.

DISCIPLINE – JEN
I’ve been disciplined a few times recently (other than what I shared), but not worth writing about in detail.  Sorry.  I don’t intend to share every disciplinary action.   But I did want to share a few things in general that I felt were noteworthy.

Mike said he was going to pick up the intensity and he has delivered.  Ouch!   In hindsight I think he was right in that the level of discomfort I was getting might have been insufficient for them to serve as a consistent deterrent (as perhaps evidenced be the tea incident).  At the time I didn’t think they were insufficient, but given the intensity of what I received lately, I definitely feel extremely deterred to disobey.   My butt and breasts have been very red and even bruised from the couple of recent disciplining I received. 

SUBMISSIVE MINDSET
Other than a few mishaps, I am doing extremely well with my added duties and obligations.  I feel I have achieved the submissive mindset I was searching for.  Not that it is a final destination – I know I must work to maintain it and events in life can still threatened that mindset.  But, I really believe I consistently feel submissive and not just act submissive.  My thoughts are constantly on how I can better serve Mike and be a better wife, lover, and mother.  This “submissive mindset” is something I wrote about yearning for in Post 148. Dom/Sub Therapy Session.   

In my first two Thursday Maintenance Sessions I honestly had no “unsubmissive” thoughts to report.  My mind has been highly focused on Mike – his needs, his desires.  And while my attention has to be on other things at times, namely our son, my duties and obligations are always top of mind.  And it has been effortless.  Sort of a switch just went off and there it was, the focus I was looking for.   “Focus” is actually not a good word, because I don’t work at it. . . I don’t “focus” on it.  It just is.  It is just my mindset.

Even though I had nothing “unsubmissive” to report, I still receive the maintenance spankings and they have been whoppers.  Last Thursday I was a bit in knots in anticipation prior to the session as I knew what I was in for spanking-wise.  It is another one of those things that is hard to describe – the anxiety over what is to come becomes part of the pleasure once it does come.  Can’t explain it.  Must be a sub thing.  

DISCIPLINE – KAYLA
Things are all good between us.  The sex is frequent and fun, Mike’s D/s relationship with Kayla is going well.  Kayla feels very good about what she is getting from Mike.  I mentioned before their dynamic is a little different from Mike and I.  Even with the changes from our current Contract, Mike is much more strict and stern with her than he is with me.

It is uncommon, but not unheard of, for me to spank Kayla.  Typically I text Mike if she does something disobedient and await his instructions.  He might instruct me to discipline her on his behalf or he may indicate he will address it when he gets home.  When instructed to spank her, I also have to send him pictures of her butt to show him the results.  He may tell me to spank her more if what he sees is not to his liking. 

I don’t have a problem spanking her.  There was a time I found it interefered with my submissive mindset, but I’ve got past that.  I think I mentioned before that when I spank her, I really identify with and focus on her.  Her vulnerability, her submission, her shame.   To the extent I think about what I am doing, I think of it in the context of doing it for Mike because it is what he commanded.  All of this results in me being fine with spanking her and I can still maintain a submissive mindset. 

SEX – MIKE, JEN & KAYLA
Sex-wise, while Mike and I have plenty of sex, so do Kayla and Mike, especially oral.  Mike loves it, of course, but as I mentioned before, so does Kayla.  I’ve never known a woman who loves to suck cock as much as her.  I’ve also shared before that Kayla occasionally has an orgasm just over sucking Mike.  If J isn’t home, it is pretty typical for me to walk in with Kayla on her knees going at Mike, whether it be in the kitchen, while he sits and watches television, or is in his office working.

Most nights the three of us sleep together, but we still have designated “alone time” with Mike.  Kayla sleeps in her room and I get Mike alone, or I sleep in Kayla’s room and she gets Mike alone.  We don’t have set days for this anymore (Post 107).  It is just up to Mike to tell us what (or more accurately, “who”) he wants.

Mike choosing is a very casual thing.  He will simply tell me, “Jen, I want to sleep alone with Kayla tonight so you’ll sleep in her room tonight.”  And that is that.  I simply say “Yes, Sir.”  He does the same in telling Kayla when he wants to just sleep with me.  I am perfectly fine with this as I want him to have whomever he wants sexually.

