This post is a bit of a ramble and probably dry for many of you. I want to reveal more about myself outside of DD. It is mundane, but I wanted to give some insight that parts of my life are probably not all that different than yours.
Writing all this also reminds me how fortunate I am. I feel I generally exude an appreciation about my lot in life. I am an upbeat person, which I hope comes across in my writing. I find the good in life. Typically the only attention I give to the bad is whatever time it takes to subdue it with a glance. Okay, maybe not as easy as a glance. Anyway, this self-reflection has helped serve as a deeper reminder of my fortune.
First, my life has been far less hectic and stressful over the last year, sans a few exceptions. I credit several things with that, including our DD lifestyle (which began in March 2015). But another change that was just as significant was that we put our youngest back in school last fall. I home schooled him prior to that.
I mentioned before our youngest has special needs. I don’t work outside the home and as a former school counselor who considered being a teacher, I felt up to the task of home schooling. We tried the public schools early on and despite their best efforts, they couldn’t provide what I knew I was capable of providing of him. So we home schooled until last school year. He started high school last year, a grade behind, and with special ed classes. His emotional needs have decreased significantly, perhaps a combination of the 3 M’s – maturity, medication, and mom. He still is probably three years or so younger than his peers from a maturity standpoint, and depending on the subject matter, 1-3 years behind intellectually. While some kids with his condition actually go to college and live independently, his form and his degree of the condition will preclude that.
We felt he could possibly succeed in school so we gave it a try. Our expectations were low and I was certain I was going to have to pull him out at some point — but the school did a great job and he thrived. So, having him in school during the school year not only has benefited him, but it lessened a major responsibility that I had. I was still very involved and spent a lot of time volunteering at the school, but that’s a far cry from having to home school him.
Of course, it’s been summer time which means no school. I have a great support system in place to help out. Mike is wonderful, and often gives me a day out on a weekend where he stays home or takes our son somewhere and I am free to relax, go shopping, or whatever. My sister also tries to pick up our son once a month and take him on an outing. Then we have my parents who take him for two weeks out of the summer. All of that support helps me keep my batteries charged. Despite his tremendous improvements over the last few years, caring for his needs requires tremendous patience, love, and attention.
As I mentioned, I stay at home. Our middle child is away at college and was only home for a few weeks this summer as he went back for summer school. Our oldest is on his own and doing very well for himself. My husband, Mike, works in sales and splits time between the actual office and his home office. He typically works from home every Friday, and it isn’t uncommon for him to go in the office in the morning, then come home for lunch and work the afternoon from home.
Mike makes good money. We aren’t wealthy, but we are comfortable. We haven’t always been, but Mike’s worked hard and moved up within the ranks of his company to a well-paid position. Well enough that I don’t have to work, we get all the bills paid, and have enough left over for a vacation or two each year.
Anyone who has read through my blog will see that he has grown a lot in our DD journey. He is a kind and gentle person, and being Dominant is as contrary to what people would think of him as being Submissive is to what people would think of me. It is interesting that our personas outside the household are very different than within the household.
Mike and I have been married 25 years now (recently had our 25th anniversary). He just turned 48 and I am turning 47 this month. We knew each other in high school and actually dated on and off a couple of times in high school. Even when we weren’t dating each other, we were good friends.
Since I mentioned finances, let me talk shopping! They are related after all. Early in our marriage I let my compulsion for shopping get out of hand. Over time we were able to climb out of the debt hole, and then there was still the occasional momentary lapse into a shopping spree. I became really good at returning things. DD has helped in that I now have to ask permission to purchase anything beyond the groceries, toiletries, and cleaning supplies.
I am the type of shopper that looks at an object and immediately experiences the potential of that object. I don’t mean just thinks of the potential, but actually feels it emotionally. Consider a beach towel. I’ve got a dozen of them. I don’t need another. But I see a really cute one and my buying decision is not about need. It is about feeling the sound of popping the towel on a sunny beach as I spread it across the sand. The warmth of the sand between my toes, the sound of the ocean waves gently tapping against the beach. The feeling of relaxation with not a care in the world. These sights, sounds, and emotions would just rush in at the sight of the towel. I want that experience to continue and buying it will give me that experience at least a little longer. Pre-DD I had eventually learned some coping skills to try and suppress these emotional rushes. They were highly successful but not perfect. DD has been fool-proof. I simply must ask anytime I want to buy stuff. Definitely a buzz kill.
