274. Got Milk(ing)? Immersion 2018

Missed-erectomy
Quick update – a few posts back I mentioned I am getting a hysterectomy.  I rescheduled it until early November.  I originally was going to have it Monday – which was the first day of school for J.  I decided I would rather wait until we settled in on a school routine – Kayla is back in school as well – before having to be laid up for a few weeks.   Yeah, a bit of a weak excuse.  The reality is I just am not looking forward to it.  But I will get it done this year.  Mike was supportive of me rescheduling.   Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming – – – 

DESIRE VS FANTASY
Although I may slip up now and then and refer to a desire as a fantasy, I want to point out what these words have different meanings to us.  We use the term “desire” for things we want to do.  We reserve the word “fantasy” for things we enjoy thinking about, but wouldn’t really want to do.  This goes way back to an early post (Post 16).  Funny, reading that post today gives me a chuckle.  We have become so comfortable sharing our sexual thoughts, dreams, desires, and fantasies that I forget that it used to be uncomfortable to do so.   

MIKE’S DAIRY DESIRE
Read the prior post if you haven’t.   And now, I’ll get right to it.    Nurse Ann, or more accurately, Nursing Ann.  Yes, she is lactating. 

Adult breast-feeding has long been a desire of Mike’s, but I didn’t learn about it until about three years ago when we started opening up about such things.   Pity he didn’t share this fantasy back when I was breastfeeding.  But I also was in a different mindset and may have rejected the notion at that time.   I am so happy we can be open about such things now.   Ever since he told me of this desire I’ve kept it in the back of my mind, hopeful that I would come across the opportunity to help him fulfill it.  Well, now it’s done!

By the time Mister and Nurse Ann arrived early one morning, the rest of our entourage (John, Donna, Matt) had been with us at the rental for about two days.  Matt was leaving soon and John and Donna would be leaving after lunch.  Matt left soon after we wrapped up our “orgy,” leaving me, Matt, Kayla, John, and Donna with our new acquaintances.   

We were all naked, including Nurse Ann, who disrobed and masturbated as she watched all the sexual activities.  Mike then told us that they weren’t here just for the sex, and that Nurse Ann was here to breast feed “us.”   Yes, while her primary purpose was to fulfill Mike’s desire to breastfeed, we all would have a turn.

Mike went into the bedroom alone with Nurse Ann as he wanted it to be a more private experience.  In addition to nursing on Ann, she gave him a hand job.  I guess her and Mister don’t consider that sex re the “no sex with Ann” edict.   To each their own. 

Mike told me to go next, and he came into the bedroom with me and watched.  I already knew what to expect taste-wise as I had tasted my own breast milk way back when.  Yep, no change.  If you’ve never tried it I imagine it is a bit like taking a glass of milk, warming it, adding some water and adding a touch of sugar.  Yeah, watered down sweet milk, but not too watered down as the taste isn’t watery, just less, well, what’s the word? Less cow milky?   Ha!  That made me do a google search.  Here’s someone’s description that I thought was worth sharing.  

I enjoyed it, both for myself and because I know Mike enjoyed watching.  I enjoyed looking up into Ann’s eyes as I suckled and the look on her face.  I knew it was doing something for me sexually as I felt the moisture between my legs.  Mike could sense it as a few minutes into it he told me to finger myself.  He told me I had couldn’t stop sucking until I came.  I eventually did, but not until she reached down with her hand and began fingering me.

Nurse Ann then needed a break to recharge.  This gave us the opportunity to learn more about her and Mister.

MISTER AND ANN
They have two kids who were staying at grandparents (how familiar!), but they are older and not breastfeeding.  Turns out that while she did breastfeed them when they were babies, she stopped and her milk supply subsequently dried up.  A few years ago she “expressed” (hee-hee, that’s a breast-feeding joke), to her husband that she wanted to lactate as she, in her words said, she “wanted him to feed from her breasts.”

She actually induced milk production without getting pregnant.  She said it took about five months of work before she started producing, and then the production increased to where it is today – about three to four ounces every three to four hours.   A supply on par with someone nursing a baby.   And her and her husband have always had a kinky sex life that included other couples, that eventually she decided to continue producing milk as sort of their “thing” in TTWD.

We learned that at one time they were into full swapping, but evolved to where he is free to have sex with women as long as she is present, and she will only masturbate and watch or manually stimulate other men or women (check, check, and check).   Mister did say one downside to this kink is that sometimes her breasts and nipples get very tender, but that also is part of the pleasure she gets.  He quipped, “it’s hard to explain why they pain is also the pleasure,” to which I was quick to retort, “You don’t have to explain that to us!” 

I was intrigued by the concept of inducing lactation.  Apparently it just takes a combination of the right stimulation and herbal supplements (there are also prescription drugs).  I’ve since googled it and found adoptive mothers often do this and in some cultures, the grandmother does it as a way to provide a backup to the mother.  Who knew? 