There are times when we all sleep together where Mike will tell one of us to just masturbate and watch.  Other times he will tell us what he wants us all to be doing to each other.  And there are times he just let’s whatever happen, happen, no instructions.  Lastly, sometimes he will ask me or Kayla what we want.  

I am free to discuss any concerns I have about sex or anything else.  Such discussions are part of the purpose of our Sunday Maintenance Sessions.   It has been a long time since I shared concerns, questions, or asked Mike to clarify anything regarding sex.  Mike and I are fully “calibrated” on this topic – at least for now.   

SEX – JEN AND KAYLA
We probably have one-on-one sex with just the two of us about once a week.  Some weeks maybe a couple of times, or perhaps a full week without any times.  Just depends on schedules, what needs to be done around the house or with other errands, studying she needs to do, and of course, the all important mood.   Sometimes you just aren’t feeling it.

The most common situation for us to have sex lately is in the living room.  Chores all done, nothing to do but relax.  We are typically naked as is our house rule when J is at school.  She will cuddle up in my arms and we will watch something on t.v.   This may lead to some kissing, caressing, and before you know it — well, fingers and/or tongues are going in places.

SEX – JOHN AND DONNA
I haven’t written about them in a long time.  We still see them frequently, but perhaps a little less so.  Just busy schedules and other things always seem to be coming up.  Mike typically goes over to watch football on Sundays ((Post 69. Hot Dog…).  A few times I’ve gone with him, sometimes Kayla and not me, and sometimes neither of us.

There is still a “house” rule at John and Donna’s that Kayla and I must be topless once we enter (assuming no other guests are present).  And Donna is also topless.  There is usually some amount of “play” that goes on.  Oral sex or just plain old sex, in any combination of m/f, f/f, m/f/f, you can think of.  You just never know but it is always fun.  We haven’t had an evening out with them in many months, perhaps soon?  Neither Mike or John have had a business trip in a while and there’s been no sleep overs in awhile.    

A lot of this is due to there not being a lot of overt opportunities to get together.  I am sure the opportunities are there if we made an effort to make it happen.  But it is nice to be in this “effortless” space with them where, if it happens, it happens.  No expectations, no commitments.  Just great friends with whom we have some sexual fun with whenever the moment is ripe.  It also fits in with Mike’s demands that we slow down ((Post 146. Slow Down!).  While not intended to be aimed at John and Donna, Mike ordered that we don’t aggressively pursue more “relationships” such as via FetLife.  Our cups are full!  No need to over fill them.

Which is a great segue into my next post, because there is a new wrinkle in the “relationship” front.  While not totally unexpected, it poses some new concerns that we have to address.

NEXT: 185. Kayla’s Plus One

166. My favorite kinks

166

As I wrote in my last post, I spent quite a bit of time helping my sister move – just the two of us sorting and packing.  And if you’re new to my posts – my sister is aware of my DD lifestyle.  (Post 116).  Our relationship has always been such that we share TMI regarding our sex life, so it was normal for her to take this extended one-on-one time with me to ask more about my DD and details about my sex life.

In case your curious – my sister is straight-laced vanilla when it comes to sex.  The wildest thing she ever did in her life was when she was 19 she “let” another girl finger her and she reciprocated.  Oh, those college years!  She has been married 30 years, and claims to enjoy the three or four “go to” sexual positions her and her husband do.  She doesn’t own a single sex toy.  She is so deprived!

She asked me of all the sexual exploration and experiences since adopting Domestic Discipline (2.5 years ago), which things do I enjoy the most.  I immediately said, “Thanks sis, this should make a good topic to post about!” 

First off, I am reminded that everyone’s kink is weird and disgusting, except your own.  So yeah, think what you want, but even if you don’t find pleasure in the things I find pleasure in, you’re just as weird and disgusting in your own way.  Ha!

BEING WATCHED
Number two on my list is something I shared before (I’ll share #1 last).  I like to be watched.  (Post 20).   I’ve been able to occasionally scratch the exhibitionist itch (Post 38, Post 139 to mention a few).  Other than that it is more about being watched by one or more of Mike, Kayla, John, and Donna while I perform various sexual acts on either myself or on one of them.  While I enjoy anyone watching, I enjoy it the most when Mike is watching. 