I’ve talked a lot about chores before and it may sound like I do everything. I do a lot, but I am home a lot. Mike does help out. Mike has always been a “clean as you go” kind of person. He still is and is not one to leave his own things laying around. That helps, especially for someone who is a “clean it later” kind of person. We have two laundry baskets and the rule is we do laundry as soon as they are full, whatever day that may be. It is my duty to take care of this but there are times Mike will take it upon himself to put a load in early, even put them in the dryer, fold, and put them away, just because he could.
Cooking-wise, we typically eat out anywhere from once to twice a week. Mike likes to cook, but it isn’t always practical with his work schedule. He typically cooks on Saturdays, and sometimes he does so Sunday and a weekday if he gets off early. So, I am typically cooking 3-4 times a week.
I’ve got in the habit of vacuuming and sweeping every day, so I got that covered. Not the entire house, but at least one or two rooms every day. The one area Mike would get an “F” if I were grading him is the bathrooms. It’s been that way since we were first married. Somehow that was always my domain. Oh well, the yard work is entirely his domain!
We were fortune to find a great sitter, but she isn’t always available. She is a college student studying education with emphasis on special-ed. She should get credit hours for watching our son!! While he is in high school now, he can’t be alone. My sister is often the go-to person to watch our son. That gives Mike and I at least one date-night a week. We either go out on our own to dinner and movie, or sometimes go out with John and Donna, or, we go over to John and Donna’s to hang out (i.e. some very adult time).
I mentioned before that Mike and I went to a couple FetLife functions. Since my son was injured shortly after we went to our first functions, we had to put that extra socializing on hold as we couldn’t’ expect anyone to watch him with his increased needs. Things are finally back in order and we plan to revisit that. We don’t have any specific expectations, other than mingle with some like-minded folks and see where the mingling takes us.
POLITICS and RELIGION
You don’t think I would seriously go there? Talk about a major buzz kill! Let me just say my beliefs regarding those topics are anchored deeply with my strong belief in equality, empathy, and liberty. Therefore, it goes without saying that my politics are x and my religious beliefs are y.
I get a reasonable amount of alone time. It is even prescribed in our DD. Mike may actually order it from time to time. I am not talking about punishment oriented alone time like standing in a corner or writing lines. I mean time alone at home when Mike takes our son out, or time alone at home while Mike attends to our son and I just relax (watching tv, web surfing, reading, blogging, masturbating, or whatever).
You can tell just how much free time I have by how often I blog. The last four or five days have been great regarding my free time, but I worked hard to get that free time! Maybe I should have been masturbating more and blogging less?
OUR NEW DYNAMIC
If you read the last post, you’ll know we are entering a bit of a different dynamic in our Domestic Discipline. Mike continued to be strict last night and all day today. There are some new rules but pretty mundane stuff, mostly various household organizational stuff. Basically, it’s all his pet peeves that I must now adopt. I am not saying that sarcastically or in a bothersome tone. It is just the simplest way to explain it. We all have our pet peeves, and now he has his “pet” to address his… hee hee. I am happy to take that on as it is part of the service and submission that I want to give.
That’s a bit more about my days. See, it isn’t all just living one punishment to the next. Of course, that’s the more interesting stuff to read about and the more interesting stuff to write about. Speaking of interesting stuff, I mentioned before that Mike got a waxing kit and we were going to go over to John and Donna’s and she was going to give me a Brazillian. Well, she had some issue arise. They didn’t share the details with us but suffice to say as part of a punishment John was not allowing her to have friends over. We’ve come to really enjoy our time with them. Perhaps I should share more of those stories? Maybe next time!
Thanks for sticking with this post and learning more about my daily life.
Next: 50. Five Acts of Service