Welcome to my 150th post!
Immersion 2017 is here. . . starting tomorrow to be exact. (See prior posts re Post 141. Master/slave Immersion 2.0).
J is heading to my parents for a week leaving us child-free and carefree, with one hitch. Our middle son T2 called to say he would be coming home for a few weeks. He is away at college and will take some summer courses but has a gap with some free time so he decided to spend it at home. How inconsiderate! Doesn’t he know we need to get our kink on!
The good news is we still have several days at home that will be kid free, and the better news is that Mike was able to quickly find us a getaway for the other days. He rented a cabin in the Texas hill country. It is on something like 15 or 20 acres so is secluded enough that we will be far from prying eyes. I am very excited about this as it is really our first “vacation” with just the three of us. The secluded nature of it presents new possibilities for kink exploring.
I am going into this “immersion” invigorated and excited. Mike’s handling of what I shared on Post 148. Dom/sub Therapy Session really got me out of my self pity-spiral. Intuitively I always knew that it was detrimental to hold myself to some elusive ideal of the perfect submissive – submissive in all thought and action. I never intended to strive for perfection. I just wanted and still want to be “more” submissive. But my inability to achieve progress that was satisfactory to me turned it into a burden that sent me down emotionally. I already feel that burdened has lifted.
Always the cunning linguist, Mike made it clear that from now on my progress as a submissive is at his “pleasure and measure” and he is extremely happy with my submission. It would have been very un-submissive of me to not accept his “pleasure and measure” proclamation. By accepting what he was saying, not only did it mean I was thinking submissively, but by giving up my unrealistic ideal and subjecting myself only to Mike’s ideal, it meant all the burden was lifted. Voila! My pity party was immediately over! Mike’s a genius!
I do seek to think more submissively, but I have no arbitrary timeline in my mind or set definition of what that actually means. I simply continue to be more submissive to the degree it suits Mike. Odd, but giving up such control should be scary – for instance, what if Mike was more demanding of me than I was to myself? It seems like that my desire to please him would create more pressure than the desire to please myself. But, it was just the opposite for me. I don’t know why that is. I guess I trust Mike so much and perhaps know that my expectations of myself can often be unrealistic, but Mike’s expectations of me never are. It’s odd, but in order to achieve the level of submission I want for myself, I had to stop wanting it for myself and instead want it for Mike.
ENTERING THE FORBIDDEN ZONE
On top of this much improved emotional state is the fact I have been looking forward to our Immersion for some time. Last year was intense, and I was so glad when it was over, but I look forward to doing it again. I like that we have set aside some time to throw out our routine and experiment with some crazier kink. It’s like going into the laboratory and just mixing up stuff to see what you get. We have given ourselves permission to try things we wouldn’t normally want to try, explore new sensations and experiences, all for the sake of experiment. It helps us all identify and separate what is pleasurable versus tolerable, or what is tolerable versus what is intolerable.
Mike thought it would be good if we had a slogan for our Immersion each year. Sort of way to “market” to ourselves a particular theme or idea. We threw around some ideas and Mike picked one of mine as our slogan — Entering the Forbidden Zone!
Here’s a preview:
Day 1 is my “puppy” day where basically I am treated like a dog. Eat (human food) and drink water from bowls, sleep on the floor, and use a litter box. Okay, that last one would make me a cat, not a dog, but just go with it. Mike engineered a human sized litter box. And yes, it is for both peeing and pooping. The added twist is that Kayla will address hygiene issues for “cleaning the dog.” Ugh, similar to last years “activities of daily living.” I’ll be bathed and groomed. Mike had me not shave my legs, pits, or pubes for the last week or so. Mike and Kayla will “groom” me. I also can not speak and must get around on all fours and stay off furniture. It also comes complete with leash and collar.
The odd thing is that none of us have a Pet Play fetish. It reinforces an owner/owned dependency and Mike just thought it would be entertaining for all and challenging for me. Not something I would have chosen, but I am game!
On Day 2 my pet play is over and it is Kayla’s turn. She will be diapered and treated like a baby. She too can only crawl, and has to be helped with bathing, dressing, and eating. She can not use the toilet because, well, she’s a baby! That’s what the diapers are for. She also can’t talk – just whine or cry when she needs something. This experiment comes complete with pacifier, bottle feedings, and a make-shift high chair.
SHIBARI SENSATION DAY
No, Shibari Sensation is not the stage name for a Japanese stripper, but you have to admit, it would be a good one. Anyway, Mike said Day 3 will be focused on experiencing as many different sensations as possible. He said, “It will involve some ice, some food, the wand, lots of clothes pins, some bengay, and a surprise.” He also has purchased some more rope for bondage play and has “some hogties and various other tied up positions” he wants to try. And he added, “and of course, this includes spanking and flogging and more!” Oh my!
Once at our secluded get-away, Mike said to expect a lot of nakedness, both inside the cabin and out. The way he put it was, “Expect a lot of open air high-jinks.” I hope this comes complete with plenty of mosquito repellent!
Mike also said there would be other things in store for us that we would learn about when the time comes. Oh that creative man!