I’LL TAKE A DOUBLE
The rest aren’t in any particular order, but what quickly came to mind when my sister asked me was that I enjoy double penetration – more specifically, having sex with John with me on top, while Mike is behind me entering me from (and in) the rear.  This satisfies my desire to have Mike watch, while also stimulating me in different ways.  I also prefer Mike to be the one behind me because he is more in tune with me and dp can be tricky — as in uncomfortable for me, if not a little painful — if the “guy in the back” is not paying attention.  

THE VOYEUR
I enjoy watching (and listening to) Kayla.  I love watching her have sex with Mike or anyone, but I really love to watch her masturbate.  She gets so lost in her pleasure — she is louder and more expressive than I am.  She almost always talks dirty, which is not unfamiliar to me personally, but she does it more and even does it when masturbating.

I know it sounds bad, but I enjoy watching her get spanked.  Not that I look forward to it, but it does turn me on.  I identify with her in that there is so much innocence and vulnerability on display that it stimulates that submissive in me.  And I love to watch Mike spank as it stimulates my need for him to be dominant.  Just thinking about this is enough to give me a tingle.  

BOOBS
The last thing that quickly came to mind as a top pick of sexual stimulation is something that I have a love/hate relationship with.  To be precise, it is “love/hate/loooove/hate/love/hate/more please/hate/please one more time/no, stop/yes, more please/hate/love” relationship.  That’s anything to do with punishments or rough play of my breasts – including the nipples. 

Clearly there is an intense dichotomy in how this makes me feel.  For instance, as soon as my nipples are clamped, I often quickly feel I can’t take another second of it, but if Mike removes them, I immediately want them back on.  I also like it when he slaps or even paddles or canes my breasts.  I’ve had a few of these punishments, (Post 61 and Post 133 were probably the most intense), but mostly when it comes to my breasts it has just been a clamp, a suction, or the tack bra.  Again, I can’t take much punishment as far as a wooden spoon or some other implement – I am quick with the safe word – but I find I am soon wishing I took more.  

Part of my love for this is that my breasts and nipples are so sensitive that the feeling lingers for a long time.  I actually like it when my nipples and breasts are a bit sore as it is a lingering reminder of my submissiveness.  I even get turned on when they are a little bruised – hey, can’t help it, it’s just the way I am wired.  I even like to see Kayla’s breasts marked with a bruise from a strike, or a hickey, or red from a binding.  Something about the “surrender” of the breast that intrigues me and stimulates me.  Yeah, I know, “weird and disgusting.”

CALIBRATION WITH MIKE
I hadn’t really thought of it until my sister asked me, but this did prompt me to share with Mike that I wouldn’t mind more breast related punishments.   Before you go questioning why would I do such a thing, or how can it be a punishment if I request it — keep this in mind — more than just hard limits, you have to communicate what is okay and what isn’t.  Doms and subs need to communicate to stay calibrated!

In having this discussion with Mike I learned that he purposely has kept certain breast punishments to a minimum because I seemed to always quickly go for the safe word.  He thought he was hurting me…well, I guess he was, but in a good way.   It is invaluable to be able to communicate that I am okay with a bit more intensity.  That doesn’t mean my “yellow” word doesn’t mean what it means.  He still has to pause.  But until I call “Mercy” (our “red” word), he can continue to resume whatever he was doing.

Regardless of their experience level, it is always helpful to give a Dom your validation that pressing the boundaries is okay because we have the safe word to fall back on.   Mike stated that if every punishment ended in “Mercy” that it would mean to him that he is doing something wrong.  This was an important breakthrough for us.  I praised him for how he has approached every punishment and reassured him I never think less of him the few times I’ve called for Mercy.  Not that I want to be brought to that point, but, I leave it completely up to him if that is what he thinks is appropriate for the situation. 