I later said to Mike, “Sir, before the idea goes any further, I am calling ‘red’ on trying to get me to induce lactation.”   He smiled and admitted the thought crossed his mind but he wasn’t going to ask me to do it.  For one, we’ve been talking about me getting a breast reduction (which I’ve put off until some time next year due to my upcoming hysterectomy), and I can’t be lactating.  The other is my boobs are big and droopy enough – I don’t need them engorged and swollen ever again!

Kayla half-jokingly said she would be willing to try if it meant gaining a cup size, but Mike said he wouldn’t want her to do so with the warm and loving reply of  “No need to stretch those puppies as they are perfect as they are.”  hee hee.  Also, apparently it is much more challenging to induce lactation if you have never lactated previously – although I don’t know that for a fact, but it must be true as I read it somewhere on the internet!

OTHERS GET A TURN
Ann was ready to feed again by early afternoon.  Thus Kayla, John, and Donna got a turn.  Kayla was smitten.  She really loved it.  She quickly asked if she could do it again.  Mike said the plan was that we would all get the opportunity to do it at least once more and after that, it would be up to Nurse Ann to allow more.  

The second time around John declined and said, “Kayla can have mine if that’s okay.”   Which it was.   Mister and Nurse Ann stayed with us that entire day and spent the night, leaving early the next morning.  John and Donna left that afternoon.  Me, Mike, Kayla, and Mister had sex again before the night was done, and Kayla fed on Nurse Ann’s breasts a few more times.   

When it was time for bed, Kayla asked Mike and Miss Ann if she could have one more feeding before going to sleep.  She also asked if it could just be her and Miss Ann.  Up to that point me and Mike always watched.  Mike and Miss Ann agreed.   Mike and I went to our bedroom and Mister to his, leaving Miss Ann and Kayla alone in the living room. 

Quite some time had passed so Mike went out to the living room to see what was going on.  Miss Ann smiled at Mike as she was cradling Kayla’s head next to her breast.  Kayla was asleep.   She had completely drained one breast and had switched sides to suckle on the other and ended up falling asleep.   Mike motioned to Miss Ann to wait just a minute as he went to get me from the bedroom so I could see this.   

Mike felt this was a perfect transition to the next day which was Kayla’s DDlg/ABDL day.
He lifted Kayla up in his arms and carried her like baby.  She woke up and he told her to just relax.  He put her down on the floor outside the bathroom and gave her a sponge bath, then picked her up again and took her over to this pallet he had put together in the bedroom to serve as a makeshift crib for her.   He diapered her and covered her up and kissed her goodnight.   

And thus Mike coined our 2018 Immersion as the “Got Milk?” Immersion!

EPILOGUE
I am very happy that Mike got to fulfill this desire, and that Kayla enjoyed it so much and connected with the DDlg role play to the point she wants to do more of it.  I got a lot of our Got Milk Immersion as well, but it was much different from what I got out of last year’s “Forbidden Zone.” 

Last year was more about testing boundaries and exploring an M/s dynamic.   While this year included many of those same elements, while fun, they were less revealing since we had already done them.  And we had the mindset we weren’t looking to explore even deeper, darker, Master/slave activities.    The most important revelation from this year’s Immersion is that, as I shared in Post 272,  I one-hundred percent feel like I have arrived!    In that post I shared where it is that I arrived – but it may be interesting to share how I realized I was finally there.   

It may be interesting, then again, it may be stupid.  Such is the risk I take at being vulnerable and sharing my thoughts.   Next post!!

Next:  275. Active Submission vs. Passive Submission

 

94. Kayla’s Contract. Defining her submission.

Kayla is working on a D/s contract. We felt she should write her own. She likes the framework of mine and it will have a lot of similarities, but will be modified to her needs and desires. Of course, we all know a contract is not binding, but it is the best tool to demonstrate commitment, and the second best tool for communicating and maintaining expectations. The best tool for that is, of course, old fashion talking!

EXPRESSING
No, this isn’t about some Hucow fetish, not that there is anything wrong with that.  This is about expressing feelings.  Sharing her feelings is going to be critical. I can tell it will be hard for her to truly identify what she is feeling. It may take some intense questioning/pushing in order to get her to identify the “true” feelings.  One way we will support this is that she is encouraged to ask me lots of questions, even to politely express her disagreement with anything, including me. With Mike, her questioning of his decisions, requests, or statements are reserved for Maintenance Sessions, just like for me – however, instead of weekly, her sessions will more frequent.

We all agreed that Kayla does enough suppressing of her emotions that we felt having to wait for a once a week session would be counterproductive. Kayla suggested “Immediate Maintenance” session that either she or Mike could call. Sort of like, “I need to express myself now, but want to respect the moment and not simply blurt out in anger.” Having a formal maintenance session, even an impromptu one, provides the best atmosphere for sharing. These “Immediate” sessions would have much of the pomp and circumstances of a weekly meeting, including a spanking. In addition, she would still be a normal weekly Maintenance Session. We might call these Immediate Sessions something else – still working on the details of that.