And just to reiterate this again — it is still a punishment and a deterrent, even if I get some joy out of it.  In the moment I don’t like any discipline, but frankly, it always gives me some level of satisfaction afterwards – some more than others.   No matter how physically uncomfortable they are, they all remind me that I am Mike’s, I serve him, I am his.  THAT ALWAYS turns me on and is my biggest, most favorite kink!  Again, “weird and disgusting, I know. . . but, so are your kinks!   

So, there you have it.  Some of my kinks that I love the most. 

NEXT:167. What is “Mine” versus What is “For Me.”

96. Kayla’s First. . .

embrace

This story is a bit overdue because of my required last post and because I got all my Christmas shopping done this week.

It happened a week ago – it was last Saturday (or technically, early Sunday morning) – Kayla got her first spanking.  By all accounts it was incredible, cathartic, emotional, exciting, and sexy.  But, I can only tell you about it second hand because I wasn’t there.   I am very happy that it happened the way it did.  In many ways my feelings about it are similar to Mike’s date night with Donna, but even more elated because of how special it was to Kayla.  It also served as a great bonding moment for the two of them.

Mike and I were both in bed (but not asleep, hee-hee) when Kayla texted asking if could come by right now.  We were a bit alarmed.  Mike told me that he would get up and “tend to Kayla” and that I was to go to sleep.  He would wake me if I was needed, otherwise, I was not to get up and he expected me to be asleep when he returned.   As hard as it was for me to accept, I didn’t question it and surprisingly, eventually fell asleep.

I was later awakened with both Mike and Kayla getting into our bed.  Mike simply told me that Kayla was going to spend the night and he’d explain more in the morning.   A naked Kayla snuggled up in between Mike and I and that was that.  Here’s what happened as it was conveyed to me.

Kayla arrived distraught.  She had been out with her best friend and her best friend’s boyfriend.  I mentioned them in a prior post as Kayla would sometimes have a threesome with them.   After they spent the evening out together, it was time to go back to their place.  Kayla told them she didn’t want to do “that” anymore.  She tried to explain that she enjoyed their company, wants to stay close friends, but just not the sex – apparently neither of them took it well and they got angry.

Kayla was very upset by their reaction and was also concerned she would go home and drink.  She thought it best to come over and see us – something we specifically encouraged her to do in these situations.  That is, in situations where she wanted to drink, not in situations where she wanted to break off a threesome (ha!).

Kayla explained to Mike that the threesomes were mostly just a physical thing.  She had known her best friend for years and they had messed around before she got a boyfriend.  She was never attracted to the boyfriend and the threesomes just sort of happened, but no real emotions.  Kayla said that she could see that her relationship with us was headed towards sex.  What she felt just thinking about Mike and I was so much more rewarding than the feelings she got from the actual threesomes with her friend.  This made her realize she should stop having sex with them.  On top of that she said it is also a safe-sex thing.  She felt a responsibility towards us to be more responsible with her own sex life.

As strongly as Kayla felt about this, it still upset her that her friend reacted the way she did.  She doesn’t want to lose her friend.  Mike could tell that Kayla was holding back the tears as best as she could and really needed a release.  Mike also had an idea.  From what they told me, it went something like this –

“Kayla, I have an idea,” said Mike.  “You wait here.”  Mike then went and retrieved something and came back to Kayla and said, “We are going on a short trip.”   The left our house and walked over to John and Donna’s.  They were out-of-town for the weekend and we have a key to their house.  Mike knows they would approve of his use of their house.

Kayla of course asked what this was about and Mike told her to just trust him and follow him.  When they got inside Mike said, “Kayla, take off your clothes and bend over.”

Kayla managed a confused, “What?  Really?  Now?”

Mike said, “That is not the proper response.  This spanking was not intended as a punishment, but as a release, but now you just earned some punishment swats. Understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Mike proceeded to give her several warm ups by hand.  Mike said she flung about quite a bit at first but soon settled in and took them with only a little flinch.   He then pulled out “little shorty” as we call it.  It is a small wooden paddle that Mike took from our collection and tucked into his waistband before leaving the house.  He kept Kayla over his knee and spanked her with it using what he said was “fairly good” force.

About half way through Kayla started to cry and he encouraged her to let it out as loud as she needed to and he would not stop until she did.  He said it wasn’t long until she was bawling her eyes out.  When he finished with the paddle he held Kayla for quite a while as she continued to cry loudly and deeply.  As her tears started to subside he asked her what she was feeling.

“I am not sure,” she said.

With that Mike said, “Okay then, bend over.”  He took off his belt and began spanking her with it very hard and in quick succession.  He then told her to stand up and again he said, “What are you feeling?”

She hesitated and Mike quickly said, “Bend over again.”

Again, several by belt in quick succession.  At this point Kayla was again intensely crying.  He held her until it subsided and once again asked, “What are you feeling.”

She finally was able to articulate a feeling and loudly said, “Scared.”

“I am scared that I lost one of my friends.  I am scared that I will disappoint you and Jen.  I am scared that I won’t do well on my finals next week.  I am scared that I won’t want to return to school next fall and start my masters.  I am scared if I do return to school that I will find it too hard.  I am scared my mom won’t function well without me at home.  I am just so scared.”

With that she cried even more severely as she cried into Mike’s chest as he held her.  Mike didn’t try to specifically address any of her concerns and just encouraged her to vent and said he was there to listen and ensured her, “If you need to keep crying, you just keep crying.”

He told her he felt awful that this was all happening to her and that both he and I would be there for her and she could never disappoint us and that we both loved her.   As it was a bit chilly Mike got a blanket and then they got on the couch.  He laid down on his back with Kayla laying on him with her back on his chest and her head just below his.  He wrapped his arms around the blanket and her.  She continued to cry for some time.

Mike then asked, “What are you feeling?”  He said Kayla paused for just a moment, as if she was pondering whether or not she was in for another spanking if she didn’t have a response.  Then she quickly said, “Actually, I feel really good right now.”    Mike asked her to elaborate.   “I feel loved, I feel safe, I feel warm, and I feel welcomed.  Is that enough of an answer?”    Mike said, “That’s the question I would ask you.  Is that enough?”   “Yes, Sir, for the moment, it is more than enough.”

At some point Kayla flipped around so she was facing Mike, and they began to kiss – their first!   Kayla pretty quickly got “handsy” and started unzipping Mike’s pants.  She started to stroke him when Mike stopped her.  He wasn’t sure what to say.  His first thought was that he wasn’t sure it was a good moment as she was coming off something highly emotional.  Okay, he admits that was his second thought, right after thinking, “Hell, yes!”   He could immediately see a dejected look on her face and thought, “oh no, what have I done by rejecting her.”

He finally put his thoughts together and said, “Kayla, I want to have sex with you, but I’d like us to wait until Jen is around so all three of us can experience it together.”   She started to say, “But…” and stopped herself.  And again, Mike could see she was hurt by his rejection of her advances.

Mike then said, “Kayla, stand up right now.”  Kayla did so.  Mike slowly looked over her naked body and he could see Kayla was nervous.  Mike said, “Kayla, you are beautiful and we will have sex soon enough.  For now, get on your knees, pull my pants down and give me a blow job.”  Kayla complied.

When she was finished – make that, when HE was finished, ha! – he told her to lay down on the couch.
“Now, touch yourself while I watch.”   Kayla hesitated, her hand started moving towards her thighs but then she stopped, then started, and then stopped again.  It was like she wasn’t sure where to start, or even if she should.  Mike said he felt like it would help her to get started without him staring. He said, “I am going to get a drink of water and by the time I come back your fingers need to be in your wet pussy.”  With that Kayla began to touch herself and when Mike returned just a minute later, she was relaxed and enjoy herself.  It wasn’t long before she had an orgasm.

They then kissed for some time and then Mike said it was time to go.  Mike told Kayla she would be staying with us for the night.  The next thing I knew they were crawling in bed with Kayla, naked, between me and Mike.  I was naked as well.

Mike told me that all was well and in the morning they would share with me what happened.  So we each put an arm around Kayla and we all went to sleep.  I could smell the sex, so I knew something had gone on.  Suffice to say I went to sleep with a smile on my face, but probably not as big as the smile on Mike and Kayla’s face. When we woke up in the morning, Kayla was wrapped tightly around Mike in firm embrace.  She looked so peaceful.