One other way we are supporting this is that at any time she may be questioned on what she is feeling in that moment.  She needs to quickly articulate it and possibly be pressed further to confirm or change her answer.  This could be very frustrating for her as she is used to answering, “Fine” to most questions about her feelings.

TERM
We talked about making the initial term of the contract 90 days. I feel setting a term is more about making a commitment to yourself.  From my personal experience it helped me not give up too quickly early on if I had a bad day or two.  Understanding that there is this end point helps give you strength to see the tough days through.  Of course, nothing keeps any of us from us walking away at any time, but writing it down in a contract makes you more committed.   I know I learned a lot after my first three months and being able to “renegotiate” was helpful in keeping my DD on track until Mike and I better settled into a routine.

KAYLA’S SUBMISSION TO ME
Surprise! She does what to be submissive to me. We talked about various concerns with that. I believe there is a chance she can feel overwhelmed submitting to both of us.  And it could be hard on us.  It is difficult enough for Mike to learn how to best be her Dom, and now I am put in that position as well?   Consistency? Duplication?  Lots of concerns there.

We ultimately agreed that she will always respond to me with a “Yes Ma’am” or a “No Ma’am,” but my punishing her would be limited. We agreed that I would be responsible for Immediate Rewards if Mike was not around.  Mike will address any transgressions that doesn’t require an immediate action. Also, as previously stated, she is able to question me more (still respectfully).

While this works for Kayla, I am a bit concerned that this can get me out of my submissive head space. I am not sure if it will, but I recognize the risk is there. We will just have to see. I am willing to give it a try and frankly, the thought of being a bit Dom intrigues me.

KAYLA’S DUTIES AND OBLIGATIONS
Kayla also wants similar “Duties and Obligations” regarding honesty, obedience, self-care, and safety. The M/s community often refers to the 4 D’s of Dishonesty, Disobedience, Danger, and Disrespect. I wanted to flip them to their positives of Honesty, Obedience, etc. It just sounds more positive! She wants to word her a bit differently, as she does have different obligations regarding school, etc., but she is keeping the same headings. Sounds good!

She is putting in a lot more rules than I have. For instance, keeping her room clean is good enough for us, but she wanted lots of specifics as to what it means. She said she gets a thrill thinking about having to focus on little details. She feels that focusing on and accomplishing her duties and obligations is a huge thrill, so having more of them will give her a bigger thrill. Of course, it also means more opportunities to be punished, but she said she is okay with that.

She says doesn’t have false expectations of never failing.   I wasn’t so sure at first. I don’t want her to take on too much. There have been days, especially early on in this lifestyle, that I felt a bit defeated. I know there will be days like that for her. I want her to be prepared and be equipped to shake those days off.   We spent a lot of time discussing this and ultimately I think she is going in with the right expectations.

We talked about the Sexual Obedience part of my contract. You would think that this shy, self-conscious young woman would wilt under the discussion of sex, but other than needing a bit of extra prying and encouragement, she is comfortable talking about it. Partly because we’ve talked about sexual things before, but not in this detail or context.   Ultimately, while Mike has full discretion in requesting any sexual act to be performed on or by me, Kayla wanted some limits. As it pertains to Mike and I being the ones performing “on or by her,” she was fine with full discretion for Mike. Otherwise, Mike can ask if she wants to partake (or be partaken – is that a word?), and she is free to decline.  I am happy she put some limits on this. I would be worried if she was just accepting everything. It tells me she is giving it some thought.

PUNISHMENTS
She plans to have similar “rewards” such as Immediate, Deferred, and Escalated.   She did have one request that I feel also shows she was giving this a lot of thought. She wants any spankings during maintenance sessions to only be by hand. I think she recognizes that hand spankings are a bit more intimate and the thought of that makes her feel good.

We talked about getting some new implements (as well as toys), sort of “hers, hers, and ours” where some could be used on/by both of us, and others were just for one of us.   Not quite an XXX-mas in July, in fact, more like a Merry XXXmas! There is some fun shopping ahead. We spent some time perusing some sex toys online. This was another great bonding experience with all of us sharing what did and did not look appealing to us. Suffice to say, our tastes were not that different, except she definitely likes the idea of handcuffs, ropes, and restraints way more than I do.

RECAP
Later in the day when we were recounting the events of when Mike asked her to undress, Kayla shared that while she was a bit shocked, she also got this “good” nervousness in her belly and nether-regions. She said she really looks forward to being submissive. She is excited about getting spanked but also worried about just how much it might hurt. She expressed concern about “not being able to take it.” We both reassured her that she should never hesitate with a safe word and she does not let anyone down if she needs to cut a punishment short. She even asked a couple of times that day if Mike was going to spank her as she would forget to call him Sir. Mike finally had to sternly tell her that there would be no spankings today. Her nakedness and inspection was enough submission for now. Mike is really letting the tension of thinking about a spanking build up inside her. I thought not spanking her that day was a bit unfair given how Kayla is. I think she would have benefited from a firm spanking right there, even for no particular reason. But I also know it will make her first spanking all the more memorable.

Until then!

Next: 95.  Much ado about. . . spanking