NEXT:  97. Less Kayla, more Mike, Jen, and Kayla.

90. Delightfully naughty – Mike’s date night with Donna

naught

If you are a regular reader I hope you aren’t getting tired of hearing about Donna.  John returns home this weekend so things should get a bit back to “normal” (if you want to call anything about my life “normal”).   I do have some Kayla updates, perhaps my next post?  Until then . . .

I wrote this last night but ran out of time due to my “curfew” so I am posting it now.

Strange(love).
Mike wanted to see the movie Doctor Strange but he knows that type of movie doesn’t appeal to me. So today he said he and Donna were going to go see it tonight.  She loves all the Marvel movies.

Convention says I should be jealous.  Given I am no stranger to jealousy, it should be a no-brainer that it would rear its’ ugly head – but it did not.  I really am not a jealous person, with the glaring exception of what I’ve already addressed in my recent posts.

I was actually excited – very excited. Surprisingly extremely excited.  Like, way more excited than I could have ever imagined, and more excited than Mike or Donna was.  I proclaimed to both of them, “Awesome, a date night for the two of you!”

They both dismissed my proclamation of it being a “date” and said it was just a movie.   I told them they should play it up as a date – go to dinner too.  Make an evening of it. I even told them they should go over to her house afterwards for a nightcap (sex).  They thought I was being facetious.  I assured them I wasn’t.  I was genuinely excited for them.  Just the thoughts of it made me warm and tingley inside.   The whole idea was erotic to me.

They both looked at each other and I could tell that my encouragement was causing them to warm up to the idea of considering it a date.  Donna felt compelled to ask John if it was okay, even though he already told us all that with few exceptions, Mike had carte blanche regarding dictating Donna’s activities.  None-the-less, this seemed more intimate (as if sex isn’t intimate but dinner and a movie is?).  John was good with it.

Mike and Donna were still downplaying it but I was hyped up like a kid in a candy store.  I wanted them to have a real “couples” date.  I told them they should hold hands while they are out and present themselves as a couple.  So what if someone we know sees them.  It’s all part of the naughtiness and fun.

I never contemplated a date night for them.  While I am not surprised that I am okay with it, I am surprised how excited it made me.   Literally got that special tingle in my tummy and in my nether-regions at just the thought of the two of them enjoying the company of the other in a date-like setting.  I liked the idea of Mike getting time with Donna in such a setting.  Donna is my best friend and while obviously they know each other, having that informal one-on-one time is an opportunity to know each other in a different way.   The thought of them having a closer friendship excites me.

With my encouragement they added dinner to their plans.  I even cajoled Donna to go home and shower and dress up a bit and wait for Mike to pick her up.  I asked Mike to shave and wear something nice too.  I convinced them to go to a nice couples-oriented restaurant versus something that is more family fare.  I told Mike that just thinking about them holding hands or exchanging a “peck” in public or doing anything couple-like was making me wet.  And knowing their date could end with their “night cap,” – oh my, I told them that just the thought of it was making me want to touch myself.  It sure got my juices flowing.

Mike gave me an order regarding what I must do while they were out.  I can not stay up waiting on them.  I am to journal and do my blog if I wish, then put on some nice music, light some candles, and take a long nice bath.  Then, get into bed and I am NOT to masturbate (oh no, I am so ready to do that!).   He wants me in bed with lights out no later than 9:15.  He expects to be home by one or so and would wake me when they got home. He said only then can I masturbate while they watch me.

OMG!  I am already wanting to get my hands in my pants just thinking about their night out.  Then, having such a relaxing evening will just increase my libido even more.  Then, knowing I will get to put on a show for them gives one more exciting thing to anticipate.  I can’t wait!     Well, it’s getting close to bed time and I need to take my bath.  Then it is lights out – and hands out (of my panties).  Oh wait, I don’t wear panties to bed.  So technically, it is hands off, not hands out – at least until they get home!

This is all so delightfully naughty!

NEXT: 91. Undressing Kayla

49. Revealing More

This post is a bit of a ramble and probably dry for many of you.   I want to reveal more about myself outside of DD.  It is mundane, but I wanted to give some insight that parts of my life are probably not all that different than yours.

Writing all this also reminds me how fortunate I am. I feel I generally exude an appreciation about my lot in life.  I am an upbeat person, which I hope comes across in my writing.  I find the good in life.  Typically the only attention I give to the bad is whatever time it takes to subdue it with a glance.  Okay, maybe not as easy as a glance.  Anyway, this self-reflection has helped serve as a deeper reminder of my fortune.

First, my life has been far less hectic and stressful over the last year, sans a few exceptions.  I credit several things with that, including our DD lifestyle (which began in March 2015).  But another change that was just as significant was that we put our youngest back in school last fall.  I home schooled him prior to that.

KIDS
I mentioned before our youngest has special needs.  I don’t work outside the home and as a former school counselor who considered being a teacher, I felt up to the task of home schooling.  We tried the public schools early on and despite their best efforts, they couldn’t provide what I knew I was capable of providing of him.  So we home schooled until last school year.  He started high school last year, a grade behind, and with special ed classes.  His emotional needs have decreased significantly, perhaps a combination of the 3 M’s – maturity, medication, and mom.  He still is probably three years or so younger than his peers from a maturity standpoint, and depending on the subject matter, 1-3 years behind intellectually.  While some kids with his condition actually go to college and live independently, his form and his degree of the condition will preclude that.

We felt he could possibly succeed in school so we gave it a try.  Our expectations were low and I was certain I was going to have to pull him out at some point — but the school did a great job and he thrived.  So, having him in school during the school year not only has benefited him, but it lessened a major responsibility that I had.  I was still very involved and spent a lot of time volunteering at the school, but that’s a far cry from having to home school him.

Of course, it’s been summer time which means no school.  I have a great support system in place to help out.  Mike is wonderful, and often gives me a day out on a weekend where he stays home or takes our son somewhere and I am free to relax, go shopping, or whatever.  My sister also tries to pick up our son once a month and take him on an outing.  Then we have my parents who take him for two weeks out of the summer.  All of that support helps me keep my batteries charged.  Despite his tremendous improvements over the last few years, caring for his needs requires tremendous patience, love, and attention.

As I mentioned, I stay at home.  Our middle child is away at college and was only home for a few weeks this summer as he went back for summer school.  Our oldest is on his own and doing very well for himself.   My husband, Mike, works in sales and splits time between the actual office and his home office.  He typically works from home every Friday, and it isn’t uncommon for him to go in the office in the morning, then come home for lunch and work the afternoon from home.

HUSBAND
Mike makes good money.  We aren’t wealthy, but we are comfortable.  We haven’t always been, but Mike’s worked hard and moved up within the ranks of his company to a well-paid position.  Well enough that I don’t have to work, we get all the bills paid, and have enough left over for a vacation or two each year.

Anyone who has read through my blog will see that he has grown a lot in our DD journey.  He is a kind and gentle person, and being Dominant is as contrary to what people would think of him as being Submissive is to what people would think of me.  It is interesting that our personas outside the household are very different than within the household.

Mike and I have been married 25 years now (recently had our 25th anniversary).  He just turned 48 and I am turning 47 this month.   We knew each other in high school and actually dated on and off a couple of times in high school.  Even when we weren’t dating each other, we were good friends.

SHOPPING
Since I mentioned finances, let me talk shopping!  They are related after all.   Early in our marriage I let my compulsion for shopping get out of hand.  Over time we were able to climb out of the debt hole, and then there was still the occasional momentary lapse into a shopping spree.  I became really good at returning things.  DD has helped in that I now have to ask permission to purchase anything beyond the groceries, toiletries, and cleaning supplies.

I am the type of shopper that looks at an object and immediately experiences the potential of that object.  I don’t mean just thinks of the potential, but actually feels it emotionally.  Consider a beach towel.  I’ve got a dozen of them.  I don’t need another.  But I see a really cute one and my buying decision is not about need. It is about feeling the sound of popping the towel on a sunny beach as I spread it across the sand.  The warmth of the sand between my toes, the sound of the ocean waves gently tapping against the beach.  The feeling of relaxation with not a care in the world.  These sights, sounds, and emotions would just rush in at the sight of the towel.  I want that experience to continue and buying it will give me that experience at least a little longer.   Pre-DD I had eventually learned some coping skills to try and suppress these emotional rushes.  They were highly successful but not perfect.  DD has been fool-proof.  I simply must ask anytime I want to buy stuff.  Definitely a buzz kill.

CHORES
I’ve talked a lot about chores before and it may sound like I do everything.  I do a lot, but I am home a lot.  Mike does help out.  Mike has always been a “clean as you go” kind of person.  He still is and is not one to leave his own things laying around.  That helps, especially for someone who is a “clean it later” kind of person.  We have two laundry baskets and the rule is we do laundry as soon as they are full, whatever day that may be.  It is my duty to take care of this but there are times Mike will take it upon himself to put a load in early, even put them in the dryer, fold, and put them away, just because he could.

Cooking-wise, we typically eat out anywhere from once to twice a week.  Mike likes to cook, but it isn’t always practical with his work schedule.  He typically cooks on Saturdays, and sometimes he does so Sunday and a weekday if he gets off early.   So, I am typically cooking 3-4 times a week.

I’ve got in the habit of vacuuming and sweeping every day, so I got that covered.  Not the entire house, but at least one or two rooms every day.  The one area Mike would get an “F” if I were grading him is the bathrooms.   It’s been that way since we were first married.  Somehow that was always my domain.  Oh well, the yard work is entirely his domain!

ADULT TIME
We were fortune to find a great sitter, but she isn’t always available.  She is a college student studying education with emphasis on special-ed.  She should get credit hours for watching our son!!  While he is in high school now, he can’t be alone.   My sister is often the go-to person to watch our son.  That gives Mike and I at least one date-night a week.   We either go out on our own to dinner and movie, or sometimes go out with John and Donna, or, we go over to John and Donna’s to hang out (i.e. some very adult time).

I mentioned before that Mike and I went to a couple FetLife functions.  Since my son was injured shortly after we went to our first functions, we had to put that extra socializing on hold as we couldn’t’ expect anyone to watch him with his increased needs.  Things are finally back in order and we plan to revisit that.  We don’t have any specific expectations, other than mingle with some like-minded folks and see where the mingling takes us.

POLITICS and RELIGION
You don’t think I would seriously go there?  Talk about a major buzz kill!  Let me just say my beliefs regarding those topics are anchored deeply with my strong belief in equality, empathy, and liberty.  Therefore, it goes without saying that my politics are x and my religious beliefs are y.

ALONE TIME
I get a reasonable amount of alone time.  It is even prescribed in our DD.  Mike may actually order it from time to time.  I am not talking about punishment oriented alone time like standing in a corner or writing lines.   I mean time alone at home when Mike takes our son out, or time alone at home while Mike attends to our son and I just relax (watching tv, web surfing, reading, blogging, masturbating, or whatever).

You can tell just how much free time I have by how often I blog.  The last four or five days have been great regarding my free time, but I worked hard to get that free time!   Maybe I should have been masturbating more and blogging less?

OUR NEW DYNAMIC
If you read the last post, you’ll know we are entering a bit of a different dynamic in our Domestic Discipline.  Mike continued to be strict last night and all day today.  There are some new rules but pretty mundane stuff, mostly various household organizational stuff.  Basically, it’s all his pet peeves that I must now adopt.  I am not saying that sarcastically or in a bothersome tone.  It is just the simplest way to explain it.  We all have our pet peeves, and now he has his “pet” to address his… hee hee.   I am happy to take that on as it is part of the service and submission that I want to give.

That’s a bit more about my days. See, it isn’t all just living one punishment to the next.  Of course, that’s the more interesting stuff to read about and the more interesting stuff to write about.  Speaking of interesting stuff, I mentioned before that Mike got a waxing kit and we were going to go over to John and Donna’s and she was going to give me a Brazillian.   Well, she had some issue arise. They didn’t share the details with us but suffice to say as part of a punishment John was not allowing her to have friends over.  We’ve come to really enjoy our time with them.  Perhaps I should share more of those stories?   Maybe next time!

Thanks for sticking with this post and learning more about my daily life.

Next:  50. Five Acts of Service